Fighting the Unknown: Part 3 - Outcast

Title

Fighting the Unknown

Part 3

Outcast

by

Hans Smedema

2011

Colophon

Smashwords Edition

Version for publication & book trade – January 2019

Owner all rights:

Hans Smedema Amnesia Foundation, Panama

Website: https://hanssmedema.info/foundation

Author: Hans Smedema, Spain

EBook, English language, over 116.000 words

Title: Fighting the Unknown

Part 3 - Outcast

Blog: https://hanssmedema.info

Cover design: Daniel Bies, Drachten, Netherlands

Copyrights

Smashwords Edition

Copyright © Hans Smedema 2011

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without permission in writing from the author, except  for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Disclaimer

The reader must explicitly assume that all the people mentioned in my book have denied what I have described. In order to prevent any legal confrontations, I am explicitly making mention of this here. The reader will have to decide for him- or herself whom and what to believe. In any case, this is my written declaration regarding everything I know and remember about this horrific, long-term betrayal of an unsuspecting couple.

Part 3 – Outcast

Chapter 11 - Declared disabled 

Strategy

I had decided that I could not both continue to work and at the same time expose this cover-up. My thoughts were now virtually always on the cover-up and the big question of how and especially why did people do this to us? It continues to be almost impossible to believe and many people will dismiss it as nonsense without sufficient proof. I was sometimes missing whole sections of conversations with clients, because my mind was constantly wandering, despite the seriousness of the conversation, and this was becoming obvious. I will never ask to be paid for anything that I am not hundred percent behind, so I have no choice but to stop working. I can no longer give my normal guarantee for success with any decency. And trust based on high integrity has always been my biggest success factor. Also because I refuse to lie and deceive (I wish more people had such high integrity), I can no longer carry out my work. The requirements are very high at the high level I work at currently in the north of the Netherlands. After all, people have been coming to me exclusively for help, when they had not been able to find anyone. I have placed dozens of managers, financial managers, commercial directors and managers, company leaders and more. They were almost always Management Team members, so they were the leaders of companies. I had become very good at recognizing success factors of both potential candidates and the companies and was able to put the right combinations together. Especially the Northern Development Company in

Groningen, the NOM was a big client, with Klaas Keestra as my main contact person and he had become a very good business associate of mine. He is a person with high integrity and I am very grateful to him. Now that I had made this decision, I could start to come up with a strategy to expose this cover-up and to find a way to let justice prevail, if not completely, then at least partially. I now have the following choices, I have strategically thought out:

I let everything simply run its course and do nothing to expose this cover-up and conspiracy. The result would be that I would have to accept that I will be viewed as an idiot for the rest of my life. After all, I have to tell the truth to De Amersfoortse (insurance company) and will then suddenly have to receive a disability pension, as a Dutchmen who has suddenly become an idiot. This would also mean that I would have to continue to accompany Wies to birthdays and other celebrations in the family, knowing that they are responsible for unscrupulous, criminal behavior, that the three children are most probably not mine, that my dear girlfriend and wife was available to be raped for 28 years and that I have now become unfit to work. Not to mention the attempted murders and much more. And their stupid refusal to simply be open about things makes it impossible for me to have any contact with them.

I report everything, but don't take any further action and so will still have to go to family gatherings with my wife and the culprits and therefore wishing accomplices a happy birthday?

I create a big commotion about what happened, write a book, and publish everything I know on my website. That would mean having to hurt my Wiesje and I will certainly be seen as completely insane at first. I will never again be able to work as a headhunter. The advantage would be that everyone in the Netherlands will ultimately find out about what I consider to be the crime of the century, or the Dutch Watergate. Everyone will also be able to learn from it and it would probably never happen again in the future. The interest of the public and the prevention of new innocent victims will be of great benefit in this action, and this is very important.

