The Taste of Champagne Urge

© 2014 Lyndon Walters. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 01/25/2016

ISBN: 978-1-4918-8297-9 (softcover)

ISBN: 978-1-4918-8299-3 (eBook)

ISBN: 978-1-4969-8833-1 (audio)

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Trailer

Trailer

Action!

Part One

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Part Two

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

Chapter 41

Chapter 42

Chapter 43

Chapter 44

Chapter 45

Chapter 46

Chapter 47

Chapter 48

Chapter 49

Chapter 50

Chapter 51

Chapter 52

Chapter 53

Chapter 54

Chapter 55

Chapter 56

Part Three

Chapter 57

Chapter 58

Chapter 59

Chapter 60

Cut!!!!

Epilogue

The Taste Of Champagne Urge

WIK-ID-FICTION ©

Storyline, Locations, Characters and Concepts: Lyndon Walters ©

Relationships, Personal Development, Personal Performance

'I'-Coaching ©

www.lyndonwalters.com

info@lyndonwalters.com

Cover Art Concept, Characterisation and Imagery: Lyndon Walters ©

Cover Art Interpretation: Marine Lewis ©

Cover Art Illustration: Marine Lewis ©

This Book Cover is a joint Project between Lyndon Walters and Marine Lewis

Marine Lewis owns the Intellectual Property Rights for the image for the Book

Cover for 'The Taste of Champagne Urge'

Marine Lewis has given her full permission for the author, Lyndon Walters and his Publisher to use the image for the cover, any promotional materials and events with regards to his book,

WIK-ID-FICTION ©

'The Taste of Champagne Urge'

marinelewis@yahoo.co.uk

THANKS

Very special thanks to AYR, MCW and to the rest of my magnificent family. I love each of you unconditionally, for your unwavering faith in me, but, most of all, thank you for being uniquely you.

I am especially grateful to the artist, Marine Lewis, for taking on the challenge to produce the cover for my book. Your dedication to the Project, your perseverance, patience, for being available and your determination and focus to attend to every tiny detail which I tasked you to do so often, speaks volumes about your professionalism. I admire your awesome talent which has helped to bring the two major characters to life.

A huge thank you for giving me and my Publisher, AuthorHouse, permission for using the image for the purpose of the cover for my book and to use as promotional material at events regarding my book, 'The Taste of Champagne Urge' 'Wik-ID-Fiction'. This in itself is a very selfless contribution.

It is also fitting to thank my 'Universal Family', which transcends colour, race, gender, language and beliefs. You know who you are. Over the years, your personal, genuine contributions have helped to shape me into who I am, spiritually. You've helped me to enrich but appreciate my learning experiences and to fulfilling some of my purpose and mission on this planet. Our deep commitment to the core element of trust has helped each of us to develop an uncomplicated long, lasting bonding in our unconditional relationships. We have proven that it is fitting to respect our uniqueness as well as each others' cultural 'values and beliefs', without prejudice, whilst maintaining our own. I feel honoured that you've shared all those learning moments with me, accepting my philosophies on the importance of the principles of structure, morals and scruples.

Thanks to all the individuals, who have taken the time to listen to or read any part of these Fictional Virtual Realities Scenarios ©. Your time, interest, indulgence, feedback, unconditional commitment, consistency, resilience and patience are appreciated. I'm forever grateful to each of you.

NOTE

The locations, characters, names, occupations, organisations, environments, situations, storyline and concepts are all thoroughly fictitious. It is possible and likely probable that individuals might choose to perceive otherwise. The author takes neither responsibility nor is he in control of what or how others might choose to think or feel, what they might choose to say or do about these Fictional Virtual Realities Scenarios ©.

It must be understood that this book is not Sci-Fi but just sheer imaginative creativity of finding and utilising a virtual platform in 'The World of Space'. The language of the population of the parallel virtual planet of Asteroidia, including the exotic continents, countries and islands in the World of Space, was via vibrations and instinctive behaviours only. There is no alphabet, dictionary, vocabulary or verbal form of language. All translation necessary to explain the behaviours exhibited within the Fictional Virtual Realities Scenarios © are subject to the understandings and interpretations of the 'beliefs and values' of the various Tribal population occupying the Royal Royal Dis-United Stately Kingdoms of Asteroidia altogether. In order to translate and reflect their behaviours, Professor Walynski, the man they called 'The Professor' and their army of official observers were beamed up from the parallel planet Earth. They were tasked to interpret those behaviours, based on each Tribe's traditional and cultural 'values and beliefs'. It must be stressed that the translations are interpreted by way of individual perceptions only and is subject to 'human errors' like on the parallel planet Earth, probably!

Even with their best intentions, it is probable that individual perceptions might have been partially or wholly misinterpreting those behaviours like often happens on planet Earth. They may not have been accurate representations or intentions of the particular individuals to which they refer. It must therefore be concluded that some meanings or explanations might have been lost in translation, somewhat, maybe!

As all behaviours were initially uploaded from Planet Earth, Hifle and Pifle had agreed that the consequences of those behaviours, not withstanding how they might impact individuals, be provided as a 'Resource of Restorative Learning' for Planet Earth.

The Taste of Champagne Urge!

WIK-ID-FICTION ©

TRAILER

TRAILER

O nce upon a moment in time there was a man with two brains. Their names were Hifle and Pifle. They had been conjoined mental, physical, spiritual and vibrating twins that had known each other since the moment of conception. Hifle and Pifle called themselves the mental, physical, spiritual and vibrating 'Siamese Friends' . That's what they were most of the time. No matter how much the other attempted to disguise its thoughts, each always seemed to know instinctively what the other was thinking or doing. They were virtual 'mind readers'. Some individuals might say that no one can actually 'mind read' whilst others might seek to prove that they can, probably! It is a common assumption amongst individuals that 'mind-reading' exists. Often, there are individuals who say, I know what you're thinking, do they not? Hifle and Pifle believed that the 'mind-reading' phenomenon is a highly skilled technical ability that transcends generations, race, age, gender, environments, situations, issues or values and beliefs.

