What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker: A Memoir in Essays
Written by Damon Young
Narrated by Damon Young
4.5/5
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About this audiobook
A Finalist for the NAACP Image Award
Longlisted for the PEN/Diamonstein-Spielvogel Award for the Art of the Essay
An NPR Best Book of the Year
A Washington Independent Review of Books Favorite of the Year
From the cofounder of VerySmartBrothas.com, and one of the most read writers on race and culture at work today, a provocative and humorous memoir-in-essays that explores the ever-shifting definitions of what it means to be Black (and male) in America.
For Damon Young, existing while Black is an extreme sport. The act of possessing black skin while searching for space to breathe in America is enough to induce a ceaseless state of angst where questions such as “How should I react here, as a professional black person?” and “Will this white person’s potato salad kill me?” are forever relevant.
What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Blacker chronicles Young’s efforts to survive while battling and making sense of the various neuroses his country has given him.
It’s a condition that’s sometimes stretched to absurd limits, provoking the angst that made him question if he was any good at the “being straight” thing, as if his sexual orientation was something he could practice and get better at, like a crossover dribble move or knitting; creating the farce where, as a teen, he wished for a white person to call him a racial slur just so he could fight him and have a great story about it; and generating the surreality of watching gentrification transform his Pittsburgh neighborhood from predominantly Black to “Portlandia . . . but with Pierogies.”
And, at its most devastating, it provides him reason to believe that his mother would be alive today if she were white.
From one of our most respected cultural observers, What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Blacker is a hilarious and honest debut that is both a celebration of the idiosyncrasies and distinctions of Blackness and a critique of white supremacy and how we define masculinity.
Editor's Note
Cringe, cry, contemplate…
Awkward and neurotic in all the best ways, this darkly comedic memoir from one of the internet’s funniest social critics (Very Smart Brothas cofounder Damon Young) will have you cringing, crying with laughter, and contemplating what it means to be a black man in America today.
Damon Young
Damon Young is the cofounder and editor in chief of VerySmartBrothas, a senior editor at The Root, and a columnist for GQ. His work has appeared in outlets such as the New York Times, the Washington Post, CNN, MSNBC, Al-Jazeera, Slate, Salon, The Guardian (UK), New York magazine, Jezebel, Complex, EBONY, Essence, USA Today, and the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.
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Reviews for What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker
124 ratings18 reviews
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I'll start by saying I love when a book is read by the author. However, if they're not particularly good at it, that can detract from the experience. Damon Young is a good writer, but not such a good narrator. His diction is a little flat, and doesn't really give his stories the life they deserve. That being said, the stories themselves are heartfelt and relatable. As the title would imply, he talks mostly about race, being black in America, and how that affects a person. One thing I staunchly dislike and disagree with is his constant use of the N word (with both the hard "er" and the soft "a" in different contexts), but at some point towards the middle of the book he addresses why he continues to use it and, while I still disagree, I respect his perspective. Just a fair warning to those who might be a little sensitive to the word. Overall, I think this was worth the read / listen, and it has inspired me to maybe do some writing of my own, so I appreciate that.
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Great anecdotes from Damon’s life that have tremendous relevance given race relations and privilege, and pop culture and hoop references are aplenty as well. Emotional and humorous and smart and relevant. All that we’ve come to expect from Damon.
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The right balance of humour and seriousness. This book challenges ignorance, stereotypes, racism and sexism in truly powerful way.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Superb .. I recommend highly recommend this gem to anyone who wants to gain insight on how it feels to be 'living while black' & as a person of colour , specifically as an African American. Funny observations and anecdotes
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Wow, i like reading vsb and then this book was way more complex and truthful and touching than i expected. Appreciate this view of Pittsburgh and family and learned some things about myself too
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This was an absolutely riveting and tragic account of El Faro, the container ship that ran into Hurricane Joaquin while enroute to Puerto Rico from Jacksonville, Fl, in October 2015, and disappeared, resulting in the loss of 33 lives. The first half of the book tells of the mariners and the final hours aboard ship (possible because of the subsequent find of the ship’s VDR that had recorded hours of conversations on the bridge). The second half details the search and subsequent infuriating investigation. The author is a journalist and the book has a “you are there” feel - it’s impossible not to feel deeply as ill formed decisions are made. It’s a page-turner of a book even as you know it’s going to end tragically. This isn’t a technical story, it’s more a story of people - the mariners and coast guard personnel - who work the water. Highly recommendedMy thanks to the publisher for providing a copy of this book for honest review.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Shortly before dawn on Thursday, October 1, 2015, an American merchant captain named Michael Davidson sailed a 790-foot U.S.-flagged cargo ship, El Faro, into the eye of a Category 3 hurricane near the the Bahama Islands.
This book was a riveting sea story of a horrible disaster. Many readers will enjoy it purely for that reason, but it's so much more. It details the struggles and challenges faced by mariners making a living on the sea, and the impact our society has on people when it makes decisions and laws based on economics, without also considering safety as equally important.
