Living Daily With Adult ADD or ADHD: 365 Tips o the Day

by Douglas A Puryear MD

Copyright © 2013 by Douglas A Puryear MD

Smashwords Edition

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

ADHD Strategies Blog.

.

Living Daily With Adult ADD or ADHD: 365 Tips o the Day

. . .

Also by Douglas A Puryear MD

Your Life Can Be Better: using strategies for Adult ADD/ADHD

Helping People in Crisis: A Practical Family-Oriented Approach to Effective Crisis Intervention. . .

Digital Formatting by Web Niobium

© August 2013.

. . .

This Is Not An Introduction, just a few things you need to know:

1. These tips are from the blog for the book Your Life Can Be Better, using strategies for Adult ADD/ADHD, hereafter known as the book.

2. The tips are intended for you to read one a day, to find strategies to make your life better. They may also help you see what life with ADD is like and that you are not the only one.

3. I use the term ADD for both ADD and ADHD.

4. We start off with the basics from Your Life Can Be Better and then forge ahead.

That's it. Good living!

Your Life Can Be Better.

Best wishes,

doug

ADHD Tip o the Day blog

. . .

Lists --- ADD Tip o the Day 1

The to-do list is one of the essential strategies for ADD, but we need to learn how to use it. First, we need to limit the list to five items; otherwise we will feel overwhelmed and confused. We won't be able to decide where to start. This is not good.

So, make a list as long as you wish, and then make your short list of five. Work from that.

Then we need to make a habit of looking at our to-do list several times a day. There are strategies to help with this too.

. . .

Focus --- ADD Tip o the Day 2

Focus on one thing.

Put everything else on your to-do list so that you're not carrying it in your head. Then put your list aside. This helps prevent feeling overwhelmed.

You can work from your list of five. You may need to break some of those things into smaller steps. Then you need to revise your list so it's down to five again.

Then – pick ONE.

. . .

Small Steps --- ADD Tip o the Day 3

If a task seems daunting, break it into smaller steps; consider each step a separate task, tackle one step at a time.

If I need to do my taxes I can't get started, but if I need to find last year's checks I can probably do that, especially if I get my wife to help.

Lisa on life with ADD part 1

. . .

Willpower? --- ADD Tip o the day 4

I don't have much willpower.

That's one of the reasons that I need strategies.

But I think another reason is that willpower, even if I had it, is not a very effective way to improve focus, concentration, or attention. (Couldn't hurt though.)

Thanksgiving today. This day will test the little willpower I have. I do have a few strategies: Drink water. Leave something on the plate. No seconds.

I'll be thankful if they work.

I also read that brushing your teeth with the non-dominant hand for two weeks will strengthen your willpower!??

I don't know if that works but my left hand is much more coordinated after only two days.

Lisa on life with ADD part 2

. . .

The Hard Part --- ADD Tip o the Day 5

If I can break the task into small steps, then I need to decide where to start, not easy for us with ADD.

Strategy: Do the hard part first.

If I do the hard part, then it's done.

It's no longer hanging over my head.

There's less reason to procrastinate.

The rest is easy.

Do The Hard Part First

Lisa on life with ADD part 3

. . .

Appointment Book --- ADD Tip o the Day 6

The two foundations of coping with ADD are the to-list and the appointment book. Both of them will work if, and only if, you learn how to use them. Of course, these days, they may both be on your smart phone or something, but whatever - you need to have them with you at all times (OK, wise guy, maybe not in the shower).

This is so important that if you need to change your whole wardrobe so that you always have pockets, it will be worth it. You've already realized that jotting things down on little scraps of paper doesn't work.

Then you need to make the habit of looking at the book and the list many times a day; five at least. And I need an appointment book that shows me the month at a glance, so I can see what's going on, though maybe a week at a time would work.

Then, I need to be sure to write legibly, not a small challenge – this needs to become a habit for the appointment book and the to-do list, even if I don't do it anywhere else. This will not be an issue if you're using technology for these.

There are more strategies to make the book and the list work for you.

Your life will be easier.

Summary:

1. Appointment book and to-do list 2. With you at all times 3. Legible 4. Check five times a day. 5. Strategies

. . .

The Principle --- ADD Tip o the Day 7

I believe that for every problem there is a solution, although I know that that's not actually true. But I think it's mostly true, and I think that this is the best thing to believe, even if it's not true. Because if you can identify a problem, and set your mind to solve it, you generally will come up with a solution.

