Driving Lessons For Life: Thoughts on Navigating Your Road to Personal Growth

www.jasonfwright.com

Introduction:

NO LIMITS

Driving is a part of our everyday life. Today, the average person spends more time in the car than at any other time since the automobile's invention. We are driving all of the time. Yet, truth be told, most of us never think much about where we are going, how we got where we are, and the road we took on our journey. Today, most of us are rushing from one place to another, driving distracted, sometimes clueless, to all the happenings along the way. We blast our radios, talk on our Bluetooths, and do just about anything to check out. We are constantly moving but never sure we are really getting anywhere. Driving, and a lot of it, is what we do.

Think about it! Have you recently driven from one place to another, maybe from home to work, but you cannot remember anything happening along the way? Were you distracted, preoccupied, and stressed? Were you focused on something you wanted to do while driving, or were you being passively entertained by the radio or your iPod? In the last week, have you been so stressed with traffic, other drivers, or even inanimate traffic signs and signals that you yelled, cursed, or spoke out loud to them? Are you heading out on the roads of life without really knowing where you are going and what you are doing along the way? Are you driving your life, or is your life really driving you? If you are not sure, then this book is for you!

To be completely honest, I have been there! I have done my share of driving over the years, so I know it is too easy to check out, stress out, burn out, space out, or fly out of control when driving. I would believe you if you told me there are more drivers on the road now than at any other time in history because they are all on the road in front of me just when I need to get someplace in a hurry! I know what it is like to feel the frustration we now call road rage. I know what it is like to be scared, stressed, overwhelmed, late, anxious, alone, and just wanting to get somewhere. Even more, I know what it feels like to have these challenges more than just on the highway. I have been like so many who are not sure where to go, what the best way to get there is, and how to make the most of the journey. I wrote this book because I wanted more. I know you want more too!

This book is all about driving lessons. Sure, you may learn something to help you improve your driving skills by reading it. However, this book is so much more. In this book, you will be reminded of common everyday experiences we all have when we get in a car. Then, a helpful life lesson will be presented to you. You will learn more about how to achieve your goals, become the kind of spouse, parent, or leader you would like to be, and how to handle your emotions better. You will read about ways to organize your life better, resolve challenges, and prioritize things that matter most. This will all happen as you read everyday examples of driving or traveling in a car. The stories will be even more powerful because you will remember them as you get behind the wheel of the car. Driving lessons will literally become life lessons every time you are in the car. You will reflect on them again and again, each time you encounter one of these events on your commute. Because the lessons will be connected to something you already do every day—driving somewhere—they will have more power to impact your life and produce changes for you. You will laugh and nod as you see yourself in some of these stories, and this will make them click even more for you. We all learn so well when we hear powerful stories we can immediately connect to our personal experience. That is exactly why this book will help you make powerful personal changes in your life. It is so connected to what you already do; it is so easily applicable to your life, and the lessons will help you make your life better. If you drive or ride in a car, you need this book.

I have written this book because I want to help you. I have spent over twenty years of my professional life helping individuals, couples, families, church leaders, and groups to make changes and improvements in their lives. For the past fifteen years, I have worked in close, personal contact with individuals who struggle to overcome huge personal challenges or obstacles, wrestle with abuse or addiction, and seek to be happy and fulfilled in life. Everywhere I go, I find people who are not sure where they are going, how to get away from the past, and how to make the most of the journey we call life. Challenges are real, and I have dedicated my career to helping alleviate those challenges. I have worked with thousands who want to make life better and realize their highest dreams. This book came about because I wanted to find a way to share some of those things with you. But I did not want it to be just another self-help or feel-good book. I wanted to find a way to weave it into your personal life so the lessons would be compelling, memorable, and impactful for you. With all of my experience guiding others on their personal roads, I knew I had more to share. I needed to reach you!

I know you probably have some reservations at this point. That is to be expected. Changing direction or even turning around in traffic can be really hard. It can be even more difficult in life. Yet I want to be your personal driving instructor. I want to help you get in the car, so to speak, and feel good about not only the direction you are going in your life, but all the stops along the way. I want you to get more out of your life's journey, and I want to take that road with you. As we take this journey together, you will clearly see I can help you with the challenges you face. Imagine yourself putting a student driver magnet or sign on your life. I will take the seat next to you and coach you along in these chapters. We will get to where you want to go and you will enjoy the journey getting there!

So let's get started. Unlike the signs you see on the street each day telling you how fast you can go, there are truly no limits here. You can go as fast or as slow as you want. You can read this book from front to back! You can just plop the book open and read where it lands. This book is designed to be read or listened to in the car, on the bus ride to work, on the toilet, or before you go to bed at night. You can read it how you want to read it. Even more, you won't find any exercises or places to fill in the blanks or write stuff down. You can, of course, choose to do that if you wish, but mostly, you will just want to read and reflect on these life lessons and make changes as they are right for you. Then, each and every time you drive somewhere, you will be reminded of what you learned. That way, you can come back to your old driving instructor to repeat the lesson again and again. The ideas and challenges will sink in and you will feel inspired to act. You can do this! No limits!

If I can be of any help to you along this journey, please do not hesitate to contact me for more driving lessons at www.Driv-ingLessonsForLife.com or DrivingLessonsForLife@gmail.com. I will offer you a complimentary, no cost, no obligation, free consultation.

No Limits!

