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    The Beauty of Aging
    The Beauty of Aging
    The Beauty of Aging
    Ebook194 pages4 hours

    The Beauty of Aging

    By Karen O'Connor

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    About this ebook

    Getting older is portrayed in the media as something to dread! We use Botox, color our hair, dress younger, go on special diets...anything we can do to put off the inevitable. But rather than fearing aging, it's time to embrace it, says popular speaker Karen O'Connor. We can handle the aging process and its blessings and burdens with grace, gratitude, and grit! By looking at seven areas of life-faith, family, friends, finances, fitness, food, and fun-O'Connor shows you how getting older can mean getting better! Learn how to "raise your happiness quotient," change your attitude, and discover the delights of being 50-plus.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBaker Publishing Group
    Release dateSep 5, 2006
    ISBN9781441225504
    The Beauty of Aging
    Author

    Karen O'Connor

    Karen O’Connor is a sought-after speaker, a writing consultant, and an award-winning author of more than 75 books, including Gettin’ Old Ain’t for Wimps (more than 500,000 copies sold). She’s appeared on national media, including The 700 Club and 100 Huntley Street.

    Read more from Karen O'connor

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      Book preview

      The Beauty of Aging - Karen O'Connor

      older.

      Row, Row, Row Your Own Boat!

      As a kid, one of my favorite summertime activities was sitting on the back of Uncle Bud’s woody station wagon. Legs dangling and arms around each other’s shoulders, my cousins and I sat in the woody as it bumped and skidded over the dirt and gravel roads to Lake Wauconda—just down the road from the family’s summer cottage. Those were the days before seat belts and air bags. Less safe then, but lots more fun!

      Then came the best time of all—going for a ride in Uncle Bud’s freshly painted row boat. The shiny oars sparkled in the sun as we lowered them into the water and then took turns rowing our way across the lake.

      Uncle Bud sat in back, barking orders when we got distracted watching other boaters or became too giddy. Pay attention to what you’re doing, he shouted. Row your own boat. That way, no one gets hurt.

      I remember giggling when I first heard him say that. How could we possibly row someone else’s boat? He explained what he meant. Keep your mind and your eyes on what you’re doing. Be responsible for your actions, and you’ll be fun and have fun.

      I hadn’t thought about that sage advice for 50 years or more—until last month when my husband, Charles, and I took a cruise to Alaska. The first evening, we were seated in the dining room at a table with another married couple, Edie and John. We enjoyed getting to know them as they shared details about their family, their marriage of seven years—the second for each of them—and their life in a new home on a lake in Indiana, where they had recently moved. As they talked about the pleasure of lakeside living, I was suddenly reminded of those carefree summers of long ago at Lake Wauconda.

      Then the most amazing thing occurred. Edie talked about a situation in their family that was painful and disappointing. I leaned forward, finding it easy to empathize with her, as some of the things she shared were similar to events in my life.

      When Edie finished, she took a sip of water and sat back in silence. I was about to comment, to ask how she managed such a challenge, when she piped up again. It’s not in our boat, she said, smiling.

      John looked on, patted her shoulder tenderly and agreed. That’s right. It’s not in our boat. We’re learning to take care of what’s in our own boat and leaving other people—even if they are related to us—to take care of what’s in theirs.

      I felt as though I were listening to Uncle Bud all over again. Row your own boat. Hands off other boats. So be it. Amen!

      Oh, but it’s much easier and more fun to row someone else’s boat! I find that this is especially true as I grow older. I have so much wisdom to offer my friends and family (why, I’m a legend in my own mind!), and I love to look through their belongings, to pick and choose what I think they should keep and what to toss overboard, and to take some of their stuff into my boat so that they won’t have to row so hard. I can come up with a list of suggestions a mile long for how to row smoothly, if only they’d ask me.

      They don’t usually, but that doesn’t stop me from offering my advice anyway—or being tempted to—and then wondering why they turn away or cut back on our time together. Alas! I am my own worst enemy—the pirate at the helm, ready to take over someone else’s ship, while my own is sinking.

      And what does all this have to do with faith? Everything! When I row for others or take their burdens and put them in my boat (children who have left the church, a relative living a lesbian lifestyle, a couple living together outside of marriage), I am doing for them what only they (and God) can do. I am assuming that I know more about how to resolve their problems than God does.

      But most important, I am taking my eyes off rowing my own boat and maintaining the things that I am called to carry. A collision, a man overboard, a sinking is surely inevitable if I keep this up. So today, with the eyes of faith, I will row my own boat and support others with prayer and love in rowing theirs—regardless of what I see with my human eyes.

      GRACE

      Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.

      (Psalm 51:6)

      GRATITUDE

      Lord, I thank You with a full heart for the gift of faith.

      GRIT

      Today, I will toss overboard what belongs to others, take stock of what to keep in my own boat and then row as God leads.

      Easy Rhythms

      I read some time ago that Billy Graham reads five psalms a day. By doing so, he can move through all 150 in one month. I was so inspired by this practice that I adopted it myself, although I’ve not been consistent, I’m sorry to admit. Some days I put it off until later and then get distracted or forget. I don’t want to lean on these excuses any longer. I want to be as faithful at reading a psalm each day as I am at taking my daily vitamins.

