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    Best Friend Worst Enemy: Overcoming Self-Sabotage in Your Life!
    Best Friend Worst Enemy: Overcoming Self-Sabotage in Your Life!
    Best Friend Worst Enemy: Overcoming Self-Sabotage in Your Life!
    Ebook119 pages1 hour

    Best Friend Worst Enemy: Overcoming Self-Sabotage in Your Life!

    By Jane Freund

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    About this ebook

    Self-sabotage can be as obvious as procrastination and uncompleted multi-tasking or as subtle as perfectionism and tardiness. However, learning about self-sabotage is not enough. You must learn how to make and to work a plan to overcome YOUR self-sabotage.

    Don’t self-sabotage overcoming your self-sabotage. READ THIS BOOK!

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherJane Freund
    Release dateApr 23, 2015
    ISBN9781310134685
    Best Friend Worst Enemy: Overcoming Self-Sabotage in Your Life!
    Author

    Jane Freund

    Jane Freund is an author, speaker and book coach who is dedicated to positively influencing lives through friendship, communication and education. She has written or co-written 17 print, audio and electronic books. in addition, she taught Communication for ten years at Boise State University.

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      Book preview

      Best Friend Worst Enemy - Jane Freund

      Best Friend

      Worst Enemy –

      Overcoming

      Self-Sabotage

      in Your Life

      By Jane Freund

      PO Box 9171 ● Boise, ID 83707 ● (208) 407-7457

      jane@janefreund.com

      ©2015 Freundship, LLC. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by an information storage and retrieval system without permission of the author.

      Any trademarks, service marks, product names or named features are used only for reference and are assumed to be the property of their respective owners, and the use of one of those terms does not imply endorsement on the part of the author and the publisher. In addition, every reasonable attempt has been made by the author and the publisher to achieve complete accuracy of the content in this publication.

      A great deal of this publication is based on anecdotal information and personal experience. Remember that each person has a different set of life experiences. Your individual situation likely will have some differences from the examples given here. Please adapt your use of the information and suggestions accordingly.

      In conclusion, remember that this publication is not meant to replace common sense, legal, medical or other advice. Put what is shared here in perspective with the other life lessons you have learned.

      ISBN-13: 978-1492252863

      ISBN-10: 1492252867

      ISBN: 9781310134685

      Thank you to Thom and Hannah Hollis, the father-daughter team who are responsible for the cover design of this book. Hannah drew the picture and Thom laid out the design of the front and back cover. Thom’s company is Hollis Design Studio (www.hollisdesignstudio.com).

      Dedicated to my cousin

      Roger Hansen

      (1963-2012)

      Thank you for all of the

      lessons you taught me through your life and death

      Table of Contents

      If you got it, you can spot it

      Nuggets for Lifelong Learning

      From Subtle to Aware to Action – Ten Signs of Self-Sabotage

      Assessing YOUR Self-Sabotage

      The SLOWER Method for Making Change in Your Life

      Filling Your Toolbox: 100+Tips for Overcoming YOUR Self-Sabotage

      Making an Action Plan

      Moose, Riley and Stacia

      Recommended Reading

      Other Books by Jane Freund

      Contract

      Endnotes

      If you got it, you can spot it

      As an author, I know to write what I know and one of the things I know is self-sabotage. We have a long-standing personal relationship dating back to my early years. I have learned a lot about self-sabotage to the extent I know that if you got it, you can spot it. In other words, I self-sabotage so I can recognize it in myself and in others. Thus, I began speaking on the subject of self-sabotage and decided that a book on the subject was in order.

      Speaking of this book, I have some tips to share about how to make the most of what is included. Think of me as Farmer Freund as I plant seeds. Some of those seeds will take root immediately, others will sometime later, and still others will never have an impact. However, don’t prejudge what will have meaning and what won’t but rather read the entire book.

      That seed was the first tip and now let me share the next one: take note particularly of self-analysis. Learning from this book involves being able to look inward as to our own habits, beliefs, thoughts and actions. I suggest getting a separate journal in which to record ideas and thoughts and take notes. In addition, feel free to write in the book itself to mark important points.

      The final tip I offer at this point is to remember that consistency is a process and not an event. Whenever I make a cake or some other batter, I don’t put all of the ingredients in a bowl and instantly have the consistency I desire. In fact, I have to take time and effort to mix the items together until I get the desired consistency. The same is true with the process of overcoming self-sabotage. Time and effort are involved in making such change in your life so be patient and practice self-forgiveness.

      Speaking of self, what is self-sabotage? My favorite definition of self sabotage is "When we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn't happen. That definition is courtesy of an American businesswoman named Alyce Cornym-Selby. An important concept to keep in mind regarding self-sabotage is that it can be very SUBTLE. In other words, you are not even aware that you are doing it. You don’t usually say to yourself, Hey, I am going to do things to stop myself from accomplishing my goals." Later in this book, I will get more into the subtle nature of self-sabotage.

      But before we dive more into self-sabotage itself, let’s take a minute to announce our intentions. With as much volume and enthusiasm as possible, say Today is the day I begin overcoming self-sabotage in my life. Now, say the same sentence in a quiet voice: Today is the day I begin overcoming self-sabotage in my life. Whispering the words is important too because often the still small voice has more impact on our ability to get things done than does the loud voice.

      Take a minute and turn to the contract on the last page of this book. If the contract is not usable, write the statement Today is the day I begin overcoming self-sabotage in my life on a piece of paper. As is the case before signing any contract, read it thoroughly and understand every detail.

      Let’s focus on the key statements within the contract. First of all is the word today. The delay of time is the fertilizer which keeps self-sabotage growing. The word today indicates no more succumbing to procrastination, the #1 form of self-sabotage, but rather taking action now instead of later. The saying of the phrase and the signing of the contract are definite actions taken TODAY to starting the process of dealing with self-sabotage head-on!

      The next key phrase is I begin and indicates that overcoming self-sabotage is a process and not an event. Self-sabotage did not take root in your life overnight but rather took many years to infiltrate your thoughts, beliefs and actions. Thus, you are not going to deal with self-sabotage quickly but over time. Think of it this way: unlike I Dream of Jeannie where Jeannie folded her arms and blinked her eyes, taking care of self-sabotage does not happen instantaneously. Incidentally if the show I Dream of Jeannie is unfamiliar, research it and be prepared as I will use several of those cultural references in this book. What an opportunity to become even more educated and to hone your research skills!

      Overcoming is the next crucial word in the contract. Surprisingly, self-sabotage is difficult to eliminate from our lives. Self-sabotage may be reduced, learned from and dealt with but self-sabotage does not totally go away. Rather, you put tools in your tool chest to not let self-sabotage get the best of you.

      My personal example is best described by my Christian faith. By accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, I did not remove sin from the list of events that would occur in my life. Rather, I admitted that I sinned (and continue to sin). What my Christian walk does for me through study, prayer, worship and other means are tools for dealing with my sins. In the same way,

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