COMMUNICATION PILLAR 2

How do Spanish family dynamics reflect collectivism of the Spanish culture?

Com207-Intercultural Communication
Joint authors: Natalie Jaeger and Jami Beall* Spring 2011

Skill in responsible and sensitive communication with diverse others

*Jami and I conducted the interviews and wrote this paper collaboratively. We combined our resources on the literature review and applying the literature to our findings from the interviews that took place via Skype while my friends were studying abroad in Spain.

How do Spanish family dynamics reflect collectivism of the Spanish culture?

Natalie Jaeger Jami Beall Com. 207-Intercultural Communication Professor Barb King Carroll University

Known worldwide for its yearly tomato fights (La Tomatina Tomato Fight), exotic dances, bull fighting, and much more, the Spanish culture has become one of the worlds most fascinating. However, here in the U.S we tend to Americanize anything and everything including all the different ethnicities that make up our melting pot country, not giving into the fact that there is more to a persons heritage than what meets the eye. It is unfortunate that when thinking of the Spanish culture, we automatically connect it with the stereotype of tacos, sombreros, and fiestas all around rather than its unique and diverse lifestyles. An important lifestyle, Spanish family dynamics, is rich in its traditions and varies greatly from the typical American family. Spanish families emphasize the concept of togetherness and promote the importance of family to their children. Through research and interviews, it is shown that the family dynamics of Spain reflect a collectivistic attitude of cultural variability. Literature Review With a population of 40, 252, 551 (Spain) as of 2008, Spain is ranked 29th out of the top 100 largest countries in the world (Largest Countries of the World). However, recent studies suggest the Hispanic population has been declining over the past decade (Gabriel A. Acevedo). Spain is a very diverse country and is broken down into many different regions with many small micro-cultures (Spain). Amongst these different regions: Galicia, Basque, Euskadi, Catalonia, the Balearic Islands, and Valencia. There are four main languages (Spanish, Galician, Catalan, and Valencian) spoken throughout the country depending on the area, although Spanish is the most commonly used by 72% of Spains population (Spain-Language, Culture, Customs, and Etiquette).

Unlike the massive windows, intimidating stairwells, and grand lofted ceilings that Americans like to display, Spaniards are more nonchalant about their dwellings. (Gabriel A. Acevedo). Spanish homes are more commonly built with thick adobe and stone representing privacy and intimacy. It is not common for one to find windows in front of the house and patios to block off doorways, for homes in the Spaniard lifestyles are meant to be kept more private (Rebecca M. Cuevas De Caissie). The villages, also known as pueblos are clustered and tightly packed with houses, shops, barns, and buildings in the middle and fields, farmlands, and orchards surrounding the inner city (Spain). All and all, the villages and citizens are very open and welcoming to guests. Public places, like the local farmers market, are often viewed as an opportunity to socialize and catch up with one another; Spaniards can spend hours upon hours walking through a market. Unlike Americans, they go by their own clock and often start events a little later than the original time (Spain-Language, Culture, Customs, and Etiquette). Family Life/ Culture in Spain Whether youre in the U.S, South America, or even Spain, there will always be some sort of set gender roles that play a huge part in making up a certain culture. Much like the U.S culture, it is common for the women to stay home and the men to bring home the bacon by pursing the working world. It is expected that men deal with the politics and women with the children and religion, however it is becoming more common to see Hispanic women entering the work force (Gabriel A. Acevedo). In agricultural areas, it isnt out of the ordinary for men to go

out and do the plowing while women stay home, cook, and clean although in urban areas gender roles are sometimes switched; men can cook without burning anything and they actually like it! (Spain). A typical Spaniard household consists of a husband, wife, and their children. Family is very important in the Spanish culture as well as their relationships outside of the immediate family. Since the towns can be rather small and constricted Spaniards become close with their neighbors and often welcome new comers with open arms. Nevertheless, it is rare for men and women to be caught socializing with each other in public. Men go off and talks about politics while women form their own assemble mostly acknowledging things around the household (Rebecca M. Cuevas De Caissie). Children are born and raised to be respectful of their elders and especially with the members of their immediate family (Spain). If rules are broken there is really no punishment involved. A true punishment to a Spaniard is social shame. A lot of times if a child acts out of term, it is regarded back to the immediate family as a whole, for it is the parents job to teach their children the rights and wrongs. If and when there is a scolding, it is often followed by kisses. For the most part, children are very mature for their age due to the exposure of adult conversation and entertainment (Rebecca M. Cuevas De Caissie). Standards are set high and, exposing their children to proper education is one of the main goals a parent can have. This way they can ensure a promising future to their children. It is tradition for the youngest child to stay in the house until his/her parents pass on, and then they can start a life of their own in the house (Spain). As the children grow up and start to lead a life of their own, it is advised that they meet

