14,000 Dogs Later: My Life with Dogs and What I've Learned

14,000 Dogs Later

By

J. Preston Smith

(My life with dogs and what I’ve learned)

Copyright 2011 J. Preston Smith

Smashwords Edition

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For Their Loyalty

Through the years, I have kiddingly remarked that I can easier remember the names of the dogs I have trained than that of their masters. Then again, many a truth is said in jest.

This is, however, a book about dogs…the wonderful life I have spent with them and what I have learned from them. Appropriately, then, I dedicate this book to each and every dog that I have owned (or that has owned me), or that has had an impact on my life…and two others.

Jeep, Taxi, Silver, King, KaTrinka, Miggie, Gretchen, Gus, Chad, Tagore, Puppy Harlowe, Shambeau, Paddle Foot, Cooper, Strong Heart, Timber, Buddy, Rocky Too, Hanna Banana, Ellie, Runner, Writer, Reader, Sable, Kodi, Jesse, Doc, Putt-putt, Trailer, Sky, Trooper, Lumber, Mr. Edward Tuck and my dad.

And my dead-cat-come-back-to-life, Balthazar.

John

A note from the author

"The more people I meet the more I like my dog." Unknown

Since 1963 I have trained over 14,000 dogs. All shapes and sizes. Some crazy, some not-so crazy. Some with minor problems, some meaner than a teased rattler. Some docile, some aggressive.

I’ve seen Dobbies that would snuggle across your lap as you watch the evening news, and Dauschunds that’d just as soon bite your ankle as take another breath.

I’ve worked with fence jumpers, fear and sneak biters, run-a-ways, car chasers, fighters, chicken killers, incessant barkers, boundary breakers, and dogs that would attack anything on two legs. I’ve trained with traditional methods, with psychology, and hypnosis.

I’ve known dogs, without professional training, that would give their life for their master. And I’ve seen dogs come between their master and mistress in bed, during an argument, and during play-time.

I’ve trained dogs for the TV series Movin’ On, trained dogs to prevent break-ins at hotels, and trained them to protect Sisters of the Cloth. I’ve trained dogs for business security, for the disabled, and for personal protection.

I’ve seen dogs pine at the feet of a sick master, lie at the site of a buried friend, and refuse food until a lost litter-mate had been found.

Conversely, I’ve seen people spend thousands of dollars on a sick pet, talk to a dog as if it were human, and fix his every meal as if they were feeding the Pope.

Dogs are mate-substitutes, empty-nest substitutes, and child substitutes.

They are one of the reasons I believe in God. I’ve seen them do more for humans than humans do for humans. If the relationships, bonds, and friendships we have with others are our greatest assets, then too, a dog at our side is as immeasurable in value. They help us stave off loneliness, fear, and need. They protect us from physical and mental aggressors. They remind us that food, water, and shelter is really plenty for anyone to be happy.

Would you like to know the two commands you can give your dog that will solve 95 percent of all problems? What are the basics of obedience training? Have you ever heard of Fame Tame? What would you do if a crazed dog were going for your throat? How do you know what dog to purchase? Are you anthropomorphic with your dog? How do you know when to let go of a dying dog? What does Aristotle say about a dog’s soul? Who was ‘Old Drum’? What do dogs really want when they lick your lips? How do you test a dogs’ temperament? What do dogs think about? The following pages answer all of these questions…and more.

You may find this book wacky, wild, and weird...like Buddy, my Bouverie De Flanders, who hid behind trees when he relieved himself, or Trooper, a German Shepherd who always faced East when he pooped, or Doc, a Labrador who could yawn on command, or Runner, a Rat Terrier and the only dog I’ve ever known who could do pushups, or El Belle, a Border Collie who sneezes for treats…but, I promise you’ll find something in here that reminds you of days past and present with your pooch. I Hope you enjoy, John

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PS: You may find duplication of some topics or discussions, i.e. dog bite, disposition, temperament, dog senses, sit, down, stay, lead training, and others. That is because some topics fall into various categories. However, new information is presented in each instance.

