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ACT ONE Prologue A gate area of a large, ultra- modern airport—circa 1960s. Lights fade up. We hear the sounds of JETS taking off and landing. ANNOUNCEMENTS murmur throughout. Courtesy phones, pages for passengers, calls for specific airlines and flights, mentioning long-gone airlines like TWA, Braniff, and Pan Am. VOICE OVER ANNOUNCEMENT Welcome to Miami Dade International Airport. Braniff flight 663 service to New York’s Idlewild Airport is now boarding. PASSENGERS hurry back and forth, to and from their flights. FRANK ABAGNALE, JR. has been sitting on an airport chair reading the newspaper. FBI Agents enter, revolvers drawn: BRANTON and DOLLAR. They mistakenly pursue an airline passenger running for his flight. BRANTON There he is! Hold it right there! DOLLAR Stop or I'll shoot! AGENT CARL HANRATTY enters from Stage Right. As with the other agents, we don't see much beneath the fedora. HANRATTY Hold your fire! Where the heck is he? He’s not giving us the slip this time. Frank Junior, carrying a suitcase, rises from the chair and quickly runs up the aisle. Hanratty looks off stage, then notices Frank Junior exiting in the house. Frank Junior, still carrying his suitcase, quickly reverses course and jumps up onto the stage with AGENT COD on his tail. The Agents chase him. Wait a minute, Men. There he goes! That’s him! Goddangit that’s him!
BRANTON Don't move! DOLLAR I'll shoot! I will shoot! Frank Junior hesitates ... COD And he's a really bad shot. ... then takes off again. Hanratty gives chase. HANRATTY Dammit! COD (overlapping) There. There he is! BRANTON (overlapping) No you don’t! DOLLAR (overlapping) I'm gonna shoot! A deafening SHOT stops everyone in their tracks. The Passengers all stop and stare. FRANK, JR. drops the suitcase which falls open, exposing its contents. Large quantities of cash. HANRATTY For the love of—Dollar, what does "hold your fire" mean where you come from? DOLLAR
I fired a warning shot, Agent Hanratty! COD
(squints at ceiling)
I think you shot down a plane. FRANK JUNIOR That was close! You could hurt someone. HANRATTY Come on, Frank. I'd rather take you alive than dead. FRANK JUNIOR Can I at least make a statement first? HANRATTY At the airport? No. FRANK JUNIOR I'm sure these people want to know why you're shooting at me.
(Looks to them: they kind of do)
I think they should know who I am and what I did and why I did it.
HANRATTY This is one of your tricks. Men! (Jerks his head to the Agents, who close in) You're not going to fool me again, Frank, like you did in that hotel room in L.A. You're not putting on a show for these people. FRANK JUNIOR A show? (MUSIC: A figure from the orchestra—we'll call it our STINGER. Frank Junior looks at us and smiles.) A show. (Frank Junior snaps his fingers. MUSIC CONTINUES with a huge timpani roll. A sudden reveal shows a lavish backdrop and tuxedoed ORCHESTRA on a jazzy bandstand.) We need some lights. (He waves his arm. Lights change.) COD The hell is he doing? FRANK JUNIOR A studio audience. HANRATTY Misdirection. It's a con. That's the technique. FRANK JUNIOR Cameras. And the Frank Abagnale Junior Orchestra! (He waves to the Orchestra, the CONDUCTOR acknowledges, and launches into the song proper.) HANRATTY Frank, what the hell are you doing? Branton, Cod, get everyone out of here. (As the other agents hurry the passengers to the exits, Hanratty edges upstage to check out the orchestra, keeping his gun on Frank Junior ... ... who crosses downstage to us.) FRANK JUNIOR My name is Frank William Abagnale ... Junior. This is my story. HANRATTY These people have musical instruments.