In the case of the two brains, Hifle believed he can read Pifle's mind. Its explanation is that, through other means, like paralanguage (including body-language), individuals always state or show what's on their minds. Hifle's argument states that in doing so, individuals, through paralanguage, might be volunteering crucial information that they might have something to hide. Pifle, on the other hand, believes individuals, like those who have become experts at denying or even disguising how they might be feeling, always try to hide what's really on their minds. It sought not to be outdone by its peer brain. Pifle opens the debate to a wider audience. It questions, what if individuals are able to master disguising or masking paralanguage or body language?

To settle this argument between them, Hifle and Pifle both referred to the 'Lie Detector Test' as a form of proof to both their arguments. Pifle's argument in this debate is, "as been 'proven' on Planet Earth, the 'Lie Detector Test' isn't an accurate science". This brain states that the test is not 100% conclusive but is based on a set of individual actions or non-actions instead. The two brains agree the function of the 'Lie Detector Test' is limited to a set of particular patterns. They explain that, during interrogation, under 'controlled conditions', nervous impulses formulate a pattern which is perceived to indicate whether responses from individuals are said to be 'true' or 'false'. The 'burden of proof' rest solely with the frequency of 'peaks' and 'troughs' on the polygraph display which is installed by the 'guilt-ridden', nervous individuals, assumedly! Hifle believes that the 'Lie Detector Test', being accepted as the 'truth machine' has helped to convict many individuals of crimes that they might not have committed, maybe! It demonstrates that individuals, who believe the 'Lie Detector Test' to be 'foolproof', often submit to its assumed 'efficacy'.

On the other hand, Pifle said that individuals, who strongly disbelieve the Lie Detector's efficacy, have used a form of mind control to hide the 'truth'. It thought that this might be done through developing a particular strategic mindset based on individuals not owning their unacceptable behaviours or negatively-charged emotions. They might have been capable of becoming oblivious of them at will, perhaps! Even when guilty, those individuals were more likely not to be convicted of the alleged crimes, sometimes, probably! Hifle and Pifle wondered how others might want to evaluate their own 'values and beliefs' against their controversial views already cited above or against any other point, issue, situation, environment or relationship that might evolve within the Wik-ID-Fiction made up of Fictional Virtual Realities Scenarios © yet to be presented.

Despite their opposite views, brought about by their controversial 'values and beliefs', Hifle and Pifle decided to write a Classy, Epic Wik-ID-Fiction © Literary Docudrama Movie © made up of Fictional Virtual Realities Scenarios © together. It is about exploring what makes up relationships on a parallel virtual planet. Hifle would supply the 'stereo-hype' and Pifle the 'stereo-tripe'. They want to do this in order to develop the often acceptable 'imagery' impacting those 'programmed' and 'conditioned' mindsets of the typical 'politically accepted', contrived 'stereo-types'. These perceived 'imageries' had more than often been referred to as 'real-to-life', relentlessly, perhaps! Hifle and Pifle want their movie to draw attention towards better awareness with regards to the subtlety of deliberate 'programming' and 'conditioning' that happens below the radar. Their Classy, Epic Wik-ID-Fiction © Literary Docudrama Movie © might tend to focus individual attention as to how specific objective led psychological, superficial goals are set and achieved.

The real challenge for Hifle and Pifle's Classy, Epic Wik-ID-Fiction © Literary Docudrama Movie © was whether it would reveal the state of the various categories of relationships, their symptoms, causes, effects and consequences especially but not necessarily exclusively when the basic, meaningful constituents, like trust or quality communication, were absent. The Fictional Virtual Realities Scenarios © would confirm the importance of each quality constituent as singular, invaluable, precise, metaphorical atoms which align themselves seamlessly into the molecular fluidity needed in order to guide relationships towards potential meaningfulness and longevity. These Wik-ID-Fiction ©, Fictional Virtual Realities Scenarios © were to be shot on intriguing, tantalising, imaginary, virtual locations but were to be used to expose a variety of situational, environmental, experiential 'real-to-life' issues that even might appear similar to one's own personal experiences. They might even appear to be emotionally familiar too but might have remained unexplored, somehow! The cast represent a rainbow of colourful characters. They, individually and severally, seem aptly suitable as the 'models' that fit the 'roles', probably!

The literary cameras were focused but record the pleasant as well as bizarre happenings in the foreground as well as background and peripheral features of each scenario of Wik-ID-Fiction © creatively described on a virtual planet. It remained parallel to planet Earth in the World of Space. On this parallel virtual planet, called Asteroidia, each of The Royal Royal Dis-United Stately Kingdoms were ruled by figurehead Kings and Queens. They ruled supreme while administration and legislation were carried out by groups called Politicrats. They appeared to be elected by the indigenous population as well as the legal immigrant residents of each Kingdom, seemingly! Conversely, there were squillionaire elitists lobby groups of influence called Poly-tricksters, who deliberately attempted to rig the results of those elections but manipulated populations with impunity. In any event, there was a Most Honourable Prime Leader in each administration.

Hifle and Pifle's Classy, Epic Wik-ID-Fiction © Literary Docudrama Movie © made up of Fictional Virtual Realities Scenarios © would be exposed to but directly influenced by adopting the 'values and beliefs', 'emotions' and 'behaviours' but include the relevant attitudes and mindsets practiced on its parallel planet, Earth. These were being transposed and uploaded to the parallel virtual planet called Asteroidia. The consequences that impact the relationships on Asteroidia would be beamed back to planet Earth. Hifle and Pifle think these reflective exposures of mirrored consequences, from the parallel virtual planet of Asteroidia, might act as a platform from which the greatest model of 'Restorative Learning' for the 'victims' of planet Earth can take place. The two brains stressed that there might even be proof that cloning and living someone else's 'emotions', 'behaviours' as well as their 'values and beliefs' is what inflate egos to become as bloated as the stomachs of those, who purposely overeat at a feast because the food is free. Hifle and Pifle were curious at minimum but intrigued potentially as to what might instigate the attitudes, mindsets and subsequent behaviours that impact relationships on the parallel virtual planet of Asteroidia, perhaps!

