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    Old Fogies, Unite!
    Old Fogies, Unite!
    Old Fogies, Unite!
    Ebook54 pages36 minutes

    Old Fogies, Unite!

    By Sam Almond

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    About this ebook

    One of the things that will happen to all of us, if we are lucky, is that we will grow old. In Old Fogies, Unite!, author, Sam Almond, takes a humorous and witty look at what happens if you are lucky enough to reach the age of 90 and beyond.
    In the introduction, and having reached the grand age of 90 himself, the author tells us what he believes constitutes an old fogey and in so doing, has devised an amusing system for categorising different levels of old fogey, or, as they are referred to in the book, ‘OF’s’. For example, if you are over 90, you are a bona fide OF, if you reach the grand age of 100 or over, you are a super OF! If you manage to reach 120, then you are an unbelievable OF!
    This sets the theme for the book which looks at each day as a stepping stone to gaining more knowledge and experience whatever your age. The author takes a tongue-in-cheek look at where old fogies reside and gives the reader several tips, including a suggestion to count the number of rooms in the house (including the WC) and then make sure you have that number of pairs of spectacles so that you can put one in every room.
    There are quips, quotes and insights which introduce a new comedy genre: elder humour. Generational vocabulary gaps, miscommunications, preoccupation with health and comforts, foibles, disguises (for ageing), even physical limitations – all can have their funny sides when we’re laughing at ourselves and this is exactly what this book sets out to achieve.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMelrose Books
    Release dateAug 17, 2018
    ISBN9781912026074
    Old Fogies, Unite!
    Author

    Sam Almond

    At age 88, Sam Almond happily works 7 days a week. Each weekday he profitably trades international Options and Contracts for Difference - see his Ebooks on both strategies - and at the weekends he writes books, nicely interspersed with leisure and sun holiday brakes.

    Read more from Sam Almond

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      Book preview

      Old Fogies, Unite! - Sam Almond

      Chapter 1

      INTRODUCTION

      Hail to all Old Fogies.

      At age 90 I am an Old Fogey, so, if I meet you we can agree, smile at each other, and unite easily.

      The Chambers dictionary states the word ‘Fogy’ or ‘Fogey’ (‘Fogies’ in the plural) just means ‘an old person’ – nothing derogatory or demeaning.

      But what constitutes an Old Fogey? (OFs for short in this book.) I have taken upon myself (someone had to) the designation of OFs as follows:-

      As a bona fide OF, I can state that those kids of 17, 18, 19 (and at least up to their mid-twenties) think us OFs are a bunch of decrepit old duffers (OK, the occasional one is), but we have made it to the upper echelons of life, and, on reaching here, we know that at least some of ‘the kids’ know about half of very little about real life, or perhaps even less. Of course, we can’t tell them that, but we can think it … because our thinking apparatus is in good order, hopefully, even if other parts are perhaps not so good, or wilting (let’s be realistic!)

      But on going round the block so many times, we have inevitably bumped into some walls, some corners have been knocked off us, we have tripped occasionally and appropriately blasphemed – totally justifiably. We have learned and learned and we are all better and wiser than we used to be, now, in these later years. Of course, we sensibly keep it to ourselves, mildly gloating just a tad.

      We have seen that every day we glean something new. Each day is a stepping stone to more knowledge and experience. So, every time you meet another Old Fogey, know that he or she is a little akin to yourself. Give him, or her, a silent cheer, and unite!

      You may possibly wonder what OFs talk about when they meet each other. If you see two clever looking OFs in earnest conversation, you might be convinced that they are weighing up all the ills of the world, and, in their wisdom, providing solutions.

      I could almost guarantee you would be way off the mark. They would probably be discussing a major topic for them – ‘pills’, no less. Each would be regaling the other with the pills they take, their ailments, and how they are being cured – a sort of genteel slogging match, in fact. Possibly it might be number two topic – how the National Health Service is just not good enough. This would be fair comment as the NHS is mainly concerned and active for OFs (and bloody well getting bogged down with them too).

      After all that, the conversation would swivel on to

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