WHAT I’VE LEARNED (WIL): There are easily drawn parallels between dog and man. We share the fight against enemies and traitors, our charity for others is immeasurable, and we are quick to forgive those wishing us harm. We stand by our family and friends in prosperity and in failure…in sickness and in weakness…during happiness and loss. We deal with misfortune and danger to the best of our individual abilities.

We humans, though, have advantages…one of which is our memory, permitting us to revel in times past. We get to remember and relive those wonderful times with our friends and our dogs…but our dogs cannot.

The Prophecy of Canine, or, how it all began…I think

"…in an ultimate test, Canine had to prove his friendship and dedication to his man-friend by giving his life in the most dastardly of circumstances…fire."

I cannot verify that the following tale is true. On the surface it seems highly improbable, questions man’s individuality as the only soul-owner, and may border on lunacy. If, on the other hand, you have personally encountered the blessings of this creature, if you have been touched by God’s most compassionate hand, if this creation has entered your life, then for you, the improbable has become a reality. Read on, my friend, this story is for you.

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Although it is impossible to identify the exact year, 1000 BC seems likely. At that time the animal kingdom realized that Man was God’s creature of choice and that the only way of becoming a part of the eternal plan was through an alliance with this two-footed being. And so the Commune of All summoned a representative of every species. All would be given the opportunity to present their case as to why they should be chosen to approach the Almighty, asking to be the one to stand equal to Man.

I am king of the jungle, said Lion. It is I that should approach the Powerful One. I will demand to be Man’s earthly companion.

And how would you present our case? asked Wolf.

Said Lion, I will show my power with a roar never before heard.

But that sound was given you by the Powerful One. That will only strike fear into the heart of the one we want to befriend.

Rhino, that thick-skinned beast of the wild spoke next. Who could withstand the menace of my charge? I will challenge the Powerful One.

Challenge, you say. Wolf shook his head. That is not the approach we seek.

He will shrink at the sight of my commanding tusks, the stomp of my massive feet, and the wail of my voice, said elephant.

Not so, said wolf.

Then, for the next seven hours, animals of each species demanded to be heard.

Many, satisfied with their stead in life, defended why they should not be chosen to appear before The Commander of All. I’m okay, I’m okay, said these.

Many demanded, based on their singular supremacy, such as the Lion, Bull Elephant, Rhino, and Baboon, that a Committee of Power should represent all others.

Those remaining could see both sides and could make no decision what-so-ever.

Finally, one alone remained.

How speak you? asked wolf.

Canine walked forward, his head lowered by the weight of his thoughts, his body arched in frustration, his tail submissively dragging the ground. He stood before the assembly, slowly gathering his thoughts before he spoke. Has not The Powerful One chosen Man as the ruler of the earth world?

That is true, responded wolf.

Then, we are not looking to replace Man.

That too is true.

Rather, we are looking for a place at the side of Man, Canine offered, meekly.

The Commune of All quieted. And as each could, reasoned that Canine spoke what they all felt but had not been able to voice.

What is it that you would do? asked wolf.

What is it that you would have me do? asked Canine.

And then, throughout the night, Canine listened to his friends in order to prepare to approach the Holder of All Power.

More humbly than when he had first spoke, the Lion said to Canine, I offer to share with you the goodness of my strength.

The Lamb offered meekness.

The giraffe offered surveillance.

The deer offered submissiveness.

The sparrow offered kindness.

The cat offered indecision…it was the best he could tender.

Many others spoke as well.

Canine listened to his friends, humbly accepting what each had to offer.

When morning came, everyone exhausted, slept…except Canine. He wandered the forest, lost in reflection, wondering at his difficulty. What is the matter with me? he asked the trees and grass and wind. Who am I to approach the Lord God? Why would He listen to me? Why would Man listen to me? What is it that I really have to offer that Man needs? I cannot offer wealth, material goods, or success? I can only offer friendship, and loyalty, and dedication…things that Man can get from other Men.

Maybe Man is in need of you as much as you are of him? said Tree.

But why would Man have need of animals? replied Canine.

Did you not just mention friendship, and loyalty, and dedication? said Flower.

