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    Communication
    Communication
    Communication
    Ebook125 pages1 hour

    Communication

    By Carolyn Boyes

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    About this ebook

    The communication secrets that experts and top professionals use.

    Get results fast with this quick, easy guide to the fundamentals of Communication.
    Includes how to:
    • Use body language to build rapport with anyone
    • Deal with clients and colleagues at all levels
    • Get what you want in sales or negotiation
    • Excel in meetings and presentations
    • Master email and written communication

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherHarperCollins UK
    Release dateApr 1, 2010
    ISBN9780007358908
    Author

    Carolyn Boyes

    Following a successful career as a fund manager and stockbroker working for a number of financial companies, Carolyn is now a consultant and author. She specialises in discovering simple, practical, self-help tools from business, psychology and ancient traditions.

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      Book preview

      Communication - Carolyn Boyes

      1.1

      Take responsibility

      Yes, it sounds basic, but most of us just open our mouths and speak without prior thought. Yet, whether you are talking or just standing around, you are communicating. So take responsibility. Everything you say and do gives a message in business about how you see yourself and your job.

      It is said that we:

      Hear half of what is said; listen to half of that; understand half of that; believe half of that, and remember half of that. (Anon)

      Face to face or on the telephone, business is won and lost by communication. If you don’t communicate well enough to a customer or to your boss, you might lose money or your next promotion. The real communication is the message the other person picks up. Take these steps to make sure you always are in control of your message.

      one minute wonder One of the first steps you can take to improve your communication is to make it two-way. Sometimes you need to hold back from telling others about all the wonderful things you know and start listening instead.

      Use your ears. Remember, communication is not two monologues. If you are talking to someone, listen as well.

      Take your time. Pause, ask questions, negotiate, sell, respect the other person’s point of view.

      Get in tune. Good communicators are very flexible. They monitor the other person’s reactions and vary their delivery according to the understanding and background of the person.

      Be focused. Have a reason to communicate. Don’t just open your mouth. What outcome do you want from your communication? If you know what you want, you are more likely to be focused in how you communicate.

      Pay attention to the medium. In business, how you communicate is often as important as what you communicate.

      Choose your approach. Will your message be more effective if you speak face to face, have a meeting or write an email?

      Think before you speak. People who think through what they are going to say can be a rarity in business. Many people talk in order to form thoughts; they produce a lot of noise but without much purpose.

      Develop your natural inquisitiveness. Good communicators are genuinely interested in listening as well as talking. They want to gain new knowledge and hear what the other person has to say.

      Take responsibility for what you say and how you say it.

      1.2

      Watch your facts

      One of the hazards in business conversations is falling into the habit of stating ‘fact’ after ‘fact’ in an assertive manner when the statements are really just opinions. To be clear in your communication and avoid misunderstandings, learn to distinguish your facts from opinions and assertions.

      When you talk, there are only a few ways in which you can say something: by asking questions, stating facts or giving opinions. If you want to communicate well in business, you need to recognize when it is appropriate to be gentle, when you should be forceful and when to be probing and challenging.

      Often people state facts or offer opinions when really they should be trying to pry out information through soft questioning. So let’s be clear: a fact is something that is specific enough that you can prove it with evidence.

      Fact. The economy grew by 10% year on year.

      Opinion. I am always right and you are always wrong.

      one minute wonder To add authority to your voice, pay attention to your tone. Questions, statements and commands all have their own intonation. Avoid making statements where your voice rises up at the end of the phrase as this will sound as if you are questioning or doubtful. Statements sound strong when using a voice that is level or falls at the end.

      The first statement is a fact and can be backed up with evidence. The second statement, on the other hand, is not a fact; it is an opinion. It is important that you don’t get confused between facts and opinions, whether as a manager or an employee, or when you are selling or negotiating. If you give an opinion, it should always be made clear, usually by saying something like, in my opinion… or in my way of thinking… as a way to introduce the theme. This allows the opportunity for discussion and others to hold different views to your own.

      The poorest form of communication is the overuse of assertions, as an assertion is an opinion pretending to be a fact. Because they are not prefaced by any sign that they are an opinion, the other person is encouraged to accept them as being true even if there is no hard evidence to support them.

      Weak communicators use assertions in order to close down debate and discussion. They close off any room for the other person in the conversation to give their opinion. Managers who use assertions all the time soon find that they are surrounded by ‘yes people’ while never really finding out what is going on in their organizations.

      Distinguish facts from your opinions in conversations by making it clear when it is ‘just your view’.

      1.3

      Listen actively

      Good listening skills are a vital element of good communication and help to build business relationships, whether in a team or when selling to a client. Most people think they listen, but, if you watch them closely, they are really simply working out what they are going to say as soon as they get an opportunity in the conversation.

      Lots of people listen with their ‘mouths’ rather than their ears. They are not really listening at all. They are simply looking for a chance to speak so they can take control of the conversation – this is called selective listening.

      Why is this so? They probably assume that they have more interesting, intelligent, knowledgeable or relevant things to say than the other person. Or they are mentally editing or criticizing what the other person is saying, and prejudging the outcome of the conversation.

      In contrast, when you actively listen, you don’t jump to conclusions about what the speaker is saying but try to see things from the other person’s viewpoint. Real listening is not passive. It takes focus and energy, but the pay off is much improved communication. These are some steps you can take to listen actively:

      Silence is a source of great strength Laozi, Chinese sage

      1 Use body language. When you actively listen, you show the person through speech and body language that you are listening. Use eye contact and your facial expressions and gestures to show that you are listening.

      2 Be curious. Don’t prejudge what the speaker wants to say. Be interested. What is the outcome they want? What is their motivation? What is the real reason they are talking to you?

      3 Summarize. Repeat back what you think the speaker has just said to you. For example, What I have heard you say is XXX. This gives the speaker the opportunity to clarify any misunderstood areas.

      4 Clarify any abstract or fuzzy terms as you go

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