THE GREAT DISAPPOINTMENT BOX BROWNBox Brown is a cartoonist, illustrator and comic publisher from Philadelphia. His comics have been featured in Mad Magazine and his illustrations have been on Wired.com. His web and print comic Everything Dies was named a notable comic in the 2011 Best American Comics Anthology and was honored with two Ignatz Awards. His comics publishing outfit, Retrofit launched in 2011 ‘Special thanks to Sarah, Matt, Buster and Louis. Thanks also to The ‘Skeptic's Guide to the Universe Podcast, The Atheist Experience Podcast and, of course, Rapture Ready Radio. The Great Disappointment © Brian Brown 2011 ISBN 978-1-105-25096-5 The works found herein were originally published at EverythingDiesComic.com and in the self-pub- lished Everything Dies comic books. All rights reserved. Please don’t use this material in any form without the permission of publisher or author. Use of sample pages for review purposes, in print and online, is allowed. You are, however, encouraged to take photos of your favorite panels and post them on Twitter, make sure to alert @boxbrown Discover more about Box Brown: boxbrown.com everythingdiescomic.com retrofitcomics.comTHE GREAT DISAPPOINTMENT EVERYTHING DIES VOLUME 1 BOX BROWNz H ma ae ake} =}THOUSANDS OF YEARS LATER: Enious) ALL THIS MATER AND ENERGY ALWAYS MORMONISM EXISTED. ue IkNow THERE IS WE HAVE EXISTED WE WILL KELL. A PROBLEM OF OVER- FOR ZO MILLTONYEARS| || of FREEZE TRILLIONS WE WTLL CONTINUE! OF PEOPLE! MANY OF YOUR PLANETS.a SoLP ALONG TIME LATER WHERE DO You COME FROM? oN —Y* IF You WANT 1 DRY LAND So BAD OK: TIE THIS GO GET ME Some Rock To MY LEFT EARTH To MAKE ARM. TT FROM.IF I JERK THE ROPE ONCE IT MEANS THE ROPE TSNTLONG ENOUGH, V) The adh ANS Cg Cra we oe x FH fad ‘LF T JERK IT Wie TT MEANS T'VE FOND SOME EARTH AND You MUST PULL ME UP QUICKLY. VALE K — CZ I ac ON N CHECK TT OUT:EARTH UNDER MY FINGER- NAILS. THIS IS ALL THE EARTH T COULD SCRAPE. rm po VW ri KA KW4NOW WE LIE To- GETHER AND You WILL GIVE BIRTH TO ALL THE PEOPLE. BUT WHERE DID THE REST OF THE WORLD COME FROM? ATHEISM Is THE LACK OF BELLEF IN Gov. THEREFORE ATHELSTS Do NOTWILLIAM MILLER . LEADER OF THE MILLERITES IS SEARCHING FOR ANSWERS...ACCORDING TO DANIEL 8:14, CHRIST WILL RETURN SOMETIME IN 1843! Fy = ie Bee xX ea ' yy TTT TOM L_—/ CHRIST WILL L=| RETURN BO Yo! . SOON! U KNOW) WHEN EXACTLY? IT WILL OCCUR EXACTLY SOMETIME BETWEEN MARCH 1\ 1843 AND MARCH 21, 1844!MARCH 72! ,/844APRIL 18, 1844 , USING THE OK, WE'VE RECALCULATED KARAITE TEWISH CALENDAR. ) €7 Ky Z . s( | Ly | . I mig All il ! |AUGUST, 1844. EXETER, NH CAMP-MEETING ) y) SAMUEL S. SNOW HE WAS ABLE TO WORKS ON A NEW FIGURE OUT THE DEFIN- INTERPRETATION. ITIVE DATE FOR THE RETURN OF JESUS. THIS IS \T! IMUST DISCUSS THIS WITH WILLIAM.THESE CALCULATIONS ARE UNDENIABLE. OCTOBER 22 JESUS WILL RETURN. YES, OCTOBER22 FOR REAL ISTHE NEW DATE OF THIS TIME? JESUS RETURN. YES! FOR REAL! THE EVIDENCE 1S UNDENIABLE. I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE SURE OF ANYTHING!OCTOBER 22,1844 BUT THIS TIME MESSAGE SPREAD WITH AN UNPARALLELED RAPIDITY. THOUSANDS OF FOLLOWERS PREPARED FOR CHRIST'S RETURN. ip ty pp ita Y, WOE YY YUP, PRETTY SURE JESUS DIDN'T RETURN. jHENRY EMMONS LATER WROTE OF THE EXPERIENCE: I WAITED ALL TUESDAY AND DEAR JESUS NEVER DID COME;- I WAITED ALL THE FORENOON OF WED- NESDAY, AND WAS WELL IN BODY AS T EVER Pi : | a | ~ BEFORE DARK I BUT AFTER IZ O'CLOCK EEDED SOMEONE TO I BEGAN TO FEEL HELP ME TO MY Et A CHAMBER. Ny i NY ah MY NATURAL STRENGTH WAS LEAVING ME VERY FAST.WILLIAM MILLER WAS MET WITH RIDI- by CULE EVERYWHERE. COE Pn HEY MILLER! | YOU GO UP YET!? | YEAH, MILLER! You GOT YOUR TICKET TO GO UP YET? HE WAITED FOR TESUS TO RETURN UNTIL HE DIED. ——DESTROY THE CHURCH! NY ITHACA px RS os Re OK a ROR Y ON RRR MUN OSSS: < Yy RNY IN SOME CASES THE DISAPPOINTED TURNED VIOLENT NY ui Zz c a a ° a4 NY SCOTTSVILLE AND FEATHERED AND A GROUP OF MILLERITES IN TORONTO WERE TARREDTHE MILLERITES HAD VARIOUS RESPONSES SOME THEORIZED THAT T'LL LOOK FOR JESUS THE WORLD HAD ENTERED TOMORROW. IF NOT THEN THE “THE GREAT SABBATH NEXT DAY. HE IS COMING! AND REFUSED TO WORK. 1 \ MANY. BELIEVED MARK 10:15: WAS roe ie eration “WHOEVER DOES NOT RECEIVE A CLOUD AND NEEDED THE KINGDOM OF GOD LIKE TOBE PRAYED DOWN. ACHILD MAY NOT ENTER™ °% = DZS SO THEY ACTED ie ~ LIKE CHILDREN. [77 THE MAJORITY THOUGH | | GAVE UP THEIR BELIEFS AND REBUILT THEIR LIVES.STILL OTHER'S HAD THEIR OWN EXPLATIONS. NO,SEE THE OCTOBER 22 DATE PREDICTED A HEAVENLY EVENT, NOT THE SECOND COMING. CHRIST DID RETURN HE’S JUST INVISIBLE. THE EVENT HAPPENED! THE