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ACT ONE Prologue A gate area of a large, ultra- modern airport—circa 1960s. Lights fade up. We hear the sounds of JETS taking off and landing. ANNOUNCEMENTS murmur throughout. Courtesy phones, pages for passengers, calls for specific airlines and flights, mentioning long-gone airlines like TWA, Braniff, and Pan Am. VOICE OVER ANNOUNCEMENT Welcome to Miami Dade International Airport. Braniff flight 663 service to New York’s Idlewild Airport is now boarding. PASSENGERS hurry back and forth, to and from their flights. FRANK ABAGNALE, JR. has been sitting on an airport chair reading the newspaper. FBI Agents enter, revolvers drawn: BRANTON and DOLLAR. They mistakenly pursue an airline passenger running for his flight. BRANTON There he is! Hold it right there! DOLLAR Stop or I'll shoot! AGENT CARL HANRATTY enters from Stage Right. As with the other agents, we don't see much beneath the fedora. HANRATTY Hold your fire! Where the heck is he? He’s not giving us the slip this time. Frank Junior, carrying a suitcase, rises from the chair and quickly runs up the aisle. Hanratty looks off stage, then notices Frank Junior exiting in the house. Frank Junior, still carrying his suitcase, quickly reverses course and jumps up onto the stage with AGENT COD on his tail. The Agents chase him. Wait a minute, Men. There he goes! That’s him! Goddangit that’s him!
BRANTON Don't move! DOLLAR I'll shoot! I will shoot! Frank Junior hesitates ... COD And he's a really bad shot. ... then takes off again. Hanratty gives chase. HANRATTY Dammit! COD (overlapping) There. There he is! BRANTON (overlapping) No you don’t! DOLLAR (overlapping) I'm gonna shoot! A deafening SHOT stops everyone in their tracks. The Passengers all stop and stare. FRANK, JR. drops the suitcase which falls open, exposing its contents. Large quantities of cash. HANRATTY For the love of—Dollar, what does "hold your fire" mean where you come from? DOLLAR
I fired a warning shot, Agent Hanratty! COD
(squints at ceiling)
I think you shot down a plane. FRANK JUNIOR That was close! You could hurt someone. HANRATTY Come on, Frank. I'd rather take you alive than dead. FRANK JUNIOR Can I at least make a statement first? HANRATTY At the airport? No. FRANK JUNIOR I'm sure these people want to know why you're shooting at me.
(Looks to them: they kind of do)
I think they should know who I am and what I did and why I did it.
HANRATTY This is one of your tricks. Men! (Jerks his head to the Agents, who close in) You're not going to fool me again, Frank, like you did in that hotel room in L.A. You're not putting on a show for these people. FRANK JUNIOR A show? (MUSIC: A figure from the orchestra—we'll call it our STINGER. Frank Junior looks at us and smiles.) A show. (Frank Junior snaps his fingers. MUSIC CONTINUES with a huge timpani roll. A sudden reveal shows a lavish backdrop and tuxedoed ORCHESTRA on a jazzy bandstand.) We need some lights. (He waves his arm. Lights change.) COD The hell is he doing? FRANK JUNIOR A studio audience. HANRATTY Misdirection. It's a con. That's the technique. FRANK JUNIOR Cameras. And the Frank Abagnale Junior Orchestra! (He waves to the Orchestra, the CONDUCTOR acknowledges, and launches into the song proper.) HANRATTY Frank, what the hell are you doing? Branton, Cod, get everyone out of here. (As the other agents hurry the passengers to the exits, Hanratty edges upstage to check out the orchestra, keeping his gun on Frank Junior ... ... who crosses downstage to us.) FRANK JUNIOR My name is Frank William Abagnale ... Junior. This is my story. HANRATTY These people have musical instruments.
I stole every nickel of it. (He sings to us. you're coming in. HANRATTY You think your life is a T. Modesty has never been one of my virtues. Like we used to watch. all under assumed names.. GUIDE! (The groove kicks in. I saw it all! Well I mean. I flew almost five million miles as a Pan Am pilot.) ENSEMBLE (on Frank Junior's "color") LIVE IN LIVING COLOR . and worked as a prosecutor for the State of Lousiana. Hanratty comes downstage and notices us. that’s enough. when that shot rang out. practiced medicine at a top Atlanta hospital. the highlights. and Hanratty finds himself surrounded by dancing bodies . I'M LIVE IN LIVING COLOR SO SIT BACK AND LET ME BE YOUR T. Hanratty points the gun at Frank Junior. Now. but only I know just how I did it. FRANK JUNIOR True story. HANRATTY Virtue has never been one of your virtues. Frank.. As he does. and tries not to be too unsettled. And I did it in style. Mister Hanratty thinks he has all the facts.) HANRATTY All right. special? FRANK JUNIOR I know. my whole life flashed before my eyes. (sings) I GOTTA STORY I'D LIKE TO TELL BUT I'M GONNA NEED HELP TO TELL IT WELL I GOTTA STORY ABOUT FAME AND MONEY AND IT'S GOT MORE CURVES THAN A PLAYBOY BUNNY I WANNA LIVE NOT JUST SURVIVE I WANNA TELL MY STORY LIVE AND IN LIVING COLOR! (The ENSEMBLE has entered.4 FRANK JUNIOR I was a millionaire twice over and half again before I was twenty-one.) SONG: LIVE IN LIVING COLOR FRANK JUNIOR LIVE IN LIVING COLOR LET ME TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE YES.V. FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty.V. mom and dad and me. Like on a television special or something.
and he ducks. The Ensemble dress Frank Junior for the show." FRANK JUNIOR Oh. as Frank Junior continues. HANRATTY He likes girls.) FRANK JUNIOR SOMETHING SPECIAL'S UP TONIGHT YES I'M FRANK JUNIOR + ENSEMBLE LIVE IN LIVING COLOR FRANK JUNIOR LIFE AIN'T LIVED IN BLACK AND WHITE! (speaks) Ladies and gentlemen. Tell the folks.. flails. Folks. you mean like the story of how Superman became Superman? HANRATTY (half beat) Your ability to pull myth from manure is truly impressive. listen. he had stolen almost one-point-eight million dollars. by the time this guy was twenty years old.! (speaks) Also starring my parents. plain and simple. Has been since the age of sixteen.. and bring in the set. FRANK JUNIOR Thank you! FRANK JR.5 (. how "I like girls" becomes "I'm wanted on five continents. Frank. When he got caught his only excuse was— FRANK JUNIOR I like girls. and fights his way out to one side. when he bilked twenty grand from his father's Mobil card to buy presents for girls. Frank and Paula Abagnale! .) HANRATTY Hold on. + ENSEMBLE LIVE IN LIVING COLOR FRANK JUNIOR AND IT'S BROUGHT TO YOU BY ME YES IT'S LIVE IN LIVING COLOR ENSEMBLE LIVE IN LIVING COLOR FRANK JUNIOR THIS WON'T FIT IN YOUR T.V. the Frank Abagnale Junior Singers and Dancers! (Hanratty fights his way through the Frank Abagnale Junior Singers and Dancers and speaks to us. He's a con man.
with ROGER and CAROL STRONG behind her) BRENDA Hi.. I interviewed both your parents. A little village called Montrichard. beautifully. Cheryl Ann! And introducing the Strong family. They are mirrored by two other dancing couples.. (They dance.. and they dance off with the other couples. (Hanratty steps in. FRANK JUNIOR Also starring Playboy's Playmate of the Year. Listen. FRANK SENIOR (To us) All the people in that little French village were so happy to see Americans that they decided to put on a show for us. Cheryl Ann . you no good sonofabitch— FRANK JUNIOR Thank you. faithful and true Brenda Strong. and begin to dance together. My dad was a GI. The men are literally holding their breath. Frank! .! (Lights on BRENDA. and she starts to dance . After the war.. PAULA I always get into trouble when I dance with you. I could watch them dance all night. come on. R.) My parents met in France.) CHERYL ANN I'm surprised you even remembered my first name. who's pissed. don't try to sell me [some sentimental picture of domestic bliss]— (Frank Junior plows forth as MUSIC CHANGES.6 (MUSIC CHANGES. FRANK SENIOR and PAULA enter in a sweep.N.) FRANK JUNIOR When I was a kid.) HANRATTY [continuing as needed] Frank. Stunning and romantic. So they crammed two hundred soldiers into a tiny social hall and the first person to walk on stage is your mother. sweet. featuring the beautiful. Something! (Lights on CHERYL ANN. And I turned to my buddies and I said— FRANK SENIOR + FRANK JUNIOR —I am not leaving France without that woman. My mother was young and beautiful. Frank Junior watches. Frank Senior sweeps Paula off her feet.
BOP-BOP . And says. You let me finish. Hanratty I’ll make you a deal.) HANRATTY All right. FRANK JUNIOR You're gonna be great. HANRATTY Okay. And you’ll have a full confession. will you wait for me over there? I'll let you know when it's time. BOP-BOP JUST KEEP 'EM GUESSING SHOO-BEE DOO-WOP. BRENDA Frank. too. you’re one of the stars. We owe each other that much. BRENDA Frank. Frank Junior watches. In fact. deal. don’tcha think? I’ll get to tell my story. I've got this show to do and you're gonna be in it. I think you want the rest of the story. HANRATTY I know the whole story – All right. Frank. I love you. I've heard all I can hear. there’s something that still bugs me. Now. Listen. wait a minute. Or whatever you're calling yourself today … wait … where am I going? (Hanratty disappears down the center elevator lift) FRANK JUNIOR WHAT'S IN A NAME? JUST WINDOW DRESSING SHOO-BEE DOO-WOP. FRANK JUNIOR I don’t believe you. Frank. and I’ll tell you anything. How’d you pass the bar exam? In New Orleans? How’d you cheat the bar? FRANK JUNIOR All right Mr. (Hanratty has had enough. BOP-BOP EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT IT'S THE CLOTHES THAT MAKE THE MAN CLOTHES THAT MAKE THE MAN PLAY THE GAME SHOO-BEE DOO-WOP. I wouldn’t do this for anyone but you. Brenda. (Brenda exits with her parents. to himself:) FRANK JUNIOR I loved you. BOP-BOP MIX AND MATCH ME TRY TO CATCH ME IF YOU CAN OH. I don't want to hear any more.7 FRANK JUNIOR Hi. I GOTTA STORY THAT'S STRANGE BUT TRUE ENSEMBLE SHOO-BEE DOO-WOP.
The ensemble break their tableaux and dance in the background as Frank Junior speaks to us — our host.. New Rochelle. New York. YES I'M LIVE IN LIVING COLOR BLINK YOUR EYES BLINK YOUR EYES AND I'LL BE GONE LIVE IN LIVING COLOR LIVE IN LIVING COLOR LIVE IN LIVING COLOR BLINK YOUR EYES BE GONE! SONG ENDS.. YES I'M LIVE IN LIVING COLOR BLINK YOUR EYES AND I'LL BE GONE. (MUSIC begins again. and the Ensemble comes forward—and set the stage for the Abagnale home. A beautiful house on the best street. our story begins on Christmas Eve.) FRANK JUNIOR Ladies and gentlemen.8 I GOTTA STORY THAT'S STRANGE BUT TRUE SO COME FLY WITH ME FOR A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW SO COME FLY WITH ME FOR A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW I'VE GOT THE WORLD AT MY COMMAND I'VE GOT THE WORLD AT MY COMMAND AND I'LL BE YOUR ONE-MAN DISNEYLAND AND I'LL BE YOUR ONE-MAN DISNEYLAND I DON’T WANNA WAIT FOR THE COPS TO ARRIVE I WANNA TELL MY STORY LIVE AND IN LIVING COLOR LIVE IN LIVING COLOR TUNE ME IN AND TURN ME ON. YES I'M LIVE IN LIVING COLOR TUNE ME IN AND TURN ME ON. The Abagnale home. 1964. (Frank Junior goes.) . The house everyone wanted. and the family everyone wanted to be.) SONG: LIVE IN LIVING COLOR (TAG) ENSEMBLE LIVE IN LIVING COLOR TUNE ME IN AND TURN ME ON LIVE IN LIVING COLOR BLINK YOUR EYES AND I’LL BE GONE (As we complete the TRANSITION TO .
PAULA Frank. I DO have dinner going(But she starts to dance with him. right there . a television set.) ENSEMBLE (ON TV) LIVE IN LIVING COLOR … LIVE IN LIVING COLOR … SONG ENDS. PAULA But – so that I understand – you left this morning with a Cadillac and two hundred dollars and come home with a Christmas tree. Frank Jr. FRANK SENIOR How about that thirteen-inch screen? FRANK JUNIOR It’s like Andy Williams is right here in our living room..9 Scene 1: Living Room. Frank Junior is watching a small color television set. you're right—everything is better in color. Frank.one hundred percent acrylic. FRANK SENIOR It’s that Abagnale magic. and a used Ford? FRANK SENIOR Can I strike a bargain or what? I left those guys with their heads spinning. FRANK SENIOR It’s the genuine spirit of real Christmas.) FRANK JUNIOR Wow Dad.. and the dancers move to the background and then disappear. Frank Senior watches her. PAULA It truly is a beautiful tree. is still with the television. Paula opens the Christmas Tree. and the SINGERS fade from house speakers to the television set—they're on the show Frank Junior is watching. . PAULA I think I know the feeling. C’mon – dance with me. New Rochelle (. The Abagnale House.
A house. FRANK JUNIOR Oh. There’s always another move to make. didn’t those guys know you were getting away with something? FRANK SENIOR People only know what you tell them. Don't tell your mother. He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into butter … FRANK SENIOR AND FRANK JUNIOR … and he climbed out. you're in their little club. investigation. FRANK JUNIOR Thanks. I didn’t get the loan. (She goes. Dad. FRANK JUNIOR You didn’t – but I thought you saidFRANK SENIOR I got something better.S. FRANK SENIOR And who are we? . PAULA (pulls away) I really should see to dinner. use the loan to tide the business over until you can get the Caddy back.) FRANK JUNIOR That’s great you got the loan. use the extra cash to pay the mortgage. FRANK SENIOR Listen to me. it’s just a technicality. FRANK JUNIOR But why didn't they give you the loan? FRANK SENIOR Ah. The second mouse wouldn't quit. a car. (hands him a checkbook. use the mortgage to leverage the bank loan. Dad. FRANK SENIOR Shh. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned. Two little mice fell into a bucket of cream. FRANK JUNIOR But Dad. why did you — FRANK SENIOR One day you’re gonna want something from these people. They won't loan to anyone under I. But if they didn't give you the loan. And this means from this day on.10 FRANK SENIOR Nothing’s too good for my boy or my bride. I put twenty-five dollars in it so you can buy whatever you want. The account's in your name. Frankie.) Fifty checks.R. You remember this story. They have all the money. It’s all a dance – swap the Caddy for the Ford.
that’s too expensive. FRANK SENIOR Frankie. THOSE LADIES GAVE THANKS TO US VISITING YANKS CAUSE THE PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT THEY SEE (Frank Senior is joined by a bevy of BEAUTIFUL GIRLS in Yankee pinstripes. WHAT SHE SAW … WAS THE UNIFORM! THROUGH THE DIRT AND DEBRIS YEAH. It's the uniform. As a matter of fact. It's not Joe Pepitone.) FRANK JUNIOR (to us.) The other teams just stand there. WHAT THEY SEE IS THE UNIFORM HOW IT FITS TO A TEE LIKE THAT VISITING TEAM THAT THE YANKEES WILL CREAM THE PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT THEY SEE BEAUTIFUL GIRLS OOOOOOOH SMILE AND RELAX SMILE AND RELAX . mesmerized. my dad—Frank . The Dodgers were so scared they had to leave town. Frank Junior comes downstage: our host. We're gonna be fine. staring at the pinstripes. You know why the Yankees win all the time? It's not the Mick. Senior! FRANK SENIOR WHEN A PILOT WALKS ONTO THE PLANE ALL THE PASSENGERS SMILE AND RELAX DO THEY SEE HE’S STILL TIGHT FROM THAT PARTY LAST NIGHT AND THE BACK TO BACK “JACKS”? STEWED TO THE MAX FRANK SENIOR NO!. SONG: THE PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT THEY SEE FRANK SENIOR WHEN YOUR MOTHER WALKED INTO THAT DANCEHALL IN MONTRICHARD WHAT DID SHE SEE? THROUGH THE HAZE OF CHAMPAGNE DID SHE NOTICE MY BRAIN OR MY COLLEGE DEGREE? KID. FRANK JUNIOR Dad.11 FRANK JUNIOR We're the second mouse.. the smartest man I know. A brand new Botany 500 suit... pausing as needed) Ladies and gentlemen. you know what ? We're going downtown to buy you your Christmas present.. Abagnale . FRANK SENIOR Damn straight we are. The man with all the moves. (MUSIC.
12 (The Beautiful Girls surround Frank Junior. and he emerges dressed smartly in his prep-school blazer. MUSIC CONTINUES as we CONTINUE TO:) . Jack Barnes and Paula enter. Jack goes to Frank Senior and shakes his hand.) IF YOU WANNA BE A SOMEONE YOU CAN’T LOOK LIKE A BUM A BOOK’S JUDGED BY IT’S COVER THAT’S THE FIRST RULE OF THUMB I WANNA SEE YA TAKE OFF STRAIGHT TO THE TOP FLOOR START DRESSIN’ TO IMPRESS ‘EM SON YOU'LL STROLL IN THE FRONT DOOR A KID IN A MAN’S CANDY STORE … (As Frank Junior speaks to us. Paula comes to Frank Junior. not quite separately.
