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Demian - Sambahsa tarjem

Demian - Sambahsa tarjem

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Demian af Hermann Hesse, un tarjem in Sambahsa. A Sambahsa translation of Demian by Hermann Hesse.
Demian af Hermann Hesse, un tarjem in Sambahsa. A Sambahsa translation of Demian by Hermann Hesse.

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Published by: Mithridates on Jan 26, 2013
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07/29/2014

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DEMIAN af Hermann Hesse Sambahsa tarjem

Volim ya neid alyo quem pites gwive quo sielcskwit me per se. Ma buit to tem difficil ? Kay narre mien storia, dehlgo inkape dalgtos prever. Dehlgiem, sei to mi esiet possible, lites dar dalger retro, tiel do ia quantenprest yars os mieno miegve ed dar trans ia do id piern os mien origin. Autors, quando scribent romans, pliehge to kamsei esient Div ed ghehdient uperspehce ed ghabe cada menscenstoria ed represente id kamsei Div sibswo id narriet, aun vasya kehlders, samt essential quantloc. To khako io, tem pau quem autors to ghehdent. Mien storia est mi importanter quem qualgvonc autor id elso ; idghi est id wi mien, ed id est id storia unios mensc – ne uns exmohnen, uns possible, uns ideal au sonst-ye ne existant, sontern uns real, unique, gwiv mensc. Quo to est, un real-ye gwiv mensc, est woiden nundiens aundwoi minter quem aiwo, edghi mensci bihnt menegh-ye gvohnt, ex qui ielg est un kamatih, unique test ios Nature. Sei ne esiemos dar meis quem unique mensci, tun ghehdiet druve-ye ielg ex nos bihe kastert ex id mund, narre storias neti habiet sense. Ielg mensc est lakin-ye ne tik elswo, el est elschi unique, alnos particular, in cada fall important ed skaun point, quer ia phenomens ios mund crucent mutu, tik oins ed naiweti. Itak est id storia ielgs mensc important, abadic, divin, itak est ielg mensc, tan el gwivt kamkwe ed parkwehrt id vol ios Nature, daumost ed el stahalt cada attention. In ielg hat id ansu wardht, in ielg paytt gohnos, in ielg biht crucificten un Redemptor. Pauks woid nundiens quo est el mensc. Maungs kheisse id ed mehre po to meis facil-ye, kam ego mehrsiem meis facil-ye, kun habsiem parscript tod storia. Ne poitto me kale mualim. Eem un sokar ed som dar oin, bet neti paursko bayna ia stars ni in buks, bikleum ia talims qua mien sehrg murmuret in me. Mien storia ne est amat, ne est swadh ed harmonieus kam ia exmohnta storias, id smehct non-sense ed confusion, follia ed sogno kam id gwit vasyen menscen qui sib neti leughskwnt. Id gwit ielgs mensc est un wegho kye seswo, id peiten uns wegh, id suggestion uns paund. Nel mensc hat aiw esen alnos elswo; ielg trendt lakin bihe el, uter

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kyopev-ye, alter meis facil-ye, ielgis kam el ghehdt. Ielg behrt etiloikwa sienios gnahsa, gloiwos ed oivkiauts uns ormund, bi se tiel id fin. Maungis naiwo biht menscis, remant batrac, remant sinsar, remant murm. Maungis est ub mensc ed ghom pisk. Bet ielg est un kumar ios Nature kyel mensc. Nos quantims sont ia origins commun, ias maters, wey quanti gwehmmos ex id sam guragh ; bet ielg trendt, un test ed un kumar ex ia dubes, kye sien wi ziel. Ghehdmos prete mutu ; bet interprete ghehdt tik ielg sibwo. Dwo munds Inkapo mien storia med un gwivmen ios zaman kun eem decat ed eegwahm id latinscol os noster smulk urb. Maung suaodet kyant me ed me emovt intos med gvol ed karime vehrsa, deuska gatvas ed kweiter doms ed tors, horlogen frids ed leuden liges, kyals plena med comfort ed warmo khauristat, kyals plena med rouna ed profund kabuspaur. Ter odent warm kantun, cuincules ed slougas, woikproducts ed oschaf. Dwo munds drahr ter per mutu, ex dwo poles gwohm dien ed noct. Uter mund eet id paterdom, bet id eet hatta dar angher, id ghi compris tik mien parents. Tod mundo mi eet mierdeils-ye suagnoht, ids nam eet dadmam, liubh ed strehngia, exemplaritat ed scol. Tod mund eet bayght ab mild arg, clartat ed kiestia, her eent mliak maedwn tolks, laven hands, kiest vesters, prabh mores hemi. Her eet id aghyern khoral sohngven, her eet Natal celebren. In tod mund eent rect lignes ed weghs qua duxeer do future, eent dohlg ed skult, khak conscience ed confession, indeulgen ed sell intentions, liubh ed dyinst, Bible werds ed mensdeh. Anghen dohlg dare tod mund kay id gwit buit clar ed pur, bell ed suart. Alter mund yed inkiep ja medsu nies wi dom ed eet alnos alyum, odit als, bahsit als, promiss ed kup als. In tod dwoter mund eent slougas ed kerdosgasalls, kabusstorias ed scandal rumors, ter eet un pulpoik flutt om immense, attractive, dekhschatic, enigmatic jects, kam mazbakh ed prison, drehnkniks ed creischend gvibhs, kyueihnd gwows, volvihn ekwi, narns om enbrehgens, nergvons, suicides. Quant ta bell ed terrible, wild ed cruel jects wohs hol perambh, in id niebst gatva, in id niebsto dom, police agents ed vagabonds drahr perambh. Drehnkniks pliegel ir gvibhs, grwozdus yunen piegs surc vespers ex ia fabrics, anuas ghohd manghane ed sieugihes leuds, brigands wik in id widu, fwenschawers bihr kapt ab sayads – quantloc surc ed suaodit tod dwoter, violent mund, quantloc, tik ne in nies kyals, quer mater ed pater eent. Ed to eet baygh gohd. Eet daumost, od eet bi nos pace, aurdhen ed rahat, dohlg ed gohd conscience, indeulgen ed liubh – ed daumost, odschi eet id ceter, to hol

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honar ed spleindend, sombre ed gvaltic, quod ghohd ses oiskapen lakin med oin skand kye mater. Ed id stragnest eet, kam ambo munds granceer protie mutu, kam prokwem ia comlyohg ! Mathalan-ye noster slouga Lina, quan ia sess vespers unte id gvehden in id salon nieb ia dwers ed comsohngvit med sien clar voc id chante, sien lawt hands lyict ep sien utingglat mandile, tun bieygh ia alnos dadmam, nos, in id clar ed id prabh. Just poskwo in id cucin au in id dreustadel, quan ia mi narrit ia storias ios auncapios bonem, we quan ia chid con ians niebergvibhs in id smulk dukan ios mayzelar, tu ia eet alya, bieygh alter mund, eet perambhta med secret. Ed it eet to con quant, meist-ye con meswo. Sigwra, io bieygh id clar ed prabh mund, eem is magv mienen parents, bet quetro io wohrt ok ed aur, quantloc eet alter ter, ed gwivim yaschi in alter, quayque id mi eet ops tarnien ed guway, quayque ter ops khak conscience ed paur bihr obtenen. Hatta gwivim prist-ye miltst-ye in id banto mund, ed ops eet id gwirlay do id clar – kamkwe necessar ed sell id miegh ses – quasi kam un gwirlay do id minter bell, id meis plictic ed pusten. Yando io wois : mien ziel in gwit eet, bihe tem quem mien pater ed mien mater, tem clar ed pur, tem superior ed suart; bet tetro eet id itner wayt, tetro dohlg ses perikwohlen in scols ed studyen, ed examens ed imtihans dohlg ses kamyaben, ed id itner lit semper pri alter sombrer mund, peritohr id, ed eet hatta possible, od anghen mien in id ed se forsohnk. Eent storias lusten sons quibs it eet wakyen, qua io hieb list passion-ye. Ter eet ielgs id gwirlay ei pater ed ei sell tem redemptor ed grandiose, io khiss ex to od tik to eet prabh, gohd ed desirable, yed eet id deilo ios storia quod jinkdousit bayna i khiters ed lusens, dalgtos id attractivest, ed sei to habiet poitten ses saygen ed confetten, sayang od yando is Lusto Son pischmien ed eet retrohft. Bet sieyg i leuds to ne ni mohn to. Tik to existit, ka presumption ed possibilitat, baygh ghom ka khisses. Quando fikrim iom Diabel, io ghohd imagine iom niter in id strad, desguiset au ouvert-ye, we in id yarmerc, we in un creschma, bet naiw in nies hem. Mien swesters bieygheer kathalika id clar mund. Eent, kam mi ops kwohk, essence-ye prokwer dadmam, eent gohder, tamijdarer, aunfaulter quem ego. Ias hieb defaults, ias hieb dusadets, bet mi kwohk, od to ne eet baygh profund, od to ne eet kam in me, quer id contacto con khiter eet ops tem gwaur ed aziyatend, quer id sombre mund wohs meg prokwer. Ias swesters eent, lik im parents, ad preserve ed ad respecte, ed sei anghen hieb chiden con ians, anghen eet poskwo ant sien wi conscience semper el khiter, el stiftor, quel dohlg budes indeulgen. Perghi ians swesters eent les i parents, id sell ed superior. Eent secrets, qua ghohdim diles meg anter con iens dusprabhst gatvapwarns quem con mien swesters. Ye gohda diens, quan id conscience eet gwayder ed in aurdhen, tun eent ops delicieus likes con ians swesters, ses sell ed latif con ians ed seswo skaue med un brave ed noble apparence. It dohlg ses quel eet un angel ! To eet id hogsto quo gnohsam, ed ieyam swadh ed daumosto ses un angel, perambhtis
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med un gwayder swon ed xiaunki kam Natal ed noroc. Oh kam rar-ye tyohc solg saats ed diens ! Ops leikend-ye, unte dohbra, aunharm ed permitten leiks, eem io uns passion ed uns vehemence, qua excess mien swesters, qua duxeer ad faydh ed bieda, ed kunghi grassab lambhit me, eem terrible ed kwohr ed sieyg jects quom duspriebhe, dar unte io kwohr ed sieygim ia, io khiss prufund-ye ed ardent-ye. Tun gwohm desamat, sombre hors om pischman ed contrition, ed dind id kadost instant, kun io bud pardon, ed poskwo iter un bam os clartat, un still, schakir bzam aun disunion, unte hors au instants. Eegwahm id latinscol, is son ios burgmayster ed ios forester-chef eent in mien classe ed eegwehment prist-ye do mien hem, wild pwarns yed bayghers ios sell, permiss mund. Lakin io hieb angh sibias dia niebersekias, scolers ios primar scol, quens sonst honnam. Med oin ex iens dohlg io inkape mien narn. Ye un leur posmiddien – eem lyt minter quem decat – ravien io con dwo pwarns ios jawar. Tun gwohm un ater con, uno meis kreptic ed meis rauk sekia, circa tridemat, un primarscoler, is son uns khayat. Eys pater eet un drehnker, ed id hol familia eet in duskleumen. Franz Kromer mi eet suagnohn, bieyim iom, ed ne me plaisit od is nos joinit. Is hieb ja wirlik maniers ed imitit id gwayt ed id bahmen iom yun fabrickarls. Sub eys commando stigh wey nieb id brigvo ghom do id ouper ed perbohrg nos ud id mund sub id prest brigvarche. Id smulk ouper inter id brigvakmen ed id adriug bogwed consistit mucho zibel, dreska ed mergis, implohcen bindells ex berust isern viel ed alya disxubhs. Prist-ye eent ter neudet jects trohven; wey dohlg obsoke id stet sub id neihsa os Franz Kromer ed ei dikes quo wey trohv. Dind auter gwup is id ject pro se we is rejexit id do wed. Is bud nos ad an eent bayna ia sem jects ex plumbh, massing au stin, isghi gwup ia pro se, hatta un veut pecten ex horn. Khissim baygh bfuyow in eys hamrahsa, ne ob io wois od mien pater mi baniet tod sokwia, sei is woidiet id, sontern ob paur dia iomswo Franz. Eem noroct ob is me admiss ed traitit kam alters. Is wohl, ed wey obedih, to eet kamsei esiet un veut usage, quayque eem ye id prest ker con iom. Bad sess wey ep id swol, Franz oispiu do wed ed tengicit kam un wir; is oispiu per un dentitiontorm ed hih querlibt. Un tolk inkiep, ed ies pwarns bigvreduer ed bihablier de vasyalg scolerexploits ed khiter agsa. Io swigh yed biey ubfalle med chiowdeo mien taycen ed attrage kye me id grassab os Kromer. Io hieb est inkaptos za mien dustens quoy se hieb gnopihn iom, eem un tarnien bayna iens ed io khiss od mien vehsmen ed adab eent uper iens. Ka latinscoler ed son os prabh familia ghohd Franz me ne kame, ed bo alters, to suakhiss io, me renegient ed forlinkwient. Bad inkiep io ob mer paur yaschi narre. Io exmohn uno mier brigandstoria, quos heroy io me kwohr. In un garden nieb id wagwlmolin, io lohg od noct-ye con
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dwo dustens io hieb klohpten un hol sack pleno med apels, ed ne communa, sontern tik reinetas ed cronapels, ia gohdsta sortes. Ob ia dangers tos momentios mwaungsousim io do tod storia, exmehne ed lehge id mi buir familiar. Tik kay ne iter chwoye ni maghses bihe involwto do semjecto khaker bligih io mien hol art. Oin ex nos, io lohg, hieb semper dohlcto stahe wakht, menxu alter eet in id dru ed xubh ia apels ghom, ed id sack eet tem gwaur, quem wey dohlg iter ghyane id ed relinkwes id dwidel, bet wey regwohm pos oin pwolhor ed vien id reste. Kun io hieb finiht, spehsim io sem applaus, hiebim bad biht warm ed io me hieb medven med id affabulation. Bo lyters tieyc exspectant-ye, bet Fraz Kromer me spohc med pwolcluden okwi achiz-ye ed me sprohg med tehrgend voc : “Est to ver ?” “Weidwos”, sieyg io. “Also druv ed hakike ?” “Ya, druv ed hakike”, sigwrim io chiaujaen-ye, menxu io pnohg inner-ye ob paur. “Ghehds tu kassame ?” Io hieb maung dekhschat, bet io sieyg fauran ya. “Tun sayg : per Div ed furkan !” Io sieyg : “Per Div ed furkan.” “Gohd, ya”, mieyn is tun ed is vols. Io mohn, eet gohd, ed buim noroct, kun is mox stahsit ub ed bigwirliey. Kun buam ep id brigv, io sieyg timid-ye od io dohlg taiper gwirlaye. “To ne tem urct”, glih Franz, “hams ya id sam iter.” Lent-ye naravien is, ed ne dursim sranse, men is ghieng druve-ye unte id wegho kye nies dom. Kun buam ter, kun io vis nies domdwer ed id teug massing kschong, id sol in ia fensters ed ia cortins in id kamer mienias mater, tun ann io deub ex. O gwirlay ! O gohd sell reiken do hem, do kweiter, do pace ! Kun io hieb oku ghyant id dwer ed snohct unte, parat ad slahmes id apter me cluden, tun Franz Kromer se waurs in con. In id khuld, deusk flisendikhliz, quod diek luce tik ex id ghehrd, stahsit is claus me, dier mien brakh ed sieyg ye khafi voc : “Urg ne tem, tu !” Dekhschaten spohc io iom. Eys greisp ambh mien brakh eet darm kam sider. Io dieum quod iskwit is ed an is semkam volit dustraite me. Sei criciem nun, mohn io, criciem honar-ye ed akster-ye, kwe esiet semanghen ex ubdrabs kay salve me ? Bet io tyohgv. “Quod est ?” io sprohg, “quod vols tu ?”
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« Ne maung. Dehlgo just budes dar semject ud te. Alters ne wane aure to. » « Tun ? Quod tehrbo io tib dar sayge ? Dehlgo ubdrabs, woidst tu.” “Yed woidst”, sieyg Franz khafi-ye, “quom id hortghehrd nieb id wangwlmolin baygh’ ?” “No, io ne woid. Credeihm, iom moliner.” Franz me hieb oisbohndto med sien brakh ed me traxit taiper alnos claus se, kay io dohlg spehce eys lige prokwemst-ye. Eys okwi eent khiter, is oismih khabisye ed eys lige eet pleno med crueltat ed magh. “Ya, mien pwarn, ghehdo tib ja sayge quom id garden bayght. Io woid ja diutos, od ia apels sont klohpten, ed io woid odschi is wir hat sayct is dahiet dwo marks tal quel ghehdt ei sayge quel hat klohpten ia fruits.” “Yallah !” exclamim io. “Ne vahs tu lakin ei sayge ject ?” Io khiss, esiet inutil, antruses eyso sense os honor. Is eet ex alter mund, pro iom eet khianat neid crime. Io druve-ye khiss to. De ta jects eent i leuds ex “alter” mundo ne kam wey. “Neid sayge ?” glih Kromer. “Kyar prient, mayns tu som un contrafactor om denars, od ghehdo miswo makhe piengs om dwo marks ? Som un orm karl, ne ho un riche pater kam tu, ed sei dehlgo gaines dwo marks, io dehlgo gaines ia. Kad is daht hatta meis.” Is me slu stayg. Nies vestibule neti odit pace ni securitat, id mund collieb ambh me. Is me denuncyiet, eem un criminal, to esiet sayct ei pater, kad id police hatta gwehmiet. Vasya chaos dekhschats me tohrg, quant biaur ed dangereus eet kyuken contra me. Od io hieb nel-ye klohpt eet alnos aun importance. Eti hieb io kassamen. Oh yallah ! Dakrus oistigh do mien okwi. Io khiss, od io dohlgim me kaupe leur, ed obsokim desperat-ye mien hol geps. Neid apel, neid gepkniv, nischto. Tun mi enfiell mien saat. Eet un veut argwrntsaat, ed id ne wohrg, io vohs id “tik ob”. Id orgwohm ex nies grandmater. Oku io disking id. “Kromer”, sieyg io, “kleu, ne dehlcs denuncye me, to ne esiet bell ud te. Tib schehncskwo mien saat, vid ter; way ho io neid sonst. Poitts habe id, est ex argwrnt ed id wehrg est gohd, id hat tik oin lytil defect, id dehlct ses reparet.” Is oismihsit ed ghens id saat in sien plaut hand. Io spohc tod hand ed khiss, kam rauk ed profund-ye hostil mi id eet, kam maung id grisp mien gwit ed pace.

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“Est ex argwrnt”, sieyg io timid-ye. « Spieum ep tien argwrnt ed tien veut saat ter ! » sieyg is samt profund honn. « Repare id tuswo ! » “Bet Franz”, exclamim io, kreusend ib is abgwahiet. “Skehpt just lyt ! Ghend ghi id saat ! Est druve-ye ex argwrnt, druv ed hakike. Ed ho druve-ye eid als.” Is me spohc srig-ye ed honn-ye. “Woidst ghi ad quom gwahm. Weschi ghehdo sayge id ei police, suagnohm iom wakhmayster.” Is bivols kay salge. Io protiedier eys armel. To ne poiss. Habiem anter milen mehre quem tehle hol quo gwehmiet sei is abgwahiet. “Franz”, implorim io, braungh ob erghen, “mae kwehr stupid jects ! Hay, has tik glewos ?” “Weidwos, un glewos, bet pro te maght id bihe dorgv.” “Sayg ghi mi, Franz, quod io tehrbo kwehre ! Siem kwehre quodkwe !” Is me scrutit med sien angh okwi ed iter glih. “Sdi ghi ne stupid !” sieyg is med flas dabronia. “Woidst tem relevant-ye quem ego. Magho gaines dwo marks, ed ne som un riche wie, ne magho rejece ia, to woidst tu. Tu de es riche, has hatta un saat. Tehrps mi tik dahe ia dwo marks, tun est quant gohd.” Io ghieb id logique. Bet dwo marks ! To eet pro me tem maung ed nenakim quem dec, quem cent, quem mil marks. Io hieb nia denars. Wohs un sparcutia nieb mienu mater, ter eent ob onclevisites ed solg waurmens oik dec- ed penkpfennig piengs eni. Sonst hieb io neid. Gepdenars diek io ye cid oumer ne bad. “Ho neid”, sieyg io trist-ye. “Ho nia denars. Bet sonst dahskwo tib quodkwe. Ho un western buk, ed soldats, ed un compass. Dahskwo id tib.” Kromer tik-ye pnohsit med serbese, khiter stohm ed spiu kyep swol. “Stop tien gatolkos !” sieyg is amer-ye. “Poitts gwupes tien khalt. Un compass ! Ne me ergh dar meis, aurs tu, ed dah ghi ia denars ! » « Bet ne ho sem, dako naiwo denars. Ne ghehdo jec’ de to ! » « Tun bringhs tu mi cras ia dwo marks. Skehpto pos id scol ghom in id mercat. Eno. Sei ne bringhs ia denars, tun tu sies vide !” « Naam, bet quetos tehrbiem vane ia ? Yallah, sei druve-ye ne ho sem”.
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“Son’ kafi denars in tien dom. To est tien kaur. Also cras pos id scol. Ed tib saygo : sei tu ne bringhs ia”. Is glaz dekhschatic-ye do mien okwi, spiu ois meis ed disparih kam un skadh. Io khiek nehse. Mien gwit eet destrugen. Io mohn curre wayt ed naiwo rikes we kharke. Lakin ta ne eent clar images. Io sess in id temos ep id ghemsto stieupen os nies domdrab, hudel ed me resignim ei bieda. Ter me trohv Lina plangend, kun ia stighit ghom con un kist kay vane aydsmo. Io prohg iam ke sayge neid her ed io stigh ub. Ep id kriuk nieb id glasdwer hieng id hat miens pater ed id solsaan as mienu mater, hemses ed tenderesse srur mi ex ta quant jects, mien kerd salutit ia iltijend ed schakir, kam is lusto son id vid ed odor iom veut familiar kyals. Bet to hol neti taiper me bieygh, to hol eet gwayder dadmamsmund, ed eem deub ed skultplen forsohncto do id tarnien flutt, implohct in aventure ed synt, torhct ab iom peind ed exspectet ab dangers, paur ed deshonor. Id hat ed id solsaan, id sell veut schaghian swol, id mier kwiter uper id vestibule schkaf, ed eni ex id salon id stohm as mien veuter swester, to hol eet kyarer, meis tender ed delicieuser quem aiwo, bet to eet neti consolationo ni rassuren, eet just mambh. To hol eet neti mien, io khiek smyehre ids kweitert ed stillia. Mien peds bohr sreup, quod io khiek tierge ep id hassir, brighim skadhs con me, de qua id hemsmund wois neid. Quayt secrets hieb io ja habt, quayt anxietat, bet to hol hieb est leik ed glewos comparen ad quo io brigh hoyd con me do ta kyals. Fat aptercurs me, hands oistrohceer kye me, protie qua iaschi mater khiek protege me, de qua ia ne poiss woide. Kweter mien crime eet un klehpt au un leugh (ne hieb io dreughkassamen ant Div ed furkan ?) eet irrelevant. Mien synto ne eet to au cio, mien synt eet od io hieb dahno mien had ei Diabel. Ma me hieb io foragen ? Ma hieb io obedihn iom Kromer, gohder quem aiwo mien pater ? Ma mi hieb io udlughen id storia cios klehpt ? Gvrenduen de un crime, kamsei id esiet wehrg neren ? Taiper dohrj is Diabel mien hand, taiper eet is peindo za me. Unte un instant io neti khiss baysa dia cras, sontern hassa id terrible yakinia, od mien itner leitiet semper niter ed do temos. Sensim clar-ye, od ex mien agos ov agsa sollient sehkwe, od mien prehpen bayna ians swesters, mien salut ed mien kuss im parents eent un leugh, od io bohr con me un fat ed secret quod io eni perbohrg. Unte oin instant blig trust ed speh in me, kun observim id hat miens pater. Ei saygiem quant, emiem eyso judcement ed kwoin ep me ed kwehriem ex iom mien confideit ed mien salvor. To esiet tik un pischman, kam ta qua io hieb ops gwiwt, un difficil, bitter saat, un difficil ed pischmanplen pardon pleidoyeir.

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Kam swadho to swohn ! Kam attractive to eet ! Bet eet neid in to. Io wois ne kwehriem to. Io wois, od io taiper hieb un secret, un skult quod ioswo dohlg bewaldhe mon. Kad eem io chiowdeo taiper ep id skeirwegh, kad bayghneuiem pon tod saat pro aiw i khiters, smyehrneuiem secrets con peighers, dependneuiem i, obedeihneuiem i, bihneuiem lik im. Io hieb acskwn kam un wir ed heroy, taiper dohlg io behre ia consequences os to. Io kiem od mien pater, kun entrim, kung de miena smeu schous. To abbud iom, is ne kieu id khakst, ed io tohrb kwehnde un mambh quod rahasye rejexim ep alyo. Tun twis un stragno novo khisses in me, un peigher ed scindend khisses plen med akwns : io khiss me superior mieni pater ! Io khiss, unte un instant, un certain honn dia eys negnohsa, eyso cheiden de ia smeu bauts mi kwohk khabahatic. « Sei woidies ! » mohn io ed me iey kam un criminal, qui est interrogen ob un klohpt jemmel, menxu is habiet un maurdh ad confette. Tod eet un cherkin ed aghel khisses, bet id eet akster ed hieb un profund attract, ed id me zangirbohndit darmer-ye quem ceter bren de mien secret ed mien skult. Kad, mohn io, hat Kromer ja gwahn id police ed denuncyen me, ed aglus age uper me com, menxu som her ayt un lytil magv ! Ex tod hol experience, dayir quanto hat est lohct hetro, buit tod instant id importantst ed kjiengowst. Id buit un presto tarak in id isertat ios pater, id buit un prest tohma in id stut ep quod mieno miegve hieb kiht, ed quod cada mensc, pre el ghehdt bihe elswo, dohlg destrugus. Ta experiences, qua nimen vidt, sont consisten ab id inner, essentialo ligne os nies meinyun. Un talg tarak ed tohma crohscyet, biht ilajt ed myohrst, bet gwivt ed namwanient in id secretsto chamber. Mi buit fauran kados id nov khisses, habiem kamen strax kunes ia peds miens pater kay budes pardon ud iom. Bet neid essential ghehdt ses indulct, ed to suawoid unis magv tem profund-ye quem cada sage. Io khiss id naudh om reflecte de to hol, sehgne de itners pro cras; bet io ne gwohm do. Eesweswohdim tik unte id hol vesper id alteren hava in noster salon. Mursaat ed table, bible ed specule, bukengjia ed murkwiters srienseer sammel me, io dohlg samt frohsen kerd spehce, kam prev mien mund, mien sell norocto gwit bihsit ed disbihsit ud me, ed io dohlg spruves kam ankert ed dart io eem med nov, seugend raudhs exo in temos ed rhayir. Ye id prest ker gus io id mohrt, ed id mohrt smehct bitter, idghi est gnahsa, est paur ed baysa dia dekhschatic udnoven. Buim norocto kun io bad lyohg in mien crovat ! Prever, ka senst purgatorium hieb id vesperprehgen mi priliten, ed wey hieb sohngven pro id un chante qua bieygh miena miltsta. Ah, ne sohngvim com, ed ielg swon eet ghel ed poison pro
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me. Io ne gvohd com, kun mien pater swohr id blaghen, ed kun is ens : “-sdi con nos quantens !”, tun un convulsion me forrohv ex tod circule. Divs grace eet con vasyens, bet ne bad con me. Srig ed deub-ye strak abgwahsim io. In crovat, menxu io hieb lyohct pon un khvil, menxu wierme ed salvtat me khauris-ye periembh, errit mien kerdo dar oins in id paur, dwiej paur-ye ambh id prev. Miena mater mi hieb kamadet sayct sellnoct, ayso stieup cliengh dar in id kamer, id bleigos aysios kier luc dar in id dwerspalt. Nun, mohn io, nun vaht ia regwehme – ia hat khissen to, vaht me kunes ed sprehge, sprehge sell-ye ed promisswent-ye, ed tun poitto io plange, tun smehldt id kyom in mie coll, tun glabo iam ed saygo ay to, ed tun est to sell, tun est furkan ter ! Ed kun id dwerspalt ja hiebit bihn deusk, klu io dar unte un khvil ed mieyn, to sollit ed sollit wakye. Tun rik io ia res ed vis do ia okwi miens peind. Io vis iom clar-ye, is hieb anghiht uter ok, eyso stohm glih rauk, ed menxu io spohc iom ed kun id inevitable me praess, bihsit is mierer ed biaurer, ed eys peigher ok blig diabolicye. Is eet claus me hina io nierc, bet poskwo io drohm ne de iom ni de hoyd, sontern io drohm od fanzowam in un boot, i parents ed ias swesters ed ego, ed nos periembh tik pur pace ed id arg uns feriadien. Medsu in id noct io gohr, khiss dar id aptergust ios felicitat, vis dar ia kwit lientvesters mienen swesters in id diewo schimmer ed fiell ex hol paradays retro do quo eet ed stahsit is peigherokwi peind iter face me. Ye aghyern, kun miena mater gwohm hast-ye ed exclamit od eet ja sert ed ma io dar lyohg in crovat, kwohk io ne lites wal, ed kun ia sprohg me an io ieu semject, io vomih. Semjecto kwohkit gaisst med to. Io kiem meg ses lyt sieug ed poitte nalyehge con ramunchay unte un hol aghyern, klues kam ia mater puw in id niebkamer, ed kam Lina in id vestibule prim iom mayzelar. Id premiddien aun scol mi eet semject enchanten ed feelik, id sol lik do id kamer ed ne eet id sam sol protie quod in id scol ia glend cortins eent slaht ghom. Bet toschi hieb neid gust hoyd ed swohn fals. Ya, sei habiem mohrn ! Bet litim tik lyt newal, kam ja ops, ed to changit neid. To me protexit ud id scol, bet to ne me protexit ud Kromer, qui me skohpt ye oindem saat in id mercat. Ed id maedwnia ias mater eet ye tod ker aun tassalli; eet gwaurod ed gvolit. Mox foigyim swehpe ed reflecte. To hol changit neid, io dohlg ye oindem saat ses in id mercat. Itak io stahsim ub ye dec saat silent-ye ed sieyg, od loityim wal. To mieyn, kamadet in solg falls, od io dohlg auter rikes id crovat we gwahe scol ye posmiddien. Io sieyg od io gwahskwim scol. Io hieb mi kwohrt un plan.
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Aun denars poiss io ne gwehme ad Kromer. Io dohlg reghende id sparcutia quod me bieygh. Ne eent kafi denars in id, to woissim, dalgtos ne kafi; lakin eent sems, ed mieno neus mi sieyg, od sems esient gohder quem nischt ed od Kromer dehlgiet minst-ye ses suten. Mi buit un skultic khisses, kun io snohg in calstins do id kamer mienias mater ed ghens ex ayso scribtable mien cutia; bet tod ne buit tem skultic quem id ghestern. Ia kerdbats me wieurg, ed to ne buit seller, kun io trohv ghom in id drabkhana ye id prest peiten od id cutia eet perchint. Buit baygh facil ghyanbrehge id, eet tik un teun blechen seit ad dehre; bet id dehren gvolit, ed tosmed hieb io committen klehpt ye id prest ker. Tuntro hieb io tik-ye kuscht sukerschtuks ed oschaf. Quayque eent mien wi denars, ta eent taiper klohpten. Io spruv, kam buim iter oino meiso stieupo proscher Kromer ed eys mund, kam to lit tem jamile-ye lyt ed lyt niter, sammel quem alexim protie. Is men Diabel vienit me, neid de iter rik tetos. Io hissieb ia denars paur-ye, ia hieb swohnto tem plen in id cutia, taiper in id hand eent ia miskin-ye pauk. Eent sixgim penk pfennigs. Io kohl id cutia sub id sensto stieupen, dier ia denars in mien cluden hand ed sielg id dom, als quem io hieb aiwo gwaht unte tod dakhel. Ubdrabs kiel me semanghen, kam kwohk mi; gwahsim oku tetos. Eet dar maung wakt, io me urs med detours unte ia gatvas os un changen urb, ender naiwovis nebhs, pri doms qua uperspohc me, ed pri leuds, qui hieb sem suspecen dia me. Untitner mi enfiell od oino mienen scoldusten hieb oins trohven oin piastre in id pekumercat. Habiem gairn gvohdt ke Div kwohr un daumos ed miegh sines miswo kwehre un talg trohven. Bet io neti poiss gvehde. Ed tunschi id cutia ne habiet pohldyen. Franz Kromer vis me dalgtos, lakin trohc is baygh lent-ye kye me ed kwohk ne kaure de me. Kun is buit prokwem me, znieyc is mi amer-ye kem io tohrb sehkwe iom, ed abgwahsit aun ambhspehce oins, sakwn-ye, ghom id Strohgasse ed unte id steigh, hin is oistopit engwn ia sensta doms ant un nov imara. Ne eet orbato ter, ia murs oistahr tuich aun dwers ni fensters. Kromer ambhspohc ed entrit unte id dwer, ego apter iom. Is oistiup apter id mur, znieyc mi ed exrexit sien hand. “Has tu ia ?” sprohg is srig-ye. Io trieg mien darnd hand ex mien gep ed vohrs ia denars do eys pam. Is hieb hissaben ia, hatta pre id senst penk-pfennigs pieng hieb udclanght. “Ta sont sixgim penk pfennigs”, iey is ed spohc me.

