Living in Gratitude: Mastering the Art of Giving Thanks Every Day, A Month-by-Month Guide

Material

PRAISE FOR LIVING IN GRATITUDE

Angeles Arrien is one of the most gifted and generous teachers of our time. She brings forward the perennial wisdom of traditional cultures and gives it accessible, pragmatic application that is essential to the health of our contemporary society. Angeles Arrien is a rare and true wise elder. She embodies what she teaches.

—Frank Ostaseski, founder and director of the Metta Institute

"In Living in Gratitude, Angeles Arrien once again gives us a treasury of wisdom and practical tools. Written with her trademark flair and love, this is a transformative book of month-by-month reflections and practices that effectively shows us how to integrate the healing power of gratitude into every day of our lives."

—Riane Eisler, author of The Chalice and the Blade, Sacred Pleasure, and The Real Wealth of Nations

"Living in Gratitude is a gift, both a vessel of perennial wisdom from many sources and a vehicle for grace. Angeles Arrien returns gratitude to its essential role for growth of the individual soul, but also to its rightful place as a practice for sustaining the ongoing creation of the world."

—Michael Meade, author of Fate and Destiny and The World Behind the World

"No wonder Angeles Arrien dedicated Living in Gratitude to her ancestors. Those of us who had the privilege of knowing our grandparents or great-grandparents will remember that gratitude was their spirituality long before anyone was talking about spirituality. It is the great merit of this book to help us find again this ancient portal to full human aliveness: grateful living."

—Brother David Steindl-Rast, cofounder of A Network for Grateful Living (ANG*L)

Most people are grateful because they’re happy, but wise people are also happy because they’re grateful. Angeles Arrien is a wise person who reminds us beautifully of this happy fact.

—Roger Walsh, MD, PhD, author of Essential Spirituality

"Living in the most individualistic and often self-serving culture in human history has pushed humility and gratitude into the background of most modern life. Angeles Arrien’s Living in Gratitude shows a way to bring both back into the foreground. She shows us that real gratitude requires real commitment, over time, through the seasons of the year, and the seasons of our lives. This book will change your life."

—Phil Cousineau, author of The Art of Pilgrimage and Beyond Forgiveness

"Angeles Arrien brings to Living in Gratitude deep wisdom resulting from her decades of study of anthropology, mythology, and comparative religion. She offers a twelve-month program that utilizes the extraordinary transformative potential of gratitude. This is a unique book with a powerful spiritual message; weaving together the essence of perennial teachings with prayers and practical exercises, it will take the readers on a journey that will change their experience of everyday life."

—Stanislav Grof, author of When the Impossible Happens, Psychology of the Future, and The Cosmic Game

"Living in Gratitude by Angeles Arrien reminds us all that each day is a gift to be lived to its fullest. Arrien unearths the world’s greatest thinkers standing in wisdom traditions throughout the ages, and she designs unique practices that help us embody these teaching so we can make them our own."

—Lauren Artress, Canon of Grace Cathedral, author of Walking a Sacred Path

PRAISE FOR THE WORK OF ANGELES ARRIEN

Angeles Arrien is a national treasure. Period. Her wisdom and creative genius are legendary. Angie has been the guide and shepherd of the transformative process in untold numbers of individuals, and I stand in awe of her compassion, wit, and knowledge of the human condition.

—Jeanne Achterberg, PhD, professor at Saybrook University, author of Lightning at the Gate and Imagery in Healing

The work of Angeles Arrien is pivotal at this time in history because it connects two worlds: the world of inner, personal transformation and the world of outer, social change. Angeles is a builder of the bridge between them. She is a guardian of the frontier where inner and outer meet. Whatever subject she touches glows with this awareness.

—Mark Gerzon, president of the Mediators Foundation, author of Leading Through Conflict and American Citizen, Global Citizen

Angeles Arrien teaches from an inner state of nearness to the ancient ways of knowing. Through her attunement to the universal qualities of spirit such as generosity and gratitude, she helps us to recognize those qualities within ourselves.

—Helen Palmer, author of The Enneagram and The Enneagram in Love and Work

Angeles Arrien, a teacher of great heart and great grace, is a beloved, compassionate, and charismatic visionary who has inspired untold numbers with her wisdom and guidelines for life based on creative syntheses of transpersonal and anthropological perspectives.

