The Dog Story: A Journey into a New Life with Multiple Sclerosis

The Dog Story

A Journey into a New Life with Multiple Sclerosis

By: Matt Cavallo

This is dedicated to the patients, caregivers, practitioners and lives affected by Multiple Sclerosis.

Published by: Four Horse Enterprises, LLC

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2008 Matt Cavallo

ISBN: 9781476274379

For Jocelyn, thank you for standing next to me every step of the way.

For Mason and Colby, one day may this better help you understand who your dad was.

And Ted, thank you for making sure I keep my promise.

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

Thank you for downloading, The Dog Story! This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you are reading this ebook and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return it to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author. Enjoy!

Table of Contents

Prologue

Chapter One - Wednesday, May 18

Chapter Two - Not So Typical Morning Commute

Chapter Three - Just Another Day at the Office

Chapter Four - Numbing End to Numbing Day

Chapter Five - Thursday, May 19

Chapter Six - Boss Knows Best

Chapter Seven - Urgent Care

Chapter Eight - Friday, May 20

Chapter Nine - Monday, May 23

Chapter Ten - The ER

Chapter Eleven - Radiology

Chapter Twelve - Admittance

Chapter Thirteen - Tuesday, May 24

Chapter Fourteen - Some Troubling News

Chapter Fifteen - Wednesday, May 25

Chapter Sixteen - The Spinal Tap

Chapter Seventeen - Thursday, May 26

Chapter Eighteen - Physical Therapy Assessment

Chapter Nineteen - Friday, May 27

Chapter Twenty - Hospital Discharge

Chapter Twenty One - Home at Last

Chapter Twenty Two - Saturday, May 27

Chapter Twenty Three - Saturday, May 28

Chapter Twenty Four - Friday, June 3

Chapter Twenty Five - The Diagnosis

Chapter Twenty Six - Saturday, June 11

Chapter Twenty Seven - Followed by a Moon Shadow

Chapter Twenty Eight - Thursday, July 14

Chapter Twenty Nine - Happy Birthday!!!

Chapter Thirty - Saturday, July 30

Chapter Thirty One - Life after Teddy

About the Author

Connect with me Online

Prologue

I have always known that I am different. From a very young age, I had an awareness of this fact. I could never really pinpoint the how or the why because from the outside I fit my white, middle class ideal. But on the inside I knew that my edges were just a hair too jagged to fit smoothly into the puzzle of my life. In my family, I’ve always been the stereotypical black sheep. My younger brother is my mother’s BHB, big-handsome-boy, and my sister is the cherished Baby. I am just Matt and never knew if that was good enough in my parents’ eyes. Despite having friends and being a talented athlete, I was constantly searching for validation that I fit in with my peers throughout childhood and adolescence. I shied away from many social situations growing up because I felt misunderstood. Maybe I was ahead of my time. Or behind the times. Whatever it was, my timing was always off. In high school, I wrote and recorded gansta rap way before the Eminems of the world. The only time I felt fully comfortable in my own skin was with my German Shepherds. They were my friends, confidants and sources of pure unconditional love and acceptance. I could tell them anything and they never judged me. As an adult, my insecurities started to take a back seat. I fell in love and married my college sweetheart, Jocelyn, or Joci as I call her, and started a budding career at a real estate development company. Everything in my life was falling into place. That was until one morning when I woke up that would change everything. I was about to find out how different I really was…

Chapter One - Wednesday, May 18

Come on Zack, keep going boy! You can do it. I sit back on the heels of my rollerblades, holding the leash like a reign as my German Shepherd tirelessly pulls me up the hilly road by my house. It is known as Rollercoaster Road to all of the townies. Nothing is more invigorating than flying down the hill at top speed on my rollerblades but getting up is too much effort without Zack. Zack doesn’t mind, though. He would pull me up Mount Everest if I asked him. We must have done this hill thousands of times on our way to walks through the forest.

Zack continues to huff and puff up the hill, never stopping or looking back. He is completely focused on making it to the top. When we finally reach the peak, he looks adoringly at me with his big brown eyes. I gently pat him and say Good boy.

Now for our favorite part- the downhill run. At the count of three, we take off. Zack gallops gracefully by my side as I let my weight fall forward, gradually picking up the velocity of the rollerblades. The air is clean and crisp on this quintessential New England fall day. The leaves are still clinging to the trees but soon they will cover the ground like a golden quilt. Peeking through the leaves is a bright, almost blinding sun.

Faster, faster. Our momentum builds. The speed and sunshine make it hard to focus ahead but I know we will soon be at the forest entrance at the bottom of the hill. I hear Zack’s heavy panting buzzing in my ear but can’t see past the white light of the sun….