) FRANK JUNIOR Shouldn’t you boys be in class? Depechez-vous. You do what you have to do. you don't have to wear your school blazer.I. (Lights change. what's the Flash without his suit? Anyway. Frank Junior looks at us and smiles. FRANK JUNIOR I'm used to it.) JOCK Yeah. Frank Junior heads to school.) .? (The two students LAUGH and move past him. (STINGER.. FRANK JUNIOR I’ll be fine. Vite. you do look handsome. the head of the Chamber of Commerce. like a substitute teacher or somethin'. Vite. and goes. PAULA Well. Jack Barnes. I mean. And. Frank Senior and Paula are with a dour female PRINCIPAL. You aren't afraid of anything. You're going to public school now. public school is only for now. Vite.13 Scene 2: New Rochelle High School FRANK JUNIOR Everybody loved my dad.. He looks like a . Francis before you know it. Comme tu es beau! (She sighs.B. called him— FRANK JUNIOR AND JACK BARNES —the most popular businessman in New Rochelle! PAULA Frankie. Dad'll get back on his feet and I'll be back at St. PAULA My brave little soldier. Mom. He is met by a JOCK and a NERD) FRANK JUNIOR 'Scuse me. is this room 17 French? NERD (checking his outfit) Who wants to know? The F. kisses him on the cheek. the Jock accidentally-on-purpose bumping Frank Junior and sending him stumbling.
Glaser's French class. giving out homework. As Frank Senior shakes hands with the Principal. And Frank Junior LAUGHS. outside the Principal's office. PAULA He what? PRINCIPAL Your son has been pretending to be a substitute teacher.) PAULA You have to forgive him. who exits opposite. Is it yours? (He pulls a locket necklace from his pocket. and was planning a class field trip to a French Fry Factory in Trenton. putting on his hat. nervously. There's been so much change. Looks at his son.) PAULA Frankie … Je ne peux pas. Abagnale.) FRANK SENIOR AND FRANK JUNIOR YEAH. WE’RE GONNA BE AT RINGSIDE LIFE WILL BE BETTER THAN BEFORE FOR TWO KIDS IN A MAN’S CANDY STORE . We lost our house— FRANK SENIOR (smoothly cuts her off) Principal Owings. I found this necklace on the floor.) FRANK SENIOR French fry factory?! (Finally. PRINCIPAL Well.14 PRINCIPAL OWINGS Mr. WE’RE GONNA HIT THE HIGH-LIFE WE’VE ONLY JUST BEGUN WE’RE GONNA BE TOGETHER FRANK SENIOR AND SON DINE AT “THE LATIN QUARTER” A NIGHTCAP AT “TOOTS SHOR” YEAH. (But she takes it. I regret to inform you that for the past week. Your son held three teacher-parent conferences yesterday. Paula goes to Frank Junior. please. Frank Senior takes her place.) PAULA Frank. and Mrs. who slowly meets his gaze. Frank has been teaching Mrs. Lecturing the students. FRANK SENIOR You must have dropped it. Looks like it was made for you. on my way in from the outer office. (She shakes her head again and goes. Frank Senior LAUGHS. Mister Abagnale. (Frank Junior waits.
(Frank Senior claps his son on the shoulder and goes. Frank Junior moves to follow, but sees BETTY.) FRANK JUNIOR Hi. BETTY Hi. Is the Principal in her office? I need to give her this note from my mother, excusing me from sixth period. FRANK JUNIOR You should fold it. It's more believable that way. BETTY No, this really is a note from my mother. FRANK JUNIOR What's the first thing you do when your mother hands you a note? You fold it up and put it in your pocket. (A half-beat, and Betty folds the note.) BETTY Thanks. I'm Betty. FRANK JUNIOR Frank. BETTY Nice jacket. (She plants an impulsive kiss on his cheek, and goes. He swoons and sings.) WHAT THEY SEE IS THE UNIFORM JUST ASK ONE MAITRE D’ OR A TAILOR IN PARIS GO ASK ROGER MARIS! THE PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT THEY SEE (Frank Junior dances his way home as we TRANSITION TO ...)
Scene 3: The Abagnale Apartment, Downtown New Rochelle (... and as Frank Junior dances right on in the door, his mother and father dance on opposite. But with a turn, in an instant, we see that it's not his father. It's JACK BARNES. And Frank Junior sees this, and they see him. MUSIC STOPS suddenly.) SONG ENDS. FRANK JUNIOR Mom, Dad I met this girl – PAULA Frankie! You remember your father's friend, Jack Barnes? FRANK JUNIOR Hello. JACK BARNES Frank. Good to see you. Paula … I … Take care. (He grabs his hat and goes. Frank Junior is silent.) PAULA Are you hungry, Frankie? I'll make you a sandwich. (Frank Junior doesn't move.) Frankie? (No answer.) You're not going to tell him. FRANK JUNIOR No. PAULA That's right. There's nothing to tell. I'm going out for a few hours to visit some old friends from the tennis club, and when I get back, we'll all have dinner together, right? (Frank Junior rubs his eyes. Paula gets her pocketbook.) Do you need some money, Frankie? A few dollars to buy some comic books? Here, take two. (She stuffs two dollar bills in his pants pocket. He doesn’t acknowledge her. Then …) FRANK JUNIOR Two hundred soldiers in that tiny social hall, and you ... you ... PAULA I was sixteen years old when I met your father. I was your age. How could I know what I wanted? Dites donc?
FRANK JUNIOR You wanted him. PAULA I did, once. And I wanted to get out of France. And I wanted to have a child. (She reaches for him, but he pulls away.) (considers him, then) It was a long time ago, Frankie. Believe me, one day you'll look at yourself, and you won't be who you were. (He turns away from her and walks into his bedroom: piles of comic books, a "Flash" bedspread. He takes his jacket off and tosses it.) SONG: SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN FRANK JUNIOR THERE’S NO PHONE BOOTH THERE’S NO CAPE THERE’S NO STEVE MCQUEEN TO HELP ME MAKE MY GREAT ESCAPE HOW CAN I FLY LIKE A HERO IN THE SKY BE A SHOOTING STAR OUT IN THE STRATOSPHERE WHERE’S “THE SHADOW”? HE MIGHT KNOW WHERE’S THAT SEARCHLIGHT IN THE SKY TO POINT THE WAY TO GO? THROUGH SOME NEW CLOUD TO DISAPPEAR INTO THE CROWD THOUGH THE FUTURE’S DARK THERE’S ONE THING CRYSTAL CLEAR THAT THERE’S NO HOME HERE … (MUSIC CONTINUES as we TRANSITION TO:)
DON’T JUMP THE TRACK TRY A NEW GAME AND PRAY THAT I CAN WIN . JUDGE It can get very expensive. listen to me. and as the bedroom goes away. people fighting over their children..) FRANK JUNIOR (to us) One day the principal pulls me out of class and drives me to the Courthouse. and this will all be over. I walk in and I see my parents up front. (The adults continue. Do what you have to do.) FRANK JUNIOR SO MANY VOICES TELLING ME TO CHOOSE JUDGE The court can decide these things. but it's better if the family does. It's going to be okay.18 Scene 4: Family Court and Train Station. Doesn't tell me why. Nobody's fighting. Frankie. (. FRANK JUNIOR THIS KINDA NOISE JUST MAKES ME WANNA SHOUT PAULA My brave little soldier. Frankie. I’ve got no room to move here. just give them a name.. FRANK JUNIOR I’D LIKE TO BUY A ONE-WAY TICKET OUT FRANK SENIOR I’m sorry. FRANK JUNIOR IT’S LIKE A GAME WHERE EITHER TEAM I LOSE FRANK SENIOR Frankie. Look at me.. We just need a name. overlapping. with their lawyers..) JUDGE Son. as Frank Junior sings to us. Your mother or your father. Frank Junior comes downstage for that "break-in-a-ballad" confessional moment. New Rochelle (The Family Court Judge appears with Frank Senior and Paula . and the judge. FRANK JUNIOR RULES OF THE ROAD SAY DON’T LOOK BACK EYES STRAIGHT AHEAD. PAULA Nobody's fighting.
) — and I spin some tale about meeting my grandmother at Idlewild while I ask for my change. MUSIC CHANGES. as the Railroad Agent continues as if Frank Junior is still just in the scene with him. Keep talking. or in this case my money back. and I'm not proud of this but my instincts took over. Misdirection. COMMUTERS hurrying to and fro.) COMMUTERS HOO-HOO. He holds out a couple of crumpled bills) FRANK JUNIOR One for Grand Central Station. so now I have four dollars which is enough for my one way ticket to Manhattan. You have two. and in his confusion he thinks he owes me change. One way is three. isolating Frank Junior. using a nifty bit of sleight-of-hand. (The Railroad Agent holds up the bills. without pause. who turns to go. Frank is on the street. RAILROAD AGENT Round trip is five dollars.19 'CAUSE I JUST DON'T FEEL AT HOME IN MINE SO I'LL SLIP NOW INTO SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN (And as the music hits a driving groove. Lights change. and waiting for my change. but:) RAILROAD AGENT Hold it! FRANK JUNIOR What? . I just knew I had to get out. Frank Junior turns and runs. And I take my money back from the ticket seller and I make it disappear — (He does. so I didn't really know what I was doing. MUSIC CHANGES.) FRANK JUNIOR Okay. Maintain eye contact. please. because I don't plan on coming back— (The Railroad Agent takes the money from Frank Junior. what? FRANK JUNIOR — but I keep talking. and he gives me two dollars. HOO HOO (The RAILROAD AGENT appars and Frank Junior approaches. even though he doesn't owe me any change — RAILROAD AGENT Wait. and speaks rapidly. He looks at us. The Family Court disappears.
. Track Two. but you do what you have to do. SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN. Like I said. The New Haven line.) They wanted me to choose . (MUSIC CONTINUES as we TRANSITION TO:) OO-OO-OO FULL OF TEARS COMMUTERS RUN DOWN THE STREET RUN OUT OF TOWN RUN FROM THE BOOKS 'CAUSE IT'S ALL BEEN A FAKE AH AH AH AH TODAY HOO-HOO HOO-HOO AH-AH AH-AH AH-AH AH-AH SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN. (MUSIC STARTS TO BUILD as he continues. SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN. I'm not proud of it. SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN.. and I chose. and this is the way I found. SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN. I had to find a way out..20 RAILROAD AGENT Your ticket. SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN. the ten-fifteen to New York City! FRANK JUNIOR RUN DOWN THE STREET RUN OUT OF TOWN I'M GONNA RUN FROM THE HOME TEAM AND NEVER TOUCH DOWN RUN FROM THE BOOKS 'CAUSE IT'S ALL BEEN A FAKE I'M GONNA RUN FROM THE CHOICES THAT I DON'T WANNA MAKE SCHOOL'S NOT OUT BUT I CAN'T WAIT IT'S THE PERFECT TIME TO GRADUATE TODAY I'VE GOTTA RUN AWAY NOW I'VE GOT TO RUN AWAY I KNOW THEY'LL SEE THE TRUTH WHEN I MOVE ON THEY'LL NEED EACH OTHER MUCH MORE ONCE I'M GONE AND WHEN I'M FLUSH AND HE'S BACK ON HIS FEET I'LL PICK HIM UP AND RIDE DOWN EASY STREET NO TIME TO CRY FOR ALL THE YEARS A RUSTY GAS TANK FULL OF TEARS GETS YOU NOWHERE NOT THE PLACES I WANT IN AND I JUST DON'T FEEL AT HOME IN MINE SO I'LL SLIP NOW INTO SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN. FRANK JUNIOR Thanks.
And if Frank Taylor wears out his welcome— ELMER’S GLUE ASSISTANT (with Elmer's Glue) You can be Frank Adams! ATTRACTIVE ASSISTANT #2 Or Frank Conners. Manhattan (On applause from SOMEONE ELSE’S SKIN. ladies and gentlemen. A DAB.) FRANK JUNIOR And now. and three ATTRACTIVE ASSISTANTS come dancing in. Because a sixteen-year-old cashing a check or opening an account by himself— SWISS ARMY KNIFE ASSISTANT (with Swiss Army knife) —gets a lot of questions! FRANK JUNIOR Higgins brand Genuine Original India Ink flows easily through your pen or brush—a few dabs on your license. A FOURTH ATTRACTIVE ASSISTANT holds Frank’s briefcase for him) Swiss Army Penknives can help you alter the age on your driver's license. SWISS ARMY KNIFE A SNIP. a word from our sponsors! (He gestures. INDIA INK ASSISTANT (with bottle of ink) And no one can tell the difference! FRANK JUNIOR Elmer's Glue is perfect for the craftsperson of any age who needs to change their name. and you're officially Frank Taylor Junior. Frank Junior comes downstage to speak to us. (Three ATTRACTIVE ASSISTANTS bring in the products as Frank describes them.) These great products can help you survive your first few weeks in New York with just fifty checks and a driver's license. you're ten years older.21 Scene 5: Chase Bank. A TOUCH OF GLUE THREE ASSISTANTS AND YOU’LL BE GOOD TO GO FRANK JUNIOR BIG THANKS TO ALL OUR SPONSORS! INDIA INK ELMER’S GLUE . With a pair of scissors you can cut and paste names from other documents. ATTRACTIVE ASSISTANT #1 Or William Taylor.
We can’t cash this. RIGHT BACK TO THE SHOW! (As the Assistants dance off Stage Left. FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty. BANK TELLER If you'd like to leave us your home phone number. HANRATTY (shows us) Seems someone put out an F. and dropped rubber in just about every hotel. HANRATTY (Hanratty comes downstage to us. grocery store. then leaves him to join a BANK TELLER.) DIANE.) .) HANRATTY He didn’t know his bad checks were on my desk. Mister Hanratty. BANK TELLER I'm sorry. FRANK JUNIOR Say. and dry cleaners from here to Hoboken.22 THREE ASSISTANTS NOW. (He escorts Hanratty toward the wings. But Hanratty stays and keeps speaking to us. Diane. (Frank Junior is before DIANE. in his charming fashion. slides the check off the counter. Hanratty enters from Stage Right) HANRATTY I know. we can hold on to this— (Frank Junior drops the necklace in his valise. I found this on the sidewalk out front. BANK TELLER I'm sorry.B. the Bank Teller at a counter. thanks for stopping by. He didn’t know his mother had filed a missing-persons report. FRANK JUNIOR Ladies and Gentlemen! It’s our very special guest star. He didn’t know that his clock was ticking. Mister Taylor. and I think it might be yours— HANRATTY It's not. I know. He opened accounts all over the tri-state area. is the fact that in just a few short months this guy had soaked just about every branch of Chase Manhattan in the five boroughs and in northern New Jersey. we’re going to be seeing him of him in just a bit but right now there’s a much more exciting turn of events.) What he’s leaving out folks. bulletin. backs away. He was the Johnny Appleseed of fraud. we have new restrictions on cashing checks. Very entertaining.I. Very good. Mister Taylor.
Mister Hanratty and his team were trying to find my trail. (comes down to talk to us) Trying to put it all together.) LIVE IN LIVING COLOR (Reprise) FRANK JUNIOR AND THOUGH I’M LIVE IN LIVING COLOR AT THE FBI THE SHOW’S IN BLACK AND WHITE.) FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty’s jumping ahead. With my stockbroker. when my first fifty checks ran out. (He drops a colorful check. (He backs away.) HANRATTY He’s going to try six more banks—same story. We were on him. Right now. thank you. onto Hanratty and into the open elevator traps. (Hanratty freezes. and a load of black and white checks rain down from the flies. He and I don’t even meet face to face for months yet. . FRANK JUNIOR Then why didn’t he catch me? HANRATTY Only a matter of time. but I'm late. For an appointment. but Hanratty stops him. See.23 FRANK JUNIOR You know. he’s still stuck at his desk. Frank Junior sings. (MUSIC. While I was producing more rubber than a tire factory. I bought a little printing press and I made my own.
Dollar. I requested something where I could use my gun. and DOLLAR are drowning in checks and we hear:) COD Dollar! What have you done! BRANTON Yeah. and it’s an experience I see no reason to repeat.B. It’s Thanksgiving. And. (The men laugh.) DOLLAR He got you there. Office The elevators begin to lift the FBI office into view. Dollar. so we are going to sort it out. HANRATTY (shudders) How about Shelley Winters? She’s loud and fast. BRANTON Shouldn’t you be in another department? Like maybe daycare? DOLLAR I was auditing background checks for the Library of Congress and I asked for a transfer. Anything loud or fast. COD. go home for lunch one of these days. COD C’mon Hanratty it’s 4:45. Agents BRANTON. even if it means we drop dead at our desks and our fossilized bones are discovered in some archeological dig in the twenty-first century. BRANTON That’s easy for you to say. North Atlantic region — thank you very much — we will do the job until it’s done. Now listen. the next time we tell you to move file boxes. and see how that works out for you.I. Hanratty.24 Scene 6: F. by the way. We always give the rookies a hard time. Come on. Some of us still have wives. HANRATTY Low blow. And cars. or counter-intelligence— . Hanratty. we have three or four major-league paperhangers somewhere in this mess. basically. Agent Branton. Thanksgiving or no Thanksgiving. BRANTON Come on. could you make sure you’re under them when they fall? DOLLAR Whoops! HANRATTY Leave the kid alone. and you stack them ten high. I know that this job is not as exciting as fieldwork. HANRATTY Listen — We do the job because it's the job and as long as I'm Interim Second Assistant Special Agent in Charge of the Bank Fraud and Forgery Subdivision. Don’t you remember how they razzed you? HANRATTY Yes. unannounced. I like guns.
