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    Tour of Insanity: A Manifesto for Better Home Design
    Tour of Insanity: A Manifesto for Better Home Design
    Tour of Insanity: A Manifesto for Better Home Design
    Ebook101 pages1 hour

    Tour of Insanity: A Manifesto for Better Home Design

    By Kelly Mitchell and Matthew Zakutny

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Have you ever walked around your house wondering WHY this was installed that way or WHY there is orange shag carpet in the kitchen? Maybe you wondered WHY there has to be a front yard or WHY do pests keep getting into your home? We provide a comedic look at the WHY and some insight on what should be.

    This book provides a tour of the insanity of past, present, and future home design highlighting the tragic comedy of why things are the way they are and what could be done differently to elevate home design. We address the absurd notions of shag carpeting in bathrooms and what led to their demise as well as how to shore up your home from pesty invaders. Tour of Insanity is designed to spark conversations and provide comic relief while introducing solutions.  

    If you want serious, mapped-out architectural and home decor enlightenment - walk away, this book isn't for you. We provide odd facts, bizarre history, and viable solutions that in most cases are beyond our control. After reading, you will walk away with interesting stories and whimsical knowledge that is great for warming up dinner conversations, but first and foremost, you will smile.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherKelly Mitchell
    Release dateMar 2, 2021
    ISBN9781393909866
    Tour of Insanity: A Manifesto for Better Home Design
    Author

    Kelly Mitchell

    My background is a field of educational and experience carnage. My curiosity latches onto a topic that piques my interest and I immerse myself in the research of that topic and once the smoke clears, there is often a certificate or a degree in my hand. The accidental casualty of a forever learner.   My dark sense of humor guides me to write satirical works in opinion pieces, fiction, nonfiction, SciFi, and erotica. Inspiring thought, debate, and laughter in my work is my passion. If you do what you love, it's not a job, it's a dream-and here I am killing it. Originally from the small town of Fremont, Nebraska I am the survivor of extreme culture shock after moving to Las Vegas, Nevada. Things are open after 10 pm and they sell beer on Sundays - it was emotional. I earned a Bachelor's Degree in Criminal Justice but never actually entered the field (carnage). I ended up owning a collection business specializing in HOA Collections. For those that don't know, HOAs (homeowner's associations) is a world fraught with controversy that I was able to thrive in. Writing was always the gravity that kept my turbulent world together. Restless in my career and life, I found solace in writing and being seduced by the power that the right words can have, became a full-time author. If you enjoy my pieces or don't, I am happy to field questions and debate topics. You may always find me lurking at Starbucks or at www.musingaroundlv.com.

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      Book preview

      Tour of Insanity - Kelly Mitchell

      Introduction

      Urban planning and home architecture is, for the most part, a masterful execution of intricately woven coordinates saturated in community features that promote accessibility to utilities allowing neighborhoods to capitalize on the goods and services of their community.  You would think that the same care of planning would go into the form and function of our home design, or at the least, evolved over the years.

      Insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results.  People, we are certifiable when it comes to the aesthetics and architecture of our home design models.  Our homes are getting smarter.  It all started with the little personal secretaries perched on the counter, her name is Alexa.  We scream at Alexa to fetch us this or that or even argue with her when we are bored (yes, I know you’ve done it).

      Today, we have smart appliances that speak to each other without human intervention.  The thermostat will keep track of when you are home and tell you ways to conserve energy, saving you heaps of money.  The sprinkler system will tell you if there are any leaks and where they are located. The refrigerator can team up with an app on your phone and make up your grocery list; Jetsons eat your heart out.

      But, with all these advancements in technology, here we are, doing the same shit different day with critical components in and outside our home.  This book is a tour through the insanity that we glide through every day, most days without thinking about it - that’s the problem. 

      I know you have scanned through a room and fixated on something, after successfully remembering why you entered the room in the first place and thinking - Why Is This?  What Function Can This Possibly Serve?  We are here to answer those questions and provide solutions to inspire change in an area that seems to be explained by - It’s just always been that way.

      If you are looking for nirvana enlightenment and viable solutions, this book is not for you-walk away. We instead illuminate interesting facts as to why things are the way they are to act as kindling for fiery, intriguing conversations at dinner parties or vetting the right dating partner, or even a coffee table book to break the awkward silences when in-laws are visiting. 

      In the spirit of entertainment, we say it’s time for a revolution on how we blindly accept the old ways and tolerate the non-functional ‘annoyance’ factor in home design and invest in a way to stop the insanity.  Let’s take a tour, shall we?

      Chapter 1 - Carpeted Bathrooms: But Why The Rugs, Though?

      The average person spends 92 days of their life on the porcelain throne. That doesn’t even take into account the amount of time that is spent primping ourselves up for work or a date or to seek sanctuary from the family at Thanksgiving dinner.

      Bathrooms are a highly-coveted space.  You don’t honestly know who someone is until they are confined in a home with five people and one bathroom - it’s emotional.  So, the question is, with the paramount importance of the quality time we spend in the bathroom, why is it not better matched with our needs?

      Who Started The Insanity?

      The concept of detouring waste from the home goes back about 5,000 years with urban planning in the Indus Valley, Rome, Egypt, and several other ancient civilizations.  The actual swirling bowl came much later in the 1500s from the godson of Queen Elizabeth I and the elbow grease of the Industrial Revolution, back then; it was commonplace for 20 people to handle business in between flushes (Ewww).

      But, when did the actual bathroom come into play?  The room that sheltered our bath and bidet - to privatize our personal releases and ponder our thoughts in peace?  More importantly, who started the TILE floors?  Isn’t it always the bloody Romans? 

      Bathing publicly before entering a sacred space or socializing in large thermal baths were practiced in many places of the world; however, it was the wealthy Romans that separated the public and private bath, taking the bathroom to another level.  Although they would still ritually bathe in public, Romans introduced a personal space in their home that distinguished private and public hygiene and relaxation habits.

      Romans that could afford it would build a separate room containing a private heated bath, including ointment, incense, combs, mirrors, and even a working toilet system.  Romans were skilled architects, and their innovations were unmatched for centuries after, which is why every bathroom positioned itself in their likeness.

      Romans are credited with molding cement from the celebrated monumental masterpieces showcased in museums next to pictures of their majestic archways to the lowly bathroom floor tiles.  AH-HAH, our tile villain! 

      Privatizing Bathrooms: Sharing Is Not Caring

      Before the 19th century, disease was thought to be spontaneously combusted chaos or spawned upon you because of unfavorable, sinful acts that you participated in or it was quite possible that you were possessed by demons.  During the 19th century, we explored a new theory of how germs were spread and put rhyme to the reason, basic hygiene.  This was a turning point in medical history as hospitals and treatments became more sophisticated, vaccines were developed, and penicillin ensured our survival.  This century survived epidemics of:

      ●  Cholera

      ●  Smallpox

      ●  Typhus

      ●  Yellow fever

      ●  Plague; and

      ●  Scarlet fever

      Disease transmission study, cleanliness (with soap), and hygiene were all the rage, and so were private bathrooms.  Private bathrooms were becoming a

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