PRE- DICTIONWAS RIGHT! BUT THIS WAS THE 1840'S. THIS STUFF COULD NEVER HAPPEN IN MODERN TIMES. SURELY , WITH ALL WE'VE LEARNED YOU'D HAVE To, BE IN ACULT TO FALL FOR THE OLD END OF THE WORLD” TRICK.L\J my sons TuRN TowaRDs SATAN. THIS PIGEON MUST VA BURN AS AN OFFERENG.I,I TRY Not To BUT THEN ZT HAVE URGES, You WANE ACCEPT- €D SATAN!LORD PLEASE SAVE MYSON! Your POWER GOD DAMMIT, SATAN! IS MIGHTY! Youve ISN'T THIS MAN PrOUS?, BLESSED ME so! I wourd BE PTous Too TF LT WERE BLESSED WITH RIES. Go AHEAD AND ToRTURE WIM, TLL WAGER HELL REMAIN Prous! Ain eredi ( myIT WILL BENICE To SEE ALL OF OUR OFFSPRING TOOETHER AT “THE HOME OF OUR FIRST SON. ry ] yas mn \ i 2 sae Y ALL SEVEN Sons, ALL THREE DAUGHTERS... THIS WILL BEA GREAT FEAST INDEED! aie ETE ee = EN)THE LORD WAS GIVEN AND THELORD WAS TAKEN AWAY! WELL, WELL wat SAY You Now), SATAN? MAY I HAVE YOUR PERMISSION ‘To AFFECT HIS... PERSON?SURE,SATAN. GONUTS. ok y N A DON'T PICK AT Your eI BoLLS WITH THAT N E\ BROKE! — PLATE ,JOB. WHY DON'T YOU BO SOMETHING USEFUL? LIKE CURSING THAT GoD DAMNED Gob OF Yours!YOU'RE TALKING LIKE WE SHOULD RECEIVE A CRAZY PERSON: Goud FROM GoD AND. NOT RECEIVE EVIL? SEE Satan? No SIN EVEN Toucues WIS LIPS. I WILL GET Advice FROM MY FRIENDS.JOB MEETS WITH ELIPHAZ, BILDAD AND ZOPHARUti LISTEN, JOB LET'S FACE IT, YOU MUST'VE NO! NOTHING! T DONE SOMETHING TO SWEAR en MY IFE.LISTEN SOB, THERE'S NO TWO WAYS ABOUT IT, ea Ti UNLESS You MEAN ‘To PROPOSE THAT GOD WOULD PUNISH FOR REASONS OTHER THAN RETROBUTION.CHRIST OZARKSBUT CHRIST OF THE OZARKS THE BRAIN CHILD OF GERALD L.K. SMITH COULD NEVER COME TOGETHER WITHOUT THE DEATH OF HUEY LONG. A ye [ } 4 JZ vy ZBAFANRE SMITH AND LONG WERE MEMBERS @ND AFTER LONG WAS OF THE “SHARE OU WEALTH MOVE- ASSASSINAT: ~ MENT IN 1935, ED, WELL i‘ AS 1) a a ayTHE “SHARE OuR WI HAD “Ro! BUT SMI WEALTHY MOVEMENT BIN HOOD” IDEALS UNDER LONG ITH ADDED A FEWOFHIS OWN. Joe PARTY Oils: = a A ar M ngTHE “SHARE OUR WEALTH BUT HE FOUND MOVEMENT DIDN'T LasT MUCH LONGER AFTER THAT. WHAT DOES OUR, a t LovaLTY ‘To THE arenican’ RePueLic! Fi 4% - AS ONE MIGHT IMAGINE, AFTER MIERICAN FASCIST GRouP MODELED AFTER NAZ\ STORMTROOPERS FELL OUT OF FAVOR. LLLIN 1942, AFTER “THE JEWS” CAUSED WE WILL SAVE HIM TO LOSE WIS BID FOR THE REPUBLICAN WHITE CHRISTIAN NOMINATION FOR SENATOR, HE WAS AMERICAL FORCED To START... THE AMERICA FIRST PARTY! HE “Bore NO RESEM- BLANCE WHATEVER To THE MODEQN HOOK-NOSE, SHOPKEEPER... HITLER 1S SIMPLY BEING /THey WERE SENT TO AMERICA To KEEP \ PERSECUTED BY THE SES! ROOSEVELT [N POWER HE DIDN'T KILL SIX MILLION OF THEM.AND SMITH ENDED UP RUNNING S0,1IN 194% THEY FOR PRESIDENT THREE TIMES! REBRANDED AND AFTER SUCK A DEVASTATING LOSS ITWAS CLEAR THEY NEEDED RETOOLING. N AS THE CHRISTIA THE AMERICA FIRST NATIONAL PARTY PARTY AND SMITH ONLY GOTIT#OVOTES A a ae SMITH RAN ONE MORE TIME IN \a56.0 f ( IT PROMOTED HIS. \ CORE VALUES. g PRESERVE AMERICA. =MAINTAIN A GOVERMENT. SET UP BY THE MAJORITY WHICH ABUSES NO MINORITY AND Is ABUSED BY NO MINORITY, FIGHT MONGRELIZATION AND ALL ATTEMPTS BEING MADE To FORCE THE INTERMIXTURE OF THE AND SMITH WAS AMONG ONE OF THE FIRST CONSPIRACY THEORISTS! WE OPPOSED THE a N. BECAUSE IT'S A SLIPPERY SLOPE, TO ONE GOVERNFENT.VENTUALLY, |T Uae TIME 08 SMITH ID WIFE TO RETIRE.ITLL BE THE GREAT WALL GLORIOUS! OF JERUSALEM. THE RIVER JORDAN WHERE You can BE BAPTISED!HE AND HIS WIFE ARE BURIED AT THE FOOT OF THE STATUE.EPTLOGUE EMMET SULLIVAN HOWEVER WENTON TO BETTER THINGS. " Qo ae 1] pwoseur park ww, RAPID CITY, SOUTH DAKOTA DiNosauR WoRLD BEAVER , AZKANSAS ZAND ‘To THIS DAY CHRISTOF THE OZARKS REMAINS THE LARGEST STATUE OF JESUS IN THE US. Wave To JESUS, ALOUD SPEAKER. PLAYS HYMNS OVER SMITH AND HIS Wire's: GRAVE CONTINUOUSLY.A_PREANBLE ©, YNEOF THE COMPLICATIONS OF HAVING A VERY COMMON EMAIL ADDRESS 1S RECEIVING A LOT OF UNWANTED EMAILS INTENDED FOR SOMEONE ELSE OF THE SAME NAME. I RECEIVED ONE SUCH EMAIL ON MARCH 4,2010. ITT WAS AN EMAIL FORWARD THAT HAD BEEN PASSED AROUND ALOT. THE SUBJECT LINE READ:"FWD: POEM...” AND THE PERSON WHO ACCIDENTALLY SENT IT TO ME ADDED: “THIS 1S A MUST READ IT TEACHES US HOW MUCH WE NEED TO DEPEND ON SEHOVAH AND HOW WE NEED To WAIT FOR HIM To SEND US SOMEONE THAT LOVES HIM? THE PERSON WHO SENT I(T TO HER HAD ADDED: “SENT THIS TO PRACTICALLY EVERYONE IN MY ADDRESS BOOK. 1 BET EVEN THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE ALREADY MARRIED KNOW SOMEONE YOU CAN SHARE THIS WITH” THE ANONYMOUSLY WRITTEN POEM 1S AS FOLLOWS, UNALTERED:IMET HIM DURING LUNCH BREAK ON AVERY SUNNY DAY... HE SAT NEXT To ME AND SMILED AS I WAS ABOUT TO PREY... 1 WISHED THAT ‘THIS MOMENT