To better understand how 'values and beliefs' help to supersaturate egos, shape attitudes, establish mindsets and produce behaviours which can impact relationships in either a meaningless or meaningful manner, Hifle and Pifle engaged a neutral independent researcher, Professor Walynski, of the Walynski Institute from planet Earth, to establish authentic Research and Reports in order to support the core implications of their Classy, Epic Wik-ID-Fiction'©, Literary Docudrama Movie ©. They also invited a Coach/Practitioner, the man they call 'The Professor' as well from planet Earth. His job is self-evident.

As joint authors, Hifle and Pifle would brainstorm alternate Wik-ID-Fiction ©, Fictional Virtual Realities Scenarios ©, represented by the chapters in this book, by reading each other's minds, assumedly! They agreed that neither Hifle nor Pifle wanted to devise a standard plot for the scenarios. Instead, they wanted to rely entirely on the potential creativity of their imagination, the contexts of the messages from their intuitions and the autonomic instructions from their instincts. They wrote each scenario as if they were seeing the movie through their own and each other's brains. Both Hifle and Pifle wanted to prove that they are able to read each other's mind also.

This 'Trailer' might have started the process of installing a degree of curiosity, maybe! It remains the audiences' responsibility how intrigued they might choose to become. Each chapter has the potential to test individual interest, focus and concentration beyond where individuals' had been before, probably! The power of suspense might just grip individuals so tightly that they might start to fear that Hifle and Pifles' literary visual mastery make the scenarios seem as 'real-to-life' as they dare test individuals' imagination.

The two brains might want to inveigle individuals to live their chosen character. They have made it easy to identify the victims but have designed the Wik-ID-Fiction ©, Fictional Virtual Realities Scenarios © in such a way that it is easy for individuals not only to share but to live the experiences of the victims as they happen. Hifle and Pifle want individuals to sense what it feels like to be part of the various categories of relationships. They encourage individuals to indulge in practising empathy and are sure that if they have never done so before, individuals will have the strongest emotional pull towards this most important constituent relevant to all categories of relationships. It might feel so magnetic that it is likely to change how one might perceive another after that particular experience. Is it not?

Hifle and Pifle know that it is possible that some individuals might not have the strong resolve it takes to continue this journey from here on in but that it is highly probable that some individuals are at least curious enough to want to experience the first scenario, at least, maybe! They realise that each individual has the freedom to choose to continue the journey in their own time but dare them to put the book down for more than a few moments to regulate their breathing, perhaps! In making Literary Docudrama Movie ©, Hifle and Pifle have seamlessly adorned the chapters with Fictional Virtual Realities Scenarios © in this book entitled, 'The Taste of Champagne Urge' and 'Wik-ID-Fiction' ©. They agreed this was a huge Project and as such require independent observers to experience the magic of creation and the power of influence of these Wik-ID-Fiction ©, Fictional Virtual Realities Scenarios ©. Pifle agreed he'd be better at 'Producing' the Classic, Epic Literary Docudrama Movie © while Hifle preferred to 'Direct' it.

Sitting in the Director's Chair, Hifle was poised with the megaphone at his mouth.

ACTION!

The Taste of Champagne Urge!

WIK-ID-FICTION ©

PART ONE

CHAPTER 1

I t was a cold January winter's day in a Kingdom called Spaceville. The flurry of acid orange coloured, fluffy, hand shaped flakes of snow had been falling for over four days continuously. Most of the roofs bore the evidence but some had collapsed due to the heavy weight. All the same, the beauty of the snow which had accumulated in the gardens and on the pavements of the streets seemed like Christmas Day in Victorian times on Planet Earth. Through lack of heating, most schools were closed. In their gardens, some children were busy making snowmen. Others threw snowballs at their friends and families who joined in the fun. Where there was an incline, the children used whatever they could to enjoy sliding repeatedly from top to bottom. High Roads and Streets were cleared with huge snowmobiles. This provided better access to commercial as well as private vehicles. The pavements were treated with 'salt' to enable access by pedestrians. Side streets were not considered as important by local government. Although the golden sun shone, the temperature had dropped rapidly and was now 10 degrees below freezing in Lower Ghettoborough. The snow had turned from its soft slushy appearance into sheets of hardened ice latently but was glassy in appearance. It was difficult to walk on.

