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    Maxims of Manhood Presents ManLibs: Fill-in Fun for REAL (adjective) Men
    Maxims of Manhood Presents ManLibs: Fill-in Fun for REAL (adjective) Men
    Maxims of Manhood Presents ManLibs: Fill-in Fun for REAL (adjective) Men
    Ebook139 pages2 hours

    Maxims of Manhood Presents ManLibs: Fill-in Fun for REAL (adjective) Men

    By Max Biggs

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Not to be confused with Mad Libsthose lame things kids doManLibs was created by guys for guys. You still fill in the blanks, but there's no need to watch your mouth; in this case, words that make your girlfriend cringe earn you extra points.

    Based on the original Maxims of Manhood, here's your chance to make your own rules for the situations every real man needs to know how to handle, such as:
    • Keeping an empty urinal between you and the next guy
    • Properly ordering a steak
    • Keeping one-night stands classy
    • Slapping another guy on the ass
    Add booze and you've got a great way to kill time between games.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherSimon & Schuster
    Release dateMay 18, 2011
    ISBN9781440526916
    Maxims of Manhood Presents ManLibs: Fill-in Fun for REAL (adjective) Men

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      Book preview

      Maxims of Manhood Presents ManLibs - Max Biggs

      THE

      MAXIMS

      OF

      MANHOOD

      PRESENTS:

      MANLIBS

      FILL-IN FUN FOR

      REAL ___________ MEN

      (adjective)

      MAX BIGGS

      1

      Avon, Massachusetts

      Copyright © 2011 Simon and Schuster

      All rights reserved.

      This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any

      form without permission from the publisher; exceptions are

      made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.

      Published by

      Adams Media, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

      57 Littlefield Street, Avon, MA 02322. U.S.A.

      www.adamsmedia.com

      ISBN-10: 1-4405-2657-5

      ISBN-13: 978-1-4405-2657-2

      eISBN-10: 1-4405-2691-5

      eISBN-13: 978-1-4405-2691-6

      Printed in the United States of America.

      10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

      Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

      Biggs, Max.

      The maxims of manhood presents: manlibs / Max Biggs.

      p. cm.

      ISBN 978-1-4405-2657-2

      1. Men—Humor. I. Biggs, Max. II. Title.

      PN6231.M45W54 2011

      818’.5407—dc22

      2011008805

      This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional advice. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought.

      —From a Declaration of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the American Bar

      Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations

      Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their product are claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear in this book and Adams Media was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been printed with initial capital letters.

      This book is available at quantity discounts for bulk purchases.

      For information, please call 1-800-289-0963.

      CONTENTS

      INTRODUCTION

      1. YOU ONLY RECOGNIZE PRIMARY COLORS

      2. TIP WELL

      3. KEEP AN EMPTY URINAL BETWEEN YOU AND THE NEXT GUY

      4. PACK TWO PAIRS OF SHOES OR LESS

      5. OUTPERFORM THE GPS

      6. USE THE DIAPER BAG ONLY FOR DIAPERS

      7. NEVER SWITCH YOUR FAVORITE TEAM

      8. SLAP HIS ASS

      9. STAY UNTIL THE END

      10. ONLY FEAR ONE THING

      11. SHE MUST BE HALF YOUR A E, PLUS SEVEN

      12. NEVER ASK FOR HER NUMBER

      13. ALWAYS HOLD THE DOOR

      14. GO FOR RBIS, NOT BATTING AVERAGE

      15. KEEP THE ONE-NIGHT STANDS CLASSY

      16. DON’T TAKE THINGS SLOW

      17. COUNT PROTEIN, NOT CALORIES

      18. MAN THE GRIL

      19. ORDER FOOD THAT’S SIMPLER, LARGER, AND FATTIER THAN THE GIRL’S

      20. NO STRAWS , CHERRIES, OR UMBRELLAS

      21. AVOID BOTH PEDICURES AND TOE FUNGUS

      22. PROPERLY ORDER A STEAK

      23. SHOP WITHOUT GOING SHOPPING.

      24. NO BATHS

      25. ONLY WEAR SUNGLASSES WHEN IT’S SUNNY

      26. SPEND MORE ON BEER THAN HAIRCUTS

      27. NO FAKE AND BAKES

      28. SHAVE

      29. UNDERDRINK THE BOSS

      30. KICK UP, KISS DOWN

      31. DANCE ONLY UNDER DURESS

      32. KNOW HOW TO CHUG A BEER. KNOW NOT TO

      33. CONTROL THE WORLD WITH TECHNOLOGY

      34. DON’T BE THAT GUY

      35. YOU CAN HANDLE SILENCE

      36. A BUDDY’S FIGHT IS YOUR FIGHT

      37. MASTER THE BRO-HUG

      38. NO POKING ON FACEBOOK

      39. GIVE VALENTINE’S DAY THE RESPECT IT DESERVES

      40. UNHOOK THE BRA WITHOUT HELP

      41. NEVER SHIT WHERE YOU EAT

      42. EVEN THE TRAIN HAS DIGITS

      43. YOUR DOG MUST BE LARGER THAN A TOASTER

      44. KEEP HER OFF THE POLE

      45. IT’S ONLY A FLESH WOUND

      ABOUT THE AUTHOR

      INTRODUCTION

      A real man will admit that sometimes men need guidelines—hence The Maxims of Manhood.

      An even manlier task? Making your own rules. That’s what you get to do with ManLibs. You remember Mad Libs, right? The fill-in-the-blank game that we enjoy if we’re on a road trip or if we’re twelve years old. And yes, yes, we know what you’re thinking . . . Really? Wouldn’t Maxim 101 be No Mad Libs?

      Yes and no. These aren’t Mad Libs. They’re Man Libs. They’re carved from the tome of masculinity, letting you tweak, change, and redefine the very rules of our gender. The key to success, of course, is using random words that yield a nonsensical and sometimes-funny outcome. (Confession: This is also the methodology used in the original Maxims of Manhood.)

      You know how to play, right? Good. Skip this paragraph. (On the off-off-off chance that you don’t know the rules, it’s simple: one person reads the prompts from the numbered lists—asking for nouns, verbs, etc.—before they share the context of the story. After you’ve chosen nouns and verbs and junk, you then read the Maxim with the words you’ve chosen. Jeesh. Don’t tell anyone—ever—that you had to read these instructions. I’m embarrassed for both of us.)

      Play with some friends, or play with yourself. You’re good at that.

      KEY: PARTS OF SPEECH

      Adjective—A descriptive word; e.g., handsome, douchey.

      Adverb—Typically answers questions such as how?, in what way?, when?,

      where?, and to what extent? and often ends in -ly; e.g., quickly,

      skankily.

      Noun—A person, place, or thing; e.g., postman, nipple.

      Verb—An action word; e.g., jump, burp.

      You’re like Luke Skywalker, challenging the conventional wisdom of Uncle Owen,

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