Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating: Mindful Eating Program for Healing Your Relationship with Food & Your Body
()
About this ebook
Do you have a secret? Are you distressed about your eating? Do you sometimes eat more food than most other people would eat under similar circumstances? Do you sometimes feel like you can't stop eating, or can't control how much, or what you're eating? Do you eat large amounts of food even when you're not hungry? Do you sometimes eat more rapidly than normal? Do you eat until you feel uncomfortably full? Do you eat alone because you're embarrassed by how much you eat? Do you ever feel disgusted with yourself, depressed, or really guilty after you eat?
These are symptoms of binge eating. Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating was written for you.
Some people call their problem with binge eating emotional eating, food addiction, or compulsive overeating. When binge eating occurs at least once a week on average for three months (without compensatory behaviors such as vomiting), it is called Binge Eating Disorder, or BED. If you think you may have BED, please consult with an eating disorder therapist for an assessment.
If you struggle with binge eating or BED, you are not alone. BED is by far the most prevalent eating disorder. Three and a half percent of women and two percent of men suffer from Binge Eating Disorder during their lifetime. In comparison, anorexia and bulimia each affect 0.6% of the population. Despite its prevalence, BED remains cloaked in secrecy and shame. Less than half of its sufferers seek therapy for their eating disorder. However, 30% of those seeking weight loss treatments have BED.
Weight cycling is also common because of alternating binge eating and restrictive dieting. Cultural weight stigma and internalized body dissatisfaction perpetuate the problem. However, it is important to note that not everyone who is overweight binges and not everyone who binges is overweight.
Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating offers a step-by-step process for self-discovery and healing your relationship with food and your body. You'll learn new ways to manage the physical, emotional, and environmental stresses you encounter each day without bingeing. You'll finally understand the reasons you binge and how to better address your needs. Instead of trying follow rigid rules created by experts, you'll become the expert on you. You'll relearn how to listen to your body to determine when, what, and how much you need to eat. Eating will become pleasurable again, free of bingeing or guilt. You'll discover that you can enjoy food and nourish your body at the same time. More important, you will learn how to use your energy to care for yourself fully and live the vibrant life you crave.
What is mindful eating—and how can it help? Mindful eating is an ancient mindfulness practice with profound modern applications. Mindfulness is simply awareness of the present moment without judgment. When you become aware of your physical state, your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions as they are in the here and now, you increase your ability to care for yourself instead of turning to food.
People with binge eating have a tendency to engage in "dichotomous" thought patterns—all or nothing, black or white, good or bad—that become destructive when they make impulsive, automatic decisions about eating, relationships, and life management. Throughout Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating, we introduce specific skills, strategies, and techniques to help you find the middle path or "the grey areas" in-between the extremes.
Mindfulness is also effective for noticing the judgmental, critical thoughts that keep you stuck in painful patterns. A key aspect of this program is learning to cultivate a self-care voice to replace your ineffective thoughts and gently guide you toward decisions that create a bigger, more vibrant life.
Read more from Michelle May M.D.
Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat: A Mindful Eating Program to Break Your Eat-Repent-Repeat Cycle Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat With Diabetes: A Mindful Eating Program for Thriving with Prediabetes or Diabetes Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsEat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Students: A Mindful Eating Program to Fuel the Life You Crave Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related to Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating
Related ebooks
Intuitive Eating: A System That Works to Develop a Positive Relationship With Food. Weight Loss Without Dieting. Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Diet Survivor's Handbook: 60 Lessons in Eating, Acceptance and Self-Care Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBeginners Intuitive Eating Guide Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFood Addiction: Overcoming your Addiction to Sugar, Junk Food, and Binge Eating: Eating Disorders Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFood Junkies: The Truth About Food Addiction Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Nourish: How to Heal Your Relationship with Food, Body, and Self Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsIntuitive Eating: 30 Intuitive Eating Tips & Strategies For A Healthy Body & Mind Today!: The Blokehead Success Series Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFulfilled: Let Go of Shame, Embrace Your Body, and Eat the Food You Love Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsEating Myself Crazy: How I Made Peace with Food (And How You Can Too) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe F*ck It Diet: Eating Should Be Easy Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Skinny Thinking: Five Revolutionary Steps to Permanently Heal Your Relationship With Food, Weight, and Your Body Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Guide to Peaceful Eating: The Body, Mind and Spirit Guide to Making Peace with Your Body and Food Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFrom the First Bite: A Complete Guide to Recovery from Food Addiction Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Food Freedom: Breaking Free of Problematic Eating; a 12 Week Program Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsNaturally Thin: Lasting Weight Loss without Dieting Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Overweight Mind Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Anti-Diet Workbook: Break the Diet Cycle, Practice Intuitive Eating, and Live with Total Food Freedom Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMidlife Eating Disorders: Your Journey to Recovery Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Skinny Thinking Daily Thoughts Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsYou Can Drop It!: How I Dropped 100 Pounds Enjoying Carbs, Cocktails & Chocolate–And You Can Too! Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Shift: 7 Powerful Mindset Changes for Lasting Weight Loss Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFood Addiction: Healing Day by Day: Daily Affirmations Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Happiness Diet: Good Mood Food Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsParting Is Such Sweet Sorrow: Saying Goodbye to an Eating Problem: How to Change Your Relationship with Food Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Fix for Cravings: One(S) That Didn’t Work, and Now One Which Works Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsShrink Yourself: Break Free from Emotional Eating Forever Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Self-Improvement For You
The Alchemist: A Graphic Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Don't Believe Everything You Think: Why Your Thinking Is The Beginning & End Of Suffering Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Big Book of 30-Day Challenges: 60 Habit-Forming Programs to Live an Infinitely Better Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Self-Care for People with ADHD: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Prioritize You! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A Child Called It: One Child's Courage to Survive Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are so You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Mastery of Self: A Toltec Guide to Personal Freedom Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Think and Grow Rich (Illustrated Edition): With linked Table of Contents Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Healing the Shame That Binds You Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Four Loves Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: Follow Them and People Will Follow You Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Codependence and the Power of Detachment: How to Set Boundaries and Make Your Life Your Own Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Stolen Life: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Art of Witty Banter: Be Clever, Quick, & Magnetic Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5You're Not Dying You're Just Waking Up Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Reviews for Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating - Michelle May M.D.
INTRODUCTION
Do you have a secret? Are you distressed about your eating? Do you sometimes eat more food than most other people would eat under similar circumstances? Do you sometimes feel like you can’t stop eating, or can’t control how much, or what you’re eating? Do you eat large amounts of food even when you’re not hungry? Do you sometimes eat more rapidly than normal? Do you eat until you feel uncomfortably full? Do you eat alone because you’re embarrassed by how much you eat? Do you ever feel disgusted with yourself, depressed, or really guilty after you eat?
These are symptoms of binge eating. Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating was written for you.
Some people call their problem with binge eating emotional eating, food addiction, or compulsive overeating. When binge eating occurs at least once a week on average for three months (without compensatory behaviors such as vomiting), it is called Binge Eating Disorder, or BED. If you think you may have BED, please consult with an eating disorder therapist for an assessment.
If you struggle with binge eating or BED, you are not alone. BED is by far the most prevalent eating disorder. Three and a half percent of women and two percent of men suffer from Binge Eating Disorder during their lifetime. In comparison, anorexia and bulimia each affect 0.6% of the population. Despite its prevalence, BED remains cloaked in secrecy and shame. Less than half of its sufferers seek therapy for their eating disorder. However, 30% of those seeking weight loss treatments have BED.
Weight cycling is also common because of alternating binge eating and restrictive dieting. Cultural weight stigma and internalized body dissatisfaction perpetuate the problem. However, it is important to note that not everyone who is overweight binges and not everyone who binges is overweight.
Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating offers a step-by-step process for self-discovery and healing your relationship with food and your body. You’ll learn new ways to manage the physical, emotional, and environmental stresses you encounter each day without bingeing. You’ll finally understand the reasons you binge and how to better address your needs. Instead of trying follow rigid rules created by experts, you’ll become the expert on you. You’ll relearn how to listen to your body to determine when, what, and how much you need to eat. Eating will become pleasurable again, free of bingeing or guilt. You’ll discover that you can enjoy food and nourish your body at the same time. More important, you will learn how to use your energy to care for yourself fully and live the vibrant life you crave.
Perhaps not surprisingly, both of us (Michelle and Kari) struggled with binge eating earlier in our lives, fueling our passion for helping you heal your relationship with food and your body.
KARI’S STORY
In 2013, Binge Eating Disorder was added to the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5)—thirty-six years after I found myself sitting on the floor of a dark basement, leaning up again a chest freezer, eating a case of frozen Twinkies—my shameful secret. My first binge had occurred after losing 20 pounds on Weight Watchers in high school. I proceeded to weight cycle, a pattern of dieting and bingeing that I would later recognize in many of my clients. I thought my body defined me—and I was at war with it. I had a successful career in the fitness and nutrition industry—which made my secret even more humiliating.
After inpatient treatment for what was diagnosed as non-purging bulimia
at the time, I returned to college for a master’s degree in counseling and continued my personal journey of healing. Afterward, I launched a twenty-year career in eating disorder treatment. I had studied and utilized mindfulness-based therapies in my practice, and I was looking for a model that would apply specifically to binge eating. I learned about Am I Hungry?® Mindful Eating Programs and Training and met Dr. Michelle May.