Considering my own high integrity and the trust that this always inspired in my clients, there is really no choice for me. I refuse to lie, I refuse to spend time with deceivers, and I refuse to not frankly express my opinion about anything. Obviously I have chosen point 3. It also matches my own personal mission to always distinguish real from unreal. Even if real has, or seems to have, disadvantages I always still choose it. And besides, I hate cowardice, which I often see in others. I realize that I will have to completely give up my normal life for this. I could even lose my dear Wiesje. I will certainly lose my family, which, anyway, I don't believe I ever really had ever since 1972. I will lose my entire business associate network. I will probably lose my house and anything else of value, and probably even more. I will be fighting a mighty opponent and enemy who has had time and opportunity since 1972, to unscrupulously make sure that I will never be able to prove it. And who had access to unlimited funds from uninformed and unsuspecting tax payers. I will, in fact be Fighting the Unknown!

It is also important to me to consider that if I don't enter into the fight against the cover-up and the people doing it, they will have won. And so far, I have always won all important legal battles. And in the case of such horrendous crimes that were being committed over a period of so many years, I absolutely want to win! Even if it takes until after I die! No one, I repeat, no one, will do this to us without some serious consequences to them! I don't know if I will be able to win this battle legally, but one thing is sure: that I will be able to win it if I write a book about it, which can even still be used after my death. Alexander Solzhenitsyn and the Gulag Archipelago are examples, but also the writer Multatuli. So, I am renouncing all material things and opt for ethical thinking, integrity and moral consciousness. But I am poised, all alone, against a superior power that has a 32-year start on me and probably has the assistance of the Dutch state and even the secret service. But I still believe that I will be able to solve this in a matter of months, with the assistance of a good lawyer. It must be possible to find out through sworn declarations from witnesses how this could have happened, and what documents and laws this conspiracy is based on.

I could not have guessed that I would be finishing this Part III as late as 2010; that therefore I have been working on this for the last six years and have not had any success as yet. How is this possible in the so-called honorable Netherlands? And I know that if you want to expose a cover-up, you have to do the opposite of what the conspirators are doing. And that means to openly publish everything. The only thing that is ultimately going to be able to help me get justice is the opinion of the public. It will be very difficult to obtain legal victory without cooperation from the state and them opening apparently secret files about this horrific case. Most of it is past the statute of limitations anyway of course.  I know that initially I will be viewed as an idiot when I first publish everything openly on the internet and get it out there as a book, and they'll think I'm a hazard in terms of slander and libel against me. It will probably take a long time before people will understand that I am right and that this is the crime of the century.

I can handle it, it's not a problem for me, but Wiesje can't. That's what makes it so much more difficult. My love for her is still undiminished and I will keep fighting for her and my rights, until after I die. When I think of everything she has had to go through for me all those years, cast out by her own family and specifically her unscrupulous sisters Klazien and Betty and also my family, in particular the ruthless brothers Johan, Marinus and Ruud, it brings tears to my eyes. I consider my life as finished in March of 2000, when, for some reason, my memories started to come back to me in flashes. So, in fact, nothing can happen to me and I'm therefore completely independent from anything that might try to stop me. It will give me unyielding strength to go on until I've won. This is not going to remain covered up. No, it will go down in Dutch history. There's also going to be a movie about it. I'm already convinced of that. And everything I'm writing now will therefore become much more important than what our enemies will say. Even after 60 years, they are still looking for who betrayed Anne Frank and her poor, defenseless family. This is probably what will happen to our crime of the century!

January 14 2004 – Applied for disability

On January 14, I applied for disability at DJA Insurance in Norg, my brother-in-law Tjitte de Jong's insurance office. He submitted it to ‘De Amersfoortse insurances’. Then there was a three-month waiting period and then I should get my first check. I figured out that I should receive about 49,000 Euros the first year, and, because it was indexed at 4 %, that should go up to 65,000 just before I turn 65. That is when our pension starts, which is very small, especially since we are now not able to make extra annual contributions to it anymore. It should at least allow us to continue to live decently. Not like we used to, but if we quickly adapt, maybe we could even keep this house. And if I manage to get some damages it will be much better, or the book has to become a best-seller, which I think it might, considering the bizarre things that happened. But only if it can be sufficiently proven that it's true.