WOULD ss \ eaLIKE A TOWER. T TELL YOU, WHEN WE MET AGAIN AND HE ob 0b He LookeDHE DOESN'T SMOKE OR DRINK. Wy AND HE's NoBoDy'S| - “HONEY G HONEY. NOT FoR ME, SAC THANKS. eo E'S MY THE ONLY THING : FINE AND HE'S GOT fi} THAT'S MISSING IS HE A REALLY GREAT Mi') DOESN'T SERVE JEHOVAH BOD. Gob.VLLGIVE HIM A CHANCE HE'LL. CHANGE IN TIME. WON'T MIND BEING HIS \F HE'D LIKE TOBE MINE. MYFRIENDS TRIED TO WARN ME. DIDN'T LISTEN OR CARE. LITTLE DID I KNOW MY LIFE WOULD BE ONE OF DESPAIR. THEWEDDING WAS FINE , THE JUDGE MARRIED YOu SEE, I COULDN'T USIN THE FALL. GET MARRIED IN AKINGDOMMY DAD, NO,HE DIDN'T GIVE MEAWAY. WITH THE PAIN IN HIS HEART HE DIDN'T HAVE MUCH TO SAY. EVERN THINGS GOING FINE BUT RECENTLY AT NIGHT WHEN IT'S TIME For THE MEETING WE DUST FUSSAND. EIGHT. MOM LISTEN TO ME PLEASE.| DON'T CRY AND WHINE. L'VE GOT A GOOD MAN AND HE'S GOT A GOOD Jog. DON'T GO TONIGHT DEAR. PLEASE FOLLOW Youve HEART.SO I LISTEN AND STAY ‘© KEEP PEACE AT HOME To _ | EB } j LLL BUTNOW OFTENTIMES ILFEEL SO ALONE: LT SVZYA A B PONT assOgaTe, WITH SERVICE MEE TINGS ars ic Le ALL HISTORY. TODAY LDEC TO KEEP PEACE AT HOME ORATED MY FIRST HOL- LI OON'T GO TO THE HALL 1DAaY TREE. X Te NA Ss C ; US NX PISS wf’ HOLIDAY CELEBRATIONS & ARE Now Q PART OF MY [\ LIFE. SSSREADING 1S SUCH A_ BORE. ~ FREE For JEHOVANS > | pov Hat ONCE was IN ME,T Just GoT THENEws! 1’ HAVING ALITILE ONE .1 COULD ER HARDLY WAIT To TELL DEAR “HON? “\ ° “ 7 rN Q HE Lost e=)\ x Q Zo es THAT DAY. ° oe NG |,THEN HE APOLOGIZED. YOU SEE, I'VE HEARD THOSE — WORDS MORE THAN I'DLIKE To I'M SORRY, PLEASE ez FORGIVE ME, DEAR. | MUST SuePoRT MY HOUSEHOLD.MY SCHEDULE AT BOTH JOBS, T'LL HAVE To RE- ARRANGE. \ FOR BETTER OR FoR Worse. THE ONLY PROBLEM 1S HE DOESN'T PUT SE- HOVAH FIRST.SUES SHE'S SO LITILE AND LIGHT, SHE'S NOT CRYING OR MAKING NOISE. SOMETHING'S SUST NOT RIGHT. MRS. UNBELIEVER, THERE IS SOMETHING | MUST CONFESS. You AND YouR BABY TESTED POSITNE To THE| STARTED CRYING. To KNOW IN A SHORT | COULDN'T BELIEVE THE TIME MY CHILD AND TD WORDS THE DOCTORSAID. LISTEN To Me! ALL OF OF You! VM TELLING You To YouR FACE! TO MARRY AN UNBELIEVER 1S Q TOTAL DISGRACE.TO SEHOVAH OUR “THAT'S WHY HE SET'S. LOVING FATHER WHO GUIDELINES Fo US ToHOLD jEEP. w u wy IN HIS DUE TIME HELL SET THINGS STRAIGHT. ie LY BE PATIENT AND HE'LL GIVE YOU A THE- OCRATIC MATE.AND You KNOW THOT HELL DO RIGHT. ONE WHO'LL BE A WORLDLY MAN THERE WHEN IT HAS NOTHING TO COMES To MEETING NIGHT. REALLY NOTHING AT ALL. BUT UNHAPPINESS, = SADNESS ,SORLOW) FIND aq SERIONS FaAL.. FALL> SO BE WISE MY SISTERS AND PLEASE DON'T TRY AND RUSH THINGS. WAIT PATIENTLY ON JEHOVAH AND ACCEPT THE BLESSINGS HE BRINGS. DON'T LOOK TO WoRLOLY | REMEMBER! BROTHERS THAT SERVE JEHOVAH MEN ASMATES, AT Your JOR ARE AT THE KINGDOM HALL. ORAT THE MALL.oikiore |) @ NA ea) LAD "i," |HE WAS SHOT IN THE GUT DUR- ING “THE BATTLE OF CROOKED RIVER IN 1838. BUT BACK TO PARIS TENNESSEE. PATTEN ONCE VISITED THERE. HE WAS ALSO A FOUNDING MEMBER OF THE COUNCIL OF 12 AND APOSTLE To JoSEPH SMITH. \ at i Sh He oe i i 2 eee sss = SS\y Wy) / \ wit mm YOU LOOK seen BUT I CANNOT LY FAMELLAR Tome, PLACE LT. LIKE SOMEONE WHY YES SIR. THE HEAVENS BEAM UPON ME. TAMA p mm Wy . \ \\ ] WSSON OF ADAM! SLAYER OF MY BROTHER ABEL! AFTERWARDS I WISHED FOR DEATH.MY MISSION Now IS TO DESTROY THE SOULS OF MEN. ny ) PATTEN EXPLAINED THISTo ji 1/1 THE COUNCIL OF [2 AND SO LT vn WAS PASSED DOIN THROUGH HIT HE GENERATIONS. rf Im F D>» b=. PeTHEY DROVE IT Peay INTO MY HEAD. FSH “THESE GARMENTS SERVE AS A REMINDER OF OUR FiITUSED To BE A LARGE ONE PIECE NIGHTSHIGT TYPE THING AND WOULD} HAVE STAYED THAT WAY FOREVER LF SoSePH SMITH HAD HIS WAY, Gop_ GAVE ME. THIS PATTERN! IT'S IT Wourd BE A GRIEVOUS SIN ‘To EVER CHANGE THESE GARMENTS BASED ON FASHION TRENDS. A MODERNIZATION OF THE GARMENTS."STEPHEN'S WOUNDS Bi STOPPED, @T THE SLEEVES OF HIS GARMENTS. I owe IT ALL To MY GARMENTS. RIDES WITHMe!YEAN,BUT THEN WM WAND HAVEN'T LHAD MY “LVEHAD NUN I BEEN TO TempLe IT" MOMENT. IN MONTHS. BuT I Had SOMUCH R TROUBLE GETTING RID mm I, OF MY TEMPLE GARMENTS. /SATAN ,WE WISH STILL OBJECT To FOR Nou ore THE he ae PeGSION Te:THEY SHOULD BE FORCED ONLY TO IT IS FREE WILL SERVE GOD! THAT WILL SAVE a IT IS SETLED THEN. WE WILL SEND JESUS To REDEEM MANKIND. I PRESUME THAT TWILL Be ABLE TO GET ONE-THIRD OF ALL SOULS To SOIN ME.BUT SOME SOULS FOUGHT LESS THAN VALIANTLY. I CHOOSE NOT Y= SS I OBJECT To THIS WAR! To FIGHT. IM A CONSCIENTIOUS OBJECTOR! AND GOD WAS SEVERELY DISPLEASEDWITH THOSE WHO WOULD NOT FIGHT. THEIR PUNISHMENT | ¥ WILL FIT THE CRIME!GOD GATHERED ALL OF THESE SOULS WHO WOULD NOT FIGHT. THE LORD HAD TURNED THE! SKIN BLACK! == a SS SS SSE on Vy ws f (i y Y) WD) ms \AND WHEN THESE SOULS WERE BORN ON EARTH , WELL... Ga Ea SS BUT JOSEPH FIELDING SMITH 10 PRESIDENT oF THE MoIZMon CHURCH SAID: EVERY MAN HAS HIS AGENCY \N_HEAVEN AND MEN RECEIVE REWARDS BASED ON THEIR ACTIONS THERE. 