someone at their own will. Arranged marriages are looked down upon. When looking for a significant other, Spaniards focus mainly on their own social rankings. However, if they are someone in the lower statuses, it is typical to marry into a family with money and property (Spain). Research Question How do Spanish family dynamics reflect collectivism of the Spanish culture? Methodology Regarding to methodology, the process of interviewing was used for our research. Alivia Gilbert and Kara Delie are both sophomores who studied abroad in Spain this year. They are both living with host families. Kara is a student at Carroll University who has a minor in Spanish. She studied abroad, because she wanted to improve her Spanish, which would help her in future Spanish courses. Alivia studies at UW-Madison, and is majoring in Spanish Education. It was required that she studied abroad for a semester. For both interviews, we used an online video system, Skype. The interviews took place on March 1st, 2011. We asked the subjects specific questions regarding to family life in Spain. We asked about the family they were staying with, such as how many people, what gender the children are, etc. We then asked how Spanish family life is different from American family life. This question produced the most feedback, as there were many cultural differences regarding family life between the two countries. We then asked how the siblings interacted with each other and their parents. To conclude the interview we asked about specific gender roles that the parents partake in. Then we

let the subjects talk about their perspectives of how family life in Spain is similar/different to the average family in the United States. The following information is items produced from our interview session with Alivia and Kara. Findings Alivia stayed with a very large family in Madrid. The family consists of 10 children and the parents. The youngest child is 17, while the eldest is 32. Of the 10 children, 6 still currently live in the home. This is one major culture difference that often occurs in Spain, but rarely happens in the United States. For Spanish family culture, it is common that children live in the homes of their parents until they are older because of the bad economy. 40% of people under the age of 26 dont have jobs in Spain, so it is common for children to live with their parents until around the age of 30. Regarding to college and living, children often commute back and forth. They attend classes during the day, and live in the home with their parents at night. In regards to the large family, Alivia said that large families are not that common in Spain; her family is an acceptance to the rule. She believes that the reason why her family had a lot of children is because a lot of Spanish people practice Catholicism very strictly, and take the no birth control rules very seriously. Although the family is large, the practices they partake in are very similar to Karas family, which was a lot smaller (five people total). Kara is staying with a family of five in the city of Salamanca. The members of the family are the parents, and 3 young children. The two daughters are 8and 6, and they have a young son who is two. The family lives in a neighborhood that is shared by their extended

family members. The mothers three sisters, two brothers, her parents, and all their children live in the same village. A common idea in Spanish family culture is that family sticks together, and is the most important thing. It is very common for extended families to live close to each other and to get together multiple times throughout the week. Alivia reported that the family always eats all meals together, most importantly dinner. It is very uncommon to have a guest or friend over for a meal, as they are most likely with their own families. Dinner is the most important meal, as everyone is home, and is able to engage in communication. According to Alivia, it is common for extended family members to come over to share dinner meals as well. Kara reported the same thing. All meals are eaten together. In her instance, the family waited for the young boy to wake up from his nap before they could begin lunch. Both reported that the meal times were much different in Spain, than in the U.S. Breakfast occurs when the whole family wakes up, lunch falls somewhere between two and three oclock and dinner usually starts at eight, but can start as late as ten. Another common element in Spanish family culture is the lack of arguing that exists between family members. Confrontation is frowned upon, and solving problems is accomplished by having a calm and rationalized conversation. Alivia and Kara reported that they rarely saw anger or temporal blow-ups. Even if family members disagreed with something, a common attitude is that majority rules, and the person who disagrees has to just accept the commonality of the family. Similar to this idea, is the vast amount of respect that is shown towards parents. Alivia said that she was shocked that the children never talked badly about their parents and always showed the utmost respect towards them. Children never disrespect their parents.

According to Kara, it is just unheard of for children to talk back to their parents. When a child does talk back to their parents, they are often ignored. The lack of attention is supposed to cause embarrassment to the child, who will apologize, so that the family wont have to experience isolation or an awkward feeling. Alivia said that whenever the father came home from work, the children dropped whatever activity they were doing and went to give him a hug and kiss. This was the same in Karas family. The children would run down the drive when their father returned from work. They also always had to say thanks to their mom for preparing the meal, before they could take a bite. Alivia said that in her family, members often called each other guapa/guapo when saying hi, as it is a form of endearment and respect. An aspect of family culture in Spain that is also different in the United States is how close children are to their siblings. It is common in Spain to only have a core group of friends consisting of two to three people, as siblings are often counted as your friends, especially if they are close in age. Alivia said that her host siblings all went out together every weekend. They also engaged in many activities inside the home together, such as watching the same TV shows, playing games, or even sharing conversations over the computer. Kara said that her younger host siblings were close as well. When the daughters got a new toy they always shared with their younger brother and included him, even if they were engaged in a girl game, such as dress-up or playing with dolls. Although it is common for siblings to be close in the United States, Alivia said that in Spain it seems that sibling love is to the next level. They act as friends, instead of siblings, and will ask their siblings to engage in an activity first before they extend the invitation to their friends. Kara agreed to that statement. She said that from the time her host

