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One Hundred Fair-to-Middling Jokes
One Hundred Fair-to-Middling Jokes
One Hundred Fair-to-Middling Jokes
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One Hundred Fair-to-Middling Jokes

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This is a compilation of one hundred (generally inoffensive) jokes, some short, some long.
Each joke is given a title and is numbered.

They vary in length - from very short (a couple of lines) to fairly long (thirty lines plus).

After the main body of jokes there is a section which explains each one for readers who might not have fully understood.

This should be useful for readers who are not native speakers of English - or even readers from other parts of the English-speaking world where the humour of one part may be somewhat incomprehesnible to the other.

There is also a list of the jokes by title, and by number. Some of these sections may be more or less useful according to the format in which the book is viewed.

LanguageEnglish
Release dateMay 21, 2012
ISBN9781476253404
One Hundred Fair-to-Middling Jokes

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    Book preview

    One Hundred Fair-to-Middling Jokes - Ebenezer Jackson-Firefly

    ONE HUNDRED FAIR-TO-MIDDLING JOKES

    Copyright 2012 Ebenezer Jackson-Firefly

    Smashwords Edition

    ISBN: 9781476253404

    http://www.livroy_kimkat.org

    This book should not really be copied as Mr. Jackson-Firefly is living on the fringes of poverty, and he informs us that he would prefer it if the book were purchased rather than be copied and freely distributed. He might thus enjoy a bowl of hot soup now and then with whatever sporadic and sparse income that his literary creation generates. We appreciate your cooperation in helping Mr. Jackson-Firefly continue to eke out a meagre existence as a laughterologist.

    The Editors.

    TEXT OF THE COVER: One Hundred Fair-to-Middling Jokes / Eminently suitable for connoisseurs of mediocrity / Ebenezer Jackson-Firefly

    LIST OF CONTENTS

    1. INTRODUCTION (1% of the book)

    2. CONTENTS: JOKES BY TITLE (6% of the book)

    3. CONTENTS: JOKES 301-400 ACCORDING TO NUMBER (6% of the book)

    The jokes begin here:

    4. ONE HUNDRED JOKES (70% of the book)

    5. DON’T GET IT? THE JOKES EXPLAINED (20% of the book)

    And here the book begins:

    1. INTRODUCTION

    This is the second compendium of jokes by Ebenezer Jackson-Firefly (nom de plume of Ezekiel Jackson-Firefly). His first joke book was published in April 2012 to the bewilderment of many, and resulted in zero sales. Encouraged by this spectacular lack of success, Mr. Jackson-Firefly has rewarded the reading public with a further one hundred jokes.

    Frankly, some of them are so awful that they should never have seen the light of day. And yet... we have found that some of the best jokes didn’t raise a laugh at all with some people, and yet the weakest jokes were thought to be hilarious by others. There’s no accounting for taste, it seems.

    We have added a section ‘Don’t Get It?’ which explains the inner workings of the jokes

    for those readers who may not have seen the humour or understood the punchline.

    Mr. Jackson-Firefly has told us that he has many more jokes in his twenty-drawer birch library-card file, something which we were rather afraid of.

    And that’s all for the moment.

