Ten Things Wonderful Parents do for Their Children
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About this ebook
A book for parents who have adopted special needs children and who now find themselves faced with difficult behaviors and other challenges. This book offers fun creative suggestions on how to gain compliance and strategies for working with schools, finding a therapist, addressing safety issues and building support networks.
Constance Lang
Constance is a graduate of the University of Wisconsin - Madison and currently resides in Washington. She has had several fictional short stories published, as well numerous non-fiction articles, children's stories and poetry. Look for more of her ebooks to come at Smashwords. You may also listen to a short story and more @ http://constancelang.podbean.com
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Ten Things Wonderful Parents do for Their Children - Constance Lang
Ten Things Wonderful Parents Do For Their Children
Published by Constance Lang
At Smashwords
copyright 2011 Constance Lang
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author
Ten Things Wonderful Parents Do For Their Children
Before you Begin
Forward
DO Try This At Home
Table of Contents
Chapter One Love (is a four letter word)
Chapter Two Support Systems – Taking Care of Yourself
Chapter Three Playing Games – The First Steps to Compliance
Chapter Four Discipline
Chapter Five Anniversaries and Other Holidays (parents need time-outs too)
Chapter Six Finding A Good Therapist / Your Child’s Diagnosis and You
Chapter Seven Safety
Chapter Eight School
Chapter Nine The County and You
Chapter Ten When an Adoptive Placement Fails
Conclusion
Before You Begin
Before you begin your journey into our world, we’d like to thank you for your efforts as a parent. We know that as a parent, you want to do whatever is right for your child. The important thing to keep in mind while reading this and other parenting books is, what may work for one child, may not work for your child. Please don’t get discouraged. Try new things, have fun with it, make up your own rules and continue to be the best parent you can be for your child.
Forward
This book was written for parents by parents – particularly those of special needs adopted children. As parents of special needs children who we’ve adopted, we saw a desperate need for someone to write about the challenges faced and how to overcome them or, simply ignore them, if possible. After being asked repeatedly by other parents and therapists, we decided that we would take their advice and write down what we know, what we’ve learned and what we’re still learning. We also want to share what others have learned. Hopefully, this book will accomplish all of these goals.
Our children probably exhibit behaviors within the extreme end of the continuum, but we think our advice can be offered to anyone. Our goal is to share and hopefully make your life easier (or at least add a little humor) in the process.
Do Try This at Home
Be brave, be bold, be adventurous. Try new things. Don’t be afraid to look silly. In order to make your point, sometimes it may be necessary to make a fool of yourself. Some of our suggestions may seem a bit outrageous, so have fun with them. And remember, fear is not an option.
Chapter One: Love (Is a Four Letter Word)
The Beginning
Deciding to adopt a special needs child can be trying at the very least. We hope to show that with hope, love, consistency and resilience, you can be a wonderful parent.
Choosing to Adopt
The choice to adopt is not an easy one for everyone. Many families need to come to terms with infertility and the thought of family traits not being passed onto their own offspring. This can be a challenge in and of itself. We suggest making sure you feel secure with your decision and yourself before you consider adoption.
Once the choice has been made to adopt, you can choose to go through a private agency or the State. Private agencies offer adoption within the United States and abroad and their costs vary. We chose to go through our State Special Needs Adoption Program. We understood that this choice would probably limit us to an older child, but that is, what we as a couple, preferred.
The Home Study
With either choice; a private agency or a State adoption, you will be required to go through a home study. This will include criminal background checks on the soon to be parents, in depth questions about everyone residing within the prospective placement home and many visits by an appointed social worker. Your home atmosphere will be reviewed and interviews with you, your partner and other people residing within the home will take place. This can be a very stressful time for the prospective parents. Having strangers come into your life to evaluate your potential ability as a parent can be awkward and a bit frightening. Just be yourself and follow suggested guidelines offered to you. You may need to make subtle changes in your home atmosphere. For example: we had to put our plastic bags in an inaccessible location and raise our sharp knives to an upper cupboard as well as other precautionary changes. Your worker should provide you with a list of requirements that you can go through and follow.
A Placement
Your worker will try his or her hardest to make sure that the child placed with you is right for your family. Have faith in them. They typically have years of experience and see aspects of your family that you may not see or choose to ignore. But also, keep in mind, not every placement is guaranteed to work out.
Bonding with your child
Once a child is placed with you it’s only normal and of course, in everyone’s best interest, to want to bond with that child. The bonding that takes place can take years to be of any significance. This is important to keep in mind. Make sure you’re ready to make that kind of commitment.
Typically your child will not be close to you and may not want to get close emotionally. This can be very stressful for a