but only I know just how I did it. Hanratty points the gun at Frank Junior.) HANRATTY All right. and Hanratty finds himself surrounded by dancing bodies . the highlights. Like on a television special or something. As he does. when that shot rang out. FRANK JUNIOR True story. you're coming in.4 FRANK JUNIOR I was a millionaire twice over and half again before I was twenty-one. (sings) I GOTTA STORY I'D LIKE TO TELL BUT I'M GONNA NEED HELP TO TELL IT WELL I GOTTA STORY ABOUT FAME AND MONEY AND IT'S GOT MORE CURVES THAN A PLAYBOY BUNNY I WANNA LIVE NOT JUST SURVIVE I WANNA TELL MY STORY LIVE AND IN LIVING COLOR! (The ENSEMBLE has entered.) ENSEMBLE (on Frank Junior's "color") LIVE IN LIVING COLOR . Mister Hanratty thinks he has all the facts. mom and dad and me. HANRATTY Virtue has never been one of your virtues. I saw it all! Well I mean.V. (He sings to us. and worked as a prosecutor for the State of Lousiana. Modesty has never been one of my virtues. Now. Hanratty comes downstage and notices us.) SONG: LIVE IN LIVING COLOR FRANK JUNIOR LIVE IN LIVING COLOR LET ME TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE YES. special? FRANK JUNIOR I know. FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty. And I did it in style.. and tries not to be too unsettled. I stole every nickel of it. that’s enough.V.. all under assumed names. I'M LIVE IN LIVING COLOR SO SIT BACK AND LET ME BE YOUR T. my whole life flashed before my eyes. HANRATTY You think your life is a T. Like we used to watch. practiced medicine at a top Atlanta hospital. GUIDE! (The groove kicks in. I flew almost five million miles as a Pan Am pilot. Frank.
When he got caught his only excuse was— FRANK JUNIOR I like girls.. and bring in the set.5 (. listen. you mean like the story of how Superman became Superman? HANRATTY (half beat) Your ability to pull myth from manure is truly impressive. The Ensemble dress Frank Junior for the show.V. Frank. Tell the folks. and he ducks.) HANRATTY Hold on. by the time this guy was twenty years old.) FRANK JUNIOR SOMETHING SPECIAL'S UP TONIGHT YES I'M FRANK JUNIOR + ENSEMBLE LIVE IN LIVING COLOR FRANK JUNIOR LIFE AIN'T LIVED IN BLACK AND WHITE! (speaks) Ladies and gentlemen.. Folks. Has been since the age of sixteen. and fights his way out to one side. FRANK JUNIOR Thank you! FRANK JR. flails. he had stolen almost one-point-eight million dollars. when he bilked twenty grand from his father's Mobil card to buy presents for girls. plain and simple. the Frank Abagnale Junior Singers and Dancers! (Hanratty fights his way through the Frank Abagnale Junior Singers and Dancers and speaks to us. + ENSEMBLE LIVE IN LIVING COLOR FRANK JUNIOR AND IT'S BROUGHT TO YOU BY ME YES IT'S LIVE IN LIVING COLOR ENSEMBLE LIVE IN LIVING COLOR FRANK JUNIOR THIS WON'T FIT IN YOUR T. Frank and Paula Abagnale! . as Frank Junior continues. HANRATTY He likes girls. how "I like girls" becomes "I'm wanted on five continents." FRANK JUNIOR Oh. He's a con man.! (speaks) Also starring my parents.