7 SOME CLASSES OF THE HUMAN FAMILY ARE BLACK UNCOUTH UNCOMELY, DIS- AGREEABLE AND LOW IN THEIR HARITS. THE NEGRO 1S EVIDENTLY RECEIVING THE REWARDS HE MERITS. THE AFRICAN RACE,wHo WERE DECENDANTS OF THE MURDEROUS BROTHER KILLER; CAIN: IF AWHITE MANMIXES HIS. BLood WITH A SEEDMORMON BOYS ARE BAPTISED BUT NEGROES WERE EXCLUDED FROM AS PRIESTHOOD HOLDERS AT 12. THIS PRACTICE, SINCE THE BEGINING. THEN MORMON PRESIDENT KIMBALL SPENT HOURS IN THE UPPER ROOM AT THE MORMON TEMPLE... THE CURSE ON THE NEGRO HASAn NA KARA Pe SAUTLAKE CITY AND FINALLY THE eras oo MORMONS HADLERO ng h TROUBLE BUILDING ~Y “TEMPLES IN PLACES LiKE SRO PAULO, BRAZIL. 7 WE IE COUDNT FIGURE OUT WHAT TO Do. H WHAT WITHTHE CURSED A RACE AND ALL.Delt -t aa JEWISH EU) GOVERNED BY ARCH- ANGEL GABRIEL: “THE SECOND HEAVEN IS RAQVE AND HAS TWO SHAMAYIM: THE FIRST HEAVEN ADAM AND EVE LIVE THEREAND THERE ARE SO MYRIADS OF ANGELS GUARDING THE PLACE. ffl SHEHAGIM 1S THE wir THIRD HEAVEN. TTS EDE! Wp VY GOVERNED BY ANAHEL. | 5 2 SOK NON Nees SS it AND CHEFS Too, FOR, THIS IS WHERE THEY PRODUCE “MANNAMACHEN: THE FOURTH] J HEAVEN IS RULED BY MICHAEL: eae! em Al y a Ph NT rm THE FIFTA HEAVEN 1S MACHON, RULED BY AMAEL, THE SIXTH HEAVEN 1S CALLED LUTTLE 1S KNOWN ABOUT ZEBUL EXCEPT THAT IT'S UNDER TURISDICTION OF q SACHIEL / om ZEBUL a‘THEN THERE IS THE HOLIEST OF ALL HEAVENS] 4 roar f ~ pw THE SEVENTH HEAVEN [atso: GoD! J] BUT IF YOU LOK of CLOSELY... S THE ABODE OF | {IT ALSO HOUSES THE UNBORN HUMAN SOULS. | | SERAPHIM: A SPEciAL CLASS OF ANGEL. VS CHERUBIM LIVE THERE AS WELL. THEY. HAVE FOUR FACES: HUMANAND LION. AND ALSO ANOTHER ANGEL CALLEDHAYYOTH LIVE THERE TOO. BUT THE HIGHEST 1S FIRDAWS . SOMETIMES. | IMES | SOMETES.. | "EDEN® IN ADDITION To BEING FREE OF PAIN INHABIT- ANTS ARE GIVEN IEXPENSWWE ROBES!Seieits. THEY ARE SERVED FROM] | BY IMMORTAL THEY ARE SERVED PRICELESS VESSELS. YOUTHS! DELICIOUS WINES AND. A] \HaDA FRIEND, HE WAS A CRICKET PLAYER BACK IN SECONDARY SCHOOL. HE'D CHUCK A GOOGLY | J BUT OF ALL THESE Tous: BY YOU , MAKE You THERE 1S A GREATER LOOK LIKE AFOOL BOY. Fou IN THIS PARA-THERE ARE SIX HEAVEN] | aut You REALLY CAN'T | | SAYUTA: MERGING LY PLANES ABOVE OUR BUT vot REP ee || INTO ONENESS WITHTHE YOU SEPARATE YOUR- Y SELF FROM THE CYCLE OF BIRTH AND DEATH. Topo THAT You MUST UNITE YouR SOUL WITH THE SU- PREME BEING IN ONE OF 5 WANs: BEING FREE OF ALL SALOKYA: LIVING WITH THIS 1S BEYOND ALL MATERIAL ANXIETY, THELORD IN WIS ABODE | JOTHER HEAVENS WHERE SARISTA: ATIAINING THE | | SARUPNA: ATAINING Samieya: a Close Sane JERE AS THE THE SAME BEAU TIFU! Ly ASSOCIATION wits THE LORD. ERE ARE S TYPESOF || SHANTA RASA: ANEUT-] [AND CONSTANT |__| LATIONSHIPS WITH [FERAL RELATIONSHIC OF J ITHINKING oF THE /f GREAT AWE.SAKHYA RASA:SERV} W.] ]ING THE LORD AS AN INTIMATE FRIEND. 17) Mapnurva/ SRINGARA RASA:INTIMATE LOVER|ALLOF OUR SOULS loccuPY EARTH. THEOSOPHY AFTER 1400 YEARS [THE LORDS OF KARMA Cal 'HE SOUL BACK TO) EARTH C/ aH AFTER A GOOD PERSON J |DIES THEY ARE SENT TO . YA |HEAVEN. oea ae \ al asa na neWMERE THEY RECEIVE AND NEVER AGAIN FEEL PAIN! NEW BODIES. NOTONLY THAT, BUT THIS | | YOUR FRIENDS AND FAM- ISA NEW SERUSALEM | [ILY, PROVIDING THEYRE NOT BURNING IN HELL, | PT tove yoo WILL BE THERE beth! THE COMPUTATIONAL CAPACITY OF THE UNI- VERSE WOULD ACCE Bese eo Ce ears CompPUTeR (YOU, ME AND EVERYTHING)THIS EMULATION, A |UJOULDGOON _INDEF- VIRTUAL REALITY INATELY, 77 ENVIRONMENT. zy HE ARGUES ALL MATOR HURDLES BY SAYING SCIENCE WILL FIND A THEN TGET ALL SHIVERY AND Look BUT THERE'S A NAGGING PART OF [E ME THAT SANS: TIPLER SUGGESTS THAT EACH PERSON WOULD CQEATE THEIR OWN REALITY, TY DR. TIPLER'S THEORY \ IS NOT WIDELY ACC EPTED BY THE SCI- ENTIFIC COMMUNITY, BUT CARTOONIST TOM. HART Says. SS IM PRETTY SURE ITS WRONG. =|DEMOR STABLE MANY ATHEISTS ACTIVELY BELIEVE AN ALL-POWERFUL GOD DOES NOT EYIST. BUT ITSNOT A“BELIEF™ ATALL. TT's ACTUALLY A RESPONSE To A 7 CLAIM. THE CLAIM OFTEN BEING: “THERE 1S A MAGICAL PRESENCE THAT IS ALL POWERFUL AND RUNS THE UNIVERSE.ATHEISTS DO NOT CLAIM THAT GOD DOESN'T EXIST. IN FACT MOST [ aero ee cece | Is NOT “THE SOB OF THE IT 1S THE JOR OF [ aero ee cece | To DO ANYTHING. THE ey be PROVE THERE |: -—_T] dy PZ LEHOW CAN ANYONE (WHO HAS EVER SEEN “TREE DENY Gob? WE DON'T FULLY UNDERSTAND HOW THE DNIVERSE “DEV-“THERE IS AN INVISIBLE UNICORN Latea