—Michael Harner, PhD, founder and president of the Foundation for Shamanic Studies, author of The Way of the Shaman

Angeles has a delightful way of synthesizing her considerable research into useful wisdom. She is an expert craftswoman in the art of weaving poetry, language derivatives, stories, and practical life suggestions into a rich mandala.

— The Mind/Body Connection

Angeles Arrien draws us back into our roots in nature ... to find the sources of our strength. She calls up the wisdom of the ancient warriors, healers, visionaries, and teachers to show us how to restore the balance in ourselves and in our environment.

—June Singer, Jungian analyst, author of A Gnostic Book of Hours

Once in a while, one is privileged to meet a wise woman, and that woman is Angeles Arrien. She has a unique ability for understanding various points of knowledge—from academic to business, to spiritual and indigenous knowledge. Her ability to bring all of these points of knowledge together in such thoughtful, relevant, and inspirational ways meets you where you are in your own life cycle. The world needs the knowledge she shares.

—Zainab Salbi, founder and president of Women for Women International

Angeles Arrien, anthropologist, author, and teacher, has dedicated her remarkable talents to the cultivation of spiritual growth and social consciousness. She has influenced generations of men and women to aspire to a greater good and now reminds us of the importance to live with gratitude, to test its healing powers for ourselves, and to recall that we are part of something greater than ourselves alone, a cosmos alive with mystery. I am grateful for her works and her remarkable presence.

—Alan Briskin, PhD, coauthor of The Power of Collective Wisdom, author of The Stirring of Soul in the Workplace

Angeles Arrien’s work has inspired thousands of people to remember the profound and sacred promise of their own lives. Her work has been devoted to the essential similarities that exist within the world’s wisdom traditions. Angeles has been a tireless builder of bridges of understanding between people of diverse spiritual, cultural, ethnic, and generational traditions. She is a genius of the human spirit.

—Patrick O’Neill, founder and president of Extraordinary Conversations

Angeles Arrien is a national treasure. Her teachings have evolved from the universal wisdom and values found in diverse cultures around the world. Her cross-cultural perspective is made accessible and relevant by her skillful and experiential approach. Her work is inspirational and defines a way of life that begins from within, transforming and cultivating the personal, professional, and relational aspects of one’s life. The world needs more of what Angeles Arrien has to offer.

—William B. Stewart, MD, medical director of the Institute for Health & Healing, author of Deep Medicine

For all my Basque Ancestors

and especially for my grandparents:

Lorenzo and Juana

and

Calixto and Petra

Acknowledgments

I am forever grateful for all the people and circumstances who have and continue to fill my life with blessings, learnings, mercies, and protections, and especially:

For the gift of life itself, and the Great Mystery of how it continues to unfold.

For the gift of family and those loved ones who have become extended family, all of whom continue to teach me about the importance of love, loyalty, authenticity, and generosity of spirit—especially my sister Joanne, who best embodies these qualities, and who is my greatest friend and ally. She is the one person who has and continues to be there for me, no matter what.

For the gift of friendship, and for all those who continue to offer that precious experience to me—especially those whom I have known for fifteen to forty-five years. You know who you are.

For the gift of collegiality shared with my colleagues. You all inspire me and continue to create many opportunities and challenges so that my creative gifts can be utilized and expressed more fully in each decade of my life.

For the gift of teaching and learning, especially for all the students, participants, organizations, and institutions that continue to be drawn to my seminars, classes, workshops, and consulting services. You all help me actualize my life dream and purpose, for which I am forever grateful.

For the great gift of faith, and the solace and sanctuary it always provides.

And last, but not least, for the gift of the angels, the visible and invisible ones, who helped me manifest this book.