January 23, 2004 – Lawyer Johan Verwilligen

I look for a lawyer and my regular lawyer, Justus Werle, with whom I've so far won everything, does not want to help me with this, for some strange reason. His main argument is that I'm looking for publicity, which puzzles me, because that is virtually always the only weapon against conspiracies. I suspect he is afraid to assist me or maybe is not permitted to, because of the cover-up. State security? I make an appointment with Johan Verwilligen for Monday, January 23, 10.00 a.m. in Drachten. I prepare a summary of everything and some questions for him. I give these to him and talk to him briefly. I don't think he understood and he probably didn't believe it, so not much point in going on with him. He also wants to talk to Wies. But I already know what that means. That doesn't help at all, because Wies still doesn't believe any of it. He talked to Wies and of course, she doesn't want to talk to a lawyer about what she considers my strange delusions.

I should be telling a psychiatrist about these things; not a lawyer, she says according to her own reality. I sent him an email about it and asked him if he thinks it makes sense to have another meeting. He doesn't answer, so I decide to go and see him one more time, on my own. I'm curious, because what can he add to this complex matter?

January 26, 2004 - Tjitte and Rin

On Monday, January 26, I spoke to Tjitte and Rin de Jong in Norg again. They're still saying they don't remember anything, even though there is now a lot of information about my evidence. Tjitte says scornfully, Hans, just take a pill. We know all about those kinds of paranoid stories from someone else we know. It started out pretty mild, but that guy eventually went completely over the edge, so you're going to keep getting worse too.

And my sister Rin said, Why do you want this? Why are you wasting your time on this? Go and do something fun!

She's making a lot of effort to keep the cover -up alive. So crimes are simply allowed to happen and they think the solution is to do nothing. They said they didn't talk to Marinus, or to Johan, but he supposedly knows something about it from our mother.

Go and talk to Marinus and Johan about this! They should know all about it. And if they deny it all too, then you'll know that you're just imagining things.

But their story doesn't correlate with Mom's at all. She tells me that they all did talk to each other. That would make the most sense, anyway. It would be unconscionable if they hadn't talked about it? Why would they lie about that? It also doesn’t correlate with my somewhat vague memory that my brothers asked Tjitte to question me if I wanted to know if something weird had happened with Wies in the past. He also called Wies a woman-child at that time. I've never forgotten that, because he was actually right; Wies is kind of a woman-child. That is exactly what I find so attractive about her. Her innocence in everything she does. Could it be that Tjitte never talked about it with Rin to keep as many people out of it as possible? That would make sense. I don't remember much about the conversation, which makes sense, if he talked about Wies, because I was suppressing everything on the spot. I didn't understand that conversation either. But one thing is clear to me after that conversation, and that is that it's all their cover-up and conspiracy against Hans and Wies. Even though they are religious people, they lie as though it's the most normal thing in the world to do. Thou shalt not lie, but they don't seem to care about that. Not even after I had to stop working. I can't understand the reason for this! Why, for god's sake? What were they trying to accomplish? And now I'm unfit to work, so why make everything even worse?

February 1, 2004 – Talk with brothers in Epe

On January 27, 2004, after hesitating for a long time, I finally sent an email to my three brothers. I consider that I only sent an email to Johan in 2000, asking him if he knew anything about Wies and her time in that room in Utrecht with that landlord. He had answered, no, at the time. But if I want to publish this, people will say I never even really spoke to them. So I have to cover that and who knows, maybe they'll suddenly play fair. So I send them an email and make sure it is unequivocal. I only want to talk to them if they are willing to provide openness about what happened in the past. To make it a bit stronger, I put in a lie for a change. Why should they be the only ones to lie? So I say that Mr. Jansma had admitted it all to me on his deathbed. I receive an answer from Marinus almost right away; he's willing to talk and he also wants Johan and Ruud to be there. Even though he treated me deplorably and I have not wanted any contact with him for years, I phone him anyway.

Nice of you to be willing to talk to me, I try to catch him off-guard.

Yes, I'll help you to get past all this. We should catch up, he says.

That's not exactly a confession, so I say,

The two of us could talk first.

