One Hundred Fair-to-Middling Jokes
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About this ebook
This is a compilation of one hundred (generally inoffensive) jokes, some short, some long.
Each joke is given a title and is numbered.
They vary in length - from very short (a couple of lines) to fairly long (thirty lines plus).
After the main body of jokes there is a section which explains each one for readers who might not have fully understood.
This should be useful for readers who are not native speakers of English - or even readers from other parts of the English-speaking world where the humour of one part may be somewhat incomprehesnible to the other.
There is also a list of the jokes by title, and by number. Some of these sections may be more or less useful according to the format in which the book is viewed.
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Book preview
One Hundred Fair-to-Middling Jokes - Ebenezer Jackson-Firefly
ONE HUNDRED FAIR-TO-MIDDLING JOKES
Copyright 2012 Ebenezer Jackson-Firefly
Smashwords Edition
ISBN: 9781476253404
http://www.livroy_kimkat.org
This book should not really be copied as Mr. Jackson-Firefly is living on the fringes of poverty, and he informs us that he would prefer it if the book were purchased rather than be copied and freely distributed. He might thus enjoy a bowl of hot soup now and then with whatever sporadic and sparse income that his literary creation generates. We appreciate your cooperation in helping Mr. Jackson-Firefly continue to eke out a meagre existence as a laughterologist.
The Editors.
TEXT OF THE COVER: One Hundred Fair-to-Middling Jokes / Eminently suitable for connoisseurs of mediocrity / Ebenezer Jackson-Firefly
LIST OF CONTENTS
1. INTRODUCTION (1% of the book)
2. CONTENTS: JOKES BY TITLE (6% of the book)
3. CONTENTS: JOKES 301-400 ACCORDING TO NUMBER (6% of the book)
The jokes begin here:
4. ONE HUNDRED JOKES (70% of the book)
5. DON’T GET IT? THE JOKES EXPLAINED (20% of the book)
And here the book begins:
1. INTRODUCTION
This is the second compendium of jokes by Ebenezer Jackson-Firefly (nom de plume of Ezekiel Jackson-Firefly). His first joke book was published in April 2012 to the bewilderment of many, and resulted in zero sales. Encouraged by this spectacular lack of success, Mr. Jackson-Firefly has rewarded the reading public with a further one hundred jokes.
Frankly, some of them are so awful that they should never have seen the light of day. And yet... we have found that some of the best jokes didn’t raise a laugh at all with some people, and yet the weakest jokes were thought to be hilarious by others. There’s no accounting for taste, it seems.
We have added a section ‘Don’t Get It?’ which explains the inner workings of the jokes
for those readers who may not have seen the humour or understood the punchline.
Mr. Jackson-Firefly has told us that he has many more jokes in his twenty-drawer birch library-card file, something which we were rather afraid of.
And that’s all for the moment.
2. CONTENTS: JOKES BY TITLE (6% of the book)
A CHARITABLE ACT x0364x
A CURE FOR INSOMNIA x0363x