Individuals defied gravity but persevered to pace up and down the pavement outside The Cobblestone Arms, the local AADC, Adult Alcoholic Drinking Centre. AADCs were known on the parallel planet, Earth, as Bars or Public Houses. A garden of flowers littered the pavement not only directly outside The Cobblestone Arms AADC but also ran for 30-40 metres in each direction to the left and right of it. The little boy wearing the blue plaid flat cloth cap and strange looking suit was conspicuous to all observers. His suit was made from a horrible blue plaid tweed material. It was far too old in fashion for one so young. The style of the suit reminded onlookers of the infamous Sherlock Holmes. It had flaps at the shoulders that hung peculiarly like the oversized ears of a bloodhound but the shape of the flat cloth cap was more akin to the cartoon character Andy Capp. The crowd both inside and outside the AADC were there to pay tribute to the dead man and his family. There was hardly a hand without a drink. Some raised their glasses but murmured their individual contributions through clenched teeth. The icy cold morning meant that their breath, though being warmed by the liquor, still streamed like smoke from chimneys each time they exhaled. Trails of moisture formed patterns from their nostrils like horses having just finished their arduous morning workout on a comparatively cold morning. Those individuals outside the AADC were the unfortunate ones. They had arrived much too late to join the others in the warmth inside. The mourners were there for the sending off of the hugely popular Earl Stagg. He was a man with a huge reputation amongst the community. There was a buzz of chatter amongst the crowd outside as they busied themselves trying to keep warm. Some huddled together to enable them to do so. Most commented about the influential Earl Stagg. Though not all the conversations were complimentary, most of the mourners stated what they knew of 'The Gaffer' as they called him. Local traffic on Vanguard High Road had come to a standstill two hours before the AADC opened. Public transport had to be diverted because of the accumulation of extra traffic attending the funeral. Police loitered around The Cobblestone Arms AADC to ensure there was a pathway for the mourners when they were ready to leave for St Hilary's, the Local Church, where Earl's coffin would eventually be taken. It was positioned inside The Cobblestone Arms AADC, so that mourners and well wishers could show their last respects before the internment at the local cemetery. Individuals were downing booze as if it was a contest for 'The Boozy Book of Records'. Orders were being shouted but appeared from every part of the AADC, seemingly. Same again, was the most frequently used form of communication. The sound of the modern tills engaged in repetitively monotone 'bleeps' formed its own type of tempo, rhythm, harmonies and melodies that reminded individuals of 'digital' Morse Coding in action. The message being funerals were viable business opportunities. Many individuals, men as well as women, had made a conscious decision to become Funeral Directors. This career was becoming even more lucrative than in the past. Independent associates like Florists, Off Licenses, Supermarkets, Banqueting Suites, Churches, Local Authority Halls as well as offices and AADCs like The Cobblestone Arms benefitted and thrived from the fact that someone had died. The oxymoron being that it takes someone to die in order to continue to keep these respective businesses alive, ironically, perhaps! Not only were there more deaths being recorded in the Kingdoms of Asteroidia but that funeral costs had been rising at dramatic levels also. It seemed less expensive to change to a healthier lifestyle in order to promote and maintain what was accepted as 'good health'. This referred to spiritual as well as mental and physical health. Unfortunately, even though Earl could more than afford to pay for professional expertise in those areas, his embracing alcohol in order to eliminate or dissolve the haunting negative emotions and blockages, that taunted his every waking moments, finally took his life. Alcohol was not the trigger of his negative emotional experiences but it established itself as a 'programmed' and 'conditioned' outlet. Earl's cultural acceptance to dealing with challenges by drinking alcohol led to his addiction to the 'legal drug'. Since he was young, Earl learnt this type of 'programming' and 'conditioning' through various promotions via the rigorous marketing campaigns to which he was exposed and had experienced. The strategy used by the marketers was to include 'subliminal conditioning' through advertisements in movies as well as other resources. These highlighted the immense habitual consumption of alcohol as the typical 'solution' to everyone's problems. Although this established practice started long before Earl was born, it seems ironic that his frequent imbibing of alcohol, affected his psyche in such a way that it rendered him an extremely highly emotional alcoholic. It is even more ironic that on the day of his funeral his friends, supporters and family were engaging in the same cultural habit that ended his life.

As a businessman, the manager of The Cobblestone Arms, Simon Crabley and others, who ran these establishments like Adult Alcoholic Drinking Centres had no option than to ensure that they profited from the sale of their stock-in-trade. Today, at the funeral of the man, who had given him the opportunity to manage The Cobblestone Arms AADC, Simon was likely to profit hugely from the sale of alcohol. As a conscientious gesture, he gave the food 'gratis'. Sandwiches, hot sausages and pies were the food provided; compliments of the landlord, Simon Crabley. Individuals nearest to the counter scuffed at the food like gannets on a mound of rubbish. As soon as a platter hit the counter or appeared amongst the crowd, many hands appeared randomly but the food vanished as if by magic. Even in this situation where significant individuals were meant to be there for the same reason; to mourn the loss of 'The Gaffer', some openly exposed there propensity towards greed. Those others, who had no possible chance of getting to the counter or near where the trays appeared, shouted their disproval at those who were being inconsiderate. The staff was being kept busy all the time. As they had difficulty making their way through the bodies that filled every square metre of floor-space inside The Cobblestone Arms AADC, the staff placed several trays of food and booze along the length of Earl Stagg's metal coffin. Individuals closer to the coffin could easily access the booze, sandwiches, hot sausages and pies. Observers learnt about the rapid pace and the pressurised conditions under which the staff had to work. Never before had Simon Crabley, the landlord, been as aware of the value of his staff until today. Even though he had hired extra personnel to help him cope, Simon could see that his regular staff needed to be appreciated more in the future. Without their contribution, what might he have done on the busiest day of his career as landlord? It is ironic how such an opportunity had presented itself through the man Simon liked to call 'The Gaffer'. His funeral was proving even more about the impact Earl was still having on the community. Simon had been the landlord for ten years. He was experienced in dealing with large crowds; especially at weekends when Association Football was being played at the local Earl Stagg Association Football Club Stadium but nothing had prepared him for the crowd that gathered for 'The Gaffer's' funeral. Simon and his family lived upstairs The Cobblestone Arms AADC. Occasionally, he'd slip away to look through the window at the crowd that gathered outside. It seemed to be growing by the minute.

The portable toilets arranged along Vanguard High Road was an eyesore even though they were necessary but there weren't enough of them. Some male individuals, either through urgency or lack of protocol, chose the side streets to relieve themselves. It was inevitable that the intake of extra fluids was bound to find its way through individual body systems, eventually. The left hand facing side wall of The Cobblestone Arms AADC adjacent to Caviar Street leading from the Harbour-Shark Council Estate to the High Road and the trees nearby were now thoroughly splattered with urine. Even on as cold a day as this the gross stench reeked havoc with many nostrils. The pungent smell was carried by the same icy wind that sent the cold air towards those that gathered outside The Cobblestone Arms AADC. Just as quickly as the warm piss had left the individuals but impacted upon the acid orange coloured icy ground it froze in the inclement temperature.