They mean that he can stay in one place and write bad checks for weeks and weeks. He knows. Jiminy Christmas. HANRATTY Look at these two. now this is interesting (more music under). COD + DOLLAR Nooooo! HANRATTY And that means no Christmas for you MICR mouse.) BRANTON. (MUSIC. This is very. BRANTON I know you think so. (He points at Cod. The one you're after. Oh yeah. (looks at the other check) And Frank Williams too. If you change a zero-two to a one-two. and you will.) And no Hanukah either. DOLLAR You mean those numbers at the bottom the check actually mean something? HANRATTY They mean that Frank Taylor and Frank Williams and William Franklin are the same person. Magnetic Ink Character Recognition. And the day you catch him. He’s changing the MICR numbers on the checks. DOLLAR Micker? Micker Mouse? COD Who the hell is Micker Mouse? HANRATTY MICR! MICR! M-I-C-R. Frank Junior returns and the men sweep the checks onto the lifts as we TRANSITION TO:) . Frank Taylor must've got his hands on a MICR encoder. the day you slap those cuffs on him and watch them haul him away (music under) —oh. a check that was cashed in New York gets rerouted all the way to San Francisco and it’s weeks before the bank that cashed it knows they’re bad. But he does. and that’s the sad thing. HANRATTY —and maybe nobody knows you're down here. very interesting. he does. Look here.25 COD Or a long. And that means there must be thousands more checks just like this out there – more bum checks than a Prague prison! (A second load of checks drops. slow death.
. My clock was ticking. (He takes her measure.) STEWARDESS #3 (LINDY) Oh! Excuse me.) FRANK JUNIOR Oh. He almost collides with a beautiful young Pan Am STEWARDESS emerging. Now I was really good . the elevators begin to sink out of sight. I'd always wanted to be good at something. He bobs and weaves as they move through. agape.. But then one day. nothing more. as Frank watches. Manhattan. And Frank Junior ) FRANK JUNIOR Well. and destiny came walking out those revolving doors. (to us) Are you seeing this? (STEWARDESS #3 bumps him on her way by . .26 Scene 7: Outside the Tudor Hotel. and the shelf life was getting shorter. there . at passing bad checks. isn't it? STEWARDESS #2 (MINDY) We all have evening flights. and in the Skies (As soon as the deck is clear. A SECOND STEWARDESS comes through the door..?" (A parade of STEWARDESSES.. (She continues past him. I was a crook. march in through the door.) STEWARDESS #2 (MINDY) Excuse me. that should keep Mister Hanratty busy for a while. (MUSIC. FRANK JUNIOR Kinda late to be checking out.) STEWARDESS #1 (CINDY) That’s quite all right. I—excuse me—whoops!—hello.. all in the same Pan Am outfit. satchels in hand...) FRANK JUNIOR Oh!! Excuse me. I went walking past the Tudor Hotel on 42nd Street. FRANK JUNIOR "We all.. travel bags in hand. But unfortunately he was right.
then at her. telling Frank Junior how it is. excuse me. Kelly. I like to call them . Mindy.. "The Jet Set. Tell him Cindy sent you.) MINDY JUST LEFT WISCONSIN WHERE THERE'S CHEESE ENOUGH TO START THIS RAT RACE CINDY BUT THANKS TO THE BROTHERS WRIGHT CINDY + MINDY WE DON'T KNOW WHERE WE'LL SLEEP TONIGHT . Talk to Jerry Taylor. Miss Cindy. (Frank Junior steps downstage: our host. (She pulls a business card from her bust. Tell me—is flying everything it's cracked up to be? STEWARDESS #1 (CINDY) The only thing better than flying—is what happens on the ground.. Terri. Nellie. It's the wrong one. Um. She pulls another.27 FRANK JUNIOR No . the other Stewardesses join her.. Cindy. I've been training as a pilot. Karrie. miss .) FRANK JUNIOR (to us. (Frank Junior blinks. Is Pan Am hiring? STEWARDESS #1 (CINDY) Aren't you sweet. Here. FRANK JUNIOR Thank you. Shellie. our host:) Ladies and gentlemen. Sherrie. He smiles at us. and Jane. then the third time's the charm:) Here it is." SONG: THE JET SET CINDY WOKE UP IN BROOKLYN WITH A FROWN UPON MY FACE (One by one.. Lindy..) Excuse me. STINGER. Who are you all waiting for? THE STEWARDESSES The pilots.. VP of personnel.
I'M A BIRD IN THE SKIES MINDY AND TOMORROW WHEN I RISE LINDY I'LL WAKE UP IN PARIS WITH A NEW LOVE IN MY HEART JANE OR MAYBE GERMANY WITH THAT BRAND NEW PET I MET IN STUTTGART KELLIE SKIES THE LIMIT.28 CINDY YEAH. sir! Can I get a picture? PAN EXEC Oh. and he takes out a camera and a notebook. . I want to know everything there is to know about being a Pan Am pilot. jumpin' puddles for the weak and weary?" PAN AM EXECUTIVE Means they've been flying the same plane. For instance. short flights. sure. FRANK JUNIOR Thank you for your time. TIME TO PLAY I'LL PUT DOWN ROOTS SOME OTHER DAY SHELLIE NO NEED TO BE A LONELY JOE STEWARDESSES THE JET-SET IS THE SHELLIE ONLY WAY TO GO (One Stewardess pulls a pair of horn-rimmed glasses from her satchel and puts them on Frank Junior.D. like this one here from Pan Am. FRANK JUNIOR And what about those I. Another Stewardess opens her satchel. "I've been on the same equipment all week. Frank Black from Monroe High School. A PAN AM EXECUTIVE enters. badges that I've seen pilots wear? PAN AM EXEC Every pilot has to have it with him at all times.) PAN AM EXECUTIVE So you're the kid writing the article for the school paper? FRANK JUNIOR (turns to him. what does it mean when one pilot says to another pilot. now a high school kid) Yes sir. mostly commuters. It's an airline personnel badge.
Frank holds up a blank piece of paper.) FRANK JUNIOR Got it! (The Executive goes and the Stewardesses are back. NEAR OR FAR FEELS TWICE AS GOOD AS WHERE YOU ARE WHEN YOU’RE SICK OF THE STATUS QUO THE JET-SET IS THE ONLY WAY TO GO … (Frank Junior holds up his completed badge. TAILOR Why so nervous? FRANK JUNIOR How would you feel if you lost your uniform your first week on the job? . scissors.) FRANK JUNIOR My Pan Am pilot's badge! How cool is that? A TAILOR enters. and goes to work making a Pan Am Badge. measuring tape and note pad in hand. FLASH.29 (Frank Junior points the camera right at his ID badge.) STEWARDESSES WOULD’JA LIKE NEW MUSIC AND MYSTERY EACH AND EVERYDAY LOSE THE SAME OLD MUSIC AND HIST’RY MAKE A NEW FRIEND THEN FLY AWAY (One Stewardess brings Frank Junior an in-flight cart with familiar sponsor products: Penknife. TAILOR Awfully young to be a pilot.) STEWARDESSES (CONT'D) AND … WAKE UP IN TEXAS WHERE THEY TREAT THEIR WOMEN RIGHT AND THEN TRY HOLLYWOOD WHERE THE STARS GET LIT OUT IN BROAD DAYLIGHT ANY CITY. glue. India ink. I'm just a co-pilot. aren't ya? FRANK JUNIOR I get that a lot.
A stunning sight. and Frank Junior pulls it back. (He pulls out a form and begins to fill it out. It's.) TAILOR Great! I'll bill Pan Am. Frank tries to read it upside down. A HAYRIDE? THEN KIDDO. his uniform at last perfect. JUST STAY HOME BUT.. One. SO FLY! (Frank Junior joins them. Four . I hear you. (Frank Junior and the Tailor go as the PILOTS enter with Stewardesses. finished. IF YOU WANT JET-SET THEN GET SET TO LEAVE BEHIND KANSAS THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE ROME ALL STEWARDESSES WAKE UP IN RIO HAVE YOUR COFFEE IN BRAZIL EVERYONE WHEN REAL LIFE GETS YOU DOWN TAKE A FAR-OUT. GREEK OR JAPANESE ALL STEWARDESSES A STEWARDESS IS TRAINED TO PLEASE ALL SO IF YOU’VE GOT WHAT IT TAKES BELOW WELL THEN FLY THIS BIRD LIKE CUPID’S BOW CAUSE THE JET SET'S JUST A HOLIDAY YEAH THE JET SET GOES UP. ONE-WAY TRIP TO SPLITZVILLE ALL PILOTS SWEDISH.) . cap and aviators on. FRANK JUNIOR That’s why Pan Am will always be around...) ALL PILOTS WOULD’JA LIKE A SLEIGH RIDE. That'll be one forty-three ninety-seven. the Tailor nods. FRANK JUNIOR Can I write you a check? TAILOR No—no checks.(?) Four (?) Five. Just need your employee number.(?) S— (But before he gets the next number out.30 TAILOR Ah. UP AND AWAY . Six.. to count spaces for numbers:) FRANK JUNIOR Sure. they'll take it out of your next paycheck. no cash. Three.
The doors open and off steps Cheryl Ann – getting off the elevator of the St. . NEXT STOP IS LOVE ALL FROM TIMBUKTU TO TOKYO FROM MOZAMBIQUE TO MEXICO THE JET SET IS THE ONLY WAY TO GO FRANK JUNIOR BABBADA BOP BOOP BAH BADOOBA DOO-OH! SONG ENDS.31 FRANK JUNIOR RIGHT DOWN TO IT'LY FOR LA BELLA FEMINA JUMP IN A FOUNTAIN STEWARDESSES WOO! ALL FOR A BIG DOSE OF LA DOLCE VITA FRANK JUNIOR IF YOUR TASTES RUN MORE RISQUÉ TWO STEWARDESSES WELL THEN. Regis Hotel. WE KNOW A JOINT IN OLD BOMBAY ALL SO HANG ON TIGHT LET’S LOOP DE LOOP IT’S TIME TO FLY THIS CHICKEN COOP SO PACK UP YOUR SUITCASE CHECK YOUR WORRIES AT THE GATE COME OUT AND PLAY BOY CRUISE THE WORLD TO FIND YOUR PERFECT PLAYMATE FRANK JUNIOR THINGS LOOK BETTER FROM ABOVE SO BUCKLE UP. As the others exit. (MUSIC begins again. Frank comes down center to take the elevator down.
Captain. Regis Hotel.. a few years ago.. What's a night worth? With me? FRANK JUNIOR I — gosh. CHERYL ANN Frank. Um. she starts removing her outer garments. I was on the cover of Seventeen . (As they head up the stairs.32 Scene 8: The St. Could I get your autograph? CHERYL ANN Do you have a pen . Manhattan CHERYL ANN Nice uniform.. Three hundred? (She closes her coat and heads back to the elevator. in your room? FRANK JUNIOR I think I do. Are you going to make me an offer? FRANK JUNIOR I'm sorry — an offer for what? CHERYL ANN A man like you can buy anything he wants.. I really don't know. FRANK JUNIOR Call me Frank. FRANK JUNIOR Sure — you're that model! Cheryl Ann—something—in the Plaza. FRANK JUNIOR Don’t I know you from somewhere? CHERYL ANN Maybe.) Five hundred? (She gets on the elevator) A thousand dollars? (She stops the elevator doors from closing) CHERYL ANN One thousand dollars. .) CHERYL ANN So. Cheryl.
CHERYL ANN You give me the check . She hands him the check and the cash as they disappear together down the elevator lift) . (pulling cash from her bust) .. CHERYL ANN (inspecting it) Endorse it over to me.m.33 FRANK JUNIOR I have to cash a check. FRANK JUNIOR Even better. FRANK JUNIOR It's for fourteen hundred. and I'll give you four hundred dollars..? FRANK JUNIOR (pulls one out) They've done it for me before... CHERYL ANN You think this hotel is going to cash a thousand dollar check at three a. (MUSIC. It's a cashier's check.
COD C’mon. salt-and-pepper. I didn't feel a thing. And if our UnSub thinks he can hide there he’s sorely mistaken. He’s out there somewhere. But they always make a mistake. Hanratty and the men enter. He's making the rules. Years I tell you. There’s no way the Bureau’s gonna give us travel money for Liechtenwhatsit. Dollar! This job is not about shooting at people. Sixtyish. A paperhanger. This job is about just one guy. HANRATTY We’re getting closer to this guy and you need to bone up on some of the skills you’ve let slide sitting in that basement sipping peppermint schnapps out of your coffee cup. He's been honing his craft for years.k. HANRATTY Judas Priest. It’s not about punching the clock waiting for retirement. ) BRANTON Hanratty. Hanratty. He's Old School.a. why the hell'd you drag us out to Quantico? This guy’s a pen and ink man. He's not playing the game. No. if shooting people is anything like target practice. He probably doesn’t even carry a gun. BRANTON But we can't fix a location on him. The last bad checks came from Liechtenstein. he is toying with me. Or the women. or sneaking off for quickies with the secretaries on three.) BRANTON What the hell! DOLLAR (entering) You know. . No. Hanratty takes aim and fires. HANRATTY This guy's just a forger like Mickey Mantle is just a hitter. COD Jesus. One day he's in Dallas. He will. Hanratty. He's a true talent. Believe it. FBI Training Ground. You want to arrest him or hire him? HANRATTY I see him in my sleep. Or the wine. The next he's in Stuttgart. He is taunting me. VA (As Frank Junior leaves with Cheryl Ann. HANRATTY He will. BRANTON It’s just forgery. (Bullets WHIZ and DING and they duck for cover. Hanratty. a virtuoso. tall. Rome. COD He’s gone global. Frank Taylor a. William Franklin. Where the hell is Liechtenstein? HANRATTY The principality of Liechtenstein is a landlocked alpine country in Western Europe bordered by Switzerland to the west and south and Austria to the east. It's the overconfidence. Quantico.k.34 Scene 9: A Firing Range. Frank Williams a. Barcelona. boys. it's very disappointing. He doesn’t even know you exist.a.
and disappears. (. (Frank Junior appears .. Carl Hanratty..) SONG: BREAKING ALL THE RULES HANRATTY IT STARTS VERY EARLY ONCE THE BABY TOYS ARE GONE A KID ON THE PLAYGROUND HAS TO CHOOSE WHAT SIDE HE'S ON IT'S THE BULLIES OR THE GOOD GUYS BOY.. I only wanted to play cops. I have never been cool and I don’t intend to start now." THEY REPLY AND THOUGH I THOUGHT I HATED THEM AND SCREAMED WITH ALL MY MIGHT THE NEXT TIME THAT I HAD A CHOICE GEE WHIZ! I DID WHAT'S RIGHT NO. HANRATTY I will not stay cool.. (MUSIC.35 BRANTON Okay. THERE IS NO MIDDLE GROUND THOUGH HOODLUMS TRY TO BLUR THE LINE AND TWIST THE TRUTH AROUND THEN THEY CALL THEMSELVES A WINNER BUT THEY'RE SELF-DECEIVING FOOLS 'CAUSE THE GAME AIN'T WORTH WINNING IF YOU'RE BREAKING ALL THE RULES THE LAW IS LAYED UPON US WHEN AS KIDS WE FIRST ASK "WHY?" OUR PARENTS SET THE RULES WHEN "'CAUSE I SAID SO. Other kids wanted to play cops and robbers.. okay.) I think I was born this way. were you always like this? HANRATTY Long as I can remember. Stay cool..) FRANK JUNIOR Ladies and gentlemen . BRANTON Hanratty. I NEVER SNUCK A DRINK I NEVER STOLE A PACK OF "KOOLS" 'CAUSE THE GAME AIN'T WORTH WINNING IF YOU'RE BREAKING ALL THE RULES .
SINAI CRIED AND BEGGED ON THEIR BEHALF OH LORD! HE ALMOST DROPPED THOSE TABLETS WHEN HE SAW THAT GOLDEN CALF WHAT? NOW WE TEACH THE TEN COMMANDMENTS EVERY SUNDAY IN OUR SCHOOLS ‘CAUSE THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING IF YOU’RE BREAKING ALL THE RULES I GUESS THE CONSTITUTION. MEN DON’T BREAK THE RULES THEY THINK THEY SEE THEMSELVES DON’TCHA KNOW THEY’RE NOT PAYING BACK POW!!! YOU CAN’T GIVE AWAY THOSE JEWELS DON’T BREAK THE RULES . THOSE LAWS KEEP US ALIVE. THOSE LAWS KEEP US ALIVE. WILD WEST DON’T BREAK THE RULES GOD’S KEEPING SCORE AND YOU DON’T WANNA FAIL THAT TEST AND BABY … I GUESS … EVERY SUNDAY IN OUR SCHOOLS THOSE RULES.36 HANRATTY OR ELSE WE’RE LIVING IN THE WILD. IT STARTED BACK WITH MOSES WHEN HE LED AROUND THE JEWS THE JEWS AND CLIMBED WAY UP THAT MOUNTAIN TO PICK UP GOD’S DAILY NEWS TELL ME THE NEWS HE SCHLEPPED UP OLD MT. WILD WEST DON’T BREAK THE RULES GOD’S KEEPING SCORE AND YOU DON’T WANNA FAIL THAT TEST DON’T BREAK THE RULES YOU THUMB YOUR NOSE RIGHT AT THE LIFE FOR WHICH I STRIVE BUT THOSE RULES. TO SOME IS TOO COMPLEX THEY THINK OUR FOUNDING FATHERS FOUGHT SO THEY COULD FORGE SOME CHECKS THEY SEE THEMSELVES AS ROBIN HOOD STEALING FROM THE RICH NOT PAYING BACK THE THINGS THEY TAKE WELL PAYBACK IS A BITCH ‘CAUSE THE WORLD AIN’T SHERWOOD FOREST YOU CAN’T GIVE AWAY THOSE JEWELS AND THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING IF YOU’RE BREAKING ALL THE RULES OR ELSE WE’RE LIVING IN THE WILD. BOYS.