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“Ya”, ieyim io timid-ye. “Son’ quanta ho, son’ pior pauk, io woid. Bet son’ quanta. Ne ho meis. » « Te habiem ayn meis clever », grintit is med un quasi mild mambh. « Inter honorwirs tehrp’ ses aurdhen. Vahm neid ghende ex te, quo ne est rect, to woidst tu. Reghend ghi tien nickel ! Alter – tu woids’ quom – ne peit enderwesnihes me. Is payght. » « Bet ego ne ho meis ! To eet mien sparcutia. » « To est tien besoyn. Bet ne volo biedanihes te. Mi deulcs dar oin mark ed trigim penk pfennigs. Quando dako io ia ?” “Oh, habsies ia sigwra, Kromer ! Io woid ne nun – kad ho io mox meis, cras, au poscras. Suaghaps od khako sayge to mieni pater. » « To ne me betanct. Ne eiskwo skehthe te. Ghehdiem ya habe mien denars dar pre middien, vids tu, ed som orm. Tu vehs bell vesters, ed has meis lecker ad meje middiens quem ego. Bet ne volo sayge ject. Per me vahm lyt skehpte. Poscras sweihsiem ad te, in id posmiddien, ed dehsies quant in aurdhen. Gnohs mien sweih ? » Is mi tyic un sweih quod io hieb ops aurt. “Ya”, sieyg io, “io woid.” Abgwahsit kamsei ne bieyghim iom. To eet un verslyn inter nos, neid meis. Dar hoyd, credih io, me terrorisiet id sweih os Kromer, sei stayg io auriem id iter. Io ieur id taiptos ops, mi kwohk, io ieur id semper ed semper. Neid loc, neid leik, neid orbat, neid bren quetro tod sweih ne penetrit, quod me dependentih, quod eet taiper mien fat. Ops eem io in noster smulk florgarden, quod io meg liubh, unte ia mliak, colorwent osyernposmiddiens, ed un stragno pulsion pussirit me ad eme tsay pwarnleiks om prever zamans; albatta lik io kam un pwarn, qui eet yuner quem ego, qui eet dat sell ed leur, innocent ed preserven. Bet medsu eni, semper exspectet yed semper pamrlan-ye steurbant ed surprindant, cliengh id kromersk sweih quetosgvonc, segit id strangh, destruxit ia fikers. Tun dohlg io abgwahe, dohlg sehkwe mien aziyater do khiter ed biaur locs, dohlg massoule ant iom ed denars ud me dohlg ses udtohrgen. Kad to hol hieb duret oik hevds, bet mi kwohk to eet yars, to eet un abad. Rar-ye hieb io denars, oin penk-pfennings pieng au oin grosch, quod io klohpt ex id cucintable, quando Lina likw id mercatkisto stahe ter. Ielgs eem io grinten ab Kromer ed uperkowpen med honn; ego eem qui drugh iom ed beghsihskwim iom eys
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dohbro rect, ego eem qui widuv, ego eem qui biedanih iom ! Ne ops in mien gwit hat stighto gjian tem prokwem mien kerd, naiwo ho io khissen mierer desperation, mierer dependence. Hiebim pleht id sparcutia med leikdenars ed redehto do ids place, nimen sprohg de. Bet quant ghohd se rumpes uper me cadadien. Dar meis quem id rauk sweih os Kromer bieyim io ops iam mater quan ia stiup silent-ye kye me – ne gwohm ia kay sprehge me de id cutia ? Dat hiebim prohpen pelus aun denars bi mien diabel, so inkiep aziyate ed nudes me als. Io dohlg orbate pro iom. Is dohlg parkwehre dulals pro sien pater ed ta dohlg io kwehre. We is me obligit tyices semjecto difficil, unte dec minutes gvehmbe ep oiter jamb, diehnes un genpian ep id roube uns passant. In drehms maungen nocts nagwivim io ta aziyats ed lyohg in id swoid ios coschmar. Buim diu sieug. Vomihsim ops ed srigehsim facil-ye, bet nocts lyohg io in swoid ed gvrens. Miena mater khiss od semject ne sualit, ed mi bevis maung sympathia, quod me aziyiet, ob khiekim confide bi iam. Oins brigh ia mi ye vesper, kun eem ja in crovat, un smulk schtuk chocolat. Eet uno mehmeihsa om prever yars, kun io vespers, quan io hieb esto taat, ops pre narcen hieb dact solga leckereits. Taiper stahsit ia ter ed rexit id smulk schtuk chocolat kye me. Me tem gvolit quem ghohdim tik-ye scutte mien cap. Ia sprohgit quod ieusim, ia bruk mien kays. Ghohdim tik jawabe : “Ne ! Ne ! Volo habe neid.” Ia lyig id chocolat ep id nocttable ed abgwahsit. Oins brigh ia mi iom doctor, qui me endersokit ed mi prescripsit srig lavens. Mien stand ye cid tid eet un sorte os follia. Medsu id suart pace nosters dom gwivim io timid ed aziyaten kam un yowrleing, ne smyohr id gwit altern, myohrs me rar-ye unte oin hor. Dia mien pater, qui ops erght me tolkihskwit, eem cazour ed srig.

Cain Id salven ex mien aziyats gwohm semquetos inexspectet, ed sammel gwohm con to semject nov do mien gwit, quod hat nawohrgen hoydtro. In nies latinscol eet admiss pautos un nov almen. Is eet is son as un sudehn vidv, qua hieb hemchangen do nies urb, ed eys armel eet kincto med un traurreibo. Is studyit in un hoger classe quem ego ed eet destull ater, bet meswo ubfiell is mox, kam quantens. So skaun scoler kwohk ses meg ater quem is tengicit, ad
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nimen dahsit is id pondos uns pwarn. Inter nossmee magvisk pwarns trohc is rhayir ed matur kam un wir, dar meis kam un swamen. Prihn eet is ne, is ne smyohr ia leiks, dar minter kavgas, tik eyso jischinic ed gwaukan ton dia i daskals plaisit alters. Eys nam eet Max Demian. Sem dien wakyit, kam to tyohc ex tid do tid in nies scol, od bi quodgvonc sabab un dwoter classe dohlg ses desplacet do nies baygh mier scolkyal. Eet id classe Demians. Wey men yuners lis biblic storias, ies de veuters dohlg scribe un essai. Menxu id storia om Cain ed Abel nos eet inculquen, spohc io meg kye Demian, quos lige wi-ye me fascinit, ed io vis tod clever, argu, aunsam darm lige cliht attentive-ye ed mentplen-ye uper eys orbat ; is nel-ye kwohkit kam un scoler qui kwohr un wehrgin, sontern kam un paursker, qui solvskwit wi problemes. Amat eet is mi punor ne, bilax, io hieb semjecto contra iom, is mi eet pior superior ed srig, is mi eet meg pior chiaujaen-ye sure in sien ses, ed eys okwi hieb id expression im balirhs – yod i magvi naiwo lieubhe – lyt trist con blix os sarcasme eni. Yed dohlg io spispehce iom, is miegh me plaise we desplaise ; payn glaz is oins kye me, itak retrieg io mien specto dekhschaten. Quando remehno hoyd-ye de kam is kwohkit prevst ka almen, tun ghehdo io sayge : is eet in cada aspecto different ud quantens, eet alnos seswo ed ubfiell ob to – sammel yed kwohr is quanto kay ne ubfalle – ieg ed suloukit kam un desguiset prince qui est bayna argats ed se strehnct ad kwehke kam ies. Ep id reikwegh ex id scol apterghieng is me. Kun alters hieb abtrohcen, naviex is me ed salutit. Todschi salut, quayque imitit nies ton om scolpwarns, eet baygh adult ed polite. « Gwahms wey lyt com ? » sprohg is winlik-ye. Buim flattert ed io nuk. Tun ei descripsim quer weiko. “Ah, ter ?” sieyg is oismeihnd-ye. “Gnohm ja id dom. Uper vies domdwer wehst semject tem skaun, tod me hat fauran interessen.” Ne woisim strax-ye quo is mieyn, ed io stieun od is kwohk suagnohe nies domo meis quem ego. Yaghi wohs ka akmenspetra uper id aneta un sorte os vapwn, lakin in id druna iom tids id se hieb fortreht ed hieb est ops upergriht med poig, con nos ed nies familia hieb id, tant-ye io wois, neid ad kwehre. “Io wois neid de”, ieyim io timid. “Est un av au semquel samlik, id sollt ses baygh veut. Id dom sollt bayghus sme id monasteir. » « Possible », nuk is. « Suachehx id oins ! Talg jects sont ops baygh interessant. Credeihm tod est un dogan.”

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Naghiengam, eem meg captiven. Stayg-ye glih Demian, kamsei semjecto glewost ei enfalliet. “Ya, ho ghi prispohct vies dars”, iey is akster-ye. “Id storia os Cain, qui bohr id signe ep id chol, ne ver ? Plaist id te ? » No, me hiebit plaist rar-ye quodgvonc ex quanto dohlgam uces. Io ne durs lakin sayge id, to eet, kamsei tolkit un adult con me. Io sieyg, id storia meg me plaisit. Demian tip mien oms. “Ne tehrps finges ant me, kyar prient. Bet id storia est ghi baygh skaun, credeihm, est meg skauner quem pleist alya, qua tyohc unte ia darsa. Is daskal hat ghi ne saygen maung de, tik id adic de Div ed id synt ed yunyun. Bet credeihm – “, is interrup-se, smihsit ed sprohg : “Kwe id te interesset ?” “Ya, credeihm ghi”, nabahsit is, “tod storia de Cain ghehdt ses interpretet baygh als. Pleista jects, qua nos sont docen, sont sigwra meg ver ed correct, bet ia ghehde ses consideret yaschi als, quem daskals kwehrnt ed daydey hant ia tun un baygh alyo sense. Con tom Cain mathalan ed med id signe ep eys chol khact anghen se satisface de kam to nos est tolken. Ne pehnds tuschi ? Od semquis gvehnt sien brater, to poitt sigwra passe, ed od is hat paur pos to ed pischmant, toschi est possible. Bet od is algvt ob sien couardice un extra signe quod iom protect ed dekhschat ceters, est yed druve-ye stragn.” “Sigwra”, sieyg io interesset : id ject inkiep captive me. “Bet kam tehrpt id storia ses explien als ?” Is tip mien oms. “Baygh facil ! Quo existit ed quosmed id storia hat inkapt eet id signe. Ter eet un wir, qui hieb semject ep id chol, quod dekhschiet alters. Ne durseer touche iom, is impress i, is ed eys purts. Maghses au sigwra eet lakin ne druve-ye un signe ep id chol, tem quem un postmark, to wakyit in id gwit rar-ye tem directye. Meg anter eet semject payn perceptible ed guway, lyt meis menos ed deursia in id specto quem quod i leuds oiswohd. So wir hieb magh, ant tom wir diek alyi dekhschat. Is hieb un “signe”. Tod ghohd ses explien kamlibt. Ed “anghen” semper volt quo ad anghen est comfortable ed daht rect. Anghen hiebit paur ant Cains purts, i hieb un “signe”. Tun explicit anghen id signe ne ka quo id eet, ka un distinction, sontern ka id contrar. Anghen sieyg, od i leuds samt tod signe eent guway, ed toschi eent i. Od ter ieg un genos em aunpaurs ed guways eet baygh incomfortable, ed taiper attachit anghen tei genos un donam ed un mythos, kay kwines i, kay lyt milder dia quantens id kwohndto dekhschat – Ghaps tu ? »
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« Ya – to maynt – tun ne esiet ghi Cain esen peigher ? Ed id hol storia in id Bible ne esiet ghi ver ?” “Ya ed no. Tem veut, orveut storias sont semper ver, bet ne sont semper skwit ni expliet kam esiet correct. Bragv-ye, mayno, is Cain eet un fameus karl, ed tik, ob anghen hieb paur dia iom, ei buit tod storia attachen. Id storia eet just un rumor, semjec’ kam quo i leuds ambhbalbelnt, ed eet unte tod meid baygh ver, od Cain ed eys purts bohr druve-ye un sorte os “signe” ed eent different ud pleist leuds.” Io meg stieun. “Ed tun credeihs tu, od quodschi de id nergvon ne eet ver ? » sprohg io emoven. « Yed, to est sigwra ver. Is nert hieb gvohnen un slab. Kwe is eet druve-ye eys brater ghehdt ses dwoit. To ne est important, final-ye sont vasyi mensci braters. Also un nert hat nergvohnt un slab. Kad eet un wehrg neren, kad ne. In cada fall eent alter slabs taiper alnos pauric, schikieyeer meg, ed quan eent sprohgen : “Ma ne nergvehnte yu iomschi mer-ye ?’ tun ne sieygeer : ‘Ob smos feigs’, sontern sieygeer : ‘Khakmos. Is hat un signe. Div hat kwit iom !” Katha sollt id swindel gnahvs – Na, te sranso. Do reviden !” Is tour do id Altgasse ed me likwit mon, staunihter quem io hieb aiw est. Payn hieb is abgwaht kun quantum is hieb saygen mi kwohk alnos incredible ! Cain un noble wir, Abel un feig ! Id cainsigne un distinction ! To eet absurd, to eet blasphemator ed skeulost. Quer tar mien is sell Div ? Hieb is ne acceptet Abels daper, kyarihsit is ne Abel ? No, stupiditat ! Ed io suppos od Demian hieb iskwt goile ed daumihes me. Un ghi balstohmt clever karl is eet, ed is siegv tolke, bet it – no – Lakin hieb io naiwo bad-ye tant-ye namohnto de quodgvonc biblic au alyo storia. Ed ne hiebim bad-ye tant-ye diutos tem alnos myohrsen iom Franz Kromer, unte hol hors, unte un hol vesper. Io perilis domi id storia iter oins, kam id eet in id Bible, id eet cort ed skweitet, ed to eet baygh foll, ter paurske un special secret maynen. Ter poiss cada nergven se declare ka Divs favorite ! No, to ne hieb sense. Maedwn just eet id weidos quosmed Demian ghohd sayge talg jects, tem elangver-ye ed facil-ye, kamsei quantum esiet evident, ed med ta okwi ep id ! Semjecto ghi eni meswo ne eet in aurdhen, eet meg anter in disaurdhen. Io hieb gwiven in un gwayder ed kiest mund, ioswo hieb est un sorte os Abel, ed taiper glibh io tem profund-ye in “alter”, hieb tant fallt ed sohnct, yed ghohd io grundye ne tant kwehre protie ! Quod eet taiper de ? Ya, ed taiper blig ub uno
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mehmen in me, quod lambhit mien annem unte un instant. Ye cid khiter vesper, kun mieno nunic misere hieb inkapt, to hieb esto ter con mien pater, tun hieb io, unte un dakika, kam transviden ed honnen oins iom ed eys gwayder mund ed mensdeh ! Ya, ioswo hieb fikert od eem Cain ed bohrim id signe, tod signe eet neid deshonor, id eet un distinction ed io wohs med mien peighert ed bieda hoger quem mien pater, hoger quem i sells ed zakirs. Ne gwivim prevst-ye id ject in tod forme clarios bren, bet to hol eet mathmount eni, eet just un enflammen om khisses, stragn isnahsas, qua gvoleer yed me plehr med myndert. Quando resohgnim – kam stragn-ye hieb Demian tolken de i aunpaurs ed feigs ! Kam rhayr adic-ye hieb is oiskwiten id signe ep id chol os Cain ! Kam daumosye hieb eys ok, eyso skaun ok os balirh luct ! Ed tohrit neclar-ye per mien cap : ne est isswo, so Demian, un sorte os Cain ? Ma defendt is iom, sei ne se kheisst ei samlik ? Ma hat is tod magh in id spect ? Ma tolct is tem honn-ye de “alters”, dei aunpaurs, quighi lakin sont i zakirs ed Divi suaplaisants ? Io gwohm do neid endo med ta brens. Un petra hieb fallto do id put ed id put eet mien yun atmen. Ed unte un long, baygh long wakt buit tod jecto de Cain, de id nergvon ed de id signe id point quetos quanti mien peitens kye recognition, dwoi ed critique emseer ir asimat. Io kieu odschi alter scolers eent meg besic de Demian. Id storia de Cain hieb io lohgen ad nimen, bet is kwohk interesse yaschi alyens. Bariem bikwohl maung rumors de iom “nov”. Sei woidiem dar vasya, ielgo xeubhiet un luce ep iom, ielg esiet tolctu. Woidim tik dar, od preter buit reporten od ia mater Demians eet baygh riche. Eet yaschi saygen od naiw eegwaht kyrk, nischi is son. Eent yudi, sigwrit oin, bet i miegh yaschi ses secret muslims. Serter buir basma narret de id corposgwis os Max Demian. Sure eet, od is terrible-ye humilyit iom nertst os sien classe, qui hieb chiaujaent iom ad katue ed kiel iom un feig ob eys refuse. Toy, quoy eent present, sieyg od Demian hieb just eys neuk med oiter hand sizt ed darm-ye presst, poskwo is pwarn hiebit bihn pall, dind hieb is absnohgen ed neti hieb ghohden nudes sien brakh unte id dien. Sem vesper buit hatta baht od is hieb mohrt. Quant buit sigwrt unte un khvil, quant crediht, quant eet excitant ed kyudost. To eet kafi pro un khvil. Ne maung serter ubgwohmeer nov rumors bayna nosmee scolers, sekwent qua Demian hieb intim sibias con kweils ed “woiss quant”. Entrim-ye nakwohr mien besoyn con Franz Kromer sien obligator itner. Ne abdehsim iom, quando ghi is me likwit sakwn intermittent-ye unte oino dien, lakin eem bohndt ad iom. In mien drehms gwivit is kam mien skadh, ed quo is ne forfiecit con me in id realitat, tun mien fantasia sis iom kwehre to in ta
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drehms, in qua bihsim alnos eyso sclav. Gwivim in ta drehms – eem semper un akster drehmer – meis quem in id real, io lus gwis ed gwit ad ta skadhs. Inter alya drohm io ops od Kromer dustraitit me, od is oispiusit ep me ed ep me genuit, ed, quo eet meis khiter, od is me forduxit ad grave crimes – ne tant-ye forduxit, sontern just ta mi dwigh med sien staur influence. Id meist dekhschatic tom drehms, quetos io hieb gohrn pwolfoll, mathmounit un maurdhattaque contra mien pater. Kromer schliv uno kniv ed dahsit id mi do mien hand, stahsam apter ia drus uns allee ed luuram po semanghen, io ne woiss quel; bet kun semanghen prigwohm ed kun Kromer mi dik premend-ye mien brakh od el eet quel io dohlg dyehgwe, tel buit mien pater. Tun io gohr. De ta jects mohn io albatta dar dayir Cain ed Abel, bet lyt minter dayir Demian. Kun is prosch me iter prohp, buit to stragn-ye yaschi in un drehm. Nam-ye drohm io iter de dustraitements ed violences qua io kwohnd, bet instet Kromer buit ye tod ker Demian qui genuit ep me. Ed – to buit alnos nov ed mi dahsit un profund pondos – quanto io hieb kwohndt ab Kromer samt aziyat ed protievol kwohnd io ab Demian gairn ed samt un khisses quod mathmounit tant wohn quem paur. Io hieb dwis tod drehm, dind Kromer emsit tsay sien place. Quo gwivim in ta drehms ed quo in id realitat neti ghehdo io diutos exact-ye separe. In quant fall emsit mien khiter sibia con Kromer sien druna, ed ne druveye sien fin, kun hiebim parpayghen bad ei pwarn id dulgen summ ex much lytil klehpts. No, taiper eet is hushyar de ta klehpts, isghi me sprohg semper quetos gwohm ia denars ed io wohs meis in eys fangho quem aiwo. Frequent-ye tohrg is med sayge quant ad mien pater, ed tun eet mien paur payn tem mier quem id profund regreto de ne kwehrus to per meswo inkaptos. Entrim, ed tem miser eem io, yed io ne pischmien quant, bariem ne semper, ed credihsim waurmen-ye khisses od to hol sollit ses it. Un fat eet uper me ed eet inutil transbrehcskwe id. Presumptible-ye kwohndeer mien parents tod stando ne lyt. Un alien ansu hieb gwohmt uper me, io neti dohbh nies communitat quod hieb esen tant intim, ed de id un rarzend nostalgia kam de lusen paradaysa lambhit me. Bihsim, particular-ye ab mienu mater, traiten kam un sieug meis quem kam un vilain, bet kam to tyohcit ghohd io meist-ye suavide ud id sulouk mienen bo swesters. In tod sulouk, quod eet baygh indeulgend yed me miserihsit aunfin-ye, se manifestit clar-ye od eem un sorte os posseddeit qui eet ob sien stando meis rieudtu quem grinttu, in quom lakin id khitert hieb emen sien sedd. Io khiss od eet gvohdt pro me, als quem sonst, ed khiss id futilitat om ta prehgens. Id wehnos os tassalli, id desire uns druv confession khiss io ops ardent-ye, yed sensim in avance od khakiem neid sayge ni declare quant exact-ye mieni pater ni mieni mater. Io wois od to esiet maedwn-ye acceptet, od esiem ghi baygh-ye gahapt, hatta samt regret, bet ne alnos comprehens, ed od to hol esiet ayt un sorte os derailment, menxu to eet yed fat.
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Io woid od maungs ne credeihsient od uno ne bad oindemat magvo ghehdt khisses it. Tim ne lehgo mien besoyn. Id lehgo tim qui meis suagnohnt de mensc. El balirh quel hat ucto transmute un deilo siens khisses do brens misst ta magven brens ed maynt nun od ter ne sont gwivmens. Bet ho rar-ye in mien gwito tem profund-ye gwiwt ed payss quem prevst. Unte sme un seuydien io kyuken ab mien aziyater do id Burgplatz oistahneum ed skehptneum ed srehtneum med mien peds id smeu castander gawarakos quod pipehdt ex ia kyehrsen gheuttend drus. Denars hieb io ne, bet hiebim brighen con me dwo schtuks gateau kay habe minst-ye semjecto dahtu ei Kromer. Hiebim biswohden diutos quergvonc stahe claus un kantun ed skehpte iom, ops unte baygh long wakt, ed acceptim to kam mensci accepte id inchangeable. Bad gwohm Kromer. Is mien hoyd ne diu. Is bir oik olancutts do mien reibers, glih, ghens id gateau, hatta mi propos uno madho cigarette quod lakin refusim, ed eet maedwner quem biadet. “Ya”, sieyg is abgwahnd-ye, “kay ne myehrse to, maghies ye niebs’ ker bringhes tien swester con, iam veuter. Quod tar est ays nam ?” Io nel-ye comprehens edghi dahsit neid antwehrd. Tik io spohc iom staun-ye. “Capires tu ne ? Tien swester dehbhs tu bringhes con.” « Ya, Kromer, bet to ne dehbht. To ne poitto, ed ia zowngschie ne gwehmiet con.” Eem preparet an buit iter un schikane au un pretexte. Is kwohr to ops, demandit quodlibt impossible, me dehsit do dekhschat, humilyit ed ee-sissint me wesnihes con iom. Io dohlg tun me exkaupe med sem denars au alya dons. Ye tod ker buit to alnos different. Is kheptenn quasi ne pigher de mien refuse. « Na ya », sieyg is semkam, « tu sies reflecte de to. Kamiem bihe gnohn ab tien swester. To wakyesiet tik oins. Neihs iam mer-ye uni spassere con, ed tun gwehmo io do. Cras sweihm ad te, ed tolcsiemos iter oins de.” Kun is hieb abgwahn, regwit do me stayg semject ios sense eysios desire. Eem dar alnos uno magv, bet rumorois wois io od pwarns ed piegs, quan eent lyt ater, ghehdient dughes con mutu sem secret, indecent ed bant jects. Ed taiper to sollit her – mi buit stayg alnos clar, kam monstrueus to eet ! Mien gwaukania os naiwo kwehre to buit fauran pact. Bet de quo tun wakyiet ed de kam Kromer me
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kweiniet durs io payn-ye mehne. Inkiep un nov martyrium pro me, to eet ne bad kafi. Aunhusur tohr io id tuich place, mien hands in mien geps. Nov aziyats, nov sclaverie ! Tun me kiel un fresch deub voc. Buim dekhschat ed bicurs. Semanghen apterdrahsit me, un hand siz me mliak-ye aptos. Eet Max Demian. Me prodahsim. « Es tu ? » ieyim io insure. « Tu me has tant dekhschat ! » Is me spohc, ed naiwo hieb eyso spect est tod uns balirh, os un superior ed transspector quem taiper. Diutos hieb wey neti tolcto con mutu. “Maaf”, iey is med sien curtese ed sammel baygh bestohmto manier. “Bet kleu, ne tehrps te tant sines dekhschate.” “Yaghi, vaht passe.” “Kwehc’ kam. Bet vid : quan tu te foracs pri semanghen quel tib hat kwohr’ neid, tun el semanghen bimehnt. To daumeiht el, curieuseiht el. El semanghen mehnt tu es ghi skaun-ye dekhschatet, ed el namehnt : tik it est anghen quan el hat paur. Feigs hant semper paur ; bet credeihm tu es neis feig. Ne ver ? Albatta neschi es tu un heroy. Sont jects qua tu bays ; sont semsci mensci qui tu bays. Ed to solliet anghen naiwo habe. No, menscens solliet anghen naiwo baye. Kwe tu ne bays me ? We ?” “Oh no, nel-ye.” “Exact, vids tu. Bet sont leuds qui tu bays ?” « Ne woidim... Lass me, quod vols tu ud me ? » Is apterstiup me – io hieb ghangen meis jaldi, samt fugbrens – ed io khiss eyso spect ex eys gon. “Accepte ghi”, mlouyit is, “od volo sell’ dia te. Nel-ye tehrps baye me. Kamiem kwehre un experiment con te, est glewost ed ghehds uces semject tetos quod est baygh util. Kau ghi ! – Also io probe yando un ilm namen brenleisen. Est neid vraj in id, bet quan anghen ne woid quosmed tod eet kwohrt, tun tengicit alnos aunsam. Leuds ghehde ses baygh surpris iosmed – nun, smadghi probe. Teghi
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kamo, we som interessen ab te ed eiskwo nun sbringhes kam to appareiht in te. Pro to ho io ja kwohrt id pres’ stieup. Te ho dekhschaten – also es tu bayasen. Sont ghi jects ed leuds qui tu bays. Quan anghen bayt semquel, to gwehmt ex id fact od anghen hat ijapt magh dia se ad semquel. Anghen hat mathalan kwohrn semject khiter, ed alyis woid to – tun hat el magh dia te. Tu capires ? Yed to est clar, ne ?” Io spohc zaboun eys lige quod eet serious intelligent kam aiwo, edschi dabron, bet aun cada tenderesse, id eet anter strehng. Justice au semject samlik wohs in id. Io ne wois quo mi wakyit; is oistahsit kam uno magicianos ant me. “Has tu fahamt ?” sprohg is iter meis. Io nuk. Io khiek sayge neid. “Io sieyg tib ya, kwehct bizarre, id brenleisen, bet tod leit alnos natural. Ghehdiem yaschi tib sayge mathalan destull exact-ye quod tu has mohnen de me, kun tib ho narret oins id storia om Cain ed Abel. Yed, to ne ghehldt pro taiper. Aym yaschi possible od has oins drohmen de me. Smad bet tyehgve to ! Es un clever pwarn, pleisti sont tem cacavan ! Gairn tolko her ed ter con un clever pwarn quom treuso. Samstehms tu ?” - Oh ya. Tik nel-ye fahamo. « Smad ghi remane con id glewost experiment ! Hams also trohft : is pwarn S est bayasen – is bayt semanghen – is hat mukhtmel-ye con tel alter un secret, quod ei est baygh desamat. Est to edvas druv ?” Kam in id drehm succubh io eys voc, eys influence. Io tik nuk. Ne bahsit ter un voc, quod ghohd gwehme tik ex meswo ? Quod wois quant ? Quod suagnohsit clarer-ye quem ioswo ? Kreptic-ye tip Demian mien oms. « Also ver. Kam fikrim. Nun tik oin question : woidst tu id nam ios pwarn qui hat just abghanct ? » Buim gvaltic-ye dekhschaten, mien schinghayn secret revrinkit gvolic-ye in me, id ne volit ses sub id luce. “Quis pwarn ? Eet neis pwarn ter, tik ego.” Is glih. “Sayg ghi !” glihsit is. “Quod est eys nam ?”
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Susurim : “Mayns tu iom Franz Kromer ?” Satisfact nuk is kye me. “Bravo ! Es un dohbro karl, nabihsiemos prients. Bet nun dehlgo io tib sayge semject : so Kromer, quodkwe est eys nam, est un khiter karl. Eys lige mi sayct is est un caltak ! Quod mayns tu ? » « O ya », sluct io ub, “is est khiter, is est un Satan ! Bet is tehrpt gnohe neid ! Yallah, is tehrpt gnohe neid ! Gnohs tu iom ? Gnoht is te ?” “Reman sakwn ! Hat abgwaht, ed ne me gnoht – ne bad. Aber kamiem gairn baygh bignohe iom. Gwaht is id primar scol ?” “Ya.” “In qualg classe ?” “In id penkt. – Bet sayg ei neid ! Plais, plais sayg ei neid !” « Reman sakwn, tib neid wakye ject. Suppono ne wehns mi narre lyt meis de tom Kromer ?” « Khako ! No, lass me ! » Is oiswig unte un khvil. “Sayang”, sieyg is tun, “habiemos ghohd’ dar natyices id experiment. Bet ne volo te aziyate. Bet ne druv, yed woidst, od tien baysa dia iom ne est semject ieust ? Un talg baysa nos gugheirt, dehlgmos abdehe id ud nos. Tu dehlcs abdehe id ud te, sei bihskws un prabh karl. Ghaps tu ? » « Sigwra, saycs alnos prabh... bet to ne leit. Tughi ne woidst... » « Has vis od woidim maung, meis quem habies mohnen. – Deulcs tu ei sem denars ? » « Ya, toschi, bet to ne est id principal. Khako sayge id ei, khako ! » “Neghi hehlpsiet, sei tib dahiem tant denars quem tu ei deulcs ? – Ya ghehdiem tib dahe ia. » “No, no, ne est to. Ed ib saygo : sayg neid de ! Neid werd ! Me biedaneihs !”
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“Antreus me, Sinclair. Me smyehreihsies serter voster secrets.” “Naiwo ! Naiwo !” cricim io vehement-ye. “Quaytlibt. Tik mayno kad mi saycsies oins meis. Tik voluntar-ye, aweis ! Ne vahs mehne od kwehrsiem kam isswo Kromer ?” “Oh no – bet gnohs khich de !” “Khich. Tik namehno de. Ed naiwo siem io kwehre kam Kromer kwehrt, maghs me credihes. Tughi mi deulcs neid.” Swigam diu, ed bihsim sakwner. Bet Demians weida mi eebeibiht meis enigmatic. “Nun reiko hem”, sieyg is ed is sohr in id seuyo sien lodenmantel darmer protie se. “Kamiem tib sayge dar oin iter, ob nies tolk biht ja khatem – dehlgies abdehe tom karl ud te ! Sei neid alyo wehrct, tun gvehn iom ! Mi impremiet ed plaisiet sei tu kwehries to. Yaschi te hehlpiem.” Iter hiebim paur. Id storia os Cain renfiell mi stayg iter. To mi bihsit alien, ed io mliak-ye biplieng. Eet pior alien perambh me. “Tun gohd”, smih Max Demian. « Gwirlay ghi ! Kad kwehrsiemos id ne. Quayque nergvon esiet id simplest. In talg jects est id simplest semper id gohdst. Es in nia sell hands con tien prient Kromer.” Io gwirliey, ed mi kwohk io hieb abgwaht unte oino yar. Quanto tengicit different. Inter me ed Kromer eet semjecto kam future, semjecto kam speh. Neti eem mon ! Ed bad tun vis io, kam dekhschatic-ye io hieb esen mon con mien secret unte hevds ed hevds. Ed stayg mi enfiell quo hiebim bemohnto maungs : od un confession rehmiet me, lakin ne me redempiet alnos. Nun hieb io quasi confetten alyi, uni tarnien, ed un prekhisses os redemption plukit kye me kam un akster profume ! Yed mien paur ne eet dalgtos bad uperwohndt, ed eem dar tayar ad long ed dekhschatic confrontations con mien peind. Itak mi buit dar skauner od quanto jinkdousit tem still, tem alnos secret ed sakwn. Id sweih os Kromer ant nies dom ne udcliengh, oino dien, dwo diens, tri diens, unte oin hevd. Nel-ye dursim credihes to, ed luurim eni me, an is ne stahiet iter ter stayg, esdi is esiet naiweti exspecten. Bet is eet ed remien absent ! Mistreusend id nov lure, io ne credih druve-ye in id. Hina bad oins incontrim
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Franz Kromer. Is gwohm ghom id Seilergasse, seid kyant me. Kun is me vis, is oisprud, eys lige vrink do un desolat frad ed abgir aun kunges kay ne dehlge incontre me. To buit pro me un ajib dakika ! Mien peind fug ud me ! Mien Satan biey me ! Me peritohr noroc ed surprise. Unte ta diens, Demian se redik oins. Is me skohpt ant id scol. “Sellamat”, ieyim io. “Sell aghyern, Sinclair. Volim just aure kam leits tu. Is Kromer te linkwt nun bad in pace, ne ?” “Has tu kwohrt to ? Bet kam tar ? Kam tar ? Nel-ye ghabo to. Is hat alnos manen apo.” “To est gohd. Sei is aiwo regwehmiet – mehno niet kwehre to, bet is est ya un insolent karl – tun sayg ei just is maghiet mehne de Demian.” “Bet quod est id sibia ? Has tu dil’ con iom ed plagelt iom ? » « No, ne kwehro gairn to. Ho just tolken con iom, tem quem con teschi, ed ho fahamihn iom est eys wi interesse te linkwes in pace.” “Oh, ne habsies yed daht ei denars ?” “No, mien pwarn. Has ja proben tod weidos.” Is abrusch, nespekent io pit jawabe ei, ed me rewohsim con id veuto desamat khisses dia iom, quod eet un stragno mix ex schakiria ed timiditat, daumos ed paur, sympathia ed inner reticence. Io revidskwim iom mox, ed tun volim io tolke meis con iom de hol, edschi dar re Cain. To ne tyohc it. Schakiria est nel-ye un virtut in quod ho fid, ed kupes id ud un magv mi kwohkit ghaw. Itak io ne dieum de mien wi complete schakiria meg, quod io bevis dia Max Demian. Credeihm hoyd samt yakinia od habiem biht sieug ed ruinen pro gwit sei is ne me habiet lurt ex Kromers fangh. Tod leuren khiss io yaschi tun ja

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ka id megsto gwivmen os mien yun gwit – men ablikwim iomswo leurer yant is hiebit parkwohrn id daumos. Curieus est id schakiria, kam sayct, mi ne. Stragn est mi tik id mank os curiositat quod io bevis. Kam eet possible od nagwivim sakwn-ye unte oino dien aun lites proscher ia secrets con qua Demian hieb me bright ? Kam ghohd io protiedare id curiositat os aure meis de Cain, meis de Kromer, meis de brenleisen ? Est payn ghabim, edghi est it. Io vis me stayg displohcen ex demonic nets, revis id mund kweiter ed joyeus ant me, neti succubhim pauradfalls ni waurgend kerdbats. Id waldh eet brohct, neti eem un aziyaten aforiseit, eem iter un scolpwarn kam semper. Mien buhsa iskwit tem oku quem possible retrehve sien tula ed sien serenitat, ed itak se strohng bilhassa ad repulge ud se ed myehrse ia multa cherkin ed tehrgend jects. Daumos-ye oku absnohg id holo long storia om mien skult ed angst ex mieno memoria, aun apterlinkwus visible-ye quagvonc schrams ed pondsa. Od io pit myehrse tem jaldi mien hehlper ed salvor ghabo io nundiens dar. Ex id riouda vallee miens azab, ex id dekhschatic sclaverie ab Kromer fug io med quant pulsions ed forces os mien sauct atmen do quer io hieb esen prever noroct ed vessel : do id lust paradays quod iter ghyahsit, do id kweiter dadmamsmund, bi ians swesters, do id xiauki os purtat, do Abels pietat. Ja ye id dien pos mien cort tolk con Demian, kun buim bad alnos convicen de mien regaisst lure ed neti biey pohdye, kwohr io quo io hieb mi tem ops ed desperat-ye vanschen – io confess. Gwahsim bi mienu mater, ay dik id sparcutia quos sayp eet sauct ed quod pohld med leikpiengs vice denars, ed ay narrim kamdiu io me hieb attachen uni khiter aziyater per wi fault. Ia ne ghieb quant, bet ia vis id cutia, ia vis mien changet spect, ieur un changet voc, khiss, od io hieb nohst ed est ay redaht. Ed taiper celebrim samt hog khisses id fest miens readmission, id koimreiko ios lusen son. Ia mater me brigh ei pater, id storia buit repetiht, questions ed taajubs waurs mutu, bo parents bruk mien cap ed ann ob long oppression ex. Quant buit grandiose, quant buit kam in ia basma, quant se resolvit do un daumost harmonia. Do tod harmonia fug io taiper samt ver passion. Io khiek satasce med io hieb iter mien pace ed id trust im parents, bihsim un exemplar dompwarn, lik meis quem aiwo con mien swesters ed sohngv unte ia prehgens ia kyar veut songva samt khisses om redempen ed converten. Tod lit ex mien kerd, eet neid leugh eni.

