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    If You Meet the Buddha Tell Him a Joke, a Book of Weird Nonsense
    If You Meet the Buddha Tell Him a Joke, a Book of Weird Nonsense
    If You Meet the Buddha Tell Him a Joke, a Book of Weird Nonsense
    Ebook48 pages37 minutes

    If You Meet the Buddha Tell Him a Joke, a Book of Weird Nonsense

    By Burr Cook

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    About this ebook

    This book is total nonsense and was written for those who enjoy wasting time. It is made up of old jokes most of which are not original. Having said that, I think that some folks may enjoy reading it even after being forewarned. The jokes are loosely woven into a story about a mental patient who is released from a sanitarium prematurely and by mistake. He has many adventures. He joins a group of Buddhist monks who mistake his stupidity for profundity. He has exceedingly good karma.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherLulu.com
    Release dateSep 18, 2014
    ISBN9781312533431
    If You Meet the Buddha Tell Him a Joke, a Book of Weird Nonsense

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      Book preview

      If You Meet the Buddha Tell Him a Joke, a Book of Weird Nonsense - Burr Cook

      If You Meet the Buddha Tell Him a Joke, a Book of Weird Nonsense

      If You Meet the Buddha Tell Him a Joke, a Book of Weird Nonsense

      Copyright 2013 Burr Cook

      All rights reserved

      ISBN: 978-1-312-53343-1

      Preface

      This story is obviously a spoof; a slapstick comedy. It is a collection of life’s experiences gained from living among some very weird people. Many of these folks have passed on now and only exist in my memory which is far from perfect. It certainly is not meant to offend any one’s religion. Some of it is original and some is as remembered from out of the past. The history of my past takes us down roads to nowhere in particular and everywhere in general, over land, sea and air to the far corners of the mind.

      ----Burr

      Chapter 1 The Release of Winston Whitman

      The Story begins as our hero Winston Whitman stood before the desk of Doctor Zimmerman. He was transfixed by a picture on the wall depicting a World War II scene with ships and airplanes in the heat of battle. The doctor was speaking while Winston only half listened. Mr. Whitman; the board of directors here at Sunny Farm Sanitarium have decided that you are fully cured and you are now free to leave. Your uncle left you plenty of money so you’ll be able to find a nice place to live. You can pack your things and catch a bus downtown right in front of this building. So let me shake your hand.

      What?

      I said that you can go now.

      Oh OK.

      You seem preoccupied, Winston, What’s on your mind?

      I'm trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

      Doctor Zimmerman just looked a bit puzzled by that but let it pass.

      You have money now Mr. Whitman why not buy yourself some new clothes. I understand that Men’s Warehouse has pants half off.

      Winston got real red in the face and replied Doctor I have no interest in such things, especially with men. But I want you to know something I’m sure about

      What is that Winston?

      He replied It’s just that a carpet is neither a car nor a pet, it is indeed a floor covering.

      The doctor was starting to have second thoughts about Winston’s release but the decision was made so he just wished the patient the best of luck. Do you have any questions before you leave Winston?

      I have just one question Doctor, can you cry under water?

      The doctor just cleared his throat and said good day Winston, do be careful. Just a minute, what’s that in your pocket it looks like a gun?

      It’s a chocolate revolver an orderly gave it to me. He said it would make a good gift for the President. He also told me that the President is a very busy man and I’ll probably have to run up to him real quick and hand it to him.

      No Winston, don’t do that!

      Soon Winston found himself in the outside world alone. He had not known freedom for several years. He

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