MAN AND ONE DAY I’LL CATCH YOU SO. DOO-WOP.37 DON’T BREAK THE RULES YOU THUMB YOUR NOSE RIGHT AT THE LIFE FOR WHICH I STRIVE BUT THOSE RULES. WILD WEST DON’T BREAK THE RULES GOD’S KEEPING SCORE AND YOU DON’T WANNA FAIL THAT TEST DON’T BREAK THE RULES YOU THUMB YOUR NOSE AT THE LIFE FOR WHICH I STRIVE BUT THOSE RULES THOSE LAWS THOSE LAWS THOSE RULES THOSE LAWS THOSE LAWS. DOO-WOP! . SELL SOME POT IT’S ALL THE SAME TO ME YOU’RE EITHER GUILTY OR YOU’RE NOT DOO-WOP. GO SNEAK DOO-WOP. IT’S LAWS THAT KEEP US HUMAN ‘CAUSE WITHOUT THEM WE’RE JUST MULES AND THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING I SAY THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING OH OH OH THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING IF YOU’RE BREAKING ALL THE RULES OR ELSE WE’RE LIVING IN THE WILD. GO SNEAK INTO A MOVIE RUN A RED LIGHT. BABY THOSE RULES THOSE LAWS THE WORLD WOULD BE IN TOTAL CHAOS BOP! ‘CAUSE WITHOUT THEM WE’RE JUST MULES THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING DON’T BREAK THE RULES BUT THOSE RULES. WOW! IF WE ALL DID WHAT WE WANTED EVERY TIME WE FELT THE URGE THE WORLD WOULD BE IN TOTAL CHAOS IT’S ALREADY ON THE VERGE ‘CAUSE. THOSE LAWS KEEP US ALIVE! WHEN YOU STEAL SOMEBODY’S MONEY SCREW HIS DAUGHTER OR HIS WIFE YOU DON’T THINK OF REPERCUSSIONS AS YOU TAP DANCE THROUGH YOUR LIFE THOUGH YOU SMILE LIKE YOU’RE A HERO YOU’RE AN OUTLAW BUT THE ODDS ARE IN MY FAVOR. THOSE LAWS KEEP US ALIVE! US ALIVE! OOH-OOH WOP OOH-OOH BOP! OOH-OOH YOU’RE AN OUTLAW THROUGH AND THROUGH AND ONE DAY I’LL CATCH YOU SO.
FRANK JUNIOR Thanks! STEWARDESS Be sure to watch out for that Skywayman.) HANRATTY + FRANK JUNIOR (overlapping.. . Are you my deadhead today? FRANK JUNIOR Yes. Frank Jr. not in unison) The Skywayman. posing as an airline pilot . with a flyer in hand.) BRANTON You’re dangerous... BRANTON Yeah . HANRATTY All right. FRANK JUNIOR Skywayman? (The Stewardess hands him a newspaper. Who the hell taught you to shoot? DOLLAR My daddy taught me how to turn a mister into a missus at a hundred yards. kid. I'm gonna regret this... and Cod follows him in. Come on aboard.. I don’t really want to know about that. opened and folded to an article. flying all over the world . Frank Junior enters with his suitcase. Branton and Dollar enter opposite. (The FBI Agents scatter. All the airlines are after him . jumpin’ puddles for the weak and weary.38 KEEP US ALIVE! KEEP US ALIVE! BOP! SONG ENDS. ma’am. Crime doesn’t take a holiday.) STEWARDESS Good morning. First Officer.. back to work.. but look at this field bulletin. Been on the same equipment all week. but I’ve got the jump seat open.) COD Hanratty. scans it. (Hanratty grabs and scans it. (Hanratty enters. STEWARDESS First class is full. A lovely STEWARDESS enters with a clipboard.
COD Maybe he forged some credentials? FRANK JUNIOR The Skywayman.) HANRATTY Nice work. FRANK JUNIOR Crazy world we live in. We just became front page news. and commissary on the Eastern seaboard. HANRATTY Maybe he's a master con artist.. All right.39 STEWARDESS They don't know how he does it. HANRATTY Maybe .. She follows.) . I'll have to look out for him. FRANK JUNIOR Like a superhero. (MUSIC. We're checking every airport hotel. cafe. Cod. boys. he drops rubber everywhere he goes. (Frank Junior gives the paper back to the Hotel Clerk and exits. Hanratty and the boys exit and we go right to the Latin Quarter. motel.
FRANK SENIOR Where? FRANK JUNIOR Los Angeles. I don't really fly. I thought it might be just the place to take you when I got back to the States. something else. I'm sort of just a copilot. FRANK SENIOR Hollywood. . FRANK SENIOR Look at us. they hit you when you're down. waits at their table. FRANK JUNIOR I heard about it in Paris. Called their bluff. with the girls dressed in pinstripes.. Frank. The goddamn government knows that.) SONG: THE PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT THEY SEE (REPRISE) SHOWGIRLS UNDERNEATH IS MY UNIFORM ALL IN SILK.40 Scene 10: The Latin Quarter. FROM PAREE A MAN CAN MAKE PASSES OR USE X RAY GLASSES BUT! PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT HE’LL SEE! SONG ENDS. FRANK SENIOR My son the birdman. Where're you flying that plane tonight? FRANK JUNIOR Well. It's all a matter of timing. in uniform. I wasn't going to let them take it from me. Frankie. I went by the store today. New York City (A floor show is just finishing. Sooner or later. They have a guy to give towels to the guy who gives you towels. So I just shut the doors myself. (Frank Senior makes his way through the beautiful girls—who give him a little love. Frank Junior. FRANK JUNIOR Yeah. they'll forget about me. On top of the world. FRANK SENIOR I had to close the store for a while. FRANK JUNIOR Dad..) FRANK SENIOR This place .
believe me. Frankie. FRANK SENIOR That's fine. watching her dance.. FRANK JUNIOR She could be again. (He raises his hand. She's a formidable woman. I can snap my fingers . Frankie. she was my wife. snaps his fingers twice. always has been.) Double Bourbon. (Back to Frank Junior. But I won't let her go without a fight. You got your own worries. There's plenty more where this came from. MUSIC.) FRANK SENIOR What's this? FRANK JUNIOR Let's open up the store. FRANK JUNIOR Listen. Dad.. Take good care of yourself. everything's different now. Pay off the Feds. FRANK SENIOR I don't know. lunch in Miami. I make lots of money. . I can help out now. FRANK JUNIOR If she saw you had the store back — FRANK SENIOR Two hundred soldiers in that tiny social hall. FRANK JUNIOR I'm fine. and dinner in San Francisco. Because I learned from the best. FRANK JUNIOR But maybe if Mom saw — FRANK SENIOR Do I look like I need your help? (A moment. Get things back the way they were. Frank Sr. I can have breakfast in Rome.41 (Frank Junior slides a thick envelope across the table.) Don't worry about your mom and me. I got this great job. I didn't speak a word of French.) … and strike up an orchestra. FRANK JUNIOR I can be anything you need me to be. Dad. She's stubborn. FRANK SENIOR And here I thought you were just a copilot. FRANK SENIOR Keep it. And six weeks later. to bartender.
HE’S THE BIG CHEESE UP AT “LAND O’ LAKES” HE’S LIVING PROOF THAT POP ALL IT TAKES IS A SCHEME SO IF YOU LAND IN THE GUTTER JUST MAKE BUTTER OUT OF CREAM FRANK JUNIOR Your turn. It’s not a solo act. DEDUCED HIS PLIGHT SAID “THIS IS NO WAY TO SPEND A SATURDAY NIGHT!” BUT HE HAD THE STYLE TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT SO HE MADE BUTTER OUTTA CREAM HE KICKED HIS LEGS UP HE TOSSED AND TURNED SO NOT TO END UP A GHOST HE DID THE HOKEY-POKEY TILL THE CREAM WAS CHURNED THEN BABY. HE MADE COFFEE OUT OF BEANS . FRANK SENIOR Nah—you’re doing great. FRANK JUNIOR This is a duet.. HE WALKED RIGHT OUT AND BUTTERED HIS TOAST NOW HE’S ON TOP FOR GOODNESS SAKES YEAH. there is one you haven’t told you. It’s Frank and Dean.42 SONG: BUTTER OUTTA CREAM FRANK JUNIOR REMEMBER THAT STORY I LEARNED AT YOUR FEET WELL NOW IT’S MY TURN. THERE WAS A COCKROACH IN BRAZIL GOT DRUNK AT THE LOCAL COFFEE MILL HE THOUGHT HIS TIME WAS UP UNTIL HE MADE COFFEE OUTTA BEANS WHEN HE CAME TO HE HEARD SUCH A SOUND MUCH TO HIS SHOCK WHEN HE LOOKED AROUND HE HAD BEEN SCOOPED AND WAS ABOUT TO BE GROUND SO. Dad. you know .. TAKE A SEAT TWO LITTLE MICE OF GREAT RENOWN FELL IN SOME MILK AND ONE PROCEEDED TO DROWN THE OTHER ONE’S STILL THE TOAST OF THE TOWN CAUSE HE MADE BUTTER OUTTA CREAM HE LOOKED AROUND. FRANK SENIOR Well. FRANK JUNIOR Really? FRANK SENIOR.
43 FRANK SENIOR (CONT’D) HE MARCHED TO THE SOUTH AND HE STOMPED TO THE NORTH HE HAD TO RACE AGAINST FATE HE DID THE CUCARACHA WHILE THOSE TEARS POURED FORTH THEN SEÑOR. Dad! FRANK SENIOR All right. SON I’LL MAKE BUTTER OUT OF CREAM! SONG ENDS . Son! BOTH SO THINK OF THOSE TWO WHEN LIFE’S THE PITS FRANK SENIOR “THE BUG” FRANK JUNIOR AND “THE MOUSE” BOTH AT THE END OF THEIR WITS THEY KNEW THE KEY TO LIFE IS THAT ITS WHA’ CHA DREAM SO IF LEMONS CLOG YOUR SINK UP DON’T JUST STAND AROUND AND SCREAM SPIKE SOME LEMONADE AND DRINK UP AND MAKE BUTTER OUT OF CREAM FRANK SENIOR JUST MAKE BUTTER OUT OF CREAM FRANK JUNIOR MAKE SOME BUTTER OUT OF CREAM FRANK SENIOR I HEAR WHAT YOU’RE SAYING. THINGS BEGAN TO PERCOLATE HE HELD HIS BREATH AND SWAM TO THE TOP HE BORROWED BEANS FROM HIS MOM AND POP AND OPENED UP HIS OWN COFFEE SHOP OUT IN QUEENS! WHEN HIS LIGHTS WERE ALMOST OFF HE JUST MADE COFFEE OUTTA BEANS FRANK JUNIOR Let’s bring this one home.
get license plate numbers on every car in the lot. people. Impress me. Dollar.) Mister Taylor. . Cod. COD (holds up a pizza box and a jar of peanut butter) He lives on junk food. HANRATTY Okay fellows. when you're dead. COD Oh my god! It's Hanratty! HANRATTY That's funny. Come on. Cod. inspecting furniture. Was here for almost a week. No forwarding. left us a goldmine. COD Looks like he left in a hurry. I'll make a note to laugh later. real name unknown. That's very funny. go canvas the other guests. What's his next move? What goes on in the mind of an obsessive loner? BRANTON Why don't you tell us? (Hanratty glares at Branton. opening drawers. DOLLAR (holds up a comic book) The Flash. then picks up the wastebasket. HANRATTY (sighs) Branton.44 Scene 11: Idlewild Airport Motel. I'll process the room.) BRANTON I'll take your word for it. Branton appears at the door. and dumps the contents on the floor. lifting cushions.) HANRATTY A man's secrets are in his trash. (The other agents look at the trash. (They begin to pore over the room. He likes comic books.) BRANTON Hanaratty! The manager says he just checked out three hours ago. Cod. Room 135 (Hanratty. and Dollar inspect a much-used motel room: comic books. junk-food containers. then at Hanratty. BRANTON (holds up a Playboy) He has a breast fetish. crumpled papers.
Jack Barnes and Paula.) PAULA Hello? Hello? Frankie is that you? JACK BARNES Is it him again? PAULA Frankie? JACK BARNES Paula. in another hotel room.) HANRATTY A BOBBY PIN TWO BASEBALL CARDS SOME DAY-OLD CHINESE FOOD TWO TICKET STUBS THE RED SOX ALWAYS LOSE . Elsewhere. I know you're in here somewhere.) All right. The Flash? Peanut butter? Maybe he's got a kid? (Hanratty goes to work. no. picking through the garbage. on the phone. Say. SONG: THE MAN INSIDE THE CLUES HANRATTY A COMIC BOOK A MISS JULY A MATCHBOOK FROM "THE FLAME" SOME CHEWING GUM A MISMATCHED PAIR OF SHOES A LETTER HOME THAT WASN’T MAILED A CHECK WITHOUT A NAME YEAH. no. Lights fade on all three. Mister Taylor. in night clothes. A RING. You ever look at your own garbage? (The other agents go. THEY'LL BE MY GUIDE TO THE MAN INSIDE THE CLUES (Lights on Frank Junior. PAULA Frankie. Paula looks at Jack and shakes her head. Hanratty.) HANRATTY No. are you there? (Frank Junior abruptly hangs up.45 COD (as the men leave) Right. Something doesn't jive here. Paula on the phone. give me the phone.
but stops. I'd like to place an order.46 A VALENTINE THAT WASN’T SENT A SCENT TO SET THE MOOD WHEN I TAKE A RIDE WITH THE MAN INSIDE THE CLUES (Lights on Frank Junior. (Lights fade on him. BRANTON The two of who? HANRATTY Who knows? But we know he's going to Los Angeles. I'll hold. COD (as he and Branton turn to go) Now that's the best idea he's had yet. SHE NEVER COMES HE LOCKED THE DOOR BUT I DON'T NEED A KEY THERE'S ONLY GARBAGE ON THE FLOOR TO OTHERS. And so are we. he'd be transparent. If he were any more pale. my family flies for free.) .) HANRATTY DO NOT DISTURB IS ON THE DOOR THE MAID. I know it's late—I just flew in from Ireland. DOLLAR Fantastic.) FRANK JUNIOR Hi Miss Room Service. yeah. and returns to the room. (The men exit. in yet another hotel room.) BRANTON Anything? HANRATTY (hands him a crumpled sheet of paper) Pan Am stationery. Hanratty moves to follow. sure. Have you been there? It's so beautiful—oh. (reads) "As a Pan Am pilot. The two of you should come out to Los Angeles with me. THEY'RE JUST CRUMBS THOSE CRUMBS LOOK LIKE A FIVE-COURSE MEAL TO ME (The other agents return. Maybe then --" (looks up) Unfinished. BRANTON He could use the sun.
. BY THE MAN INSIDE THE CLUES THE MAN INSIDE THE CLUES.47 HANRATTY I'VE LOOKED INTO SO MANY LIVES BUT NEVER AT MY OWN THE TRAIL I LEFT IS SUCH A DAMN CLICHÉ THE LONELY WIFE. LIKE A FRONT DOOR KEY A HOME COOKED MEAL THE HAPPY BRIDE AND GROOM THEN LIFE KICKS IN AND MAKES YOU PAY YOUR DUES AND THEN YOU FIND YOU'RE BY YOURSELF IN A SINGLE MOTEL ROOM THAT'S BEEN OCCUPIED .. THE HOUSE FOR SALE A MILLION NIGHTS ALONE TO WISH YOU HAD THE THINGS YOU THREW AWAY .. SONG ENDS.. .
listening to the radio.I. From the bathroom. I was gonna deposit this one today. We see Frank.) If you’re good little boys. They all cleared. Dollar takes the exit. mister. Dollar eagerly follows suit.) Put it away.! (. but the room is empty. cautiously. I’ll just take this check and be on my way.) HANRATTY F. HANRATTY I take the lead. in other directions. MOTEL MANAGER Good.) Hanratty bursts in through the door . . Junior laying on his bed in his room. a FLUSH. looking over a bureau and table filled with the implements of forgery. HANRATTY Relax.48 Scene 12: A Motel (Patio and Room) in Los Angeles.. You guys back me up. RADIO ANNOUNCEMENT KRLA … It’s currently a summer sixty five degrees here in Los Angeles … MOTEL MANAGER He wrote three checks.B. to room 201. gun drawn.B.) HANRATTY F.! Come out with your hands on your head. you’ll get one. Hanratty and men enter the patio with the MOTEL MANAGER. HANRATTY You mean he’s still here? MOTEL MANAGER (hesitates) Two-oh-one. (Hanratty draws his gun.I. I’ll buy you all a Good Humor bar. Hanratty slowly moves in. too. The rest exit. glumly. I don’t want any trouble... MOTEL MANAGER You said there wouldn’t be any trouble.. I don’t want my customers harassed. HANRATTY There won’t be any trouble. (Dollar complies. (Hanratty proceeds. Hanratty points his gun.