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Yed to eet ne alnos in aurdhen ! Ed eno point expliet druve-ye mien zahilses dia Demian. Ei ge habiem io tohrpt confette ! Id confession habiet wohrten minter decorative ed emovant, bet pro me brungoster. Taiper antgrip io med quant raudhs mien prever paradaysic mund, hieb rict hem ed grace. Demian de nel-ye bieygh tod mund, ne dohbh id. Isschi eet, als quem Kromer bet lakin – isschi eet un tentator, isschi me yug ei dwoter, khiter, cherkini mund, ed de tod taiper pro aiwo neti gnohskwim. Io khiek ni vole taiper prodahe Abel ni hehlpe ad klewosdehe, kunkye ioswo hieb chiowdeo rebihn un Abel. It eet id extro contexte. Id intro eet lakin tod : eem ludhert ex Kromer ed iom Diabel sbei ghesors, bet ne per mien wi force ed moini. Hiebim piten ravane ep ia paunds ios mund, ed ia hieb est pior sleubric pro me. Taiper, dat id waldh uns winghesor me hieb salven, redrahsim, auneti glanzes extro, do id gremium unias mater ed do id salvtat uns cocollt, zakir miegve. Io me kwohr yuner, meis dependent ed magvisk quem eem. Io dohlg taye id dependence dia Kromer med un nov, ar ne siegvim gwahe mon. Tun chus io, in mien blind kerd, id dependence dia dadmam, dia id veut liubhen “gwayder mund”, de quod yed ja gnohsim od id ne eet id saul. Sei ne habiem kwohrt to, tun habiem io dohlcto dare Demian ed confide bei. Od io ne kwohr to mi kwohk tun ka justifieno mistrusto dia eys bizarre brens; in druve eet neid alyo quem paur. Ar Demian habiet kupt ud me meis quem mien parents habient, maung-ye meis, is habiet piten swoboderihes me med persuasion ed maunen, med sarcasme ed ironia. Ah, nundiens io woid : neid tienxia est al mensci meis kados quem kwehre id itner quod el alswo duct ! Lakin io khiek resiste id tentation, circa oin pwolyar serter, ed sprohg unte un spassere mien pater quod tohrb ses mohnto de ma pelu leuds declareer Cain seller quem Abel. Is meg stieun ed mi explicit to eet un vidpoint quod ne eet nov. Id hieb ja prohpen unte id orchristian zaman ed esen lohrn in sects, ex qua oin se niem « Cainites ». Bet naturelika eet tod foll dars neid alyo quem un peiten ios diabel kay destruge nies fid. Ar eet crediht in Cains priebhe ed Abels nepriebhe, ar eet deducto tetos od Div habiet rhalten, odschi is Div ios Bible ne esiet is rect ed wahid sontern un fals. Ighi Cainites habient lohrt ed prechet semschi samlik : ob tod heresie hieb diutos disparihn ex menscgenos, is oistieun just od un scoldust os me hieb ghohdt manthes semjecto de. Quodkwe bih to is me mieun serieus-ye de behrge me ud ta brens.

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Is Latro Esiet bell, tender ed maedwn lehctu de mieno miegve, de mien salvtat bi dadmam, de xiau ed destull-ye leikwent gwit in mliak, khauris, gwayder ambients. Bet me interessent tik ia stieups ho kwohrt in mien gwit kay nake meswo. Vasya jamile rahatpoints, noroc-insules ed paradaysa, quom soitos ne mi remienit negnohn, linkwo io lyehge in id arg os piern ed ne gheido iter trehde ia. Itak bahm, tando me forwehso dar in mien pwarntid, tik de quod nov mi ubgwohm, quod me puscit perodh, me abrohv. Semper gwohm ta stimules ex “alter mund”, semper ia brigh paur, dwinegh ed khak conscience con se, semper eent ia revolutionar ed menaceer id pace in quod habiem gairn-ye nawict. Gwohm ia yars unte qua io iter dohlg aunstehge od in meswo gwivit un orpulsion, quod dohlg se forrempes ed lantes in id permiss ed gwayder mund. Kam cada mensc, itschi me attaquit id lent-ye sbeudend khisses ios sexe ka peind ed destructor, ka interdeht, ka seduction ed synt. Quo mien curiositat pieursk, quo mi drehms, hassadia ed paur kwohr, id megil secret ios pubertat, nel-ye dohbh in id cocollen felicitat mienios magvpace. Io kwohr kam quanti. Io ieg id double gwit ios magv, qui lakin est neti uno magv. Mieno menos gwivit in id domestic ed permitten, mieno menos negit id auskend nov mund. Nieb to yed gwivim io in drehms, pulsions, vanscha os gixia buhsa, uper quo cid conscient gwit se struxit semper paurwent brigvs, ar id miegvemund collapsit in me. Kam quasi quant parents, hohlp ischi mieni ne id sbeudend gwitpulsion, de quod ne eet beibahmen. I hohlp tik, med inexhaustible kaur, mien desperat peitens om nege id real ed nawikes in uno magvmund quod eebeibiht irrealer ed leughwenter. Io ne woid an parents herin ghehde kwehre maung, ed ne mambho to mienims. Eent mien wi besoyn, bihe parat ed trehve mien itner, ed io duskwohr mien besoyn, kam pleisti tamijdars. Cada menscis gwivt tod difficultat. Pro id mutawassit est to id centre irs gwit, kun id keup ios wi gwit gwehmt do conflicto con id ambient kaurdst-ye, kun anghen dehlct se sehnde perodh bitterst-ye. Maungi gwive id mehren ed id regnahsa, qua nies meinyun est, tik oins in id gwit, unte id kahisch ed lent collapse os miegve, quando quanto hat bihn kyar nos vaht linkwes ed kheissmos stayg id khalwa ed id katel srigos ios weru seddos ambh nos. Ed meg bayghs naadglehmernt pro aiwo tod behrg ed diehne ir hol gwit gvol-ye ei nerebringhim prev, ei sohgno ios lusen paradaysios, quod est id khakst ed id katelst vasyen sohgnen.

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Smad volge iter kyid storia. Id khisses ed onirs, in qua se mohld mi id fin os miegve, ne sont kafi important pro ses lohgen. Id important eet od id « sombre mund », « alter mund » eet iter ter. Quo hieb est Franz Kromer prevst, to eeteupt taiper in meswo. Ed it regaiss extos “alter mundo” magh uper me. Pon id storia con Kromer hiebeer plur yars dohnen. Cid dramatic ed skultwento tid miens gwit lyohg prevst baygh dalg ud me ed kwohkit kam un cort coschmar wakyevs in nischto. Franz Kromer hieb diutos dispariht ex mien gwit, payn kieusim iom kun incontrim iom oins. Alter important figure miens tragedia yed, Max Demian, disparih ne meis alnos ex mien jawar. Stahsit ghi diu dalg-ye leizd-ye, visible, lakin-ye ne active. Tik tadrijan gwohmyit is proscher, strohlyit force ed influence ex se. Peito mohmye quo woidim de Demian ye cid tid. Kad unte un yar au diuter ne ye oin ker ho tolcto con iom. Io men vergih iom, ed is de ne se impos. Edvas oins, quan incontram mutu, nuk is mi. Kwohk mi tun ex tid do tid od eet in eys maedwnia un subtile nuance os honn au ironic mambh, bet kad to buit fiker. Id storia io hieb gwiven con iom, ed id stragn influence is hiebit prevst-ye tyict ep me, eent kam myohrsen, ab iom kam ab me. Paursko eys figure, ed nun kun io mohmye iom, vido io od is eet yed ter ed eet kaun ab me. Iom vido gwahe scol, mon au inter alyens iom ater scolers, ed iom vido stragn, mon ed still, kam un aster errend inter iens, perambhen ab un wi hava, gwivend sub wi loys. Nimen liubh iom, nimen eet in trust con iom, tik eys mater, ed con iamschi kwohk is sulouke ne kam uno magv, sontern kam un balirh. Ies daskals likweer iom possiblest-ye in rahat, is eet un gohd scoler, bet is pit plaise niom, eekwahkwahmos wey rumor-ye quodlibt werd, un commente au un jawab, quod is sollit dahvs uni daskal ed quod ieu nel-ye abrupto challenge, ni ironia. Io mohmye, samt clus okwi, ed vido eys kwiter prehpe. Quer eet to ? Ya, nun est to iter ter. To eet ep id gatva pre nies dom. Ter vis io iom sem dien stahe, un bukil in id hand, ed vis iom risses. Is riss id veut vapwnkwiter con el av uper nies aneta. Ed stahsim claus un fenster, kulken apter id cortin, ed spohc iom, ed visim samt profundo staun eys attentive, khuld, kweiter lige wohrt kyid vapwn, id lige uns wir, uns paursker au artiste, superior ed pleno med vol, stragn-ye kweiter ed khuld, samt connaisseur okwi. Ed iter vido iom. Eet lyt serter, ep id strad; wey quanti stahsam, gwehmend ex id scol, ambh un ekwem, quel hieb fallen. El lyohg, dar dverwt ei oyos, ant un agrent wogh, eepipnehst implorant-ye ed schaki-ye med ghyanen neusters do id air ed sohrg ex un invisible vurnos, tem quem ep els gon id kwito stradduilo lent-ye turs. Kun io, samt un khisses os nausea, disvols ud id skau, vis io
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Demians lige. Is hieb ne urs perodh, is oistahsit apter, yow ed destull elegant, kam ei buit wi. Eyso specto kwohk trohpen kyid cap al ekwes ed hieb iter tod profund, still, quasi fanatic yed aunpassion attention. Io dohlg spehce iom diu, ed tun khiss io, dar dalg exter conscience, semject baygh particular. Io vis Demians lige, ed io vis ne tik, od is ne hieb un pwarnlige, sontern tod uns wir ; io vis dar meis, io credih vide, we spruves, od tod neschi eet id lige uns wir, sontern dar alyo ject. Eet kamsei eet yaschi semject uns gwenlige in id edghi kwohk mi id lige, unte uno mic, ne wirlik ni magvlik, ne veut ni yun, sontern semkam tusentat, semkam aunwakt, stempelt ab alya waktdrunas, quem gwivmos ia. Animals ghohd kwehke it, au drus, au stars – io ne wois to, io ne khiss exact-ye quo nun saygo de to ka balirh, bet semject samlik. Kad is eet bell, kad is ne me plaisit, kadschi is mi eet kados, toschi eet ne decisu. Io vis tik : is eet alyo quem wey, is eet kam un animal, au kam un drukh, au kam un kwiter, io ne woid kam is eet als, nemehnim-ye als quem wey quanti. Ne meis mi sayct id mehmen, ed kad toschi est part-ye ja tyict ex serter pondsa. Bad kun buim plurater, vigwohm io iter in prokwem contacto con iom. Demian ne hieb esen confirmen con sien samats in id kyrk kam id swohd habiet kupt, ed ad toschi se hieb attachen iter fauran rumors. Buit iter sayct in id scol is eet druve-ye un iudi, au ne, un pagan, ed alyi wois od is esiet kam siena mater aun cada religion ed bayghiet un fabuleus, khiter sect. In conjunction con to mehno io yaschi kwahus id suspecen od is gwiviet con sienu mater kam un lieubherin. Supposible eet is hieb est alto tuntro aun agama, nun dohlg sem sorte os nao ses bayn pro eys future. Lakin karrier siena mater, dwo yars serter quem eys samats, smyehrihes iom id confirmation. Itak is buit unte munts mien dust os confirmationstalim. Unte un khvil io mien meg apo iom, ne smyohrskwim con iom, pro me eet is pior perambhto med rumors ed secrets, yed me sturb id khisses os obligation quod hieb etilikwen in me pon id affaire con Kromer. Edghi prevst hieb io habt kafi diltu con mien wi secrets. Pro me coincis id confirmationstalim con id tid iom decisive declarations de sexe jects, ed nespekent sell vol buit mien interesse dia id zakir lehren baygh affecen ab to. Ia jects de qua id spiritual tolkit, lyohg wayt dalg ud me in un still iser irrealitat, kad eent alnos bell ed kamatih, bet nelye actual ni excitant, ed cia alya jects eent exact-ye it in hogst meid. Ye meis me indifferentih dia id talim taiper tod stand, ye proscher Max Demian lit iter mien interesse. Quodgvonc kwohk yunges nos. Dehlgo trace tod sioul possiblest-ye precis. Tem maung-ye quem ghehdo mohmye, inkiep id ye un saat aus in id aghyern, kun dar luce blig in id scolkyal. Nies religieus daskal hieb gwohmto do tolke Cain ed Abel sbei storia. Io payn kieur, eem raflatic ed payn klusim. Tun bitolkit is pastor jahar insistent-ye de id signe os Cain. Ye tod
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instant spruv io un sorte os emotion au maunen, ed io vis ub ud ia front benkroigs id lige os Demian retrowohrten kye me, samt un kweiter bahnd ok, quos expression ghohd ses tem goilen quem serietat. Tik unte uno moment spohc is me, ed stayg-ye klu io tens-ye ia werds ios pastor, ieur iom tolke de Cain ed eyso signe, ed khiss deub in me un weida, quod ne eet quem tod is lohr, od to ghohd ses consideren als, ed od critique ter eet possible ! Med tod minute buit iter inter Demian ed me un diemen ter. Ed stragn-ye – payn eet tod khisses os un certain sambayghti in id synto ter, it vis io id kam transporten per magia do id physic space. Io ne wois kweter is ghohd provoque to we to eet uno mer hasard – io credih prevst-ye dar akster-ye in coincidences – pos pauk diens hieb Demian stayg changet sien place unte id religionsdars ed sessit just ant me (dar woidim kam gairn medsu id air iom paupers ios uperplen scolkyal in id aghyern io ann ud eys neuk id tenderfrescho sapunodor in !), ed iter pos oika diens is hieb mutaplacen ed sess taiper nieb me, ed ter na-sess is, unte id hol winter ed id hol pirmwer. Ia aghyerndarsa se hieb alnos transformen. Eent neti raflatic ed plictic. Io ghiewd ia. Maungs klusam wey bo samt id mierst attention iom pastor, un spect ab mieno nieber eet kafi kay kauihes me un skaun storia, un stragno proverb. Ed alyo spect ab me, un alnos bestohmen, eet kafi kay maune me ad isnahe critique ed dwoi in me. Yed baygh ops eems khaki scolers ed klusam neid ios talim. Demian eet semper tamijdar dia daskal ed conscolers, naiwo visim iom kwehre scolpwarncacavanias, naiwo buit is aurn glihes we balbel jahar, naiw attrieg is sib uno mambh ios daskal. Bet alnos ye khafi voc, ed meis med znaycs ed spects quem med susurwerds sisit is fahame me smyehre eys wi activitats. Ta eent partye os un skaun genos. Is mi sieyg mathalan, quoy ex iens scolers iom interesseer, ed ye quod weidos is oistudyit iens. Maungens gnohsit is baygh precis-ye. Is mi sieyg pre id lection : “Quando tib znaycsiem med mien pallex, tun siet is ed is ambhspehce kye nos, we graze sien neuk” ed yunyun. Unte id dars tun, quan io ops payn mohn de, wohrt Max stayg sien pallex kye me med ubfallend geste, io spohc oku kyom kyusto scoler ed vis iom ielgs, kam tract med un viel, kwehre id iskwto geste. Eepiprehgo Max kem is pit to oins yaschi med iom daskal, yed is ne kwohrskwit to. Bet oins, kun io gwohm do id dars ed ei sieyg od io ne hieb ucen mien almentaska ed baygh spehsim kem is pastor beudiet neid ud me, tun is me hohlp. Is pastor pieursk un scoler quom is volit recitihes un schtuk os catechisme, ed eys errant ok nahieng uper mien skultconscient lige. Lent-ye gwohm is prosch, rexit sien fingher kye me, hieb ja mieno nam ep sien lipps – tun bihsit is stayg distragen au bfuyow, protietraxit sien colnier, stiup kye Demian qui spohc darm30

ye eys lige, kwohk sprehcskwe iom, yed abvolsit surprindant-ye, diu kwies, ed bud tun alyo scoler. Io vikieu, menxu ta scherza baygh me zalisseer, od mien prient ieg frequent-ye id sam leiko dia me. Ubgwohm od io untitner kyid scol stayg hieb id khisses od Demian apterghieng me distant-ye, ed kun io vols eet is druve-ye ter. “Ghehds tu wi-ye kwehre kem alyis dehlc’ mehne quo tu eiskws ?” io sprohg iom ? Is mi dahsit khalal-ye information, sakwn-ye ed objective-ye, ye sien balirh manier. “No”, ieyit is, “nimen ghehdt to. Anghen ghi hat neid leudher vol, esdi is pastor kwehrt kamsei. Neter ghehdt alyis mehne quodlibt, ni ghehdo io mehmihes el quo volo. Yed semanghen ghehdt ses suaobserven, ed tun ghehdt ses ops takriban saygen quod el mehnt we kheisst, ed tun ghehdt pleistens ses yaschi previs quod el kwehrsiet ye id niebst instant. To est baygh simple, yed leuds ne woideer to. Naturelika est exercice naudht. Sont mathalan bayna i pelpels certain matils bayna qui ias wedus sont meg rarer quem ies ersens. Matils se reproduce exact-ye kam vasyi animals, is ersen behrnteiht iam wedu, qua poskwo gehnt oivs. Quando yed est oin wedu ex ti matils – naturalistes hant ops probet to – tun gwehme pleukend-ye in id noct ies ersen matils unte hors ! Unte hors fiker ghi ! Ud maung kilometers neuse quant toy ersens iam oin wedu in id gaivia ! Est pit explie to, bet est difficil. To sollt ses un sorte os odorat, lyt kam gohd zagars trehve ed ghehde sehkwe un nekwahim ighnos. Ghaps tu ? Nature est plen med solg jects qua nimen ghehdt explie. Bet saygo taiper : sei bayna ti pelpels ias wedus habient esen tem frequent quem ies ersens, toy ne hatta habient ta nafiz nasa ! Ies hant ia tik ob se hant strohngen ad to. Quan un animal au un mensc direct sien hol attention ed sien hol vol kyun bestohmt ject, tun el obtent id. To est quant. Ed est lika de quo mayns. Spehc destull precis-ye un mensc, ed woidsies de el meis quem elswo. » Swohrskwim id werd « brenleisen » ed mehmihskwim iom id scene con Kromer, quod eet tem prev. Bet to eet taiper un stragno ject inter nos bo : naiwo ed naiwiter is ni ego allus kamkwe od is hieb tem serieus-ye intervenen do mien gwito tant yars prever. Eet kamsei neid hieb wakyen inter nos prever, we kamsei ieter om nos antrus darm-ye od alter hieb myohrst to. Ubgwohm, oins au dwis, od wey comghieng ep id strad ed incontram iom Franz Kromer, bet exchangeam neid spect ni sieyg werdo de iom. “Bet quod nun de id vol ?” sprohg io. « Saycs od anghen hat neid leudher vol. Bet tun saycs tu iter, od anghen tehrpt tik trehpe darm-ye sien vol ep semject kay
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nake sien ziel. To hat neid sense ! Sei ne waldho mien vol, tunschi khako trehpe id kamlibt tetro au cetro.” Is tip mien oms. Is kwohr semper to quan ei dahsim joy. “Gohd, od sprehcs !” iey is gleihnd-ye. “Anghen dehlct semper sprehge, anghen dehlct semper dwoye. Bet id ject est baygh simple. Sei mathalan filan matil trehpskwiet sien vol ep un star au sonstquetro, el khakiet to. Elghi nel-ye peit to. El eiskwt tik quo hat sense ed wirt pro el, quo el tehrpt, quo el mutlak dehlct habe. Ed hatta ter kamyapt el id incredible – el antplehct un magic sixto sense, quod neid alyis animal exter el hat ! Weysmee habmos meis leikrewos, sigwra, ed meis interesses quem animals. Bet weyschi smos bohnden in un nisbatan destull angh circule quod khakmos salge. Ya magho khayale de to ed to, fiker od gwahskwo mutlak id nord pole, au semject samlik, bet ghehdo parkwehre ed vole kafi akster-ye id tik sei id vansch lyehct alnos in meswo, sei druve-ye mien ses pehldt alnos tosmed. Yant to est id fall, yant tu probes quo tu es wohlt ab eni, tun ghehds tu dverwnes tien vol kam un gohd cavall. Sei mathalan nun entreprindiem od pliehcskwiem ke nies Poti Pastor neti siet vehse bril, to ne wehrct. To est just galeikos. Bet kun io, prevst in osyern, hieb id darm vol ke buim mutaseddihn ex mien benk, in id front, tun id wohrg. Tun buit stayg oin ter, qui gwohm pre me in id alphabet ed qui hieb esen sieug tuntro, ed ob neis ei dahskwit sem place, buim naturelika so qui kwohr ob mien vol eet parat ad sizes fauran tod waurmen.” “Ya”, ieyim io, “io hieb pohnden to prevst baygh special. Pon id instant kun hams nos interesset pro mutu, has tu semper wohst proscher me. Bet kam ? Inkap has tu lakin ne gwohmt ad sedde just nieb me, tu preter sess oiks ep id benk ant me, ne ? Quosmed tyohc to ?” “To buit it : ioswo ne wois exact-ye quetro iskwim, kun io viensch linkwes mien prest place. Io tik wois od seddskwim wayter apter. Mien vol eet gwehme prosch me, bet io ne hieb bad consciet id. Sammel prohp tien wi vol ed me hohlp. Bad kun io sess ant te, io vighieb od mien vansch eet bad pwolplehn – io kieu odghi io hieb iskwt neid als quem sedde nieb te.” “Bet prevst hat prohpen neis novgwehmer.” “No, ioghi prevst kwohr mer-ye quodlibt, ed sess nieb te aun kunges. Is pwarn, con quom io mutaplacim, jus’ stieun ed me sis kwehre. Ed is Pastor kieu albatt od ter hieb est un change – bilhassa, ielgs kun is hat kwehrtu con me, semject aziyat iom rahas-ye, isghi woid od mien nam est Demian ed od ne poitto ob D ka prest buksteiv os mien nam sedde ter baygh apter bayna S ! Bet to ne nact eys conscience, ob mien vol est contra to ed ob stistambho ei to. Is kikaut od semject
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ne leit, me spehct ed reict id studye, is sell Poti. Ter ho io un simple zariya. Spispehco darm-ye eys okwi. Quasi vasyi leuds dustehle to. Vasyi bihnt bfuyow. Quando vols obtene semject ud semanghen, ed vids inexspecten-ye darm-ye els okwi, ed el ne biht alnos bfuyow, tun tyehgv ! Obtensies naiwo ject ud el ! Bet to est baygh rar. Gnohm ghi just oin mensc bi quam to ne me hehlpt.” “Qua est ia ?” sprohg io oku. Is me spohc med midcluden okwi, kam is hieb kun is eemimehnt. Tun abglaz is ed dahsit neid antwehrd ed io khiek, nespekent vehement curiositat, repetihes id question. Men credeihm od is tolkit tun de sienu mater. – Con iam kwohk is gwive baygh intim-ye, bet naiwo bahsit de iam, naiwo nih me do sien dom. Io payn wois kam quod kwohk eys mater. Pelus kwohr io prevst-ye peitens om imite iom ed tankes mien vol ep semjecto quod io dohlg nake. Ter eent vanscha qua mi kwohkeer kafi urgent. Bet neid tyohc ni wohrg. Io ne brigh to ad tolke con Demian. Quo mi vienschim habiem io khaken itirafe ei. Ed isschi ne sprohg. Mien credulitato de religionsquestions hieb entrim daken pelu kowngbaykus. Lakin io me enderkwit, in mieno menos alnos influen ab Demian, baygh ud tens mienen conscolars quoy hiebeer bevis un total non-fid. Eent oik solgs, ed ies sis waurmen-ye aure werds kam od eet joking ed menscnewirtic credihes in un Div, ed od storias kam ta ios Trinitat au ios Immaculat Conception os Jesus eent gleihtu, ed od eet un scham colportage dar nundiens tod mukuzay. Io nel-ye mohn it. Querkwe io hieb dwoi, woisim io yed ex id hol experience mienios miegve id realitat os un zakir gwit, edvas kam mien parents ieg, ed od tod neter eet semject newirtic ni hypocrite. Bilax hieb io profundst yazgos dia id religieus. Tik hieb me Demian swehdihn considere ed tolke ia narns ed dogmes leurer, personaler, med meis jok ed fantasia; bariem ee-sisehkwo io ia maynens, qua is mi suggestit, gairn ed samt plaisure. Maung, frank-ye, mi eet pior abrupt, idschi re Cain. Ed oins unte id confirmationsdocen dekhschiet is me med un conception quod eet dar bilkull serbeser. Is daskal hiebit bahn de id Golgotha. Id biblic bayan de id passion ed nehc ios Salvor mi hieb kwohrn pon aussto tid profund pondos, pelus hieb io ka lytil pwarn, ambh Megil Juma, pos mien pater hieb nos lisen id passionsnarn, gwiven intim-ye ed emot in tod kwehnd-ye bell, pall, kabuslik yed immens-ye wasahalik mund, in Gatschmanei ed ep id Golgotha, ed unte id kleuster ios Matyahpassion ab Bach hieb me submergen id sombre-ye staur passionsdiutis tos mysterieus mund samt quanta mystic tremblens. Trehvo dar nundiens in tod music, ed in id “actus tragicus” id incarnation quants poesis ed quants artistic expression.
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Tun mi sieyg Demian ye id endo cios dars pensive-ye : “To est semject, Sinclair, quod ne me plaist. Perileis oins id storia ed probe id ep tien dingv, est ter semject, quod smehct fade. Nam-ye id re iom dwo latros. Kam grandiose stahnt ia tri cruces nieb mutu ep id clin ! Bet nun tod sentimental storia os lytil tractat con iom sell latro ! Preter eet is un criminal ed hat committen agsa, Div woid to hol, ed nun is se confundt ed celebre un talg dakruend fest om kayjin ed pischman ! Quod tar sense hat un solg pischman ye dwo stieups dalg ud id tumbh, te sprehgo ? Iter est tod neid als quem un druv plebanen storia, suave ed dreughwent, besmurn med emotion ed hogst-ye maarific aptergrund. Sei hoyd tu dehlgies chuses ka prient we mohmye uter latro, ad quoter maghies tu anter dahe tien trust, ne est baygh sigwra tei flehnend convers. No, alter ghi est un karl qui hat pinseing. Is bespieut un conversion, quod ya in eys situation esiet ne meis quem jamile gatolkos, is kwehrt sien itner tiel id fin ni reneget ye ajal iom Diabel, qui hat iom dohlgen hehlpe tuntro. Hat pinseing, ed pinseingwent leuds gwehme pior cort in id biblic narn. Kad est is un descendant os Cain. Ne mayns tu ?” Buim baygh taraght. Her in id crufixionstoria hieb io alnos credihn ses hemi ed vis bad tun, kam pau personal-ye, kam med pau imagination ed fantasia io hieb klustert ed list id. Yed mi swohn Demians nov bren fatal ed menacit uperwaldhe concepts in me quom mussalsal existence io credih didare. Noghi, it ne miegh ses beliken quant ed cada, nischi id sakerst. Is kieu mien resistence, kam semper, fauran, hatta pre io sieyg quod. “Yaghi woidim”, iey is resignet-ye, “to est un veut storia. Just mae ay serieus id ! Bet tib saycskwo ject : her est oin iom points quer id default tos religion baygh-ye kweit. Leit de od so hol Div, os vetus ed nov Testament, albatt est un mumtase figure, bet ne quod is lakin tehrbiet represente. Is est id Sell, id Noble, id Paternal, id Bell edschi id Hog, id Sentimental, baygh ver ! Bet id mund comprindt yaschi alyo. Ed to est nun alnos mer-ye assignen ei Diabel, ed tod hol deil ios mund, tod hol dwidel biht enderslahn ed beswighen. Tem quem laudent Div ka Pater Peltewih, bet id hol sexual gwit, epghi quod id gwit yed keiht, merye besweighent ed declarent bilkull ka Diabelsject ed syntlik ! Ho neid contra od so Div Jehovah sia yazgen, khich. Bey mayno tehrbiemos yazge ed aye saker quant, id hol mund, ne just tod artificial-ye separen, official dwidel ! Itak dehlgmos wey habe nieb id Divdyinst yaschi un Diabeldyinst. Pehndiem to ieust. Autah un Div dehlgiet ses creen qui includt iomschi Diabel in se, ed ant quom okwi ne dehlgent ses waurs cluden quan ia naturalsta jects ios mundios tyehce. »

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Is hieb, contra sien buhsa, bihn quasi vehement, just poskwo smihsit is iter ed stopit kwehre me besic. Bet in me hihr ta werds id enigma mienen hol pwarnyars, quod io bohr in me ye cada saat ed de quod io hieb naiwo saygen werd ad anghen. Quo Demian hieb ter saycto de Div ed Diabel, de id divin-official ed id betaycen diabolic mund eet ya exact-ye mien wi men, mien wi mythos, id men iom bo munds au munddwidels – ios gwayder ed ios sombre. Id kweiten, od mien probleme eet un probleme vasyen menscen, un probleme quanten gwit ed men, uperpluk me stayg-ye kam un iser skadh, ed paur ed yazgos upergwohmeer me, kun io vis ed fujatan khiss kam profund-ye mien wist, personal gwit ed mayns oismyohr id abadic strohm iom dawis. Id kweiten ne eet vessel, quayque semkam confirmant ed gratificant. Eet kaurd ed smohg rauk, ob in id lyohg un clangh os massoulia, os netipoittsesmagv, os khalwa. Io lohg, ye id prest ker in mien gwit aunkehldernd un tem profund secret, mieni dust mien conception iom “dwo munds” quod ee-existneut pon mien ausst magvdiens, ed is vis fauran od tosmed mien profundst khisses iom bepriebh ed bid. Lakin-ye ne eet eys weidos folossie talgo. Is klu samt profunder attention quem is mi hieb aiwo schohnken, ed spohc do mien okwi hin io dohlg diswehrte ia. Ioghi vis in eys glanez iter tod stragno, animallik aunwaktia, tod rhayr-fikrim oumer. “Alyes tolcsiemos meis de”, iey is gentile-ye. “Vido od mehns meis quem tu maghs sayge semqual. Sei to est it nun, tun woidst tu odschi ne has alnos gwiven quo tu mohnst, ed to ne est gohd. Tik id menos quod gwivmos hat un wirt. Wewoisst od tien “permiss” mund eet wahid-ye id dwidel ios mund, ed has pit enderslahmes in te id dwoter mund, kam kwehrnt pastors ed daskals. Nies kamyabe ! Nimen kamyapt yant el hat inkapen mimehne.” To me tariegh profund-ye. “Bet”, cricim io oku, “lakin sont druve-ye sem bant ed haisstible jects, to khacs nege ! Sont ghi bant, ed dehlgmos tyehgve ia. Ioghi woid od existent maurdh ed vasya possible eakias, bet kwe tehrbiem, just ob existent, succumbhes ia ed bihe un criminal ?” “Ne hoyd kwehrsiemos to khatem”, Max sutskwit. “Sigwra ne dehlcs gvehne ni yehbhmaurdhe kweils, no. Bet neti es quer ghehdt ses kwit quoter men est « permitten » ed quoter nu est « banen ». Has bad spruft oiter schtuk ios vertat. Alter vaht gwehme, antreus to ! Mathalan has nun in te, pon edvas oin yar, un pulsion quod est meis akster quem ceters, ed id ghehldt ka “bant”. I Hellens ed maung alyi folks hant punor buwen tod pulsion un divtat ed dyinen unte megil
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fests. “Bant” est also neid abadic, tod ghehdt change. Hoydschi poitt quiskwe swehpe con un gwen yant is hat est con iam bei pastor ed wohdt iam. Bi alya folks to est als, darschi hoyd. Itak dehlct ielg ex nos trehve pro seswo quoter est permitten ed quoter est banen – banen al. Anghen maght naiwo kwehre semject bant yed ses un mier caltak. Eti inverten-ye. – Estghi un question os yowitat ! Quel est pior yow mae elswo mehna ed sia sien wi judce, tel suadehbhent ia bans, kam ia sont. Al est to comfortable. Alyi swo spreuve commandements in se, im sont jects banen, qua cada prabh mensc kwehrt cadadien, ed im sont alya jects permiss, qua sonst sont baygh-ye dusayt. Ielg dehlct stahe pro seswo. » Is kwohk stayg pischmane saygus tant, ed abrup. Ja ye tod tid ghohd io ghabe unte un certaino meid id khisses quod is tun spruv. Tem amat-ye ed prikwehkant-ye nam-ye pliohg is expones sien idees, tem lika khiek is yed tehle un conversation tik “pro tolk wastah” kamkwe. Bi me khissit is lakin, nieb id druv interesse, pior leik, pior joyo dia id clever gatolkos, au semject it, bragv-ye, uno mank os perfect serietat. Menxu releiso id senst werd quod ho script – “perfect serietat” - , mi enfallt stayg iter alyo scene, id poignantst, quod ho gwiven con Max Demian in cia dar pwolmagvisk tids. Nies Confirmation gwohm prosch, ed ia sensta darsa ios spiritualios talim liteer de id Sensto Dorkwo. Importit ei pastor se strehnge ad suakhissihes sem consecration stumia unte ta hors. Just in ta oik darsa eent mien brens bohnden oini alyi, eighi person os mien prient. Menxu io vis gwehme id Confirmation, quod nos eet explien ka id bayramic acceptation do id communitat ios Kyrk, mi buit dwight nevergible-ye id bren od pro me id wirtum tos circa oin pwolyar long religionstalim ne wohs in quo hiebam uct her, sontern in id prokwitat ed id influence Demians. Ne in id Kyrk eem io taiper parat ad ses admitten, sontern in semject alnos different, in un Orden ios menos ed ios personalitat, quod dohlg semkam existe ep Ardh ed quos representer ed messager io khiss mien prient. Io retrowieurcskwim tod bren, io iey serieus gwive, nespekent quant, id fest ios Confirmationios med un certain decos, ed tod kwohk lyt dehbhe mien nov menos. Lakin io kiem kwehre quodlibt, id menos eet ter, ed pro me id bohnd-se tadrijan ei prosch kyrksfest, eem parat ad celebre id als quem alters, id sollit mayne pro me id admission do uno menosmund, kam io hieb vignoht id bi Demian. In cia diens buit od iter oins disputim con iom; buit just pre un dars. Mien prient eet oisgwehmav ed hieb neid joy de mien tolk, qua ya eent destull precoce ed pompeus.