To those who have pioneered and expanded the field of gratitude, particularly Brother David Steindl-Rast, M. J. Ryan, and Sarah Ban Breathnach and researchers Robert Emmons, Michael McCullough, Johanna Hill, Barbara Fredrickson, and Martin Seligman, whose work has inspired me to write this book. It is important to acknowledge that the work of gratitude is an expansion of what began in the field of humanistic psychology with Abraham Maslow’s pioneering work. This work later influenced the development of transpersonal psychology and consciousness studies, which was pioneered by Tony Sutich, Sonya Margulies, Miles Vich, James Fadiman, Bob Frager, Stan and Christina Grof, Frances Vaughan, Roger Walsh, Charles Tart, and Arthur Hastings. Abundant gratitude to anthropologists Mircea Eliade, Margaret Mead, Sandra and Michael Harner, and Alan Dundes, whose work has stimulated and influenced my interests in cross-cultural and perennial wisdom. I am also deeply grateful to the work of Joseph Campbell and Huston Smith, both of whom have shaped my continued interest in mythology, symbology, comparative religions, and interfaith work. And with deep appreciation to the Fetzer Institute and its visionary founder, John E. Fetzer.

Many thanks to all those from Sounds True who have believed in and worked on this book, especially Tami Simon, Jaime Schwalb, Haven Iverson, and the creative design staff that made this book so beautiful. Gratitude also to editor Sheridan McCarthy, whose efficiency helped me develop, clarify, and format the material into a more accessible form. This is a better book because of her efforts. And special thanks to Marianne Williamson for her inspirational and thoughtful foreword.

Limitless gratitude especially to Tenzin Lhadron, my excellent executive administrator, who not only kept everything going in my Sausalito office, but whose flexibility, focus, patience, insight, competence, quality feedback, and generosity of spirit were invaluable and immeasurable in bringing the manuscript into publishable form; and to her research assistant Ashley Eagle-Gibbs, who helped her with the permissions for this book.

—Angeles Arrien Sausalito, California May 2011

Foreword

Gratitude is one of those words that no one disagrees with, as in: "Well, of course we should all be grateful. And now pass the salad, please. Nothing more to really discuss about that, is there?"

So it is that we subtly, even insidiously, avoid the tremendous powers of some of our greatest gifts: by simply viewing them as a given. If something’s obvious, then why investigate it further? But the obviousness of a concept like, You should always say thank you, hides an entire world of possibilities. If I give you a drink of water and you say thank you, then I’m more likely to want to give you another one should you become thirsty again. But if I give you a drink of water and you don’t have the courtesy to say thank you, then I’m more likely to figure you can get your own darn glass of water next time.

The same is true with the universe—not to anthropomorphize it or ascribe to it the characteristics of a petty ego. It’s just that whether we’re talking about other people, or the Creator itself, there is something about the expression of gratitude that opens doors that do not otherwise open. This is a spiritual fact.

As Angeles Arrien makes eloquently clear in this lovely treatise on the powers of gratitude, the modern mind is deeply in need of a more contemplative dimension. Blessings, mercy, tenderness, nature, forgiveness, and compassionate relationships exist in our world, yet they compete with the noise and obsessions of video games, computers, greed, and peer pressure. We know we’re off balance, yet we often struggle to realign ourselves. Rarely do we realize that if we simply take time to marvel at life’s gifts and give thanks for them, we activate stunning opportunities to increase their influence in our lives. Throughout her career, Arrien has been one of our most able guides along the path to restoring and revitalizing our psyche. With this book, she continues to weave her unique and magical spell; she deepens our understanding of words and concepts we already appreciate intellectually but might not feel in our hearts. Through her tutelage, we come to understand these concepts on the level that counts: deep within us.

Simply reading this book is an act of power, as it gently casts superfluous considerations out of your mind and focuses you on things that matter most. You will reengage truths that most of us already know yet keep at an emotional distance. What you knew, but only abstractly, will become knowledge that both informs your soul and transforms your life.

Reading this book and learning from its lessons, you will focus on the blessings and spiritual treasures of life—from the beauty of a bird’s song to an act of selfless service. Such things will become as meaningful and as important to you as any material thing you value now. Your mind will strengthen, your heart will soften, your relationship to nature will be enriched, and your own internal landscape will be re-greened. You will see yourself and others in a more beautiful and truthful light. And you will be deeply grateful for all of the above.

In my own path as a seeker and teacher, I have greatly valued the work of Angeles Arrien. Within the pages of Living in Gratitude, we receive more of her wise and most excellent guidance, helping us deepen our journeys into the light at the center of who we truly are. And with her presence in our lives, we are blessed.

—Marianne Williamson, author of The Age