sisters wake up to the time that they go to sleep, they are inseparable. They even share a bed at night, even though they have their own, because they like being close. Finally, Spain has a common set of gender roles. In really modern and urban areas of Spain, woman are commonly seen in the workplace, but in villages and neighborhoods where many families reside, it is very custom that women stay at home to do housework, and men go to work to make money for the family. Alivia described her mom as superwoman. She cleaned, cooked, did laundry, and even made her own artwork, which is decoration for their home. With six kids still living in the home, Alivia said she still does the laundry and prepares meals for all of them. Kara said that her host mom was also very busy cleaning and preparing dinner. She also spent a lot of time in the garden, as gardening is a common hobby in Spanish villages. The fathers report to work every day. It is even common for them to work on Saturdays, but only for half days. It is also common for the fathers to help their children with activities such as sports or clubs, while the mother is the one who helps with homework. The father is also the disciplinarian in the family. In Alivias family the children ask their father about items related to money, going out, or social plans. In Karas family, if a child does something wrong, their father decides the severity of the punishment. These gender roles depend on families and the areas of Spain, but it is most common that the woman stay at home and the father is the head of the family. These accounts from Alivia and Kara have helped us come to a conclusion to our research question. Spanish family dynamics reflect the views of a collectivistic society in many ways. To begin, the first example we noted was the fact that older Spanish children still live

with their parents and are dependent upon them. Alivia talked to one of the oldest daughters in the family, who is 26. The daughter, her name is Ana, said that she is grateful that she had her parents to depend on when she couldnt find a job. She said that it is just a natural instinct for all family members to look out for the others. In this case, the members who were better off in the family (the parents), are expected to help those in the family that are in need (the children),Alivia said. This example shows that Spain family dynamics definitely fall into the collectivistic category. The fact that the parents are willing to help all the children shows that there is more of a benefit for the group mentality, over the benefit for the individual. A common characteristic of collectivism is when members sense a duty to the group. In this example, the parents duty is to help their children, and it is the childrens duty to help around the house while they are living at home. Ana said that the children are expected to be able to do this for their own children when the time comes, said Alivia. Another example of how Spanish family dynamics reflects collectivism is the fact that extended families in Spain are so close and interact on a daily basis. I would explain the whole extended family thing, as like, having a family reunion every day, said Kara. If the extended family doesnt get together every day, they get together at least once a week for a big meal or event.

In a collectivistic society, group members are often interdependent on others. This characteristic is shown with the above example, because the group members are reliant on the others for entertainment and for social interaction. The example of how Spanish families also eat every meal together falls under this category as well. The members of the family rely on each other so that they have a good meal. For dinner, everybody helps prepare, Alivia said. The mom and older kids prepare the main dishes, and the younger kids set the table. Whoever doesnt help with setting up gets to clean up afterward. Even the little girls helped their mother prepare meals, Kara said. It was a group effort, and also a time for them to bond. Another common element of collectivism is that ideas and beliefs are shared with other members of the group. We found examples of this in the fact that both subjects said that children respected their parents and never argued with them. Although they may not agree with their parents, both parties share the belief that a child does what their parents tell them to, because if they disobey, they will stray from the benefit of the group. One of my host sisters got in trouble one time, because she went to the park when her mom told her not to, said Kara. As punishment, she and her sister couldnt go to the park for 3 days. I guess the philosophy there is that if one child does wrong, the others are affected too. It really is a group-orientated culture.

A common trait of collectivism is that the main value stressed by groups is harmony. This is apparent because of the amount of respect that the children show their parents. Harmony is also reflected in our final example, which is the constant interaction between siblings. Siblings in Spain are very close, as both subjects identified that their host siblings spent the vast majority of their times with their brothers and sisters. It was amazing how much my little host sisters watched and played with their young brother. When they played anything, they somehow included him in the game. They were devastated when he was napping, Kara said. My host siblings best friends were each other, Alivia said. They always went out together and there isnt a lot of alone time...people just dont need it, I guess. The way that siblings interact on a constant basis strengthens the idea that harmony is valued, which is a main point in a collectivistic culture. Conclusion A collectivistic culture values the group over the individual, and it is apparent that Spanish family dynamics reflect a collectivistic idea. The accounts of Alivia and Kara, and the data gathered from scholarly research reflects a culture that values family as a high priority in life, and seeks benefits for the family as a whole, not just one individual. The examples of older children being dependent on the family, the amount of time spent with extended family, the lack of argument that goes on between family members, and the high interaction rate amongst

siblings truly reflects the values of harmony, likeness, and group respect that is so highly valued in a collectivistic group. Every family has their exceptions to the rules, but the fact that our subjects were located in two different geographical areas, and had two very different family structures, yet still had similar results and likeness in the family culture, shows that Spain overall is of collectivistic nature, especially regarding to family dynamics.

References

Author, Gabriel A. Acevedo. (2009). Hispanics and Their Perceptions of Family Dynamics: An Extension and Test of Group Reference Theory. Retrieved from http://web.ebscohost.com.pioproxy.carrollu.edu/ehost/detail?hid=13&sid=55e7b9ed-e513-4689b6ba-2b9265aeff95%40sessionmgr15&vid=15&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZQ %3d%3d#db=aph&AN=43018859

Author, Rebecca M. Cuevas De Caissie. (2011). Hispanic Culture Family Values. Retrieved from http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art31982.asp

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