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    Single and Complete: Alone and Content
    Single and Complete: Alone and Content
    Single and Complete: Alone and Content
    Ebook68 pages57 minutes

    Single and Complete: Alone and Content

    By Ndidi Ngwuluka

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    About this ebook

    Single lady, who are you? Have you discovered yourself? Where does your happiness lie? Should you allow marital status to define you? Are you happy being single, or are you depressed and frustrated?

    This book will lift the frustrations, depressions, and pressures of being single. It encourages the single lady to live and not wait with folded hands, understanding that where she is now ought to be maximized and not wasted.

    The focus of Single and Complete: Alone and Content is to uplift the single lady to know who she is, to respect and encourage others to respect her status, to kick out the life suckers, and to encourage her do exploits and go places.

    Single lady, capitalize on the moment and fly to the highest heights; step away from the ordinary and be extraordinary. Experience joy while fulfilling your God-given vision.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBookBaby
    Release dateAug 17, 2015
    ISBN9789785376616
    Single and Complete: Alone and Content

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      Book preview

      Single and Complete - Ndidi Ngwuluka

      CHAPTER ONE

      Introduction

      I am single, but I am not cursed. I am single, but I am not sick. I am single, and it is okay.

      I am single, and there is unrest around me precipitated by my singleness—unrest that insinuates that only marriage is the solution. Initially, when the pressure was high, the war raged within and without. I am single, and consciously or unconsciously, folks around me spent time and effort lecturing me about how abnormal singleness is. It used to be that the calmness within me slipped away as they lectured, but today, I smile and listen to them. Yes, I know better now. Sometimes with close friends, I choose to unsettle them by saying, What if I’m called to be single? What if it’s a gift?

      What is wrong with being single? Of all my friends, I’m the only one unmarried. It doesn’t worry me, but it worries them. Some will never end our conversation without wanting to know if something has happened. One of my friends always asks, When are we coming for the wedding? She gives me the impression that as long as I am not married, something is missing. I get the feeling she believes that as long as I am not married, I am not accomplished.

      Why should marital status be used to define a woman? It is a foregone conclusion of those meeting me for the first time that I am a married woman, so I am addressed as Mrs. The pleasantries are: How is your husband? How are the children?

      Then I have to correct them. Now don’t get me wrong. I am not against marriage. It is indeed beautiful. Marriage is ordained by God, given for the purposes of companionship, sexual fulfillment, and procreation. I strongly believe that marriage should be held in high esteem. However, the emphasis in my society is not on marriage as an institution created by God, but on getting married as a requirement for attaining respect and recognition.

      If a woman has not married for one reason or another, should she be made to feel miserable? Even when she is not worried, pressure is on her to worry. It is not normal, people say. What is abnormal about a woman choosing to be single? My society considers it abnormal. I am a Nigerian of the Ibo tribe. In Ibo land, most fathers who can afford it happily expect their daughters to obtain a university degree. After that first degree, marriage is expected. There are joys and celebrations when a daughter gets married. The daughter and her family unconsciously perceive this as an accomplishment. I have also interacted with some of the other tribes in Nigeria, and their ultimate desire for a daughter is also marriage.

      I have spent time with friends in India, and it is also abnormal there for a young woman to be single. In fact, after interacting with some of them, I began to think the pressure to marry is stronger in India than in my country. Again I ask: what is wrong with a woman being single? In my culture, it is the man who seeks out a woman and proposes. It is not normal for a woman to propose, yet the pressure is more on the woman to marry. How sensible is that?

      Adaeze completed her undergraduate program in chemical engineering. She had developed such a passion for chemical engineering that she thought it would be appropriate to proceed to obtain a postgraduate degree before seeking a job in the industry. After graduation, she took some time off to visit some friends and got back home two weeks later. As she walked into the sitting room, her father looked up from the newspaper he was reading. His face lit up when he saw her, and he said excitedly,

      Our chemical engineer!

      Adaeze is the first female chemical engineer in their clan.

      Your mother and I are proud of you. In fact, everyone in the clan who heard you had graduated with distinction is greatly pleased.

      "Thank you, Dad. I’m happy too. I enjoyed the program, and I

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