The Journal of a Rebel Earth Angel Volume II
By S.T. Alvyn
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About this ebook
What is life like as an Earth Angel? The maverick Earth Angel reveals the less shiny side of lightworking through her thought provoking tales and experiences. Follow her journey as she balances her lightworking assignments with her own goals; witness the moral dilemmas she faces; the silent joys when things do work out; read her reflections on what she has learned, and how she copes with Karma and her own Guides.
In this second volume she shares her thoughts on how humanity and society are evolving, why people are attracted to a Spiritual Path, and what they can expect. Use the book as guide for your own awakening, or read it to get an insight to what life as a Sensitive is really like, without any of the fluffy anecdotes. Be amused, inspired, surprised, empowered, and enlightened even, by her witty frankness and honesty.
S.T. Alvyn
S.T. Alvyn, is an author, explorer, and philosopher, and is also a tsundoku, but with good intentions to read them all one day.
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The Journal of a Rebel Earth Angel Volume II - S.T. Alvyn
I made the decision to document my lightworking life and duties in these journals as memoirs back in 2013—to chart how my journey was progressing or not. It began as my blog, Visionary Musings, but I decided I needed to expand on some issues, and a blog isn’t always the best place to do that. The blog is still active, but here, I write without keywords, censoring, or SEO in mind, and truly from the heart and Soul, complete with the nitty gritty—the things other spiritual writers tend not to share or write about.
Since the spread of the World Wide Web, sharing spiritual experiences has become easier and enabled people of all ages and anywhere in the world to connect. At times this can help when an experience may provide comfort to another, but on the other hand there are sites and forums full of information that can be damaging and confusing to those who are newly awakened on their Spiritual Path. Naturally everyone is entitled to their beliefs, but is it wise to share something that can influence another when there is no validation, and that could cause harm? Psychics do misinterpret things, and people who channel can get things wrong. That’s why even with my beliefs I’m open to listening to others as long as they make logical sense. Here, I can only show you my perspective with my logical reasons and interpretations. I don’t claim to be 100% right, because no one can, and what is right for me may not be so for others.
With the internet, most things have become easier, and others too easy, so much so that people don’t take things seriously because it takes such little effort to do an internet search, then to cut and paste or send a link. Being an Earth Angel there are no shortcuts—even guidebooks can be limited in what they provide, but one maybe guided by what I have written and have experienced as an aspect to consider. There is no self-help or dummies guide, and I assume the premise, if it was meant to be, why would you need it?
A Lightworker is someone who helps Souls in need, and an Earth Angel (a generic term that has been coined) is an Incarnated Angel on the physical realm, who has been asked to aid a Soul, either by an Angel in the Spirit Realm or the Soul’s Guide. I don’t attach much relevance to labels, but healers are Lightworkers, but aren’t necessarily Guides or Earth Angels. Some like myself may have all those abilities, or others may be more skilled in one area over another. For example, some Guides are not healers, but may have some healing abilities.
Awakening is a tough step; then there is the acceptance and figuring out what’s next. I wish I could say it gets easier, but I would be lying. Instead, I am more aware and expect less. Rather than anticipate or look out for signs, I notice them, but I still don’t read too much into them, because I see people that use them as a crutch. Use them as markers and triggers, but not to make decisions—for that you should always use your intuition. Nowadays, I appreciate any respite—that’s not to say I don’t want to help, but everyone needs some me time. As they say choose your battles wisely, and do the same for your missions. I have taken a step back from taking on too many charges, as it has been exhausting, even as a Lightworker, one has to decide to make the best use of their time.
I’ve spent most of 2015 on The Soul Expedition—a channeled guide (my Higher Self) to what the Soul is and its purpose. In addition to my Visionary Musings, blog, I have set up a website for The Soul Expedition, with a Q&A section to make it more interactive. On our spiritual quests, we all have to start at the beginning, and I hope my work and experience helps others have a less rocky journey.
Reluctant or Rebellious?
Am I just reluctant, as in hesitant because I cannot logically understand the whys and wherefores, or rebellious as I challenge what I have not chosen to do (or recall)? It wasn’t a choice or a conscious one on this plane at least. We may have accepted the vocation of being an Earth Angel before an incarnation, however, until I had recall, the signs were around, but I wasn’t looking for them or able to piece them together. When I did remember, I recall my elaborate intentions. Noble, however, not particularly realistic, especially when you’re a perfectionist and the thought of failure is daunting. I have experienced failure, but rather than see it as that, I see it as the best I could do under the circumstances.
What is the difference? Reluctance is unwilling or hesitant. I’m not unwilling, but I am hesitant as I hadn’t anticipated this way of life—it’s different in so many ways; you find yourself in different company than you would rationally choose, places that you had not planned on going to, and sometimes your life and plans are put on hold in an emergency. In some ways I am rebellious because I question and challenge because I know there is no answer, and I have no control over what is happening. It’s my own way of feeling as if I have some kind of control and to exercise my free will, knowing that Fate will step in anyhow to realign things. Am I making it difficult for myself? Perhaps, but I’m a believer in choices and options. As much as I believe in Destiny, I believe in trying to understand why things happen as they do. I have come to the conclusion there aren’t always answers, because the correct question hasn’t been asked. Often I have asked a question and there has been no answer, or maybe that is my answer—that I don’t need to know, or that it’s something I need to discover alone.
In an act of despair, I did ask why I came back and incarnate, and what purpose was I really serving. I was feeling a failure, being an academic graduate who never had an actual job that used those qualifications. Somehow things always eluded me, no matter how hard I tried to fit into an office or retail job. Later I was shown the answer. It was not what I expected (or my ego did not wish to think so), but it did clarify things, but did my knowing help me? I do feel the Powers That Be reluctantly gave me the answer, because I had stopped ‘living’. Sometimes we do need a reason rather than blind faith, and I had already taken huge leaps of faith and I had run out and was running on empty. Since then another answer or reply came in the form of a major incident—the near death of a parent. While it explained things, did it make my life easier? Understanding why doesn’t make things easier, but you feel less frustrated knowing that there was a reason.
Sometimes a reason isn’t always clear until later in hindsight, and although it may not be a good reason, it may have been a Soul Contract or the rebalancing of some karmic debt. Karma is a whole topic by itself, but we cannot question Karma or control it. We can re-balance our Karma, and learn to avoid adverse Karma by being honest, and modest in our thoughts and actions—to act morally and ethically even if we know we can get away with it, because Karma doesn’t judge (it rebalances an unjust act with a just act one) and sees everything. Still, it doesn’t stop me questioning things. I’ve learned plans don’t always work out, because Fate is more powerful and will intervene. It doesn’t stop me planning, but I see it as a sign when plans get blocked too often to look for another path.
The Higher Self
I remember when I first heard someone talk about the Higher Self, I grinned, but that’s because they made it sound as if it was something unrealistic. It took a while to understand what it actually is and means. I was privileged to sit on a live spiritual art channeling session by a friend;