All That Lies Between Us
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About this ebook
Maria Mazziotti Gillan
Maria Mazziotti Gillan is Director of the Poetry Center at Passaic Country Community College, and Editor of the Paterson Literary Review. She is the author of over a dozen works. Among her many honors, she received the 2008 American Book Award, and 2011 Barnes and Noble Writers For Writers Award. Other awards received by Gillan include the May Sarton Award, the Fearing Houghton Award, New Jersey State Council on the Arts Fellowships in Poetry, and the American Literary Translators Association Award through a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts, the Pietro di Donato award, and the John Fante award from the Sons of Italy in America. She lives in New Jersey.
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All That Lies Between Us - Maria Mazziotti Gillan
ALL THAT LIES BETWEEN US
ESSENTIAL POETS SERIES 153
MARIA MAZZIOTTI GILLAN
GUERNICA
TORONTO – BUFFALO – CHICAGO – LANCASTER (U.K.) 2007
Copyright © 2007, by Maria Mazziotti Gillan and Guernica Editions Inc. All rights reserved. The use of any part of this publication, reproduced, transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise stored in a retrieval system, without the prior consent of the publisher is an infringement of the copyright law.
Antonio D’Alfonso, editor Guernica Editions Inc. P.O. Box 117, Station P, Toronto (ON), Canada M5S 2S6 2250 Military Road, Tonawanda, N.Y. 14150-6000 U.S.A.
Distributors: University of Toronto Press Distribution, 5201 Dufferin Street, Toronto (ON), Canada M3H 5T8 Gazelle Book Services, White Cross Mills, High Town, Lancaster LA1 4XS U.K. Independent Publishers Group, 814 N. Franklin Street, Chicago, Il. 60610 U.S.A.
First edition. Printed in Canada.
Legal Deposit – First Quarter National Library of Canada Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 2006940788 Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication Gillan, Maria M. All that lies between us / Maria Mazziotti Gillan. (Essential poets series ; 153) ISBN 978-1-55071-261-2
9781550714708 epub
9781550714715 mobi
I. Title. II. Series. PS3557.I375A75 2007 811’.54 C2006-907003-2
Contents
People Who Live Only in Photographs
Little House on the Prairie
What Did I Know About Love
The Mediterranean
Christmas Story
There Was No Pleasing My Mother
Breakfast at IHOP
I Want to Write a Poem to Celebrate
Superman
I Am Thinking of the Dress
My Father’s Fig Tree Grew in Hawthorne, New Jersey
My Sister and Frank Sinatra
Sunday Dinners at My Mother’s House
My Father Always Drove
Spike-Heels
Trying to Get You to Love Me
Housework and Buicks with Fins
Driving into Our New Lives
Nighties
In the Movies No One Ever Ages
Who Knew How Lonely the Truth Can Be
I Wish I Knew How to Tell You
What a Liar I Am
On an Outing to Cold Spring
Selective Memory
Your Voice on the Phone Wobbles
On Thanksgiving This Year
I Never Tell People
Do You Know What It Is I Feel?
What I Remember
I Walk Through the Rooms of Memory
Nothing Can Bring Back the Dead
What I Can’t Face About Someone I Love
Is This the Way It Is with Mothers and Sons?
Everything We Don’t Want Them to Know
At Eleven, My Granddaughter
My Daughter’s Hands
My Grandson and GI Joe
What We Pass On
The Dead Are Not Silent
What the Dead No Longer Need
I Want to Celebrate
Couch Buddha
People Who Live Only in Photographs
My mantle is lined with photographs of the dead; those people who live only in black and white. Their faces, serious and self-contained, watch sofas and chairs.
Dennis’s great-grandmother and great-grandfather stand in their Victorian wedding clothes: he, in his stiff high-necked shirt, black suit; she, in her high-necked gown, starched and pleated bodice, plumed hat. They are not smiling, but look prosperous and poised, a standard photo, circa 1892.
And here is Dennis’s father as a young man in his captain’s uniform, a Bing Crosby look-alike. He is pleased with himself and the world, next to my father at sixteen in his first posed photograph, proud and serious in his high-topped shoes, dark suit and white collar, a formal bouquet of flowers on the table. It is this photograph his mother carried until she died, though he left Italy when he was sixteen and never saw her again.
My grandmothers, whom I never met, stare out of inexpensive frames. Beside Dennis’s grandmothers, who sit stately in their sterling oval frames, look poor and worn.
Looking at them, these people I see every day, I think how little I know to tell a snippet of a story, a name – nothing else. How little of their past we can pass on to our own children and grandchildren. My mother did piecework in a