Michelle helped me both professionally and personally. Despite full recovery from binge eating and two decades working as an eating disorder therapist, my bookshelves were still filled with self-help diet plans and cookbooks. That is until I read her book, Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat: A Mindful Eating Program to Break Your Eat-Repent-Repeat Cycle.
This approach completely freed me from my own Restrictive Eating Cycle. I now have confidence in my own food choices without looking for answers outside of myself. Finally, peace.
The Mindful Eating Cycle Michelle described in her book served as the perfect framework for the binge eating program we would co-create. We conducted a pilot research study for my doctorate program and the results were astounding, showing statistical significance in the elimination of binge eating.
What is mindful eating—and how can it help?
Mindful eating is an ancient mindfulness practice with profound modern applications. Mindfulness is simply awareness of the present moment without judgment. When you become aware of your physical state, your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions as they are in the here and now, you increase your ability to care for yourself instead of turning to food. Mindfulness-based therapies aimed at self-regulating emotional and physical states have shown great promise in the treatment of Binge Eating Disorder. We’ve drawn upon concepts from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy for this program.
There are a number of theories about why binge eating occurs. Binge eating is a way to escape awareness of critical thoughts, numb uncomfortable emotions, and/or it acts as a substitute for unmet needs. This program addresses all three of these areas: thoughts, feelings, and needs.
People with binge eating have a tendency to engage in dichotomous
thought patterns—all or nothing, black or white, good or bad—that become destructive when they make impulsive, automatic decisions about eating, relationships, and life management. Throughout Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating, we introduce specific skills, strategies, and techniques to help you find the middle path or the grey areas
in-between the extremes.
Mindfulness is also effective for noticing the judgmental, critical thoughts that keep you stuck in painful patterns. A key aspect of this program is learning to cultivate a self-care voice to replace your ineffective thoughts and gently guide you toward decisions that create a bigger, more vibrant life.
Each chapter follows the story of an individual struggling with binge eating who is learning to apply mindful eating concepts to his or her life. Their stories are composites of the circumstances, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors shared with us by thousands of individuals over the years. Any similarity to a specific person is purely coincidental.
Another key element of mindfulness woven through this book is developing curiosity toward your experience. We encourage you to be an inquisitive explorer and scientist, discovering new, challenging, beautiful, and amazing territory within yourself. We are simply here to provide the necessary tools and a lighted pathway for your journey.
MICHELLE’S STORY
My struggle with food was a microcosm of my struggle to control my life. I thought if I could control everything, I wouldn’t have to worry. Of course, that was impossible, so I lived in fear of losing control—which I did on a regular basis, especially where food was concerned. I yo-yo dieted, confirming my deepest fear of not having enough—and especially, of not being enough.
I finally found freedom when I quit dieting and learned to tune into my own body and listen to my needs and wants. I gave up trying to be in control and learned to be in charge instead. I learned that I could trust myself to respond to whatever showed up. I became as compassionate toward myself as I had always felt toward my patients. My freedom with food is a microcosm of the freedom in my life.
While practicing medicine, I found that many of my patients struggled to find balance in their eating too. I began teaching workshops, later called Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Programs and Training, to help people resolve mindless and emotional eating and end futile yo-yo dieting. Out of our own personal and professional journeys, Kari and I discovered a common passion and heart for those who struggle with the stigma of weight and eating issues. Due to the secrecy and shame attached to their behavior, those who suffer from binge eating are often misunderstood and go without treatment, or receive inappropriate advice to try another diet. We want to help put an end to that.
We co-created the Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Program for Binge Eating (AIH ME-BE). It is a ten-week treatment program based on the framework of Michelle’s Mindful Eating Cycle, and utilizes mindfulness-based strategies, self-discovery processes, evidence-based practices, and treatment methods used by Kari in her clinical practice.
The program was tested on adult women with Binge Eating Disorder. They went from severe binge eating to a non-bingeing level on the Binge Eating Scale after participating in the ten-week program. There were also statistically significant improvements in levels of mindfulness, depression, anxiety and dietary choices. Preliminary results from the one-year follow-up indicate sustained recovery.
These encouraging results inspired us to write Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating: A Mindful Eating Program for Healing Your Relationship with Food and Your Body and the companion Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating for Binge Eating Workbook and Awareness Journal in order to make this program accessible to everyone who needed it. However, the program we describe here is most effective with a facilitator trained to lead Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating for Binge Eating workshops combined with a therapeutic group therapy process. Please visit www.AmIHungry.com to find a licensed AIH ME-BE program in your area and for our other mindful eating programming including retreats.
It is our hope that you too will find peace, joy, and freedom.