SANDWICH REHIND THAT Wee. BiG SHIT,SO You ate A—— ar BUT LETS SAW YOU NEEDED To DO Your OWN RESEARCH Foe POOF, TA V AND INYoUR RESEARCH YOU FOUND SOME CRUMBS. ITS OVERWHELMING EVIDENCE BECQUSE EATING A SANDWICH IS NOT AN EXTRAORDINARY claim Sa SOE SZ FOO AND WE JUDGE THEM TO BE REAL AND DELICiouS.TO BELIEVE A UNICORN EXIST: IS THE EXISTENCE OF AN ALL-POWERFUL MAGIC BEING AN EXTRA ORDINARY CLAIM?So what would it Take? What 0 proof ? Vaal HIS GOD WouLD HAVE To et LF ToA CLAIM COUNTLESS | PEOPLE HAVE MADE BY THE WAY. AN OBJECT WHICH COULD NOT HAVE BUT EVEN IF 17'S DETEQMINED TWAT THE. OBJECT BREAKS ALL LAWS OF PHYSICS, ITS NOT NECESSARILYPERSONALLY, T May CONSIDER THIS EXTRA- ORDINARY EVIDENCE. BUT LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS.FIVE TIMES. AFTER YEARS OF THIS PRACTICE A MaARKOR Scar FORMS. IT's @ TRUE SIGN OF PIETY A SOURCE OF PRIDE.IT 1S SPECIAL, TIS @ GIFT THAT MARK. FROM GOD. AM I NOT WORTHY? aM I NOT PIOUS?INCREASINGLY, YOUNG MEN ARE DISPLAYING MARKS, LEADING PEOPLE TO BELIEVE SOME ARE TRYING TO GET IT USING SPECIOL TECHNIQUES. NOT OPEN. IN BUSINESS TOO.. aa "RAIS IN" nysa R BUMP Ni entered i Pn) DP yon iH ettTHE GREAT uP reer tee a THE DISAPPOINTMENT CONTINUES Tt JOHN NELSON DARBY WAS THE FIRST CHRISTIAN TO TEACH OF THE “RAPTURE | oN EVENT WHERE CHRISTIANS WOULD Lad SuEKeD uP mses AVOID DOOMSDAY. IN 1830. ris LINDSEY POPULARIZED THIS NOTION IN THE 1970'S By RQPERNIZ NG THEHALLINDSEY PUT PROPHECY INTO A NICE LITTLE PACKAGE.SOMETHING THAT'D SELL. IT'S GOTTA BE SOMEWHAT REAL. AND FINALLY JESUS’ RETURN WAS FULLY TIED TO ANNHILATION.MALL Md y) BUT LINDSEY WAS SMALL TIME FIRST, A SMALL NAME. AT FIRST. PUBLISHER PUBLISHED ZIT “THELATE GREAT PLANET EARTH? IGUESS WE A GENIUS BIG-TIME PUBLISHER SAW ITS PO- TENTIAL. AND HOUSEWIVES ME THING TO WERE INTRODUCED TO i THERE'S GOTTA My eeITWAS THE HIGHEST ‘SELLING OF THE 1970: WN 1982, THERE Wit. TBE ALVOLCANIC EXPLOSION THE SIZE OF 800,000 HYDROGEN BOMBS , RUSSIA WILL DOUBLE CROSS THE ‘UNITED STATES AND “THE SUN'S: RADIATION CAN DESTROY THE EARTHLINDSEY’S FIRST FAILED PREDICTION WAS IN 1981. IN DATE FOR THE RETURN OF \ JESUS CHRIST. EST HE CAME UP WITH THAT NUMBER BY STARTING WHICH 1S DEFINED AT THE BIRTH OF ISRAEL. BY LINDSEY AS 3S So YEARS. SSS AND ADDING A i Sz GENERATION. >) RenaYOU'D THINK THERE'D BE PEOPLE COME 1961. BUT NO. BECAUSE THE 90'S A WERE THE WET DREAM —— OF _~THE DOOMSDAY PROPHETS.1980'S COUNTDOWN TO ARMAGEDDON WAS LINDSEY'S ANSWER TO ALL OF HIS FAILED “PREDICTIONS IN THE LATE GREAT PLANET EARTH: NEW PREDICTIONS! BY 2000 , THERE WILL NOT BE ENOUGH FOOD To KEEP fe} eZ mee THERE 1S NO THATIS WHY SO FOR REALITY AND! REALITY EXCEPT BMMANY PEOPLE LIVE BP ENEVER ALLOW THE “THE ONE CON- SUCHAN UNREAL fff WORLD WITHIN-TO fff RETATION YOU No TAINED WITHIN: PRLIFE. THEY TAKE ff ASSERT ITSELF LONGER HAVE THE us. THE IMAGES OUT; CHOICE OF FOLLOWING SIDE THEM... “MAT WAY. THE CROWD. ao “THE MASORITY PATH ISTHE EASY ONE OURS 1S DIFFICULT.~ “THE TERM DESCRIBES FREUD HAD A THEORY THEMANNER IN WHICH OUR CALLED “THE NARCISSISI NEGATIVE FEELINGS OF SMALL DIFFERENCE: ARE DIRECTED AT PEOPLE WHO RESEMBLE US. WHILE WE TAKE PRIDE FROM THE SMALL DIFFERENCES THAT DISTINGUISHES US. FROM THEM,SO WHAT ARE THESE DIFFERENCES? REGION YOU LIVE IN? DOESN'T IT DUST ca DOWN TO WHERE WERE BORN? a ee | AREN'T THESE ALL SMALL DIFFERENCES? aCYNICAL “BLOOGER™ STEVE DENNIS ON “COEXIST* THE PEACE SYMBOL FOR THE “O* TOLD ME ALLL NEEDED TO KNOW, OR 90 I THOUGHT. JUST SOME ANTI-WAR LIBERAL. L DIDN'T GIVE ITA SECOND THOUGHT. BUT MORE RECENTLY LHAVE NOTICED MOoRE| AND MORE OF THESE BUMPER STICKERS... AND HAVE STARTED WONDERING THOPE THESE PEOPLE AREN'T WHAT THEN ARE TRYING TO SAY TO TRYING TO TELL ME TO COEXIST ME. WHAT DO THEY MEAN BY WITH RADICALS THAT WANT “COEXIST?” WHO DO THEY WANT ‘TO KILL ME AND MY TO "COEXIST WITA EACH OTHER FAMILN? SHOULD WE ALL JUST DRIVE AROUND WITH Bio “FUCK YOu" BUMPER. STICKERS ON OUR CARSTFEAR WAS GOOD WHEN WE WERE CAVEMEN. eR sea Rieti ies WHEN A CAVEMAN SEES ANOTHER WHO'S OUTSIDE BUT THINGS WERE DANGEROUS THEN AFTER ALL THIS NEW OTHER MIGHT TAKE YOURTO LIVE IN FEAR OF THE OTHER. IHAVE ANXIETY ISSUES ANYWAY, TO CONSTANTLY LIVE IN FEAR OF BEING DESTROYED. SOTHEY FIND COMFORT IN OTHERS WHO THINK LIKE THEY DO. +. AND WHO KNOWS WHAT THESE RADICALS WILLDO NEXT? \N SOME SORT OF UPCOMING BATTLE.THE ULTIMATE GOAL, BEING A CRAZY GAME OF _ THE EVERYONE ELSE ONE EARTH IS DESTROYED BUT THEM AND THE GOOD ONES. ba AS ae TR Se ood PEOPLE “THE DIFFER- ENCES WOULDGET SA CMn ADE CaneAND THIS MIGHT GO ON AND ON AD INFINITUM. UNTIL ALL THAT \S LEFT...NAM IS AKEY PRACTICE To BE