A glass Carriage with 4 horses attached stood near the bus stop parallel to The Cobblestone Arms AADC on the far side of the High Road. The funeral Staff was all dressed in black penguin-style tailed jackets, white shirts, grey and black pinstriped trousers, black and white shiny patent spats, black silk top hats and white gloves. They were reminiscent of the characters depicted in that historic period more associated with Dickens. The glass Carriage was designed on the same lines as those depicted in western movies of the past. Two huge wheels joined by the well engineered metal cross member underneath attached to springs, supported the glass Carriage and the platform at the front for its driver and companion. The leather seating was deeply buttoned but matched the black painted frame of the Carriage itself. The horses wore black blinkers, jackets with a conspicuous motif and the highly polished leather straps that reined them to the carriage. The two female personnel atop the platform sat dutifully without conversation. To all observers, their stiff, straight backed posture made them appear inanimate and without feelings. It was as if they were unaffected by the adverse weather conditions even though the wind chill factor had diminished the temperature to nearly 25 degrees below freezing. Significant observers commented about the two women's ability to withstand such torturous climate for such prolonged duration. Occasionally, few flakes of acid orange coloured snow randomly drifted aimlessly down towards the pavement. They fell on top of the sheets of solid acid orange coloured ice already underfoot. Individuals paced up and down as the biting cold wind help send the wind chill factor to 25 degrees below freezing. Some individuals slipped as they stamped their feet but hopped around like the dance around a Totem Pole; often depicted in old Western Movies. Every so often, staff appeared from inside The Cobblestone Arms AADC with platters of food to remind those outside that they were certainly not forgotten. Some individuals were asking the staff for cups of tea. Birdie Spring-Hip, the senior barmaid, rumoured to be Earl's mistress, assured the crowd that she'd arrange for tea to be served; especially for the funeral staff who wasn't allowed to imbibe in the drinking of alcohol. Funeral staff members sitting on the Carriage appeared to be well in need of some hot tea. It was clear that the black coats over their tailed jackets were not enough protection against the inclement weather. You must be freezing, you poor darlings. I'll get you some tea, Birdie said. They welcomed Birdie's kind offer. Could kill for a cuppa luv. It's parky, ain it? You wouldn't have a flask, would you, the Carriage driver asked? Sugar, Birdie queried? Yes please, the Carriage Driver replied. As Birdie set off towards the entrance of the AADC, some of the crowd outside voiced their opinion about feeling left out of the offer for tea. What about us, some voices queried? As if waiting for a trigger, they were a flood of requests. This came in the form of chanting like at an Association Football Match. We want tea . . . we want tea . . . we want tea, they chanted. Only the loud cheering interrupted the chanting. The message was quite clear and their requests echoed and could be heard by residents of the Harbour-Shark Estate that run behind The Cobblestone Arms AADC. Some residents observed that the level of the chanting and shouting sounded similar to match days at the local Stadium. Those that lived adjacent to it suffered not only from the crowd disruption but also from the noise pollution which never seemed to be addressed by the local authority. They argued that the local Stadium was not only a source of attraction for other major businesses to the community but also a good little earner for local businesses and summary stall holding entrepreneurs as well on match days. On balance, the local stadium was more than appreciated and wholesomely welcomed as a positive influence upon the community. The Stadium was owned by the late Earl Stagg. It provided much needed local jobs and other community facilitations including educational community projects for the young people. Earl Stagg Association Football Club Stadium was an asset that the little boy in the conspicuous Sherlock Holmes suite would someday own, even if he was much too young to appreciate that fact now. Even if they were rushed off their feet on this the busiest period for The Cobblestone Arms AADC, Birdie and her staff would have to meet the requests of the crowd outside. I'll do my best, Birdie promised. When she returned, there were at least another dozen staff with her. Some had trays with polystyrene cups and some with huge Tea Urns. The crowd gathered round eager to get the hot liquid down their throats in order to get some respite from the biting cold. A separate set of staff attended the Carriage drivers and the police. Each individual appreciated Birdie, her colleagues and landlord, Simon Crabley, for their humane consideration and generosity. Conversations both outside and inside The Cobblestone Arms AADC sounded more like swarms of bees than from humans. Simon, the landlord, rang the bell. It was time to toast Earl Stagg, officially. Birdie stood at the entrance of the AADC but made the announcement over the loud-hailer. There was a lull in conversation both outside and inside The Cobblestone Arms AADC now but the odd voices kept interrupting the silence. Inside, Simon looked round to see, who the culprits might be but there was no way he could tell except for someone snitching on their friends or family members. Simon reminded the attendees that they had a singular purpose for being there and that was to pay tribute to 'The Gaffer'. He demanded that they remain silent. Birdie relayed the same message from the entrance, via the loud-hailer, to the attendees outside The Cobblestone Arms AADC though her message was not as refined as Simon's. Ooouuuiii, ooouuuiiii, ooouuuiii, shush . . . shut your gob, Birdie expressed. Eventually, silence was maintained. Simon instructed his staff to inform the crowd outside it was time to get their refills in order to pay tribute to Earl Stagg. When the staff had carried out his instruction about refilling the glasses of the crowd outside, they then turned their attention to the crowd inside The Cobblestone Arms AADC. "I trust everyone glasses are full. I want to drink a toast to 'The Gaffer', Simon said. One or two individuals were still in need of refills and they did not hesitate to say so. Simon was patient enough to allow them to have their refills then when there seem to be consensus that each was suitably ready, Simon began his tribute to Earl Stagg. Just a few words about 'The Gaffer', the man who gave me this job ten years ago, he started. Yeah, good old Earl, the crowd inside chimed. The sound of the crowd inside carried to those outside. They echoed the sentiment even though theirs were slightly delayed. On hearing the delay in the sentiments, Birdie realized that Simon's voice was not being heard by those outside The Cobblestone Arms AADC. She quickly assessed the situation. Birdie retrieved but stretched a microphone towards Simon. Just a minute, Simon pleaded. The crowd waited silently for Simon to speak again. I was down on my luck when I first met 'The Gaffer'. He'd seen me nursing a pint for over an hour. As I looked into the glass of golden liquid, I began to see my situation as desperate. He came over to where I was sitting and said, . . . you won't find your answers in there will you son? I was touched that someone had noticed the emptiness in my life. Then he asked me if I wanted to work for him. Of course, I said yes and here I am today still landlord of this Adult Alcoholic Drinking Centre ten years to the day. There must be something significant about the whole thing, don't you think, Simon stated? The crowd roared their confirmation with Simon. He spoke into the microphone again but this time it seemed there was a disconnection. Simon looked towards Birdie but she shrugged her shoulders as if to indicate she didn't know the reason for the break in amplification. Simon looked at his watch but realised he had to carry on with the Tribute with or without the microphone. Raise your glasses to 'The Gaffer'. To 'The Gaffer', Simon said. To 'The Gaffer', the crowd inside the AADC said. There was a delay once again. Some could not hear Simon's voice at all but depended on the voices of others inside to trigger their individual tribute to Earl Stagg. When they said the words, the delayed voices sounded again like repetitive echoes of the original sounds reverberating from inside The Cobblestone Arms AADC. To 'The Gaffer', the crowd outside repeated. Someone started to sing For he's a Jolly Good Fellow" and that carried throughout The Cobblestone Arms AADC. Soon the refrain was being echoed by those outside as well. The singing got even a bit more rowdy as the inebriation from the liquor took its toll upon those who'd been drinking since ten o'clock that morning. The roar was as loud as the singing at Earl's local Association Football Stadium on Match days. Soon those inside The Cobblestone Arms AADC began to file out onto the High Road. Earl Stagg's coffin was being carried from The Cobblestone Arms AADC, Lower Ghettoborough. This was to be his last visit. The Pall Bearers carried it with an air of reverence and solemnity. Journalists, TV Media Film Crew, Local and National Press Photographers as well as attendees to the funeral took pictures of the coffin being carried. Many with mobile phones used the video facility as well as took pictures of the garden of floral tributes along the pavement too. Sounds of car engines roared into life as the coffin was being loaded onto the glass Carriage on the far side of the road outside The Cobblestone Arms AADC. Some wreaths and flowers from close family members were arranged quite meticulously on top of the huge white metal coffin. Other floral tributes from other family members and particular close friends were placed to both sides of it. The rest lay where they had been placed together with other tributes like the Earl Stagg Adult and Youth Academy Association Football Club's strips and scarves. Huge pictures of Earl as a young footballer on his own and with his biological father, Raleigh Daly-Weede, thank you cards from the Earl Stagg Association Football Club members and fans as well as lighted candles shielded from the breeze by their containers assembled outside The Cobblestone Arms AADC by the many well wishers.

