Little Wild
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About this ebook
Little Wild explores the performance of masculinity in contemporary Canada, with a focus on how toxic masculinity relates to mental health, aggression, substance abuse and crises of identity. Through the reimagining of family histories and personal experiences, the poems in this collection exact a representation of a young man in conflict with outdated ideals of virility, struggling to redefine himself on his own terms. Little Wild is a provocative and revealing portrayal of masculinity as it is understood—and misunderstood—in a contemporary and ever-changing context. The poems are as powerful and unsettling as they are stark, combining unsentimental imagery of the natural world with first-person commentary, while exploring narratives of boyhood, adolescence and adulthood.
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Little Wild - Curtis LeBlanc
I
Good for Nothing
I had to fall off a ladder to the stars
and break my right forearm and flunk calculus
so as predicted at my initial birth
I’d be good for nothing but to tell you this.
—Philip Levine
Narrowing
I used to bathe in shallow water
until it lost all warmth, ignore toy trolls
and colour-changing plastic dolls
to pick caulking from the corners
where off-white tiles met porcelain tub.
I would pull at the gummy seams,
fingers sponged and wrinkled, until
my father came to dry me off.
His shoulders hunched, peppery curls
combed always to the left, he’d beat his chest
and howl like an ape, smack the walls
with his hands and bounce on the balls
of his feet, and I’d laugh and laugh
and hold my own arms out for him
to lift me, wrap me in an even heat.
Now here we are, damp
from our separate showers,
and ready for sleep, or nearly.
He asks me again, Who have you
hurt today? Refuses to see
that the answer is No one,
that his eyes are mine and
his shoulders have narrowed.
Same ten-dollar strip mall haircut,
little wild left in either of us.
Steel-Cut Oats
One small pot of steel-cut oats
on the stove, glutenous, ladled
into my bowl despite my contempt.
Mom said they would be as good
as the instant variety. Better even.
But too little brown sugar, absence
of additives—what they lacked in flavour,
they made up for in mouth feel. I gagged
with each spoonful, seated at the island
in the kitchen where every day I sat eating
one thing or another. But not this.
Do what I say, she said. Never
in her life had she seen a child
so ungrateful, me on the kitchen stool,
made to scoop the pale gruel
through the crack of my lips
until nothing was left in the blue
plastic bowl. I had never been held
to anything like she had been held to
that afternoon behind the cashier’s counter
at the bank in Londonderry Mall, a sawed-off
shotgun pressed to her chest, told to fill
a duffle bag with petty cash.
Do what they say, was protocol
back then. Get help
after the threat has left.
Blood in a Place I Could Not Yet Understand
It was harder to say no back then,
when Paul threatened to sue me
after I told him I wouldn’t play
GI Joe beneath the weevil-chewed spruce
on the island of my cul-de-sac where he
always came to visit his aunt. I liked him fine.
He told stories as tall as that spruce, sometimes
taller. But when he tracked