Total Sh*t: An Excremental Essay About President Trump
By Paul Orwell
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About this ebook
This satirical essay about our president uses “shit” as a metaphor to describe Trump: the doofus, the dotard, the dog. It will help you satisfy the urge to purge and cope with the pall of that two-hundred-and-sixty-six-pound poser living in The White House whose fetid smell is wafted all day via mass media into your living room, your bedroom, and up your nostrils. It’s a cathartic read that’s as satisfying as a good shit – plus, it takes about the same amount of time.
Learn:
*Hundreds of shit phrases of Trumpspeak in a “shittery” at the back of the book.
*Types of Trumpshit as graduated on the medical diagnostic Bristol Stool Scale.
*Why America thinks this guy’s shit doesn’t stink.
*What you can do to help evacuate this shit from the American body.
Paul Orwell
Paul Orwell has written 3 books about Donald Trump and the impact of Trumpocracy: "Best Library Ever!!! Worst President Ever", "Total Sh*t" and "Sad! Donald 'Biff' Trump is President." He's a centrist who hankers for normalcy in these strangest of times.A businessman and writer living in Washington, D.C. he believes that regular Republicans and Democrats have much more in common than Emperor Don wants them to believe. Orwell yearns to return to world where politicians reach across the aisle, and engage in healthy debate and bi-partisan compromise. He's a fervent fan of George Orwell's writing style and world-view.
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Total Sh*t - Paul Orwell
Total Sh*t: An Excremental Essay About President Trump
Copyright ©2019 Paul Orwell
Published by Oceania Press
paul@paulorwell.com
1st Edition April 2019
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED This book contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book, with the exception of brief quotes or excerpts for review purposes, may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author/publisher.
Printed in the United States of America
ISBN: 978-1-7338073-1-9
Author’s Note
Preface: Shit Storm
Eat Shit
Holy Shit! He’s Our President?
Shit At Business
Shitty President
Shitty Human
Scrape The Trumphshit Off Your Shoes
Goodbye Shit!
The Shittery: A Lexicon Of Modern Trumpspeak
Ibelieve words matter. For most people, words (mainly hot air) come out of their mouths while shit comes out the other end, but Trump has it all ass-backwards.
Our president talks a lot of shit and this book talks a lot of shit about our president – there’s so much shit flying around that I’ve included a helpful lexicon at the back of the book called The Shittery. Throughout the book, when you see a shitty word or phrase in blue that’s underlined, like weird shit, flip to The Shittery at the back to look up its meaning. Inhale, shit-daddle to the back now, and hold your breath until the Mueller madness has died down…then again, you’ll be dead.
You can reach me at paul@paulorwell.com. I am at paulorwell1 on Twitter, and my website is https://paulorwell.tumblr.com
In this short book, I look at Donnie Trump through the lens of excrement because he is, in a sense, the physical embodiment of our nation’s collective shit. My hope is that this quick splash of his fecal treacle will help you to diagnostically, politically, and culturally orient to this new reality, and I include a lexicon of useful phrases called The Shittery at the back. They’ll help you navigate the Trumpocracy we live in and assess his presidency which has, since day one, been diarrhetic, and has now developed into a full-blown public health crisis I call Trumpoma.
✽✽✽
I grew up in dairy country, surrounded by farmland. One of my most vivid childhood memories is driving behind a manure spreader carrying a full load. As it lumbered down the narrow rural road, little lumps of shit tumbled onto the pavement and the stench of cow effluent wafted into the car. Even with the windows closed, the putrid odor sneaked in, crept up my nose, and raked the back of my throat.
Suddenly, the manure spreader veered hard right into a