Brigette, Earl's wife, was ushered from The Cobblestone Arms AADC by two female chaperones. Her head, covered by the black lace veil, hung forward but she looked down towards the ground. Brigette's voice was hoarse from crying but the tears kept pouring down her face. The chaperones walked either side of her; propping her up as if she was unable to walk unsupported. There was another woman, a more matronly figure, who accompanied the 12 years old boy, Duke. His shoulders moved mechanically but his thunderous voice expressed even deeper emotions. His Andy Capp blue plaid flat cloth cap was now askew rather than being straight but the blue tweed plaid Sherlock Holmes suit with the flaps on the shoulders danced according to Duke's movement. All five individuals together entered one of the extra large black stretch limousines that had been provided for family members. Police on horseback started to arrive. There were nine police horses. Each was wearing a letter of the alphabet on the side of the horses; similar to where numbers are worn by horses at an official Race Track. The police arranged their horses in a single file along Vanguard High Road but rode in a line ahead to make a smooth path for the funeral cortege. To observers standing some distance away read the words 'The Gaffer' spelt out by the nine alphabet letters on the sides of the Police horses.

The Bells at St. Hilary's Church started to chime. It was 12:00 hours precisely. Some of the crowd on the outside started to make their way in the direction of the church that was a mere half a mile east of The Cobblestone Arms AADC. Those others in their vehicles hurried to jockey for position in the funeral cortege. The Band, consisting of 2 x trumpets, 2 x saxophones, a flute, a tuba, 2 x large cymbals and a large bass drum made their way ahead of the two funeral Directors who walked slowly in front of the Horse and Carriage. The whole procession was a spectacle to behold. While the Band played 'When the Saints Go Marching In' to a Jazzy feel, the solemnity of the two funeral Director's slow march brought to mind scenes from previous observations of slow marching; like trained soldiers attending the funeral of a fallen hero. The slow progress along Vanguard High Road meant that the stretch limousine carrying Duke, his stepmother and their respective chaperones lagged behind patiently. During the drive, the enormity of the carefully arranged funeral impacted further on young Duke, so much so that he broke down. He sobbed uncontrollably. His coarse voice, similar to that of his father's, bellowed but was pitiful to hear. His chaperone tried to console him but Duke resisted her efforts. He reacted badly; shoving her hands away from him but Brigette pointed out what the chaperone had intended. Duke, she's only trying to console you, Brigette said. Duke looked over towards his stepmother, Brigette, but expressed how he was feeling inside. Shut your gob. I wish it was you that were dead, Duke shouted. Even the limousine driver was taken aback by the comment. The matronly chaperone shook her head from side to side, indicating how she felt about the boy's comment towards his stepmother. Brigette looked on helplessly. She sensed Duke's sadness at the death of his father but couldn't fathom why he should wish that she was dead. Brigette had been a good stepmother to Duke so far. Still, she resolved that it was Earl, who had spoilt Duke but encouraged him to treat her with such disdain. Brigette recalled the many occasions when she had scolded Duke, how Earl would openly oppose what she'd said in front of him. When she tried to explain to Earl that Duke would grow up confused, he would berate, threaten or even hit her in front of the child. Now, Duke had expressed himself in front of all these witnesses that he wished Brigette was dead. The tears that welled up in her eyes were representative of her emotional state; expressing about how she was feeling inside.

Raleigh Daly-Weede was a huge 6'7" muscular man that seemed to have been a frequent visitor to the gym. He was Earl's biological father. Raleigh and Sheila Stagg were in the limousine in front of Brigette's. Sheila was not Earl's biological mother but he'd grown up believing she was until he was nine years old. It was then that Sheila told Earl the truth about him being 'abandoned' at birth by his real mother, Myrna Mc Tittle. Earl was found in a cardboard box, placed most strategically just underneath an ATM Machine outside a popular Bank on a very cold January winter's morning when the temperature was some degrees colder than today, the day of his funeral. It seemed a coincidence that he was being buried in extremely similar weather conditions during the month of January. Earl was a typical Capricorn too not only being of a kind hearted nature, generous to those around him but also a power-hungry workaholic, with a heightened sense of obligation and duty, a pillar of society, concerned with being the best whilst having the ability to bringing his plans into fruition. He was vulnerable when Earl thought that he had a weakness. Sheila often pondered about Earl's predicament at those times. She had observed him closely since the day he arrived with her as a baby.