) FRANK JUNIOR He’s got about two hundred checks here—a gallon of India ink. The name's Allen. FRANK JUNIOR You think the F. can you believe that? HANRATTY Don’t move. FRANK JUNIORS Can’t be too careful these days. then in a motel outside D. We’ve been following a paper trail for months. HANRATTY What are you talking about? Keep your hands on your head.B. near Dulles airport.I. (tosses him wallet) You want my gun. you’re late.) FRANK JUNIOR Guy's got a MICR encoder. (Frank Junior ignores the gun pointed at him and walks to the desk. FRANK JUNIOR Don’t worry about it. too? HANRATTY No. We almost had him in New York. FRANK JUNIOR Here. Carl Hanratty. FRANK JUNIOR Relax. United States Secret Service.C. buddy. . anyway? HANRATTY Hanratty. drafting glue—he even makes little payroll envelopes addressed to himself from Pan Am. FRANK JUNIOR You mind if I see some ID. no. He's in a different. HANRATTY Keep your hands where I can see them. black suit. Put your hands on your head or I’ll shoot. Your man just tried to climb out the window—my partner has him in custody downstairs. I wasn’t expecting Secret Service on this. Carl? HANRATTY Sure. Barry Allen. take my whole wallet. are the only ones tracking this guy? He’s been dabbling in government checks. Nods at Hanratty. What’s your name. HANRATTY Let me see some identification. Would you mind taking that gun out of my face? It makes me nervous.49 (Frank Junior calmly emerges from the bathroom.
HANRATTY You shouldn’t. ten seconds later you would have been shot.) FRANK JUNIOR You know. HANRATTY Wait. (Frank Junior picks up the MICR machine and heads for the door. some maid comes in here and starts making the bed. What does he look like? FRANK JUNIOR He's a handsome son of a bitch. I trust you. Carl. I hate when that happens. FRANK JUNIOR (freezes. HANRATTY Yeah? I had him figured for an older guy. Right here. FRANK JUNIOR Hang on to it till I come back for the rest of the stuff. HANRATTY That’s okay.) Hey. turns) What? HANRATTY Your wallet. He must be your age at least. HANRATTY Okay. I asked for that one! FRANK JUNIOR Just do me a favor. (Hanratty hands Frank Junior his business card) FRANK JUNIOR Tough luck.50 HANRATTY Sure. let me ask you something. FRANK JUNIOR He is pretty damn old. That was a joke. I’m just a little … (Hanratty indicates nerves with his hands. then stop laughing. I don’t want anyway walking through my crime scene. Five minutes earlier and you would have landed yourself a pretty good collar. Frank Junior goes to a pitcher of water and pours himself a drink — and only we can see he's trembling. (They laugh.) Here. Sit tight a minute while I get some of this evidence downstairs. sorry. . HANRATTY Sure.
Frank Black. DOLLAR We all make mistakes. I love it. (Frank Junior smiles at him and goes. Jesus Christ. wasn't it? Misdirection. And I . (Lights. HANRATTY Oh. Thinks a minute. Frank Fuck! (The other three agents rush into the room. Fingers through the ID cards within.) HANRATTY Nice guy. Carl. The best time of the year. I love it. Not to me. sir.) I love my job. Barry Allen from the Secret Service.) FRANK JUNIOR That was close.. I don't know why. I love it. He was right there! BRANTON What are you talking about? HANRATTY I let him convince me he was someone else.) Mister Hanratty and his men caught the next plane back to DC. I caught the one after that. Maintain eye contact. (He shrugs. (unable to contain himself) We got him! (He does a little victory dance. Opens the wallet. I guess I always wanted to see our nation's capital at Christmas. Frank Junior in a spot. To us. . Keep talking. HANRATTY Not to me.51 FRANK JUNIOR You got me.) COD Where is he? HANRATTY I had him. Frank Williams.. DOLLAR Barry Allen? The Flash? HANRATTY What? DOLLAR Barry Allen is the alter ego of the Flash.) Frank Taylor. (He stops. it happens to the best of us.
It's Christmas Eve. (Frank Junior struggles to extricate himself and get offstage to get his letter jacket on.) LINDY What’s the matter.) PARTYGOERS ANGELS SING. Go home. Hanratty's phone RINGS.) (The Stewardesses and Pilots dance off as we TRANISTION TO Hanratty's office. He picks up. THE SOUND’S SUBLIME LISTEN TO THOSE CHURCH BELLS CHIME CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR (A few of the Stewardesses approach Frank Junior.) BRANTON Hanratty.) HANRATTY This is Hanratty. You're not going to redeem yourself with the boys upstairs by having a miserable holiday. You've got kids. BRANTON Merry Christmas. He's poring over documents with a loupe. FRANK JUNIOR I'm just going to get some air. BRANTON You want me to stay? HANRATTY No. DC SONG: CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR (PARTY VERSION) (The Stewardesses and Pilots party as Frank Junior looks on. Branton enters.52 Scene 13: A Hotel Room and the FBI Building. (checks his watch without looking up) It's not Christmas Eve. both Washington. HANRATTY You're wrong. It's Christmas.) . Merry Christmas. Hanratty (He goes. honey? CINDY You look pooped! MINDY You need a good long layover. (Lights on Frank Junior at a pay phone. come on.
CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR FRANK JUNIOR SOME SUGAR PLUMS I HAVEN’T KISSED BUT MISTLETOE I MUST RESIST CAUSE I’M ON ST. HANRATTY Who is this? FRANK JUNIOR I’ve been trying to track you down. I knew it was you. Secret Service! What do you want? FRANK JUNIOR I want to apologize for what happened out in Los Angeles. FRANK JUNIOR I didn’t think I’d get you in. FRANK JUNIOR Me either. you don't feel sorry for me. CARL’S MOST WANTED LIST . HANRATTY Then tell me something: how did you know I wouldn’t look in your wallet? FRANK JUNIOR I didn’t. don’t you? One way or another. Just like Vegas—the house always wins. I did. The fact is. HANRATTY Yeah? Screw you. I’m sorry if I made a fool out of you. HANRATTY Barry Allen. It’s Christmas. FRANK JUNIOR Carl. SONG: MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR HANRATTY YEAH.53 FRANK JUNIOR Hello. FRANK JUNIOR People only know what you tell them. Maybe I didn’t pull the trigger but I knew. Merry Christmas. HANRATTY You’re gonna get caught. you know that. HANRATTY Goddamn it. Carl. I thought maybe you had a family? HANRATTY No. No family. DON’TCHA LOVE THE YULETIDE FUN THERE’S JOY AND CHEER FOR EVERYONE I WAIT FOR SANTA WITH A GUN YES.
) HANRATTY SO. FRANK JUNIOR (half beat) I have to go. RIGHT BY THE PHONE FRANK JUNIOR & HANRATTY YES CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR HANRATTY Wait a minute.) . While Hanratty waits on the other end of the phone. separately. FRANK JR. You didn’t call me to apologize.) HANRATTY. But stops. Wait a minute. FRANK SR. PAULA AND THERE’S A HOME WHERE YOU CAN’T GO AND THERE’S A LIFE THAT’S FULL OF LOVE YOU USED TO KNOW HANRATTY FOR ME IT’S TRUE FRANK SENIOR BUT KID. did you? FRANK JUNIOR What do you mean? HANRATTY You’ve got no one else to talk to. THEY’RE STILL YOURS TO HOLD IF YOU … FRANK SENIOR & PAULA & HANRATTY COME IN FROM THE COLD (Lights fade on Frank Senior and Paula. CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR (Lights on Frank Senior and Paula. HANRATTY Frank! Wait! (Frank Junior almost hangs up the phone. NOT YOU PAULA CAUSE YOUR FAMILY’S HERE FRANK SENIOR & PAULA YEAH. IF TOMORROW SANTA’S FLOWN THE TREE IS DOWN AND YOU’RE ALONE I'M ALWAYS HERE.54 BOTH YES. Frank Junior covers the mouthpiece and turns to us.
55 FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty was right. and she was gonna change everything. dreaming.. FRANK JUNIOR Sooner or later you'll get tired of chasing me.) HANRATTY (to himself) He’s a kid. (Lights on Brenda. Frank Junior jumps off the stage and disappears up the aisle of the theatre. HANRATTY No I won't. (He sings. SONG ENDS. HANRATTY Frank? (Brenda fades..) FRANK JUNIOR I'm still here. But I was about to meet someone. I HOPE WE’LL MEET AGAIN LIKE WHEN YOU’RE SERVING EIGHT TO TEN BOTH YES.. (to us) He’s a kid. FRANK. It was a lonely life. BUT WHO KNOWS WHEN HANRATTY AND. Tonight . Everything. Frank Junior turns back to the phone. HANRATTY Sooner or later you'll get tired of running. END OF ACT ONE .) I’LL CALL YOU SOON.. FRANK JUNIOR Look out the window. CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR (Hanratty sees Frank Junior in the pay phone booth.) But right now . She stops and looks in our direction. HANRATTY Why? FRANK JUNIOR Just do it.
) ALL PARTY DOCTORS + NURSES Woo-hoo! FRANK JUNIOR Of course.) We just go to each address and ask to see a family photo. full of professionals. But for right now. so it was time for me to lay low for a while. The last agent stays behind. (PARTY DOCTORS and NURSES enter at a stumbling run. Riverbend would be written up in Playboy as the address for swinging singles. and I'd wrung out every bank in the Northeast. the long list trailing behind him.56 ACT TWO Scene 1: The FBI Building. I moved to the Riverbend Apartments in Atlanta. (The PARTY DOCTOR approaches Frank Junior as we CONTINUE TO:) . I pulled a list from the mainframe.. Washington.) FRANK JUNIOR Good luck with that! Poor Agent Hanratty. a few years later. the perfect place to keep things quiet. I just had to keep a low profile. Frank Junior. I think that's gonna take a while. no more lies. DOLLAR (voice over) How long will that take? HANRATTY As long as it takes. huddled in a hallway. No more cons. We know he's a kid. whipping off his fedora and RayBans to reveal . live off my savings. Let's go. He waves. DC (As the Entre' Acte ends. it's simple. which just keeps coming. The men follow. . no more high living. we see Hanratty and his three men. So we check out every runaway teen and missing student in the tri-state area over the past three years. (He pulls out a sheet of paper.. Georgia. men. We find out who's responsible for the kid. drinks in hand. a real nice complex. (Hanratty exits. My career as a pilot was pretty much done..) HANRATTY Look..
(. Well.. surgery? Orthopedics? FRANK JUNIOR Pediatrics? PARTY DOCTOR Snot-nosed little kids? You can have 'em. I'm a doctor. I'll find out if there's anything open down at Atlanta General. Frank.. thank you.) Ladies and gentlemen—nurses. (Frank Junior shoots us a despairing look. what brings you to the Riverbend complex? I thought it was just us doctors and nurses here.. ARE YOU ON CALL? I'M NOT FEELING SO WELL AT ALL I KEPT THINKING ABOUT YA AS I COULD NOT SLEEP A WINK LAST NIGHT NURSE I TOSSED AND TURNED THE WHOLE NIGHT LONG KEPT FEELING LIKE SOMETHING'S WRONG I NEED A CHECKUP TO MAKE EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT ... I . (Frank Junior turns to us. ) Oh yeah. Listen.) PARTY DOCTOR So. sexy legs first. Atlanta (The PARTY DOCTOR throws an arm around him.) SONG: DOCTOR'S ORDERS NURSE HEY DOCTOR. no. then back to us. You know. Why do I do this every time?) PARTY DOCTOR What do you do. (The NURSES seduce Frank Junior into the medical profession—dressing him as a doctor in the process.57 Scene 2: The Riverbend Apartments and Atlanta General Hospital. Frank Junior looks at them . FRANK JUNIOR (works the problem) Oh. Be great to have you there! (He goes..) FRANK JUNIOR Oh. Why do I do this every time? (MUSIC. The NURSES rise into view.) What am I doing? I can't be a doctor.
doctor? OTHER DOCTOR Yes. I concur. the last one handing him a remote. We'll run every test we can.. We'll find out what's ailing you..) BEN CASEY I think what we have here is advanced third-degree encephelomarginalia.58 ALL NURSES SO I . Do you concur. TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS! ALL NURSES OOH OOH . I NEVER FELT SO BAD I NEED SOMETHING I NEVER HAD AND I'M READY . . NURSE MADE THIS APPOINTMENT NURSE AND I CLEARED YOUR AFTERNOON ALL NURSES YES.... What do you recommend. Frank Junior watches as Ben Casey makes a diagnosis. ALL NURSES LET ME TELL YA THAT NURSE MAYBE I NEVER LISTENED GOOD I NEVER DID THE THINGS I SHOULD BUT I'M READY TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS! NURSE BABY...L.. NURSE NEED ME A LITTLE "T. Doctor Casey? BEN CASEY Let's not jump to any conclusions.C.. Ben Casey always made it look easy on television. now that I think of it." THREE NURSES AND I GOTTA GET SOME SOON . (He snaps his fingers and a Ben Casey episode appears. (The Nurses leave him. standing over a patient with another doctor.) FRANK JUNIOR How am I going to get through this? Medicine? But. son. I ..
he's the head of Atlanta General. READY DOCTOR'S ORDERS NURSES OOH OOH .) NURSE MAYBE I NEED YOUR REMEDY DOC. calligraphy. Doctor Connors. Doctor .. DOCTOR WANAMAKER At the moment. Beneath a doctor of your qualifications. and press-on-letters. and you'd primarily be supervising residents and interns.. FRANK JUNIOR I should mention.. (He goes. the only thing open is overnight ER supervisor.. IT'S AN EMERGENCY AND I'M READY TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS NURSE BABY I NEED THE ANTIDOTE YOU'RE HIDING UNDER THAT WHITE LAB COAT YES I'M READY TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS NURSES OOH OOH . Slightly doddering. speaks to us) That’s gonna come in handy..59 FRANK JUNIOR (clicks it off. FRANK JUNIOR (to us) Act Two is brought to you by parchment paper.) No. so you wouldn't get much real patient contact— FRANK JUNIOR I'll take it. seriously. Hanratty? FRANK JUNIOR He’s my mentor. DOCTOR WANAMAKER You're just the perfect candidate. DOCTOR WANAMAKER And we also have your recommendation from Death Valley Children's Hospital. He's inspecting a parchment document. the sight of blood makes me vomit. (Wanamaker laughs.) DOCTOR WANAMAKER Harvard University! Very impressive. Welcome aboard.. and the nurses come back. READY DOCTOR'S ORDERS . Frank Junior laughs. DOCTOR WANAMAKER All right then. And you actually brought in your diploma. But there's the little matter of a med school degree — (He's joined by DOCTOR WANAMAKER. I could pick up a few books at the Emory bookstore. Frank Junior stops laughing and gives us a panicked look.
) FRANK JUNIOR Wait! Nurse! Not you! (He tries to follow. car versus bike.. I.. and pursues her. uh . And it didn’t hurt that she was the best nurse there. concur! I concur! Just go! Go! BRENDA You heard him! Go! Go! (She ushers them out as Frank Junior recovers. I needed the help.. Brenda lifts the bloody sheet. I .. but the Sexy Nurses return to block his way.. pushing a gurney. I knew. Should we set it or get a surgical consult? FRANK JUNIOR (Caseyesque—showing off for her) Let's not jump to any conclusions. (Two interns enter.. but— INTERN (interrupting.60 (BRENDA pushes her way through the passel of sexy nurses) BRENDA Doctor Conners! Doctor Conners! (Frank Junior turns and sees her and FRANK JUNIOR And there she was—in the middle of all those glamazons .. We'll run every test we can. Doctor Conners. The minute I saw her.. Doctor . she was the one. BRENDA (leading him to water) Okay. Nurse Strong.. FRANK JUNIOR (struggling not to lose it) Yes .) NURSES OOH-OOH-OOH OOH-OOH-OOH AH-AH . she was real.) BRENDA Doctor Conners! MVA. lifts sheet) He’s got a bone sticking out of his leg..
. TAKE OUT THAT STETHOSCOPE YOU MAY BE MY ONLY HOPE SO I'M READY READY TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS ALL NURSES TALKING ‘BOUT WHAM-BAM DAMN NURSE OXYGEN PLEASE.. Brenda enters. I haven’t been getting much sleep at the apartment these days.. Frank Junior grabs some shut-eye on a gurney.61 NURSE I KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT AN APPLE A DAY TO BE THE STRONGEST GAL IN TOWN BUT IF AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY I'M GONNA BURN THAT ORCHARD DOWN! NURSE BABY DON'T STOP UNTIL I'M HEALED OOH OOH . ENSEMBLE READY READY COME ON. uh . I was . I'M GONNA BURN THAT ORCHARD DOWN SONG ENDS. LET'S ROCK STEADY ALL MEN NURSES AND DOCTORS AHH .....) BRENDA Doctor Conners? Doctor Conners? FRANK JUNIOR (wakes with a start) Oh. HOT DAMN NURSES OOH OOH .. CAN'T CATCH MY BREATH DOCTOR YOU GOT THE KISS OF DEATH NURSES AND I'M READY READY COME ON. I'VE GOT BLUE CROSS AND I'VE GOT BLUE SHIELD AND I'M READY READY TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS DOCTOR'S ORDERS NURSE BABY... LET'S ROCK STEADY ALL 'CAUSE I'M READY .... FOR DOCTOR'S ORDERS! WOO! (The doctors and nurses exit. OOH ..... OOH .