It’s 6:20. I’m Kevin Karlson, He’s Pete McKenzie.

Startled, I open my eyes.

Stupid alarm clock, I mutter to the empty room. Five more minutes of sleep. That’s all I need. I hate not finishing a good dream. Especially one that involves Zack. God, I miss that dog. I try to close my eyes again but it’s a futile effort. I can’t get back to the dream. I’m up now.

I hear water running, spraying down, splashing lightly. The sound of the shower signals the start of another day. The shades are drawn, but gray light spills in around the edges. Just enough to be annoying.

I try to turn away from the light but my body is stuck in the sheets like I’ve been dipped in glue. My neck is so stiff that it hurts to fully extend my arms. I roll my head back and forth on the pillow to see if that will help loosen the neck muscles but it doesn’t. I drop my head back down on the pillow and squeeze my eyes shut.

Fighting through the stiffness, I raise my head off the pillow and rub behind my ears. My head feels sore and swollen. I ache all over, too. Instead of feeling rested, I feel like I was beaten up in a back alley last night. What the heck happened to me?

I glance over at to Jocelyn’s side of the bed. Centered on the night stand is a large reading lamp with a big brass base. The remaining surface of the night stand is littered with empty Poland Spring bottles, Jocelyn’s designer reading glasses, the TV remote, and an assortment of magazines. Hidden somewhere in the clutter behind the lamp is the cheap alarm clock ruining my morning.

I need to turn off the alarm, but I am strangely disorientated. I stretch and lunge across the queen-sized bed. It takes every inch of me to find the offending clock radio. I slam the off switch, sending the mess of magazines and bottles crashing to the floor.

Shit! I blurt and crash face first onto Jocelyn’s pillow.

You okay? Jocelyn calls from bathroom. Her shower has stopped. What’s all the commotion in there?

Nothing … I’m fine! I holler back as I try to pull myself together. After living with me for the past six years, my ever-patient wife is accustomed to my absent-minded, accident-prone ways. I turn my focus on the scene of the crime. Hopefully those water bottles weren’t full. I’d hate to ruin Jocelyn’s People Magazine before she reads about the latest celebrity break-up.

I try to crawl across the bed but can’t free my legs from the sheets. My legs feel like they’re both wrapped with hundred pound weights. It takes great strength to drag each leg out of each fold in the sheets. I get the top half of my body to the edge of the mattress and reach down. The water bottles are still just out of reach.

I stretch out as far as I can until I have to catch myself with my hands and arms to keep from nose diving into the floor. My T-shirt falls down around my neck and face now as I began picking the trash off the floor with one hand while supporting myself with the other.

The lights come on.

Oh, that’s real attractive! My wife sarcastically laughs as she looks at my half-naked body hanging half off the bed.

Admit it, I reply. I’ve got a great ass!

That was the main reason that I married you! She laughs again. Sooo … what happened in here, exactly?

Never mind that now. Joci, I’m stuck here. Come help me up.

My head is so close to the floor by now that my hair could be a mop. I watch Jocelyn’s perfectly manicured toes as she snakes her way through the furniture in our cozy bedroom. The old floorboards creak as she comes toward me, twisting to squeeze in between the bed and TV cabinet, which is only inches past the foot of the bed.

Finally, she’s standing in front of me. Even upside down, she’s hot. She’s often mistaken for Kirsten Dunst, though, she hates the comparison. Right now, her blonde hair is pulled back in a shower-soaked pony tail and her slender body is wrapped provocatively from breast to thigh in a purple bath towel. There’s not much left to the imagination. Not that mine needs much.

Matty! Now how did you manage to get yourself into this mess?

She squints her eyes like Mr. Magoo as she tries to ascertain how I ended up in such a predicament. She’s nearly blind without her glasses or contacts. She mostly wears contacts, except when she gets up in the morning or right before bed.

Well, I reply, I was trying to turn off the alarm when I kind of knocked everything over. Next thing you know, I sort of slid off the bed trying to clean up.

I squirm and push myself up from the floor, but I’m too far over the edge of the bed to get back up.

I bat my eyes at her. Ma’am, would you kindly help me up?

She rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

Only you, she laughs. I’ll grab your feet and pull you back up. She walks back around the bed.

Okay, careful now, I say as she disappears behind me. I’m two hundred pounds of man here, Joci. Let’s try not to throw your back out, okay?

She laughs. Don’t act like this is the first time I’ve picked you up off the floor, Matt.

I grimace. Touché.

Next thing you know I am being pulled up from my feet. I think. I mean I feel the friction of my body being pulled across the sheets, but I don’t feel her hands against the skin of my legs. I only have the sensation of pins and needles in my legs and my neck is still stiff, too.