But he doesn't fall for it and says he will phone Johan and Ruud. We agree to meet in Epe, because that is presumably the easiest for everyone. Some time later I get an email that says they want to get together with me on Sunday, February 1, 2004. at 10:30 a.m.. Because it is urgent, Johan is even taking time off work, it points out. Wow, such a sacrifice for me! Ruud has just returned from a ski vacation and Ineke is still lying in the sun at Tenerife with Astrid. Too bad Peter R. de Vries didn't want to cooperate, because then we could have had it taped and immediately had proof. Now I have to do it alone. I consider surreptitiously taking my own recording device with me, but I assume that they would expect me to do that. And besides, the thing is only active for two hours and if you're too late the memory is already erased. That's happened to me before. A small professional transmitter and a tape recording from a car would have been better. But, on the other hand, if they are going to confess anyway, and it looks like they will, I won't need that anyway. When I tell Wies about it she gets all nervous and wants to know why I don't finally believe that it's all delusions. Ineke phones Wies from Lanzarote and asks how she is doing. Ruud must have warned her right away about the upcoming talk. Wies doesn't know anything about it, of course; only that there is going to be a talk. And Ineke doesn't seem to know anything either. Wies explains it all wrong and paints me pretty black to Ineke. I listen to the phone call through my computer and can hear everything. Like I never helped her while her father was dying. On the contrary; I always asked about him with interest and always helped her as much as possible. I often went with her too. And I never talked about my problems anymore, except Wies herself starts in about it all the time because she can see me brooding. I try to keep her out of it as much as I can; I also mentioned that in the email to my brothers. It would have been so much easier if Wies had just been able to accept it. It is just a story, nothing more. The uncertainty is killing me. After all, I experience it as a serious crime with very seriously traumatic psychological damage, while at the same time we were denied any kind of help and are still being denied that. On Sunday I leave the house before 9:30. I'm nervous; what will they tell me? It's all true and these are the reasons we were afraid to tell you? That would be a let-down for my book. That would go out like candle in the night. Not an exciting ending. So, I'm philosophizing, but I keep getting more nervous as I get closer to Epe. What if it really is all delusions? Then I'd look like a total fool, but why didn't they tell me right away? I clearly indicated that Mr. Jansma had already told me. Then they should have told me right away that they don't know anything about it, but we're willing to talk to you. Marinus clearly indicated that he wanted to tell me something; he has done that in the past too. When I arrive they are already sitting at the table in the kitchen, chatting. I don't really participate in that. That idle chatter doesn't help with anything, who needs it. I'm sitting on the left, Marinus is on my right and Ruud straight across from me, next to Johan,who is across from Marinus.  Then Johan, who appears to be acting as the leader, finally starts.

We got an email from you in which you urgently asked for help. You wrote that you want us to tell you want we know, but unfortunately, we don’t know anything about this.

Well, then we don't have much to discuss, I say and close my folder with paper to write notes.

Yes, we don't know what you're talking about, Johan quickly tries, because apparently he wants to know more and doesn't want me to leave right away.

Impossible, I reply. There are at least sixty-five things that prove it's true, and I open my folder again and leaf through the 65 things I had written down. They looked at it curiously. They find this interesting and Ruud receives a kick under the table. He gets up and walks behind me and clearly looks at my papers. Very suspicious, I thought. You wouldn't do that if it was just delusions, then you'd just sit back and listen to all that nonsense, I would think. You wouldn't bother to look at all that nonsense a delusional person has been writing down. I realize I can leave now, as I had planned beforehand, but then they'd be able to say afterwards that I didn't tell them enough of what I already knew. And I'm here primarily to cover later publicity. So I start to tell them a bit.

It's about Wies in 1972, but later too. She was abused and raped by her landlord, when she was renting a room in Utrecht. I sent you an email about that in 2000, I say, looking at Johan

I don't remember that. What did you supposedly say in that email?

I asked if you knew what had happened to Wies in Utrecht. You couldn’t have forgotten about that, because you immediately sent me a reply email, in which you stated that you didn't know anything and asked me what was supposed to have happened in Utrecht.

I don't remember anything about that, he replies. When was that supposed to have been?

Some time during the second half of 2000, because I wanted a confirmation whether it was true or if I was delusional. It was very important to me, and so I have definitely not forgotten about it.