PURSUED: dAdo Basal) 1st) a NAME OR A SACRED ad oy S si a, ee a - — THEY KEEP SHOWING MES: THE TOWERS GOING CAN WE'SEE (1? DOWN OVER AND OVER. fl Ee yi at ! | i a (ale 3 T]WE MUST STRESS BALANCE, THE FLOWERS ARE AND WE MUST COMING THIS MORNING STRIVE To HAVE FOR THE PLANTERS AN OPTIMISTIC OUT IN) FRONT. FINALLY. IT LOOKS HORRIBLE ATTHE STATION WITH NO FLOWERS OUT ESPECIALLY OUR FELLOW HUMANS. WE MUST DEFEND THERIGHTS OF ALL| LIVING THINGS.WE ARE TRAPPED INTHE CYCLE OF DEATH AND REBIR™ ‘TAM PROUD OF YOU, BALBIR. Pas YOUVE DONE WELL FOR US HERE IN MESA. St (ean | WE'VE COME FAR FROM PUNSAB. TO ESCAPE THE AFTER AGES PASSING CYCLE ONLY GOOD 2 THROUGH MANY DIFFERENT, DEEDS SHALL FORMS. ENDURE.REALIZATION OF TRUTH ALL HUMANS ARE IS HIGHER THAN ALL EQUAL. NO DISCRIM- ELSE. HIGHER STILL INATION BASED ON 1S TRUTHFUL LIVING. CASTE, CREED OR EVEN GENDER! TUST HOW THE LIGHT OF ONE LAMP LIGHTS ANOTHER. THE FLAME DOES NOT DIMINISH.I WAS 4O BEFORE BEGAN DRIVING A CAB IN SAN FRANCISCO.SIKH'S ARE REQUIRED TO MARRY WHEN “THEY COME OF AGE. Cat “THEY SHOULD CHOOSE A MATE WITHOUT REGARD) FOR CASTE OR DESCENT, 0 DYFUCKING 9TCAN'T BELIEVE CAN'T I THEY'RE GONE. BELIEVE IT. CHANGED.ttt ZILE- LR» PeeSn ‘THE NI SAYS IT'S GUY. a Ee a ee Ss Alte FTHIS 1S WHY PEOPLE COME TO MY GULF STATION. THESE FLOWERS ARE VeRy IMPORTANT. MY SURROUNDINGS ARE ARE A REFLECTION OF MY INNER-SELF.HELP MY BROTHER ees, a Gee Asne SOMEONE'S BEEN SHOT? aa aE eT |__| @ MAN CAME IN AND SHOT HIM. a GRINS sa-EACICH AMBULANCE + POLICE ARE COMING) HE YELLED SOMETHING AND FIRED TWICE! EAR i STAND FOR AMERICA ALL THE WAY! xr‘m oa PATRIOT. FRANK ROGUE 15 ISERVING A LIFE SENTENCE. BALBIR SINGH SODH! REMAINS DEAD.cle A PERSONAL fi io. RELIGIOUS HISTORY DEAR GOD: PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR ALL. THE SINS I HAVE DONE. T PRAY FOR PEACE Ny, WORLD LEADERS MAKE “THE RIGHT DECISIONS: ABOUT PEACE.PLEASE LET KERRY HANNON LIKE ME. PLEASE LET ME DO GOOD ON THE MATH TEST. THE REST OF THE PRAYER: CHANGED FROM DAY To DAY WITH DAILY STRESSORS, PLEASE PLEASE LET ME PLEASE LET Me Leacig tteeeael BE COOLER. I DON'T HAVE SEX BEFORE HE CAME HOME KNOW WHAT T'LL I TURN IF. DRUNK FROM THE a Do aoe WORK CARISTMAS T WASN'T INVITED PARTY... ) C adidddet 2} (ar nUK) PLEASE GET ME OUT OF THIS SOMEHOW.BUT WHERE DID THE PRAYER COME FROM? bredictions 800% orld Wat Mi. | I ve (hi cr iy yermaruraaacnrmeecany i i THAT IDEA SCARED Mi AND mt il G NWS | TT COUDN'T SLEEP . Mian \THAD ALREADY DEVELOPED " JAHEALTHY FEAR OF GOD BY ATTENDING CATHOLIC SCHOOL. “3 = } ’ Z i ZB 4 y 9 2 4 x ‘?, i eX, SCHOOL WAS HAPPY JUST TO ‘SEE DAD EVERY DAY. I THINK MY PARENTS SENT ME THERE ‘CAUSE IT WAS CLOSE TO MY FATHER'S GREETING CARD STORE WW \ DAD'S STOREBUT GRANDPA |WASTHE SOURCE. bo HE WAS VERY RELIGIOUS. BUT RELIGION LOST ITS POWER AS IT MOVED DOWN THE FAMILY TREE. GRAMPS PR NANA 4 WHILE I DON'T KNOW THE FULL NATURE OF EVERY- ONE'S BELIEF SYSTEMS, IFEEL SAFE IN SAYING, AT LEAST OUTWARDLY, Most OF THE KIDS OF MY DADS GENERATION (86%) ARE FAR LESS RELIGIOUS THAN NANA AND GRANDPA, \F THERE 1S A CHRISTIAN HEAVEN SURELY THEY'LL BE THERE ONE DAY. 8 BILLION COUSINS + SPOUSES OMITTED. *I HAVE ABROTHER + SISTER ALSO OMITTED ‘& FORILLUSTRATINE PURPOSES ONL GRANDPA'S STORY WerRe, TAKING GOD, IF YOU SANE ON WATERS THE ME TLL DEDICATE SHIP IS SINKING! 3 MY LIFE TO YOU. ME THE USS YORKTOWN WE THREATENED [\ 1S COMING TO SAVE US! TO BLOW'EM OUT "> < OF THE WATER. = => A P 3 7 (J We 3k UNVERIFIED,MY VOLTRON I DON'T REMEMBER BAcKPack Peg MUCH ABOUT CATHOLIC SCHOOL BEYOND THE WALK HOME. SS SSS << ES —— ES. AND SAMEON PUSHED AND BIBLE STORIES WITH ALL OF HIS MIGHT. HE PUSHED THE COLUMNS. SOHARD THE TEMPLE CAME CRUMBLING DOWN!e. =AND FOR A WHILE CHRISTIANITY LEAD THE WAY oe r Dt \ H f; T WONDER IFN COULD GO AWHOLE I AY WITHOUT A p SIN. ce yi I GUESS GOD WANTED ME TO FALL TO TEARCHME ALESSON ABOUT BEING SAFE. ny (fla _ te, ‘wuld aeTHEN I WAS AT A PARTY IN HIGH SCHOOL ‘I°M TELLING You, DUDE, ALL RELIGION THINK ABOUT IT: HOW ELSE COULD SOCIETIES DEVELOP? qASI WAS WALKING HOME DRUNK THAT NIGH NEVER ONCE CONSIDERING THE IDEA THAT HE MIGHT BE RIGHT.THE LAST ATTEMPT WE MADE AT CHURCH HMM... WANNA JUST GET BREAKFAST? jes Cnn |IN HIGH SCHOOL T READ ALOT OF ANNE RICE BooKs. ONE OF THE BOOKS EXPLORED THE CHRISTIAN MYTHOS, YES, THAT ANNE RICE. aT > AS EMBARASSING AS IT 1S, THIS DEFINITELY AFFECTED MY “THOUGHTS ON RELIGION.I EVEN READ A \T SEEMS FUNNY B00K BY TV PSYCHIC SILVIA TOME NOW, BUT I WAS BROWNE. TUSTLOOKING FOR ANSWERS, WHATEVER IT. WAS IN THAT BOOK IT MADE SENSE. THE STORIES THAT SHE MADE UP AND PRESENTED AS FACT MADE SENSE. ‘TO ME