Spiking the Sucker Punch
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This gloriously bellowed lyrical and linguistic chaos, this ‘mess of crossed wires and mixed seagulls,’ will make your status quo ache, your perceptions implode, your horizons widen and shatter. -Patricia Smith, “Blood Dazzlerâ€
Robbie Q, our dazzling shooting star sparking the gritty Chicago heavens, crackling with the surprising and contradictory rhythms of life on the run and in the heat. Keep on, Brother Q, dance the dialectic, your wild inspired unruly convergence and conspiracy. -Bill Ayers, activist/educator/author
In Spiking the Sucker Punch, Robbie Q. Telfer rocks out a bestiary of antic poetics all his own. In his open and generous hands, speech acts zoom in and out of our collective desire to live and love. You will feel alive again reading it. -Daniel Nester, “How to Be Inappropriateâ€
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Book preview
Spiking the Sucker Punch - Robbie Q. Telfer
Greg.
Opening Epigraphs
I know that men are won over less by the written word than by the spoken word, that every great movement on this earth owes its growth to great orators and not to great writers. . . [The] power which has always started the greatest religious and political avalanches in history rolling has from time immemorial been the magic power of the spoken word, and that alone.
—Adolf Hitler, Mein Kampf
Cool people suck shit.
—Lynda Barry
Clowns
There is a dark club full of hyenas
barking at an empty stage.
Jon Lovitz replaced Phil Hartman
on News Radio after one night when Andy
Dick fed cocaine to Phil Hartman’s recently clean wife,
Brynn Hartman. Phil Hartman
told Brynn Hartman that if she started using again
he would leave her, so Brynn Hartman
shot Phil Hartman and herself in the head.
Years later, Andy
Dick taunted Jon Lovitz about how Andy
Dick caused Phil Hartman’s death, so
Jon Lovitz grabbed Andy
Dick by the head and bounced his face off a
comedy club bar.
David Foster Wallace wrote a very simple and
easy to understand book called Finite Jest.
Richard Pryor burns. Gilda Radner smolders.
Andy Kaufman writhes on the ground with women.
Bill Hicks never gained mainstream popularity
because he couldn’t tell more dick jokes than
jokes about the first Iraq War. Perpetually censored,
Bill Hicks was diagnosed with cancer,
taped a set on David Letterman, told more jokes
about abortion than the battle of the sexes.
David Letterman pulled the segment from the show,
and his friend Bill Hicks died a few months later.
Bill Cosby shot his shotgun mouth with a sleepy rage.
Michael Richards does the same but his pellets are flaccid.
Dave Chapelle walked away from millions of dollars
because he couldn’t control WHY the hyenas were barking.
In February 2009, David Letterman aired the censored
Bill Hicks segment and publicly apologized to Bill Hicks’
mother, Mary Hicks. She only half-accepted the apology.
At Kermit the Frog’s memorial service,
Miss Piggy had to run away from the podium
at the end of his eulogy. Scooter told the congregation
why we should live in the moment like Kermit did and then
Scooter died of AIDS just two years later. Big Bird
came out to sing It’s Not Easy Bein’ Green
and for
a moment it sounded as if there was a human being
living inside of this giant yellow body, for a moment it
sounded like this impossible real person was starting to
crack and cry inside of this now trembling feathered body
all because a frog didn’t want to bother people
by going to the hospital in time. Later, the ashes
of someone named Jim Henson were scattered
on a ranch in Santa Fe.
From the stage, you can’t see the hyenas but
you can hear them barking. Your job is to be
meat dangling to tease out the barking. Your
job, clown, is to be meat dangling dance for the
canine scream that means that you’re winning.
You’re a failure if they think they can hear a real
human being shivering and frightened inside
your giant clown body. There’s a two-drink
minimum, tip your waitress, you’ll be here all night
you say, you’ll be here all night sucking out
the cackles daring death to just try and take you.
And that’s the joke, you know, life. Life is
a wonderful joke. When Tina Fey was five
years old, she was playing in her front