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    Better You, Better Me
    Better You, Better Me
    Better You, Better Me
    Ebook185 pages4 hours

    Better You, Better Me

    By Jason Matthews

    5/5

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    About this ebook

    There’s a better version of you ready to be energized. The ideas in this book are easy to add to your life, and they work wonders.
    You’ll be happier. Your body will be healthier. Your mind will be activated, creating the life of your dreams.
    Success and prosperity are in your power. Deeper, more meaningful relationships are there too. You’ll surge with gratitude for the abundance life delivers.
    It’s time to embrace the “new you.”

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherJason Matthews
    Release dateSep 14, 2014
    ISBN9781310814518
    Better You, Better Me
    Author

    Jason Matthews

    Jason Matthews was an officer of the CIA’s Operations Directorate. Over a thirty-three-year career he served in multiple overseas locations, spoke six foreign languages, and engaged in clandestine collection of national security intelligence, specializing in denied-area operations. Matthews conducted recruitment operations against Soviet–East European, East Asian, Middle Eastern, and Caribbean targets. As Chief in various CIA Stations, he collaborated with foreign partners in counterproliferation and counterterrorism operations. His first novel, Red Sparrow, won the Edgar Award for Best First Novel and was made into a major motion picture starring Jennifer Lawrence. He continued the Red Sparrow trilogy with Palace of Treason and The Kremlin’s Candidate. Jason Matthews passed away in 2021.   

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    • 5/5
      “ A treasure trove of practical and valuable tips about self-improvement”If you are looking for a recipe for healthy living, Jason Matthews offers a feast in his new book Better You, Better Me. Spurred on by his own results of lifestyle modifications resulting in a “healthier body, more meaningful relationships and improved finances”, Jason takes us on a personal journey to improve his life. In doing so, he offers many practical and valuable lessons about changing for the better. “The new me starts and exists as soon as you start altering the old me.”His clear and engaging writing, interspersed with his sense of humor kept me turning the pages. Each chapter starts with a reflection about topics related to mind, body and spirit such as mortality, gratitude, forgiveness, change, eating and drinking, exercise, rest and sleep, self-care, etc. He then weaves in his own personal stories with relevant research to illustrate his points. For example, he cites research about the correlation of positive attitude with well-being, the importance of water in our life, the association of play and creativity. The honesty conveyed in his personal stories lends credibility to his statements. Within each chapter, he offers a list of do-able tips to incorporate into your every day life.As a health care provider, I found his information to be comprehensive and credible. In sharing his lived-experience in a holistic manner, we, the reader, can begin to visualize ourselves investing in our own health and well-being. Anyone who wants to improve their life will benefit from reading this well-written part-memoir, part-wellness guide. I also feel it is an excellent resource for health care providers who aim to assist others in maximizing wellness.

    Book preview

    Better You, Better Me - Jason Matthews

    Acknowledgments

    Talented authors read early versions to help this book become better. I am sincerely grateful for your excellent suggestions and eagle eyes for pesky typos. I’d like to return the favor soon and hope readers will check out your books and websites.

    Alana Woods, Intrigue Queen and author of Imbroglio and Automaton. http://www.alanawoods.com

    Victorine Lieske, author of Not What She Seems. http://victorinelieske.com

    Madeline Sharples, author of Leaving the Hall Light On: A Mother's Memoir of Living with Her Son's Bipolar Disorder and Surviving His Suicide. http://madelinesharples.com

    Kathleen Pooler, author of Ever Faithful To His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse, a memoir. http://krpooler.com

    Morgan Shamy, YA author and blogger extraordinaire. http://www.morganshamy.com

    Lynne M. Spreen, author of Dakota Blues. http://anyshinything.com

    Hedonist Six, erotic romance author. http://www.hedonistsix.com

    Kaye Shackford, author of Charting A Wiser Course: How Aviation Can Address the Human Side of Change. http://negotiatingsolutions.com

    Part One

    Introduction

    I’M GRATEFUL TO BE ALIVE. This wasn’t always the case.