The principle is: identify a problem, make a strategy, make it a rule, make it a habit.

Example: I keep driving off with the gas hose still stuck in my tank. Not good. A problem.

Magpie suggested the strategy of getting a holder to hold my keys onto the gas pump. But I didn't need the holder, I can just hook the keys on the latch of the gas tank door. A new habit.

It works!

Next principle: when we make the rule, we will frequently mess up. We need to be tolerant with ourself and just stick with it. It will become a habit.

Next principle; we are all different and we need to make strategies for work for us, individually.

. . .

Criticisms --- ADD Tip o the Day 8

I'm persistent; you're stubborn.

I'm decisive; you're impulsive.

I'm laid back; you're sloppy.

Other: You're just apathetic and indifferent!

Me: I don't care.

I mess up a lot, and I get a lot of criticism. I need to take an honest look at the criticism, and decide if I need to apologize and if I need to try to change something.

Trying harder won't work; I'll need to make a strategy if I do decide to change.

I need to realize that the criticism is about my behavior; it doesn't mean that I'm a bad or worthless person.

. . .

Do It Now! --- ADD Tip o the Day 9

Do it now – this is hard, but just go ahead and do it.

Do it now instead of putting it on my to-do list, instead of saying, I need to do this later. or any other form of procrastination.

When in doubt, just do it now.

. . .

The Very Short List --- ADD Tip o the Day 10

I use a lot of lists - the long list, the short list, the list of five, the list of three, but the most important list right now is the list of one.

I need to get this tip written. Now. That's it.

I have a lot of things to do today.

No! I don't.

That thinking will get me feeling overwhelmed and I'll be paralyzed.

No. I have this one thing to do. This tip. Right now.

When I finish this, I can look at my list of five and find that I have one thing to do, again.

Just one thing- that's all, the list of one.

. . .

ADD & Frustrations --- ADD Tip o the Day 11

I get frustrated a lot - and easily.

Those frustrations add up, but some of them I can do something about- losing my keys, can't find the other sock in the morning, drive off with the gas hose.

The first step is recognizing that it's not just the way life is; it is A Problem.

. . .

Excerpt --- ADD Tip o the Day 12

Here's an excerpt from the book –Your Life Can Be Better:

Ch. 3 - Our focus center

Our focus center is different. This is the hypothetical spot in our brain that has to be turned on in order for us to focus our attention on something. Our focus centers simply don't turn on like people's without ADD (or ADHD).

Our lack of focus is our primary problem and the source of many of our difficulties, like procrastination, trouble setting priorities, trouble dealing with time, trouble finishing projects, perfectionism, and the inevitable demoralization. We have trouble starting something, staying with it and not getting distracted. We drift into dead ends and into unnecessary and fruitless pursuits and time wasters. All of this is due to our focus center not being turned on when we need it.

Paradoxically, sometimes we have extreme focus. If our focus center is turned on, we can focus – we can really focus! This can be good; we can really accomplish something if our focus center is turned on. But we can have trouble shifting to something else when we need to.

There are things that will turn on our focus center.

. . .

The Keys --- ADD Tip o the Day 13

In Your Life Can Be Better, I used losing my keys as the main example of ADD and the principle - problem, strategy, rule, habit. When my wife came up with Your keys always go on the front table, and I stopped losing them three times a week, it made a big difference in my life.

But first, we had to recognize that it was A Problem, and not just the way life is.

Identify a problem, think of a strategy, make a rule, make it a habit.

. . .

More Keys --- ADD Tip o the Day 14

A patient called today to cancel her appointment.

She had locked herself out of the house; her purse and keys and cell phone were locked inside.

I guess she was calling from the neighbors.

I think everybody does this, and everybody locks their keys in the car, too, but if we have ADD, it's just more often.

Ever since a bad key-locked-in-the-car experience on the reservation, I carry a spare key in my billfold, which is always with me.

And a spare house key is buried in a pill bottle at a certain place in our yard, plus our neighbors have one.

Unfortunately, my wife's electronic car key is very expensive and very bulky; need to figure a new strategy.

. . .

Goals --- ADD Tip o the Day 15

Yesterday I sat down and wrote down my goals, my long term goals. I find it useful to do this every few months. Now comes the hard part;

I need to look at each goal and ask myself,

"If I was really serious about this,

what would I need to be doing differently?"

. . .

