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It's The Way You Tell 'Em: Laughter The Best Medicine
It's The Way You Tell 'Em: Laughter The Best Medicine
It's The Way You Tell 'Em: Laughter The Best Medicine
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It's The Way You Tell 'Em: Laughter The Best Medicine

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the whole essence of this book is about laughter and how to make people laugh. for those who aspire to be a standup comedian it is all here. the way to form your jokes to get the audience in the mood and then to continue with lokger tales when your audience is more receptive. it concludes with a variety of ways to find venues in which to perform. if you don't want to do that then simply have a good laugh at the jokes in here and use them in social gatherings. the author has had years of experience in radio broadcasting not only in the production teams of some of the funniest broadcast shows but also as a presenter and commentator. even in his later years he can still keep an audience in fits with both his selection of jokes and the way he tells 'em. An ideal christmas or birthday present.

LanguageEnglish
PublisherPeter Kent
Release dateOct 8, 2012
ISBN9781301753338
It's The Way You Tell 'Em: Laughter The Best Medicine

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    Book preview

    It's The Way You Tell 'Em - Peter Kent

    It’s the way you tell ‘em

    Laughter

    The best medicine

    By Peter Kent

    Published by Peter Kent at Smashwords

    Copyright 2012 Peter Kent

    All Rights Reserved.

    Having been in the laughing business for over 60 years I decided that It’s time to put my expertise in the stand up comedy business into print.

    If you want people gathering round you for the latest in fun then here is the moment to fill your chuckle buckles with a host of laughter.

    I have kept people amused or laughing outright ever since I can remember. From having comedy parts on the West End stage to providing input to radio shows such as The Goon Show, The Ted Ray Show and Life with the Lyons.

    I also ran Forces Broadcasting Stations in Iraq, Palestine, Egypt and Tripolitania where I built and established a Broadcasting Station from scratch.

    I have more recently taken comedy roles in Gilbert and Sullivan Operas and am still doing stand up comedy spots locally. So I reckon I’m well placed to give tips to any aspiring stand-up artist.

    So! Let’s get cracking and start the fun. Get your audience with you as fast as you can with a short joke that gets a quick laugh to get ‘em in the mood.

    A tourist goes into a country pub and sees a lion’s head mounted on a large wooden shield hanging over the bar.

    He says What a wonderful trophy. Is there a story behind that?

    The guv’nor says That lion killed my wife!

    Ooh!He answers, Was that on safari?

    No! It fell on her head!

    That should certainly get you your first laugh so now follow through with another to keep ‘em laughing.

    A blind man was standing at a pedestrian crossing waiting to cross the road when a dog trotted up, cocked its leg and piddled all down his trouser leg.

    He put his hand into his pocket and pulled out a biscuit which he offered to the dog.

    A passer by rushed up and said Hey! Wait a minute. That dog’s just piddled all down your pants and you’re offering him a biscuit. What’s the idea?

    I’m checking to see which end his mouth is so I can kick him up the ass!

    Now. Having used those as openers I can guarantee that you will have your audience well and truly hooked.

    So let’s continue the fun with another.

    A doctor had just finished a check-up on a lady patient.

    You’ll be pleased to know that you are in very good health and I can confirm that you are pregnant.He said.

    She shrieked. No. No. I can’t be! You must be wrong. I cannot possibly be ! Tell me it’s not true! Oh please! please!

    Calm down dear.He said. You’re married aren’t you?

    Yes. But my husband doesn’t make love to me like that.She replied.

    "How does he make love to you then? Asked the doctor.

    He makes love to me with his eyesShe replied.

    The doctor thought for a moment and then said. I can only suggest that he must be cockeyed!

    You’ve now got ‘em rolling so go on.

    A 97 year old lady came into the lounge in a residential home with her right clenched fist held in the air.

    If anyone can tell me what I’m holding in my fist they can have sex with me tonight.She said.

    An old man in the corner completely disinterested shouted An elephant!

    She looked over at him and then yelled. Near enough!

    We can come up with a longer one now that they are all on your side. So here goes.

    A husband and wife had been married for 15 years but things weren’t going well so they went to see a marriage guidance counsellor.

    He sat them down in chairs opposite his desk and asked them how he could help.

    As

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