.62 BRENDA Doctor Conners. dark red in translucent plastic.) Doctor? (A nurse strides through.) FRANK JUNIOR Nurse Strong! BRENDA I’m sorry. BRENDA (half beat) Goodbye. Is it me? BRENDA I’m so sorry. BRENDA Is there anything I can do? FRANK JUNIOR You could have coffee with me. Hello. .) NURSE O-negative! O-negative! Who’s got the O-negative? (Brenda holds it up and the nurse grabs it.. (She moves to go. BRENDA But their coffee’s worse than the tuna. Frank Junior takes one look and turns and clutches his stomach. Doctor Conners. groaning.. I've tried to start a conversation with you four times a day for eleven days and you’ve barely even said hello.. FRANK JUNIOR Hello. Oh! You mean have a cup of coffee in a social way. Pretend I’m a pilot. They don't like us to fraternize with the doctors.at the cafeteria. Or an astronaut. do you know which patient gets the O-Negative? (She holds up a blood bag. FRANK JUNIOR I guess I do. just some bad tuna. FRANK JUNIOR Pretend I'm not a doctor. sir.) BRENDA Are you okay? FRANK JUNIOR Sorry .
A playboy maybe. And they can't exactly find the hand .. no one ever listens to me. I mean. I don’t think I could see you as a pilot. Act like you have confidence. I’m the youngest nurse here. .63 BRENDA Oh. and pretty soon you will. no. It’s just . (Two Interns enter at a run. FRANK JUNIOR I’m not really in to all that Riverbend madness. sort of a part I play... BRENDA I’m just trying to do a good job. BRENDA Good day. Brenda steps up. Meat slicer. FRANK JUNIOR You’re very serious. They’re all so confident and sure of themselves and . no. Doctor Conners. (Frank Junior takes one look and starts to lose it.) INTERN Doctor Conners. Go! (The Interns hurry off.. BRENDA So you’re not really a skirt-chasing party animal. FRANK JUNIOR Hey—there's a smile.) BRENDA Trauma One.. tall. FRANK JUNIOR If you want them to listen. Act like you're not afraid. with a gurney. Doctor Conners. I'll call surgery.. BRENDA Thank you. And you’re the best nurse we have. you just want people to think you are? FRANK JUNIOR Well.) FRANK JUNIOR See? Look at you. FRANK JUNIOR I’m the youngest doctor here. we've got a kitchen accident. BRENDA Oh. sir. yeah. Okay? BRENDA (smiles) Okay. I mean—wait. you just have to sound like you know what you're talking about. and you won't be.
He sings.. And waits.) . Frank Junior watches her go. we cracked it pretty quickly— FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty. BRENDA Okay.. FRANK JUNIOR All right. then she remembers:) Oh! Surgery! (She hurries off. and Connecticut.. You were busy with Brenda. You weren't there. type of thing. watching him.. (Hanratty appears opposite. HANRATTY Sort of a .. HANRATTY I interviewed your parents. it's taking Agent Hanratty a really really long time to visit the house of every single runaway—[in New York. It's my show. Maybe this part is my show. (a moment. (Frank Junior gestures: Have at it. Phillip Marlowe. New Jersey. MUSIC.) HANRATTY Sooner or later.64 FRANK JUNIOR Call me Frank.) SONG: LIVE IN LIVING COLOR (REPRISE) FRANK JUNIOR LIVE IN LIVING COLOR NOW THE PICTURE SEEMS SO CLEAR SHE'S ALIVE IN LIVING COLOR SO EXCUSE ME WHILE I DISAPPEAR . Fine. FRANK JUNIOR Brenda wasn't a mistake.. film noir . Hanratty turns to us. HANRATTY Sooner or later— FRANK JUNIOR (abruptly turns to us) Meanwhile. they always make a mistake. Frank.] HANRATTY (also to us) Actually. FRANK JUNIOR Sure.
. So hot my ass was sticking to the seat of my car like a fly on paper and my suit was my own personal sauna. Hanratty will become the fourth. She gave new meaning to the words femme fatale. a few years older. (MUSIC. with three handsome DANCING BOYS. even for August. Paula enters. Paula Abagnale and the Abagnale Dancers perform "Dancing Around the Subject". But not as hot as the woman I was about to interview.65 HANRATTY It was hot.) FRANK JUNIOR Ladies and Gentlemen. Too bad she was some poor kid’s mother.
) HANRATTY That's him.. (One of the Handsome Dancing Men hands her the yearbook. that's him. it's possible. She opens the book up. HANRATTY Yes.. (reads from yearbook) Class Treasurer? PAULA Is Frankie in some sort of trouble? HANRATTY Ma'am. He has been passing bad checks. Unlikely. and Hanratty grabs it.. but possible. since he ran away. If you wanted to raise a crook. I'll write you a check— HANRATTY So far it's one-point-four million dollars. you should be very proud. Heavens to Betsy. PAULA I don't have a recent one. PAULA Ce n'est pas possible.. forging government documents— PAULA Well? So? Half of the kids his age are on dope but instead you chase after Frankie because he made a little mistake? Tant pis. his junior class yearbook .66 Scene 3: The Barnes House and A Bar. New Rochelle PAULA I haven’t seen Frankie. Tell me how much he owes.. your son's in a great deal of trouble. PAULA It sounds like Frankie’s good at this.. HANRATTY Oh. Here . I ALWAYS KNEW I’D SEE THIS DAY I CAN’T SAY IT’S A SHOCK WHAT’S THAT EXPRESSION? QU’EST-CE QUE C’EST? HE’S “A CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK” BUT IF YOU SEE HIM PLEASE PASS ON THIS PLEA DON’T BE A STRANGER TELL HIM THAT FOR ME HANRATTY If I could just look at a photo . .
) FRANK SENIOR I GUESS TO YOU I SEEM A SCHMUCK WELL. (Split scene: The Barnes living room splits the stage with a dive bar. HANRATTY And would I find his father? PAULA Check the bars in town. PAULA THOUGH I TRIED. I'LL JUST BIDE MY TIME PAULA IN LOVE. Paula continues to dance with the THREE ATTRACTIVE MEN in the background. A NEW ROMANCE IS IT A CRIME TO SAY I MADE A CHOICE AND CHOSE WHAT'S BEST FOR ME HANRATTY Where might I locate your son? PAULA Ask his father. He says Frankie writes to him. ma'am. ALL'S FAIR . HANRATTY Okay then. I COULDN'T HIDE WHEN LOVE HAD FLOWN AWAY CHILDREN CLOSE THEIR EYES BUT STILL THEY SEE I TOOK A CHANCE. Is that what you're saying? HANRATTY I don't do blame.67 PAULA MY FRANKIE HAD A CLEVER MIND HE COULD SPEND HOURS ALL ALONE I WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN SURPRISED TO FIND HE CHANGED HIS DIAPER ON HIS OWN COULD I HAVE BEEN THERE MORE? WELL. Frank Senior on a barstool. I just catch the bad guys. C’EST LA VIE DON’T BE A STRANGER TELL HIM THAT FOR ME HANRATTY You haven't heard from him since you left your husband? PAULA I'm to blame.
FRANK SENIOR Okay. Here's the truth. He never was. I just wanted to see what you knew. I expect a father to do that. HANRATTY Can I see that letter? . HANRATTY Do you have any idea where your child is? FRANK SENIOR He's always in the air. Real bullets. SONG ENDS. I’d like to bring him in alive. serving his country. I do.68 FRANK SENIOR 'CAUSE I BELIEVE THAT LADY LUCK CAN STILL TURN ON A DIME PAULA COMME A LA GUERRE FRANK SENIOR AND MAYBE ONE WILL ONCE AGAIN BE THREE PAULA C'EST C'QUE J'AI TOUJOURS DIT FRANK SENIOR DON'T BE A STRANGER TELL THEM THAT FOR ME PAULA DON'T BE A STRANGER TELL HIM THAT FOR ME BOTH (NO) DON'T BE A STRANGER TELL HIM (THEM) THAT FOR ME. He signed up. (looks Hanratty over) You expect a father to give up his son. (waves an envelope) Got a letter from him just today. Real guns. Mister Abagnale. Your son is a counterfeiter and a con man. Now listen to me. Mister Abagnale. He's a pilot for Pan Am! What a life! HANRATTY Your son isn’t a pilot with anyone. People get shot in my line of work. HANRATTY Yes. He's over in Nam. FRANK SENIOR I knew that.
(The BARTENDER turns to pour for them—and it's Frank Junior. Carl. Not a bad way to leave his troubles behind. HANRATTY Is that what you taught your son? FRANK SENIOR A man should go after what he wants in life. (MUSIC. Don't let the bastards get the best of you. Frank Junior quietly replaced by the regular BARTENDER. puts letter away) No return address. risking his life for you and me.69 FRANK SENIOR (shakes his head. FRANK SENIOR Please—Frank. FRANK SENIOR Then I think we're all in a lot of trouble. Jesus Christ. (He smiles and exits as Hanratty and Frank Senior turn back downstage.) HANRATTY Mister Abagnale. when the banks and the government and the big boys try to rob you blind. You might be the only one who can. You can tell him to stop. the game. and JFK all rolled into one. I'd say. . FRANK SENIOR What can I possibly do for him that he can't do better for himself? HANRATTY You can tell him to come in. HANRATTY A man should face up to what he's done. He's in country. HANRATTY The game? FRANK SENIOR You know. Hell. Look out for yourself. Me. I did the best I could. I told him I loved him—every day. the kid used to see me as Dean Martin. I couldn't live up to that. HANRATTY Frank.) A saloon song for two lonely souls. Your kid needs you now.) FRANK JUNIOR These two need some music. What could they possibly have in common? Oh yeah. He got out of the game at just the right time.
FRANK SENIOR Way of the world. right? FRANK SENIOR You got any kids. Of darkness. BE A MAN FRANK SENIOR LITTLE BOY. we turn around and do the same to our kids.. Carl? HANRATTY I do not. GROW SOME BALLS FRANK SENIOR Oh. FRANK SENIOR Hah! HANRATTY LITTLE MAN. YOU'RE NO PETER PAN. Carl. HANRATTY Yeah." HANRATTY But you want to do your kid better. RUN!" . FRANK SENIOR Then what the hell do you know about it? I suppose your father was a prince.70 HANRATTY Maybe you should've told him not to commit grand larceny. I CAME OUT JUST FINE AND IF I EVER WOULD CRY HE'D SMACK THE TEAR FROM OUT MY EYE HE TOLD ME "GROW UP. THAT MOTTO RANG THROUGHOUT THE HALLS ON MY TENTH BIRTHDAY HE SHOWED ME A GUN THEN TOOK ME TO THE CORNFIELDS AND SAID "OKAY . I'D HAVE LOVED A HUG BUT HEY. Every single day. HANRATTY Until someone breaks it. KID. LITTLE BOY. HANRATTY I swear to God. BE A MAN. Our fathers screw us up.. he did not. THAT WAS POP'S ONLY PLAN HE NEVER KISSED ME OR SANG "BABY MINE" SURE. It's the eternal cycle. SONG: LITTLE BOY. BE A MAN YEAH.
Carl. GROW SOME BALLS BOTH BALLGAMES THAT HE MISSED NIGHTS HE CAME HOME PISSED WELL. I DON'T THINK ABOUT THAT ANY LONGER HANRATTY NO ONE IN THE BLEACHERS FRANK SENIOR FISTFIGHTS WITH MY TEACHERS BOTH I'M LIVING PROOF WHAT DOESN'T KILL YA MAKES YA STRONGER! HANRATTY So what do you say we set the kid straight. WHEN YOU HAVE A KID HANRATTY MY EX SAID HEAVEN FORBID . (he sings) LITTLE MAN. (pulls the envelope out. the kid's great.71 HIS SENSE OF HUMOR WAS LAME FRANK SENIOR Like father. HANRATTY LUCKY FOR ME. HANRATTY You're sure about that? FRANK SENIOR Ya gotta let go. like son. waves it) A pilot! Serving his country! (slaps the envelope on the bar) He's doin' fine. LITTLE ME THEY COME WITH NO WARRANTY I TRIED TO FIX IT BUT WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED BOTH IT'S HARD TO SAY BUT FATHER DOESN'T ALWAYS KNOW BEST FRANK SENIOR SO CARL. huh Frank? FRANK SENIOR (thickly) Aw. Can't hold on forever. SO WAS HIS AIM! IF HE HAD SEWN SOME NEEDLEPOINT THAT HUNG ON THE WALLS (IT WOULDA SAID) LITTLE MAN.
TRANSITION TO .) BARTENDER Anything else for ya? HANRATTY Payphone? I need to get to Atlanta. he is home. Slaps it against his hand. (MUSIC. NOT AS I DID BOTH LIKE DAD AFTER DAD AFTER DAD AFTER DAD SINCE THE WHOLE MESS BEGAN FRANK SENIOR YOU DO THE BEST YOU CAN HANRATTY LITTLE BOY. and pass out cold.) SONG: MAN INSIDE THE CLUES (REPRISE) HANRATTY I’VE LOOKED INTO SO MANY LIVES BUT NEVER GOT THIS CLOSE THE DISTANCE MADE IT EASIER TO SEE I LIKE TO DO THE JOB AT HAND AND THEN IT’S “ADIOS” BUT HERE’S A CASE THAT’S GOT THE BEST OF ME AN ENVELOPE WITH HIS ADDRESS A BRAND NEW SET OF TRACKS LEADING TO A KID WITH NO ROADS LEFT TO CHOOSE THERE’S NO ONE LEFT TO SAVE THE DAY IT’S TIME TO FACE THE FACTS SO I’LL TAKE THAT RIDE TO THE BOY INSIDE THE CLUES (He goes. Music switches to “MAN INSIDE THE CLUES” Hanratty picks up the letter. okay? BARTENDER Buddy. sit hard. (Hanratty watches Frank Senior waver.. Hanratty steps outside the bar. BE A MAN SONG ENDS. (pulls out a few bills) Make sure he gets home.. ) . Checks the return address.72 FRANK SENIOR DO AS I SAY. head on the bar.
. (She groans.U. FRANK JUNIOR Brenda. You know girls from everywhere. Why me? FRANK JUNIOR Because . Frank. it took a month just to get you to talk to me. and he wasn’t very nice to me. I love that I can ask you anything. and on the morning of my wedding day I looked at myself in my dress and I realized I didn’t want to marry him.C.. BRENDA But you’re the Harvard graduate world traveler and I'm just .) BRENDA I’m sorry. BRENDA You say that now. (reaches for her) You know I'll never hurt you. and Italy. I love that you’re good at your job and that you work hard. Code Blue! Party in the I. it’s fine—I love a challenge. And I haven’t been back since. And so I left. FRANK JUNIOR I think we have more than you know. why'd you leave New Orleans? BRENDA (turns away) Oh. and think of all the beautiful women there must be in Germany. FRANK JUNIOR No. (Brenda emerges.. He was the son of my father’s law partner. I'm sorry.. I love that I can be myself around you. it’s okay—I can wait. FRANK JUNIOR Brenda. FRANK JUNIOR You ran away! Wow.. I want to. BRENDA I didn’t mean to be rude. ordinary. I just—I’m not ready.) FRANK JUNIOR Brenda. To be married. I’d wait forever for you. But we have nothing in common. No reason. Well—I sort of ran away. like . Why would you do something like that? BRENDA I was engaged. .. It’s okay. Home. Frank? You could have any nurse here. (Frank Junior emerges from the covers.73 Scene 4: Atlanta General Hospital INTERCOM Code Blue. I mean. BRENDA But why me. You've been to Paris.) Brenda come on.
BRENDA THE AURORA BOREALIS? FRANK JUNIOR JUST A NIGHT LIGHT ON THE FRITZ BRENDA STONEHENGE? FRANK JUNIOR JUST A BUNCH OF ROCKS . THE GRAND CANYON? JUST A HOLE. (MUSIC. I don't need a fancy restaurant or a huge orchestra— (He sneaks a look to the bandstand. I don't need Paris.) All that other stuff was just what I found along way .. I'VE SEEN THE SEVEN WONDERS IF YOU GIVE OR TAKE A FEW BUT ALL THEM SEVEN WONDERS WELL. THEY CAN'T COMPARE TO YOU I'VE BEEN A LOTTA PLACES YES.74 FRANK JUNIOR Ordinary is beautiful. I'VE TRAVELED NEAR AND FAR BUT NOW I KNOW THAT HOME IS WHERE YOU ARE. while I was looking for you. THE TAJ MAHAL? A FIXER-UPPER.) SONG: SEVEN WONDERS FRANK JUNIOR I'VE SEEN THE SEVEN WONDERS IF YOU GIVE OR TAKE A FEW BUT ALL THEM SEVEN WONDERS WELL. And maybe a little mood lighting. (Frank sings. THEY CAN'T COMPARE TO YOU I'VE BEEN A LOTTA PLACES YES. I'VE TRAVELED NEAR AND FAR BUT NOW I KNOW THAT HOME IS WHERE YOU ARE NIAGARA FALLS? A LEAKY FAUCET THAT A PLUMBER OUGHTA FIX THE PYRAMIDS? ARE REALLY JUST A DUSTY PILE OF BRICKS..) —just some subtle orchestrations. THE GRAND CANAL IN VENICE? AN EYE-TALIAN TOILET BOWL.