Chapter 1

A Car Is Just a Car

Istarted saving for a car when I was about twelve years old. I could not wait to drive. Three months before my sixteenth birthday, I paid $1,200 cash for my first car. I could not drive it legally for three more months. So it sat in front of the house until I turned sixteen and had my permit to drive. I was so excited to get on the road in my new car. When three months finally passed, I was in a large parking lot in my car with my stepfather. I was ready to go. That is when the lecture started before I was allowed to drive.

A car is a car! he told me.

Trying not to get frustrated, I plastered a fake smile on my face and acted interested. I had been going crazy for this moment for years. I would finally get to drive a car. The ride to this large parking lot had been torture, and now I had to listen to a lecture? He told me the seemingly obvious; a car is something to be used to get you from one place to another. That is all. Of course, my young, eager, testosterone-filled mind and body had other ideas. I was not really listening because I just wanted to drive. I had hoped he would stop talking and let me have the keys. He continued.

A car is not a tow truck. It is not a race car. It is not a status symbol to impress people. It is not a place to live, to hide out, or even make out. It is a car.

I feigned more interest. He then spoke of my brother and some of his recent mishaps. Obviously, he was the reason I was getting this speech now. Thanks, Bro!

People often forget the basic reason we have cars and what they are for, my stepfather droned on. When we remember what a car is for, we drive more responsibly and are less likely to have problems. Many problems can be avoided by remembering just this one little thing—a car is just a car.

I was eventually given the keys to my car, and I began my first experiences driving. I was so excited and more nervous than I expected to be. I had to work very hard in those first lessons to drive as I was expected to drive. I probably did better than it felt, but it took a whole lot of concentration to learn all of the things required to be a good driver. It was some months before I drove comfortably, especially with an adult in the car watching my every move and commenting on it. Ultimately, I was driving alone and not really thinking about it much!

Interestingly, despite my apparent lack of interest in the car is just a car lecture when it was given, I have never forgotten that advice. In fact, just a few months ago, I repeated the same lecture to my daughter. A car really is just a car. Though I have not always followed that counsel, I have found it to be true, and I believe it was sound advice for driving and for life.

I learned after those early days of driving that it is quite easy to forget a car's true purpose. It was only a year later when I sold my first car and bought a classic Mustang. I probably spent thousands of dollars restoring my prized new car, adding new wheels, new paint, and more. I had to have the best stereo. I had to have the awesome speakers to go along with the best stereo. The car became my focus. I went to great lengths to buy the manuals from the manufacturer to know everything about the car. It became an object of focus for me. It also changed my car from a car to something else.

My car became all the things I was warned about in that first lesson. I began to look for status and prestige in my car. I was older than most kids in my grade, so I was cool because I was able to drive. When I became a Mustang owner, my status was elevated to king, or something like it. Heck, I even had a sunroof. I looked and felt like royalty when I turned that smooth crank and the roof dropped down and slid into its little compartment. I can still feel and hear the smooth purr as the crank turned and the cover slid open. Beautiful! I was really living high! People flocked to me to see my car, to listen to my stereo, and to watch me open the sunroof. They begged me to open it. My car was so cool! I was so cool!

I remember racing down the freeway at crazy speeds trying to catch the drag from the giant semi-truck in front of me. I could maneuver those turns and corners with precision. I was not being reckless. That would be irresponsible! I was just helping this car do what it was meant to do. A car like that, which looked like that, had to be driven like that—or so I believed. The attention and the turned heads was the prize. I had to have the prize. Fortunately for me, I was lucky and never turned the head of a police officer or, even worse, turned the car over! I had completely forgotten those first lessons.

When the adrenaline wears off, it becomes easy to see the risky behavior and danger that can come from forgetting what a car is. Much of life is like this. It is so easy to forget what certain things' real purposes are. We are seduced by commercials, Internet ads, and videos that lure us into a numb state of forgetting what really is true. You cannot turn on the television or see an advertisement without a promise that this or that product will give you something—satisfaction, peace, happiness, bliss, etc. It is easy to be deceived and believe that something is more than it really is. Could a car really be more than a car?

We are being deceived. Not only is a car just a car, but so many other things are just what they are. Shampoo is just shampoo. It just cleans your hair. Soda is just soda. It just quenches that thirst. Band-Aids are just Band-Aids, and so on! None of these things are friends, lovers, partners, associates, or coworkers. They are just things. None of the things of life bring us bliss, satisfaction, contentment, or any of the things we are told they will give us in subtle and not so subtle ways. They do what they are meant to do, and that is all. To be sure, these things are a nice part of life. However, and this is the point: They have no life. They are just the things that help get us along as part of real life. Real living and life come from the people, the experiences, and good we share with others. Real joy comes from family, good friends, and how we spend our time. This is where life comes from. A car is just a car. This advice is so good to remember.

Chapter 2

Getting in the Lane You Want to

Be in and Staying in It

Driving is such a big part of my life. I drive my car pretty much every day of my life. It has become something essential. This is true for most people. We need our cars to get to work, to school, to soccer games, social events, church, and so much more. They take us to all the places we want and have to go to each day. What would we do without our cars?

In my almost daily experience of driving, I see something that reminds me of my first lessons behind the wheel. Every day, I see someone weaving in and out of traffic, cutting and darting in and out of as many lanes as are available. I see people change lanes at the last minute, swerve across multiple lanes, and repeat this process