      Today is the perfect day to start fresh. It’s the last day of December. Tomorrow will be the first day of a new year. Instead of setting goals such as sticking to the perfect diet, getting the latest speaking engagement or book contract, or having the ideal income, what if I began by setting a goal of reading at least one psalm each day? And not necessarily in the order it appears in the Bible. What if I made it a joyful excursion into God’s Word, instead of a chore that had to be completed before I could read the daily newspaper without feeling guilty?

      What if I consider it an opportunity rather than a rule? What if I live the coming year in an easy rhythm of conversation with God, inspired by the psalms? Maybe I’d realize, as David did, that all the wisdom I need is in the high tower of the Almighty. There I’ll find faith and forgiveness, mercy and love, strength and grace.

      I’m getting excited just thinking about it. I’m going to do it. And if I slip, it will be all right. I can start again. It’s not about perfection. It’s about being willing. I’m willing.

      I’m going to get a jump on it right now. Why wait another day? Today can be the first day of my new year of faith. I’m going to begin with one of my favorite psalms. I’ll read it and add a few notes.

      Psalm 121

      I lift up my eyes to the hills—

      where does my help come from?

      Every day, I look at the hills to the east of where I live. Over the years, I’ve hiked the trails, rested on the grassy slopes and waded in the streams of those hills. Those gold and green hills always turn my heart to our creator.

      My help comes from the LORD,

      the Maker of heaven and earth.

      And the maker of my soul. He is my only hope and salvation. I trust in Him alone.

      He will not let your foot slip—

      he who watches over you will not slumber;

      He protects me whether I am awake or asleep. His eye is always on me, day and night. He is not distracted or forgetful or negligent. He never loses interest in me. He never ever grows weary. I put my faith in Him.

      Indeed, he who watches over Israel

      will neither slumber nor sleep.

      He guards his beloved Israel, never leaving His post. How much more does He care for me, His beloved child?

      The LORD watches over you—

      the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

      He stands with me, shielding and protecting me. He never turns away.

      The sun will not harm you by day,

      nor the moon by night.

      There is nothing to fear in the heat of the day or in the cool of the night—not people, nor situations, nor experiences—for God is with me.

      The LORD will keep you from all harm—

      he will watch over your life;

      I have no worries because God is guarding my life, providing me with what I need, and shielding me from the enemy.

      The LORD will watch over your coming and going

      both now and forevermore.

      God is my shelter, my protector, my guide and my friend—every day of my life for all eternity.

      My habit of reading one psalm a day is underway. How easy it is! And how lovely to meditate on God’s Word before I focus on my words for the day.

      Perhaps you’d like to join me. You can begin any time. Why not today?

      GRACE

      Give thanks to him and praise his name.

      (Psalm 100:4)

      GRATITUDE

      Ο God, I am so grateful for Your protection and provision in every area of my life.

      GRIT

      Today, I will read a psalm—a vitamin for my soul—and I will write down its message for me at this moment and let it build my faith one word at a time.

      Window Washer

      "Μom, our daughter Erin sobbed into the phone. Why are we so far away from each other? We’re all getting older, and we should be together. We love you and Charles so much. Would you consider moving closer?"

      Honey, I stammered, as my stomach clutched, the . . . just the . . . the very thought is overwhelming. We planned to be in San Diego for the rest of our days and . . . I listed all the reasons why it didn’t make sense to relocate at our age.

      I’m not sure why I feel nudged to ask you at this time, but I do. Please, Mom, would you pray about it? She paused, then added the kicker: A brand-new community of homes for people over 55 is going up right near us. It’s going to be beautiful. The builder has a great reputation in this area, and the homes will be environmentally friendly and . . .

      She had touched my soft spot. My head reeled.

      Of course, we’ll pray. I don’t want to miss a leading from God. But it doesn’t sound feasible . . . I heard myself rattling on, trying to bury the discomfort with words. We said good-bye with the promise to pray, and then I burst into tears. God, are You in cahoots with Erin behind my back?

      I looked at my plan for the new year. I had a book due in March (this one). We were planning to take a trip to Denver in July and go camping in Mammoth in August. We had signed up for a cruise in September, and we wanted to fit in a trip to Ohio and Kentucky to see other family members.

      Christmas this year was right around the corner, and relatives were on their way. I was getting over the flu and had a stack of work on my desk to complete before New Year’s Day. Surely, God, I prayed, You’re not asking me to squeeze in a major move next year when my calendar is already packed?

      But I had promised that I’d pray and so I did—sort of. God might call it something else—like interrogation. My husband prayed, too. We talked to God privately and together and finally sought His will through listening prayer—whereby we spoke aloud what was on our hearts and then listened for a response.

      As I waited, two words rose up in my mind in large uppercase letters: REST and TRUST. That was it—no conversation, no direction, no assurance one way or the other. So I rested and tried to trust. But then I jumped up, paced around the house, talked too much, cried

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