Don't tease me. MY TRAVELIN' DAYS ARE OVER GET THE CHECK. Brenda.75 BRENDA LA BREA'S TAR? FRANK JUNIOR THE PITS. Frank.. tell them we're in love. BRENDA My father is very intimidating. FRANK JUNIOR The clock's ticking. BRENDA HOW 'BOUT THE LEANING TOWER OF PISA? FRANK JUNIOR LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING UP AND BROKE.. JUST STANDING STILL. FRANK JUNIOR We could go to your parents. NOW I KNOW . (sings) I'VE BEEN A LOTTA PLACES BUT I'VE LEARNED NOW NEAR AND FAR THERE'S NO NEED TO ROAM 'CAUSE HOME IS WHERE YOU ARE BRENDA THERE'S NO NEED TO ROAM 'CAUSE HOME IS WHERE YOU ARE FRANK JUNIOR YES. BRENDA We can't just run away. if you were engaged? BRENDA Come on. You're the overnight ER supervisor. I can't—I don't want to be a doctor forever. FRANK JUNIOR Do you think you could go home again . I want to make a home with you. I'LL PAY THE BILL 'CAUSE I SEE ALL THE WONDERS IN YOUR EYES. BRENDA MOUNT RUSHMORE? FRANK JUNIOR SOMEONE CLIMB UP THERE AND TELL THEM BOYS A JOKE! FRANK JUNIOR + BRENDA YES. FRANK JUNIOR I won't. You'll change your mind. We can run away tonight.
fast forward a few weeks for a little segment I like to call "Frank's on First. Frank Junior speaks to us. SONG ENDS. (As they ride off stage on their respective gurneys.76 FRANK JUNIOR + BRENDA THAT HOME IS WHERE YOU ARE." .) FRANK JUNIOR While Brenda and I go get dressed. and catch the train to Nawlins.
) HANRATTY Doctor. William Franklin.. Frank William Abagnale. (Branton pulls out a picture of Frank Junior) BRANTON Have you seen a man who looked like this? WANAMAKER Maybe . Frank Williams. Dollar. and Dollar with Doctor Wanamaker. Branton. WANAMAKER Wilson Robertson? DOLLAR Robert Wilkinson? HANRATTY Shut up. WANAMAKER He looks like a pilot. and William Franklin Williams. HANRATTY He's not a pilot. HANRATTY He's not a pilot. HANRATTY William Robertson. we're looking for a man who goes by the names of Frank Abagnale. WANAMAKER That's a lot of names.. But that man's a pilot. Lights on Hanratty. A Couple Weeks Later (MUSIC. HANRATTY (to quick head shakes from Wanamaker) What about Robert Franklin? Frank Thompson? Frank Meyers? Meyer Williams? William Robertson? WANAMAKER Robert Wilson? DOLLAR Robert Williamson. WANAMAKER So is he a doctor? .77 Scene 5: Hospital Corridor. Cod. Frank Taylor.
K. WANAMAKER You know. Dollar. Too bad—good doctor.A. COD Frank Conners. Turned in all his paperwork on time. DOLLAR I knew a Frank Collins in high school. we did have a Frank Conners. . HANRATTY So who's Frank Collins? WANAMAKER You tell me. Looked like this? WANAMAKER Without the uniform. do you have any idea who you're looking for? (Branton pulls out another photo) BRANTON Frank William Abagnale Junior. Brenda something. Frank— HANRATTY Shut up. Frank Taylor.78 HANRATTY Wait—he's a doctor? WANAMAKER Are you asking me or telling me? HANRATTY Did he say he's a doctor? WANAMAKER Son. Don't know where. COD Frank Collins? WANAMAKER Frank Conners. HANRATTY + COD + BRANTON + WANAMAKER Shut up. I don't know. Frank Williams. DOLLAR Jeez. HANRATTY Frank Conners. DOLLAR A. Dollar. Ran off with a nurse.
(He gives her a little nudge. Frank Junior is behind her. (he crosses to join the Strongs.79 HANRATTY You let this man operate on patients? WANAMAKER Oh. District Attorney.. And featuring the lovely. supportively. on:) . as if looking into the camera. and stands by the dining room table. Lights change. refined. in tableau. Now. MUSIC: A vaudeville out.) FRANK JUNIOR (to us) Introducing our newest young star.. and she runs to the dining room. . Brenda Strong. and unique Mrs. witty. brilliant. Frank Junior continues presenting as each Strong enters in turn.. no. Roger Strong . BRENDA And now. He just supervised the ER. And the cultured. at home with the Strong family! (turns to Frank Junior) Are you sure you're ready for this? FRANK JUNIOR I was born ready.) FRANK JUNIOR Go ahead. Why? HANRATTY Let's go.. (Hanratty and men leave. and incredibly intimidating future father-in-law. introducing the newest feature on our show. you ever go in to take out someone’s appendix and come out with something else? WANAMAKER Once or twice. HANRATTY For the love of—Doc. Brenda stands nervously in a spot. with some dread. Carol Strong.
Frank. Death Valley Children's Hospital. I think you landed one this time. ROGER + BRENDA Amen. Family is the most important thing. Amen. First Lutheran Church of Death Valley. Much better than that ratty little Delacroix boy. Where did you learn that. CAROL Amen and goddamn that was beautiful. sir. I'm an only child. This one's a hunky hunk of you-betcha. ROGER They have a Children's Hospital in Death Valley? FRANK JUNIOR Yes. (folds hands. absolutely. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned but the second mouse. CAROL Well goddamn and gumbo. Right behind the Macy’s. you were in California? FRANK JUNIOR Yes.) ROGER And before Atlanta. Do you come from a large family? FRANK JUNIOR Please. now. Don't lie to me. BRENDA Mother. We pick up the scene in progress. bows head.80 Scene 6: The Strong House. New Orleans (The tableau comes to life as all take their seats for dinner. I am a Lutheran. would you like to say grace? (off Frank Junior's hesitation:) Unless you're not comfortable. . thinks) Two little mice fell into a bucket of cream. call me Frank. no. ROGER Well then. but I hope to have lots of kids. yes. he struggled so hard that he eventually churned that cream into butter and walked out. sir. sir. Are you a Lutheran? FRANK JUNIOR Why. CAROL Ding ding! Correct answer. ah. FRANK JUNIOR Oh. Brenda. you pious piece of cutie-pie? FRANK JUNIOR The. But now for the make-or-break round. ROGER Doctor Conners.
could he Daddy? Could he please? Could he come work with you please? ROGER So. Fantastic. I’ve been thinking about getting back into law. Columbia .. the yummy Yankee is a doctor and a lawyer! Oh. I passed the bar in California. why not try my hand at pediatrics? BRENDA Well. Roger. meaner than ever.. I practiced law for a year. then:) I'm sorry.. Frank should work for you. Frank. to be quite honest. Grumpy old Hollingsworth.81 ROGER Frank. what was the name of his little dog? FRANK JUNIOR (works the problem. then I decided. ROGER Are you a doctor or a lawyer? FRANK JUNIOR Before I went to medical school. BRENDA Oh. right? I tell ya. you got yourself magic on a stick with this one! ROGER Where did you go to law school? Harvard.. CAROL Sakes alive. Yale. aren’t you full of surprises. CAROL Oh my saints and stars. Was that snake Hollingsworth still teaching there when you went through Berkeley? FRANK JUNIOR Hollingsworth . yes. The dog was dead when I got there. BRENDA + CAROL Berkeley! BRENDA That's where daddy went! FRANK JUNIOR Oh! Wow. darlin'. ? FRANK JUNIOR Berkeley. FRANK JUNIOR (a look to us: he's surprised himself) Yes I am. ROGER And that dog of his? Tell me Frank. Brenda. have you decided which hospital you want to work at here in New Orleans? FRANK JUNOR Well. You're always bellyachin' about how hard it is to find assistant prosecutors who aren't bayou inbreds. .
. a lawyer. I’m just a kid who’s in love with your daughter. I’m nothing. Frank? 'Cause I think you're about to ask my daughter's hand in marriage. really. sir . Carol jumps up:) CAROL Oh.) BRENDA Oh. Tell me the truth. look at the time! ROGER Is it seven-thirty already? BRENDA Is it time for Mitch? FRANK JUNIOR Mitch? CAROL Come on. (pause) You’re a romantic. FRANK JUNIOR I am? ROGER Yes you are.. we’ve been through all this before with her. FRANK JUNIOR The truth? The truth. Daddy! But..82 ROGER How unfortunate. FRANK JUNIOR Well goddamn and gumbo! (All laugh. FRANK JUNIOR Know what. Frank. The truth is I’m not a lawyer. I'd like to hear the truth from you now. sir. a Lutheran. Frank! (Brenda and Frank kiss... sir? ROGER The truth. What are you doing here? What is a man of your accomplishments doing with Brenda? After all. FRANK JUNIOR Brenda’s the best girl I’ve ever known. Daddy. A doctor. Men like us are nothing without the women we love.. I know what you are. is . I’m not a doctor... ROGER No. and I have a right to know. y’all! . She’s the real thing. If you want my daughter . So what are you. ROGER But who are you Frank? If you want my blessing .
P. Mother. MUSIC. CAROL AND MEN WA-WAH WA-WA-WA-WAH .V.) MITCH MILLER NBC Presents: Sing Along With Mitch! Starring me. and the Sing Along Gang! Hey! Don't just sit there. Mitch Miller. MITCH MILLER appears. Let's begin with all those beautiful mothers! ROGER Take it.S. SONG: (OUR) FAMILY TREE CAROL I FEEL A MIGHTY QUAKE THE SOUTH BEGINS TO SHAKE UNDER OUR FAMILY TREE THE LEAVES BEGIN TO BLOW GONE WITH THE WIND THEY GO ALL THROUGH OUR FAMILY TREE UP TOP MAGNOLIAS BLOOM THEY SPREAD A SWEET PERFUME FOR THIS ANCESTRAL JUBILEE NOW EVERY BOUGH MUST PULL ITS WEIGHT IT’S TIME TO PRUNE AND PROPAGATE WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY TREE MITCH MILLER Let's hear from those fantastic fathers! ROGER I HEAR THE DOGWOOD'S BARK A SEED'S BEGUN TO SPARK INSIDE OUR FAMILY TREE A TWIG BEGINS TO POKE FROM OUT THAT MIGHTY OAK TO JOIN OUR JAMBOREE CAROL Ruff! Tsst! FAMILY TREE CAROL JAMBOREE MEN SAVE SOME OF THAT GUMBO FOR ME ROGER AND LADIES AND LIKE A SLIDE TROMBONE HE GLIDES OUT FULLY GROWN A DIXIELAND R. Come on and sing! This one's for the whole family.83 FRANK JUNIOR Who’s Mitch? (They all head for the couch.
welcome to the Family Tree. will you marry me? BRENDA Yes Frank Conners. but I wouldn’t change a single one. ALL WOO!! FRANK JUNIOR I'LL GIVE A REBEL YELL TO EVERY SOUTHERN BELLE UNDER OUR FAMILY TREE I'LL SWING THE SECOND LINE WHEN OUR TWO CLANS COMBINE FOR SOME BIG FRANK JUNIOR + ALL EASY HARMONY FRANK JUNIOR TRUMPETS BEGIN TO SHOUT TO WELCOME YOUR NEW SPROUT YOU'VE CHARMED THIS YANKEE REFUGEE YOU’RE ALL SO LUSH AND OVERGROWN BUT I KNOW I’LL NEVER BE ALONE I'M GLAD TO CLIMB YOUR FAMILY TREE ROGER + CAROL + BRENDA + FRANK JUNIOR YOUR LOVE HAS RAISED THE BAR I'M SWINGIN' ON A STAR DOO WOW! FRANK JUNIOR FOR THAT WHO NEEDS A LAW DEGREE?!? GIRLS THE TREES THAT BEAR THE RIPEST FRUITS STRONG FAMILY SINGERS DOO WOW! . Brenda Strong. because they all led me to you. I will marry you. MITCH MILLER Frank.84 ROGER AND NO ONE MINDS AN EXTRA LIMB CAROL ESPECIALLY WHEN IT LOOKS LIKE HIM ROGER + CAROL + LADIES SO WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY TREE MITCH MILLER Ready Frank? FRANK JUNIOR (goes down on one knee) I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life.
BOYS ARE THE TREES THAT HAVE THE DEEPEST ROOTS ROGER + CAROL + BRENDA SO WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY STRONGS + STRONG FAMILY SINGERS WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY TREE Look out old Frankie is home! SONG ENDS. (After applause: MUSIC. Roger takes Carol and they dance close. Much as Frank Senior and Paula danced at the top of the show. Frank Junior watches Roger and Carol dance. Brenda returns and helps Frank Junior on with a trench coat. He gives her a kiss, and as Roger and Carol dance off we TRANSITION TO:) FRANK JUNIOR I'M WELCOME IN THE FAMILY TREE!
Scene 7: Dive Bar, New Rochelle (Frank Senior, in a postal uniform, at the bar, a crusty old BARTENDER behind it. Frank Junior enters.) FRANK JUNIOR Dad. FRANK SENIOR (turns, doesn't go to him) What are you doing here? FRANK JUNIOR I came to see you. Why are you dressed like that? FRANK SENIOR I took a job. A government job. I'm beating them at their own game. I'm a government employee—you see how beautiful that is? You got a good lawyer? FRANK JUNIOR I sort of am a lawyer now. FRANK SENIOR Look at this letter. The I.R.S. wants more. They ate the cake. Now they want the crumbs. You know what? I'll make them chase me. For the rest of their lives. (looks at Frank Junior) I had an FBI agent come see me. FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty. FRANK SENIOR You got their number, son. The United States government, champ. Running for the hills. FRANK JUNIOR Dad. It's over. I'm gonna stop now. FRANK SENIOR They're never gonna catch you, Frankie. Why would you stop? FRANK JUNIOR I'm settling down. I'm going to raise a family. (reaches into his coat, pulls out an invitation) I came here to give you this. It's an invitation to an engagement party. Daddy, I'm getting married. Can you believe it? I'm getting married. I've got two tickets for you and mom, first-class, for the wedding— FRANK SENIOR Why would you do that? You're on top of the world. FRANK JUNIOR I'm changing my life, Dad. And you won't have to worry about anything anymore. The house, the Cadillac, Everything they took from us. I’m going to get it all back. And Mom’s gonna see— FRANK SENIOR Your mother's remarried. To my friend Jack Barnes. They have a house out on Long Island.
FRANK JUNIOR Why would she do that? FRANK SENIOR Don't get married, Frankie. FRANK JUNIOR But—why would she do that to us? FRANK SENIOR There's no us anymore. Listen to me. I'm your father. FRANK JUNIOR Then tell me to stop. FRANK SENIOR Why would I tell you to stop? FRANK JUNIOR Because you're my father. FRANK SENIOR You can't stop. You're on a winning streak. You gotta ride it. You gotta ride that, baby. (as Frank Junior begins to back away.) You're an Abagnale! (a cappella, he sings:) THEY KNEW THE KEY TO LIFE (Frank Jr. pushes him away and exits.) Hey, come on and sing it with me, Frankie ... CAUSE WHEN LEMONS CLOG YOUR SINK UP DON’T JUST STAND AROUND AND SCREAM (to the band) Hey, hit it guys ... SPIKE SOME LEMONADE AND DRINK UP AND MAKE BUTTER OUT OF CREAM JUST MAKE BUTTER ... (speaks, almost inaudibly, and almost in darkness:) Frankie. (Suddenly a jangly phone RING pierces the darkness. Frank Junior steps into one spot, Hanratty into another. Both on the phone.) HANRATTY Well, well, Doctor Conners. What do you want? FRANK JUNIOR I want it to be over. I'm getting married, Carl. I'm settling down. I'm going to have a family.
Please. I know you rented that car in Shreveport. HANRATTY And does she know the truth? About who you are? FRANK JUNIOR Do you? HANRATTY Almost all of it. (Branton snaps his fingers. MUSIC. BRANTON He would've changed his name by now..88 HANRATTY You have stolen almost two million dollars. HANRATTY Listen. get all the Louisiana papers. Frank Conners. HANRATTY You're scared because you know I'm getting closer. You will go to jail. And you're tired. he loses the girl. Branton joins Hanratty). And TRANSITION TO:) . I met the girl . the one. Hanratty looks at us. (Frank Junior hangs up. Carl. Blackout. Frank.) HANRATTY They always make a mistake. HANRATTY He can't. She knows him as Frank Conners. You will be caught. Look for an engagement notice. The hotel in Lake Charles. but Frank Junior stands stock still in his spot. FRANK JUNIOR I'm getting married. and goes. Carl. You think we’re just going to call that a wedding present? This is not something that you can run away from. Hanratty hangs up. Where did you think this was headed? FRANK JUNIOR Please let me stop. FRANK JUNIOR Goodbye Carl.. last two months. He loses the name. You're scared.
