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    The Light Side of Corrections: Federal Prison Camp
    The Light Side of Corrections: Federal Prison Camp
    The Light Side of Corrections: Federal Prison Camp
    Ebook64 pages1 hour

    The Light Side of Corrections: Federal Prison Camp

    By Stan Dragomirov

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    About this ebook

    Is it possible for prison to be less than unpleasant? Yes! Outside a religious experience or sexual practices your grandparents wouldn't approve of? Still yes! If you're looking for a hold-on-to-your-seat, thrilling adventure through the roller coaster of corrections in the U.S.... I'm sorry, but this isn't it. This is a lightweight, though poignant collection of journal articles and quips about the suburbia of prisons: Minimum Security facilities, also known as Federal Prison Camps. Why read this? Because the proliferation of crimes, regulations, vague statutes, creative interpretation of evidence, prosecutorial misconduct and the like all up your chances of being convicted for something (or nothing, doesn't really matter). Upon conviction, you may head to the notorious USPs of which I know nothing about. But if you go to the lighter side of security in the Federal system, I might have a few words that might help you. Though I'd like to be clear -- a few words, and that's it.

    This is not a "how to" book. it is a diary. The Light Side of Corrections is personal and at times unorganized. It is comical. Silly. Sometimes angry. Sometimes playful. Read at your own risk.

    I won't claim TLSoC is awesome. It's not. It's my first real book and even after too many revisions, could still be better. Having said that, I'm not asking for much in the price department. So why not, right? Let's be honest, you've made worse decisions than buying this book.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherStan Dragomirov
    Release dateApr 21, 2015
    ISBN9781311794031
    The Light Side of Corrections: Federal Prison Camp
    Author

    Stan Dragomirov

    Let's get to the interesting part: I've been to Federal minimum-security prison and nowhere else, in terms of the the U.S. corrections complex. You can find gritty details of harsh prison life, gang politics, violence, drugs, desperation and redemption. Some of it is legit, some is, I'm sure, fabricated or exaggerated. None of it is in my book, "The Light Side of Corrections: Federal Prison Camp."I don't mean to trivialize the very real trials and even suffering that goes on in an FPC, but I will point out that, at least from my experience and observation, it is not much more hellish than the world outside the gates. Meaning that the problems and hassles one encounters are a consequence of human nature and social interaction, not so much the facilities.I say this with an afterthought: assuming you don't need healthcare. As one's sentence increases, that is less and less likely to be a valid assumption. Healthcare anywhere in prison is a joke. I have not accounted for it in the book and don't presume to have answers to the interplay of medicine and prisons.So that's it. My story's in my book. Go read it.

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      Book preview

      The Light Side of Corrections - Stan Dragomirov

      THE LIGHT SIDE OF CORRECTIONS: FEDERAL PRISON CAMP

      Minimum Security, Contraband Oranges, Excessive Complaining, Inappropriate Mirth

      Copyright © 2014 by Stan Dragomirov

      All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

      I have tried to recreate events, locales and conversations from my memories of them. In order to maintain their anonymity in some instances I have changed the names of individuals and places, I may have changed some identifying characteristics and details such as physical properties, occupations and places of residence.

      Acknowledgements

      Family and some incredible friends got me through more than I could ever repay them. Thank you.

      But there’s something else I want to say.

      The inmates I encountered repeatedly shocked me with their strength of character, their intelligence, helpfulness, friendliness, honesty and other admirable traits too numerous to name.

      I would like to acknowledge all in prison, guilty or not.

      TABLE OF CONTENTS

      1. Journal

      Observations, thoughts and recordings. Written in the tone of a witty amateur who got his dumb ass thrown in prison. Maybe not so witty after all. Don’t look forward to any kind of seriousness, personal development or virtuous character traits on my part. I will not lie to you with inflated claims of literary merit.

      2. Supplementary Notes

      Something like sarcasm packaged in court records. Contains obvious points to the effect of mild-to-moderate criticism of prisons. Also, general nonsense bordering between journal entries and headline spoofs.

      Overview

      So, on slogging through an FPC:

      Over the last few months I decided that I’m qualified to lecture you about some of the dos and don’ts, can and cant’s, will and won'ts, and of course the humble ais and ain'ts of minimum-security life. You will find:

      journal-style articles

      survival guide hints and tips

      opinions regarding the legal system

      inmate personalities

      two fictional short stories

      maybe some text porn

      Regarding Supplementary Notes

      Self-explanatory pieces detailing fictional research and impossible proposals. Will you marr… Wait, not those kinds of proposals. I apologize in advance for some long titles, but I do so half-heartedly. In defense of long titles, attention spans have become very short and whimsical. A little effort on your part will be usef… zzzz.

      …

      Oh, right. So that’s the kind of thing we need to stop.

      Chapter 1. Journal

      Part 1: Inmate Personalities

      Where Angels Make Love For 60 Cents

      There are plenty of pleasures in the camp. Nutty cones, for one. Commissary sells these things for 60 cents each. I bought one for someone a few weeks ago. Over the next several days, I forgot about the favor. For those of you wondering, yes it was a favor and not protection payment.

      Then today, bam, a fresh cone floats in front of my face. I become sexually aroused. It’s attached to a hand, to an arm, to the guy who I bought the cone for half a month ago. The arousal faded. I relished the cone; for a few minutes I was out of this drab little make-work nuthouse. For just a few minutes, the cone took me to where angels make love.

      Filling The Suggestion Box

      Many guys here nurse grievances against the system. Surprise! They write letters and rants to reform this, fix that, amend whatever. All to conform to Justice. Difficult to disparage their motives, but there are a few points of polite contention.

      The claim(1): The well-connected get away with it and the rest of us get the shaft. No disagreement here.

      Counterpoint(1): Only as long as you stay in the country. While moving out can help, I believe there is nowhere, absolutely nowhere one can go and find the plebeians treated on par with the head hombres. Having said that, some countries truly do have better laws and civil liberties protection in place. Remember when it actually made sense to want to live in the US? Take a chance somewhere. Look at the recent history of court decisions, blogs and journals written by citizens and expats, business and hiring practices (official and otherwise) and whatever else gives a realistic snapshot of life in the new land.

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