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“Pior tolkmos”, iey is samt rhayr adic serietat. “Clever tolk hat neid wirt, khich. Tik per se gwehmt anghen ex se. Synt gwehmt ex se per se. Anghen dehlct ghehde se forrempes do se alnos kam un ghelon. » Just poskwo entram id scolkyal. Id dars inkiep, io me strohng ad ses attentive, ed Demian ne me distrieg tetos. Pos un khvil io bispruv ex id gon quer is sess nieb me semject particular, un kenos au khultia au semject lik, it, kamsei id place hiebit bihn tuich arasih. Kun id khisses biwaurs, io vols. Ter vis io mien prient sedde, rect ed in dohbro darmen kam semper. Lakin kwohk is alnos als quem semper, ed semject lud ex iom, semject periembh iom, quod ne gnohsim. Credihsim is hieb cluso sien okwi, bet vis od is dier ghyanen ia. Bet ia ne spohc, ne eent vidend, eent fix ed trohpt entro au kyuno mier distance. Alnos auntaragh sess is ter, ne hatta kwohk is annmes, eyso stohm eet kam gluben ex dreu au petra. Eys lige eet pall, uniform-ye bleid, kam petra, ed ia brun kaysdrighs eent id gwivst ep iom. Eys hands lyohg ant iom ep id benk, aungwit ed still kam objects, kam petras au fruits, pall ed aunmov, yed ne slemb, sontern kam darm, gohd keramide ambh un kulct nert gwit. Id spect me kreusih. Hat mohrn ! mohn io, quasi sieygim to jahar. Bet io wois is ne hieb mohrn. Mien interdeht spect hieng ud eys lige, ud tod pall petra mask, ed io khiss : to eet Demian ! Kam is eet sonst, quan is gwahsit ed bahsit con me, to eet tik un pwol Demian, oin, qui ieg zanchey-ye un rol, se adaptit, kwohr ob politesse con. Is druv Demian kwohk lakin kam so, tem rocken, orveut, animallik, petra-lik, bell ed srig, mohrn ed rahas-ye pleno med ajib gwit. Ed perambh iom tod still kenos, tod ether ed starenrewos, tod mono mohrt ! Nun hat is alnos lit eni se, khiss io samt tremblens. Naiwo hieb io esto tem isolet. Ne eem deil os iom, is mi eet nenakim, is mi eet distanter quem sei is habiet esen ep id piernst insule ios mund. Io payn ghieb od nimen exter me vis to ! Quanti dohlg vide, quanti dohlg tremble ! Bet nimen ei dahsit attention. Is sess kwiter-lik ed, kam io dohlg mehne, idollika rigid, unis musch sess ep eyso chol, curs lent-ye unte nas ed lipps – is krampih neid trait. Quer, quer eet is taiper ? Quod mohn is, quod khissit is ? Eet is in un warwn, in un hayd ? Ne mi buit possible sprehge iom de. Kun io vis iom, ye id end ios dars, iter gwive ed annmes, kun mien spect incontrit eyso, eet is kam prever. Quetos gwohm is ? Quer hieb is est ? Is kwohk strak. Eys lige hieb iter color, eys hands removeer-se, id brun kays yed eet taiper aundiutis ed kam bekmeht.
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Unte ia sehkwnda diens me addixim plurs in mien kamer uni nov exercice : sessim stip ep un stul, fixih mien okwi, me dier alnos aunmov ed skohpt kamdiu kanriniem ed quo kheissiem tosmed. Yed bihsim just-ye strak ed diek un akster paym in mien oklids. Mox poskwo buit id Confirmation, de quod mi nia importanta mehmens hant etilikwt. Quanto taiper bihsit alyo. Miegve gadriebhit perambh me. I parents me spohc samt un certain embarasse. Ias swesters mi hiebeer bihn alnos rhayir. Un reiken do aumo mi falsihsit ed pallih ia adic khisses ed joys, id garden eet aun xiaunki, id forest ne attraxit, id mundo stahsit ambh me kam un liquidation veuten jects, fade ed aunattract, ia buks eent papier, id music eet un blosk. It fallt ambh un osyern dru id brem ud, id ne kheisst to, seuy rehnt ghom id, auter sol, au frost, ed eni tod id gwit oisgwehmt do id anghst ed innerst. Id ne mehrt. Id skehpt. Hieb esen deciden od pos ia ferias linkwiem ye id prest ker id dom pro alyo scol. Yando gwohm ia mater prosch me samt particular tenderesse, sransend-ye in avance, kaurnda de kyukes liubh, nostalgia ed rhayr-zahilia do mien kerd. Demian hieb fortrohcen. Eem saul. Beatrice Aun revidus mien prient, wohgh io ye id end iom ferias do St. Mien bo parents gwohm con ed betrus me samt cada possible kaur ei protection uns pwarnenpension bi un daskal ios gymnasium. Habient stohven sei habient woiden in qualg jects me likweer taiper wander. Id question eet dar semper kweter engwn wakto ghehdiem bihe un gohd son ed un util civ, we an mien buhsa se forwaurgiet altro. Mien senst peiten os ses noroct in id skadh os pater sbei dom ed ment hieb duret diu, hieb tid-ye quasi kamyaben, yed fin-ye alnos duysen. Id skaun kenos ed isolement quod, unte ia ferias pos mien Confirmation, io gwohm ye id prest ker do khisses (kam ghi io regnohsim serter tod kenos, tod teun hava !) ne prilit tem oku. Id asimat ex id hem kamyieb stragn-ye facil-ye, aygvim ghi ne ses meis melankholic, ias swesters plieng aunsabab, to khiek io. Io stieun de meswo. Semper hieb io esen un emotional magv, ed sul-ye un destull dohbro magv. Taiper hieb io alnos changet. Suloukim kheptenn indifferent dia id perambhend mund ed eem unte hol diens tik besic med klues eni me ed aure ia strohms, ia banen ed sombre strohms, qua rierzeer ter in mien
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inster. Io hieb crohscen baygh oku, bad ye id senter yardwidel, ed tengicim slanc, maigher ed mweyssui quantims. Id liubholghitat ios pwarn hieb alnos oiswohnden ex me, ioswo khiss od io khiek ses liubhen katha, ed io liubh meswo nel-ye. Io hieb ops baygh nostalgia dia Max Demian; bet neschi minter io haiss iom ed blamim iom de id miskinia miens gwit, quod emsim kam un keapayo siuge. In noster scolerpensionat buim in-kap neter liubhen ni respecten, buim preter henseln, dind io vers ed buim viden ka couard ed desamat excentric. Tod rol me plaisit, hatta exagerim id, ed me berliezim do un khalwa quod extro eekwikwehct kam nerst mundhonn, menxu rahas-ye io succubh ops adfalls om melankholia ed dwoi. Scoli hieb io ad consumme ia kowpen gnohsas ex hemi, idghi classe eet lyt udnivellt ab mien prever, ed io biswohd aye lyt honn-ye mien samats ka magvens. Oino yar ed diuter dohn katha, iaschi prest feriavisites hemi brigh nia nov clanghs; io gairn iter abwohgh. Buit in-kap november. Io hieb viswohdt ye cada weter kwehre lytil, pensive spassereghangs, unte qua io brug ops un sorte os wohn, un wohn pleno med melankholia, mundhonn ed dwohonn. It ravien io ye oin vesper in id madh, nebuleus regwos per id urb peripheria, id weur allee uns public park wohs alnos ablikwt ed me invitit, id wegh lyohg teug pleno med fallt waraks, qua io kielc samt sombre schakhwa, odit madh ed bitter, ia pierna drus prohp kabusmier ed skadhwent ex id mighel. Ye id end ios allee vistahsim bfugwaukan, stier do id kyehrsen brem ed ann lasye id smeu profume om gveihsa ed smohrkos, quod semject in me apokwihsit ed salutit. O kam fade smohg id gwit ! Ex uno niebwegh arrivit semquis in leikend colniermantel, vahsim naghange kun is me kiel. « Sellamat, Sinclair ! » Is gwohm prosch, eet Alfons Beck, is atst os nies pension. Io vis iom semper gairn ed hieb neid contra iom, ploisko od is eet con me kam con vasyens yuners semper ironic ed oncle-lik. Is eet ayt urxnert, is mayster nosters pension eet supposto ses sub eys waldh ed is eet is heroy maungen gymnasiastenrumors. “Quod tar kwehrs tu her ?” kiel is affable-ye med id ton quod ies aters hieb quan ies waurmen-ye condescens wehkwe nos. “Na, vahms gvaedde, tu tyeics poems ?”
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“Ne mi enfallt”, jawieb io brusk-ye. Is iliey, gwahsit nieb me ed tolkit kam quo io neti swohd. “Mae bay, Sinclair, kad ne fahamo. Quanghi anghen gwaht it vespers in id nebule, it samt osyernbrens, anghen tyeict tun gairn poems, to suawoidim. De id mehrend nature, naturelika, ed de id lusen yuwent, quod kwehc’ kam id. Vid Heinrich Heine.” “Ne som tem sentimental”, alexim. “Tamam ! Bet ye tod weter mi kwehct od suakwehrt el mensc qui paursct un still stet, quer est un glas vin au lik ject. Hamrahskws tu me lyt ? Som just alnos mon. – We ne maghs ? Tien tentator ne volo ses, dorgv, falls tehrbies ses un model magv. » Mox poskwo sess wey in uno smulk suburbknayp, drohnk un dubieus vin ed kleuytih nies gwaur bocks. To me plaisit preter pau, lakin eet semject nov. Mox yed bihsim, ob io ne swohd vin, baygh tolkav. Eet kamsei un fenster hieb esto slaht ghyanen in me, id mund blig intro – kamdiu, terrible-ye kamdiu neti hieb io tolcto leudher-ye ! Io gwohm do khayale, ed medsu to suadahsim io meist-ye id storia de Cain ed Abel ! Beck me klu samt plaisure – bad semquis quei dahsim semject ! Is tip mien oms, me niem un diabolic karl ed mien kerd ois ub ob wohn om sines dostrehme talapt naudhs om tolk ed smyehros, ses recogniht ed ghehlde semject bi un ater. Kun is me niem un genialo lesch, drahsit id werd kam un swadh, akster vin do mien atmen. Id mund ieydh in nov colors, brens fluss do me ex cent serbese surces, ansu ed piurn scheneer in me. Tolkam de daskals ed rafiks, ed mi kwohk od wey comprehens puyku-ye mutu. Tolkam dei Hellens ed de id paganisme, ed Beck brighskwit me ad confette liubhaventures. Ter khiek io taiper tolctum com. Io hieb gwiven neid, neid lehctu. Ed quo io hieb khist, construct, imaginet, to albatta wohs aydhend in me, betschi per id vino ne hiebit bihn sluno ni communicable. De bents gnohsit Beck maung meis, ed io klu ta storias ferventye. Io math ter incredible, naiw ayt possible entrit plat realitat, kwohk evident. Alfons Beck hieb ja sammelt med siena maghses octdem yars experiences. Inter alya tod od bents iskweer neid alyo quem adab ed galanteries eet ya baygh jamile, yed ne id ver. Ter eet meis success bi gwens ad spehe. Gwens eent baygh meis clever. Mathalan Potnia Jaggelt, qua hieb id butique om caderns ed molives, con iam se sisit ses tolken, ed quo hol hieb ja wakyet apter ays contor lit do neid buk.

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Io sess profund-ye enchanten ed abstaunihn. Zowngschie, ne habiem druve-ye ghohdt liubhes Potnia Jaggelt – lakin, to eet ajib. Ter kwohk srues surces, minstye pro iens aters, de qua io hieb naiwo drohmen. Albatt eet ter un falso clangh, ed id smohgit ghemer ed cadadiener quem quo ye mieno mayno liubh tohrb smehge, - lakin to eet realitat, to eet gwit ed aventure, so sess nieb me qui hieb gwiwt to, quei to kwohk evident. Nies conversations hieb liten ghom lyt, hieb lusen semject. Neti yaschi eem is genial, lytil karl, taiper eem just un pwarn, qui klusit un wir. Bet dar katha – binisbat quo mien gwit hieb esen pon munts ed munts, to eet delicieus, to eet paradaysic. Eti to eet, kam io bad bikhiss tadrijan, bant, meg bant, tem sedde in knayps quem quo bahsam. Zowngschie gusim spirit, gusim revolution in to. Kweitst-ye mehmo cid noct. Kun wey bo gwirliey, sert-ye pri trub-ye bleigend gasfanars, in id khuld madh noct, buim io ye id prest ker makhmour. To ne eet bell, to eet extreme-ye muschkil, yedschi to hieb eti semject, un charme, un swiedhe, eet ubstand ed orgia, eet gwit ed spirit. Beck se maimourih brave-ye med me, quayque is me hieb bitter-ye grinten ka bolvano mubtadi, ed is me brigh dom, pwolbohrt, quer is kamyieb smughles me ed se in per un ghyanen grundetage fenster. Samt aumreiken yed, in quod io gohr gvol-ye pos un baygh-ye cort mohrtlik swehpen, me lambh un bawlaw bfuyowia. Io sess ub in id crovat, dar vohs mien diencamiss, mien vesters ed schous ambhlyohgeer ghomi ed odeer tabak ed vomit, ed inter khaketha, nausea ed razdend teurst gwohm un kwiter ant mien atmen, quod io hieb neti diutos enokwen. Io vis vatan ed dom im parents, dadmam, swesters ed garden, io vis mien still, hemliko kamer, vis id scol ed id rineg, vis Demian ed ia confirmationsdarsa – ed to hol eet gwayder, hol eet argmadht, hol eet daumost, divin ed pur, ed hol, to hol – it woisim taiper – me hiebit bayghen dar ghes, dar hors pre, hieb skohpten me ed eet taiper – just-ye taiper ye tod saat, forsohnken ed forbalstohmen, neti me bieygh, me rejexit, me visit samt ieghel ! Quanto kyar ed intim io hieb aiwo gwiven tiel ia piernst goldenst miegvegardens ud mien parents, cada kuss ias mater, cada natal, cada zakir, gwayder mingo aghyern hemi, cada flor in id garden – quantum eet forwazs, quanto hieb io valct ! Sei taiper palach mulasims habient gwohmt, me habient bohndt ed ducto do gahango ka disxubh ed temple najisser, habiem samstohmt, habiem gairn ghanct, habiem id pohndt ieust ed dohbro. Also kwohk io inner-ye ! Ego, qui ambhgieng ed honnim id mund ! Ego, qui eem ansumynder ed smyohr Demians brens ! It kwohk io, un disxubh ed un swineghi, makhmour ed sreupgloit, aghel ed gamayd, un depraven biest udstraj dia sien pulsions ! It kwohk io, ego, qui gwohm ex cid garden quer quant eet purtat, arg ed graciu tenderesse, ego qui hieb liubhen Bachs music ed bell poems
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! Io dar ieur samt ieghel ed indignationo mien wi gleimen, uno makhmour, aunwaldh, saccadat-ye ed belog-ye udbrehgend gleimen. To eem io ! Nespekent quant eet yed un plaisure kwehnde ta aziyats. Io hieb tem diu blind ed stup ambhrepen, mien kerd hieb tem diu tayct ed ormihno niebsess, quemschi tod swo-accusation, tod atrocitat, tod hol abominable khisses ios atmen eet sellgwohmen. Eet yed khisses, stigheer yed flammes, yed palpitit kerd eni ! Confus khiss io medsu id misere semjecto kam leuren ed pirmwer. Samt to mi lit quantum alnos bundtro. Id prest medvia buit mox neti id prest. In noster scol eent knayps baygh-ye gwaht ed balagan act, eem oino iom quantenyunsten bayna tens quoy smyohr ed mox neti buim un tolereit ed lytil sontern uno nihtor ed star, uno maschour, bogaturic knaypenvisitor. Io bieygh oins-ye meis id sombre mund, iom diabel, ed io ghohld in tod mund ka un fameus karl. Io hieb ex to un lamentable pondos. Gwivim in un swodestructive orgiasme, ed menxu io ghohld bi iens dustens ka un duc ed un diabelskarl, ka un balstohmenye ayasch ed akstraum oglan, io hieb un dekhschatplen atmen quod dwiej in me. Dar woidim, od oins ia dakrus gwohm do mien okwi kun linkwnd-ye uno knayp ye uno mingo aghyern io vis magvens likes in id strad, clar ed satisfact samt freschpohken kays ed in mingo vesters. Ed menxu io, inter birbaltcas claus murdar mejas malen makahs, zalissim med ajib cynismes ed ops dekhschiet mien prients, hieb in mien perbohrcto kerd yazgos dia quanto forhonnim, ed lyohg inner-ye plangend ep mien genus ant mien atmen, ant mien prev, ant mienu mater, ant Div. Od naiwo bihsim oin con mien hamrahtors, od io remien mon bayna iens ed katha ghohd kwehnde, hieb un gohd sabab. Eem uno knaypenheroy ed goiler sekwent id kerd iom rauksten, bevisim spirit ed courage in mien brens ed tolks de daskals, scol, parents, kyrk – yaschi kanrinim obscenitats ed durs hatta ioswo oin – bet eem naiwo present quando mien rafiks gwahr bi piegs, eem mon ed pleno med ardent nostalgia dia liubh, desperat nostalgia, menxu sekwent mien logsa habiem dohlct ses un effrenat brunger. Nimen eet vulnerabler, nimen schamwenter quem ego. Ed quan io vis gwahe pri me ians yun burgese bents, jamile ed kiest, gwayder ed graciu, ias eent pro me daumost, pur sogna, mils pior dohbras ed puras pro me. Unte un khvil io neschi ghohd eti entre id stationaria as Potnia Jaggelt, ob io erudh quan io spohc iam ed mohn de quo Alfons Beck mi hieb narret dayir iam. Ye moner ed alyos io me taiper wois in mien nov hamrahsa, ye minter ghohd io ex id. Druve-ye neti woidim an litu ed schekhi mi ver-ye aiwo dahr plaisure, nischi biswohdim drehnke ye id weidos os ne ielgs oispruves muschkil
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consequences. To hol eet kam un dwinegh. Io kwohr quo io dohlg, ob sonst mutlak io ne wois quetos inkape. Io biey long khalwa, bieyim ia multa tender, schamic, intim bfugwaukanias quibs eekhikheisso inclinen, bieyim ia tender liubhsbrens, qua mi tem ops gwohm. Oino meist-ye ieusim – un prient. Eent dwo au tri conscolers, quens io vis baygh-ye gairn. Bet ies bieygh iens sells, ed mien zalals neti eent diutos un secret pro anghen. Ies vergihr me. Io ghohld bi quantens ka un desperat leiker sub quos peds id swol vienk. Ies daskals wois maung de me, buim plur kers strehng puniht, mien final expulsion ex id scol eet semject exspecten. Ioswo wois to, jaschi eem diutos neti un gohd scoler sontern io me sohlk ed mi udfarebicim muschkil-ye samt id khisses od to neti ghohdit dure diu. Sont maung weghs ep qua Div ghehdt nos monihes ed duce ad nosswo. Unte tod wegho ghieng is prevst con me. Buit kam un khabis drehm. Unte sreup ed sleibos, unte disbrohct birglasa ed cynic-ye peribalbeln nocts me vido, uno miryowto drehmer, aunrahat ed aziyaten rempes, un biaur ed nekiest wegh. Sont solg drehms, in qua unte id wegho kyam princesse naglehmerms in koprebaltcas in aptergatvas plena med thamf ed zibel. It de me. Ye tod pau fayn weidos mi eet script, bihe mon ed bringhes inter me ed id miegve un andamen Edendwor con aunmercie argu paleks. To buit un inkapem, un sbeuden ios nostalgia dia meswo. Buim dar dekhschat ed trohs kun ye id prest ker, alarmen med brevs miens pensionsbes, mien pater prohp in St. ed me confrontit inexspectet-ye. Kun is, circum endo cios winter, ye id dwot ker gwohm, buim ja kaurd ed indifferent, sis iom grinte, sis iom iltije, sis iom mehmihes iam mater. Is buit fin-ye bayghye grasban ed sieyg, sei ne changiem, is me chasseihiet samt aygvos ed deshonor ex id scol ed me interniet do un kyasdom. Kem is miegh ! Kun is tun fortrohc, buim maaf dia iom, men is hieb naken neid, is ne hieb scolasst contra me, ed unte instants khiss io is oistahiel tod jinkdousa. Quo bihsim ne me betak. Med mien special ed ne baygh jamile weidos, med mien knayplitus ed mien bravados eem io in conflicto contra id mund, to eet mieno manier os proteste. Tosmed io me gughir, ed yando mi kwohk jects edvas it : sei men id mundo ne miegh tehrbe leuds kam me, sei id ne hiebit pro i neid gohder place, nia hoger taska, gughohr de i leuds kam ego. Id mund behrtu tod damno. Ia Natalferias ye tod yar buir meg deskhauris. Miena mater buit dekhschaten kun ia me revis. Io hieb dar meis crohsct, ed mieno maigher lige kwohkit greis ed wazden, samt slehmbervs traits ed iritations ambh ia okwi. Id presto skadh os moustache ed id bril, quod io vohs nuptos, me dar ay tarnienihr. Ias swesters
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abvic ed smientel. To hol buit deskhauris. Deskhauris ed bitter id conversation con iom pater in eys bureau, deskhauris id salut im oikims kerabs, deskhauris hassa id Natalepoin. Tod hieb est, pon gwivim, in nies dom id megil dien, id epoin om bayram ed liubh, os schakiria, id udnoven ios boidos inter i parents ed me. Ye tod ker buit to hol tik waurgant ed embarassant. Kam semper lis mien pater id euanghelio de iens chobans in ia polds, “quoy upernox ed pahr ir churds”, kam semper stahr ias swesters sakib ant ir hadiatable, bet id voc ios pater swohnit nenoroc, ed eys lige kwohk veut ed craspic, ed ia mater eet yui, ed mi eet to hol egal-ye kados ed nevanscht, hadias ed norocvanscha, euanghelium ed Nataldru. Ia perniks hieb swadh gust ed exstrohm aglus om swadher mehmens. Id eghel bals ed lohg de jects qua neti existeer. Io kwohster po id end ios epoin ed iom festdiens. Id hol winter nalit ithan. Io hieb esen just warnen ab id daskalenconcil ed tohrgen med exclusion. To ne durit diu it, ya, ob me. Io gagnwien Max Demian. Io neti hieb viden tom unte id hol prist. Io hieb ei, inkap os mien scolertid in St., scripto dwis, bet dact neid antwehrd; itak io hieb iomschi ne faungmoent unte ia ferias. In id sam park, quer io hieb incontret Alfons Beck in osyern, wakyit in-kap ios pirmwer, just kun keubs bischadieb, od un pieg me ubfiell. Hiebim spasseren mon, pleno med vil brens ed sweurghs, mienghi sieune hieb dusbihn, eti eem io dayim in mukhtieje, dulg summs dustims, dohlg invente naudhmasrafs kay obtene iter semjecto domtos, ed hieb sisen crehsce in plur dukans rechwngs ob cigares ed samliks. Ne od ta sweurghs hieb liten baygh profund – sei aiwo kariban-ye mien presence her emiet fin ed me sehnkiem do wed we esiem brighen do id correctionsdom, tun ta bagatelles naiweti importient. Lakin eegwigwivo face solg nebell jects ed eekwikwehndo ta. Ye cid werdien in id park incontrim un damika, qua me meg attraxit. Ia eet buland ed slanc, elegant-ye dun ed hieb un lige os intelligent pwarn. Ia me plaisit fauran, ia bieygh id gwenentype io liubh ed ia inkiep occupe mien fantasias. Ia ghi eet payn baygh ater quem ego, bet meg maturer, elegant ed suambhrissen, ja quasi alnos potnia, bet samt un touche om exuberance ed pwierne in sien lige quod io kiem uper hol. Io hieb naiwo ghohdt prosch un pieg de quam eem enliubht, ed neschi ghohd prosch tam. Bet id pondos buit profunder quem vasya prevers, ed in influence tos enlieubhen dia mien gwit buit gvaltic. Stayg hieb io iter un kwiter stahe ant me, un hog ed yazcto kwiter – ah, ed neid naudh, neid waurg buit tem profund ed vehement in me quem id vansch po
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yazgos ed dyin ! Ay dahsim id nam Beatrice, preghi iam gnohsim, aun leisus Dante, un englisch pineg quos kip io mi hieb gwupen. Ter id eet un englisch preraphaelite piegfigure, baygh longmems ed slanc samt smulk, longo cap ed etheric hands ed traits. Mien bell, yun pieg ne samkwohk alnos kam ia, quayque iaschi dik tod slience ed pwierne iom formes qua io liubh, ed semjecto de id etheritat au animation ios lige. Ne ho bahn oin werd ad Beatrice. Yed hat ia prevst buct ep me id profundst pondos. Ia mi prodohm sien kwiter, ia mi ghyien un schangdien, ia kwohr ex me un gvehder in un temple. Ex oino dien do alter mien io apo ia knayplitus ed nocterrances. Ghohdyim ses mon, loisyim gairn, kwohryim gairn spasseres. Id staygo conversiono mi attraxit destull goilen. Bet io hieb taiper semject lieubhtu ed dyeintu, io hieb iter un ideal, id gwit eet iter pleno med prekhisses ed poik med rounawent regwos – to kwohr me rhayr-kheissas. Eem iter bi meswo hemi, quayque tik-ye ka sclav ed dyindar uns yazctios kwiter. Khako mehne de cid tid aun un certain emotion. Iter pit io, samt intimst effort, mi struge un « gwayder mund » ex ia ruines uns collaben gwitsprist, iter gwivim io in id saul desire om abolihes id sombre ed id khiter in me ed gwayder-ye nagenue ant Divs. Zowngschie eet tod present « gwayder mund » in un certaino meido mien wi creation ; id ne eet un repleuk ni un subrempen kye mater ed aunmassoulia salvtat, id eet un nov dyinst invent ed naudht ab me, samt massoulia ed swodiscipline. Id sexualitat, quod io kwohnd ed eefifeugo, sollit taiper in tod saker ogwn se transfigure do spirit ed devotion. Neti poissit ses semject sombre, ni biaur, ni forcrischen nocts, ni kerdbats ant incest kwiters, ni kleuster apter banen dwers, ni yaumdienge. Instet to hol io dohm mien altar con Beatrices kwiter, ed me consecrend-ye ay, me consecrim ei spirit ed im divs. Id gwitsdeil, quod io strieg ud ia tenimaghs, adbohr io ibs gwayders. Ne plaisure eet mien ziel, sontern purtat, ne noroc, sontern beauteit ed spiritualitat. Tod Beatrice culto changit alnos mien gwit. Ghes dar un precoce cynic, eem taiper un temple dyindar con id ziel os bihe un saint. Abdehsim ne tik id khiter gwit ud me quod io hieb viswohden, pitim change quant, bringhes purtat, noblesse ed decos do quant, mohn de to in edde ed pohe, bahe ed vehse. Io eecommence id aghyern med srig lavens, qua io mi kaurd-ye in-kap dohlg dwinghes. Ee-sulouko serieus-ye ed decos-ye, ee-teino me rect ed eedehm meis lentor ed decos do mien gwayt. Pro spehcers hat to sollen kwehctum comic – eni me eet to lawter dyinst. Ex vasya nov exercices qua pieurskim ka wekwos mienios nov attitude, oino mi bihsit important. Io bipig. Inkiep ob id englisch Beatrice kwiter quod ieygwim ne eet kafi samlik ciay bent. Pitskwim iam pinges pro me. Samt alnos nov joy ed
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speh brigh io do mien kamer – io hieb nuptos mien wi – bell papier, chats ed pingels com, preparim palette, glas, gikipialas, molives. Ia fayn temperachats in smulk tubes, qua io hieb kaupen, me nravihr. Eet un piurnic chrome oxide glend bayna ia, quod io dar mohn vide kam id ierg ye id prest ker in id smulk albho piala. Io inkiep tadbir-ye. Pinges un lige eet difficil, iskwim ghi probe med alyum. Io pig ornaments, flors ed smulk exmohnt landspects; un dru nieb un capelle, un roman brigvo con cypressa. Maungs io me forlik, eem norocto kam un magvo con un chatscattule. Fin-ye io yed bipig Beatrice. Oik schids alnos duys ed buir arken. Ye meis io pit fiker id lige ias bent, quam incontrim tid-ye in id strad, ye minter tyicskwim. Fin-ye io tyohgv ed bipig merye un lige sekwent id fantasia ed ia neihsas qua vityohc per se ex chat ed pingel. Eet un sohgnen lige quod gwohm tetos, ed buim destull satisfacen de. Yed io nakwohr mien peitens, ed ielg nov schid wohkwit semject meis kweiter, gwohm proscher mien gwenentype, esdi nel-ye id realitat. Eeswehswehdo risses lignes med khayalpingels ed plehe surfaces aun model qua tyohc ex leikfortastens, ex id inconscient. Fin-ye terminim io sem dien, quasi newissab me, un lige, quod wohkwit me akster-ye quem ia prevers. Id ne eet id lige cias pieg, id sollit naiweti ses tod. Eet semject alyum, irreal, yed ne minter kamatih. Id kwohk meis kam un pwarncap quem kam un kweilsligen, id kays ne eet clarblond kam tod as mien jamile kweil, sontern brun con ruoss inikas, id mant eet nert ed darm, id stohm yed rudhlipp, id hol destull stip ed masklik, bet pondost ed pleno med secret gwit. Kun io sess ant id khatem schid, id mi kwohr un stragn pondos. Id mi kwohk ses un sorte os icon au iser mask, pwol ner, pwol ster, aun oumer, tem samt yunkci quem samt khayal, tem stricto quem rahas-ye gwiv. Tod lige hieb semject ad sayge mi, id me bieygh, id demandit jects ud me. Ed id hieb un samkwehkia con quelgvonc, io ne wois con quel. Id pineg hamrahsit taiper unt un khvil mien quant brens ed smyohr mien gwit. Id gwupim perbohrgen in un liachic, nimen sollit kape id ed me nayde iosmed. Bet yant eem saul in mien lytil kamer, salgihsim id kwiter ed communicim con id. Vespers dieh io id med uno nadh face me uper id crovat ei behang, vis io id hin io nierc, ed aghyerns-ye mien presto specto trohv id. Chiowdeo ye cid tid maung drohmyim kam io hieb dayim kwohrt magv. Mi kwohk io neti hieb haben drehms unte yars. Taiper-ye regwohm ia, un alnos nov sorte kwitern, ed ops eeprehpt id pigen kip, gwivend ed tolkend, suamenos au

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dusmenos dia me, maungs-ye krampend do frad ed maungs aunfin-ye bell, harmonieus ed noble. Ed sem aghyern, kun io gohr ex talg drehms, rekohgnim id stayg. Id mi kwohk tem fabuleus-ye suagnoht, id kwohkit kale mieno nam. Id kwohk gnohe me, kam una mater, kwohk abadtos trohpen kye me. Samt kerbats io stier ad id schid, id brun densu kays, id pwolster stohm, id nerto chol samt id stragn arg (id hieb turst it per se), ed semper proscher me khiss io id rekehgnen, id retrehven, id weida. Io skans ex id crovat, stahe ub ant id lige ed spohc id prokwemst-ye, do ia megye ghyant, subglend, starnd okwi, ex qua id dexter wohs edvas hoger quem alter. Ed oins trohs tod dexter ok, trohs legv-ye ed fayn-ye, bet kweiter-ye, ed samt tod trehs rekohgnim io id pineg... Kam bad hieb io tem sert ghohden trehve to ! Eet Demians lige. Serter comparim id pineg baygh ops con Demians vera traits kam io mohm ia. Nel-ye eent ia sams, quayque samlik. Bet eet lakin Demian. Sems ye un auslientvesper blig id sol skeir ed rudh per mien fenster, quod uperspohc west. Regwit in id kamer. Tun enfiell mi diehnes id pineg Beatrices, au Demians, med id nadh ei cosin ed spehce kam aktwns regweer per id. Id lige flieusit aun ambhriss, bet ia subrudh-ye ambhlizden okwi, id kweitert ep id chol ed id akster-ye rudho stohm regweer deub ed wild ex id surface. Diu sess io face id, hatta kun id buit ja sgwest. Ed tadrijan-ye mi gwohm un khisses, sekwent quod tod ne eet Beatrice ni Demian, sontern – ioswo. Id pineg ne kwohkit kam ego – tod sollit neschi ses it, khiss io – bet tod eet quo importit mieni gwit, tod eet mien inner, mieno meinyun au mien demon, sei aiwo dakiem oin. It kwehkiet mien prient, sei aiwo retrehviem oin. It kwehkiet miena makhboub, sei aiwo dalkiem oin. It esiet mien gwit ed mieno mohrt, to eet id clangh ed id rythme os mieno meinyun. Unte cia hevs inkiep io un leisen quod mi tyic profunder pondos quem quantum io hieb prever list. Hatta serter ho io rar-ye eti anagnoht it buks, maghses tik bad Nietzsche. Eet un jasamat os Novalis, con brevs ed sentences, ex qua io ne fahiem maungs ed qua yed quanta me ne-sayget-ye attrieg ed ambghohrd. Oino iom mathals mi taiper enfiell. Id scripsim med id penn sub id portrait : « Meinyun ed menos sont nams os oin concept. » To hieb io taiper fahamen. Iam bent quam io niem Beatrice incontrim dar ops. Io khiss tun emotion, bet dayim uno mliak hormonia, un khisseswent aumen : es mi yugen, bet ne tu, tik tien kwiter ; es un schtuk mienios meinyun.
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Mien nostalgia dia Max Demian rebihsit staur. Io wois neid de iom, pon yars neid. Oins-ye hieb io ghaten iom unte ia ferias. Vido nun od ho slaht tod cort incontern ender mien lehgens, ed vido od to wakyit ob scham ed vanitat. Dehlgo rectifie to. Also oins unte ia ferias, menxu io ravien per id urb miens pater samt mien blasen ed dayim destull strak lige os litutid, swohng mien spasseregazd ed vis ia veut, nechanget honnt liges im burgesen, tun gwohm kye me mien prevstic prient. Hiebim payn vis iom kun io trohs. Ed blixoku dohlg io mehne de Franz Kromer. Demian ke hieb druve-ye myohrsen tod storia ! Eet tem desamat skules dia iom, prabh-ye un cacavano magvenstoria, yedghi io skul... Is kwohkit skehpte an iskwim salute iom, ed kun io kwohr to possiblest sereneye, mi rexit sien hand. Eet iter eys handpressem ! Tem darm, warm yed khuld, ner ! Is oispohc attentive-ye mien lige ed sieyg : “Has crohscen, Sinclair.” Isswo mi kwohk alnos nechangen, tem veut ed tem yun quem semper. Is me joint, spasseram com ed tik tolkam de secundar jects, neid de prevst. Mi enfiell od io hieb ei xiawngja plurs oiscript, aun primes antwehrd. Ah, iawod is hieb myohrsen taschi cacavan stupid brevs ! Is sieygit neid de ! Eent tun ne bad Beatrice ni portrait, eem dar medsu mien fawngtawng tid. Ant id urb iom invitit gwehme con me do un creschma. Is ghiengit con. Parler-ye hangjowim un botel vin, vohrs id, swehnih nies glasa ed me dik baygh familiar de ia studyential drehnkswods, tuichim yaschi id prest glas unte oin slung. “Gwahs meg bars ?” sprohg is me. “Yaghi”, ieyim adriug-ye, “quod sons’ sollt ses kwohrn ? Fin-ye to es’ semper dar id meis’ glewost.” “Pehnds tu ? Ghehdt ses bell. Semject in to est albatta meg bell – id medvia, id dionysic ! Bet pehndo bi pleist leuds qui sedde maung in bars to hat hol gughohrn. Mi prehpt it kamsei gwahtum bars esiet semject druve-ye burgese. Ya, unte un hol noct, samt aydhend gwaks, uni druv bell medvia ed ehgven ! Bet katha semper iter, un bock pos alyo, est to lakin id ver ? Ghehds tu fiker iom Faust kam is vesper pos vesper seddt claus un meja ?” Io drohnk ed spohc iom hostile-ye.