Can you prove that? he asks. Do you have that email with you, or can you show it to us?

I'm sure I still have it, I say. I can find it.

But I wasn't sure about that at all, but why should I tell him that now?

Why is that so important to you? If you think it's all nonsense anyway, it doesn't make any difference whether I have it now, does it?

This sharp comment clearly startles him and he looks down, ashamed. He's caught off-guard for a moment and Marinus suddenly starts to talk over him, about nothing at all. So I had him there for a minute, and that proves the cover-up right away.

Yes, that's true, but Johan just wants to know, you see.

And Marinus continues to talk, saying nothing. Johan kicks him under the table and he finally stops.

Well, you're saying you sent that email, but I don't remember anything about it, so I'd like to see proof, he says.

Why? Didn't you just say it was all nonsense; delusions?

Just find that email and send it to me.

I thought it was very strange that he would deny getting that email back in 2000. There must be some important reason that he wants to know if I can prove or not! He could probably be reproached for that later? Was he supposed to have reported it to the Ministry of Justice? By now Ruud is starting to get angry and says,

Hans, you're crazy. Go and see a psychiatrist and don't bother us with this. You're accusing Wies of committing adultery, for god's sake. That poor woman; it's really hard on her, she doesn't know what to think. And Ineke and Anjo are also very upset about it, about all the things you've been making up.

I haven't even said anything yet. The only thing I've mentioned is abuse and rape in Utrecht, so why is he talking about adultery? This is our first talk,  which can hardly be considered an open talk and only Klazien had read that 17 page document about my flashbacks. So they obviously must know a lot more than I've told them.

Adultery,... I say, also getting angry now. Are you crazy? I've never accused her of committing adultery at all. If she's being raped, that is not adultery. Adultery is voluntary and this is not, so what you're saying is the exact opposite of what I'm saying. You should think before you speak and you should listen to what's happening around you. She developed a double personality in Utrecht, because she was being treated with a cattle prod, you idiot.

You're crazy, he says. She doesn’t have a double personality at all. If she did we all would have noticed, and none of us have.

Oh, and what were you looking for then? I ask with interest as well as outrage because of so much ignorance. What exactly are you looking at?

He doesn’t know what to say to that, of course.

What, did you look for a blue flashing light on her head? Or an orange one? Or a green one? What is it you think you would have noticed, you idiot? When someone has a double personality, they lose time. They don't know what they've done; they give that over to another personality that temporarily takes over. I was very angry and I clearly showed it. How dare they get me to come over here and then make a fool of me, while they're lying like hell.

I'll tell you a story about that. I once wanted to have some nude pictures of Wies. After all, she is a beautiful girl and then you have something for later, to look at when you're in the senior's home.

They laughed sourly at that, but did listen with abnormal attention.

But you know Wies; she's a prude and she didn't want to do it. So I bought a Polaroid camera, but she still didn't want to, of course. And then, when I'd finally given up, I said angrily and forcefully,’Why don't you just do as I say, darn it. You never listen to me,' and suddenly she said, 'Just tell me what to do,' and this was after I'd been trying for an hour to tell her what to do. I thought it was strange, but now she was doing what I wanted her to do and I took some really nice pictures of her. When I was finished and looked at her questioningly, because she had suddenly been so willing, she said, 'now would you like a blowjob?' I almost fell over, because that's something she hates and I don't think she'd ever even done that, I continued.

The next day she was the first one downstairs and when she saw the pictures lying on the table she looked at them with surprise. She asked me where I got them. So, I said to my brothers, that was probably one of the first times that I experienced her second personality, without realizing it. And that is no delusion, because I still have those pictures. I can show them to you any time, so what are you talking about: delusions?

You must have just misunderstood everything, they say. Sure, you've got those pictures, but there was nothing going on. She just posed willingly for you and then just forgot about it for a minute the next day.

They are clearly determined to keep denying everything. They must be terrified.

You urgently need to see a psychiatrist, Ruud says, indignantly and angrily. That's the first thing you need to do.