—Michelle May, MD and Kari Anderson, DBH, LPC, CEDS
CHAPTER 1
IN CHARGE, NOT IN CONTROL
Like Connie, millions of people who struggle with binge eating feel trapped in a vicious cycle that leaves them feeling confused and hopeless.
My diet started with the best of intentions and a perfect breakfast: a half-cup of steel cut oatmeal with blueberries, a hard-boiled egg, and coffee with a quarter cup of skim milk. Before I left for work, I took the time to pack my lunch of mixed greens with cucumbers, tomatoes, and a three ounce chicken breast, with light vinaigrette. I even brought my exercise clothes so I could go to Zumba after work. I felt like I was finally back in control. If I stuck to my diet plan of 22 points a day, I would buy myself a bathing suit for my summer vacation.
When I got to work there was an email from my boss asking me to stop by his office before lunch. I worried about that meeting all morning long and during it, my worst fears were confirmed: I had missed a deadline. I was humiliated. How did I let that happen?
I was relieved when my co-workers asked if I wanted to go to lunch with them. I needed to get out of there. We ended up at my favorite hamburger place, but even a combo didn’t make me feel much better—just stuffed and almost out of points. I felt guilty as I passed by the refrigerator at the end of the day and remembered my salad. I’d failed again! I couldn’t do anything right. I changed my mind about going to Zumba. I’d already blown it today.
On the way home I remembered that Ron and the kids were going to a ball game and I felt a rush of excitement. I would be able to eat whatever I wanted! I picked up a large pizza. I put on my sweat pants and turned on the TV to zone out for a while. No deadlines, no points, no summer bathing suits.
I was vaguely aware of the pain in my stomach but I just couldn’t stop eating until the whole pizza was gone. I was stuffed after eating it, but I felt calm. Afterward I sat there feeling stunned and sick. I felt a wave of rage, then shame that I’d let this happen again. It was hopeless.
Then reality clicked in; my family would be home soon. I gathered up the evidence and walked it down to my neighbor’s garbage can. I was in bed with a book when my husband came home. I turned out the light to hide the tears streaming down my face.
If Connie’s experience sounds even vaguely familiar, Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating: A Mindful Eating Program for Healing Your Relationship with Food and Your Body was written for you.
Binge eating is not just overeating. Sometimes called emotional eating, food addiction, or compulsive overeating, binge eating is more severe, more secretive, and more likely to be associated with loss of control, shame, and self-loathing. As you learned in the introduction, during a binge a person eats a large amount of food in a short period of time, usually while alone. They tend to eat fast and feel out of control and unable to stop. Afterward, they feel uncomfortably full, disgusted, depressed, guilty, or ashamed.
WHY DO I EAT?
If you struggle with binge eating, you may wonder why eating seems so effortless for some people and why others seem to be able to stick to a diet. You may even wonder why some people just overeat
—but don’t binge the way you do. Let’s explore different eating patterns—Instinctive Eating, Overeating, Binge Eating, and Restrictive Eating.
Instinctive Eating
First think of someone you know who doesn’t seem to dwell a lot on their eating and effortlessly manages to eat the right amount of food for their body. Perhaps you’re thinking of your spouse, a friend, a child, or even yourself during a time when you weren’t struggling with food—like Connie’s childhood experience.
I have a lot of fond memories that involve food when I was young—baking cupcakes with my mom to take for my birthday party at school, making a chocolate Easter bunny last all day, and Sunday dinners with my cousins at my Grandmother’s house. I never worried about what I would eat, as long as we weren’t having brussel sprouts for dinner!
Overeating
Think of somebody you know who struggles with eating too much. It may be you or a family member, or a friend. Connie described her husband Ron.
Ron loves to eat! There are very few things he enjoys more. His favorite foods are ribs and pizza but he loves vegetables too. He overeats when he has the guys over to watch a game and when we go to his mother’s house for one of her fabulous home-cooked meals.
Binge Eating
You read about one of Connie’s binges at the beginning of the chapter. Can you think of a time when you or someone else experienced something like that?
Restrictive Eating
Now think of someone you know who is on a diet. You probably know a lot of people like this! Here’s how Connie described what it’s like when she’s dieting.
Every time I start a new diet I weigh, measure, and count everything I eat, even grapes. I wake up thinking about what I can eat for lunch so I’ll have enough food points left for dinner. I eat lite
this and low-carb
that. Other than all the vegetables I eat, most of my food isn’t even real food. I kind of like being on a diet, because I feel like I’m in control for a while. It feels like I have really accomplished something worthwhile when I’ve lost weight. I don’t know what my problem is though. I’ve succeeded in just about every other area of my life but I just can’t stick to a diet very long.
THE MINDFUL EATING CYCLE
Do you recognize your own eating pattern in one or more of these examples? The Mindful Eating Cycle is a tool