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    A Dragon Walks Into a Bar: An RPG Joke Book
    A Dragon Walks Into a Bar: An RPG Joke Book
    A Dragon Walks Into a Bar: An RPG Joke Book
    Ebook212 pages1 hour

    A Dragon Walks Into a Bar: An RPG Joke Book

    By Jef Aldrich and Jon Taylor

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    About this ebook

    This hilarious collection of over 300 puns, one-liners, and classic jokes dedicated to the fun of RPGs is perfect for you share with your fellow gaming compatriots!

    Why don’t dragons like to eat paladins?
    They taste lawful.

    Laugh out loud at over 300 zingy one-liners and eye-rolling puns with this collection of tabletop-based humor, dedicated to the fun of RPGs like Dungeons and Dragons, Pathfinder, and more!

    A Dragon Walks into a Bar gives you hours of funny content that will keep you smiling. Whether you use them as inspiration for your level 20 comedian bard to crack wise during battle or if you just want a giggle in between turns, this book has everything you’ve been looking for.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherSimon & Schuster
    Release dateDec 3, 2019
    ISBN9781507212196
    A Dragon Walks Into a Bar: An RPG Joke Book
    Author

    Jef Aldrich

    Jef Aldrich is a professional podcaster from San Diego. Along with Jon Taylor, he has been building a podcast brand outside of the big network channels. Jef started entertaining people as a Sea World tour guide and eventually just started being funny for a living on his own. Jef is the coauthor of Düngeonmeister, The Düngeonmeister Goblin Quest Coloring Book, The Düngeonmeister Cookbook, and Düngeonmeister: The Random Monster Generator. He is also a cocreator and cohost of the System Mastery podcast with Jon where they review and comment on odd classic RPGs, poking fun at obscure stories and systems while taking the game for a spin.

    Read more from Jef Aldrich

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    Reviews for A Dragon Walks Into a Bar

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    • 4/5
      1d3 wandering minstrels. Everywhere. But seriously, most of the jokes were good, I laughed out loud at a few. Some of the jokes were bad enough that I had to give it a 4, but overall good read.
    • 5/5
      Absolutely laugh out loud funny! Great quick read perfect for a Friday afternoon or any time you need a good laugh!

    Book preview

    A Dragon Walks Into a Bar - Jef Aldrich

    Cover: A Dragon Walks Into a Bar, by Jef Aldrich and Jon Taylor

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    A Dragon Walks Into a Bar by Jef Aldrich and Jon Taylor, Adams Media

    INTRODUCTION

    Why can’t zombies write good music?

    They can only de-compose.

    Where do people buy their giant hammers?

    A maul.

    What’s a dwarf’s favorite thing to listen to?

    Rock music.

    Do you like to groan at awful puns? Do you enjoy clever wordplay? If you do, hail and well met! Welcome to A Dragon Walks Into a Bar, the only joke book for those of us who prefer to spend our time rolling dice and thinking up fantastic stuff. We didn’t really do a ton of research for this thing. (All right, let’s be honest: We didn’t do any.) What we did do is cram this book full of the best/worst jokes we could think of so you can entertain and annoy your fellow players.

    Not only did we include a selection of jokes, puns, and one-liners; we also made up some tables so you can do everything from generate random non-player characters you can use in your game (You’re greeted by an uncomfortably grimy used-cart salesman) to frightening cheese monsters (Look! It’s a group of wandering Muenstrels!). As you read through this book, you’ll need an assortment of gaming dice from the humble d6 to a d10. (There are some tables that call for rolling a number between 1 and 100, but don’t panic. Just use two d10s and you’re good.) Each table tells you what you’ll need. We’re sure you’ve already got plenty of dice lying around or a dice-rolling app if you’re more digitally minded. At the very least, you know a friend who has far more dice than is necessary.

    There’s a grand total of 335 jokes, 17 tables, and 117 sidebars containing snide commentary and further information about the jokes. Dang! That’s a lot of humor.

    But will this help me play my favorite RPG? you ask. We totally and completely guarantee it will not do anything of the sort. What it will do is give you a chance to be the life of your gaming group—cracking jokes as your party runs away from a menacing blue alien with a disintegrator gun or a gang of orcs. At times like that, you all need a good snicker.

    You can keep these jokes on hand for when something relevant pops up in your game, or share your favorites with the group as you find them. Or just keep them all to yourself! Who are we to say how you use this? Maybe you want to giggle quietly to yourself while reading. When your friends ask you, What’s so funny? you reply, Oh, nothing. But it wasn’t nothing; it was this book. The important thing is that you get a good time out of it.

    So sit back, put on your favorite selection of ye olde tymey gaming music, don your robe and wizard hat, and get ready to laugh. No humor checks required.

    WHAT IS AN RPG?

    Obviously, if you’re buying a book of RPG jokes, you have the same question as anyone who’s ever purchased an RPG: What the heck is this thing? Well, luckily, we’re here to elucidate in a series of simple, easy-to-grasp questions and answers.

    What Is an RPG?

    An RPG is a special feeling. Like a tickle on the tummy from a trusted friend or the feeling you get when you find out that a horse likes you. It’s like playing a board game, except you and your friends are the pieces! (You’re the shoe.) Since time immemorial, humans have been playing pretend using storytellers, actors, and our own wild imagination. An RPG is like when you played cops and robbers as a kid, but with a strict set of guidelines and rules about what you can and can’t do, including an arbiter who doesn’t so much play the game with you as make sure you

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