Back up on the bed, I roll over and look up at my wife, who is smiling down on me. She drops the purple towel and begins to dry off. I wriggle over to my side of the bed to get a better look. She slowly traces the curves of her body with the towel, massaging her wonderful breasts in the process.

Don’t you have to get ready for work? she asks

In a minute....

I swallow the frog in my throat. I’m suddenly feeling a tingling sensation starting in my chest and spreading down my torso. My mind instantly shifts gears as I shrug off the strange sensations. Plus, work can wait.

She lifts one leg on the bed and bends forward toward me, delicately drying her inner thigh. Then she turns and dries her lower back, completely oblivious to the fact that I am instantly aroused. So much so that I reach down into my boxers to give myself a little head start. This has to be quick. Jocelyn takes her job seriously. I’ll have to—

Umm … wait. Something’s not right here.

I look down to see that despite my arousal I don’t have an erection. I am more than a little unsettled at this point. I feel a hot rush of panic in my chest. This has never happened to me before. Does this ever happen to a guy at the ripe old age of twenty-eight?

You okay over there? You look like you saw a ghost or something. Jocelyn asks.

I’m fine, just…um not feeling that great. I think I tweaked my back last night in my sleep somehow. A shower should help.

Need me to get you anything?

No. Just help me up.

Ok, she says as I’m finally able to swing my heavy legs over the side of the bed. She reaches down and helps pull me up. I wobble weak on my legs and feel a bit dizzy. My whole body is in some sort of fog that I just can’t shake. I start to lose my balance and reach out to catch myself with a hand against the wall.

Seriously, are you okay? Jocelyn looks more concerned now. You really don’t seem like yourself this morning.

Trying to minimize the situation, I say, Yeah, you know just need to wake the body up and get those juices flowing.

She raises her eyebrows, not convinced by my lame attempt at humor but decides not to press further. Just please be careful. You probably overdid it at the gym yesterday. She glances at the clock and quickly turns towards the closet to continue getting ready. Oh, I’ve gotta hurry. I’m running late.

With Jocelyn focusing on her wardrobe choices, I start my journey to the bathroom. The bottoms of my feet are numb and the pins and needles sensation seems to have spread all the way up my legs. Since I can’t feel the floor under my feet, I slowly wobble down the hallway using the walls as a crutches.

Once inside our small bathroom, I quietly close the door behind me, then face myself in the mirror. My dirt-brown hair sits like a helmet on my head, and my pale skin attests to the sun’s long winter absence in these here parts. My raccoon eyes are sunken into my head. What the hell is going on with me today? This is the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me. I am completely perplexed right now as to why my legs won’t work. Did I overdo it at the gym yesterday? No, not that I remember. There has got to be some logical explanation for all of this. I bet I’ll be fine after a nice hot shower. Deep breath. No need to panic.

You got to take better care of yourself, I tell the man in the mirror.

What? Jocelyn calls from the bedroom. Did you say something?

No. Nothing. I was just talking to myself.

Our bathroom is small with powder blue walls, white fixtures and a window that looks out to the street when the blinds are open. There is one sink with a toilet next to it. Across from the toilet and sink is the tub.

I move left of the sink and position myself in front of the toilet, place my left hand on the wall in front of me so I don’t fall down. Most mornings I would be wrestling my morning hard-on like an out-of-control fire hose to keep from spraying everything but the bowl. Today, however, my penis is hanging limp and shrunken, like I just got out of the pool. As I stare into the toilet bowl trying to comprehend my current state of impotency, I realize things are much, much worse than I thought. I can’t pee! I feel my chest start to tighten up again in panic. How is this possible? I want to scream but I can’t get any words out.

I move, change my position, move again, still holding myself upright with a hand on the wall. I lean closer to the toilet.

NOTHING!!

I shift my weight again, reposition my legs, and change my distance from the bowl.

Still NOTHING!

A knock on the bathroom door startles me.

Matty! I need to get in there. I need to dry my hair. I’m late!

One minute.

I can’t let her see me like this. How would I explain this to her? Jocelyn is the worrying type. I am not even sure what is going on so I don’t want freak people out for no reason. There has to be a simple explanation for all of this. I just haven’t figures it out yet. I need some time to think. What to do? What to do? My brain is racing. My heart pounding. No place to hide but the shower. Ah, a brilliant idea. Pee in the shower. She’ll be none the wiser.

Can I come in, please? She begs.

Sure.

Just as she opens the door, I flush the toilet to create the illusion of successful urination. She comes in, stands at the sink, and pulls the hairdryer out of the drawer making our small bathroom really crowed. I try to twist around behind her and reach into the shower to get the water going. Luckily, I get the shower going without falling flat