The Language of Choice Theory
4/5
()
About this ebook
In this companion volume to the bestselling Choice Theory, Dr. William Glasser and his wife, Carleen Glasser, have imagined typical conversations in real-life situations--between parent and child, two partners in a relationship, teacher and student, and boss and employee. On the left-hand page is a typical controlling order or threat, and on the right a more reasonable version, using choice theory, which is more likely to get a favorable response from the child, lover, student, or employee. Through these examples, the principles of choice theory come alive.
William Glasser, M.D.
William Glasser, M.D., is a world-renowned psychiatrist who lectures widely. His numerous books have sold 1.7 million copies, and he has trained thousands of counselors in his Choice Theory and Reality Therapy approaches. He is also the president of the William Glasser Institute in Los Angeles.
Read more from William Glasser, M.D.
Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Warning: Psychiatry Can Be Hazardous to Your Mental Health Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Reality Therapy: A New Approach to Psychiatry Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5POSITIVE ADDICTION Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Quality School Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFor Parents and Teenagers: Dissolving the Barrier Between You and Your Teen Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Choice Theory in the Classroom Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Eight Lessons for a Happier Marriage Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Schools Without Fail Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Control Theory Manager Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsStations of the Mind Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Identity Society Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsQuality School Teacher RI Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related to The Language of Choice Theory
Related ebooks
For Parents and Teenagers: Dissolving the Barrier Between You and Your Teen Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Take Charge of Your Life: How to Get What You Need with Choice-Theory Psychology Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Thoughtful Answers to Timeless Questions: Decades of Wisdom in Letters: From the Author of Choice Theory- William Glasser, M.D. Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSummary of Dr. William Glasser's Choice Theory Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGetting Together and Staying Together: Solving the Mystery of Marriage Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Eight Lessons for a Happier Marriage Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Control Theory Manager Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSchools Without Fail Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Identity Society Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTransactional Analysis in Psychotherapy: A Systematic Individual and Social Psychiatry Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Handbook of Self-Regulation Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Emotion, Psychopathology, and Psychotherapy Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Relational Gestalt Practice: Key Concepts Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5First Response Resiliency Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Therapist's View of Personal Goals Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Path to a Meaningful Purpose: Psychological Foundations of Logoteleology Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A Way of Being Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Lies We Tell Ourselves: How to Face the Truth, Accept Yourself, and Create a Better Life Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Gestalt Therapy: A Brief Introduction Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Ten Steps to Positive Living: (Second Edition) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTreatment Planning with Choice Theory and Reality Therapy Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGroup Dynamics: Basics and Pragmatics for Practitioners Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Walking Through Anger: A New Design for Confronting Conflict in an Emotionally Charged World Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Understanding Human Nature: The psychology of personality Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Well-Being Writ Large: The Essential Work of Virginia Satir Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Science of Living Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Touching the Soul in Gestalt Therapy: Stories & More Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Thinking Out of the Box: Unconventional Psychotherapy Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHandbook of Terror Management Theory Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Psychology For You
How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Becoming Bulletproof: Protect Yourself, Read People, Influence Situations, and Live Fearlessly Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Art of Witty Banter: Be Clever, Quick, & Magnetic Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Anxious for Nothing: Finding Calm in a Chaotic World Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Laziness Does Not Exist Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5101 Fun Personality Quizzes: Who Are You . . . Really?! Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Self-Care for People with ADHD: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Prioritize You! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Changes That Heal: Four Practical Steps to a Happier, Healthier You Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – and the Unexpected Solutions Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Art of Letting Go: Stop Overthinking, Stop Negative Spirals, and Find Emotional Freedom Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Source: The Secrets of the Universe, the Science of the Brain Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: The Narcissism Series, #1 Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Your Brain's Not Broken: Strategies for Navigating Your Emotions and Life with ADHD Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Introverted Leader: Building on Your Quiet Strength Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhat Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Reviews for The Language of Choice Theory
2 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
The Language of Choice Theory - William Glasser, M.D.
INTRODUCTION
The external control psychology that we use when we have difficulty getting along with others is destructive to the relationships all of us need. In my 1998 book, Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom, I offer a new psychology that is the diametric opposite of external control. The more it is used, the more it improves our relationships
In that book I propose that we give up external control psychology completely and replace it with choice theory to enable us to do something we have failed to do since history began: significantly improve the way we get along with one another. Doing this would result in better marriages, happier families, more successful schools, and increased quality and productivity in the workplace.
Since the best way to understand theory is through its practice, this book examines the bossy or controlling language we use when we can't get along with one another. Specifically, we use the language associated with criticizing, blaming, complaining, threatening, punishing, and/or rewarding to try to get what we want. This external control language always harms and often destroys the relationships we must have for happiness and success. External control is a plague on all humanity.
Choice theory is exactly the opposite. Its language, never bossy or controlling, is always an attempt to work out the differences between people in a way that satisfies both parties. For example, open, fair, and noncoercive negotiation is always the choice of people who use this new theory. They will listen, support, sustain, tolerate, and be patient with one another.
The difference between the two languages is startling. External control speech is peppered with the imperative tense, with should, must, and have to, plus threats of punishment if you don’t do what you’re told and promises of reward if you do. Choice theory language helps us to work out problems with one another; external control language increases them.
In the following pages this new way of expressing ourselves will be clearly seen in four situations. In