Cheryl Ann . (They dance. beautifully. and begin to dance together. sweet. FRANK SENIOR and PAULA enter in a sweep. come on. Listen. Frank Junior watches. and they dance off with the other couples. Frank! .) CHERYL ANN I'm surprised you even remembered my first name.N. And I turned to my buddies and I said— FRANK SENIOR + FRANK JUNIOR —I am not leaving France without that woman.) FRANK JUNIOR When I was a kid. you no good sonofabitch— FRANK JUNIOR Thank you. (Hanratty steps in. Cheryl Ann! And introducing the Strong family..6 (MUSIC CHANGES. The men are literally holding their breath.. featuring the beautiful. Stunning and romantic. Frank Senior sweeps Paula off her feet. My dad was a GI.. Something! (Lights on CHERYL ANN. don't try to sell me [some sentimental picture of domestic bliss]— (Frank Junior plows forth as MUSIC CHANGES. faithful and true Brenda Strong.! (Lights on BRENDA.. FRANK JUNIOR Also starring Playboy's Playmate of the Year. I could watch them dance all night. After the war. A little village called Montrichard. with ROGER and CAROL STRONG behind her) BRENDA Hi.) My parents met in France. FRANK SENIOR (To us) All the people in that little French village were so happy to see Americans that they decided to put on a show for us. who's pissed. So they crammed two hundred soldiers into a tiny social hall and the first person to walk on stage is your mother. My mother was young and beautiful. R. and she starts to dance . I interviewed both your parents.) HANRATTY [continuing as needed] Frank. PAULA I always get into trouble when I dance with you. They are mirrored by two other dancing couples.
How’d you pass the bar exam? In New Orleans? How’d you cheat the bar? FRANK JUNIOR All right Mr. I GOTTA STORY THAT'S STRANGE BUT TRUE ENSEMBLE SHOO-BEE DOO-WOP. Frank. to himself:) FRANK JUNIOR I loved you. wait a minute. too.) HANRATTY All right. don’tcha think? I’ll get to tell my story. And says.7 FRANK JUNIOR Hi. Frank Junior watches. Or whatever you're calling yourself today … wait … where am I going? (Hanratty disappears down the center elevator lift) FRANK JUNIOR WHAT'S IN A NAME? JUST WINDOW DRESSING SHOO-BEE DOO-WOP. FRANK JUNIOR You're gonna be great. I think you want the rest of the story. BRENDA Frank. and I’ll tell you anything. there’s something that still bugs me. FRANK JUNIOR I don’t believe you. You let me finish. We owe each other that much. Listen. (Brenda exits with her parents. Brenda. Hanratty I’ll make you a deal. Frank. I've heard all I can hear. BOP-BOP EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT IT'S THE CLOTHES THAT MAKE THE MAN CLOTHES THAT MAKE THE MAN PLAY THE GAME SHOO-BEE DOO-WOP. BOP-BOP . you’re one of the stars. And you’ll have a full confession. I've got this show to do and you're gonna be in it. BOP-BOP JUST KEEP 'EM GUESSING SHOO-BEE DOO-WOP. will you wait for me over there? I'll let you know when it's time. HANRATTY I know the whole story – All right. I wouldn’t do this for anyone but you. I don't want to hear any more. In fact. Now. deal. (Hanratty has had enough. BRENDA Frank. I love you. BOP-BOP MIX AND MATCH ME TRY TO CATCH ME IF YOU CAN OH. HANRATTY Okay.
New Rochelle. and the Ensemble comes forward—and set the stage for the Abagnale home. 1964. YES I'M LIVE IN LIVING COLOR BLINK YOUR EYES BLINK YOUR EYES AND I'LL BE GONE LIVE IN LIVING COLOR LIVE IN LIVING COLOR LIVE IN LIVING COLOR BLINK YOUR EYES BE GONE! SONG ENDS.) . (MUSIC begins again. YES I'M LIVE IN LIVING COLOR TUNE ME IN AND TURN ME ON. our story begins on Christmas Eve.) SONG: LIVE IN LIVING COLOR (TAG) ENSEMBLE LIVE IN LIVING COLOR TUNE ME IN AND TURN ME ON LIVE IN LIVING COLOR BLINK YOUR EYES AND I’LL BE GONE (As we complete the TRANSITION TO . YES I'M LIVE IN LIVING COLOR BLINK YOUR EYES AND I'LL BE GONE.. A beautiful house on the best street.) FRANK JUNIOR Ladies and gentlemen.8 I GOTTA STORY THAT'S STRANGE BUT TRUE SO COME FLY WITH ME FOR A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW SO COME FLY WITH ME FOR A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW I'VE GOT THE WORLD AT MY COMMAND I'VE GOT THE WORLD AT MY COMMAND AND I'LL BE YOUR ONE-MAN DISNEYLAND AND I'LL BE YOUR ONE-MAN DISNEYLAND I DON’T WANNA WAIT FOR THE COPS TO ARRIVE I WANNA TELL MY STORY LIVE AND IN LIVING COLOR LIVE IN LIVING COLOR TUNE ME IN AND TURN ME ON. The Abagnale home. The house everyone wanted. New York. The ensemble break their tableaux and dance in the background as Frank Junior speaks to us — our host. and the family everyone wanted to be. (Frank Junior goes..
