Little Wolf’s Haunted Hall for Small Horrors
By Ian Whybrow and Tony Ross
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About this ebook
A third Little Wolf novel told through letters. Little Wolf and friends are opening their new school where the lessons are Hunting for Gold by day and Haunting and Spooking by night.
Uncle Bigbad, ‘him wot died of the jumping beanbangs’ and now a big bad ghost, is the star attraction of Haunted Hall School. The problem is that he will only turn up a) if it suits him and b) if there are enough baked beans in the cooking pot. Little Wolf and chums know that the ninth rule of Badness is NEVER trust a big bad wolf and our chums find out that you should NEVER, EVER trust a big bad DEAD wolf! Our cheeky little hero and his friends have to travel far and wide to find a brute beast brave enough to stand up to Uncle Bigbad, if their school is to survive. Enter Normus Bear, the latest recruit to the Little Wolf books who biffs and cuffs his way though this hilarious novel.
Ian Whybrow
Ian Whybrow’s many popular successes range from picture books to novels for older children. Best known for his original humour, he always writes with adult readers as well as young ones in mind. He has a brilliant ear for voices, and takes pride in the fact that his work reads aloud very well. ‘I loved being read to as a child,’ he says. ‘And I loved the sense that my parents were enjoying it too. For me, that’s the acid test for any book – that there’s something in it for everyone to enjoy.
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Little Wolf’s Haunted Hall for Small Horrors - Ian Whybrow
Dear Mum and Dad,
Please please PLEEEEZ don’t be so grrrish. It’s not fair Dad keeps saying, GET A MOVE ON LAZYBONES, OPEN YOUR SCHOOL QUICK.
Just because he has fangache, I bet, boo shame. Today I will do news 1st, then cheery pics for him after.
Yeller and me and Stubbs are trying and trying. Paws crossed we open soonly. But did you forget our 1 big problem I told you about before? I will tell you wunce more. It is the ghost of Uncle Bigbad. He is fine, in a dead way, but he keeps being orkwood nasty, saying do this and do that or no more haunting from me. Just because he knows we neeeed him for our School Spirit.
Here is a pic of Haunted Hall, the scaryest school in the world (opening soonly):
I am not drawing a pic of Uncle Bigbad. Because 1) he is too crool, and 2) you cannot see ghosts, only after midnight (get it?)
I will draw me and Yeller, my best friend and cuz, instead:
a is just us being normal (Yeller is the loud 1).
b is us dressed up as bossy Heads saying, No chewing in class,
ect.
Now I will do Stubbs the crowchick:
a is him being all proud of 2 new feathers.
b is him doing looptheloops in his glowmask.
And now just 1 more: a Small Horror of Haunted Hall in his spooksuit. Guess who? Yes, Smellybreff, my baby bruv, going sob sob I want my mummy. (Only joking, he likes it here really.)
Yours cubly,
L Wolf
(son and Co-Head)
Dear Mum and Dad,
Your crool letter says my pics are soppy and cubbish. I only did them to make Dad’s fang feel better. Whyo Y is he so cross? Because I would not do a pic of his horrible dead bruv I bet.
So all right, here he is haunting our cellar in the night-time:
He only comes if he smells lovely bakebeans cooking in the pot. HMMM, YES PLEASE, SCOFF SCOFF. He says they give him loads of Spirit Force.
Mum says does he still look like Dad? Well, he looks just like before he died of the jumping beanbangs. Only now you can see through him. He has a big horrible furry face, plus big horrible red eyes, plus big horrible yellow teeth and all dribble dribbling down. Also his eyebrows meet in the middle like Dad’s, only more caterpillery. Plus he is all green, also loomy looninous he glows in the dark. He is v fearsum plus he makes your fur stand up.
He likes to come slidingly through the wall saying a terrible WOOOOO! and GGGGRRRRAAAH! Also he likes saying terrible words like this:
I AM THE GHOST OF UNCLE BIGBAD! ME WOT DIED OF THE JUMPING BEANBANGS! I DROOL, I DROOL FOR A LUVLY GOBFUL! FETCH ME THE SHOVEL AND FEED ME SWIFTLY!
But if you say, Uncle would you like to be our School Spirit and teach our pupils your ghosty powers?
he says:
NO BLINKING BLUNKING FEAR, 2 MUCH LIKE HARD WORK.
Then he scoffs his bakebeans (canteen size) and off