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    2,501 Things That Really Piss Me Off: A Catalog of Insults and Intrusions That are Sure to Ruin My Day
    2,501 Things That Really Piss Me Off: A Catalog of Insults and Intrusions That are Sure to Ruin My Day
    2,501 Things That Really Piss Me Off: A Catalog of Insults and Intrusions That are Sure to Ruin My Day
    Ebook140 pages50 minutes

    2,501 Things That Really Piss Me Off: A Catalog of Insults and Intrusions That are Sure to Ruin My Day

    By Herb W. Reich

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    About this ebook

    Complaining, psychologists assert, is good for the soul. It acts as a relief valve to help dispel the pent-up energy generated by our frustration. If we weren’t able to complain, we would no doubt exhibit more physical violence and engage more frequently in destructive behavior. Our neighbors outrage us, our children mock us, strangers insult us, government agencies mistreat us, unscrupulous entrepreneurs victimize us, and even inanimate objects conspire to screw up our lives. Compelling inner voices harass us, the crowd in the Agora thwarts us, and irrationality surrounds us everywhere. It’s enough to make someone paranoid! 2,501 Things That Really Piss Me Off demonstrates that misery loves company, and that we are the company that misery loves. 
    Intended as a catalog of everything irksome in our lives, 2,501 Things That Really Piss Me Off reviews the broad spectrum of affronts, annoyances, nuisances, grievances, vexations, mortifications, and molestations that disrupt our equanimity and that daily pervert the simple pleasures of living. It gives voice to the time-honored practice of people everywhere in the worldgriping. Within these pages the reader will find items of anger, reflection, humor, social comment, and even the occasional non sequitur. For its octogenarian author, it is pure catharsis, but it is also the author’s intention that the reader be entertained, and, with a little luck, enriched by the realization that the demons that confound him confound the rest of us as well. That he is not alone in his Weltschmerz.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherSkyhorse
    Release dateJul 1, 2012
    ISBN9781620875100
    2,501 Things That Really Piss Me Off: A Catalog of Insults and Intrusions That are Sure to Ruin My Day

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    • 5/5
      2,501 Things that Really Poss Me Off by Herb W Reich is a clever and witty book! There is probably more than 2500 things in here from everyday things to crazy things. Nothing is off limits. Then he shares dumb quotes! Other things too. Pretty fun reading!

    Book preview

    2,501 Things That Really Piss Me Off - Herb W. Reich

    SECTION 1:

    The Offenders

    lawyers

    politicians

    paparazzi

    my cousin Marvin

    people who have graduated from assertiveness courses

    people who leave the price on a gift

    when I find dirty words in my alphabet soup

    bait-and-switch practices

    the boss’s salary

    when they make bad movies out of good books

    people who don’t leash their dogs

    yentas

    the Macarena

    e-mail spam

    waiters who ask, Who ordered the ...?

    parents who don’t parent

    credit cards that arrive in the mail unsolicited

    Eurotrash

    people who are always late

    people who are always early

    hackers

    nineteen-year-old technomillionaires

    people who don’t understand me

    people who do understand me

    repetition

    reiteration

    redundancy

    prolixity

    superfluidity

    why brassiere is singular but panties is plural

    checks that bounce

    tennis balls that don’t

    when police arrest a mime, they must tell him he has the right to remain silent

    bad drivers

    bad putters

    I can never find the inside of my Mobius strip

    all day long I’ve been trying to find out what time it is, and everyone gives me a different answer

    anything teal

    cookies made with lard

    talking heads on TV

    people who are out to get me

    paranoia

    that the ancient Greeks never learned to write English so we could read them in the original

    Venus envy

    premature elaboration

    when my beer goes flat

    when my bacon isn’t crisp

    accordion players

    preachers who dabble in politics

    politicians who dabble in preaching

    the sink spigot that gurgles unproductively, then suddenly hoses out a tsunami wave that floods over the front of my trousers

    hitting a succession of red traffic lights when I’m late for an appointment

    nepotism

    there is no other word for synonym

    trompe l’oeil shower curtains

    .com

    being hit by lightning

    newspaper delivery boys who never miss the roof

    PTAs that hold cocktail parties to raise money for stop-student-drinking programs

    the picture in my closet is getting really ugly

    colorized Marx Brothers films

    three-card monte games on the street

    doctor’s receptionists who think they are working for the Almighty

    doctors who think their receptionists are working for the Almighty

    the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune

    the whips and scorns of time

    the oppressor’s wrong

    the proud man’s contumely

    the pangs of dispriz’d love

    the law’s delay

    the insolence of office

    the spurns that patient merit of the unworthy takes

    people who display their learning

    politicians who dedicate themselves to making the country safe for hypocrisy

    body piercing

    sanctimonious political candidates

    French poodles with polished nails

    French poodles

    getting a menu of options when I call 911

    Panglossian optimism

    pseudointellectual display

    obfuscating euphemisms

    the tax code

    the word phonetic isn’t spelled the way it sounds

    paper cuts

    songwriters who rhyme go with befo’

    supercilious head waiters

    the annoying music played while I’m waiting on the phone for a human voice

    the annoying music played in elevators

    the annoying music played in my daughter’s room

    the Psychic Friends Network not being able to predict that they were going bankrupt

    cutesy TV News anchors

    hair loss

    memory loss

    job loss

    sentences that begin, The thing is ...

    fortune cookies that lie to me

    the weather in Buffalo

    psychiatrists haven’t discovered one really good new phobia in decades

    computer prodigies and their megathingies

    my shrink reads War and Peace while I’m on the couch

    the bank pays interest quarterly, but charges interest monthly

    my passport picture

    I can’t figure how Teflon sticks to the pan

    borborygmus

    my inability to trisect an angle

    exhibitionists with nothing to exhibit

    diner waitresses who call me Hon

    the broken E string on my ukulele

    Days of Our Lives excludes Saturdays and Sundays

    General Hospital doesn’t accept insurance assignment

    The Guiding Light went out

    palm buzzers

    lapel flowers that squirt water

    plastic dog doo

    dribble glasses

    whoopee cushions

    dribble cushions

    whoopee glasses

    the infirmity of good taste in modern society

    election results are too often determined by which candidate spent the most money

    lawyers

    getting hit in the head by a pelota

    dandruff

    a turnover on the one-yard line

    mirrors that distort my reflection

    mirrors that don’t distort my reflection

    the scurrilous inaccuracies and manufactured controversies in supermarket tabloids

    I wasn’t born rich instead of handsome

    I wasn’t born handsome

    high LDL

    the guest room TV that automatically resets to Hotel Channel every time it’s turned

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