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“Ya, sigwra ne est ielg un Faust”, ieyim bragv-ye. Is me spohc destull desconcertet. Tun glihsit is samt id veut freschia ed superioritat. “Kay tar kogchoune de ? Zowngschie est id gwit uns ehgver au fawngtawngrjien shayad ayascher quem tod al nemambhim civ. Ed tun – ho lisen to oins – est id gwit al fawngtawngrjien oin iom gohdst preparations pro el mystic. Sont ghischi semper leuds kam saint Augustinus qui bihnt xiengis. Isschi eet prever un giumbuscher ed helmbrekht. » Eem mistreusend ed nel-ye volim me sines mayster ab iom. Itak sieyg io blaset : “Ya, ielgi sien gust ! Itirafo ouvert-ye od khich-ye leit bi me de bihe un xiengi ni semjec’ kam tel.” Demian glaz me wissab se med legv-ye pwolcluden okwi. “Kyar Sinclair”, sieyg is lent-ye, “ne iskwim tib sayge semject desamat. Eti – pro qualg objective drehncs nun tien dostkan, wey bo ne woid. Quo tien gwit kwehrt in te id woid id ja. Est tem sell woide od eni nos est oin quel woid quant, volt quant, kwehrt quant gohder quem weyswo. – Bet indeulg, dehlgo dom. » Wey sriensam bragv-ye. Baygh skeud io remien seddend, peridrohnk mien botel, ed vighieb, kun gwahskwim, od Demian id hieb ja payghen. To me irritit dar meis. Mien brens hielt ep tod smulk wakya. Eent plena med Demian. Ed ia werds qua is hieb sayct in cid creschma ant id urbo prohpyeer in mieno memoria, stragn-ye fresch ed nelust. – “Est tem sell woide od eni nos est oin quel woid quant !” Io glaz ub id pineg, quod hieng protiev id fenster ed hieb alnos zaregwt. Bet io vis ia okwi naluces. Eet id spect os Demian. Au eet tel quel eet eni me. Tel quem woid quant. Kam nostalgic eem io dia Demian. Io wois neid de iom, io khiek nake iom. Io wois tik od is shayad studyit semloc ed od pos id fin os eyso gymnasiumstid eys mater hieb likwno nies urb. Tiel mien storia con Kromer retro sokim io quanta mehmens de Max Demian in me. Kam maungum iter cliengh, quo is mi hiebit prevst-ye saygen, ed quant hieb hoyd-ye dar sense, eet actual, me concernit ! Quoschi is hieb saygen unte nies tem pau giughinant ghato del fawngtawgrjien ed dei saints oistahsit stayg-ye
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kweiter ant mien atmen. Ne hieb to exact-ye it jinkdoun de me ? Ne hieb io gwiven in medvia ed sreup, in sturdition ed forleusen, hina med un nov gwitspulsion exact-ye id contrar in me se gwiwit, un demande os purtat, un nostalgia os saintitat ? It apterlit io miena mehmens, noct hieb diutos gwohmt, ed exo suy. Inschi miena mehmens ieur io suyes, eet id saat sub ia castanders, quer is mi tun hieb suwalen de Franz Kromer ed hieb gvaedden mien presta secrets. Oin pos alyo gwohm ub, conversations untitner kye scol, ia Confirmationsdarsa. Ed bad mi enfiell mi quantenprest ghat con Max Demian. De tar quod hieb liten ter ? Ne vrehsim fauran, bet mi liess wakt, eem alnos formohnt eni. Ed taiper gwohm toschi ub. Wey hieb stahn ant nies dom, pos is me hieb smyehriht sieno mayn de Cain. Ter hieb is tolcto de id veut, weterbaten wapwn quod wohs uper nies aneta, in id ubtro weurer bihnd ghebelpetra. Is hieb saygen tod interessit iom ed solgims jects dohlg attention ses daht. Unte id nocto drohm io de Demian ed de id vapwn. Id changit dayim, Demian dohrj id in sien hands, ops eet id smulk ed greis, ops staur-ye mier ed pelupoik, bet is mi explicit tod eet yed semper oin ed id sam. Bet bad is mi dwigh edde id vapwn. Kun io hieb sorpt id kieusim samt immense dekhschat od el guraghen vapwnav eet gwiv in me, me plehsit ed intos me gwenmien. Pleno med mohrtpauro sprud io ed gohr. Bihsim sbuden, eet medsu id noct, ed ieur suyes do id kamer. Stahsim ub kay clude id fenster ed trohd ob to semjecto kweiter quod lyohg ep id podloga. In id aghyern vighieb io od eet mien pigen schid. Id lyohg in id smeu ep id demped ed hieb engwut. Io tens id kay turses inter seupgpapiers in un gwaur buk. Kun io chohx id posdini, id hieb tursen. Bet id hieb changet. Id rudho stohm hieb faden ed bihn lyt smulker. Id hieb taiper kheptenn id stohm os Demian. Io gwohm taiper do pinges un nov schid, el vapwnav. Kam el ver-ye kwohk woisim io neti skweiter-ye, edghi io wois id eet neti suakweittu prokwtos ob id eet veut ed ops-ye gegrihmen med chat. El av stahsit we sess ep semject, maghses un flor, we ep un corbh au nest, we ep un drutopp. Io ne swurgh de to ed inkiep med quo kweiter-ye fikrim. Ex uno neclar naudh bipig io fauran-ye med akster chats, id cap al av eet ep mien schid kenek. Sekwent dumos napig io ed perityic to unte oika diens. Taiper eet unis meongcin samt un skarp, bolto dogan cap. El dubit pwolcorposye in un deusk mundglobe, ex quod is sohnd-se kam ex un gigantesk oiv, ant un azur aptergrund. Dat observim diuter id schid, mi eekwikwehct od tod eet id pelupoik vapwn kam id hieb ubgwohmt in mien drehm.

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Scribe un brev ad Demian ne mi habiet est possible, esdi habiem wois quetro. Yed io decis, samt id sam drehmlik aumen quosmed io tun tyicim quant, ei yises id dogan pineg, kweter id ei ghehdiet we khakiet. Scripsim neid ep id, neschi mieno nam, ambhsegim ia leizda kaur-ye, kieup un large papiervulbh ed scripsim ep id id prever adresse miens prient. Tun io abyis id. Un examen lit proscher, ed io dohlg orbate meis quem sonst pro id scol. Eem iter id grace iom daskals, pon io hieb stayg changen mien honnic sulouk. Ya ne eem taiper un gohd scoler, bet neter ego ni alyis dar mohn od mien schtrafexclusion ex id scol hieb esen mukhtmel quantims. Mien pater mi scripsit taiper iter meis in id ton quem prever, aun mambhs ni tehrgs. Lakin-ye ne iskwim explie neter ei ni alyi kam id change hieb wakyen in me. Buit un hasard, an tod change concordit con ia vanscha mienen parents ed daskals. Tod change neter me brighit kye alters ni proscher anghen, tik me kwohr moner. Id zielit altro, kye Demian, kyun pierno meinyun. Ioswo ge ne wois to, io ge stahsim medsu to. Med Beatrice hieb to inkapt, bet pon sem wakt eegwivneum con mien pict schids ed mien brens de Demian in un tem irreal mund quem io lus iam alnos ex vid ed ment. Ad nimen habiem io ghohdt sayge oin werdo de mien drehms, mien exspectations, mien inner change, esdi habiem iskwt. Bet kam habiem io ghohdt iskwes ? El av se udweight ex id oiv Mien pigen drehmav eet untitner ed pieursk mien prient. Ye id meist daumost weidos mi gwohm un antwehrd. In mien scolclasse, ep mien place, io trohv tun pos id pause inter dwo lections un genpiano snigen in mien buk. Id eet exact-ye eliht kam id swohd ses bayna nos, quando classedusti yando sis gwehme rahas-ye bilds ad mutu unte un lection. Io dieum tik quel mi yis un solg genpian, eem ghi nel-ye in un talg sibia con alyum almen. Io mohn esiet id invitation queigvonc scolerglewos, quod ne yed participiem, ed relyig id nelisto genpian in mien buk. Bad unte id lection refiell id kjiawxieng do mien hand. Io lik med id papier, diselihsit id aun mehne ed trohv oik werds oiscriben eni. Io glaz id, antgrip un werd, hieb dekhschat ed lis, menxu mien kerd compieg ant meinyun kam in miero srigos :

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“El av se udweight ex id oiv. Id oiv est id mund. Quel gnahskwt tel dehlct destruge uno mund. El av pleukt kye Div. Id nam ios Div est Abraxas. » Io me forsohnk pos leisus plurs ta lignes do profund contemplation. Neid dwoi eet possible, eet Demians antwehrd. Nimen als ego ed is ghohd woide del av. Is hieb recept mien pineg. Is hieb fahamt ed me hohlp ad skwites. Kam se tin to hol com ? Ed – bilhassa to me tariegh – quod Abraxas significit ? Io hieb naiw aurt ni list id werd. “Id nam ios Div est Abraxas !” Id dars dohn, aun io ieur jecto de id talim. Id niebst inkiep, id senst ios aghyern. Buit docen ab un yun assistanto daskal, qui sielg just id universitat ed nos plaisit ja ob is ne suloukit marhour dia nos. Wey lis Herodoto sub id ducen os Doctor Follen. Tod lecture eet part iom pauk matiers qua me interesseer. Bet ye tod ker eem io ment-absent. Io hieb ghyanto mecanic-ye mien buk, lakin-ye ne sohkw id tarjem ed mien forsohnct in mien brens. Eti hieb io ja plurs experiencet kam exact eet quo Demian hieb mi sayct prevst unte id religieus talim. Kamyieb quo eet volt kafi akster-ye. Quan eem baygh akster-ye besic med mien wi brens unte id talim, tun io ghohd ne swurghes an is daskal me likw in rahat. Ya, sei semquis eet distragen we swehpskwnd, tun is oistahsit stayg ter : toschi mi hieb ja wakyet. Bet quando semquis druve-ye mohn, eet druve-ye forsohnken, tun is eet protegen. Ed toschi hieb io ja med id darm spect probet ed verifiet. Ye id tid con Demian io hieb naiwo kamyaben, taiper io khiss ops od pelu jects ghohd ses parkwohrna med spects ed brens. Itschi sess io taiper ed eem wayt ud Herodotum ed id scol. Bet tun dvohn in me udstraj id voc ios daskal kam un blix do conscience ed itak ghor io dekhschatplen. Io ieur eyso stohm, is oistahsit claus me, io credih ja od is hieb swohrno mieno nam. Bet is ne me spohc. Io ann ub. Dind io ieur iter eys voc. Jahar id sieyg id werd : “Abraxas”. Dr. Follen continuit un explication quos inkapem hiebim prilipst : “Ne dehlgmos nos represente ia vidpoints ciom sects ed mystic associations tem nayive-ye quem ia kwohk uni rationaliste observation. Antiquitat gnohsit khich-ye un science in noster sense. Vice tod eet un besoyn med philosophic-mystic vertats, quod eet ubsell-ye antplohcen. Part-ye gnahr tetos magia ed galeikos, quod ghi opsschi ghohd duce ad venchen ed crime. Betschi magia hieb un noble origin ed profund menos. It id lohr os Abraxas, quod ho just anacen ka exempel. Tod nam est citen in sibia con hellen magic formules ed ayt frequent-ye id nam quosgvonc brukhdiabel, lyt kam wild folks hant sems dar nundiens. Bet kwehct

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od Abraxas maynt maung meis. Maghmos aye id nam tod uns divitat qui hieb id symbolic task os unie id divin ed id diabolic.” Is smulk alim wir natolkit fayn-ye ed yatun-ye, nimen eet baygh attentive, ed dat id namo neti ubgwohm, resohnkit mox mienschi attention. “Unie id divin ed id diabolic”, cliengh to in me. Hetos ghohd io nalites. To mi eet familiar per ia conversations con Demian in ia quatensensta tids os nies prientia. Demian hieb sayct prevst od weyghi habiems un Div quom yazgmos, bet so representit tik un arbitrair-ye separet dwidel ios mund (id eet id official, permitten “gwayder” mund). Anghen dohlg yed maghe yazge id hom mund, also dohlg anghen auter habe un Div quischi eet Diabel, au anghen dohlg nieb id Divdyinst yaschi institue un dyinst ios Diabel. – Ed taiper eet also Abraxas si Div, qui eet tem Div quem Diabel. Unte un tid kwohr io paurskens meg yatun-ye, aun yed lites perodh. Io sroht yaschi un hol bibliotheque aun success po iom Abraxas. Lakin mien ses hieb neti esto sakhto dia tod sorte os direct ed conscient sok, unte quod eent preter tik vertats trohven, qua mien kam un petra in id hand. Id figure ias Beatrice, quosmed eem tem besic inner-ye unte un certain tid, ee sisehnct taiper ender, we anter id prohp lent-ye apo me, eelileit proscher id horizont ed bihsit skadhwenter, pierner, paller. Id neti satisfiec id atmen. Taiper in id existence oispohnen besonters in meswo quod iegim kam un drehmchanger bignahsit un nov formation. Id nostalgia dia gwit reblohs in me, we anter id nostalgia dia liubh, ed id sexualitatspulsion, quod io hieb dissolven unte un khvil do Beatrices yazgos, kup nov kwiters ed ziels. Dar neid implehsa gwohm do me ed mi buir impossibler quem aiwo drughes id nostalgia ed exspecte semject ud ians bents bi quans mien dusti pieursk ir noroc. Drohmyim akster-ye, edghi meis unte dien quem unte noct. Dayis, images au vanscha stigh ub in me ed me extraxeer ex id uder mund, tem quem io hieb ed gwivim druver ed gwiver un samband con ta images in me, ta drehms au skadhs quem con mien real ambient. Un bestohmto drehm au fantasia leik, quod rik semper, mi bihsit significant. Tod drehm, id importantst ed diuturnst os mien gwit, eet edvas it : io gwirliey id dom os mien pater – uper id aneta luc el vapwnav ant azur aptergrund – in id dom gwohmit miena mater kye me – bet kun entrim ed gliepskwim iam, ne eet ia, sontern una naiwo vis figure, mier ed staur, samlik ei Max Demian ed mien pigen schid, yed als, ed nespekent id stieure alnos ster. Sa figure me attraxit sib ed me ghens do un deub, kreusend liubhglab. Wohn ed horror buir mixt, id glab eet dyinst ed sammel crime. Pior mehmen de mienu mater, pior mehmen de
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mien priento Demian hantit iam figure qua me glieb. Ays glab infragit cada yazgos yed eet felicitat. Ops gohr io ex tod drehm samt profundo norockhisses, ops-ye samt mohrtpaur ed aziyat conscience kam ex terrible synt. Tik tadrijan ed inconscient-ye gnahsit inter tod alnos inner image ed id mi extosgwohmto znayco kyom paursctu Div un connexion. Bet id bihsit tun angher ed meis intim, ed io bispruv od chiowdeo io bikiel iom Abraxas in tod premaundrehm. Wohn ed horror, ner ed ster mixen, iserst ed atrocest fortricen do mutu, profund skulto trehsend per tenderst innocence – it eet mien image os liubhdrehm, ed itschi eet Abraxas. Liubh eet neti ifrat sombre pulsion, kam io hieb in-kap khissen bayasen, edschi neti eet zakir-ye spiritualiset dyindaria, kam io hieb agen dia id kip ias Beatrice. Eet bo, bo ed dar meg meis, eet angel kwiter ed Satan, ner ed ster in oin, mensc ed animal, hogsto sell ed extremest khiter. Gwive to mi kwohk bestohmt, guses to mieno meinyun. Io hieb nostalgia ed paur dia to, bet to eet semper ter, eet semper uper me. Ye id niebst primwer sollim linkwes id gymnasium ed gwahe studye quer ed quod io neti wois. Ep mien lipps crohsc uno smulk moustache, hiebim biht un adult, yed alnos aun hehlp ni ziels. Tik oin eet darm in me : id drehmkwiter. Io khiss id dohlg os sehkwe blind-ye tod andhwrnt. Bet mi eet difficil ed cadadien io pamrlien. Kad eem foll, eemimehno, kad ne eem kam alter mensci ? Bet io ghohd kwehre yaschi quantum alters tyic, samt lyt application ed effort ghohd io lises Platon, solve trigonometria problemes we sehkwe un chemia analyse. Tik oino io khiek : rehve id ziel temsi perbohrgen in me ed kipes id semquer ant me, kam kwohr alters qui exact-ye wois od bihskweer professor au judce, liek au artiste, kamdiu to duriet ed qua esient ia vantages. To khiek io. Kad bihiem talg oins, bet kam woidiem. Kad dohlg io yaschi pipaurske, unte yars, ed bihsim neid, gwohm do neid ziel. Kad gwohm io do un ziel, bet id eet khiter, dangereus, terrible. Volim ya neid alyo quem pites gwive quo sielcskwit me per se. Ma buit to tem difficil ? Ops-ye pit io pinges id staur liubhfigure miens drehm. Bet io duys. Sei habiem kamyapt, habiem yist id schid ad Demian. Quer eet is ? Io ne wois. Io tik wois is eet bohnden con me. Quando revidiem iom ? Id maedwn rahato ciom hevds ed munts ios Beatricetid eent diutos prev. Prevst hieb io maynto nakus un insule ed trehvus un prient. Bet eet semper lik – payn un stando mi hiebit bihn kyar, payn-ye mi hieb un drehm daht rehm, kun id bihsit ja ulg ed blind. Dieughit ka neid nariudes id ! Taiper gwivim in un jar os nestacto keup, os tenden intizar, quod me kwohr ops wild ed foll. Id kwiter ias drehmliubht vis io ops-ye samt upergwiv kweiten ant me, meg meis kweiter
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quem mien wi hand, tolkit con id, plieng ant id, balstohm id. Io id kiel mater ed genuim ant id in dakrus, io id niem liubht ed ieum idso zrehl, quantimplehnd kuss, io id niem Diabel ed loktong, vampire ed maurdher. Id me attrieg do tenderst liubhdrehms ed do depraven impudences, neid ei eet pior gohd ed wohnic, neid pior khiter ed ghem. Unte cid hol winter io me forgwivim in un inner storm quod ghehdo difficil-ye describe. Io hieb diutos viswohdt khalwa, id ne me wieurg, gwivim con Demian, con el dogan, con id kwiter ias drehmfigure, qua eet mieno meinyun ed mien liubhen. Eet kafi gwive in yo, quantghi uperspohc megdos ed wieyte, ed quant pfohrst Abraxas. Bet neid tom drehms, neid mienen brens obedih me, khiekim kale oin, io khiek dahe oini kamlibt ids colors. Ia gwohm ed ghenseer me, eem regen ab ia, eem ab ia gwiven. Eem suaassuret extro. Io hieb neid paur dia menscens, to hieb mienschi conscolers mathen ed me respecteer rahas-ye, quo me smihihsit ops. Quando volim, ghohdim transvide pleistens ex iens baygh-ye gohd ed waurmen-ye staunihes iens. Lakin iskwim rar-ye we naiwo. Eem semper besic med me, semper med meswo. Ed io ghid bad-ye taiper gwive lyt oins, dahe semject ex me do id mund, entre sibia ed katu con id. Yando, quando vespers drahsim unte ia strads ed ob agitation tiel midnocto khiekim gwirlaye, yando io mieyn tun-kye, taiper dohlg mien liubht incontre me, ghange pri id niebst wangwl, me kale ex id niebst fenster. Yando mi kwohk to hol dusbohr-ye aziyatplen, ed eem tayar ke suicide. Io trohv un particularo refuge prevst “kjiawxieng », kam anghen sayct. Bet ne existent solg hasards. Quel naudht semquod, quod el pehndt necessar, tun ne est id hasard quod al daht id, sontern elswo, els wi keupen ed dehlgen duct el tetro. Io hieb dwis au tris unte mien ghangs per id citad aurn orghenkan ex un lyter suburban kyrk, aun nakleustervs. Kun io prigwohm ye id sehkwnd ker, io reieur id ed recognihsim od eet Bach kanen. Ghiengim kyid dwer, quod io trohv clus, ed dat id gatva eet quasi kenmensc, io sess ghom nieb id kyrk ep un rotarkel, slahsim ub mieno mantelcolnier ed kluster. Ne eet uno mier yed un gohd orghen, ed id eet daumos-ye kanen, samt un particular, hogst-ye personal expressem om vol ed dreghia, quod clienghit kam un prehgen. Io hieb id khisses : kanti yel woid tod music arehct un klei, ed el vehrbht ed jidalt ed se strehnct pro tod klei kam pro sien gwit. Ne fahamo, in id technic sense, baygh de music, bet chiowdeo magvtos ho instinctive-ye fahamt tod expressem ios atmen ed khisst swoevident in me quo gwehmt ex music. El musician kien dindschi semject moderne, tod ghohd ses ab Reger. Id kyrk eet quasi alnos deusk, tik un baygh teun luce arg penetrit per id niebst fenster. Io
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skohpt hin id music ens, ed stiup hetos cetos hin io vis iom organiste salge. Is eet dar un yuwent, yed veuter quem ego, cortjamb ed gastalt-ye endersess, ed is abgress oku med kreptic ed lika involuntar stieups. Yando tuntos ee-seddo unte vespersaats ant id kyrk we eegwigwahm hetos cetos. Oinsschi trohv io id dwer ghyant ed sess unte un pwolhor kreuselnd ed noroct in id gastul, menxu is organiste kien uber sub uno muzlim gasluce. Ex id music is kienit io ne ieur tik iomswo. Quantum is kienit mi kwohk ses familiar, habe un secret connexion. Quantum is kien eet credible, eet fidayi ed zakir, bet ne zakir kam i kyrkdyindars ed pastors, sontern zakir kam i pelgrins ed taskars in id Mediev, zakir samt respectueus bayghti in uno mundkhisses, quod wohs uper quant agamas. Ies maysters pre Bach buir diligent-ye kanen, ed veut Italians. Ed quanti sieyg id sam, quanti sieygeer quoschi is musician hieb in id atmen : nostalgia, intimst ghaben ios mund ed wildsto seclusion ud id, ardent kleuster kyid wi sombre atmen, medvia ios bayghti ed profund curiositato dia id daumost. Kun oins rahas-ye sohkwim iom organiste unte eys abgwahsa ex id kyrk, io vis iom wayt ye id uder leizd ios urb entre uno smulko creschma. Io khiek resiste ed apterghieng iom. Ye id prest ker io vis iom kweiter-ye. Is sess claus id gostmeja in un kantun ios smulkios locanda, sien sword fedora ep sien cap, un dostkan vin ant se, ed eys lige eet tem quem io hieb exspecten. Is eet biaur ed destull wild, sokar ed forbaurt, inat ed volplen, yed moll ed magvisk ambh id stohm. Id nert ed ner wohs quant in eys okwi ed chol, id niter deilo ios lige eet tender ed immatur, newaldhen ed part-ye melsk, id mant pleno med bfugwaukania wohs pwarnlika ter kam in contradiction ad chol ed spect. Dorgv mi eent ia maurbrun okwi, plena med myndert ed hostilitat. Taycend io sess ghom face iom, eet nimen sonst in id knayp. Is me kerieunit med sien spect, kamsei is volit me chasse. Lakin io dier ed spohc iom aun detour, hin is grohm irritat : “Ad tar quod starte yu tem balstohmt-ye skarp ? Quod volte yu ud me ?” “Ne volo ject ud vos”, ieyim io. « Bet ho ja haben maung ud vos. » Is brovit. « Tun, ste un music fan ? Pehndo aghel ses music fan. » Io ne me sis abdekhschate.

