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    Unchain Your Heart
    Unchain Your Heart
    Unchain Your Heart
    Ebook85 pages1 hour

    Unchain Your Heart

    By Julie White

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Unchain Your Heart
    It was Christmas time. Something happens during the Christmas season, something I’ve never understood. The shops bustle with people buying gifts and food. Decorations hang everywhere you look. Children bounce around, excited and happy. People smile randomly and greet complete strangers. There seems to be some kind of energy that takes over people at this time of year.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherReadOnTime BV
    Release dateJun 2, 2012
    ISBN9781742840789
    Unchain Your Heart

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      Book preview

      Unchain Your Heart - Julie White

      Unchain Your Heart

      Julie White

      Smashwords Edition

      * * * * *

      Unchain Your Heart

      Copyright © 2011 Julie White

      All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

      The information, views, opinions and visuals expressed in this publication are solely those of the author(s) and do not reflect those of the publisher. The publisher disclaims any liabilities or responsibilities whatsoever for any damages, libel or liabilities arising directly or indirectly from the contents of this publication.

      A copy of this publication can be found in the National Library of Australia.

      ISBN: 9781742840789 (pbk.)

      Published by Book Pal

      www.bookpal.com.au

      * * * * *

      Acknowledgements

      I wish to express my gratitude to all the friends, mentors, trainers and coaches who have been in my life during this amazing transformational stage of my life journey. I would like to particularly thank Belinda Herljevich who assisted my physical journey, and the team at ‘The Coaching Institute’ for all their ongoing support, training and coaching which is truly inspirational.

      And special thanks to Danijela Mijic, the most loving, passionate and talented coach. I am blessed you came into my life to so generously challenge my reality and to share your huge heart. I no longer feel alone in the world and I am forever grateful for your contribution to my reclaiming my soul, my heart, my life.

      Most important, my gratitude to Truth itself for awakening me to the love and greatness within.

      * * * * *

      I dedicate this book to the loving memory of

      my brother, Gary, and my grandparents,

      Norman and Rhoda.

      Things do not change; we change

      - Henry David Thoreau

      * * * * *

      Contents

      Waking Up

      Stepping Out

      Stepping Up!

      Down the Rabbit Hole

      Where to Next?

      Who Am I?

      Taking the Leap

      Eyes Open Wide

      Staring Down the Barrel

      Running the Gauntlet

      A Slippery Slope

      Clear as Mud

      Riots and Revelations

      The Way Forward

      A Whole New World

      What’s Next?

      * * * * *

      Chapter 1

      Waking Up

      It was Christmas time. Something happens during the Christmas season, something I’ve never understood. The shops bustle with people buying gifts and food. Decorations hang everywhere you look. Children bounce around, excited and happy. People smile randomly and greet complete strangers. There seems to be some kind of energy that takes over people at this time of year.

      It’s nice. Well, I suppose it would be if I were a part of it. But, as I had done every Christmas for the past ten years or so, I sat on the lounge, small and alone in an empty house; a house far too big for just me and my dog. The joy and goodwill of the season belonged to other people – it never reached me here in my cocoon. I gazed out the window into the blackness of the night. The summer air hung dry and heavy and breathed strength into the loneliness that threatened to suffocate me.

      Christmas beetles tapped on the flyscreen in a vain attempt to get to the light inside. I watched them for a while. They wouldn’t get in. They couldn’t break through; nothing could. No one would – I’d made sure of that. But just to be certain, I pulled myself up off the lounge and limped across to the window.

      I stood for a few minutes, leaning on the wall for support, and looked out into the neighbourhood. Next door, silhouettes of people sat together in their lounge room, twinkling lights on the Christmas tree showering them in smiles of colour. Across the street a soft glow of solar lights lining the path highlighted an inflatable reindeer and sleigh that sat tethered to the lawn. A little boy and his Dad placed a dish of carrots on the front doorstep. Next door to them icicle lights swung from the eaves of the house, and from an open window Christmas music floated through the air toward me.

      I slammed the window shut and turned away. I heaved and dragged my aching body back to the lounge and collapsed onto it, exhausted by the effort. A searing pain shot through my knee and I sighed and consoled myself with my usual glass of wine.

      There’s got to be more to my life than this, I thought to myself. It was getting harder and harder to numb the pain. Not just the physical pain, but the constant aching emptiness that consumed me.

      My dog Murphy was laying on the lounge next to me. She lifted her head and placed her chin on my lap, looking up at me with mournful brown eyes.

      At least I’ve got you, I told her. But she was sick. Cancer, the vet said. I patted her gently; she leaned into my hand and gave a little whimper. It was as if she knew she was about to leave me.

      Murphy died that Christmas. With her she took the last long term connection to another living being I had. My best friend of fourteen years and my only real family had left me – alone. And with nothing but the overwhelming silence of solitude I sat, day after day, night after night, staring into the void, unable to function.

      I knew something had to change, I just didn’t know what. I cried every day. I hated my life, hated myself. But for the endless pain, I felt dead inside. Sometimes I wished I were dead on the outside too. I knew I couldn’t handle my life as it was for another forty or so years – I knew I wouldn’t survive it.

      Truth is – I had hit absolute rock bottom. I was awfully obese and desperately unhappy. I was unhealthy, unfit, and in constant physical pain with a bad knee. I couldn’t sustain relationships, and had no friends. My career was in the toilet; I didn’t get on with my colleagues and was discontented in my job. My mother had cut me off and wanted no more to do with me and I had lost contact with all other family. I was totally alone. I had no one to help me, no one cared enough. It felt like no one

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