Why Me? Help for Victims of Child Sexual Abuse (Even if they are adults now)
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About this ebook
People are saying . . .
"A good simple, beginning book for child, teen, and adult survivors"
- authors Ellen Bass and Laura Davis describing "Why Me? Help for Victims of Child Sexual Abuse" in their groundbreaking book for abuse victims, "The Courage To Heal."
"As well as helping victims, it is also a book for people who want to learn more about child sexual abuse"
- Adrian Ford, Senior Social Worker at The Children's Hospital, Camperdown, NSW, Australia writing in her introduction to the Australian edition of "Why Me? Help for Victims of Child Sexual Abuse."
Now YOU can . . .
* Understand Child Sexual Abuse.
* Change It Impact on Your Life!
Adults and adolescents who were sexually abused as children find help and healing in this classic bestseller from a respected Clinical Psychologist. Now in its fourth edition, this warm and personal, beginning guide gives you . . .
- answers to child sexual abuse questions
- stories of male and female victims
- insights into sexual abusers
- explanations of effects on victims
- step-by-step guidance to begin your recovery
- resources for additional assistance
Understand important psychological concepts easily because they are presented in clear, everyday language. Feel understood and valued as you begin healing from the pain of child sexual abuse with this classic bestseller.
> Honored as an Editor's Choice Selection by "Booklist"
> Over 60,000 copies sold worldwide
> Recommended reading by support groups from New Jersey to Alaska, Scotland to The Netherlands to Fiji
Lynn Daugherty
Clinical psychologist Dr. Lynn Daugherty, an award-winning author and an internationally respected expert on child sexual abuse, has been bringing hope and healing to victims and their families for more than twenty-five years.
Read more from Lynn Daugherty
Child Molestation Stories: Voices of Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse (Molestation, Rape, and Incest) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Listening and Talking to Your Sexually Abused Child Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
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Book preview
Why Me? Help for Victims of Child Sexual Abuse (Even if they are adults now) - Lynn Daugherty
Why Me?
Help for Victims
of
Child Sexual Abuse
(Even if they are adults now)
Fourth Edition
by
Dr. Lynn Daugherty
Author of
Child Molesters, Child Rapists, and Child Sexual Abuse
Published by
Cleanan Press, Inc.
Roswell, New Mexico USA
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2006 Lynn B. Daugherty
This book is also available as a paperback from online booksellers and local bookstores.
Table of Contents
Cover
Title Page and Copyright
Purpose of this book
Warning—Disclaimer
Chapter One. Questions and answers about child sexual abuse
Chapter Two. Understanding people who sexually abuse children
Chapter Three. Stories from victims of child sexual abuse
Chapter Four. The effects of child sexual abuse on the victim and the victim’s family
Chapter Five. A guide to beginning recovery
Additional Resources
About the Author
Acknowledgements
Extended Copyright and Licensing Agreement
Selection from Dr. Daugherty's book, Child Molesters, Child Rapist, and Child Sexual Abuse
Purpose of this book
This book was written to be read by victims of child sexual abuse who are now teenagers or adults. It is also intended for counselors and others who want to understand and help these victims.
To the victim
The purpose of this book is to help you understand what happened to you and why. It is also meant to help you sort out your own thoughts, feelings and behaviors.
This book contains much factual information about child sexual abuse. It also contains stories told by other victims of child sexual abuse. They are retold to let you know that many children have suffered through experiences similar to yours. Many of these former victims have gone on to live happy, successful lives.
This book was written as a guide to help you recover from the negative effects of the abuse you suffered and to help you make a better life for yourself.
To the friend, relative or spouse of the victim
This book is intended to provide you with a better understanding of the experiences of victims of child sexual abuse. Just making an effort to understand a person’s thoughts and feelings is sometimes the most helpful thing one person can do for another.
To the counselor
In addition to providing you with a better understanding of the experiences of victims of child sexual abuse, this book is designed as an aid to be used with victims in helping them recover from the negative effects of child sexual abuse.
return to Table of Contents
Warning—Disclaimer
This book is not intended to replace the services of a professional mental health counselor, or to provide professional psychological services to you. If you need expert professional help, you should seek the services of a competent mental health professional.