A HOME REPAIRS EMERGENCY x0361x
A NOT-SO-DIFFICULT CALCULATION x0380x
A STIFF NECK x0395x
A VERY SICK PATIENT x0308x
ACHES AND PAINS x0307x
BACK TO BASICS x0349x
BAD HOMEWORK x0375x
BALD BILLY x0398x
BOILED CABBAGE x0387x
BROKEN LEG x0321x
CARROTS x0384x
COFFEE x0312x
COWS x0360x
DAILY MEDICINE x0310x
DIZZINESS x0304x
DOING THE HOUSEWORK x0348x
DREAMING x0382x
ENGLISH SPELLING x0359x
FIRST DAY AT SCHOOL x0385x
FLY IN THE SOUP – AN UNUSUAL OCCURRENCE x0389x
FUNNY TASTE x0315x
FUTUROLOGY x0324x
GEOGRAPHY QUESTIONS x0374x
GIVING UP YOUR PLACE ON THE BUS x0344x
HELPING A FRIEND x0322x
HUNTING x0370x
HUNTING WEEVILS x0358x
IN HOSPITAL x0323x
IN VINO VERITAS x0342x
ISLAND x0369x
KNIGHT OF THE REALM x0378x
LATE TRAINS x0337x
LAZY DAUGHTER x0317x
LIAR x0319x
LITTLE ASTON HALT x0336x
LONGEVITY x0313x
MORE PILLS x0318x
NERVOUSNESS x0311x
NEW PLIMSOLLS x0371x
NO MILK x0305x
NO SCHOOL IN THE AFTERNOON x0355x
NO SCHOOL TODAY x0354x
NOT SLEPT A WINK x0306x
PARANOIA x0394x
POPULATION EXPLOSION x0399x
SCREAMING AND SHOUTING x0391x
SEAFOOD x0320x
SICK x0386x
SNARLER x0367x
STRANGE WORDS x0368x
TAXI TO THE STATION x0328x
THE AGE GAP x0345x
THE APPLES x0381x
THE BAD KNEE x0314x
THE BAGSNATCHER x0340x
THE BALLOONIST AND THE FISHERMAN x0347x
THE BLOOD TEST x0352x
THE BORED WIFE x0331x
THE CIRCUS JUGGLER x0397x
THE CLEVER DOG x0365x
THE COUNTRYSIDE RAMBLER x0335x
THE DEAD HORSE x0333x
THE DEERHUNTER x0309x
THE DELUDED HUSBAND x0346x
THE DISGUSTING STEW x0390x
THE DOG THAT TALKS IN ITS SLEEP x0332x
THE ELEVATED RAILWAY x0338x
THE EMERGENCY x0400x
THE EYE TEST x0396x
THE FAT LADY x0350x
THE FIRING SQUAD x0327x
THE HANDYMAN x0325x
THE HARD-WORKING TILER x0326x
THE INATTENTIVE PUPIL x0353x
THE LETTER x0372x
THE MISSING HORSE x0301x
THE MOON x0383x
THE NIGHT SLEEPER x0393x
THE PENCILS x0376x
THE PHOTO IN THE HANDBAG x0343x
THE PILLS x0303x
THE PIROUETTING DOG x0351x
THE QUEUE x0379x
THE SAD DEMISE OF THE CAT x0329x
THE SICK HUSBAND x0392x
THE SICK PUPIL x0356x
THE SLUG x0316x
THE SPECIAL SOUP x0388x
THE STATION AT DUNSTER x0334x
THE SWEETSHOP x0357x
THE THREE LUMBERJACKS x0339x
THE UNFUNNNY TOWN MAYOR x0330x
THE WHOLE TRUTH x0366x
THIRSTY x0302x
TOMATO SOUP x0341x
UNCONVINCING DIAGNOSIS x0362x
WINNING THE LOTTERY x0373x
WRONG SPELLING x0377x
3. CONTENTS: JOKES 301-400 ACCORDING TO NUMBER (6% of the book)
x0301x THE MISSING HORSE
x0302x THIRSTY
x0303x THE PILLS
x0304x DIZZINESS
x0305x NO MILK
x0306x NOT SLEPT A WINK
x0307x ACHES AND PAINS
x0308x A VERY SICK PATIENT
x0309x THE DEERHUNTER
x0310x DAILY MEDICINE
x0311x NERVOUSNESS
x0312x COFFEE
x0313x LONGEVITY
x0314x THE BAD KNEE
x0315x FUNNY TASTE
x0316x THE SLUG
x0317x LAZY DAUGHTER
x0318x MORE PILLS
x0319x LIAR
x0320x SEAFOOD
x0321x BROKEN LEG
x0322x HELPING A FRIEND
x0323x IN HOSPITAL
x0324x FUTUROLOGY
x0325x THE HANDYMAN
x0326x THE HARD-WORKING TILER
x0327x THE FIRING SQUAD
x0328x TAXI TO THE STATION
x0329x THE SAD DEMISE OF THE CAT
x0330x THE UNFUNNNY TOWN MAYOR
x0331x THE BORED WIFE
x0332x THE DOG THAT TALKS IN ITS SLEEP
x0333x THE DEAD HORSE
x0334x THE STATION AT DUNSTER
x0335x THE COUNTRYSIDE RAMBLER
x0336x LITTLE ASTON