    2. CONTENTS: JOKES BY TITLE (6% of the book)

    A CHARITABLE ACT x0364x

    A CURE FOR INSOMNIA x0363x

    A HOME REPAIRS EMERGENCY x0361x

    A NOT-SO-DIFFICULT CALCULATION x0380x

    A STIFF NECK x0395x

    A VERY SICK PATIENT x0308x

    ACHES AND PAINS x0307x

    BACK TO BASICS x0349x

    BAD HOMEWORK x0375x

    BALD BILLY x0398x

    BOILED CABBAGE x0387x

    BROKEN LEG x0321x

    CARROTS x0384x

    COFFEE x0312x

    COWS x0360x

    DAILY MEDICINE x0310x

    DIZZINESS x0304x

    DOING THE HOUSEWORK x0348x

    DREAMING x0382x

    ENGLISH SPELLING x0359x

    FIRST DAY AT SCHOOL x0385x

    FLY IN THE SOUP – AN UNUSUAL OCCURRENCE x0389x

    FUNNY TASTE x0315x

    FUTUROLOGY x0324x

    GEOGRAPHY QUESTIONS x0374x

    GIVING UP YOUR PLACE ON THE BUS x0344x

    HELPING A FRIEND x0322x

    HUNTING x0370x

    HUNTING WEEVILS x0358x

    IN HOSPITAL x0323x

    IN VINO VERITAS x0342x

    ISLAND x0369x

    KNIGHT OF THE REALM x0378x

    LATE TRAINS x0337x

    LAZY DAUGHTER x0317x

    LIAR x0319x

    LITTLE ASTON HALT x0336x

    LONGEVITY x0313x

    MORE PILLS x0318x

    NERVOUSNESS x0311x

    NEW PLIMSOLLS x0371x

    NO MILK x0305x

    NO SCHOOL IN THE AFTERNOON x0355x

    NO SCHOOL TODAY x0354x

    NOT SLEPT A WINK x0306x

    PARANOIA x0394x

    POPULATION EXPLOSION x0399x

    SCREAMING AND SHOUTING x0391x

    SEAFOOD x0320x

    SICK x0386x

    SNARLER x0367x

    STRANGE WORDS x0368x

    TAXI TO THE STATION x0328x

    THE AGE GAP x0345x

    THE APPLES x0381x

    THE BAD KNEE x0314x

    THE BAGSNATCHER x0340x

    THE BALLOONIST AND THE FISHERMAN x0347x

    THE BLOOD TEST x0352x

    THE BORED WIFE x0331x

    THE CIRCUS JUGGLER x0397x

    THE CLEVER DOG x0365x

    THE COUNTRYSIDE RAMBLER x0335x

    THE DEAD HORSE x0333x

    THE DEERHUNTER x0309x

    THE DELUDED HUSBAND x0346x

    THE DISGUSTING STEW x0390x

    THE DOG THAT TALKS IN ITS SLEEP x0332x

    THE ELEVATED RAILWAY x0338x

    THE EMERGENCY x0400x

    THE EYE TEST x0396x

    THE FAT LADY x0350x

    THE FIRING SQUAD x0327x

    THE HANDYMAN x0325x

    THE HARD-WORKING TILER x0326x

    THE INATTENTIVE PUPIL x0353x

    THE LETTER x0372x

    THE MISSING HORSE x0301x

    THE MOON x0383x

    THE NIGHT SLEEPER x0393x

    THE PENCILS x0376x

    THE PHOTO IN THE HANDBAG x0343x

    THE PILLS x0303x

    THE PIROUETTING DOG x0351x

    THE QUEUE x0379x

    THE SAD DEMISE OF THE CAT x0329x

    THE SICK HUSBAND x0392x

    THE SICK PUPIL x0356x

    THE SLUG x0316x

    THE SPECIAL SOUP x0388x

    THE STATION AT DUNSTER x0334x

    THE SWEETSHOP x0357x

    THE THREE LUMBERJACKS x0339x

    THE UNFUNNNY TOWN MAYOR x0330x

    THE WHOLE TRUTH x0366x

    THIRSTY x0302x

    TOMATO SOUP x0341x

    UNCONVINCING DIAGNOSIS x0362x

    WINNING THE LOTTERY x0373x

    WRONG SPELLING x0377x

    3. CONTENTS: JOKES 301-400 ACCORDING TO NUMBER (6% of the book)

    x0301x THE MISSING HORSE

    x0302x THIRSTY

    x0303x THE PILLS

    x0304x DIZZINESS

    x0305x NO MILK

    x0306x NOT SLEPT A WINK

    x0307x ACHES AND PAINS

    x0308x A VERY SICK PATIENT

    x0309x THE DEERHUNTER

    x0310x DAILY MEDICINE

    x0311x NERVOUSNESS

    x0312x COFFEE

    x0313x LONGEVITY

    x0314x THE BAD KNEE

    x0315x FUNNY TASTE

    x0316x THE SLUG

    x0317x LAZY DAUGHTER

    x0318x MORE PILLS

    x0319x LIAR

    x0320x SEAFOOD

    x0321x BROKEN LEG

    x0322x HELPING A FRIEND

    x0323x IN HOSPITAL

    x0324x FUTUROLOGY

    x0325x THE HANDYMAN

    x0326x THE HARD-WORKING TILER

    x0327x THE FIRING SQUAD

    x0328x TAXI TO THE STATION

    x0329x THE SAD DEMISE OF THE CAT

    x0330x THE UNFUNNNY TOWN MAYOR

    x0331x THE BORED WIFE

    x0332x THE DOG THAT TALKS IN ITS SLEEP

    x0333x THE DEAD HORSE

    x0334x THE STATION AT DUNSTER

    x0335x THE COUNTRYSIDE RAMBLER

    x0336x LITTLE ASTON

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