Strange; suddenly Johan wants to have something to drink and even pushes Ruud to go and get it. Apparently he wants the talk to go in a different direction than Ruud does. Ruud goes and gets a nearly empty bottle with just enough left in it for one glass and pours it for me. He pours himself a drink from another half-empty bottle. But I notice that they are acting abnormally nervous about this, especially when Marinus also says, Yes, Hans, have a drink!

I can sense something is wrong here. I'm the only one drinking out of that bottle! I remember being drugged at Klazien's and also in Zeist. So I quickly do a distraction maneuver and look at the big pond where Ruud had said he didn't see the goldfish in it very often anymore, and cleverly say,

Ruud, look, there's some goldfish swimming to the surface... quick, on the left over there!

Ruud immediately jumps up and looks at the pond,

Where? I don't see anything.

But Johan and Marinus are looking too, fortunately, and Marinus is standing by the window, while I quickly switch my glass with Marinus'!

I don't see them anymore either, I say and calmly pick up the glass and drink half of it, still looking for the fish I never saw. Marinus sits down again too and finishes his drink, which may have that drug in it, that the Ministry of Justice or a psychiatrist is apparently permitting them to use, and Ruud says to me,

Finish you drink, then I can clear away the glasses.

Clearly an attempt to drug me with a substance that will make me submissive or more open, probably. So I calmly finished the drink and passed Ruud the empty glass, internally complimenting myself. Well done, Hans, we'll get those bastards yet.

I mention another incident: the one where Gelt Glas tells me, at the Oranje Hotel, that he had run into Jan van Beek at a sort of family reunion. And that I was not supposed to know about anything. That he had later denied it, but that Ans, his wife, was definitely aware that he had been to that reunion.

So how could that be? I ask. How could I have known that Ans knew that Gelt had been to a reunion if that was a delusion?

You just misunderstood, Johan says. He mentioned that reunion, but nothing about Jan van Beek.

He picks up my email again and skims through it.

All nonsense. None of this proves anything. And that part about Mr. Jansma, I'm sure you just made that up.

Strange that he would just dismiss Mr. Jansma like that, while it says that he had taken me into his confidence while on his deathbed and had told me things. They don't even ask me what he said. Why not any simple curiosity and interest in someone they think might be sick? They don't want to know, because it's all true and it could be dangerous for them, or they know that it is delusions and that's why they don't want to know? Still no proof, but when Johan and Marinus got so nervous when I asked why that email was so important to them, that was the moment I thought, Now I've got you, Johan. It's definitely true, you bunch of damn jerks. I mention the pictures again, and that they definitely are proof and that I still have another sixty-five points. Then Marinus suddenly starts to talk about the pictures, and to my surprise asks me, So you have those pictures?

I had just said that I had those nude pictures, so he couldn't have meant those. 

So I ask him, You mean the pictures that were taken of Wies in 1972? suddenly remembering that other series of photos that Jan van Beek sent me  in 1977 or something, and which Mr. Jansma had bought from him.

Yes, he says, stupidly and immediately receives a hard kick from Johan under the table. More proof of the cover-up and lies. That drug must be working on Marinus; that's why he is so open!

No, Wies ripped those up, I say, truthfully. But I did see them.

He gives me a strangely guilty look and then looks down for a moment, as if he is ashamed of something. He was strangely open and dumb. Was that because of that drink and whatever they had put in it? Just like at Klazien and Pieter's? Some kind of hypnotic substance, or something that makes you open and talkative? Now I've got you, I think. This is information I have not mentioned. I was talking about those nude pictures that I took of Wies; not about this set of pictures. Marinus can only know about those ones if the story is true! So he knew of the existence of those pictures of Wies while she was being abused. Apparently Marinus had not been listening carefully during the talk and had thought about whether I had proof. They obviously talked about this beforehand among themselves! Does he have any proof, or not? So should we continue to lie, or...? And if I had those photos at home, then I definitely had proof. Then they would have to handle things differently, so he was suddenly asking about it, and exposing himself while he did.

So I say,

"Marinus, I never mentioned those photos from Jan van Beek before, so you obviously know more about this matter and that tells me that it's true. You guys are all lying. I told you in my email that I was only willing to