Brenda sweeps in. I never went to medical school. I’ll be too afraid—I’m no good at lying. But we all have secrets. You're not a Lutheran? FRANK JUNIOR Okay. I can’t. BRENDA Frank. or whether I had a different name? (He opens a suitcase to throw some clothes in. I use the name Frank Taylor. BRENDA Frank. or whether I was sick.) BRENDA Frank. you're gonna meet me at Miami International Airport. engagement gifts from Daddy's friends— (breaks off. a Lutheran. sees what he's doing:) What're you doing? Everyone's downstairs waiting to meet the groom-to-be. right? That's who I am with you... I'm not a lawyer. That's my secret. and it's full of money. Here’s money.. or a . right? BRENDA Of course. And you're not going to tell anyone. I'm not a doctor. or a Harvard graduate. Sometimes when I travel. Here's what we're gonna do. FRANK JUNIOR We have to leave. what are you talking about? Why are you saying all this? FRANK JUNIOR I don't want to lie to you anymore. What’s going on? FRANK JUNIOR I mean. right—what's a name? My name is Frank Conners. in a party dress. .89 Scene 8: Brenda's Bedroom. Brenda.. BRENDA Frank . In two days. BRENDA What? FRANK JUNIOR You love me. take a taxi cab. you love me no matter what? BRENDA Well—of course. You’re gonna leave the house after your parents go to sleep. I ran away from home two years ago when I was sixteen. Not even your parents. Strong House. or a Berkeley graduate.) BRENDA Frank. where should I put these? They're checks. Frank. New Orleans (Frank Junior madly pulling suitcases from beneath the bed. where'd you get all that money? FRANK JUNIOR A name. FRANK JUNIOR Whether I was poor. give the driver that money and tell him to drive all through the night.
Men who shoot to kill. No time for goodbyes.) BRENDA I don’t think I can do this alone. this could end very badly. Now! BRENDA I can’t. and Hanratty enter. Please tell me your name. William. Abagnale. He pulls away gently. Frank.90 FRANK JUNIOR You know you can do this. Junior. Before you go. Roger. and you will be. BRENDA I love you. FRANK JUNIOR I love you too. FRANK JUNIOR I know you can. Where is he? BRENDA He’s gone. We’ve got men after him in every state. BRENDA Frank— FRANK JUNIOR Shh. gently:) Listen to me. You need to tell me where he’s going. (He turns to go. (He kisses her again and slips out the window. but she pulls him back. You have to. Brenda. . HANRATTY Where’d he go? (gets no answer.) CAROL (offstage) Brenda! HANRATTY Brenda. then. (He grabs the suitcase to go. Is Frank. sweetheart. It’s like I told you before—act like you're brave. (They kiss.) BRENDA Frank! Please. (A spotlight appears. I’m gonna see you real soon. Carol.) The spotlight’s on you now. He guides Brenda to it. FRANK JUNIOR My name.) I have to go now.
you’ll do the right thing. HE SURE UNLOCKED MY SOUL SO IN RETURN.. GOODBYE NO NEED TO TELL ME WHY MY BABY MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY THREE WOMEN OOH-OOH. HANRATTY (to Brenda. FLY . Three of the guests saw someone leaving out the back. FLY AWAY .) SONG: FLY. FLY AWAY BRENDA WHEN I WAS A CHILD MY EYES WERE CLEAR... (Roger shakes his head and exits. FLY. (Hanratty.) COD Hanratty.91 (Cod bursts in. I SURELY WANT TO HELP TO SET HIM FREE . if you love him.. I'LL BE YOUR ALIBI MY BABY FLY.) Young lady. OOH-OOH. and Cod go. Carol.. moving to go) Don’t go anywhere.. MMM-MMM. darling.. I SAW THE GOOD SIDE THAT'S THE KIND OF SECOND SIGHT THAT DOESN'T LAST TOO LONG BUT WHEN I WAS LOST I HEARD A VOICE THAT BROUGHT ME HEALING THAT'S THE KIND OF SPECIAL HOPE HE BROUGHT ME WITH HIS SONG PEOPLE ONLY SAW THE DOCTOR. AH-AH BRENDA MEN WHO THEY CALL REAL THREE WOMEN . YEAH.. (Brenda continues to look at the pool of light. LAWYER. I DIDN'T GET TO SAY GOODBYE.) ROGER Brenda. WITH HIS SWEET AND GENTLE TOUCH. NOW I WANNA SEE HIM FLY . INDIAN CHIEF BUT HE WAS JUST A LONELY LITTLE BOY TO ME.
AAH. OOH-OOH. FLY AWAY … GOODBYE BOY. AAH-AAH.. I'LL BE YOUR ALIBI MY BABY FLY. AAH.. OOH … FLY … FLY … FLY. FLY. AH-AH. FLY ... FLY AWAY . NOW I WANNA SEE HIM FLY . CRUEL MEN WITH CHRISTIAN NAMES WHO TAUGHT ME MANNERS BUT THIS MAN WITHOUT A NAME TAUGHT ME HOW TO FEEL THEY ONLY SAW THE MAGIC TRICKS THE SMOKE AND MIRRORS OOH-OOH-OOH.. BRING HIM DOWN AAH-AAH. WE DIDN'T GET TO SAY GOODBYE.. FLY. AAH-AAH .. OOH-OOH-OOH WAS I THE ONLY ONE TO EVER SEE THE BOY SO NOW THEY WANNA CLIP HIS PRECIOUS WINGS AND BRING HIM DOWN BUT IN HIS HEART AND SOUL'S THE KIND OF GOOD THEY CAN'T DESTROY (Brenda’s bedroom starts to go away) YEAH. MMM-MMM.. FLY AWAY . YOU AND I. WE DIDN'T GET TO SAY GOODBYE. OOH-OOH OOH-OOH AAH-OOH-OOH. OOH-OOH-OOH. FLY. I'VE KNOWN CRUEL. AAH-AAH... FLY . I'LL BE YOUR ALIBI MY BABY FLY.92 WERE REALLY FAKES WHO LEFT ME NOTHING MMM-MMM-MMM BUT THIS MAN THEY CALL A FAKE GAVE ME SOMETHING REAL AH.. GOODBYE NO NEED TO TELL ME WHY MY BABY MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY BABY WHEN YOU'RE IN THE CLOUDS PLEASE KEEP A LOOKOUT MAYBE DARLING FIND A HIDEAWAY FOR YOU AND I YOU AND I NOW I'LL SEE HIM FLY . OOH-OOHOOH-OOH. GOODBYE NO NEED TO TELL ME WHY MY BABY MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY FLY FLY AWAY GOODBYE MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE OOH-OOH.. OOH-OOH.
OOH. In black. the deafening roar of a jet plane taking off. MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY AND I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU THERE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY.) . OOH-OOH-OOH. OOH-OOH-OOH-OOH. (Lights to black.93 AAH-AAH. FLY. SONG ENDS. FLY AWAY.
I'd rather take you alive than dead. HANRATTY Come on. The Agents watch him closely. lost in thought. Just go.) HANRATTY For the love of — Dollar. Like you did in that hotel room in L.) I think they should know who I am and what I did and why I did it. (He smiles at us. Frank. FRANK JUNIOR Can I at least make a statement first? HANRATTY At the airport? No. BRANTON Hanratty don’t let himHANRATTY I got this. . who close in) You're not going to fool me again. You're not putting on a show for these people.94 Scene 9: Miami International Airport (Lights on the same airport scene we saw at rise: Dollar has just fired his gun. Frank. what does "hold your fire" mean where you come from? DOLLAR (proud) I fired a warning shot.A. FRANK JUNIOR I'm sure these people want to know why you're shooting at me. Cod. FRANK JUNIOR That was close! You could hurt someone. Men! (Jerks his head to the Agents. get everyone out of here. He crosses downstage.) HANRATTY Branton. Agent Hanratty! COD (squints at ceiling) I think you shot down a plane. HANRATTY This is one of your tricks. (He looks to them. but this time there's no stinger from the orchestra—only silence. They kind of do.
THE GOOD GUY WON NOW . HANRATTY You left Brenda behind. HANRATTY That’s not true. HANRATTY Let’s go. FRANK JUNIOR NOW IT'S TIME TO SAY GOODNIGHT— HANRATTY There's nowhere you can run. FRANK JUNIOR TELL THE SPOTLIGHT MAN TURN OFF MY LIGHT. but it’s time for me to settle down to a quiet family life. Frank? What happens when it’s all over? FRANK JUNIOR You mean … (MUSIC. SONG: GOODBYE FRANK JUNIOR IT'S MY HAPPY ENDING. with my beloved Brenda.95 (The other agents hurry the passengers to the exits.) How does it all end. Any minute. (Hanratty murmurs into his walkie-talkie.) FRANK JUNIOR It’s sure been an exciting run. FRANK JUNIOR She'll be here. FRANK JUNIOR WE CAN STOP PRETENDING. You're wanted on every continent. Son.) When the show’s over? HANRATTY That’s right. HANRATTY This is not something that you can walk away from. YEAH.) FRANK JUNIOR 'CAUSE THE SHOW IS DONE NOW AND IT'S TIME TO LEAVE THE STAGE. (But Frank Junior pays no heed. coming downstage to speak to us: our host.
I tried. We followed her right to you. BRENDA Frank. NOW THE CURTAIN'S DESCENDING AND I HOPE YOU GOT YOUR MONEY'S WORTH .) BRENDA Frank! FRANK JUNIOR Brenda! Just in time. HANRATTY All right. I’m sorry. BRENDA Frank—I love you. Frank.96 AND THE BAND HAS NO MORE SONGS TO PLAY IT'S A HAPPY ENDING SO I'LL SAY GOODBYE GOODBYE TO ALL THE MAKE BELIEVE GOODBYE THERE'S NO MORE MAGIC UP MY SLEEVE THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO ACT UP HERE I'LL TAKE MY BOW AND DISAPPEAR NO QUESTIONS LEFT FOR ANSWERING THERE'S ONLY ONE WORD LEFT TO SING GOODBYE (Brenda appears. I loved you too. (He starts toward her but stops short when Branton and Dollar appear behind her. FRANK JUNIOR IT'S A HAPPY ENDING TO THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH. get her out of here.) FRANK JUNIOR (after she's gone) Yeah. (And they do. HANRATTY It’s time to give up.) FRANK JUNIOR Brenda? HANRATTY Brenda was your mistake. FRANK JUNIOR It’s okay. I understand.
FRANK JUNIOR GONNA STOP THE SHOW NOW 'CAUSE I WANNA LEAVE ON TOP SO GET UP AND GO NOW 'CAUSE THERE'S NOTHING LEFT INSIDE MY HEAD EVERYTHING THAT'S LEFT TO SAY'S BEEN SAID BUT GOODBYE GOODBYE TO ALL THE SONG AND DANCE GOODBYE OFFSTAGE I STAND A BETTER CHANCE THE SHOW IS THROUGH. but Hanratty is there. FRANK JUNIOR You’re lying to me. We're gonna move back to New Rochelle. That's not how this ends. we’re gonna open up the store— HANRATTY Your dad’s dead. FRANK JUNIOR My dad’s waiting for me up north. Frank. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you. HANRATTY I’m sorry. You don't get to say that.) HANRATTY Let’s go. FRANK JUNIOR No. Frank. THE PART'S BEEN PLAYED NO STANDING IN THE WINGS AFRAID NO VIOLINS OR PHONY TEARS THE WORD THAT'S MUSIC TO MY EARS IS GOODBYE GOODBYE GOODBYE GOODBYE I'M NOT AFRAID OF STOPPING THIS END COULD BE MY START I WANNA LIVE A LIFE AND NOT JUST PLAY A PART I'LL WALK INTO THE SUNSET I'LL SAIL ACROSS THE SEA .97 (He turns to exit another way. Grand Central Station-he fell down some steps and broke his neck. too. HANRATTY I don't lie. The police report said he had been drinking.
FRANK JUNIOR I could go. Back to real life. I just wanted to help him get back on his feet. FRANK JUNIOR What if I don't know how? HANRATTY You don’t have a choice. Because it won’t bring you dad back. BUT HERE'S THE LAST GOODBYE GOODBYE GOODBYE GOODBYE! SONG ENDS. It’s time to stop. FRANK JUNIOR How do you know? HANRATTY Because you’re tired of running. FRANK JUNIOR I know. HANRATTY I know. HANRATTY Yup. Long after the applause has ended. but you won’t. The show’s over. and crosses down to us. though everywhere he turns. it seems. .) GOODBYE TO EVERY NIGHT ALONE GOODBYE GOODBYE TO LIVES THAT I DON’T OWN (Frank Junior looks around at the bare stage. Hanratty. (Frank Junior is alone on stage. I could run. Frozen in a spot. No—he’s not alone. Hanratty is part of the scene.) FRANK JUNIOR I don’t understand. Time to face up to what you’ve done. right now.98 THE FINAL WORD THE LAST YOU'LL HEAR OF ME OF ME IS GOODBYE (He begins to strip the show away. Mister Hanratty.) FRANK JUNIOR I'M TIRED OF LIVING ON THE STAGE A LIFE THAT'S ONLY ON THE PAGE THE EMPTY LIVES ARE IN THE PAST I'VE TRIED BEFORE.
FRANK JUNIOR But why would you want to help me? HANRATTY (Pause. swiftly embraces Hanratty. You do your time. it’s only going to get worse . FRANK JUNIOR At the FBI? HANRATTY We need you’re know how. then let me out and pay me for what you locked me up for? HANRATTY That’s what I said.99 HANRATTY I know. Mister Hanratty. (Frank Jr. (MUSIC. You’ll get a life. Listen. FRANK JUNIOR The FBI? Really? You’re gonna lock me up.) (Cuffs Frank Jr.) Because I'm the only one who can. Frank. come with me. YOUR NOSE IS RUNNING ON MY ONLY SUIT.) HANRATTY Hey.. WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT I'D SHARE THIS DANCE WITH YOU LOOKS LIKE WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER WHICH IS STRANGE BUT TRUE. Merry Christmas. FRANK JUNIOR So how do we end this? HANRATTY Your way.. .) SONG: (STUCK TOGETHER) STRANGE BUT TRUE HANRATTY STOP YOUR SOBBIN' KID. (Pause. and now with these computers and credit cards coming in. FRANK JUNIOR Would I get a badge? HANRATTY Even better. son. You’ll come work for the Bureau.) FRANK JUNIOR Thanks. BEFORE I SHOOT. pay your debt to society and we’ll get you out early. We’re years behind in counterfeit and forgery.
I studied. . AND AFTER YOU'VE PAID FOR YOUR LIFE OF CRIME WELL. LOOKS LIKE WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER WHICH IS STRANGE BUT TRUE. HANRATTY HARD TO BELIEVE IT BUT WE'RE TYING THE KNOT TODAY FRANK JUNIOR THAT'S OKAY. and he even was the godfather to my kids. HANRATTY No! I hate you. MISTER TORTOISE—HERE'S YOUR RABBIT STEW. THANK YOUR PUBLIC WHILE YOU'RE STILL IN YOUR PRIME. HANRATTY FRANK. (Frank Junior turns to us. HANRATTY AND FRANK JUNIOR 'TIL THEN WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER WHICH IS STRANGE BUT TRUE. CHERYL ANN He never paid me back. Cheryl Ann. How'd you cheat on the bar exam? FRANK JUNIOR I didn't cheat.100 FRANK JUNIOR (wipes his eyes. Let it go. FRANK JUNIOR Carl and I became good friends. NOW THE CHASE IS DONE.) HANRATTY Keep your promise. HANRATTY Brenda married a real doctor and lived happily ever after. YOU MUST ADMIT I GAVE YOU QUITE THE RUN. THEY WON'T BE SEEING YOU FOR QUITE A LONG TIME. FRANK JUNIOR Agent Hanratty turned out to be as good as his word. HANRATTY Frank was sentenced to fifteen years in prison but was released after seven for good behavior. HANRATTY Not now. CAROL Woo! Woo! FRANK JUNIOR I set up my own security company and would pay back every bad check I passed. musters a smile) GUESS YOU CAUGHT ME. KID WE'LL SEE WHAT GOOD BEHAVIOR CAN DO. HANRATTY TELL MISTER RIPLEY AT "BELIEVE IT OR NOT" HANRATTY + FRANK JUNIOR THE SHOW IS OVER AND HE'S ALL THAT I GOT.
and Hanratty ad lib) FRANK JUNIOR IF YOU HAD READ THIS. MISTER LAWYER. AND TELL J. HANRATTY LET'S MAKE SOME BUTTER OUT OF CREAM! (Hanratty and Frank Jr. MONKEY DO. exit though the house. EDGAR HOOVER. HANRATTY IN FACT. I THINK I'M GONNA BREAK WITH TRADITION.) FRANK JUNIOR + HANRATTY+FULL COMPANY HEY. MISTER TWO-ON-THE-AISLE— YOU NEVER CAN PREDICT WHEN FORTUNE MAY SMILE. FRANK JUNIOR + HANRATTY BUT NOW A NEW DUET HAS MADE ITS DEBUT AND NOW WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER COMPANY OH YEAH! BOTH IN AND OUT OF LUCK TOGETHER! COMPANY OH YEAH! BOTH I'M GLAD WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER WHICH IS STRANGE BUT TRUE.) THE END. YOU'D HAVE SAID "NO WAY!" I ALMOST MAKE IT LOOK LIKE CRIME DOES PAY THERE'S LOTS OF FOLKS THAT I MISS EVERYDAY (He looks around at all the faces from his past—the full company. . FRANK JUNIOR YOUR JUNIOR PARTNER CAME THROUGH. HANRATTY A SIMPLE CASE OF MONKEY SEE. FRANK JUNIOR I'M GLAD TO BE ON YOUR TEAM.101 (MUSIC BUILDS as the full company enters. "BABY I'VE GONE FISHIN'!" (Frank Jr.
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