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« Vos ho ja ops klustern, in id kyrk ter exo », ieyim io. “Eti ne volo enwoghle vos. Io mohn, kad trehviem bi vos semject, semject special, ne woidim exact-ye quod. Bet yu maghte nel-ye ne me klues ! Ghehdo ghi vos klustres in id kyrk. » « Yed semper andamo. » « Nuper yu habte myohrst, ed io sess eni. Sonst io stahm exo we seddo ep id rotarkel.” “Yaghi ? Yu poittsiete alyens gwehme in, est warmer. Yu tik tehrpsiete stundes id dwer. Bet kreptic-ye, ed ne menxu kano. Quod nun sieycskwte yu ? Ste un baygh yun wir, shayad scoler au studyent. Ste yu musician ?” “No. Io kleuster gairn music, bet tik solg kam tod yu kante, alnos absolut music, solg bi quod est spruft od un mensc act dia Warwn ed Hayd. Music mi est baygh kyar, credeihm, ob id est tem pau moralisant. Ceter est moralisant, ed paursko semject quod ne est it. Ho semper tik kwohndt id moralisant. Khako suawehkwe. – Woid yu od sollt ses un Div qui est sammel Div ed Diabel ? Sollt esus oin, ho klut de. » Is musician xubh sien weur hat lyt retro ed scussit sien deusko kays ex sieno mier chol. It spohc is me penetrant-ye ed clih sien lige kye me uper id meja. Ye khafi voc ed tenden sprohg is : “Quod est id nam ios Div de quom yu bahte ?” “Way woidim quasi neid de iom, tikghi eys nam. Est Abraxas.” Is musician ambhspohc mistreusend-ye, kamsei semanghen ghohd luure nos. Tun rik is prokwem me ed sieyg susurnd-ye : “Ioschi hieb mohnen. Quis ste yu ?” “Som un scoler ios gymnasium.” « Quetos woid yu to de Abraxas ? » “Kjiawxieng.” Is kovit id meja, quo upertrohd eys vinglas. “Kjiawxieng ! Mae saycte sray... cacavanias, yun wir ! De Abraxas ne est woiden kjiawxieng, yu ghi gnohte. Vos saycsiem de iom dar meis. Woidim lyt de iom. »
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Is tieyc ed puscit sien stul retro. Kun io spohc iom intizar-ye, is fras. “Ne her ! Alyens. – Ghendte ta !” Tun is oisnig sien hand do id gep sienios mantel, quod is ne hieb oisdun, ed traxit tetos oik castans, is jexit kye me. Io sieyg neid, ghens ia ed ess ed buim baygh masrour. “Also !” susurit is pos un khvil. “Quetos woid yu de – iom ?” Io ne kung ei sayge to. “Eem mon ed aunradh”, lohg io. “Tun mi enfiell un prient ex prever yars, de quom credeihm od is woid baygh. Io hieb pict semject, un av, quod sielg un mundglobe. Ho yist id ei. Pos sem wakt, kun io neti credihsim in to, recepsim un genpian do mien hand, ep quod eet script : “El av se udweight ex id oiv. Id oiv est id mund. Quel gnahskwt dehlct destruge un mund ; El av pleukt kye Div. Id nam ios Div est Abraxas. » Is jawieb neid, wey exvulbh nies castans ed ess ia con id vin. “Kwe smad repohe un dostkan ?” sprohg is. “No, dank. Ne drehnko gairn.” Is glih, lyt decept. “Kam yu volte ! Bi me est als. Mano her dar. Yu maghte gwahe !” Kun gwahsim ye id niebst ker id orghelmusic ab me, is ne buit baygh-ye communicative. Is me duxit in un veut gatva per un veut, sumptueus dom ub ed do uno mier, destull deusk ed neglegen kamer quer ploisko un piano neid mehnih de music, menxu un piwon bukschkaf ed un scritable dahr ei kyal semject alim. “Kam maung buks yu habte !” dohlg io rekehgne. “Un deil tos est ex id bibliotheque miens pater bi quom weiko. – Ya, yuwen, weiko bi dadmam, bet khako vos presente im, mien presence her domi ne brunct maung respect. Som un lusen sunu, woid yu. Mien pater est un fabuleus-ye honorable wir, un important pastor ed precher her urbi. Ed ego, kay suawoidat, som eys beghaben ed promissor poti son, qui hat yed derailen ed bihn lyt foll.
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Eem theolog ed ho likwn tod honeste facultat pau pos id statsexamen. Quayque ghi som dar semper in id matier, dayir mien privat studyes. Qua i leuds sib hant aiw exmohnt ka Divs est mi dar semper hog-ye important ed interessant. Eti som nun musician ed preimsiem mox, kwehkant-ye, un wals os lyter organiste. Tun som io iter oinsschi bei kyrk.” Io prichohx ia bukspinas, trohv hellen, latin, ibri titules, yeji io dyohrc med id muzlim luce ios lytil tablelampe. Entrim-ye mieno mejban se hieb lyict ep id podloga engwn id tabique ed kwohr ter semject. “Gwehmte ghi”, kiel is pos un khvil, “vahms nun exercice lyt philosophia, yani clude nies muks, lyehge brous ed mehne.” Is diegh un kibrit ed dyohg in id vatra, ant quod is lyohg, papier ed logs. Ia flammes lud, is bustighit ed betyic id ogwn samt paurscto kaur. Io me lyig nieb iom ep id trehto tapit. Is oistier ad id ogwn, quod meschi attrieg, ed lyohgam taycend unte un wassime horo brous ant id flickernd malek, visam id flamme ed kwistles, ensehnke ed kehmbe, se forflicker ed kruses ed bad gluhe ghom in still, forsohnken geuls. “Ogwndyinst ne eet id cacavanst aiw invent”, murmurit is oins ant se. Sonst-ye neuter ex nos sieyg un werd. Med starnd okwi naspohc io id ogwn, me forsohnk do drehm ed sakwnia, vis gastalts in id dum ed kwiters in id asch. Oins buim dekhschaten. Mien sokwi xubh uno smulk schtuk os gwetu do ia geuls, un lytil, slanc flamme lud ub, io vis in id el av samt id kenek dogan cap. In ia sa-mehrnd vatrageuls wierdh golden gluhnd sayetos, buksteivs ed kwiters prohp, mehmens de liges, kweterpods, plantes, ogvis. Kun, gehrnd, io vis kye alter, stier is, sieno mant ep sien peungsta, fidayi-ye ed fanatic-ye do id bur. “Nun dehlgo gwahe”, sieygim ye khafi voc. “Ya, tun gwahte. Do reviden !” Is ne stahsit ub, ed dat id lampe eet sgwest, io mi dohlg udtaste muschkilan per id temost kamer ed ia temosta dikhliz ed drabs ex id balstohmen veuto dom. In id strad io hielt ed spohc ub id veuto dom. Apter neid fenster blig luce. Uno smulk schild ex massing luc in id arg ios gaslanterne ant id dwer. “Pistorius, chef-pastor”, lis io ep id. Bad-ye domi, kun pos dorkwo io sess mon in mieno smulko kamer, mi enfiell od io hieb matht ud Pistorius neid de Abraxas ni de sonst, od hiebam payn exchangen dec werds. Bet eem baygh masrour de mien visite bi iom. Ed pro od
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niebst ker is mi hiebit promiss un baygh nafassato schtuk os veut orghenmusic, un passacaglia ab Buxtehude. Aun od io wois to, hieb mi daht is organiste Pistorius un prest lection, kun lyohgim con iom ant id vatra ep id podloga os eyso skeud ermitekamer. Id staren ad id ogwno mi hieb esen sislew, id hieb kardwnt ed confirmet tendences in me qua io hieb semper haben, yed naiwo druve-ye fostern. Tadrijan to mi buit partye clar. Ja ka smulk magv hieb io kers habt id kliti kye stare ad bizarre formes ios nature, ne kay observe sontern fuschioue ir wi magia, ir puk, profund lurhat. Long, forcrohscta druraudhs, colort schikhts in id ghianshiek, olglois qua snahr ep wed, vrons in glas – quant samlik jects hieb tid-ye haben baygh magia pro me, hassa iaschi aqua ed piurn, dum, nebhs, duil, ed meg besonters ia kwehlend colorglois qua io vis quan io clus mien okwi. Unte ia diens pos mien prest visite bi Pistorius renfiell mi to. Tun kieusim od io dulg wahid-ye un certain kardwnen ed joy, un augen miens khisses os meswo quod io spruv tuntos, ei long staren ad id ouvert ogwn. Kwehre to eet skaun-ye karime ed richeihnd ! Ei roigi iom pauk experiencen, qua io hieb trohven tuntro unte id itner kye mien druv gwitziel, se addih tod nov : id contemplation talgen wardhs, id taslime dia irrational, puk, stragna formes ios nature gehnt in nos un khisses ios concorde nosters inner con id vol quod sint ta wardhens bihe – spreuvmos mox id tentation os aye ia nies wi dumsa, nies wi creations – vidmos id grance inter nos ed id nature khisses ed dissrues ed bignohmos id keyf in quod ne woidam kweter ia kwiters gnahnt ex uder pondsa ep nies retina we intos. Neidloc tem simple-ye ed facil-ye quem unte tod exercice kwehrmos wey id aunstehgen kam creators wey smos, kam meg noster synto smyismyehrt id constanto tyeicen ios mund. Anter est to id sam indivisible divtat quod est active in nos ed in id nature, ed sei id uder mund gughehriet, tun esiet oin ex nos kabil os reconstruge id, ar ghyor ed strohm, dru ed warak, raudh ed spreug, id hol wardhos in id nature wehst in nos preformen, gnaht ex id synt quos essence est abad, quos essence ne gnohmos, bet quod se daht ad spruves ad nos ka liubhforce ed kerdosgwis. Bad maung yars serter io trohv tod observation confirmen in un buk, nam-ye ab Leonardo da Vinci qui oins baht kam gohd ed profundo est inspirant spehce uno mur ep quod maung leuds hant spiun. Ant cia glois ep id smeu muro khissit is id sam quem Pistorius ed ego ant id ogwn. Unte nies niebsto samghat mi dahsit is organiste un explication. “Tracems ia grances nosters personalitat semper pior angh-ye ! Imputems ad nies person semper quo recogneihmos ka individual-ye distinct, abveicend. Bet
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consistmos id hol ses ios mund, ielg em nos, ed tem quem nies corpos behrt in se ia evolutionstabells tiel el pisk ed dar meg wayter retro, habmos in id synt quantum aiwo gegwivit in menscenatmens. Vasyi Divs ed Diabels, qui hant aiw esen, auter bi Hellens ed Chinesens au bi Zulucafrens, vasyi sont eni nos, sont ter, ka possibilitats, ka vanscha, ka exweghs. Sei id menscgenos perimehriet ploisko oinis midbeghaben magv, quel habiet bruct neid genos os talim, tel magv ghehdiet reproduce Divs, Demons, Paradaysa, Commandements ed Bans, Veut ed Nov Testaments, quant. » « Yaghi », arguim, « bet tar quod dar id wirt al individu consist ? Kay dar strehngmos nos sei wey habmos ja quant preparen in nos ? ». « Halt ! » exclamit vehement-ye Pistorius. « Est un mier difference inter tik behre id mund in se, ed woide toschi ! Un foll ghehdt emitte brens qua mehmeihnt de Platon, ed un smulk zakir scolpwarn in un institutu iom moravsken fraters exmehnt profund mythologic connexions qua existent bim Gnosticistes au bi Zarathuschtra. Bet is woid neid de ! Is est un dru au un petra, gohdst-ye un animal, esta is woid to. Bet tun, quan id prest bliute tos rekehgnen regwt, tun is biht mensc. Nekwe aysies vasyens dwipods, yi ter drahnt in id strad, menscens just ob gwahnt wardh ed behrnt ir agla unte nev munts ? Yughi vidte kam maungs ex i sont pisk au owi, vehrms au gielwks, kam maungs murms, kam maungs beis ! In nu ielg ex i existe ia possibilitats kyel mensc, bad de, aumend-ye ia, hatta eucend-ye conscientihes ia part-ye, el est bayghen ab ta possibilitats.” Edvas tos genos eent nies conversations. Rar-ye mi brigh ia semject alnos nov, semject total-ye surprindant. Bet quanta, idschi trivialst, hihr med khafi constant hammercutt id sam point in me, quanta me hohlp ad kules, quanta hohlp twacs ad abwernes ex me, disbrehge oivkiauts, ed ex ielgo liv io mien cap lyt hoger, lyt leurer, hina mien kenek av xyieng sien bell meongcincap ex id disdraubhen mundkiaut. Frequent-ye narram nies drehms ad mutu. Pistorius siegv ibs dahe uno maynen. Un daumost exempel mi est hatta mehmim. Io hieb un drehm in quod io siegv plukes, lakin ye un weidos quosmed eem falakhwnt in id air samt uno mier elan, quod io khiek mayster. Tod pleuk dahsit un leudkhisses, yed poskwo mox paur, kun io me vis protievol dribhen do khaterwent hoges. Tun kwohr io id leudhernd austehgen od io ghohd regule mien steighen ed fallen stopend-ye ed sinend-ye strehme mien annem. De to iey Pistorius : “Id elan quod vos pleukeiht, tod est nies mier humanitatsxeihsa, quod ielg hat. Est id khisses os connexion con ia raudhs os ielg force, bet id buit ob to mox dekhschatic ! Est balstohmen-ye dangereus !
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Itak pleisti tyehgve id pleuken tem gairn ed meilent ravane ep id trotuar ghesornd-ye dasturs. Bet yu ne. Yu napleucte kam est uns kabil oglan. Ed ener yu aunstehcte id daumost, od yu tadrijan bimaystert, od do id mier commun force, quo fordreibht vos, un fayn, smulk, wi force gwehmt, un organ, un diumenn ! To est megil. Aun to swehbhiet anghen airtro, kam kwehnt mathalan i folls. Im sont daht profunder aums quem im leuds ep id trotuar, bet hant neter cleich ni tiumenn pro to, ed abreusche do id aungrund. Bet yu, Sinclair, sagvte ! Ed kam, plais. Ne tar suawoid yu to ? Yu kwehrte to med un nov organ, un annemregulator. Ed nun yu ghehdte kam pau “personal” est vies atmen in sien profundor. Id ge ne invent tod regulator ! Id ne est nov ! Est un laun, existneut pon millenia ! Id est id tulaorgan im pisken, id est id snahwensti. Sont ghi oik pauk stragn ed conservative piskgensa dar nundiens in qui id snahwensti est sammel un sorte os pulmon ed sekwent circonstances druve-ye ghehdt daughe kay annmes. Also kheptenn kam id pulmon quod yu neudte in drehm kam snahwensti !” Is mi brigh hatta un jasamat os zoologia ed mi dik nams ed illustrations cim extermode pisken. Ed io khiss in me, samt un particularo kreus, gwiv un function ex prever evolutionszamans. Jacobs katu Quo io math ud iom excentric musician Pistorius de Abraxas khako relehge bragv-ye. Bet id importantst io uc bi iom buit un perodher stieup ep id itner kye meswo. Eem prevst, circum octdemat, un rhayr adic yuwen, matur de gheslo jects, baygh retro ed aunhehlp in gheslo alya jects. Quando me comparim her ed cer con alyens, io hieb esen ops mynder ed marhour, bet tem ops-ye maloul ed humilyet. Ops hieb io me ayn un genie, ops-ye pwolfoll. Io ne kamyieb smyehre joys ed gwit iom samats, ed ops hiebim paraydhen in mambhs ed sweurghs, kamsei eem desperat-ye separen ud iens, kamsei id gwit mi eet andamt. Pistorius, quiswo eet un balirh excentric, mi doxit preserve id courage ed id respecto dia meswo. Veivrehnd-ye kamatihum in mien werds, in mien drehms, in mien fantasias, pipreimend-ye ed titolkend-ye serieus ia, is mi dahsit id exempel. “Yu mi habte lohgen”, sieyg is, “od yu lieubhte music ob id ne est moralisant. Ob me. Bet yuswo neschi dehlcte ses un moraliste ! Yu ne poitte compare vos con alyens, ed sei id Nature vos hat creet ka baul, yu ne poitte bihskwe un straus. Yu vos ayte tid-ye stragn, yu vos mambhte kwehre alya itners quem pleisti. To dehlcte yu desuces. Starte do id ogwn, starte do ia nebhs, ed yant ia aums gwehme ed ia vocs in vies atmen bibahnt, tun upersinte vosswo ed mae
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bisprehcte kweter toschi est dohbro we kyar ad Poti Daskal au Poti Papa au queiquid Sell Div ! Katha anghen se saupt. Katha gwehmt anghen ep id trotuar ed biht fossil. Kyar Sinclair, id nam os nies Div est Abraxas, ed is est Div ed Satan, is hat id gwayder ed id sombre mund in se. Abraxas hat neid objectu contra vies brens ni vies drehms. Mae myehrste to aiwo. Bet is vos linkwt sei yu habte oins bihn aunmambh ed normal. Tun is vos linkwt ed sib paursct un nov pot kay pehkwe sien brens eni.” Bayna mien quana drehms buit cid sombre liubhdrehm id dervst. Ops eededrohmim od entrim sub id vapwnav do nies veuto dom, triecskwim mienu mater ad me ed vice iam io ambhghens iam mier, pwolner, pwolster gvibh dia quam io hieb dekhschat ed quay id ardentst desire attrieg me yed. Ed tod drehm ghohd io naiwo narre mieni prient. Io enibohnd id menxu io hieb ei zacluden ceters. Eet mien secret wangwl, mien refuge. Quan eem waurgen, tun budim Pistorius plais kem is mi kien id passacaglia ios veut Buxtehude. In id vesperal, deusko kyrk forsess io me do tod stragno, intim, forsohnkto do seswo, se-kleusternd music, quod mi eet ielgs-ye karime ed me paraterihsit ad aye prabh ia vocs ios atmen. Tid-ye remien wey yaschi unte un khvil, pos id orghen hieb ja zaclanghen, seddend in id kyrk ed vis id muzlim luce se forbliges per ia hog, semikohmbern vitrals. “Est goil”, sieyg Pistorius, “od eem prevst-ye theolog ed quasi habiem bihn pastor. Bet ho tik-ye commiss un error os forme. Ses pryster est mien kasseb ed mien ziel. Tik, eem masrour pior aus ed behandih Jehovah me dar pre gnohsim Abraxas. Ah, cada religion est bell. Religion est atmen, kweter anghen preimt id eucharistie we hagyet do Makka.” “Tun yu”, mieynim io, “habiete druve-ye maghen bihe pastor.” “No, Sinclair, no. Habiem dohlgen lughes. Nies religion est dyinen kamsei id ne esiet oin. Id kwehrt kamsei esiet un intellectual wehrg. Naudh-ye ghehdiem ya ses catholic, bet protestant pryster – no ! I oik druv fiders – gnohm solgens – darnt gairn id litteral, im khakiem sayge odghi Christ est pro me neis person, sontern un mythic heroy, un immense yoeng quosmed id menscgenos vidt seswo pigen ep id schirm ios abad. Ed alters qui gwahnt kyrk, kay aure un clever werd, kay plehe un obligation, kay neglege neid yunyun, ya, quod habiem io tohrben im sayge ? Converte i, maynte yu ? Bet to nel-ye volo. Is pryster ne convertskwt, gwivskwt tik bayna fiders, bayna samliks ed eiskwt ses tragher ed wekwos pro id khisses ex quod makhmos nies divs.”

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Is se interrup. Dind is nabahsit : “Nies nov fid, pro quod nun cheusmos id nam os Abraxas, est bell, yun prient. Est id gohdst wey hams. Bet id est dar un ditil ! Els ptergs ne hant ja crohsct. Ah, un mon religion ne est bad id ver. Dehlct bihe commun, habe cult ed medvia, fests ed mysteirs... » Is sohgn ed se forsohnk do se. “Khake mysteirs ses bayramt yaschi mon we in smulk circule ?” sprohg io keungend-ye. “Toghi ghehdt”, nud is. “Bayramneum ia ja diutos. Ho bayramen sem cults, pro qua dehlgiem ses karcern unter yars sei anghen woidiet de. Bet woidim to ne est id druv.” Stayg plieg is mien oms, quo me spreudih. “Pwarn”, sieyg is penetrant-ye, “yuschi habte mysteirs. Woidim yu sollte habe drehms qua yu ne mi saycte. Ne gnohskwim ia. Bet vos saygo : gwivte ia, acte ia, structe altars ibs ! To ne est bad perfection, bet to est un itner kye. An wey oins, yu ed ego ed oik alyi, udnovsiemos id mund siet anghen vide. Bet eni nos dehlgmos udnove id ye cadadien, sonst neid est eni nos. Mehnte de ! Ste octdemat, Sinclair, yu ne gwahte bi larinas, yu sollte habe liubhdrehms, liubhvanscha. Kad ste yu it sei yu bayte ia. Ia sont id gohdst yu habte ! Yu maghte credihes me. Ho ghi lusen maung uperwaldhus-ye, ye vies oumer, mien liubhdrehms. To ne dehlct ses kwohrt. Sei anghen gnoht de Abraxas, anghen neti poitt kwehre to. Anghen poitt baye neid ni aye banen quo id atmen in nos vanscht. » Dekhschat objexim io : “Bet anghen yed ne poitt kwehre quanto al enfallt ! Anghen yed neschi poitt nices un mensc el detestet.” Is movit proscher me. “Sekwent ia circumstances anghen poitt toschi. Tik to est pleistens un error. Neschi mayno od yu tehrbiete mer-ye kwehre quanto gwaht per vies ment. No, bet yu ne tehrbiete vierdnicihes ta enfalls, qua hant ir wi sense, ob yu expulcte ed perimoraliset ia. Instet crucificte se au alyem, anghen maght drehnke vin ex un kelic samt festbrens ed it memnes id mysteir ios sacrifrice. Anghen ghehdt, hatta aun solg actions, traite sien pulsions ed itnamen tentations med respect ed liubh. Tun deike ia ir sense, ed vasya hant sense. – Sei vos oins enfallt semject alnos akmak au syntwent, sei yu neicskwte semanghen we committskwte quodquid gigantesk khalazat, tun mehmte unte un instant od est Abraxas qui fantasmet it in vos. El mensc yu neicskwte est ya naiwo Poti Fulan, est sigwra tik un desguise. Quando hainmos un mensc, tun hainmos wey in els image semject quod wehst in nos. Quo ne est in nosswo ne nos isnaht. »
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Naiwo mi hiebit Pistorius sayct semjecto quod me hieb emoto tem profund-ye ed intim-ye. Io khiek antwehrde. Bet quo me hieb affect aksterst-ye ed stragnestye buit id consonance tos exhoration con werds Demians qua eebehrneum in me pon yars. Ies wois neid de mutu, ed bo mi sieyg id sam. “Ia jects qua vidmos”, sieyg Pistorius ye khafi voc, “sont ia sam jects qua sont in nos. Ne est alyo realitat quem quod habmos in nos. Itak gwivent pleisti mensci tem irreal-ye, ob aynt ia kwiters exo ka id real ed ne sinent bahe ir wi mund in se. Anghen ghehdt se contente tosmed. Bet oins kun anghen gnoht id alyo, tun el neti hat id cheus os kwehre id itner im pleisten. Sinclair, id itner im pleisten est facil, noster est difficil. – Vahmos gwahe. » Oik diens serter, pos io hieb dwis oiskohpt iom in vain, incontrim iom ye sert vesper in id strad, kamsei id srig wind wehsit mon iom ad un kantun, kwehlpend ed alnos makhmour. Ne kielskwim iom. Is gwohm pri me, aun vide me, ed stier ant se med gluhnd ed forlust okwi, kamsei is sohkw un deusko kal ex id incognitum. Sohkwim iom unte oin strad, is driv kam tract med un invisible viel, samt fanatic yed dissolven gwayt, kam un kabus. Yui io gwirliey do miena neplehn drehms. “It udnovt is nun id mund in se !” mohn io ed khiss dar unte id sam instant od to eet mohnt ghem-ye ed moralisant-ye. Quod woisim de eys drehms ? Kad is gwahsit in sieno medvia un surer itner quem ego in mien baysa. Unte ia pauses inter ia scoldarsa me hieb yando ubfallen od un scoldust iskwit mien prokwitat, quom io hieb naiwo kaut. Is eet uno smulk, slab kwehkend, isghen pwarn samt ruoss teun kays, qui in spect ed sulouk hieb semject particular. Sem vesper, kun io gwirliey, is me luurit in id gatva, me sis gwahe pri iom, me naviex tun currend-ye ed vistahsit ed ant nies domdwer. “Vols tu semject ud me ?” sprohg io. « Just tolcskwo con te oins », iey is yui-ye. “Lutfan gwehm unte oik stieups con me.” Sohkwim iom ed spruv od is eet profund-ye isnaht ed intizarnd. Eys hands trembleer. “Es tu spiritiste ?” sprohg is alnos stayg. “No, Knauer”, iey io gleihnd. “Neid trace de. Kam gwehms tu do to ?” “Bet es tu theosoph ?”
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“Neschi.” « Ah, mae sdi tem cazour ! Yed suaspreuvo od est semject particular in te. Has to in tien okwi. Credeihm darm-ye od communies con ansus. – Ne sprehgo ob curiositat, Sinclair, no ! Ioswo som un paursker, woidst tu, ed som tem mon.” “Lehg ghi !” encouragim iom. “Albatta neid woidim de ansus, gwivo in mien drehms, ed to tu has spruven. Alter leuds yaschi gwive in drehms, bet ne in ir wis, to est id difference.” “Ya, kad est it”, susurit is. “To dependt tik id sorte iom drehms in qua est gwiwt. – Has tu ja klun de id kwit magia ?” Io dehlg nege. “To est quando anghen euct mayster seswo. Anghen ghehdt bihe nemerti edschi manghane. Ne has tu aiwo kwohrt talg exercices ? » Is reieg preter sirri dia mien curiositatsquestion de ta exercices hina io vols kay linkwes, tun is revelit quant. « Mathalan, quando volo narce auschi tankes, tun kwehro io un solg exercice. Tanko de quodgvonc, mathalan un werd au un nam, au un geometric figure. De tod tanko eni me, tem akster-ye quem ghehdo, eiskwo fiker id eni mien cap hina kheissso id est eni. Tun tanko id do mien coll, ed yunyun hin alnos pehldo iosmed. Tun som io alnos darm, ed neideti ghehdt bringhes me exter rahat.” Io ghieb deil-ye quo is mieyn. Yed io suakhiss od is hieb dar alyum ep sien kerd, is eet stragn-ye exciten ed hastic. Io pit ei facilihes id suwal, ed mox gwohm is tun de quo ei importit. « Kwe tuschi abstehms ? » sprohg is me anxieus-ye. “Kam mayns tu to ? Mayns tu sexual-ye ?” « Ya, ya. Abstehmneum pon dwo yars, pon sehkwo id talim. Prever hieb io habt eakias, tu woid ja. – Also es tu naiw esen bi un gwen ?” “No”, ieyim io. “Ne ho trohven iam dohbru.” “Bet sei trehvies quam tu mayns iam dohbru, tun swehpies tu con iam ?” « Ya, naturelika. – Sei ia hat neid contra », ieyim io samt sem joc.
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“Oh, bet ter kwehrs id ghaw itner ! Ia inner forces ghehde tik ses formen sei anghen remant alnos abstehmend. Ho kwohrn to unte dwo yars. Wo yars ed edvas meis quem oin munt ! Est tem difficil ! Yando ghehdo payneti dare.” “Aur, Knauer, ne credeihm od abstehme est druve-ye tem important.” « Woidim », alexit is, « quanti saygent to. Bet ud te io ne hieb exspectet to. Quel kwehrskwt id hoger spiritual itner dehlct remane pur, mutlak !” “Ya, tun kwehr to ! Bet ne ghabo ma anghen sollt ses “purer” quem quelgvonc alyis ob el enderwaurct sien sexualitat. We ghehds tu oisschalte sexualitat ex quant brens ed drehms ? » Is me spohc desperat-ye. “No, ne hatta ! Yallah, yed to dehlct ses. Ho drehms in id noct qua khako miswo hatta lehge ! Terrible ghi drehms !” Io mohm quo Pistorius mi hieb saygen. Bet nespekent io khiss eys werds ka prabh, io khiek redahe ia, io khiek dahe un radh quod ne orgwohm ex mien wi experience ed dia quos vafa io ne me khiss nakis. Io bitieyc ed me khiss humilyet ob tun semquis bud me po un radh quei io ne hieb oin dahtu. “Ho proben quant !” se lamentit Knauer nieb me. « Ho kwohrn quanto ghehdt ses kwohrn, med srig wed, med sneigv, med tamrins ed spehrd, bet to hol daugh’ ka neid. Cadanoct gehro ex drehms de qua alnos ne poitto mehne. Ed pamrlanant est ob to leusleuso iter quod spiritual ho uct. Quasi naiweti kamyabo me tankes au swehpihes, ops lyehgo protiebudt unte id hol noct. Niem diu kanrine. Quando fin-ye khako najidale, quando tyehgvo ed me rekwehro impur, tun som io khaker quem ceters qui hant naiwo jidalt. Ghabs tu yed ?” Io nud, ghohd lakin sayge neid de. Is biplictissit me, ed buim dekhschat ab meswo ob eys evident naudh ed desperationo ne mi kwohr profunder pondos. Io tik khiss : khako te hehlpe. “Also woidst neid pro me ?” visieyg is exhausen ed yui. “Khich ? Sollt yed ses un solution ! Kam tar kwehrs tu ?” “Khako tib sayge ject, Knauer. Khacti anghen hehlpe mutu. Nimen mi hat hohlpen. Dehlcs reflecte de teswo, ed tun dehlcs tyices quo salct druve-ye tien ses. Ne est alyo. Sei tuswo khacs trehve te, tun neschi sies trehve ansus, to credeihm. »

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Decept ed stayg niemasct is smulko karl me spohc. Tun gluhsit ub eys glanez med stayg animositat, is mi fras ed cricit ob rage : “Ah, es mi un bell saint ! Has tienschi eakias, woidim ! Acs kam un sage, rahas-ye antgreips id sam sreup quem ego ed quanti ! Es un swin, un swin, kam ioswo. Wey quanti smos swins !” Abgwahsim ed likwim iom stahe. Is apterghiengit me unte dwo, tri stieups, tun mien is retro, abgir ed fug. Bihsim bfuyowo med un khisses om mildet ed disgust, ed ne abdehsim tod sentiment ud me hina hemi in mieno micri kamer io ambhstohl mien oik portraits ed fuschiousim samt ardentst intimitat mien wi drehms. Fauran regwohmit mien drehm de id domdwer samt vapwn, de iam mater ed iam tarnien gwen, ed io vis ia traits ias gwen tem uperkweiter quem io biriss ays portrait ye id sam vesper. Kun tod rissem buit khatem pos oika diens, tyicen unte drehmwent horquardels kam inconscient, hieng io id ye id vesper ep mieno mur, movim id studyelampe prosch id ed stahsim ant id kam ant un drukhem protie quel io dohlg tehre un badv. Eet un lige, samlik ad prever, samlik mieni prienti Demian, in oik traits yaschi samlik miswo. Uter ok wohs ubfallend-ye hoger quem alter, id spect se forstier wayt uper me, meinyunplen. Stahsim ant id srigehsim ob inner efforto tiel mien xiongbu. Io sprohg id portrait, accusim id, cocollim id, ei mohld; io id niem mater, io id niem liubhen, niem id hurv ed larina, niem id Abraxas. Entrim-y mi enfiell werds os Pistorius – au os Demian ? - ; io khiek mehme quan ia buir bahn, bet io mohm iter aure ia. Eent werds de Jacobs katu contra Divs Angel, ed id “Te sinsiem skape tik sei me blaghs ». Id pict lige in id lampe arg se transformit ye cada kyeuken. Bihsit bleigu ed lamper, bihsit sword ed temser, clus palla lids uper vimohrt okwi, reghyien ia ed blig med gluhnda glanez, eet gwen, eet wir, eet bent, eet un smulk magv, un animal, flieu do gloi, rebihsit large ed clar. Fin-ye clus io, sehkwnd un akster, inner kal, mien okwi ed vis taiper id portrait inworts in me, nerter ed staurer. Genueskwim ant id, bet id eet tem maung in me quem io neti ghohd separe id ud me, kamsei id habiet biht plen-ye ego. Tun ieur io un sombre, gwaur kweistel kam ud un pirmwerstorm ed krus indescriptible-ye ob un nov khisses om paur ed experience. Stars trembleer ub ant me ed sgwes, mehmens retro tiel id auwal, myohrsenst magvtid, ya tiel do preexistences ed aus etapes ios bihsa, strohm waurgen pri me. Bet ia mehmens, qua kwohk se repetihes tiel id secretst unte mien hol gwit, ne chwoyeer ghes ni hoyd, ia nalit, speculeer future, rohv me ex hoyd ed do nov gwitformes, quom

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images eent ifrat kweiter ed blindend, de lakin neid ex qua io ghohd serter druve-ye mehme. In id noct io gohr ex profund swehpen, eem dut ed lyohgim skeir ep mien crovat. Io khiss od io dohlg reflecte de semject important, neti woisim jecto de ia saats prever. Io diegh luce, id memoria regwohm tadrijan. Io pieursk id portrait, id neti hieng ep id mur, ne lyohg ep id table. Tun io credih sombre-ye mehme brandus id. We eet to esen un drehm quer habiem brans id in mien hands ed ess id bur ? Uno mier trehsend rhayr-rahat me dribh. Epduim mien hat, ghieng per dom ed gatva, kam sub un dwinegh, curs ed curs per strads ed trans places kam weht ab un storm, luurim ant id temser kyrk miens prient, pieursk ed pieursk in sombre pulsion aun woide quod. Io gwohm per un suburb, quer stahr larinadoms, cer ed her eet dar luce. Wayter exo lyohg nov imaras ed kowps om tegules, part-ye covohrt med greiso sneigv. Mi enfiell, dat iegim kam un swehpghanger sub un rhayir pressem per tod verstep, id nov imara in id urb miens pater in quod prevst mien aziyater Kromer me hieb attragen pro nies prest perikwiti. Un samlik imara lyohg in id greis noct her ant me, ghyahsit med kyehrsen dwertorm kye me. Id me attraxit intro, abvicskwim ed kwohlp uper sand ed mor; id waurg buit nerter, io dohlg intro. Uper planks ed disbrohct bricks vienk io in id desert kyal, id odit trub-ye madh srigos ed petras. Un sandkowp lyohg ter, un greiskweiter gloi, sonst eet quanto deusk. Ter me kiel un dekhschaten voc : « Yallah, Sinclair, quetos gwehms tu ? » Ed nieb me wierdh ex id temos uno mensc, uno smulk maigher oglan, kam un drukh, ed io recognih, menxu mien drighs dar ghohrs, mien scoldust Knauer. « Unte has tu gwohmt hetro ? » sprohg is, kam grassabfoll. “Quosmed has tu ghohden trehve me ?” Io ne fahiem. “Ne te ho paursken”, ieiyim io abstaunihn; ielg werd mi gwohmit muschkil-ye per daut, gwaur, kam frohst lipps. Is oistier ad me. “Ne paursken ?”