AT THE TIME ANYWAY. IT HELPED ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT DYING.Sylvia Browne 'n AFTER LIFE AFTER THE BRIEF TTING USED TO BEING DEAD* PERIOD, You LOOK OVER THE BLUEPRINTS You'D CREATED FOR YouR LIFE LAST TIME You WERE DEAD. YOU ALSO KIND OF RELIVE IT, AND YOU REALLY SEE HOW YoU AFFECTED PEOPLE. IT'S AT THIS POINT THAT YOU SEE HOW WELL OR HOW POORLY YOU DID AT LIFE. OTHERWISE: YOU JUST ENJOY THE AWESOME AFTERLIFE.EVENTUALLY A SOUL TIRES OF at || eee = MS | IN ng THE IDEA or Ed Ed ER IT ALL Seeks SE | Seeks SE | To MET TOOK A BREAK FROM GOD TO FOCUS ON PARTYING P TLIKE THINK THAT LIKE, THERE \S SOME KIND OF GOD THING BUT L ‘\ DON'T THINK LIKE, CHRISTIANITY 1S RIGHT, MAN. I CONSIDERED MYSELF “AGNOSTIC? WASN'T TOTALLY SURE WHAT THAT MEANT. Ss d BASICALLY, T \ | Pr] THINK THERE 1S “SOMETHING? a eed I WASN'T VERY canteen INTERESTED IN Piss. LEARNING OR THINKING ABOUT THAT STUFF MUCH," v ONE NIGHT I_WAS TALKING )) » TO MY UNCLE MATT... $0, WHAT DO YoU Bind fo) \ rll BELIEVE IN? i cr lo I WAS STUNNED. MATT BROWN DOESN'T BELIEVE ATALL? f\ > 7 BUT MATT BROWN 1S MY HERO. THIS WAS THE BEST EVIDENCE I'D HEARD TO DATE FOR THE NON-EXIST- ENCE OF A GOD. DRIVING HOME T REALIZED LATER THE REASON Was Semmes | =| Saree age Se teo8 CONFIR! * ERE Wi GOT REALLY AFRAID. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY: | WAS GOING TO DIE ONE DAY.Ci} matese) 9 ee Bem IN. in ea ead ibe ai" MONTHS MAYBE T—_—_—"——W/#§ CO) I LOVE LIVING IN THE REAL WORLD.Be ad Cee ala) As) a ATLEAST I GOT THIS ©-PACK.a fa WS tr fn tia wex 3 © « EF < x = 9 ON THE TRACKS!?I Don't BELIEVE ae ao BENING BEN IN SOME OTHER TYPE OF AFTERLIFE. A=W OUR HEROWILL HE'S DRUNK. GRADUATE FROM HIGHSCHOOL Tot ORROW. WITH BEN! SOME KIDS FALSELY WITHOUT THINKING “THE COPS FOLLOW) SAY BENS BROTHER: BEN REACTS! PUNCH- ATRAIL OF BLOCD WAS BEING HELD ING OUT A JEWELRY ‘TO BEN’S HOUSE . BACK IN St GRADE. STORE WINDOW. HE'S ARRESTED AT THE HOSPITAL.IWATCHED THIS | noe ABOUT KUNGOK.BEN, You'RE WORKING IN THE FREEZER SECTION, fene ane vour Yd COWORKERS. ees BEN HAS LEARNED ERFECT GHETTO PERUVIAN SPANISH] BEN-HAH-MEEN WORKS TOO HARD. HE'S A MANIAC.=i fi / | EGxz ayuda 242577 eZESr vy Bees of Sxfect . 255o) , > a oge5 rs SIN a = #3 \ Z2Frs - = “ue age haz WY? fig) = ReCa PUT SMALL BOX FILL_ WITH CONCRETE, Natu IT SHUT IN LARGER BOX COVER IN METAL, WITH LOTS OF MADE OF GRATING, SHEET ROCK.HE DUST RIDES BACK AND FORTH UNTIL WE'RE DONT A WITH DINNER. oeGreat Costumes (Halloween) Great Costumes (aa com) ONCE AT A PARTY J = —SS SSS eS ESS SSS SS ~~ I WAS WATCHING BEN TALKING TO AOROUP OF PEOPLE RSS SS wy Mga! Noy TWAS ALITTLE Lit MYSELI Sun ws xy AneTHERE'S NEVER @ BEEN ANYTHING PEOPLE ARE DRAWN LIKE HIM! HIM HE CAN RELATE ‘TO ANYONE. MY DAD GOES: “DON'T BE YELLIN’ AT HIM FoR THAT SHIT! Rae > San > XS psa ye SN SS -~ SO wooHOW'S THAT GUY | BEN DOING? HE'S INCREDIBLE. MONTHS, EVEN biaig cto nema Vela Nt Pn Ud INTO SOMEONE WHO WAS AT THE nae Iwas So [ERE | BUT SOM WHERE IN THE BACK oF” [ERE | MIND I THOUGHT... 10 tape NENT‘T. Box BROWN REING OF AND HOW T SHoULd BE T UNDERSTAND THAT SOUND MIND AND BODY, HONORED ON THE FUNERALS ARE MOSTLY EVENT OF MY DEATH. FOR THE LIVING. MEMORIAL SERVICES , L FEEL BUT, FROM MY EXPERIENCE oF ATTENDING VARIOUS FUNERALS AND THESE INSTRUCTIONS WiLL \ HELP MY LOVED ONES. NS | V ff it raeI HOPE To ESTABLISH A LIFE INSURANCE PLAN THAT WOULD COVER THE EXPENSE OF MY DEATH SO AS NOT TO BURDEN MY FAMILY, “THE INSTRUCTIONS FOUND HEREIN WILLBE ASSURING “THE COST OF TIME AND MONER ‘SHourd BE TAKEN INTo ACCOUNT WHEN PLANNING ME SERVICE.TwoulD HOPE THAT MY FAMILY COULD BE WITH ME AT MY TIME ea (A4 BUT SHOULD THEY NOT ITISMY THANE HEARD THAT SEEING WiSh THAT THEY GET'a MOMENT LOVED ONE'S BODY 1S HELPFUL IN ATTAINING CLOSURE. co BYE DAD. I IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARD MY BOON SHOULD BE PICKED UPBY THE FUNERAL PEOPLE ey SAV | DONoT wishTo Be EMBALMED OR VIEWED art —— ‘THOUGH A FUNERAL Home SHOULD PROBABLY BE CON- Fe etl Pr TACTED To COLLECT AND PREPARE MY oDY. PLEASE DONOT JALLOU) AN UNLICENSED INDIVIDUAL To HANDLE.