When the Social Workers had called her to say they had a new born baby to foster, both Sheila and her then husband, Count, were delighted. They quickly made arrangements for their new baby. Sheila had had several miscarriages previously but resolved she was not meant to bear children. Instead, she and Count wanted to foster and eventually adopt a child. This was the first stage of their dream come into fruition. Earl was an exceptionally large but wonderful baby who was welcomed into their home as their own. They fussed about their child in the same way as most parents do with new arrivals. Sheila recalled Earl's booming voice, even when he cried as a baby. She and Count eventually converted from fostering to successfully legally adopting Earl by the time he was two years old. Count went off to war but never came back. It was never confirmed that he was killed but Count was presumed dead while on duty in a foreign land. Earl was then five years old. As a single mother, Sheila found it quite difficult without Count but she continued to love and care for Earl. Shortly after he was told the truth at nine years old about him being 'abandoned' at birth by his biological mother, Myrna McTittle, Earl became a bully. He threw tantrums at home too but at school other children feared his 'Jekyll and Hyde' character. Sheila was often called to school to help pacify the angry young boy. Earl kept asking about his biological father too. As a single parent, Sheila found it difficult to cope with his moods and sometimes feared how he might react to further disappointments in life. It was then that Earl was deemed by the Education Authorities to be possibly suffering from more than one condition. These were presumed to be ADHD, Dyslexia and being Bipolar. At least, this rendering of labels pacified the various teachers, who had to bear not only Earl's failure to engage in lessons but also that the assessments established what seemed like 'reasonable explanations' for his unacceptable behaviours. After Sheila's dedicated search, it was by chance that someone purporting to be Earl's biological father came forward. He was checked out by the authorities involved. After DNA confirmation, the authorities were satisfied that Raleigh Daly-Weede, was Earl's biological father. Sheila asked Earl whether he wanted to meet Raleigh but Earl refused to see him. Raleigh's efforts to contact his son were thwarted over and over again but he never gave up. Eventually, on his 12th birthday, Earl surprised Sheila by asking her to contact Raleigh. He was ready to meet this stranger who claimed to be his biological father. Earl had a list of questions to which he needed answers. He particularly wanted to know why his father permitted Myrna to abandon him. Sheila recalled the day Earl met with Raleigh. She sat without comment with the Social Worker as the two individuals engaged in conversation. Raleigh explained to Earl that the relationship between him and Myrna was a stormy one. She was a naive and inexperienced 19 years old and he was 27 at the time. Earl and Myrna were still going through the 'novelty stage' of their relationship. Raleigh explained in simple terms to Earl that sometimes individuals felt attracted to each other without consideration about possible consequences. Raleigh told Earl that he was attracted to the slim 6'2" model by her ungainly gait. He related that she was very attractive and that many other men were tripping over themselves to date her. Earl heard how Raleigh and Myrna got on well at the beginning of their relationship but he remained puzzled why Myrna had not told him that she was pregnant. Raleigh explained that he and Myrna did not live together. He visited her two days per week. Generally, they communicated via text, email and phone. On the weekends, when Myrna was not working away, they went out together. It was on one of those occasions that he found that Myrna had moved from the address where he used to visit. Raleigh told Earl that it was sudden and without notification. Apart from the fact that they had had a heated discussion the previous few days about where the relationship was going, he knew of no reason why she hadn't got in touch. As for her moving without notifying him, Raleigh said he was still at a loss as to why she had moved. He had no idea that Myrna was pregnant. Raleigh paused reflectively as he searched his mind for any indicators that he had missed over the years. The only thing that came to mind as the flash-backs arrived to remind him, was that during the row over where the relationship was going Raleigh seemed to remember Myrna demanding that he marry her. Earl asked Raleigh what was his answer to which he replied that he told her it was too soon to think about marriage. It was simply a matter of him not wanting to make that kind of commitment at that time. Raleigh said he was being as honest as he could with his son but it seemed all too much for the young boy. He began to cry and the Social Worker in charge abandoned the visit on that occasion. She deemed that 12 years old Earl was far too stressed to carry on. Raleigh had no choice than to agree but asked whether Earl might see him again. There was no immediate reply from the sad child. Grief-stricken as he was, Earl did sense sincerity in his biological father's voice. All that Sheila could do was be an interested observer. Over time, Earl and Raleigh saw each other more often. In fact, weekend visits became a regular feature in their respective lives. Raleigh was a scrap metal dealer. He took Earl to work with him on Saturdays. Earl was told by Raleigh that he had to earn his pocket money. He enjoyed being with his biological father. On Sundays, Raleigh would go to watch Earl play football with his local team. He bought him new boots often because Earl's feet were growing rapidly. Raleigh and Earl's relationship began to have meaning but he still hated his biological mother for 'abandoning' him. His behaviour had improved somewhat but Earl started to hate women. By the age of fourteen, Earl and Raleigh's relationship had taken a turn for the better. Earl was learning fast how to be independent. He was learning about grafting and the rewards that were being gained by honest hard work. At seventeen, Earl was an accomplished scrap metal dealer. He then turned to scrapping motor vehicles. When he had saved enough money, Earl bought himself his first second hand Dumper Truck by the time he was 18 years old. He was impressed when Raleigh had told him the following words, where there's muck, there's money. When Earl was able to run a fleet of Dumper Trucks, he started to invest in Adult Alcoholic Drinking Centres. He bought them but elected to let franchisee run them. Earl owned a total of 10 Adult Alcoholic Drinking Centres. While the franchisee businesses continued to help him accumulate a very healthy financial standing, Earl went on to study Media Studies. He was impressed with how the Media had helped him to find his biological father. Earl learnt to appreciate how his foster and eventually adopted parents had rescued him from a cardboard box. They had given him a home and his name. He had no good feelings or forgiveness for the woman who was his biological mother. Earl still called Sheila mom up until his last breath at 39 years old. Today, a much older Sheila was attending her adopted son's funeral. She thought of Earl as a very brave man indeed. How he had strived to overcome the issues that plagued him. He did this by working all his waking hours or so it seemed. Sadly though, Sheila had to admit that Earl never got over the fact that Myrna had 'abandoned' him and the manner in which she had done so. It all became too much for him to conquer on his own. Earl even ignored Sheila's advice to seek professional help from those, who had the competency and skills to help him through his problems. Owning the Adult Alcoholic Drinking Centres brought him financial stability but encouraged his drinking habit even more. Sheila saw the son she had rescued turn into a very sad human over the years even though he pretended to those around him that everything was just fine. Even though he refused to accept it, Earl's depression had rendered him an avid workaholic and a chronic alcoholic. When he was drunk he became both verbally and physically abusive. Brigette was the one who paid. She suffered through the many rants and beatings, brought on through the influence of Earl's drunken binges. His emotions were triggered long before the drink passed down his throat but the effect was that she became easy target for the giant Earl. Brigette often lied over and over again to explain her bruises and even broken bones sometimes. Whenever she felt desperate enough to call for help, the community would turn their backs on her in favour of the kind-hearted Earl. Through the beatings, Brigette often asked for a reason why Earl chose to treat her in the way he did. She'd get the same answer every time. Silence was Earl's answer to Brigette's questions, always. Privately, she reckoned that he had become mentally deranged through depression but that he was not aware of his emotional insensitivity status. Conversely though, Earl had never laid a finger on Birdie Spring-Hip though he often verbally debased her gender too. Birdie was happy to be a 'kept' woman so she didn't complain, well not outwardly anyway. Rumour had it that her focus was on what she might gain in kind and financially from the comfortably wealthy Earl. He had spent a small fortune on his green humanoid robotron 'dolly bird' as he preferred to call her. Earl used to tell Birdie he was attracted to her because she didn't nag like Brigette did, apparently. Theirs were quite a blatant affair. They were often seen together very closely embraced. Earl didn't care whether Brigette knew of his alleged affair with Birdie. She was in one of the limousines behind Brigette's followed by Simon and his family. The thing that worried Brigette more so than her own suffering was how her stepson, Duke, was treating her. He had no respect for her as a person let alone as his stepmother. Earl made sure that Duke knew that Brigette was not his real mother. He had told him repeatedly, you don't have to take any notice of this wicked witch as he often referred to Brigette.

