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    Tales From the Dad Side
    Tales From the Dad Side
    Tales From the Dad Side
    Ebook143 pages1 hour

    Tales From the Dad Side

    By John Cosper

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Once upon a time, there was a dad who didn’t want to tell the same old bedtime stories. Sure, he loved fairy tales as much as the next guy, but why tell the same old stories about pigs and bears and princesses when you can make up your own?

    TALES FROM THE DAD SIDE is what happens when a dad and his kids decide to make up their own stories. Screenwriter and author John Cosper - along with his kids Sam and Lydia - created a collection of stories featuring pigs, wolves, dogs, cats, robots, chickens, parrots, monsters, dragons, aliens, cockroaches, princesses, honey badgers, Star Wars haters, and one really, really angry bird!

    Always funny, sometimes meaningful, and always entertaining, TALES FROM THE DAD SIDE is a great escape from the ordinary bedtime - and the perfect launching pad to create your own stories and memories with your kids!

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherJohn Cosper
    Release dateSep 29, 2019
    ISBN9780463700686
    Tales From the Dad Side
    Author

    John Cosper

    John's writing career began in 1994 when he took on the role of drama leader for his church's youth program. Later that year, he founded Righteous Insanity, a drama publishing company providing skits, plays, and writing services to churches around the world. In 2011 John became a kids ministry curriculum writer for Minister's Label, creating skits, games, lessons, and more for childrens-ministry-deals.com.As time went on, John expanded his creative endeavors to film, web media, and his first love, science fiction. His credits include two feature films, multiple TV and web programs, and dozens of short films including the award winners "The Telemarketer," "Tolerance," and "Bots.""Sci-fi is a great vehicle for exploring matters of faith." says the writer whose influences include Douglas Adams, George Lucas, Joss Whedon, Philip K. Dick, C.S. Lewis, and Isaac Asimov. "It also allows you limitless opportunities for creativity and humor."His other passions include movies, sketch comedy, science fiction, comic books, football, cooking and professional wrestling. In 2014 he published a history of professional wrestling history in Louisville, Kentucky entitled Bluegrass Brawlers. In late 2014 he also released Eat Sleep Wrestle, a book about today's independent wrestling scene.When he's not writing, you're most likely to find him spending time with his wife and kids.

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      Book preview

      Tales From the Dad Side - John Cosper

      Tales from the Dad Side

      By John Cosper

      All stories copyright 2015 by John Cosper

      All rights reserved.

      johncosper.com

      For

      Micah, Mark, Alex, Riley, Katie, Dorothy, Owen, Naomi, Maggie Kay, Isabelle, Ian, Maggie Sue.

      And of course,

      Lydia and Sam

      The Tales Within:

      Introduction

      You, That’s Who!

      How Lydia Saved the World

      The Parrot Who Was Kind of a Jerk

      Sammy Wolf

      I Do Not Like to Watch Star Wars

      The Dragon Who Learned Some Manners

      The Dinosaur and the Car Wash

      The Dog Who Loved a Chicken

      King Cockroach

      Bad, Bad Bird

      The Unhappy Robot

      The Wrong Story

      The Monster’s Attic

      Cinderdude

      Handsome Klaus

      Jerrod King of Mars

      The Tick Who Went to Kindergarten

      The Chocolate Cow

      The Honest Monkey

      The Wrong Foot

      Sam’s New Friend

      Three Wolves

      A Hillbilly Christmas Story

      A Honey Badger on Noah’s Ark

      Introduction

      When my daughter Lydia moved out of her crib and into a big girl bed, we started having story time to help her settle in for the night. We began with reading the Bible, as well as the old favorites like Dr. Seuss, but over time, I started creating stories on the fly, with a few suggestions from my captive audience and some imagination. A year or so later, we added her brother Sam to the mix, and the evening ritual continued for years.

      We don’t have story time like we used to, but that doesn’t mean we’re not still telling stories. Quite the contrary. We make up stories all the time. These days the kids are much more interactive than they used to be. They’re learning to improvise and tell their own stories in the car, after dinner, and yes, around bed time.

      A few years ago I published some of my kids’ favorites in a collection with this same title. I decided it was time to update the book with some stories that came along afterwards. You’ll find everything from aliens to twisted fairy tales to morality tales in here. Some were intentionally created to teach lessons about life and faith. Some were just flights of fancy intended to produce laughter. All but a few were directly inspired by my kids.

