The Good, the Bad & the Ugly

ABARTH

595

> Pricey pocket rocket with divine details, dodgy dynamics and a choice of 1.4-litre turbocharged engines in various stages of steroidal overcompensation > VERDICT Like a small yappy dog: noisy, excitable and likely to give you a headache

124 SPIDER

> Tuning division’s take on Fiat’s take on the Mazda MX-5, with tweaked brakes, engine, steering and suspension > VERDICT A delight to drive, but the rational decision is to go for a better-value Mazda

ALFA ROMEO

GIULIETTA

> Looked like a credible Golf rival for a while but now the game has moved on. Keen prices, but several alternatives are roomier, classier and more fun to drive > VERDICT Miles better than a Mito. Miles better than a 4C, even. But, unfortunately, miles behind a Golf – the old one, let alone Mk8

4C/4C SPIDER

> Sexy carbon two-seater over-promises and under-delivers on a double-your-dong-length web-scam scale. Spider a step in right direction > VERDICT Shoots for the moon, hits itself in the foot. Lotus Elise more fun, Porsche Cayman a better bet

GIULIA

> Good grief – an Alfa Romeo we can finally recommend that you buy. Auto-only 3-series rival has sharp steering, sultry looks, great driving position and a choice of diesels and petrols. Bellissimo! > VERDICT Note to dealers: don’t cock it up

STELVIO

> Either we’ve collectively entered another dimension or Alfa Romeo has just built two excellent cars in a row. Now we just need everyone to start buying them again > VERDICT Worth the risk at least once in your life

GIULIA QUADRIFOGLIO

> Make that three in a row. Like a regular Giulia doped up by Lance Armstrong, this 191mph, 503bhp rocket is a quadruple shot of espresso for Alfa’s long lamented soul. At last > VERDICT The closest you can currently get to a four-door Ferrari. Really. That good

ALPINA

D3/B3

> 3-series derivatives with twin-turbo petrol and diesel stonk and smooth auto ’boxes mated to a quality chassis, but watch out for some questionable OAP-spec interior finishes > VERDICT Try an xDrive D3 Touring – it’s what the last-generation BMW M3 wants to be when it grows up

D4/B4

> Same blend of fast and frugal as the above but slotted into the slinkier 4-series shell. ZF automatic transmission is not as snappy as M4’s twin-clutch set-up, but much smoother > VERDICT 53mpg and 62mph in 4.6sec? And you’re alright with this, BMW?

D5/B5

> Twin-turbo B5 petrol V8’s 590lb ft could de-forest the Amazon while the planet-loving D5 doesn’t let a relatively meagre 155g/km prevent 174mph max > VERDICT You can’t have a real M5 Touring, but this comes close

B7

> BMW doesn’t make an M7, but Alpina does. Twin-blown petrol V8 delivers vast luxury couple with autobahn-busting performance that’s best enjoyed in Germany > VERDICT Niche Mercedes-AMG S63 alternative hamstrung by the ugliness of the raw materials

XD3

> A torquey straight-six diesel X3 with more cows inside than a tannery. Fast, fun and leftfield in the good kind of way > VERDICT Now actually quite good, this is one of the best-handling SUVs you’ll ever drive, but it’s flanked by cheaper rivals

ALPINE

A110

> Desirable, cleverly packaged and dynamics to die for. A bit pricey and the interior lacks wow but the Cayman should be seriously worried > VERDICT Reborn Alpine has smashed it clean out of the park

ARIEL

ATOM

> Only the Pope’s lips get more up close and personal with the tarmac than an Atom driver, but there’s zero weather protection > VERDICT Spectacular toy. Great on track, barmy on road

NOMAD

> Not content with terrifying on tarmac, Ariel also offers the off-road Nomad. Gains a roll-over structure but, like the Atom, still no doors > VERDICT Remember to put the hot water on – you’ll need a long, hot bath when you get home

