Because I Said So!: Family Squabbles & How to Handle Them
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About this ebook
For parents everywhere whose kids complain about helping around the house, stall over homework, and bicker with one other, help is at hand. With compassion and humor, this book takes on the most common points of kid-induced friction—those altercations and annoying behaviors that drive parents most nuts—and offers quick, practical how-to advice for how to handle them. It explains to parents how to navigate everyday challenges, from helping kids learn responsibility for their possessions to getting them to stop tattling, whining, and using disrespectful language. Complete with solutions, helpful hints, and interesting bits of information, this indispensable guide offers exasperated parents the emotional support and reassurance they need to reduce friction and increase communication in the household.
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Because I Said So! - Lauri Berkenkamp
Serenity
Because I Said So! That’s Why!
You open up the doors to your minivan and discover that the interior of your car is a rolling Superfund site. Backpacks, candy wrappers, old juice boxes, and random pieces of paper are strewn from end to end, so you go back inside and ask your kids to clean it out. Before you can finish saying, Clean out the car
your kids start arguing.
Why do I have to do it?
I never leave a mess in the car.
The car’s not that dirty—you can just step over that stuff, anyway.
It’s too hot in the car! I’ll get sick to my stomach.
I don’t know how to clean it up. I’m too little.
No labor lawyer on earth could outlast your children in negotiations over why they shouldn’t perform the task you ask them to accomplish. You are stuck either doing the job yourself because it takes less time than arguing with your little Johnnie Cochrans, or resorting to your favorite phrase, Why do you have to do it? Because I said so!
Sound familiar? Don’t worry—help is at hand. Because I Said So!
Family Squabbles and How to Handle Them takes on the most common areas of family friction—those altercations and annoying behaviors that drive parents nuts—and offers quick and practical advice for how to handle them.
Everyday squabbles, from hassles over homework to kids who break their curfew or tattle on one another are covered in detail, complete with solutions, helpful hints, and interesting bits of information that you never thought you’d need—until you became a parent.
How to Use This Book
This book should be used as a guide; the squabbles depicted here have actually happened and certainly will again. The solutions are based on solid advice and common sense, and acknowledge that while family squabbles may drive you nuts, they can make you laugh—eventually.
The book is divided loosely into sections that address family squabbles in similar areas. Wondering how to avoid resorting to threats to get your kids to behave? Look in Section 1: I Am Going to Turn This Car Around! for solutions to problems with bickering, tattling, and general family mayhem. Section 2: Nag, Nag, Nag has advice and suggestions for helping your family work together to keep the household running smoothly, and Section 3: Crime and Punishment addresses those times when life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness run afoul of family law. Finally, the last section, Ideas and Suggestions for Family Serenity is an appendix that offers advice and helpful hints for maintaining your family’s sanity, including a list of age-appropriate household chores and suggestions for family rules.
Surviving Family Squabbles
Whether you’re facing off against your mutinous preteen, dealing with an adolescent on hormone overload, or trying to cope with your No, no, no!
-torious toddler, keep in mind the following survival skills to get you through the trying times of being a parent.
Know when to say when. Sometimes the hardest thing for kids is to back away from a confrontational situation, so make it easier by stepping aside first.
Keep the lines of communication open. Your kids may be driving you nuts because they have stuff on their mind that they aren’t ready to talk about—or don’t even know is bothering them. Listen carefully to what they say to you, and let them finish griping or explaining before you jump in either to dismiss or try to solve their problem. Sometimes all they need is a willing and open ear.
Shake it off. It’s hard not to stay mad when your kids have spent an entire afternoon arguing with each other, but it’s important to shake off your resentment and move on when conflicts are over. Kids have an amazing ability to fight like tigers one minute and the next minute move happily on to another activity. Take your cue from them and move on to a better, happier place. Think of it as Mommy or Daddy Nirvana.
Model good behavior. If you want your kids to pitch in and help, treat each other with respect, and in general be good, productive citizens of your world, show them how. You are your kids’ most important role model, so demonstrate through your own actions what you would like them to be.
Maintain a sense of humor. Sure, it’s not funny right NOW that your kids are tattling like maniacs, or that your son wants you to pay him to clean his own room, but remember that the things that drive you nuts right now will make great family stories a couple of years down the road.
And remember that while every day as a parent is an opportunity to say, Because I said so!,
you can learn strategies for coping with family friction to help you enjoy, rather than endure, parenthood.
Section 1
I Am Going to Turn This car Around!
Incidents of Bickering, Tattling, Surliness, and General Family Mayhem
Never Can Say Goodbye
You and your kids are at a neighborhood picnic, enjoying the happy bedlam that only cluster housing and potluck food can induce. Your kids are playing a giant game of kick ball, and you’re happily being updated on every tidbit of neighborhood news. Life is good.
The festivities slowly wind down and you’re ready to head back home. You track down your kids to give them the time to go
signal. Two come trotting up, panting and sweaty. Your eight-year-old son, however, pretends not to notice you. You then call him, and he develops a sudden case of deafness. Finally, you head over to the kickball game to collect him in person, and your usually charming child is suddenly transformed into Damien from The Omen.
He starts to argue that it’s too early to leave, the game isn’t over, no one else is going home yet, and he doesn’t think you’re being fair. Being firm but friendly, you tell him you’re glad he had a great time but it’s time to go home. Now.
He slams the kickball on the ground, stomps his feet, and yells, I don’t want to go! You’re being so mean!
Then he stomps off toward the car, waving his arms and muttering to himself about the injustice of being your son, while you trail behind, carrying a bowl of leftover potato salad and a potload of guilt.
What just happened, and how