    For about twenty years I was a mess. Life felt like one formidable hurdle after another, a time when everything seemed to go wrong. I struggled continuously in my career and with relationships. I battled through loneliness, depression, addictions and long periods of healing after multiple surgeries while maintaining the businesses of a house-painting contractor and aspiring writer. I managed as well as possible and forced a smile through the down times, but the setbacks drained my physical and mental reserves.

    I felt empty and became bitter, thinking life was designed to conspire against me. Part of me had had enough and was ready to throw in the towel. Suicide doesn’t have to be a conscious plan. Sometimes we put ourselves in situations where there might not be a way out. I hated the thought of being rescued by anyone or anything but my own doing. Unfortunately that’s what it finally came down to—needing to be rescued. Waking up face down on the cold cement floor of a jail cell while trying to remember what happened was a sobering reality check. This is my life? Even in my stupor of blurred vision, I realized a decision must be made. How was I going to be remembered, not so much by others, but by myself?

    I didn’t want to die that way.

    A Slightly Better You

    I WATCHED MY OWN BODY as it lay motionless beneath me. I hovered near the ceiling, marveling at how genuine the experience felt. It was real yet completely surreal, examining my lifeless figure on display. While hovering there, the first inklings came that I may have died.

    A sense of detachment already existed, knowing it was my body but it wasn’t me. It didn’t define me anymore; it had just been my container and I was something else. An impulse compelled me to leave the body behind and move toward a light source above that was beckoning me to join it. I can’t explain how it was beckoning me but I sensed it was. As I began floating toward the light, a stubborn resistance held me back, and I remained suspended in the air for what seemed like a very long time.

    "You’re safe," a voice said. It came from the light and had a wavy resonance, like a sound made under water, making it hard to tell if the speaker was male or female.

    "I am?" I heard myself reply but couldn’t sense much else except for my mind trying to determine if I was dreaming or experiencing an altered state of consciousness. The first impressions were no familiarity yet a strange feeling of relief.

    "Life as you knew it has run its course."

    For some reason, I sensed it was true. The motionless body beneath me confirmed it. My life had ended—it was just over. After a moment to digest the concept, I responded with one word. Wow.

    ***

    Imagine something like this is happening. You realize you’ve passed away and it’s a little overwhelming. This is a hypothetical discussion today, but we all know it will happen. It has to happen eventually. Thinking about death isn’t much fun, but it can change your life as it did with mine.

    Even if it feels uncomfortable, take a moment to seriously imagine your life has just ended. Perhaps the end came when you were hit by a bus; maybe you drifted off in sleep at a ripe old age; maybe it happened another way. We can leave those details to you and also which version of an afterlife you experience, but for this hypothetical postmortem scenario it needs to be a conscious afterlife, not a total end of existence. Whether you are with a heavenly figure, or bathed in a brilliant light or surrounded by previously departed family and friends, simply imagine you have died and your consciousness is still intact.

    Now think about this next concept, one which many survivors of near-death experiences have reported happening to them. During this afterlife, what if you were given the opportunity to reflect on your lifetime? What if you were shown events from your life, like being a witness to it, where choices were made and actions were taken or not taken? How might that make you feel?

    Reflections on Your Life

    If this were to happen, it seems likely the amount of money you made wouldn’t be the biggest concern. Perhaps how you interacted with family and friends would be. Was I a loving spouse, a responsible parent or even a good friend? Maybe it would be how well you took care of your body. Did I exercise enough and eat well? Did I listen to my body when it gave me signs? Perhaps you’d reflect on choices at crossroads and whether or not you chose wisely. Did I accept that opportunity presented to me? Did I take any risks, or did I act too impulsively? Maybe it would be something else, like allowing a dream or ambition to wither and fade away. Did I follow my heart? Did I give my dream a chance? Regardless of the main focus during your life-review, there might be one nagging thought, a thought I would also have because hindsight is always clearer.

    I could have done better.

    It’s not easy to think about. This thought brought me to tears when I truly contemplated how I could have loved my family members better or how I could have achieved my goals in life better. Perhaps you feel the same way or can sympathize. When evaluating our past choices in a hypothetical afterlife there is no winning or losing, just an interpretation of what we did and how it makes us feel.

    Maybe this won’t happen to you but maybe it will. If you research enough people who have had near-death experiences, you’ll find this pattern repeating (Near Death Experience Research Foundation, 1999).