Duke's biological mother, Enid Staveley, had met Earl in The Cobblestone Arms AADC but was involved in a 'one night stand' type of relationship with him. When she told Earl that she was pregnant, he blamed her for not taking precaution. Of course, the truth is that both were so drunk at the time they couldn't remember what had taken place. Even though Earl was determined to support his child, he didn't want Duke to live with Enid Staveley to whom he referred as a cheap slut. He accused her of having an affair with most of the men in the community. Subsequently, he told her that once she had given birth to their child the affair had to be ended.

Seventeen years old Brigette was Earl's live-in partner at the time. Obviously, she protested when Earl told her about Enid's pregnancy. Brigette objected not only because she felt jealous but also despised and belittled that Earl chose someone else to have his child. Being much younger and less experienced than the 27 years old Earl, Brigette sought out her rival Enid. In a jealous rage, they fought in the Saloon side of The Cobblestone Arms AADC. Despite Earl's cutting comments, Enid thought the more the pregnancy progressed the more he might grow to like her. After all, she was carrying his child. It was a naïve way to view the situation but Enid hoped a relationship might materialise between her and Earl. She was attracted not only to his wealth but also his huge 6'7" physical form. Enid's preference for tall, muscular men was brought on by her insecurities. Earl's 'live in' partner, Brigette felt she had to stake her claim. On the night of the fight, Brigette got to The Cobblestone Arms AADC early but laid in wait for her similarly naïve rival. After a few rounds of very stiff drinks mixed with her emotional insensitivity towards Enid, Brigette finally got her chance to settle the score. As soon as 23 years old Enid entered The Cobblestone Arms AADC, Brigette started to shout at her. Oui you . . . bitch . . . leave my man alone. He doesn't want you, Brigette bellowed. Enid shouted back in retaliation to being verbally attacked. Sez who . . . bitch, Enid retorted? Sez me . . . slut, Brigette replied. Their voices rose above the general buzz within the AADC but spoilt the friendly ambience that existed prior to the young females' disagreement. Barrage of words went to and fro across the ears of all whom that were present in the Saloon. The language was quite colourful indeed but the accusations flew like arrows from crossbows landing accurately at their respective targets. Some individuals listened but watched without comment while others, who wanted to see the girls fight, egged them on. Brigette walked, somewhat unsteadily, towards Enid but she stood her ground by the door. The Cobblestone Arms AADC was beginning to fill up. Hoards of people streamed through the various entrances into the spacious Saloon. It was 'Karaoke Night' and many pretend 'Artistes' hoped to make their voices heard but the sudden distraction had taken even Simon and his staff by surprise. Brigette staggered through the crowd; weaving her way towards where Enid was standing. Being a few years older than Brigette, Enid was confident she could handle the teenager but she wasn't ready for the liquid that flew from the glass Brigette carried in her hand. As soon as the liquid landed on her beautiful outfit, Enid launched her attack. Looking down at the soiled dress, Enid commented. Look what you done . . . bitch, she exclaimed. There was menace in her eyes as she advanced from her position. Both women met near the south entrance but just inside the door of The Cobblestone Arms AADC. Amid much swearing and flailing arms, the two women began to physically vent their trapped emotions on each other. Shouting and screaming they grappled at each other like wrestlers in a ring. Before long, Brigette got hold of Enid's long brown hair. Her manicured extended nails dug into Enid's scalp. She grabbed Brigette by the throat but shook her violently. They tumbled through the door but fell onto the tarmac just in front of The Cobblestone Arms AADC. Passers-by as well as AADC attendees watched the two women fight. CC TV recorded the unsavoury incident. The two young women fought savagely; sometimes rolling around as if joined together like conjoined twins. Their efforts were more scratching than punching but it was a fight all the same. It was only when Simon, the landlord poured a bucket of ice cold water over them that the women seem to loosen their grip on each other. Heaving heavily, they stood facing each other. Daggers of hate were carefully aimed. It was then that Brigette made a suggestion to Enid. You'd better get rid of it . . . bitch. I'll fight you again and again until you do. Leave my man alone. Stay away from him, Brigette threatened. I'm having his baby . . . slut, Enid taunted. The two women continued to throw abuse at each other but both now looked bedraggled like hens with wet feathers caught up in the rain. Enid's