Do It Right --- ADD Tip o the Day 16

Because I have ADD, my experience leads me to believe that nothing I do will turn out right. So I don't want to put too much time or effort into it. So I rush through it sloppily and do it half way. So it doesn't turn out right. Just like I predicted.

There's an old saying:

If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?

The rule: Do It Right.

. . .

The Slogan --- ADD Tip o the Day 17

Let's put them together now.

This is my best slogan.

I have trained myself so that I think of it whenever I'm deciding what to do next.

Do it now, Do it right, Do the hard part first.

This gets me moving and gets it done and out of the way.

The hard part first tells me where to start.

. . .

I Don't Have To --- ADD Tip o the Day 18

I need to avoid the words have to and should; I try not to think them or say them.

They sound like an adult giving a child orders. They automatically bring up resistance and make me feel burdened.

I need to use need to and other phrases instead.

'It would be good for me to', 'It would be best for me to', 'I want to', etc.

. . .

The Book and The List, Summary --- ADD Tip o the Day 19

All of the ADD books suggest that you start with an appointment book and a to-do list.

That's good advice.

But they are useless if you don't know how to use them.

I've trained myself to look at my appointment book several times a day, and my to-do list more often.

And I need to make a list of five or less or else the to-do list is overwhelming instead of helpful.

And they all need to legible.

I use an appointment book and index cards, that all fit in my shirt pocket; these days many people use their smart phones or other electronic devices.

Put these together with the principle – problem, strategy, rule, habit – and you're off to a good start.

. . .

More on Focus --- ADD Tip o the Day 20

I said that our focus center is different. Most people are able to focus on something if it's important; not us.

Our focus center is turned on if something is personally interesting to us, or novel, or challenging, or has an immediate deadline and a heavy penalty attached.

That's four ways we can focus, and they are important to know. Something being important, or being necessary, is not one of them.

We can learn strategies to turn on our focus center; some of these involve playing mind games with ourself.

When our attention center is turned on, we often can focus better than other people, even hyper focus, but then we may have difficulty unfocusing and shifting gears when needed.

Again:

1. personally interesting

2. novel

3. challenging

4. immediate deadline and heavy penalty

. . .

Finishing --- ADD Tip o the Day 21

Finishing is a big problem. We start full of vinegar and enthusiasm. We get near the end and we stall, out of steam. The novelty has worn off; we have mastered it and the challenge is gone. Maybe there is no heavy immediate deadline.

Our attention center is no longer turned on.

Maybe our perfectionism is turned on, and we're afraid it won't turn out as well as we'd imagined. Maybe we're diverted by some other project that seems novel, interesting, challenging.

Anyway, this project just drifts away, and it never gets finished.

Strategy:

Before I start a project, I ask myself Why?

What are the benefits of doing this project and what are the consequences if I don't?

Is this the best use of my time?

A lot of times, I decide not to start. Then I don't need to worry about finishing.

I'm tired of wasting time on projects that I don't finish, and also on projects that turn out to have been a waste of time even if I do finish them.

Your Life Can Be Better – I was determined to finish the book, and I did!

. . .

Perception --- ADD Tip o the Day 22

Perception, attitude, reframing, self talk – they all run together. The new-agers say that we create our own reality, reality is in the eye of the beholder.

I have a choice of what I say to myself, and I can choose my attitude, and I can have a big effect on how I feel and how the day goes for me.

If I say I have too much to do today.

then I have too much to do.

If I say, I have a lot to do today.

then I will have a lot to do.

If I say, I need to do this one thing now. When I finish it I will do something else.

then I will have one thing to do.

It's my choice; what I choose to say to myself, how I choose to frame it.

Coping with ADD keeps life interesting, doesn't it.

. . .

How To Make A Habit --- ADD Tip o the Day 23

Once we make a rule, we will have many slips. We need to accept that– even though we have ADD, we are, after all, only human- and just stick with it. It won't not help to criticize ourself, we just need to try to do better next time.

Then the rule will become a habit; we won't need to remember it or put effort into it, and life will be better.

. . .

Reframing --- ADD Tip o the Day 24

Reframing means to change the way I perceive or label something.

That's related to self talk, the things I say to myself in my head.

I can say I have too much work to do today, or I can say I'm grateful to have a job.

Dr. Goldblum says we can reframe nagging as loving suggestions.

I can choose to think that coming up with new things for my blog is a burden, or I can see it as an opportunity to exercise my creative self, expand my vision, and hopefully to help others. To say nothing of selling books.

Cognitive therapy teaches that changing our self