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    Mum, I Think It’s Time
    Mum, I Think It’s Time
    Mum, I Think It’s Time
    Ebook79 pages1 hour

    Mum, I Think It’s Time

    By Irene S. Roth

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    About this ebook

    One of the hardest things that children of elderly parents have to do is to recognize the early signs when our parents can no longer live on their own. It can be a very frustrating and difficult moment when we first realize this. Yet, it is very necessary to come to terms with what is really happening and something that each person will have to go through if she has an older parent.

    There are many early signs of when a parents needs to go into a retirement facility. Most of these signs are pretty clear for outsiders but not so clear perhaps for family members who are too close to their parents. Sometimes we are not objective enough to accurately determine when a parent needs to have more care than she has now. And sometimes this decision can be multi-faceted and emotionally complex. In this e-book, I go through this process in detail.

    First, the immediate family must decide whether Mum or Dad needs to go into a retirement home. This can take a lot of compassionate conversations and commiserating. Many siblings do not live close to the parent. Most siblings move far away, making it difficult to always communicate openly with the parents. Some siblings don’t see parents often and they may not even realize how bad a parent is doing. But when it comes to moving a parent out of his/her own home, this can bring out the worse other family members who live far away.

    In this book, I dispel some of these difficulties and offer information on how to handle such a difficult time of transition for both the parents and the siblings. I offer a lot of information for children of aged parents and how to choose a retirement home that is just right for the parent. And I offer advice on how children can ease the transition for their parents, assuming of course that they agree to go into a retirement home.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherIrene S. Roth
    Release dateFeb 3, 2016
    ISBN9781311284839
    Mum, I Think It’s Time
    Author

    Irene S. Roth

    Irene S. Roth, MA is an academic and freelance writer. She writes academically, for teens and tweens and adults. When she isn't writing, she is teaching. She is also pursuing a Master's of Social Work Degree.

    Read more from Irene S. Roth

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      Book preview

      Mum, I Think It’s Time - Irene S. Roth

      Mum, I Think It's Time...

      By: Irene S. Roth

      Copyright 2016 Irene S. Roth

      http://www.howtomanageyourarthritus.com

      License Notes. This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. It may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with someone else, please purchase an additional copy for each reader. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      Table of Contents

      Introduction

      Chapter 1 – The Warning Signs

      Chapter 2 – Other Difficulties

      Chapter 3 – Extended Family Distress

      Chapter 4 – Having the Chat with the Elderly Parent

      Chapter 5 – Finding the Right Retirement Home

      Chapter 6 – Helping Parent Transition into a New Life

      Chapter 7 – Forming New Habits

      Chapter 8 – Dealing With Difficult Extended Family

      Chapter 9 – Transitioning into a New Life

      Chapter 10 – Epilogue

      Reference List

      About the Author

      Introduction

      One of the hardest things that children of elderly parents have to do is to recognize the early signs when our parents can no longer live on their own. It can be a very frustrating and difficult moment when we first realize this. Yet, it is very necessary to come to terms with what is really happening and something that each person will have to go through if she has an older parent.

      There are many early signs of when a parents needs to go into a retirement facility. Most of these signs are pretty clear for outsiders but not so clear perhaps for family members who are too close to their parents. Sometimes we are not objective enough to accurately determine when a parent needs to have more care than she has now. And sometimes this decision can be multi-faceted and emotionally complex.

      First, the immediate family must decide whether Mum or Dad needs to go into a retirement home. This can take a lot of compassionate conversations and commiserating. Many siblings do not live close to the parent. Most siblings move far away, making it difficult to always communicate openly with the parents. Some siblings don’t see parents often and they may not even realize how bad a parent is doing. But when it comes to moving a parent out of his/her own home, this can bring out the worse other family members who live far away.

      In this book, I dispel some of these difficulties and offer information on how to handle such a difficult time of transition for both the parents and the siblings. I offer a lot of information for children of aged parents and how to choose a retirement home that is just right for the parent. And I offer advice on how children can ease the transition for their parents, assuming of course that they agree to go into a retirement home.

      There is something very disconcerting about the idea of putting a parent in a retirement home. Not only will this be the last place where they will live in most cases, but many times the parents fight the idea of going in for a long time, and some parents suffer needlessly in their own homes all alone just so that they don’t leave the home where they living for much of their lives and brought up their children.

      I’ll never forget the look on my mother-in-law’s face when her son, Jim, suggested that it was time for her to go into a retirement home. She looked like Jim had hit her on the head with a sledge hammer. I was standing on the sideline and I couldn’t help but have tears welled up in my eyes. The tears were involuntary and it was strange because I didn’t know whether to feel happy or sad.

      As Jim kept talking to her, she sat down on the chair in the kitchen and looked at him as if he was taking her to be slaughtered. All she could say after Jim showed her all the information about the retirement facility that we think would be best for her was well, we’ll see. And that is when Jim said NO, we can no longer see. You will have to put down your deposit and you will have to put your name on the list. She was still very uncertain, but she waved her head up and down as if to say, well, okay, but very reluctantly.

      I will never forget that day, and this is one of the main reasons why I decided to write this book. I want to help others transition through this difficult time without the kinds of guilt and negative emotions that Jim felt. It was worse than any situation we ever went through with my mother-in-law.

      In this book, I will focus on the beginning times and also the middle times. There are so many transitions in each of these times, and none of them are easy. It takes so much worry, stress, work and absolute angst to get through this time of transition. It is now a few years since that day and time, and I am still very stress-laden. Times are

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