ASTON MARTIN

VANTAGE

> A truly convincing 911 rival that’s impressively aggressive and thrillingly quick. Interior is pleasingly solid but lacks fizz > VERDICT A stunner to look at and rewarding to drive

DB11

> Slick aero slinkiness, belting V12 turbo and, crucially, Merc help with wiring > VERDICT Finally the right blend of new stuff and classic Aston charm results in a cut-above GT

DBS SUPERLEGGERA

> Superlight it isn’t, and can’t match the spine tingle of a Ferrari Superfast, but stunning to look at, incredibly quick and dripping with prestige > VERDICT A proper flagship GT, but softer-edged than a Ferrari 812

RAPIDE AMR

> Glorious final outing for Aston’s old-school V12. Forget the limo pretensions, though: it’s a cramped four-door 2+2 > VERDICT Pretty and still very fun to drive, but the interior is more dated than a New York socialite and almost as hard on your wallet

AUDI

A1

> Second-generation Mini rival is five-door only and ups the dimensions, tech and maturity on the first gen, although you can spec it in brash two-tone colour combos. Best at its simplest > VERDICT The Evoque of superminis: stylish, posh and will sell like hot cakes

A3 SPORTBACK/SALOON

REPLACED SOON

> King of quality, but adrenalin isn’t specified among the standard kit, although S versions are generally livelier all round > VERDICT Classy five-door hatch and four-door saloon, and not much of a financial gulf to a Golf

A3 CABRIOLET

REPLACED SOON

> Premium sun-grabber without macho sports-car posturing. A bit tight in the back, but pretty tight in the bends too. Try a 1.8 TFSI Sport > VERDICT Definitely worth the £2k premium over a VW Golf

RS3

REPLACED SOON

> The superhatch/saloon for those lacking in imagination and/or driving talent, RS3 struts its stuff best in a straight line > VERDICT Only feel a little bit ashamed for wanting one in preference to something more nimble

A4 SALOON/AVANT/ALLROAD

> Lighter, smarter, better to drive than the last one – and only microscopically different to look at > VERDICT As you were, except inside, where tech obsession offs elegance. Rivals remaining calm

RS4

> Estate-only hot A4 ditches free-revving V8 for RS5’s twin-turbo V6. Covers ground with impressive pace and ease and just a tiny bit of proper driver involvement > VERDICT An RS5 in a parka and Timberland boots

A5 SPORTBACK

> More tech and even better quality doesn’t compensate for a lack of personality. Better looking, but so is Dorking after eight pints. You could buy worse, but you’ll definitely get bored > VERDICT It’s better to live in than to drive

A5 COUPE/CABRIO

> Deceptive bunny boiler – looks normal until you realise it’s killed a TT and is wearing its face. Cue B-road mayhem. Not really > VERDICT Even more of an A4 in a frock than the last one, but still better to drive, especially the S

RS5

> Like a bouncer in a tailored suit, the hot A5’s power bulges through the creases in its bodywork. Twin-turbo V6 has full-bodied soundtrack; quattro provides grip > VERDICT Four-seat express with power to spare, but it’s not the most involving

A6

> BMW 5-series still edges it in the driving department, but the gap is much slimmer. Well-appointed, super comfortable, clever and handsome. Still a bit dull, mind > VERDICT A cruise missile for the outside lane of the M4

RS6

> Audi’s ultimate estate car steps up to the plate, swings and scores a home run. Fast, practical, imposing and impressively built, as ever. It’s also now fun to drive > VERDICT Five-star rival for the non-existent BMW M5 Touring

A7 SPORTBACK

> Think a more stylish A8 rather than A6 spin-off. Capable of incredible wafting ability and grippier than Spider-Man covered in superglue. Petrol properly refined but diesel will make better sense in the UK > VERDICT Stylish GT with sensible engines

RS7

> An Audi RS with communicative steering? Light the beacons! The fact it’s an imposing, stupidly fast and technology-overladen sports car killer should come as less of a surprise. Much more a driver’s car than the A7 > VERDICT Menacing

A8

> Packs enough technology to worry New king in the exec tech arms race