Leaving I Behind

LEAVING I BEHIND

Following Your Path from Selfish to Selfless

Book Five

Copyright: 2003

By: K. C. Boone, MSFE

Publisher: The Scribed Light

ISBN: 978-1-939634-23-8

Smashwords Edition

All rights reserved. No part of the book may be reproduced in any form, except for inclusion of brief quotations in a review, without permission in writing from the author or publisher.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1 - The Fork In The Road

Chapter 2 - The Journey Takes On A New Light

Chapter 3 - Boredom

Chapter 4 - Creating Your Life

Chapter 5 - One For All And All For One

Chapter 6 - Walking In The Light

Chapter 7 – Growing In The Light

Chapter 8 - Living The Dream

Chapter 9 - A Higher Purpose

Chapter 10 - The Leap Of Faith

Chapter 11 - Unconditional Love

Chapter 12 - Just As I Am

Chapter 13 - The New You

Chapter 14 - Where Do We Go From Here

Conclusion

Bibliography

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my Mother. Your contributions are without end and your words of wisdom provide inspiration always.

Acknowledgment

This book demonstrates the importance of selflessly serving others. Much of what I have learned is from those who have selflessly given of their time and talents to offer guidance for those of us who follow after them, even if the paths are not the same.

It is by their example that we are strengthened and inspired to start and continue on the journey to our true selves. Without their gifts, our journeys would be filled with even more unanswered questions and trepidation. By their example, we follow knowing that the journey is one of great discovery and excitement.

Introduction

Every decision creates another set of choices. You have arrived at yet another crossroad and have to choose your next direction. You carefully analyze the choices and ponder the consequences and experiences associated with each choice. You seek guidance and internal direction. You know that the next step will be a big one and you are not about to make the choice lightly. You are going to take your time – your next move will put you on the path to greater wisdom than ever before. You realize the enormity of the decision, but look at all possibilities. You imagine yourself on both paths and realize that only one path will bring you what you truly desire.

You make your choice and go forward. You know that you will never be the same and that your life is headed toward the direction inspired by your soul. You hesitate to consider where you have been and how far you have come. The experiences of the past have brought you to this point and will help carry you forward. Choosing to proceed and not retreat will bring you the joy and happiness that you have sought and have been previously unable to find.

The road ahead will be wonderful and exciting. You like a challenge and are ready to get started. The uncertainty ahead brings to the surface emotions that you haven’t felt in years. The anticipation is causing you to feel as if you’ll leap out of your skin. You can’t wait to know what the future holds. You wish that you could be magically transported to the next level without having to earn the lesson, but you know that you’d miss something vitally important to the whole picture.

The days of guessing about what lies ahead are gone and the days of experiencing the fullness of life are soon to be realized. The future is now and you are on the road to creating what will move from now to then. The future quickly becomes history when we move toward the light. You can’t see the future while focused on the past, so you are seeing nothing but possibilities and creation. Creativity is in the future not in the past. You realize that you have a tremendous impact on your life and the lives of others, and are ready to make the best possible contributions of effort to both.

With your dreams clearly in your view, you see that there is nothing standing in the way of all that you desire. Let the journey continue.

Chapter 1 - The Fork in the Road

Your soul’s journey has taken you to the point where you realize that you are a part of the very one and only God. You have come to the fork in the road, where you take what you’ve learned so far and choose to go forward toward greater spiritual maturity or choose to languish in what you’ve learned for a while. This is a difficult choice, but a very important choice as it will determine all the other choices that you make from this point forward.

Let’s take a look at the choices and imagine the possibilities of each. First, if we choose to languish in our learning and expand our experiential knowledge of the lessons, then we can find a depth of maturity. By spending some time gaining further experience, we can become more firm in the foundations of the lessons learned. For instance, if we learn to be kind, we can get the minor experience or the major experience. The minor experience is just enough to bring an understanding of the concept for our practical use. The major experience brings forth more experiences, which give us a far greater understanding of the concept. If I choose to only experience love once, then I do have an understanding of the concept. If I choose to love more than once, then the understanding grows to new levels, which offer me the opportunity to experience love in many more ways. (The categories of minor and major are just for simplification and in no way relate to the quality of the experiences.)

The alternative is to take what you’ve learned and proceed to the next lesson on the path to spiritual maturity. If you are satisfied that you have enough knowledge to proceed, then perhaps the next lesson will offer you greater insight into higher elements of love. If I choose to experience the love of the spirit, then this brings to light another entirely different element of love and can bring profound learning and spiritual experiences. This will change our focus from feeling love or being loved to actually loving as God does. This will take us on a path of seeing love as God does – not for what we receive, but for the beauty of giving. We imagine that we can love as God does, but we really don’t even have a clue.

So, what’s it going to be? Which path will you take? You search your soul for the direction that it gives. Your instincts are to progress as you feel confident that you have learned the lesson previously taught. So you choose to take the road sure to be filled with greater unknowns and more uncertainty. Every new experience causes us to be nervous, but you know deep inside that your path must proceed in the direction of increased maturity. You muster the courage to proceed, envision the path ahead and take the first step. You ask for God’s guidance all along the path, knowing that only He can give you what you need to experience fully the desires of your soul.

You are increasingly aware of the reduction of your own self importance. As you progress, you see yourself becoming dimmer and your influence of others becoming brighter. You are starting to walk in the light of God. Your path is one of great discovery and inspiration. Your greatest discovery is that you realize more and more that you are not here for your own purposes, but are the messenger for the common good. You walk in the light of the knowledge that your selfishness can no longer guide your path. You see that you are but a cog in the wheel of the greater good. You see yourself as the carrier of the wisdom. You see yourself as a purveyor of God’s love and wisdom.