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“No. Ho est attract. Has tu kalen me ? Solls kalus me. Quod tar kwehrs tu her ? Yed est noct.” Is glieb me convulsive-ye med sien teun brakhs. “Ya, noct. Mox sollt ses aghyern. O Sinclair, ke tu ne me has myohrsen ! Kwe maghs tu mi indulges ?” « Indulges quod ? » « Yaghi buim tem detestable ! » Bad tun mi regwohm id mehmen de nies conversation. Hieb tod esen quar, penk diens pre ? Mi kwohk passevs un gwit entrim. Bet taiper woisim stayg-ye quant. Ne tik quo hieb wakyet, sontern yaschi ma io hieb gwohmt hetro ed quo Knauer her exo hieb kwohrskwt. « Also iskwist suicide, Knauer ? » Is krus ob srigos ed ob paur. “Ya, iskwim. Ne woidim an habiem ghohdt. Skohptskwim hina biht aghyern.” Duxim iom tiel dworis. Ia presta diewostrehls luc nesayget-ye srig ed aunlas in id greis hava. Io nih iom pwarn unte un strohca brakh-ye. Eni me buit bahn : “Nun gwirlays ed saycs neid ad anghen ! Has kwohrt id ghaw itner, id ghaw itner ! Neschi smos swins, kam tu mayns. Smos mensci. Makhmos Divs ed katuems protiev i, ed nos blaghent.” Taycend nagwahsam dind sriens. Kun io gwirliey, id dien hieb gwohmen. Id gohdst quod cid tid in St. mi dar-ye brigh buir hors con Pistorius kanend orghen au ant id vatra. Wey comlis un hellen texte de Abraxas, is lis mi schtuks uns tarjem ex ia Vedas ed mi doxit swehre id iser « Om ». Kamkwe ne eet tod erudition quod me inner-ye progreddih, sontern anter id contrar. Quo mi buit karime buit id perodhtrehven in meswo, id augend trusto dia mien wi drehms, brens ed aums, ed id augend weida de id stieure quod io bohr in me. Pistorius bid io ye cada weidos. Io tohrb tik mehne akster-ye de iom, it eem io yakin od is au un salut ud iom gwohm ad me. Io ghohd, kam con Demian, sprehge iom aun od isswo eet ter : io tohrb tik fiker iom darm-ye ed direge mien
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questions ka intensive brens ad iom. Tun id hol atmengwis dahn in id question rik me. Tik, ne eet id person os Pistorius, quod fikrim, ni tod os Max Demian, sontern eet id portraito drohmen ed pigen ab me, id nerster drehmkwiter miens demon quod dohlgim kyukes. Gwivit taiper neti wahid-ye in mien drehms ed neti pigen ep papier, sontern in me, kam un vanschkwiter ed un keulen os me. Particular ed yando comic eet id samband quod is deuysus suicider Knauer hieb inkapen dia me. Pon id noct, unte quod io hieb est yist ei, eehangneut ud me kam un derv sloug au un kwaun, eepeitneut diehnes sien gwit mieni ed eesehkwneut me blind-ye. Con ia stragnest questions ed vanscha eegwehmt ad me, eevidskwt drukhs, ee-eucskwt id kabbala ed ne me eecredeiht quan ei sigwrim od gnohsim neid de ta quant jects. Eefikert io xih cada augos. Bet stragn eet od is eegwehmt ops ad me con sien bizarre ed cacavan questions just quando semo node in me eetehrpt ses diskwohrn, ed od eys aukatic enfalls ed interesses ops mi eenbringhe id decisive werd ed impulsion kyid solution. Ops is mi eet plictic ed io abyis iom swamenlika, yed io spruv : isschi mi eet yisen, ex iomschi gwohm quo ei dahsim, retro doublet do me, isschi mi eet un duc, au yed un itner. Ia puyku buks ed scripts qua is mi anac ed in qua is pieurskit sien furkan mi doxeer meis quem io ghohd ghabe instant-ye. So Knauer disprohp serter nekaun ex mien itner. Con iom un confrontationo ne buit necessar. Bet ya con Pistorius. Con tom prient gwivim prosch id conclusion os mien scoltid in St. dar semject particular. Imschi aunharm menscims remant payn sparn oins au oiks in id gwit entre conflicto con ia bell virtuts ios pietat ed ios schakiria. Cadanghen dehlct oins kwehre id stieup quod separet el ud els pater, ud els daskals, cadanghen dehlct spruves semject ios kieurde ios khalwa, esdi pleisti mensci ghehde tehle pau ex id ed mox rempe retro. – Ud mien parents ed ir mund, id “gwayder” mund os mien bell miegve, ne hieb io me separet in violent katu, sontern lent-ye ed hiebim bihn im quasi nekaun-ye pierner ed aliener. To me maafih ed mi dahsit unte ia visites in id vatan ops bitter hors; bet to ne lit tiel id kerd, to eet kanrien. Bet quer hams adbohrn liubh ed yazgos ne ob swohd sontern ob wist pussire, quer hams est med wist kerdo disciple ed prients – ter est uno meis bitter ed terribler moment, quando maynmos recognihes stayg od id neihndo druna in nos abducskwt nos ud iom liubht. Tetro se direct ielg bren, quod reject iom prient ed daskal, med poisont akwn protie nies wi kerd, ter heiht ielg defense tamrino nies wi lige. Ter emerge tal quel mieyn behre in se un valid moralitat ia nams “desloyaltat » ed « bojinchenge » kam deshonorant appells ed tangtuvras, tun feuct id dekhschaten kerd anxieus-ye tsay do ia kyar dals iom miegvevirtuts ed khact credihes odschi tod brehg dohlg ses kwohrn, odschi tod diemen dohlg ses dissciden.
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Lent-ye hieb un khisses in me wakt-ye diwidt recognihes tem mutlak mien prient Pistorius ka duc. Quo io hieb gwiven unte ia importantsta munts miens yuwentstid eet eys radh, eys tassalli, eys prokwitat. Per iom me hieb Div wohkwn. Ex eyso stohm hieb mien drehms riken me, kwiten ed tolken. Is mi hieb schohnken id courage dia meswo. – Ah, ed taiper eespispreuvo lent-ye resistences contra iom. Eys werds eent pior bedarsant, io khiss od is taiper alnos fahiem alnos un part os me. Buit neid cheid, neid scene inter nos, neid rupture ed ne hatta un perikwiti. Io ei sieyg tik oin druv-ye aunharm werd – yed to buit chiowdeo id instant kun inter nos un illusion disfiell do pelupoik dreska. Waurs hieb me id prekhisses ja unte un khvil, id wohrt do kweiter sentiment semo mingo in eys veut mualimkamer. Lyohgam ep id podloga ant id vatra, ed is bahsit de mysteirs ed religionsformes qua is oistudyit, de qua is sohgnit ed quom possible future kwohr besic iom. Bet to hol mi kwohk curieuser ed interessanter quem vital, to mi kwohkit galohros, to mi kwohk strak sok ex subter gadrab ancianen munds. Ed sammel oins oispruv io un protievolia contra tod hol manier, contra tod cult iom mythologias, contra tod mosayicleik med transdehta dyinformes. “Pistorius”, ieyim io stayg, samt un peighert surprindend miswo ed gwehlend dekhschat-ye, “yu tehrbiete mi lohgye oins un drehm, un druv drehm, quod yu habte habt unte id noct. Quo yu ste tolkend est tem – tem balstohmt-ye antiquarisk !” Is ne me hieb aiw aure tolke it, ed ioswo khiss unte id sam instant blixoku samt scham ed dekhschat od id isu, quod io strohl do iom, eet ghenden ex eys wi armuria – od io taiper lohnc ei in srakut forme swomambhs qua io hieb iom waurmen-ye aurt wehkwe. Is oispruv to instantan-ye, ed is bihsit fauran still. Io spohc iom samt paur in id kerd ed vis iom pallasce terrible-ye. Pos un longo gwaur pause dehsit is nov aydsmo do id vatra ed sieyg sakwn-ye : “Yu druve-ye saycte prabh, Sinclair. Ste un intelligent karl. Niem vos kwehndihes id antiquarisk khalt.” Is bahsit baygh rahat-ye, bet io sua-ieur id gvol ex id veurnen. Quo hieb io kwohrn ? Eem prosch dakrus, volcskwim kerdwarm-ye kyom, budskwim iom kem indulges, swekwehre iom de mien liubh, mien tender schakiria. Emovant werds mi enfiell – bet io khiek sayge ia. Io nalyohg, vis do id ogwn ed tieyc. Ed isschi tieyc, ed it lyohg wey, ed id ogwn parieydh ed komsohnk, ed samt ielg zableigend flamme khiss io semject bell ed intim se forgluhe ed forplukes, quod khiek regwehme.
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“Baym yu miscomprehendte me”, viieyim io baygh waurgen ed med siuk, braungh voc. Ia stupid, bawlawa werds gwohmeer kam mecanic-ye uper mien lipps, kamsei io lis ex un feuylton. “Vos alnos suacomprehendo”, iey Pistorius ye khafi voc. « Yughi saycte prabh. » Is oiskohpt. Dind is nabahsit lent-ye : « Wawod un mensc ghehdt sayge prabh hatta contra alter.” No, no, buit kalt in me, ago prabh ! – bet io khiek sayge ject. Io wois od med mien wahid lytil werd hiebim pfohrst eys essentialo sliebe, eys naudh ed vurnos. Io hieb touchen id point quer is dohlg mistruses seswo. Eys ideal eet “antiquarisk”, is eet un retro-sokar, is eet un romantic. Ed stayg io khiss profund-ye : chiowdeo quo Pistorius mi hieb esen ed dahn, to khiek is sibswo ses ni dahe. Is me hieb duct unte un wegh, quos isschi, is duc, dohlg udgwahe ed linkwes. Div gnoht, quosmed gnaht un solg werd ! Io ne hieb iskwt khitert, ne hieb aumen un catastrophe. Io hieb swohrt semjecto de quod ye id instant ios swehrmen ioswo wois neid, io hieb cedden uni smulk, lyt akstraum, lyt peigher enfall, ed hiebit bihno meinyun. Io hieb committen uno smulk, aunkauro khalazat, ed pro iom hiebit bihn un tribunal. O kam maung ho io mi tun vanschen, is habiet maghen grasbanasce, is habiet maghen alege, is habiet maghen mi crie ! Is kwohr neid ex to, dohlgim kwehre to hol eni meswo. Is habiet smiht sei is habiet ghohdt. Od is khiek to me suavidih kam maung io hieb hihn iom. Ed acceptend-ye tem rhayr jahar id cutt ab me, eys honar ed bojincheng almen, sweighend-ye ed kwehrnd-ye kamsei io sieyg prabh, recogneihnd-ye mien werd ka meinyun, Pistorius me hainih meswo, kwohr mien bochenglia mils meger. Kun io plieg, io hieb hihskwn uno nert ed suadefenden – taiper buit un still, toleranto mensc, un aundefense qui jiauschiousit taycend-ye. Diu nalyohg wey ant id gluhnd ogwn, in quod ielg reudhernd figure, ielg vreinkend aschuradel me mehmih noroct, bell, riche hors ed eetiteumt mien skeulos dia Pistorius. Io neti vitohl to. Stahsim ub ed likwim. Diu stahsim ant eys dwer, diu in id temost nardban, dar exo diu skehptend ant id dom kad is gwehmiet ed apterghangiet me. Tun io nagwahsim ed drahsim unte hors per urb ed suburbs, park ed forest, tiel id vesper. Ed tun spruv io ye id prest ker id signe os Cain ep mien chol. Tik tadrijan gwohm io ad reflecte. Mien quant brens iskweer accuse me ed defende Pistorius. Ed quanta enseer med id contrar. Mils buim io parat ad
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pischmane ed oistrage mien brusk werd – bet to hieb esen druve. Bad nun io kekamyieb comprehende Pistorius ed mi kipes eys hol drehm. Tod drehm hieb esto ses pryster, proclame id nov religion, dahe nov formes om exaltation, liubh ed dyinst, institue nov symbols. Bet to ne eet eys force, ni eys bungos. Is kung pior warm-ye in id esont, is gnohsit pior-ye precis-ye id ancian, is gnohsit pior baygh de Misr, de Hind, de Mithras, de Abraxas. Eyso liubh eet bohnden ad kwiters qua id Ardh hieb ja viden, ed ob to is suagnohsit intimst-ye od id nov dohlg ses nov ed different, od id dohlg gwehle ex frescho swol ed ne ses hausen ex collections ed bibliotheques. Kad eys bungos eet hehlpe ad duce menscens ad seswo, kam is hieb kwohrn con me. Im dahe id ajib, i nov Divs, ne eet eys bungos. Ed her me ieydh stayg kam un ak flamme id rekehgnen : - eet pro ielg un “bungos”, bet pro nimen oin quod elswo poiss chuses, delimite ni kamlibt waldhe. Eet ghaw iskwes nov Divs, eet alnos ghawo dahskwe quodgvonc ei mund ! Eet neid, neid dohlg pro probudt menscens ploisko to : paurske seswo, bihe darm in se, khisses perodh sien wi itner, querkwe id duxit. To me tariegh profund-ye ed to buit id fruit tos gwivmen pro me. Ops hieb io liken con images ios future, io hieb sohgnen de rols qua mi ghehdient ses assignet, ka poet maghses au ka prophet, au ka pictor, au quodquid. To hol eet neid. Ne eem ter kay scribe poesis, kay preche, kay pinges, neter ego ni alyis mensc eet ter pro to. To hol eet tik fuschwian. Ver vocation pro ielg eet tik oin : gwehme do seswo. El miegh finihes ka poet au ka foll, ka prophet au ka criminal – to ne eet els kaur, ya to eet final-ye aun ahammiyat. Els kaur eet trehve sien wi meinyun, ne quodlibt, ed pargwive id in se, alnos ed aun interruption. Ceter eet pwolmeid, eet peiten os oiskape, eet adaptation ed paur dia id wi inner. Dekhschatic ed iser prohp id nov image ant me, centens aumen, kad ops-ye ja swohren, yed bad taiper gwiven. Eem un kumar ios Nature, un kumar kyid incognitum, maghses kye nov, maghses kye neid, ed sines age tod kumar ex id ordube, khisses ids vol in me ed kwehre alnos mienum id, to hol eet mien vocation. Tik to ! Maung khalwa hieb io ja gust. Taiper ieum io od eet sem deuber, ed od id eet neskapim. Io ne pit reconcilye Pistorius. Wey remien prients, bet id samband eet alteret. Tik oins bahsam de, we exacter-ye is ge bahsit de. Is sieyg : “Ho id vansch os bihe pryster, to woid yu. Volim gairnst bihe pryster ios nov religion, de qua hams tant dayis. Naiwo ghehdsiem ses to – woidim ed woisim to, aun mi itirafe to alnos, ja diutos. Just tyeicsiem alya sakerdotdyinsta, maghses med id orghen, maghses als. Bet tehrbo semper ses perambht ab semject quod kwahm bell ed iser, orghenmusic ed mysteir, symbol ed mythos, tehrbo to ed ne linkwskwo to. – To est mien sliebe. Woidim ghi yando, Sinclair, woidim tid-ye od ne tehrbiem
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habe solg vanscha, od sont luxe ed sliebe. Esiet meger, esiet prabher, sei esiem alnos mier-ye behandil ei meinyun, aun mutalbas. Bet khako to; to est id oin ject quod khako. Kad yu ge ghehdte to. Est difficil, est id saul difficultat quod est, mien pwarn. Ho ops drohmen de, bet khako, to me kreuseiht : khako stahe tem alnos nogw ed mon, ioschi som un orm, slab kwaun, qui want sem wierme ed fodder ed waurmen-ye kamiet spruves id prokwitat sienen egals. Quel volt druve-ye neid alyo quem sien meinyun, tel neti hat egals, el staht alnos mon ed hat tik id srig mundenrewos ambh se. Woid yu, it est Jesus in Gatschmanei Garden. Ter buir martyrs, qui se hant gairn sisen crucificte, bet ne eent heroys, ne eent lurt, ischi voleer semject quod im eet lieubhmen ed familiar, i hieb models, i hieb ideals. Quel dar tik volt id meinyun, quel hat neter models ni ideals, neid kyar, neid tassallisant hat el ! Ed tod itner dehlgiet druve-ye ses kwohrt. Leuds kam yu ed ego sont albatta mon, bet wey hams yed mutu, hams id secret satisfaction os ses different, os pamrlane, os vole id rhayr adic. Toschi dehlct gugehre, sei anghen kwehrskwt alnos id itner. El ne tehrpt vole ses neschi revolutionar, ne exempel, ne martyr. To ne est exmehntu –« No, to ne eet exmehntu. Bet to eet ad drehme, ad anticipe, ad aume. Semkers khiss io sem ex to quan io trohv un alnos-ye still hor. Tun spohc io do me ed vis mieno meinyunskwiter in ia ghyanta starnd okwi. Ia ghohd ses plena med mensdeh, ia ghohd ses plena med follia, ia ghohd strehle liubh we profund peighert, to eet egal. Neid ex to poissit ses chusen, neid poissit ses volen. Anghen poiss vole tik se, tik sieno meinyun. Ter mi hiebit Pistorius unte un hol strohca daughen ka duc. Unte cia diens ambhdrahsim io kam blind, storm kwistel in me, ielg stieup eet danger. Io vis neid ploisko id aungrundic temos ant me, quetro vasya itners tuntro lelit ed sesohnk. Ed eni me vis io id kwiter ios duc, quod kwohkit kam Demian ed in quos okwi wohs mieno meinyun. Scripsim ep un papier : “Un duc me hat likwn. Stahm alnos in id deusk. Khako kwehre mon un stieup. Hehlp me !” Yisskwim tod ad Demian. Yed io abstohm; to kwohk zowngschie, sei to kwehrskwiem, magvisk ed bawlaw. Bet gnohsim id lytil prehgen esber ed bahsim id ops eni me. Id me hamrahsit ye cada saat. Io biieum quod est prehgen. Mien scoltid eet khatem. Tehrbiem kwehre un feria-safer, mien pater hieb exmohnen, dind gwahe universitat. Qualg facultat ne woisim. Oin semester philosophia mi eet ijaben. Me habiem contenten kathalika med ceter.

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Potnia Eva Unte ia ferias ghieng io oins do id dom, in quod yars prever Max Demian hieb wicto con sienu mater. Un anua spasserit in id garden, wohkwim iam ed math od id dom bieygh iam. Io sprohg iam de id familia Demian. Ia suamohm i. Yed ia ne wois quer i taiper wik. Dat ia khiss mien interesse, me entrihisit id dom, exvien un lietern album ed mi dik un photographia ias mater Demians. Io payn ghohd mehme iam. Bet kun io tun vis id smulk portrait, mien kerdo zabiet. – eet mien drehmkwiter ! Eet ia, ia buland, quasi ner gwenfigure, samlik sieni son, samt traits os matruwia, traits os strehnge, traits os profund passion, bell ed attractive, bell ed neproschgwahim, demon ed mater, meinyun ed liubht. To eet ia ! Buim kam tohrn ab un wildo daumos kun io math od mien drehmkwiter gwivit ep Ardh ! Eet un gwen qua kwohkit katha, qua bohr ia traits mienios meinyun ! Quer eet ia ? Quer ? – Ed ia eet Demians mater. Lyt poskwo io inkiep mien safer. Un stragno safer ! Gwahsim aunrahat ex loc do loc, sekwent cada enfall, semper paurskend tam gwen. Buir diens kun incontrim much gastalts qui mehmihr iam, qui swohn kam ia, qui kwohkeer kam ia, qui me attraxeer unte gatvas alienen urbs, per stations, do trains, kam in implohcen drehms. Buir alya diens kun bedyohrcim kam inutil mien sohkw eet; tun sess io inactive quergvonc in un park, in un hotelgarden, in un skehptkyal ed spohc eni me ed pit gwinwes id kwiter in me. Bet id hieb taiper bihn timid ed fugav. Naiwo ghohd io swehpe, ploisko unte trainsafers per negnoht landspects nuk io ghom unte horquardels. Oins, in Zurich, aptergwahsit me un gwen, un jamile, lyt insolent dame. Io vis iam payn ed nagwahsim kamsei ia esiet air. Habiem milen mehre strax anter quem dahe hatta oin hor attention alyi gwen. Io spruv od mieno meinyuno me attraxit, io spruv od id riawdals eet prosch, ed io stiemp ob khake kwehre ject pro. Oins in un station, credeihm, eet in Innsbruck, vis io in un abwehghend train un enokwum quod me mehmih iam ed buim biedan unte diens. Ed stayg mi prohp id enokw iter nocts in un drehm, io gohr samt un aygven ed trist khisses de id bawliewe os mien sayd ed wohgh seid-ye tsay dom. Oik hevds serter me inscripsim ei Universitat H. Quanto me decepsit. Ia darsa de historia ed philosophia qua io ieur eet tem aunsubstance ed fabriquen quem ia activitats iom studyent yuwens. Quant eet tem yeji id schablon, uter kwohr kam alter, ed id exaggeren vesselt ep ia pwarnisk liges kwohk tem yuieihnd-ye tuich ed uperkmeht ! Bet eem leur, io hieb mien hol dien pro me, wik still ed bell-ye in un veut bouwen ant id urb ed oik jasamats os Nietzsche lyohg ep mien table. Con iom gwivim, khiss id khalwa os eys atmen, kwahsim id meinyun quod eeact
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iom, payssim con iom ed eem sahide ob hieb est oin qui hieb kwohrt tem inexorable-ye sien itner. Sert in id vesper io ravien oins unte id urb, in id wehnd osyernwind, ed ieur sehngve ex ia tavernes ia studyentassociations. Ex ghyanen fensters exdriv tabakdum ed in teug flutt id gasohngvos, honar ed stip, yed auninspiration ed uniform-ye aungwit. Stahsim ep un stradwangwl ed klu, ex dwo knayps cliengh id punctual-ye bugen vesselt ios yuwent in id noct. Quantloc-ye communion, quantloc-ye comhocken, quantloc oisklad ios meinyun ed fug do warm vatraprokwitat ! Apter me prighieng dwo wirs lent-ye. Io ieur oin schtuk ex ir conversation. « Ne est id exact-ye kam id yuwendom in un negro village ?” iey uter. “Quant est lik, hatta id tatou est dar alamode. Vidte yu, to est id yun Europe. » Id stohm mi swohn stragn-ye maunend – gnoht. Io apterghieng ambo unte id deusko gatva. Uter eet un Japanese, smulk ed elegant, visim sub un lanterne eyso gehlb smeihnd lige kwitres. Tun retolkit alter. “Nun, neschi sessiet dohbrer bi vos in Japan. I leuds qui ne apterdrahnt id churd sont quantloc rar. Herschi sont sems. » Ielg werd me penetrit samt joyeus dekhschat. Gnohsim iom bahtor. Eet Demian. In id windic noct sohkwim iom ed iom Japanese unte ia deuska gatvas, klusim ir conversation ed brug id swon os Demians voc. Id hieb id veut ton, id hieb id veut, bell securitat ed sakwnia, ed id hieb id waldh uper me. Taiper eet quant gohd. Io hieb trohven iom. Ye id end os un suburban strad sriens is Japanese ed andiem sien dwodwer. Demian abgir, io hieb vistahn ed skohpt iom medsu id strad. Samt kerdbats io vis iom gwehme kyant me, rect ed elastic, in un brun seuyjaquet, un teun gazd hangend ud eys brakh. Is gwohm aun modifie sien regular kadam, tiel claus me, oisghensit sien hat ed mi dik sien veut kweiter lige samt id gwaukan stohm ed id particularo clartat siens weur chol. « Demian ! » kiel io. Is rexit sien hand kye me.
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“Also es ter, Sinclair ! Te ho skohpten.” “Wois tu od som her ?” “Ne woisim to exact-ye, bet sigwra to spehsim. Te ho viden ja hoyd vesper, nos has apterghangen unte un long wakt.” “Me has also recogniht ?” “Naturelika. Albatta has changet. Betghi behrs id signe.” “Id signe ? Quod signe ?” “Wey niem id prever id Cainsigne, sei ghehds dar mehme. Est noster signe. Has semper haben id, itak ho bihn tien prient. Bet nun id hat biht meis kweiter. » “Io ne wois to. Autah ya. Ho pigen oins un portrait os te, Demian, ed io stieun od id buit mischi samlik. Eet to id signe ?” “To eet. Sell od es nun ter ! Mienschi mater ghawdsiet. Buim dekhschaten. “Tien mater ? Est ia her ? Neghi me gnoht.” “Oh, ia woid de te. Ia te recogneihsiet, hatta aun ay saygo quis es. – Diutos has tu ne kleuiht de te. » « Oh, scripskwim ops, bet to ne lit. Pon sem wakt ho io spruven od io dohlg retrehve te mox. Ho skohpt cadadien.” Is dehsit sien brakh ambh id mien ed naghiengit con me. Rahat emanit ex iom do me. Wey mox bielbel kam prever. Wey mem id scoltid, id confirmationstalim, hatta cid biedan comses prevst unte ia ferias – tik ne buir udwekwnen id prevst ed anghsto diemen inter nos, ni id storia con Franz Kromer. Ittifak-ye wohs wey medsu stragn ed omineus conversations. Wey hieb, yeji cid khwaytanshienciu Demians con iom Japanese, tolken de id studyentgwit ed tetos hieb wey gwohmto do alyo quod kwohk ses dalg ud to; yed in Demians werds eet to bohndto med un intim sibia. Is tolkit de id spirit os Europe ed de id signature tos zaman. Quantloc, iey is, wieldh cohesion ed churdkwehren, bet neidloc lure ed liubh. Ta quant communions, ex ia studyentunions ed id sehngvassociation tiel ia Stats eent

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deforce constructions, eent communitats ob paur, dekhschat, embarasse, eent saup eni ed veut ed prosch ir collapse. « Communion », iey Demian, « est un bell ject. Bet quo vidmos blehse quantloc ne sont oin. Id regnahsiet ex id mutugnohsa im individus, ed reformesiet id mund unte un khvil. Quo nun est communion est tik churdkwehren. Mensci feuge ad mutu ob baynt mutu – i maysters pro se, i orbaters pro se, i alims pro se ! Ed ma baynt i ? Anghen bayt tik sei anghen est oin con se. Baynt ob hant naiwo bignoht seswo. Un communion muchen menscen qui baynt id incognitum in seswo ! Quanti kheisse od ir gwitloys neti wehrge, od gwivent sekwent veut prabhils, neter ir religion ni ir mores, neid ex ia est ciautaung ad quo wanmos. Unte cent ed meis yars hat Europe tik studyet ed struct fabrics. Woideer exact-ye quayt grammes pyrot sont naudht kay nices un mensc, bet ne woideer kam Div biht gvohden, ne hatta woideer kam ses masrour unte oin hor. Spehc ghi oins un studyentknayp ! Au hatta un zalissloc quetro gwaht riche leuds ! Desperat ! – Kyar Sinclair, ex to hol khact gwehme neid kweiter. Ti mensci qui smyehre tem anxieus-ye, sont pleni med paur ed pleni med peighert, nel treust mutu. Dependent ideals qua neti sont oin, ed rajment quel instituet un nov. Spreuvo sont conflicts. Gwehmsient, credeih me, mox gwehmsient ! Naturelika nient « kayjine » id mund. Kweter orbaters gvehne ir besens we Russia ed Deutschland strehle ep mutu, tik suters sessient changen. Bet to niet ses in vain. To demonstresiet id aunwirtia iom hoydic ideals, sessiet un puwen protie petraiwo divs. Tod mund, kam id est nun, siet gugehre, id siet.” “Ed quod bihsiemos ?” sprohg io. “Wey ? Oh, kadschi gugehrsiemos. Oinschi ex nos ghehdt ses gvohnen. Bet to ne stopsiet nos. Quo etileikwsiet ex nos we qui ex nos survivesiemos formsiet id vol ios future. Prehpsiet id vol os menscgenos, tod vol quod nies Europe hat upercriet unte un tid med sien yarmerc om technique ed science. Ed tun obkwehcsiet od id vol os menscgenos est naiw ed neidloc egal ibs hoydic societats, ibs stats ed folks, ibs associations ed kyrks. Sontern to, quo id Nature volt del mensc, wehst script in el individu, in te ed me. Wohs in Jesus, wohs in Nietzsche. Pro ta seni important strohms – qua naturelika ghehde kwehke cadadien different, sessiet rewos quan ia hoydic societats collapsient.” Sert hielt wey ant un garden ana id sreumen. “Her weikmos”, iey Demian. “Gwehm mox bi nos ! Meg te intizarmos.” Joyplen kwohr io in id khuldascus noct mien long itner dom. Her ed ter bloskeer ed vienkeer gwirlayndi studyents unte id urb. Ops hieb io kwanh id antagonisme inter ir comic manier os vesselt ed mieno mon gwit, ops-ye samt un khisses
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antbehren, ops-ye samt honn. Bet naiweti kam hoyd-ye hieb io khissen med rahat ed secret force kam pau me betak, kam dalg ed vanien tod mund eet pro me. Io mohm kwehrants ios urb miens pater, veut, olgh potis, quoy se attacheer ibs mehmens de ir knaypwent semesters kam ei bren de un sell paradays ed quoy yiezg id swohnden « lure » iren studyentyars, kam sonst poets au alyi romantics yazge id miegve. Quantloc id sam ! Quantloc pieursk ies id “lure”, ed id “noroc”, querquid apter se, ob mer paur, ies ghohd mehmihes ir wi massoulia ed ses maunti de ir wi itner. Eet supen ed youbeln unte oika yars, dind eet repen ender ed bihn un serieus poti in id stat service. Ya, eet faul, faul bi nos, ed tod studyent stupiditat eet minter cacavan ed minter khako quem cent alya. Yed kun io hieb arriven do mien apank apartment ed pieursk mien crovat, ta quant brens se hieb forpluken, ed mien hol ment intizier id megil promiss quod tod dieno mi hieb dahn. Yant voliem, ja cras, vidiem Demians mater. Miegh ies studyents linkwes ir knayps ed tatoue ir liges, miegh id mund ses faul ed skehpte sien gughehren – quod me betak ! Io intizier wahid-ye ke mieno meinyuno me incontrih un nov kwiter. Swohpim profund-ye tiel sert in id aghyern. Id nov dien prohpit pro me kam un dien os fest, kam io hieb naiweti gwiwt pon ia natalferias miens pwarntid. Eem pleno med innerst rhayr-rahat, lakin aun quodgvonc paur. Io khiss od un importanto dien hieb inkapen pro me, io vis ed kwahsim id mund ambh me transformen, intizaric, maynenwent ed festlik, idschi mliak-ye fallend osyernseuy eet bell, still ed bayram-ye pleno med serieusvessel music. Ye id prest ker swohn id uder mund in harmonia con mien inner – tun est festdien ios atmen, tun valt gwive. Neid dom, neid vetrin, neid lige ep id gatva me sturb, quant eet kam id tohrb ses, bet ne bohr id tuich lige ios cadadien ed adic, sontern eet intizarndo Nature, pristahsit yazgos-ye pro id meinyun. It hieb io vis ka smulk pwarn id mund ye id aghyern iom megil festdiens, ye Natal ed Pask. Io ne hieb woiden od tod mund ghohdit dar ses tem bell. Io hieb viswohden gwive eni me ed accepte od mi id sense dia id exo hieb gughohrn, od id leus iom lamper colors nevergible-ye depens id leus os miegve, ed od ye un certaino meid id lure ed neroti ios atmen dohlg ses kwiht med id tyehgven dia tod graciu schimmer. Taiper vis io enchantet od to hol hieb esto tik begrabhen ed dusken ed od eet possible, kaschi leurascus ed magvnoroctyehgvus vide id mundo twises ed guses ia inwort kreusa ios magvlik vision. Gwohm id saat kun io retrohv id suburban garden prokwem quod yarlay io hieb sranst Max Demian. Apter hog, seuygreis drus oiskeulkend stahsit un liew, gwayder ed comfortable, hog florarbusta apter un buland stikelmur, apter blank fensters deusk tabiques samt kwiters ed bukroigs. Id domdwer duxit direct-ye do uno smulk chals hall, una niem veut slouga, aydokwa, samt albh mandile, me introduxit ed oisduit mieno mantel.
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Ia me likwit mon in id hall. Io ambhvis ed fauran buim io medsu mien drehm. Uber ep id deusk dreumur, uper un dwer, hieng sub glas in un swordo fraum un suagnoht kwiter, mien av samt id kenek dogancap, quel surrexit ex id mundkiaut. Emot io nastahsim – mien kerd aghnuit tem vessel, kamsei me reikiet ye tod instant quanto io hieb aiwo kwohrn ed gwiven, ka antwehrd ed riawdals. Blixoku vis io uno menegh om kwiters drahe pri mien atmen; id paterhem samt id veut petravapwn uper id aneta, iom pwarn Demian, qui riss id vapwn, meswo ka pwarn, paurplen implohct do id fangh os mien peind Kromer, meswo ka yuwen, in mieno smulko scolerkamer claus id still table pingend-ye el av mienios nostalgia, id atmen confuden do id net idsen wi viels – ed quant, quanto tiel tod instant reswohn in me, buit yahn, antwohrden, approben in me. Med madhen okwi stier io ad mien kwiter ed lis in meswo. Tun sohnkit ghom mien spect : sub id avkwiter in id ghyanen dwer stahsit un buland gwen in deusk povesti. Eet ia. Io khiek sayge un werd. Ex un lige, quod eet lik tei os ays son aun tid ni oumer ed pleno med animet vol mi smih ia bell honorable potnia maedwn-ye. Ayso spect eet riawdals, ays namos mieyn gwirlay. Sweighend rexim mien hands kyam. Ia lambhit bo med darm, warm hands. “Ste Sinclair. Vos ho recogniht. Ste sellgwohmen !” Ays voc eet deub ed warm, io drohnk id kam swadh vin. Ed taiper spohc io iam ed ayso stillo lige, ia sword aunbudmen okwi, id fresch matur stohm, id leur, preustlik chol quod bohr id signe. “Kam masrour io som !” ieyim io ay ed kuss ays hands. “Credeihm esus untitner mien hol gwit – ed nun gwirlaye.” Ia smih matruw-ye. “Est naiwo gwirlayt”, ieyit ia maedwn-ye. “Bet quer beprient itners concurre, ter kwehct id hol mund unte un hor kam hem.” Ia wohkwit quo io hieb khisst untitner kyam. Ays voc ed ayschi werds eent baygh samlik tibs os ays son, yed baygh different. Quant eet maturer, warmer, meis swoevident. Bet tem quem Max tids prever hieb kwohrt id pondos uns pwarn ad nimen, tem quem kwohk eys mater nel-ye kam ia mater uns balirh son, tem yun ed swadh eet id nuance ep ays lige ed kays, tem rigid ed aunraug eet ays golden cuit, tem blehsend id stohm. Dar-ye royaler quem in mien drehms oistahsit ia ant me, ed iro prokwitat eet liubhnoroc, ir spect eet riawdals.

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Tod also buit id nov kwiter quosmed mieno meinyun se dik mi, neti strehng, neti isolant, no, matur ed khauris ! Emsim nia gwaukanias, ne wohgvim – io hieb arriven uni ziel, uni hog weghpoint, quetos id na-itner se dik wayt ed superbe, strehcend kye lands ios sponden, uperskadhen ab drughebels prokwes noroc, khulden ab prokwem gardens quoskwe wehnos. Miegh dehbhe me kamlibt, eem sahide os gnohe tam gwen scheischaung, os drehnke ays voc ed os annmes ays prokwitat. Miegh ia bihe mi mater, liubhen, diva – tando ia eet ter ! tando mien itner eet prokwem ays ! Ia pfohrst ub mien dogankwiter. “Yu habte daht niesi Max naiw un meger joy quem con tod pineg », ieyit ia pensive. “Ed mischi. Vos hams intizart, ed kun id kwiter gwohm, tun wey wois od yu eete untitner kye nos. Kun yu eete un lytil pwarn, Sinclair, tun gwirliey sem dien mien son ex id scol ed sieyg : Est un pwarn qui hat id signe ep sien chol, qui dehlct bihe mien prient. Eete yu. To ne vos buit facil, bet wey hams trusen vos. Oins habte yu iter ghat Max, kun yu eete in ferias domi. Yu eete tun edvas sixdemat. Max mi hieb lohct –“ Io interrup : “Oh, is vos hat sayct to ! Tun buit mien miserst tid !” “Ya, Max mi sieyg : Nun hat Sinclair id difficilst ant se. Is peit iter oins fuges do id communitat, is hat hatta bihn un liturafik; bet is niet kamyabe. Eys signe est kohldert, bet id preust iom rahas-ye. Ne eet to it ?” “O ya, it eet, exact-ye it. Tun trohv io Beatrice ed tun gwohm bad un duc ad me. Eys nam est Pistorius. Bad tun mi bihsit clar, ma mien pwarntid est tem bohnden ad Max, ma io khiek abdehe iom ud me. Kyar potnia – kyar mater, ho ops credihn prevst io dohlg suicide. Kwe est id itner pro ielg tem difficil ?” Ia bruk med sien hando mien kays, legvo kam air. “Est semper difficil gnahe. Yu woid, al av est difficil gwehme ex id oiv. Remehnte ed sprehcte : eet id itner tem difficil ? tik difficil ? Ne eet id yaschi bell ? Habiete yu sagvt un beller, un meis facil ?” Io scuss mien cap. « Buit difficil », ieyim io kam in swehpen, « buit difficil hin id drehm gwohm. » Ia nuk ed me spohc penetrant-ye.

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“Ya, anghen dehlct trehve sien drehm, dind biht id itner difficil. Bet ne est aiwodurant drehm, un nover tayt cada, ed anghen ne poitt protiedarskwe oin.” Buim profund-ye dekhschat. Eet to ja un warnen ? Eet to ja defense ? Bet eem zowngschie parat ad me sines duce ab iam ed ad ne sprehge de id ziel. “Ne woidim”, ieyim io, “kamdiu siet dure mien drehm. Vanscho id esiet abadic. Sub id kwiter al av me hat primen mien meinyun, kam un mater, ed kam un liubht. Id ge ed sonst nimen baygho. » « Tando vies drehm est vies meinyun, tando yu ei remansiete derv », constatit ia serieus-ye. Un aytan lambhit me, tem quem id ardent vansch os mehre unte tod enchantet hor. Io khiss mien dakrus – kam aunfin-ye diu hieb io neti plangen ! – gigwehle ub in me ed uperwaldhe me. Vehement-ye abvols io ud iam, stiup kyid fenster ed glaz wayt med blind okwi trans ia potflors. Apter me ieur io ays voc, id swohn serene yed eet tem pleno med tenderesse quem un bicair peripehldus med vin. “Sinclair, yu ste un magv ! Vies ghi meinyun vos lieubht. Oins id vos bayghsiet alnos, tem quem yu drehmte id, sei yu remante derv. » Io mi hieb dwight wehrte iter mien lige kyam. Ia mi dahsit sien hand. « Ho oik prients », ieyit ia smeihnd, « oik pauks, meg nityens prients, qui mi sayge Potnia Eva. Itschi yu maghte me kale, sei yu volte. » Ia duxit ei dwer, ghyien ed pfohrst id garden. “Yu trehfsiete Max ter exo.” Sub ia bulanda drus stahsim io abstauniht ed taraght, protiebudter au meis drehmend quem aiwo, io ne woiss. Mliak-ye ghutt id seuy ex ia urads. Io ghieng lent-ye do id garden, quod oistrohc dalg engwn id sreumenouper. Io bad-ye trohv Demian. Is oistahsit in un ouvert gardenliew baretorso ed kwohr boxtadribes ant un hangen ub sandouter. Stauniht nastahsim. Demian kwohk schungjin, id weur xiongbu, id darm, ner cap, ia lift brakhs samt stift muscles eent nert ed efficient, ia tadribes surrexeer ex hanks, omsa ed brakhapsa kam leikend surces. “Demian !” kiel io. “Quod tar acs tu ?”

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Is oismih vessel-ye. “Io trainire. Ho promitten ei smulk Japanese un ringkatu, is karl est agil kam un cat ed naturelika tem drughav. Bet is neti uperwehnde me. Ei deulgo un meg lytil humiliation.” Is reduit camiss ed redingote. “Ees ja bi mien mater ?” sprohg is. “Ya, Demian, quod un schungjin mater tu has ! Potnia Eva ! Id nam dehbht iam perfect-ye, ia est kam ia Mater Peltewih.” Unte un instant is oispohc pensive-ye mien lige. « Woidsta ja id nam ? Tu poitts ses mynder, pwarn ! Es is prest quei ia hat sayct id ja ye id prest saat. » Ab tod dien eegwahneum in ed ex id dom kam un son ed brater, betschi kam un lieubher. Quando io clus id dwer apter me, jaghi quando io vis dalgtos ia bulanda drus ios garden prehpe, eem io riche ed noroct. Exo eet id “realitat”, exo eent strads ed doms, mensci ed institutions, bibliotheques ed darskyals – herkye eni eet liubh ed atmen, her gwivit id basm ed id drehm. Yed gwivam nel-ye isolet ud id mund, gwivam in brens ed conversations ops medsu id, tik ep alyo camp, eemos separet ud id majoritat im menscen ne med grances, sontern tik med alyo manier os vide. Noster opos eet represente un insule in id mund, maghses uno model, in quant fall bariem id mehlden alyios possibilitat os gwive. Bignohsim, ego diu isoleit, id communitat quod est possible inter menscens qui hant gusen total khalwa. Naiweti desirim rikes ia mejas im norocts, ia fests im joyeusen, naiweti pripluk me hassadia au nostalgia quando io vis id collectivitat altern. Ed lent-ye buim inityet ei secreto tim qui bohr « id signe » ep se. Wey, ti samt id signe, miegh ieus-ye ghehlde ei mund ka stragni, ya ka foll ed dangereus. Eems budts, au beuders, ed nies effort lit kyun semper perfecter beuden, menxu id effort ed norocpaursk altern lit kye behnde ir mayns, ir ideals ed dohlgs, ir gwit ed ir noroc semper angher ei churd. Terschi eet effort, terschi eet gwis ed megdos. Bet menxu, sekwent nies vidpoint, wey signeits representam id vol ios nature ei nov, ei individual ed ei futur, gwiveer alters in un vol os perseverance. Pro i eet id menscgenos – yod i liubh kam wey – semjecto complete, quod dohlg ses preserven ed protegen. Pro nos eet id menscgenos un piern future, kye yod wey quanti eems untitner, quos image nimen gnohsit, quos loys eent scriben neidloc.