Reading this book can bring back strong unpleasant thoughts and feelings. These could even lead to thoughts of suicide or other injury. If you find yourself overwhelmed by these thoughts or feelings, please seek professional mental health services immediately!
Every effort has been made to make this book as accurate as possible. However, there may be mistakes, both typographical and in content. Furthermore, this book contains information that is current only up to the date of publication. Therefore, this text should be used only as a general guide to understanding child sexual abuse and not as the ultimate source of information. Please learn as much as possible about child sexual abuse from all available sources and tailor the information to your own individual needs.
The author and Cleanan Press, Inc. shall have neither liability nor responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any loss or damage caused, or alleged to have been caused, directly or indirectly, by the information contained in this book.
return to Table of Contents
Chapter One
Questions and answers about child sexual abuse
Here are some questions many people ask about child sexual abuse.
What is sexual abuse?
Sexual abuse takes place any time a person is tricked, trapped, forced or bribed into a sexual act. It most often involves unwanted touching of the victim.
Why is sexual abuse wrong?
Sexual abuse is wrong because it hurts people. Sometimes it hurts the victim physically. More often it causes the victim to suffer psychologically. It can cause mild to severe problems with fear, confusion, anger, shame, depression and lowered self-esteem for the victim. It can also cause other serious problems later in life.
Most people who were sexually abused as children go on to lead satisfying and productive lives, but many suffer from the effects of the abuse in some way, even years later.
Each person’s body is special and belongs to that person alone. Each person has the right to decide who can touch his or her body, when it may be touched and how. Sexual abuse violates the right of each person to make important decisions about his or her own body.
What is the difference between sexual abuse and normal sex play
?
It is normal for children to explore their own and other children’s bodies. It is normal for children to touch their own bodies or those of other children in ways that feel good. This normal sex play
is one way we learn about our bodies and our own likes and dislikes. It is also one way we learn about the bodies of other people.
Sexual abuse is different. It involves sexual activity that is tricked, trapped, forced or bribed. Usually one of the persons involved in the abuse is older, more knowledgeable, or more powerful than the other and takes advantage of this difference.
What happens during child sexual abuse?
Sexual abuse may include any type of sexual activity. It can range from forcible rape to gentle, but unwanted, touching. Being unwillingly exposed to sexual activity or the genitals of another or forced to show one’s own genitals to someone else is also a form of sexual abuse. Abuse may occur in person
or through images or written material, usually called pornography.
Who sexually abuses children?
Children are usually abused by someone older than themselves. Often the person is in some position of authority over the child. This may be an adult stranger, a parent or stepparent, an aunt or uncle, a grandfather or grandmother, a pastor or counselor, a teacher or an adult friend. It may be a teenage babysitter, an older cousin, an older brother or sister or an older child in the neighborhood. Eight out of ten child victims are sexually abused by someone they know and trust, rather than by a stranger.
How does child sexual abuse happen?
Although violent sexual attacks of children sometimes take place, the sexual abuse of children usually involves more subtle force. This may be threats of harm or threats of telling on
the child for some misdeed. Other times the child may be bribed with gifts or special privileges.
Children are often tricked into unwanted sexual contact. This may involve games, which start out as fun and end with unwanted contact. Sometimes the older person tricks the child by telling him or her that what they are doing is OK
or that everybody
does it, or that it is for the child’s own good.
The sexual abuser’s power, knowledge and resources are greater than those of the child victim.
He or she exploits this difference to take advantage of the child.
What different patterns of child sexual abuse occur?
Child sexual abuse may be divided into three patterns. These patterns may have different effects on the victim.
Brief incidents
This type of sexual abuse may happen only once to a child. The abuser may be a stranger or an acquaintance. The abuse occurs as an isolated incident. A stranger may expose his genitals to a child who is walking down the street. An acquaintance may try to touch the child’s genitals while in a movie. A child may be kidnapped and raped. Both boys and girls are commonly the victims of brief incidents of sexual abuse.
Continuing relationships
This type of sexual abuse