This is disturbing to you. You can’t seem to let go of what has always been, yet you see how it is foolish to cling to things that only bring selfish pleasures. You struggle to see the totality of the All, while still living in the past. You struggle and find yourself caught as if between two worlds. You begin to ask the questions that you never even imagined. You think first of the effect of your actions before being so bold as to take any actions. What are my motives? Have I chosen selfishly? Who is to gain by what I now do? Am I fulfilling my purpose with the actions that I take? A new person is starting to emerge from the old skin of the past. You see yourself shedding layers of self that have for so long been your primary focus. You begin to see people for the souls they are. You begin to see behavior as an expression of the person and not as the person.

Just as God sees us as the souls that we are, we begin to see behavior as it is. We see that behavior is a person’s actions which come forth in response to some inner thoughts. We suddenly understand that all are just souls trying to make the most of the experience of life. Whether the behavior is liked or disliked, it is simply behavior and we are not to judge the choices of others. We behave as we do based on years of experience just as others do the same. We cannot see the reasons behind the behaviors, so our efforts to understand will fail if we focus on the behavior and not the person. If we understand that everyone is a soul seeking to live their lives to the fullest, we begin to see that we are really no different from all others. In this way, we begin to see that we are a part of the All just as everyone is.

Once we understand that we are part of the All, then we begin to realize that the purpose of the All is far greater than anything we can ever imagine. Living to fulfill my selfish purpose keeps me on the fringe of the All, and never lets me inside for the greater sight of the All. We are part of the All that is God. We can choose to be closer or further away, and both choices are ok. If we see that the selfish purpose is no longer fulfilling, then we move ourselves outside of ourselves and begin to see that we are drawing nearer the center of it all.

Imagine that we are hanging out on the outer circles of the world – detached and selfish choosing to satisfy the basic needs of our own desires. Until we choose to move closer to the center, we will remain where we are and will continue to live for the I without making any progress toward the center. By choosing to let go of I, we take a magic leap inward and begin to see things outside of ourselves. In much the same way that a baby learns he is not all there is, we begin to realize that we are not the very purpose of life. Our desires are not the reason that God created the universe. If we are to obtain oneness with God, we must let go of self and move toward the All.

The All sounds very ominous and mysterious. It is very intriguing to imagine that everything comes together at a single point if we choose to look deeply enough. The world was not created for the purpose of one, but for the All. Realizing our full potential to affect the All brings forth a new life experience and focus far different from any previously imagined. We always knew that there was the All, but never really gave much thought to it. It was beyond our comprehension, and thinking about it didn’t seem to serve a purpose. We never even imagined the vastness of our own actions just within our inner circle, much less the overall effects on the All. Just as a baby has no concept for his affecting the lives of others, he merely focuses on self and how others can affect his life.

Spiritual maturity, just as physical maturity, brings a new insight that takes our focus away from self. There are many layers of spiritual maturity and honestly, I can’t even begin to understand even one or two at this point. I am learning as I go that there is far more to God than I ever dared imagine. It seems that the more that I think I know, the less I really do, in the grand scheme. All that I really know is that my quest to know more is real, and causes me to seek to know as much as I can absorb. This life may only offer me two or three layers, but even if I only get three, then I will be in a far greater place than I was when I began this life. I use the analogy of layers, as it is how I see that spirituality unfolds.

The image of the Milky Way galaxy and the alignment of the planets around the sun is an image that I view as being similar to how we revolve around God. Maybe the revolving or the actual layout is different, but it does offer a simple analogy for me to grasp. If we use this analogy and assume that the planet’s distance from the sun is equivalent to our spiritual maturity, with oneness being the center, on which planet would you imagine that you currently reside? If we assume that Pluto is the basic level of spirituality as it is the farthest from the sun (as far as we know,) then we assume that all souls start on Pluto and progress toward the sun. How many lifetimes does it take to get to the sun? I’m sure that I don’t know, but at the rate of my current progression, I think that perhaps it will be many.

I would imagine that spiritual masters are much closer to the sun. Maybe masters live on Venus or Mercury. Maybe spiritual guides are closer. I really have no idea at this point and all the levels of attainment, so I won’t speculate any further, lest my imagination run absolutely wild. At this point, we’ll assume that we are on the outskirts of the action, based on the level of our current exploration. What does it take for me to move inward toward the center? It occurs to me that the center is the All, so I must leave I behind and move ever near the All. If I drop the I at Pluto, do I magically jump over to the next planet and live there for a while? Are there levels of leaving I that must be achieved before we jump to the next planet? At what point have I sufficiently left the I behind, so that I proceed to the next level? As you can see by my examples, I am very goal oriented and must see things as levels of achievement progressing toward goal attainment. It works for me and I hope that it works for you also. We communicate what we understand and not necessarily what is most correct. If my example is not working for you, picture your own example and feel free to let your imagination run wild.

The three steps that I see so far in my spiritual maturity are these: Finding God; knowing God; and Being God. (Don’t get so freaked out – being God means fully realizing that you are a part of the whole and not desirous of taking over the world.) Certainly, there are more layers, but I haven’t seen enough to further differentiate them. I’m certain that there are more, such as being God partially and being God fully. Being God, in theory, is lower than being God partially, but is higher than hearing about being God. Wow, we can make a hundred layers just with a simple effort. There may be thousands or more or less, I just don’t know.

I was slipping around watching TV last night. PBS’s NOVA was presenting a documentary about string theory