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Apart Potnia Eva, Max ed me, baygheer noster circule, prokwtos au dalgtos, dar pelu paurskers om meg different sortes. Pelus ex nos gwahr unte special paunds, sib hiebeer pagen separet ziels ed depenseer special mayns ed dohlgs, bayna i eent astrologs, mukabbals, unschi partisan os Graf Tolstoi, ed vasyalg delicate, timid, vulnerable leuds, dyindars noven sectes, empraxisants om hindi exercices, vegetarians ed alyi. Con ti quantens hieb weysmee neid spiritual in commun ploisko id respecto quod ielg ijieb ei secret gwitsdrehm es mutu. Alyi nos eent prokwer, yi persohkw id paursk ios menscgenos po Divs ed nov vanschkwiters in id prev ed quim studyes me mehmihr ops ta miens Pistorius. I brigh buks con se, nos tarj textes veuten bahsas, nos dixeer kips veuten symbols ed rites ed nos doxeer vide kam id hol iom ideals ios menscgenos tuntro consisteer drehms ios inconscient, drehms, in qua id menscgenos pieursk fortastend-ye ia aums sienen futurepossibilitats. It passam wey ex i daumost, gheslocap divitats ios veut mundios tiel id ausken ios christian reik. Ia confessions im mon zakirs nos bihr gnoht, ed ia changes iom religions ex folk do folk. Ed ex quanto wey siemmel sielg id critique nosters tid ed ios nunic Europe, quod per enorm efforts hieb creet nov armes ei menscgenos, bet hieb vipohden do un profund ed fin-ye scriendo spiritverstep. Idghi hieb gaissen id hol mund leusend-ye sammel sien atmen. Herschi eent fiders ed dyindars om certain spehs ed furkanslohrs. Eent buddhadharmins qui convertskweer Europe, ed Tolstoi-disciples, ed alya agamas. Wey in id angher circule kluam ed diek neid tom lohrs als quem ka symbols. Nos signeits incubh neid kaur de id formation ios future. Nos kwohk cada agama, cada furkanslohr ja in avance mohrn ed inutil. Ed tik dyeimos ka dohlg ed meinyun : ke ielg ex nos biht alnos elswo, biht tant ieust ei germen ios nature active in el ed gwivt in id vol od id rhayr-yakin future nos trehft parat ad quantum id maghiet bringhes. Toghi – sayct ed nesayct – nos quantims eet clar in khisses od un regnahsa ed un collapse ios taipertid eet prokwem ed ja spreuvim. Demian mi sieyg yando : “Quo gwehmsiet est neexmehmim. Id atmen Europes est un animal quod eewehsneut dieht extreme-ye diu. Quando bihsiet leur, els prest impulses nient ses ia meist khauris. Bet ia itners ed niebitners sont aunahammiyat, sei tik id ver naudh ios atmen gwehmt do luce, quod hat esen tem diutos semper iter leughayn ed anesthesyen. Tun sessiet nies dien, tun sessiemos naudht, ne ka ducs au nov legislators – neti gwivmos ia nov legs –, anter ka voluntars, ka solgs qui sont parat ad hamrahe ed wehse ter quetro meinyun kalt. Vid, vasyi mensci sont parat ad kwehre id incredible quan ir ideals bihnt menacet. Bet nimen est ter quan un nov ideal stundt un nov, maghses dangereus ed non-secret elan ios crosct. I pauks, yi sessient tun ter ed hamrahsient, sessiemos wey. Pro to smos wey signet – kam Cain eet signet ad provoque dekhschat ed haines ed ad pulge id prevstic menscgenos ex un angh idyll do dangereus aykwsa. Vasyi mensci qui hant agen
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ep id druna os menscgenos, vasyi aun dinstinction eent tik kabil ed efficient ob eent meinyunparat. To ghehldt pro Moses ed Buddha, to ghehldt pro Napoleon ed pro Bismarck. Quei movment oin daught, quetos el est direct, to ne est in els cheus. Sei Bismarck habiet fahamt i socialdemocrats ed sohkwt i, tun is habiet est un intelligent poti, bet neis wir ios meinyun. It eet con Napoleon, con Caesar, con Loyola, con quantens ! To dehlct ses mohnen biologic-ye ed evolutionarye ! Kun ia changes ios Ardh surface xubh i wedanimals ep id land, i landanimals do wed, tun buir i meinyunparat exemplars qui parkwohr id nov ed id ajib ed ghohd salve ir genos per nov adaptations. Kweter eent i sam exemplars qui prever kwit in ir genos ka conservatives ed nechangeants, we anter i excentrics ed revolutionars, to ne woidam. Eent parat, ed itak i ghohd salve ir genos per nov evolutions. To woidam. Itak volmos ses parat.” Unte talga conversations eet Potnia Eva ops-ye present, yed iaswo ne tolkit ye tod weidos. Ia eet pro ielg em nos quel expressit sieno men un klutrice ed echo, plena med trust, plena med comprehension, kwohkit kamsei gwohm vasyi brens ex iam ed rik iam retro. Sedde prokwem iam, tid-ye aure ays vos ed smyehre id atmosphere om maturitat ed atmen quod periembh iam eent pro me noroc. Ia khiss fauran quan in me quodgvonc change, trouble au udnoven tyohc. Mi kwohk ia drehms, qua io hieb unte swehpen, kam inspiret ab iam. Ops narrim ia ay, ed ia eent ay comprehensible ed natural, ne eent stragnitats qua ia khiek sehkwe med claro khisses. Unte un tid hieb io drehms qua eent kam perkeipens om nies conversations ios dien. Io drohm od id hol mund eet in ganab ed od ego, mon au con Demian, intizier tension-ye id megil meinyun. Id meinyun remien kohldert, yed bohr semkam ia traits as Potnia Eva – ses elect au reject ab iam, to eet id meinyun. Yando ieyit ia smeihnd-ye : “Vies drehm ne est integher, Sinclair, yu habte myohrst id gohdst –« ed ghohd wakye od id mi iter enfiell ed khiekim ghabe kam io hieb ghohden myehrse tod. Tid-ye bihsim insatisfacen ed aziyaten ab desire. Io credih neti ghehde tehle vide iam nieb me aun ghende iam do mien brakhs. Toschi kieu ia fauran. Kun io mien preter apo unte plur diens dind rik troublen, ia me prim seni ed sieyg : “Yu ne tehrbiete fuschioue ad drehms in qua yu ne credeihte. Woidim quo yu vanschte. Yu dehlcte ghehde tyehgve ta vanscha we vansche ia alnos ed prabhye. Sei yu oins ghehdte budes tem quem ste yakin ios vafat in me, tun todschi vafat est ter. Bet yu vanschte, tun yu pischmante, ed habte paur de to. To hol dehlct ses uperwohnden. Volo vos narre un basmo.” Ed ia lohg mi de un yuwen qui eet enliubhto de un star. Ana id mar stahsit is, strohc sien hands ed implorit id star, is drohm de id ed ei direxim sien brens. Bet
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is wois, we credih woide, od un staro khact ses glaben ab un mensc. Is iey sieno meinyun, liubhes un aster aun speh ni vafat, ed is construxit ex ta brens un hol gwitspoetique om tyehgven ed niem, derv paytten quod tohrb kayjine ed kwitres iom. Bet eys quanta drehms se trohp kyid star. Oins oistahsit is iter nocts ana id mar, ep id hog behrg, ed glaz kyid star ed eet ardent med liubh dia id. Ed unte uno moment os megst nostalgia skans is ed se precipitit do id tuich, kyant id star. Bet ye id moment ios skandios mohn is dar blixoku : toghi est impossible ! Taiper lyohg is niter ep id strand ed eet bohnct. Is fahiemit neid de liubh. Habiet is haben, ye id moment kun is oiskiend, id iser menos os credihes darm-ye ed swekwr-ye in id vafat, is habiet pluct ub ed uniet-se ei star. “Liubh ne dehlct yayce”, ieyit ia, “nischi kupes. Liubh dehlct habe id gwis bihe per seswo un yakinia. Tun id neti biht mot, sontern movt. Sinclair, vies liubh est mot ab me. Sei id oins movt me, tun gwehmsiem. Ne volo dahe hadias, volo bihe algvt. » Bet alyes ia mi lohg alyo basmo. Uno sme lieubher lieubht aun speh. Is oisgwohm alnos do sien atmen ed credih ses ardent ob liubh. Id mund ei eet lusen, is neti vis id azur waurno ni id glend forest, id sprut ei ne susurit, id harf ne ei swohn, quant eet forsohnken, ed is hiebit bihn orm ed miser. Bet eyso liubh crohsc, ed is mil anter mehre ed gughehre quem tyehgve id ghigda dia iam bell gwen is liubh. Tun spruv is kam eyso liubh hieb forbranso ceter in iom, ed id bihsit staur ed ieg ed ieg, ed ia bell gwen dohlg sehkwe, ia gwohm, is oistahsit samt oistrohcen brakhs kay dake iam ad se. Bet kun ia stahsit ant iom, tun eet ia alnos changen, ed tremblend-ye khissit is ed vis is hieb moven ad se id hol forlust mund. Ia stahsit ant iom ed se dahsit ei, waurn ed forest ed sprut, quant gwohm kyant iom in nov colors fresch ed schungjin, bieyghit iom, bahsit eys bahsa. Ed vice algvus just un gvibh, hieb is id hol mund in sien kerd, ed ielg star in id waurn luc in iom ed twis joy per eys atmen. – Is hieb liubht ed it seswo trohft. Bet pleisti lieubhe kay se luses. Mien liubh dia Potnia Eva mi kwohk ses id wahid mathmoun os mien gwit. Bet cadadien kwohk id als. Yando credih io khisses sigwra od mien ses ne eet attract ab ays person, sontern od ia eet just un symbol miens inner ed tik me ducskwit do deuber in me. Ops ieur io werds ud iam, qua mi swohm kam antwehrds miens inconscientios dia aydhend questions qua me tariegh. Tun iter buir moments unte qua io nieb iam ieydh ob sensual wehnos ed kuss objects qua ia hieb touchet. Ed eexeuxeubhent mutu sensual ed insensual liubh, realitat ed symbol. Tun wakyit od io mohn de iam in mien wi kamer, in sakwn intimitat, ed credih khisses ays hand in mien ed ays lipps ep miena. We eem bay, spohc ays lige, bahsit con iam ed ieur ays voc yed ne wois kweter ia eet real we un drehm. Io biieum quosmed un liubh ghohd ses nawaldhen nemerti-ye. Io hieb leisend-ye un buk un nov rekehgnen, ed to eet id sam khisses kam un kuss ab Potnia Eva.
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Ia bruk mien kays ed mi smih med sieno matur, xiaunkiwent wierme, ed io hieb id sam khisses kam quan io hieb kwohrn un progress in meswo. Quantum eet important ed meinyun pro me ghohd eme ays gastalt. Ia ghohd se transforme do cada mienen brens ed cada ex ia do iam. Io hieb haben paur de ia Natal ferias, unte qua eem bi mien parents, ob io credih sollit ses un aziyat gwive dwo hevds piern ud Potnia Eva. Bet to buit neid aziyat, buir schungjin ses domi ed mehne de iam. Kun io hieb riken H, mien io dar unte dwo diens piern ud ays dom kay brunges ta salvtat ed independence ud ayso sensual presence. Io hieb yaschi drehms, in qua mien union con iam vafiet ye nov comparable weidsa. Ia eet uno mar do quod sruim. Ia eet un star, ed ioswo eem kam un star untitner kyam, ed wey trohv mutu ed nos khiss attract ad mutu, commien ed skrit ambh mutu felicitat-ye proaiwo, prosch mutu honar-ye. Tod drehm ay narrim kun iam iter faungmoenim. “Id drehm est bell”, ieyit ia still. “Realiset id !” In aus pirmwer gwohm un dien quod naiwo myemyohrsim. Io stiup do id hall, un fenster wohs ghyant ed un tepid airstrohm kwehlihsit id gwaur xiaunki iom zumbules unte id kyal. Dat eet nimen visu, stigh io id drab ub ad id studyo kamer os Max Demian. Io tip mulayim-ye id dwer ed entrim, aun skehpte un kal, kam io swohd. Id kamer eet temost, ia cortins obtureer. Id dwer kyuno smulk niebkyal wohs ghyant, quer Max hieb installet un chemic laboratorium. Tetos gwohm id gwayder, kwito diewo ios wersol, quod blig trans aglus. Credeihsim od eet nimer ter ed slah oino iom cortins ghyanen. Ter vis io ep un tarima prokwem id cortint fenster Max Demian sedde, hudelt ed stragn-ye changet, ed blixlika me tohr un khisses : to has tu ja oins gwiven ! Eys brakhs hieng aunmov, eys hands ep eys grem, eys lyt perodh-clihto lige samt ghyanen okwi eet aunglanez ed daut, in ia pupills twis mohrt-ye un lytil, lucrum inikas, kam in un schtuk ex glas. Id pallo lige eet sohnct ed aun alyo wekwos quem tod uns immense rigiditat, is kwohkit kam un antique animal mask ep id portal uns temple. Is ne kwohk annmes. Memoria upervohrs me – it, exact-ye it hieb io ja oins viden iom, maung yars pre, kun eem dar un lytil pwarn. It hieb ia okwi starn intro, it hieb ia hands lyohgen nieb mutu, unis muschis hieb wandern uper eys lige. Ed is hieb tun, maghses six yars prever, exact-ye kwohcto tem at ed tem exterwakt, neid raug in eys lige eet hoyd-ye different.

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Lambht ab dekhschat ghieng io silent-ye ex id kamer ed ghom id drab. In id hall trohv io Potnia Eva. Ia eet pall ed kwohk bekmeht, quo ne gnohsim de iam, un skadh pluk per id fenster, id lucro, kwit sol hieb stayg parswohnden. “Eem bi Max”, murmurim oku. “Hat semject wakyen ? Is swehpt, we est forsohnct, ne woidim, ja prever vis io iom oins it.” “Lakin yu ne habte protiebuden iom ?” sprohg ia oku. « No. Is ne me hat aurt. Ho fauran resalgen. Potnia Eva, saycte mi, quod de iom ?” Ia passit sien denwrnt uper sien chol. « Mae bihte beghspace, Sinclair, neid ei wakyet. Is hat oisgwohmt. To niet dure diu.” Ia stahsit ub ed sielg do id garden, quayque just bi-suy. Io spruv io ne tohrb gwehme con. Itak io ghieng hetro tetro in id hall, ensorpsim ia medv xiaunkiwenta zumbules, stier ad mien avkwiter uper id dwer ed ann anxieus-ye id stragno skadho quosmed id dom pohld todegher. Quod eet to ? Quod hieb wakyet ? Potnia Eva gwohmit mox-ye tsay. Seuyghutts hieng ud ays deusko kays. Ia sess ghom in sien stron. Strieke lyohg uper iam. Stiupim prosch iam, me clihsim uper iam ed kuss ia ghutts ex ays kays. Ays okwi eent bleigu ed still, bet ia ghutts mi smohgeer kam dakrus. “Tehrbiem io gwahe vide iom ? » sprohg io murmurend-ye. Ia smih mulayim-ye. “Mae ste un lytil pwarn, Sinclair !” mieun ia jahar, kam kay brehge in seswo un soitos. “Gwahte nun ed regwehmte serter, khako tolke con vos nun.” Abdrahsim ex id dom ed urb wayt kya ghyors, id teun seuy gwohm skeir me, ia aglus iegeer ghom sub gwaru pressem kam ob paur. Niter wehsit payn wind, in id hoge kwohk ses storm, plurs prohp unte instants pall ed lucrum id sol per id stalen aglugreis. Tun driv uper id waurn un slemb gehlb nebh, id tus protiev id greis mur, ed id wind kip unte pauk secundes ex id gehlb ed id azur un kwiter, un gigantesk av quod se wul ex id blou wolga ed med weur ptergplabens forswohnd-se do id
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waurn. Tun bihsit id storm aurim, ed aumber mixen con grandwn rus ghom. Un cort, rhayr-mukhtmel ed terrifiendo stohnter dvohn uper id bichen landspect, mox poskwo transbrohg un solbam, ed ep ia prokwem ghyors uper id brun forest luc pall ed guway id bleid sneigv. Kun io rik smeu ed windblahn pos hors, isswo Demian mi ghyien id dwer. Is me duxit do sien kamer, in id laboratorium ieydh un gasflamme, papier lyohg perambh, is kwohk orbatus. “Sedd ghom”, invitit is, “kad es strak, eet un dekhschatic weter, tengies agus exo. Chay gwehmt mox.” “Semject tyehct hoyd”, inkiep io hesitant-ye, “to khact ses just id oik dusdin.” Is me spohc sokar-ye. “Has tu viden semject ?” “Ya. Unte un moment ho io vis kweiter-ye un kwiter.” « Quod kwiter ? » « Eet un av. » « El dogan ? Eet el ? Tien drehmav ? » « Ya, eet mien dogan. Eet gehlb ed gigantesk ed pluk do id blousword waurn.” Demian ann deub ub. Id dwer buit tipt ab iam veut slougu qua brigh chay. “Serve te, Sinclair, prehgo. – Credeihm ne has viden el av kjiawxieng ?” “Kjiawxieng ? Sont talg jects vis kjiawxieng ?” “Albatta no. El maynt semject. Woidst tu quod ?” “No. Tik kheisso to maynt un convulsion, un meinyun stieup. Credeihm to nos betanct quantens.” Is ghieng streht-ye hetro tetro.
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“Un meinyun steup !” cricit is honar-ye. “Id sam ho io drohmen honoct, ed mien mater hat ghes aumt, ia sieyg id sam. – In mien drehm, io stigh un layter, protiev un drustamm au tor. Kun buim ub, vis io id hol land, eet un mier aykwos con brandend urbs ed villages. Ne magho bad lehge quant, ne quant est mi bad clar.” « Tolcs tu id drehm de teswo ? » sprohg io. « De me ? Naturelika. Nimen drehmt quo ne betanct el. Bet id ne me betanct wahid-ye, saycs prabh. Enderkweito destull precis-ye ia drehms qua deike emotions in mien wi atmen ed alters, baygh rar, in qua id hol menscenmeinyun kweit. Ho haben rar-ye talg drehms, ed neid ex qua ghehdo bahe hat esen un prophetia ni hat bihn druv. Ia skweitens sont tem rhayr-wassic. Bet som sure od ne ho drohmt semject quod betak me mon. Bayghti id drehm alya, prevers qua io hieb ed qua id continuet. Ta drehms sont ex qua, Sinclair, ho aums de qua ja tib bebahsim. Od nies mund est druve-ye faul, to woidam, yed ne esiet un sabab kay prophetie ids gughehren au lik. Bet ho haben pon plur yars drehms, ex qua concludo, we kheisso, we kam tu vols – exghi qua kheisso od id collapse uns veut mund leit proscher. Preter eent meg muzlim, piern aums, bet hant bihn semper meis kweiter ed akster. Ne bad woidim alyo quem od semject megil ed terrible est in druna, quod me concernt. Sinclair, siemos oind gwive to de quod hams ops tolken ! Id mund se udnovsiet. Odet nehc. Neid nov gwehmt aun nehc. – To est terribler quem io hieb mohnt.” Dekhschaten stier io ad iom. “Khacs tu mi lehge id reste tiens drehms ?” bud io timid-ye. Is oiscussit sien cap. « No. » Id dwer ghyahsit ed Potnia Eva gwohm in. “Ter yu seddte com ! Magvi, yu niete bihe yed yui ?” Ia kwohk fresch ed neti strak. Demian smih ay, ia hwohm ad nos kam ia mater ad pauric purts. “Yui ne smos, Mater, habmos just lyt gvaeddskwn tod nov signe. Bet to ne importet. Stayg sessiet quo gwehmskwt ed tunkye manthsiemos quo tehrbmos woide.”

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Bet io hieb un khak pondos ed kun io sriens ed ghieng mon unte id hall, kwahsim id zumbulen xiaunki ulg, fade ed cadaveric. Un skadh hiebit pohden uper nos. Inkap ios fin Io hieb kamyaben poitte mane in H. unte id lientsemester. Vice in id dom eems taiper quasi semper in id garden ana id sreumen. Is Japanese, qui hieb eti alnos lusen id ringkatu, hieb fortrohct, isschi Tolstoi-wir mienk. Demian eegwigeupt un ekw ed eerireidt cadadien. Eem ops mon con eys mater. Tid-ye eedaumo de id enpacia miens gwit. Io hieb tem diu viswohden ses mon ed empraxise tyehgven, me strubhes muschkil-ye con mien aziyats quem ta munts in H. mi ubgwohm kam un drehminsule ep quod io poiss gwive comfortable ed enchantet tik in bell, khauris jects ed khisses. Io ieum to eet i pregusto cios nov, hoger sokwia de quod wey mohn. Ed uper tod noroc me eelamlambhent un profund aytan, io ghi suawois to khiek dure. Ne mi eet script gwive in pohltos ed khauristat, io tohrb aziyat ed chasse. Io khiss : sem dien gehrsiem ex ta bella liubhkwiters ed iter stahsiem mon, alnos mon, in id srig mund altern, quer pro me eet tik khalwa au katu, neid pace, neid comgwiven. Tun hudel io samt double tenderesse in id prokwitat as Potnia Eva, masrour od mieno meinyun eebibehrt ta bell, still traits. Ia lienthevds dohn oku ed legv, id semester vahsit ende. Id asimat eet imminent, io nel-ye miegh mehne de, sontern hieng ud ia bell diens kam un pelpel ud id mieltflor. To hieb esto taiper mien noroctid, id prest riawdals miens gwit ed mien admission do id boidos – quod tar gwehmiet ? Iter jidaliem, kwehndiem nostalgia, habiem drehms, esiem mon. Ye oin tom diens me upergwohm tod prekhisses tem akster quem mien liubh dia Potnia Eva stayg-ye gvol-ye se enflammit. Yallah, kam mox, tun neti vis io iam, ieur neti ays darm, gohd gwayt unte id dom, neti trohv ays flors ep mien table ! Ed quod hieb io naken ? Io hieb drohmen ed me yaun in khauristat, instet algve iam, instet katue po iam ed kape iam pro me proaiwo ! Quanto ia mi hieb aiwo saygen de druv liubh mi enfiell, cent fayn, maunend werds, cent khafi kaschascha, promissa maghses – quod hieb io kwohrt ex ta ? Neid ! Neid ! Io me stohl ub medsu mien kamer, siemmel mien hol conscience ed mohn de Eva. Samghietskwo ia nerces os mien atmen kay khissihes iam mien liubh, kay attrage iam mi. Ia dohlgit gwehme ed ghides mien glaben, mien kuss dohlg aunsatos dehlve do aysa zrehla liubhlipps.
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Stahsim ed io me tens hina srigehsim ud ia finghers ed peds. Io khiss od force surc ex me. Unte oik instants iegit com semjecto darm ed angh in me, semjecto kweiter ed khuld; io hieb unte un dakika id sensation io bohr un cristall in mien kerd, ed io wois tod eet mien ego. Id srigos dostigh mien xiongbu. Kun io gohr ex id terrible tension, khiss io od semjecto gwohm. Eem exhausen do mohrt, bet eem parat ad vide Eva entre id kamer, ardent ed miryowt. Kaphgastampos hiemmer taiper id long strad, swohn prosch ed kaurd, stopit stayg. Io skans claus id fenster. Niter stigh Demian ud seddel. Io curs ghom. “Quod wakyet, Demian ? Ne hat yed quod ubgwohmt tieni mater ?” Is ne klu mien werds. Is eet baygh bleid, ed swoido drahsit ex eys dwo skolfas kya gians. Is bohnd ia oulers siens gverehnd ekwes ei gardenkagh, ghensit mien brakh ed ghiengit ghom id strad con me. “Woidst tu ja quod ?” Io wois neid. Demian sohr mien brakh ed wohrt sien lige kye me, samt un sombre, gvolwent, stragno spect. « Ya, mien pwarn, hat inkapt. Has ya klut de id major tension con Russia –“ “Quod ? Kwe est weir ? Ne ho aiwo crediht to.” Is bahsit ye khafi voc, quayque nimen eet in prokwitat. “Id est ne bad declaret. Bet est weir. Ghehd ses yakin de. Io neti hieb pickint te med to, bet ho vis pon senst ker tris nov omens. Bihsiet also neid mundgughehren, neid gischien, neid revolution. Bihsiet weir. Vidsies kam id plact ! Sessiet im leuds un wohn, ja cadanghen ghawdt de gvehne mutu. Im est id gwit biht tem fade. – Bet vidsies, Sinclair, to est tik id inkapem. Kad bihsiet un mier weir, un meg mier weir. Toschi est just id inkapem. Id nov inkapt, ed id nov sessiet gargic tim qui dare id veut. Quod sies tu kwehre ?” Eem taraght, quanto mi swohn dar alien ed rhayr-mukhtmel. “Ne woidim – ed tu ?” Is plex.
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“Yant id mobilisation proacsiem. Som lieutenant.” “Tu ? De to io wois neid.” « Ya, ho dohlct me adapte. Woidst, ho naiw extro gairn ubfallen ed ho semper kwohrt pior anter kay ses correct. Stahsiem, credeihm, ja pos oct diens ep id walu –“ “Inschallah –“ “Mae, pwarn, faham to sentimental. To mi niet ses plaisure commande bundukstrehls ep gwiv mencens, bet to sessiet neglectible. Taiper iter ex nos vaht gwehme do id megil kwekwl. Tuschi. Sessies sigwra recrutiht.” “Ed tien mater, Demian ?” Bad taiper mohnyim de quo hieb tyohcen oin horquardel pre. Kam alyo hiebit bihn id mund ! Io hieb sammeln mien hol force kay kassame id swadhst, ed taiper me spohc nov id meinyun ud un tehrghorrible mask. “Mien mater ? Oh, de iam ne tehrbmos swurghes. Ia est salv, salver quem cadanghen hoyd tienxia. – Lieubhs tu iam tant ? » « Tu woisst to, Demian ? » Is glih kweiter-ye ed alnos ludhern. “Lytil pwarn ! Naturelika io wois to. Nequis hat aiwo wohkwt mien mater med Potnia Eva, aun liubhes iam. Eti, kam buit to ? Iam tar au me has tu hoyd kalt, ne ?” “Ya, ho kalt – Ho kalt Potnia Eva.” “Ia hat khissen to. Ia me hat stayg yisen ad te. Io hieb just lohct ay ia novs de Russia.” Wey abgir ed natolkam lyt, is disdieh sien ekw ed stigh ep. In mien kamer uber khiss io preter kam exhausen eem de id message os Demian ed dar maung-ye meis de id prever tension. Bet Potnia Eva me hieb aurn ! Io hieb nact ays kerd med mien brens. Iaswo habiet gwohmt – sei ne – Kam stragno to hol eet, ed kam bell bilkull ! Taiper sollit gwehme un weir. Taiper sollit biwakye to de quod wey hieb ops ed ops tolken. Ed Demian hieb tant prewois. Kam stragn od taiper id druna ios mundios neti sollit prisrues nos semloc -, od id taiper stayg drahsit medsu per nies kerds, od aventures ed wild
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meinyuns nos appelleer ed od taiper au mox id moment eet quer id mundo nos nieudh, quer id volit se transforme. Demian sieyg prabh, to ne eet aytu sentimental-ye. Skaun eet tik od io tohrb gwive id tem mon affaire “meinyun” con tem maung leuds, con id hol mund. Gohd ghi ! Eem parat. Ye id vesper, kun io ghieng unte id urb, meg-ye kwistel vasya wangwls ob excitation. Quantloc in werd “weir” ! Io gwohm do Potnia Evas dom, dorkwam in id gardenliew. Eem is saul gost. Nimen sieyg un werdo de weir. Tik sert, just pre abgwahsim, sieyg Potnia Eva : “Kyar Sinclair, yu me habte kalen hoyd. Yu woid ma ioswo ne gwohm. Bet ne myehrste to : yu gnohte nun id kal, ed quankwe yu naudhte semanghen quel behrt id signe, tun rekalte ! » Ia bistahsit ed proghieng in id gardenregwos. Megil ed peurstinlik gress ia mysterieus inter ia silent drus, ed uper ays cap luc lytil ed delicate ia pelu stars. Gwehmo do id fin. Ia jects kwohr ir oku itner. Mox buit weir, ed Demian, daumye stragn in id uniform samt id argwrntgreis mantel, abieg. Io brigh ays mater tsay dom. Mox sriens ioschi iam, ia kuss mien stohm ed me dier unte un instant protie sien pizdan, ed ir mier okwi ieydh prokwem ed darm in miena. Ed vasyi wirs hieb kam fraterascen. Ies mieyn id patria ed id honor. Bet eet meinyun quos kohldert lige vasyi spohc unte un instant. Yuwens gwohm ex casernes, stigh do trains, ed ep maung liges vis io un signe – ne noster – un bell ed decosto signe, quod sieycskwit liubh ed nehc. Ioschi bihsim glapt ab menscens qui io hieb naiwo vis, ed io comprehens to ed respons gairn ad to. Eet uno medvia quer i ieg, neid meinyunsvol, bet id medvia eet iser, id emovit ob vasyi hieb glazt bragv-ye ed srehtos-ye ia okwi ios meinyun. Buit ja quasi winter kun io gwohm do id walu. In-kap buim io, nespekent ia sensations ios gastrehlos, decept af hol. Prever hieb io baygh reflex ma eet tem extreme-ye rar od unis menscis mieghit gwive pro un ideal. Taiper vis io od maung, ya vasyi mensci eent kabil os nehce pro un ideal. Tik tohrb id ses neid personal, neid leur, neid chusen ideal, id dohlg ses oin commun ed uperghenden. Wakt-ye vis io yed od io hieb subkohnsen i menscens. Tem maung i uniformisit id draukht ed id commun danger quem io vis yed maungs, gwivs ed mehrnds, qui lit splendid-ye prosch id meinyunsvol. Maungs, tem maungs hieb ne tik unte id attaque sontern ye cada tid id darm, piern, lyt kam possesso spect, quod woid neid de ia ziels ed maynt plen fuschiou dia id monstrueus. Miegh toy credihes ed
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opine quodlibt – eent parat, eent neudet, ex iens future wardhiet. Ed ye meis pagen kwohk id mund ep weir ed heroyisme, ef honor ed alya veut ideals, ye pierner ed meis rhayr-mukhtmel cada voc os apparent humanitat swohn, to hol eet tik id surface, tem quem id question de ia exterior ed politic ziels ios weirios remien tik superficial. In id profundor eet semject bihtur. Semjecto kam un nov humanitat. Maungens ghi ghohd io vide, ed pelus ex iens nohc nieb me – ies hieb vi-sensen od haines ed furor, gvonia ed perneicen ne depens ia objectives. No, ia objectives, tem quem ia ziels, eent alnos kjiawxieng. Cada orkhisses, hatta id wildst, ne ghohld pro el peind, ir cruorpoik wehrg eet tik radiation intos, ios eni disspalten atmen, yod riezdskwit ed gvohnskwit, pernicskwit ed nehcskwit, kay ghehde regnahe. Se udwigh un gigantav ex id oiv, ed id oiv eet id mund, ed id mund dohlg bihe draubhen. Ant id dorev wey hieb occupet stahsim wakht unte un noct os pirmwer inkap. Per erratic xoubas wehsit un slemb wind, uper id hog, flemisch waurno rid nebhenheirs, semloc apter id se tierk id meun. Ja unte id hol dien hieb io esen bfuyow, quodgvonc sweurgh me sturb. Taiper, ep mien temost wals, mohn io fervent-ye de ia kwiers miens gwitios tuntro, de Potnia Eva, de Demian. Stahsim kneigvend protiev un ptelei ed stier do id sroht waurn, quos mysterieus-ye convulgent kweiterts bihr mox mier surregent kwitersehkwa. Io khiss ob id stragn-ye tune miens puls, ob id insensitivitat miens cuitios dia wind ed seuy, ob id tweiser inner beud, od un duc eet in id ihatta. In ia nebhs eet un mier urb visu, ex quod strohmeer millions menscen qui se disswierm uper wayt landspects. Medsu i prohp un staur divgastalt, tweiser stars in sien kays, ubsell kam un gabehrg, samt ia traits as Potnia Eva. Do iam se forswohnd ia traits im menscen, kam do un gigantesk balma, ed abieg. Ia div endersess ghom, kweiter schimmrit id kweitu ep ayso chol. Un drehm kwohk waldhe iam, ia clusit sien okwi, ed ays mier antlige kriemp ob gvol. Stayg oiscricit ia akster-ye, ed ex ayso chol sprohng stars, pelu ghesla leucend stars, qua se smiss unte splendid arcs ed pwolcircules uper id sword waurn. Oin ex ia stars kwistel samt akster clangh chiowdeo kye me, kwohk paurske me. – Tun id discriesch baubend do gheslo bliutes, id dribh me ubtro ed me rexubh ghomtro, dvehnend collieb id mund uper me. Buim trohven prokwem id ptelei, covohrno med ardh ed samt maung vurnsa. Io lyohg in un kellar, canons grohm uper me. Io lyohg in un wogh ed takien uper tuich polds. Meist-ye swohp io we bayaldissim. Bet ye profunder io swohp, ye gwis-ye khiss io od semject me attrieg, od io sohkw un force quod me wieldh.

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Io lyohg in un stadel ep strah, eet temost, semquis hieb trohden mien hand. Bet mien inner me wayter attriecskwit dar meis akster. Iter lyohg io ep un wogh ed serter ep un bertel au layter, meis akster me eekhikheisso wohlt semquetro, eekhikeisso neid ploisko id waurgo kay arrive bad tetro. Dind buim in id destination. Eet noct, eem alnos conscient, io hieb dar just khisst akster-ye id pulsion ed waurg in me. Taiper lyohg io in sall, cubhen ep id swol, ed kwahsim od eem ter quetro io hieb esen kalen. Io glaz ambh me, claus mieno matrass lyohg alyo ed semquis ep id, qui xyieng ed me spohc. Is hieb id signe ep sien chol. Eet Max Demian. Io khiek bahe, ed isschi khiek we ne iskwit. Is tik me spohc. Ep eys lige lyohg id arg uns ampull, quod hieng uper iom ud id mur. Is mi smih. Unte un aunfin long wakt spohc is dayim mien okwi. Lent-ye dehsit is sien lige proscher me hina quasi toucham mutu. “Sinclair !” sieyg is susurnd-ye. Io ei znieyc med mien okwi od pretim iom. Is smih iter, quasi ob mildet. “Lytil pwarn !” sieyg is oismeihnd-ye. Eyso stohm lyohg taiper baygh prokwem mieno. Ye khafi voc nabahsit is. “Ghehds tu dar mehme Franz Kromer ?” sprohg is. Io ei mic, edschi ghohd smihes. “Lytil Sinclair, kau ! Dehlcsiem abgwahe. Kad me naudhsies oins iter, contra iom Kromer au alyem. Sei tun me kalsies, neti gwehmsiem tem honar-ye reidend un ekw au med id train. Dehlcsies tun aure eni te, tun kausies od som eni te. Fahams tu ? – Ed dar to ! Potnia Eva hat sayct, sei oins dusleits, tun tehrpsiem tib dahe id kuss ud iam quod ia mi hat uperdaht... Clud tien okwi, Sinclair ! » Io clus taat-ye mien okwi, io khiss un legvo kuss ep mien lipps ep quod pauk ex mien sehrg hieb sohndert ed zasrut. Ed tun io nierc.

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Ye id aghyern buim protiebudt, io tohrb ses plastiren. Kun hiebim bad alnos gohrn, vols io oku kyid niebermatrass. Ep id lyohg alyos, quom io hieb naiwo vis prever. Id plastire gvolit me. Quanto mi tuntos wakyit gvolit. Bet quando trehvo yando id cleich ed steigho niter alnos eni me, quer in id deusko specule ia meinyunkwiters raflate, tun tehrbo io tik me clihnes uper id sword specule ed vido mien wi kwiter, quod nun kwehct alnos kam Is, Is, mien prient ed duc.

Publiet ab Mithridates Calgary, Canada - 2013

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