      There’s no order to the stories, so start wherever you like. Read as many as you want. Skip the ones you don’t like. And if you or your kids get inspired, put down the book and by all means make up your own stories.

      The kids must share partial credit for the stories, since they were the inspiration and often part of the creative process. The art work in the book is completely Sam and Lydia’s, and the individual artists are credited on each page.

      Long before I had kids of my own, I heard it said that children who see their father read will become avid readers. I can tell you from experience, it’s absolutely true. My hope is that other dads will take the time to read with their kids. I hope you’ll enjoy these stories like we did. And I hope you’ll help your kids discover the joy of reading.

      John Cosper

      September, 2015

      You, That’s Who!

      Once upon a time, there was a big, scary, fire breathing dragon who lived in a dark cave in the middle of the deep wood. The dragon was very mean, and he loved to terrorize the nearby castles and villages. He loved to eat brave knights in shining armor, but he preferred to eat fair maidens and princesses - mostly because they didn't wear armor, which made his tummy hurt.

      One day, the dragon ate twelve whole knights, armor and all. It was as big and satisfying a meal as he had ever had, but as you might imagine, his stomach was really hurting from all that armor. He tossed and turned beneath his blanket in his dark cave, and he just could not get to sleep.

      I cannot sleep! he finally said aloud. My stomach hurts from eating too many knights in armor.

      Then the dragon had an idea. I have an idea! I will go out for a walk in the dark woods! That will make my tummy feel better.

      So the dragon went out into the dark woods, which were very dark indeed. An ordinary man, even the bravest knight, would have been afraid to walk through them alone. But this was not a man. This was a scary, fire breathing dragon. There was nothing in the world as scary as him, and he knew it.

      But when the dragon got out into the woods, he heard a strange sound.

      Who?

      He walked along, and he heard it again.

      Who?

      The dragon turned and looked. He couldn't see anything. He couldn't smell anything. Not that he was afraid, mind you. But he wanted to know what the noise was. When he didn't hear it again, he kept on walking.

      Then all of a sudden, he heard it again. Who?

      The dragon stopped. Hello?

      The woods were silent.

      Hello? said the dragon. Is anybody there?

      He listened a moment, but he did not hear anything. The dragon walked on.

      Who? Who?

      The dragon nearly jumped! Nearly, for he was still a big, scary, fire breathing dragon. And he was not afraid. But he was very certain someone was messing with him.

      All right, wise guy, said the dragon. I know you're out there!

      Who?

      You, that's who!

      Who?

      The guy who keeps saying who!

      Who?

      I said the guy who keeps saying who!

      Who?

      Stop that!

      Who?

      You, that's who!

      Who?

      The dragon let out a loud growl. He was really getting annoyed.

      Listen, buster, do you know who I am?

      Who?

      I am a big, scary, fire breathing dragon!

      Who?

      I am a fire breathing dragon!

      Who?

      I said I'm a fire breathing dragon! The dragon was really mad now. I breathe fire! I eat knights and damsels! I ate ten knights just today!

      Who?

      I don't know who! snapped the dragon. They tried to fight me, and I ate them! And I'll eat you too!

      Who?

      Stop saying that!

      Who?

      You, that's who!

      Who?

      The dragon's three hearts were beating fast. He just could not imagine who would dare to tease him like this. He was a big, scary, fire breathing dragon! Everyone knew better than to mess with a big, scary, fire breathing dragon. But maybe this was something new, something that had never seen a big, scary, fire breathing dragon. He would have to teach the stranger a lesson.

      Okay, buddy, said the dragon. You want to know what a big, scary, fire breathing dragon can do? You say who just one more time and I'll show you!

      Who?

      That's it! screamed the dragon, and he blasted a huge fireball out of his mouth. The fireball hit a small tree and burned it down to ashes. It was a scary sight, scary enough to make even the bravest knight run away.

      The dragon smiled.

      Did you see what I did? I just burned that tree to ashes!

      Who?

      Who!!! The dragon snarled. Me, that's who!

      Who?

      The dragon!

      Who?

      The fire breathing dragon!

      Who?

      Do I have to do it again?

      Who?

      Okay, pal, you asked for it!

      The dragon shot an even bigger fireball out of his mouth, burning an even bigger tree to ashes in a matter of seconds. But when the fire flamed out and the forest went dark, the voice came back the same as before.

      Who?

      The dragon couldn't believe it! He had shown this stranger how powerful he was, and he still wasn't scared! For the first time in his life, the dragon was scared.

      All right, said the

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