But his friends…? questioned Canine.

Man’s friends are not always friends. They are not always loyal. Their allegiance at times is weak, said Wind. You are the true representative of all species of animals, the true definition of friend. How could the maker of trees, and flowers, and wind not listen? And since He made of you what you are, since He is the Knower of All Things, maybe at this very moment, He is anxiously awaiting your knock at the door of the Great Mansion.

As Wind had been speaking, Canine’s stature grew. The double coat of hair covering his body glistened as if freshly oiled. His ears stood erect, his chest expanded, his tail straightened, its tip barely touching the grass of Mother Earth. His proud figure offered strength, confidence, and humility.

He returned to the Commune of All…as all had awaited his return.

If the Maker of all Things will grant me an audience, I will represent each of you as best I can, he said. Further, he continued as he surveyed the kingdom of animals, are we in agreement to support, without question, the decision of our King?

There were no dissenters.

Thank you, said Canine. Then, nothing left to say, he left the forest, his friends, and his home, setting out on a journey that would forever affect the future of both canine and human alike.

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Stories abound regarding the meeting of Canine and his Maker. Some say God tested Canine with such commands as fetch and speak and sit and stay. Further, it is said, that Canine had to survive without food and water, had to endure cold and rain, was caged, chained, and physically abused. Finally, in an ultimate test, Canine had to prove his friendship and dedication to man by giving his life in the most dastardly of circumstances, by fire.

Therefore, it was not Canine that returned to the forest of the Commune of All. Rather, it was an Angel of the Lord. Canine has been chosen, the Angel said. He has proved himself beyond all doubt. It is he that is to help Man through the difficulties of life. He came to the Maker, however, buoyed by each of your gifts. And because of that Community Offering I bring you these words from your Maker. He thanks you and promises to watch over you, even unto the smallest of his feathered friends. And secondly, it is your love of one another that has touched your Maker. And so, your brother Canine returns to you.

With that said the Angel faded, as did the aura of light that had enveloped him.

The quiet of the moment froze all. No one breathed, nor moved, nor blinked.

And then, what seemed far in the distance was a Call of the Wild. And as it grew stronger, carried by wind whipping through the trees, every animal joined in a cacophony of sound whose beauty surely carried to the ear of the Lord.

And when Canine burst from the forest floor and into the midst of his animal friends there was, it is said, a celebration beyond imagination.

But than again, maybe it’s just a story!

One

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. Andy Rooney

Behind the house where I grew up the backyard stretched all the way to the horizon, a distance such that you could ride a horse into the ground before catching an hombre on the run. Back then, jumping from the porch steps and into that yard transported me from the age of six into a world of fantasy. My first death was there, but not before I killed some of the meanest, low down scoundrels in the West. And always, my sidekick Jeep, a Heinz special, black haired and of medium build, stood by me. He knew though, there were times he would have to scamper for his life. Depending on my supply of rubber tipped arrows, or plunger tipped darts, he was deemed anything from a wild boar to a diseased wolf.

As an Indian I could zing arrows from behind a huge Sycamore catching Buffalo Bill and his sidewinders totally unawares. As a cowboy I could ride my white steed through blazing enemy fire without so much as a scratch. My second dog, Taxi, endured every minute of my pain as I was dragged by my feet along rutted forest paths, through rocky creek-beds, and burning coals.

An old dilapidated shack at the end of the yard doubled as an oft-robbed bank, a fort surround by bloodthirsty Indians, or a house on fire where damsels awaited rescue by firemen or Knights of the Round Table, depending on whether dad had left the garden hose out or not. Silver, another dog of mixed ancestry, often played the part of the bad guy, the demon, or the damsel in distress.

Death in the backyard was not only inevitable, it was dramatic. I fell dead in rusted fencing that separated our yard from Mr. Fischer’s, I died hanging by my ankles from Cigar trees, and death left me draped across an inverted U-shaped steel bar in the middle of the yard, in fantasy I was hanging from the gallows. Always though, always, Jeep, Taxi, or Silver remained in the midst of my fantasy. They were my playmates and my fantasy friends come to life.

The most