I was completely oblivious to the difficulties and risks facing the men and women who deliver our goods across the sea. The chapters alternate between the crew profiles and the more dry statistics of the ship, computer systems, and history of sea shipping. But I did find that history much more interesting than I expected I would.
I found this book to be a gripping narrative of a cargo ship’s tragic voyage. This is a well written book, and when the author sticks to the main narrative is quite compelling. I prefer not to have to read every author's political opinion, so I could have done with less social commentary. However, it's full of fascinating detail for anyone remotely interested in ships or shipping.
1347 - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Very interesting, entertaining and insightful. It gives people of other races the opportunity to see things from a black persons perspective.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Great read. Very insightful. I loved it and will read his other books.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Mannn was this book like looking into the mirror of my thoughts! Appreciate the willingness to speak from the depths of your experiences while being black in not only America, but more specifically Pittsburgh.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Incredible book. Made me laugh so much out loud. Really informative and beautifully written. Thank you Damon :)
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5A heavily padded magazine article, but still good. Did Slade really need to go into the history of the American Revolution? There are hundreds of capsule portraits of characters who disappear by the next page—fortunately, Slade doesn't draw them out too far. Slade constantly misuses the word "exponential," as in: "Wind speed and force have an exponential relationship, meaning that as the wind notches up, its force doubles, then triples, and then quadruples, and so on. It’s based on a simple formula: wind pressure per square foot = 0.00256 (wind speed)^2." This makes me wonder what other basic facts she gets completely wrong. Another flaw is that the narrative is strongly biased, especially against the corporate owner of the El Faro. To me, it seemed like most of the blame fell on the captain for heading right into the hurricane (based partly on mistaken weather reports), and some of what Slade assails as corporate doublespeak sounded completely reasonable. I'd like to know the truth, but we mostly get one side here. Also, despite all the padding elsewhere, the chapter on recommended safety improvements following the investigation is too brief. I am glad it is there. Also, not the author's fault given the publication date, but I would like to know whether these recommendations have been adopted or not. Despite these criticisms, the story is definitely spellbinding, and it reads quickly. Recommended.
- Rating: 1 out of 5 stars1/5Blah blah blibbidy blah. That’s about all I can say about this dud. But I am certain to be censored, for daring to suggest this book, to be rather a dud. That’s the state of the first amendment in our country today. Disgusting. This dumb book isn’t helping.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Too much detail which was irrelevant in parts of the story.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Very well researched and reminiscent of 'A Perfect Storm' in terms of how the story is told. It took a little bit to get absorbed into the book, but hard to be critical of it in any way.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Damon's voice is so unique. His perspectives are deep and cathartic. He will make you laugh and cry.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5It was so funny, but not funny, you know. The way young infused humor in these tough issues of race, poverty, sexism, gentrification, politics, etc. just made it so relaxing and relatable for me.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This is a powerful entry in the Black Lives Matter truth and reconciliation literary canon - plus it's UPROARIOUS! Meaning that the author, of the VSB (Very Smart Brothas) blog, is a humorist, a realist, and a powerfully vulnerable Black man. It's not written for white people or even for white allies specifically, which is a welcome relief, because the reader is being informed here but not schooled; not taught how to be anti-racist, but just taught about what it means to be a Black man. The chapter on Young's Pittsburgh childhood and about what he feels are the inevitable setbacks that can be expected in any Black family are the most wrenching, and reveals truths hidden from white Americans. His discourse on the two variations of the 'n-word' are eye-opening and provide a wealth of responses to share with those racists who don't understand why they can't say either. One of the most appealing chapters is a recounting of his two decades of weekly basketball games where his is the only Black man, and why none of these teammates, whose court skills he admires, have ever been to Damon’s home. His overwhelmingly persuasive denunciation of the repressive masculine standards that define American Black men is unforgettable. A must-read.Quotes: "It was more the type of gratitude that occurs when a seven-year-old nephew draws you a really sweet picture of Rosa Parks slam dunking a football.""Dad said, "Don't break yourself trying to appease white people. Martin Luther King was killed in a suit""If you're poor and Black, America acts like you emerged from the room twenty-seven years old, with four kids, five predicate felonies, and a lit Newport already between your lips. White babies get to be babies. Poor Black people are born Avon Barksdale.""There is the privilege of mistakes.""For the first two hours following the election of Barack Obama, I knew how it felt to be a white American. But all the whiteness I'd felt moments earlier and all the pride I felt moments earlier were neutralized by worry, tension, and dread. All I could think of were the wails I'd hear from the street when our Black-ass president-elect was assassinated. My president was Black. But for my sanity's sake, I wanted him to be invisible.""The world's rapiest vat of Cheez Whiz had somehow managed to become the next president.""It's just too fucking much to always have to be angry and alert. To always have to be ready and willing to challenge whiteness."