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    Fangless: American-English Edition
    Fangless: American-English Edition
    Fangless: American-English Edition
    Ebook79 pages25 minutes

    Fangless: American-English Edition

    By Elias Zapple

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    American-English Edition 

    In a spooky house deep in the mountains of Transylvania lives Nicu, a fangless vampire. Yes, that's right, fangless! Teased by his friends, taunted by his big brother and almost disowned by his parents, Nicu will do anything he can to get his fangs and beat the bullies.
     
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherHeads or Tales Press
    Release dateMar 3, 2018
    ISBN9788827500033
    Fangless: American-English Edition
    Author

    Elias Zapple

    Elias Zapple was not born in 1922, as some would have you believe. His date of birth is not really relevant anyway. What is relevant is that he arose out of a tulip that was growing in some old granny's garden in Camberwell. How he got to be in a tulip is not really clear, nor is it clear how he got out of the tulip, and years later wrote the smash hit musical, 'Love, be a Stranger', which was an international flop. After that success, he went on to work as a 19th century Victorian chimney sweep, when he was inspired to write the acclaimed series of books entitled 'Duke & Michel'. It is believed the fumes from the chimneys did so much damage to Elias, that it was a miracle he ever ate a cupcake again.  Later, he travelled back in time to the present, and went on a series of trips to many foreign and distant lands. During these travels, Elias met and listened to many interesting people, choosing to ignore all of them. He did, however, learn a couple of things: i) the earth is flat; and ii) you should never eat a banana when it's not ripe. Many questions are often asked by his adoring public. Are you human? How many chimpanzees can fit inside a fridge? What is that thing growing on the side of your head? To which Mr Zapple has always smiled, turned away and swum off into the sunset; having only once been bitten by an unfriendly shark. Elias Zapple continues to work towards the unification of Korea, and writing children's stories that parents will spend huge sums of money on. He wishes you all to know that every penny made from the books will go straight into his bank account, which he will then spend on a lavish, new tent.

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      Book preview

      Fangless - Elias Zapple

      1

      Romania

      In Eastern Europe there’s a country called Romania, and in Romania there’s a region called Transylvania. In the south and east of Transylvania there are mountains called the Carpathian Mountains, and in the deepest darkest valley of the Carpathian Mountains, surrounded by tall dead trees without a leaf to be found, there’s a house.

      This was no ordinary house like you or I live in. This was a dark, crooked and grim-looking house, with grime, dust and cobwebs all over it, and indeed, in it. This house also had no doors, as the occupants did not need doors. For all they needed were windows to fly in and out of.

      Now unless you just picked up or downloaded this book without somehow looking at the title and jumped to this bit, then perhaps you would assume that this house was occupied by birds, or by people trying to be a bit different. You’d be wrong. For this house was occupied by a family of vampires, and every night these vampires would turn into bats and fly out of the windows in search of humans, so that they could drink the humans’ blood and satisfy their hunger.

      2

      Nicu

      The youngest of this family of vampires was Nicu, a 9 year-old vampire who was podgy, and very short for his age. However, that was the least of his problems, as he was also fangless.

      Like human beings when getting their adult teeth, vampires normally get their fangs at any point after the age of 6, (normally between 6 and 8). Unlike Nicu, his older, spiky-haired brother Adam had a great set of fangs, the sharpest in all of Romania for his age, and had gotten them when he had just turned 6.

      He was also an expert at turning into a bat, flying, and biting a human’s neck within the time it took Nicu to unscrew his bottle of freshly-drained blood – this was a ready-made drink for young vampires before they got their fangs, for if vampires don’t drink blood they turn into vegetarian cats, and as there’s not a lot

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