    I could have done better.

    The thought even makes me angry. Nobody is perfect. Nobody’s close to perfect so we always could have done better. I understand that and you do too. Let’s not get stuck there, even though it is true.

    Instead think of it this way: if there will be a life-review, wouldn’t you appreciate knowing about it beforehand so you can make more effort to be better while still alive? I believe most people would, just as they’d prefer to proudly watch their better version during the hypothetical life-review.

    It’s not a stretch then to make a case that this should be a focus of more people’s lives, to be a better version of themselves or even a slightly better version during the time we have left. Slightly better is a smart short-term goal. After all, nobody should expect an Ebenezer Scrooge transformation where you go from being a tyrant to a saint in one wild night.

    What do you think—are you willing to give it a try? I hope you will because you’ll be joining me in something that has transformed my life. If you decide to try it, there’s no time like the present. Whether there’s a life-review or not, you probably agree that a better version of you sounds like a fine idea. I hope you are curious enough to keep reading because this book can bring about wonderful life changes.

    A New Focus

    Better You, Better Me. This concept has become a priority in my life. I went through the hypothetical discussion in a very real way and didn’t like what I saw. At that time I couldn’t bear the thought of my accumulated experiences being my final legacy since there was still so much more I wanted to do and fix, or at least try to do and fix. Whether or not the life-review happens, I’m going to work on being better. It’s good for me and everyone around me. Today, tomorrow, next week and so on I plan to maintain a calm focus, not an obsession, but a calm focus on personal development. Perhaps it’s the greatest thing I can focus on.

    Today I will be a slightly better version of me.

    This mantra enveloped me once I adopted it. Why write a book about the focus? Because I’ve experienced profound changes and felt compelled to share. The changes began to happen soon after adopting the focus. My attitude became more positive. My reasoning grew clearer. My body got healthier. Relationships felt more meaningful. Work and finances finally started to turn around. Everything in life improved as a result. The daily focus caused dramatic experiences to occur fairly quickly and spread out to each area of my life. I know it can for you too.

    If you decide to adopt this mantra and focus on becoming a better version of you with occasional reminders each day, amazing things will happen. It’s not a secret or a gimmick; it’s a set of practices that works when applied. Please continue reading and find out if the ideas within this book work for you too. I can promise this much—it will be worth the small effort.

    May I ask a favor? Please read this next question out loud:

    "Can I be a slightly better version of me?"

    I assume the answer is yes. Did it feel good saying it or make you smile? Now try saying the next sentence out loud with genuine interest:

    "How can I be a slightly better me?"

    This is where it gets interesting. The responses are different for everyone, even if the answers aren’t readily apparent but are percolating as subconscious blips. When you sincerely ask how you can be better, something within you perks up at the mere question. Maybe you have solid answers already in mind, or maybe you have a hunch of things to come. I hope both are true, because all of that is where we’re heading.

    "What can I do to be a slightly better me?"

    Simply asking questions like these is a remarkable experience of introspection. It’s shifting from a state of passively wishing for a better life to actively seeking solutions. This is how the transformations in my life occurred. The questions alone inspire greater things that are already within us and waiting to emerge. But hang on; this is a lot more than merely saying a few magic words. This is also living those words, mentally and physically applying them, even when taking baby steps toward the better you.

    ***

    Key Concepts

    Begin by describing yourself as The New Me. This book is going to talk about you changing for the better; therefore The New Me begins to exist as soon as you start altering the old one. Besides, it feels good. I think you’ll find it a refreshing way to think about yourself.

    Better Me and The New Me are powerful daily focuses or mantras.

    It helps to write it down:How can I be a slightly better me? If it’s in a few places as a daily reminder, it’s easier to keep the focus.

    You can use my examples or come up with your own specifics, but phrase them audibly and as questions.

    Questions to Focus on Better Me

    "What can I do to be happier?"

    "How can I treat my body better?"

    "What can I do to be better at my job?"

    "How can I be a better parent?"

    "What can I do to be a better lover?"

    "How can I be a slightly better golfer?"

    "How can I be a slightly better me?"

    I know this is redundant, but write this one down or write down a few versions because if you don’t have the daily

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