| DONOT WISH To BE BURIED IN A CEMETARY. |) \ WISH To BE BURIED IN. AN AREA WHERE VEGETA- TION CAN GROW FREELY, NI y THERE SHOULD NOT @E A COFFIN. —_——IF MY FAMILY WISHES ‘To PLACE AMARKER NEAR MY BURIAL SITE, IT SHOULD HAVE a SIMPLE EPITATH. HERE LIES BOX BROWN ij @ MAN WHO ONCE LIVED. BuT LTHINK PLANTING ATREE ABOVE My GRAVE WOULD BE BETTER. AN OAK OR SOME OTHER STRONG TREE. | WISH FoR MY BODY To GINE ITS NUTRIENTS TO THE SOIL AND HELP THIS TREE GRow. E} It woud BE GUPER- EI AWESOME IF THE RooTS 5 Fi) GREW RIGHT THROUGH A Ei MY BODY. (ZAAFTER MY BURIAL, A MEM- ORIAL SHOUD BE HELD AT MY HOME OR AT THE HOME OF A FAMILY MEMBER. THIS IS THE TIME WHERE PEOPLE CAN COME To PAY THEIR RESPECTS To MY SURVIVING RELATIVE: IN LIEU OF FLOWERS FLOWERS SMELL GRosS | PLEASE BRING MY FAV- MAKE SOME PEOPLE ORITE FOODS. SICK AND WHOLLYHAVE HEAgD THAT \ Sore PEOPLES’ GRIEF COMES IN THE FORM FOODS SHOULD BE PRE- PARED FINGER-STULE FOR KIDS AND ADULTS. PIZZA FROM THE BEST LOCAL NEW YORK STYLE PIZZA PLACE: ASPARAGUS CAN RE PRE- PARED IN ANYWAY, BUT MOURNERS SHOULD LAUGH AT THE SMeu OF THEIR EET PEPPERS oS PLEASE SERVE THESE BEVERMCES:APHOTO OF ME SHOULD BE BLOWNUP To 9XI2 OR GREATER. I'M GONNA MISS You Bok. You WERE ONE OF “THE REST DUDES. A BOX, YOU OLD Son BITCH. SOMETIMES YOUWERE A EAL BaSTAgD! BuT T GUESS ULTIMATELY YOU WEE A GOOD DUDE. ‘UST TRY To REMEMBER THAT I WAS FAULTED IN LIFE AND I Wish TO BE REMEMBERED AS LT WAS INLIFE. I'M NO INA CASE WHERE No one HAS MUCH To SAY,SUCH AS HOW) , BOK WISHED FOR THIS QUOTE TO RE READ." AT AMEMORIAL SERVICE FOR FELLOW I BLATER VONNEGUT REMINISLED: NY HUMANIST ISAAC ASIMOV KURT 7 VONNEGUT SPOKE: ITWAS A WHILE BEFORE ORDER WAS RESTORED HUMANISTS WERE ISAAC 1S IN ROLLING IN THE AISLES. SHOULD T, } HEAVEN Now. GOD FORBID PASS ON SOMETIME, : TWoPE You SHoutd SAY KURT 1S UP IN HEAVEN NOW. CAG WetAFTERWARDS PEOPLE SHOULD FEEL FREE TO HANG OUT AND PARTY. IF PEOPLE FEEL THE NEED To CY THEY SHOULD DO CRYING 15,8. euysicaL RESPONSE To Your EMOTIONS SUST LIKE LAUGHTER. IT SHOULD BE EMBRACED.ALSO PLEASE PLAY THIS BoB DYLAN SONG: HE WAS A FRIEND OF MINE. HE WAS AFRIEND OF MINE. EVERYTIME I THINK ABOUT Hitt NOW LORD I JUST CAN'T KEEP FROM CYIN’ “CAUSE HE WAS A FRIEND OF MINE MOUQNERS MIGHT ALSO WANT TO LISTEN TO BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN.PLEASE DO NOT ENVOKE IF SOMEONE WISHES TO RELIGIOUS TRADITION OF REMEMBER ME IN A RELIGIOUS SENSE, PLEASE ASK THEM TO DO SO ON THEIR OWN TIME, BUT PLEASE KEEP IN MIND “THAT IT ISNOTMY BELIEF THAT TLL BE INQN AFTERLIFE OF ANY “ouch LAM OPEN ‘To THE POSSIBILITY “THAT THEE COULD BEAN AFTERLIFE.THE DIRECTION WHERE CHRIST WILL COME FROM, SATAN ZS BOUND FOR THE WHOLE MILLENTUM. Te Ee ess SS SSX AT THE MORMON ja MPLE. Lt Tt TT THE WICKED WILL AND FOR 1000 YEARS RE DESTROYED. MISSTONARN WoRK WILL CONTINU! fe EVERYONE WHo HAS EVER LIVED Ts REF URRECTEDGOD SENDS ALL THE TERRESTRIAL KINI DOM FoR THE OKAY PEOPLE. SOULS To DIFFERENT “THE CELESTIAL KINO- DOM FoR THE BEST PEOPLE. THE OUTER DARK- Ness FOR THE DI TERS oF GOD THE TELESTIAL KINGDOM FOR BAD PEOPLE (MURDER- ERS, ETC.) EVENTUALLY GOD WILL THE END TIMES BE- GAN IN 1914 WITH CLEANSE THE EARTH THE ASSASSINATIONOF OF WLICKEDNESS. Ria ARCHDUKE FERDIN- WITNESS — INSDATIAL, AN ANTI- CHRIST FIGURE APPEARS ON THE WORLD STAGE. AND THERE'S No MoRE SICKNESS OR DEATH. HE WILL UNITE PEOPLE OF ALL FATTHS UNDER. HIS NEw RELIGION. KILL ALL SHEA WHO LIVE AROUND THE EUPHRATES RIVER! WE WILL PAY FoR THEIR HANDS; EVEN TF THEY ARE NOT CRImTNALSY MAHDT,” THE LEADER. OF OUR TIME” APPEARS AND MAKES A SPEECH. iS “YAMANT LEADS A REVOLT. iG CR i > MhMAHDI RE-ESTABLTSHES | | MENAND Women ARE. IN ORDERTO BE TRUE ISLAM. RESURRECTED... TUDGED. NON- BELIEVERS EITHER CONVERTOR KILLING ALL HUMANS ON EARTH. xy & \ Kw {SE ‘THE PROCESS OF JUDGMENT “TAKES. THOUSANDS OF YEARS.AT OR AROUND THE YEAR 2240 (6000 IN THE JEWS ARE PRE- VENTED FROM ENTER- "ING THETR HOMELAND. THE GOVERNMENT BE- COME HERETICS. YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK GOD. OXY var THE THIRD JEWISH TEMPLE ARISES TIN TSRAEL. AFTER BABYLONIAN “TEMPLES ARE TRANS- PLANTED “To ISRAEL, VEGETATION STARTS To SPROUT. NOT UNTIL THE COVENANT OF CLRCUM- CISION ENDS! THE JEWISH MES- STAH TS CROWNEDOTe] ag Z 4a 3 f_| Vas) irc AND M LL ATTACK TSRAEL' G06 wAT THE END OF THE TEN HUNDREDTH WINTER... AND A VILE RAIN MORE NOXTZOUS THAN WINTER. FALLS. x THERE IS A SPIRIT- VAL BATTLE BETWEEN THE GOOD AND THE EVIL.BUT FORGIVEN AFTER THREE AT SOME POINT THE UNIVERSE WILL STOP EXPANDING AND BEGIN CoN- FORCING ALL OF TRACTING. THE UNIVERSE INTO ASINGLE BLACKHOLE asMore than anything, Everything Dies’ chief success is that it is an exercise in theological reverse-engineering, breaking down theunfathomable whole to better understand all of its working parts. Until Moses comes down from Mt Sinai with the instruction manual, I, for one, am more than happy to watch Box Brown work on it. Martin Steenton, Avoid the Future blog *Notable comic in The 2011 Best American Comics UNIT Hg 229. Anthology 519 *Winner of two 2011 Ignatz ' Awards (Best Series, Best Mini- 81105"25096 comic for Ben Died of a Train.)