Indianapolis Monthly

Belly Aching

A FEW YEARS AGO, I had chest pains while out for my evening walk. At my annual physical several months later, I mentioned it to my doctor, who listened to my heart with his stethoscope, said I sounded fine, but scheduled a stress test “so we can get a good baseline heart measurement for you since you’re not getting any younger.” My doctor and I are about the same age, but it’s always me who’s not getting any younger, and never him. Nevertheless, I liked the idea of a fixed point against which I could measure my decline, to know with some certainty when I went to hell in a handbasket healthwise.

I’m halfway through my 58th

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