9 Scene 1: Living Room. .one hundred percent acrylic. PAULA It truly is a beautiful tree. FRANK SENIOR It’s that Abagnale magic. FRANK SENIOR How about that thirteen-inch screen? FRANK JUNIOR It’s like Andy Williams is right here in our living room. I DO have dinner going(But she starts to dance with him.. PAULA Frank. PAULA But – so that I understand – you left this morning with a Cadillac and two hundred dollars and come home with a Christmas tree. is still with the television.) FRANK JUNIOR Wow Dad. a television set.) ENSEMBLE (ON TV) LIVE IN LIVING COLOR … LIVE IN LIVING COLOR … SONG ENDS. Frank Senior watches her. Frank Junior is watching a small color television set. and the SINGERS fade from house speakers to the television set—they're on the show Frank Junior is watching. PAULA I think I know the feeling. The Abagnale House. Frank Jr. and a used Ford? FRANK SENIOR Can I strike a bargain or what? I left those guys with their heads spinning. and the dancers move to the background and then disappear. C’mon – dance with me. New Rochelle (. Paula opens the Christmas Tree. you're right—everything is better in color. Frank. FRANK SENIOR It’s the genuine spirit of real Christmas. right there ..
Frankie. I didn’t get the loan. You remember this story. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned. use the loan to tide the business over until you can get the Caddy back. FRANK JUNIOR Oh. why did you — FRANK SENIOR One day you’re gonna want something from these people. They won't loan to anyone under I. And this means from this day on. use the mortgage to leverage the bank loan. There’s always another move to make. FRANK JUNIOR But Dad. FRANK JUNIOR Thanks. It’s all a dance – swap the Caddy for the Ford. They have all the money.) Fifty checks. FRANK JUNIOR But why didn't they give you the loan? FRANK SENIOR Ah. PAULA (pulls away) I really should see to dinner. (hands him a checkbook. didn’t those guys know you were getting away with something? FRANK SENIOR People only know what you tell them. The second mouse wouldn't quit. He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into butter … FRANK SENIOR AND FRANK JUNIOR … and he climbed out. FRANK SENIOR And who are we? . use the extra cash to pay the mortgage. investigation. it’s just a technicality. Don't tell your mother.) FRANK JUNIOR That’s great you got the loan.10 FRANK SENIOR Nothing’s too good for my boy or my bride. FRANK SENIOR Listen to me. Dad. you're in their little club. Two little mice fell into a bucket of cream.S. a car. FRANK JUNIOR You didn’t – but I thought you saidFRANK SENIOR I got something better. Dad. I put twenty-five dollars in it so you can buy whatever you want. But if they didn't give you the loan.R. The account's in your name. FRANK SENIOR Shh. (She goes. A house.
you know what ? We're going downtown to buy you your Christmas present. pausing as needed) Ladies and gentlemen. THOSE LADIES GAVE THANKS TO US VISITING YANKS CAUSE THE PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT THEY SEE (Frank Senior is joined by a bevy of BEAUTIFUL GIRLS in Yankee pinstripes. Frank Junior comes downstage: our host.. FRANK JUNIOR Dad.) The other teams just stand there..) FRANK JUNIOR (to us. (MUSIC. FRANK SENIOR Frankie. staring at the pinstripes. A brand new Botany 500 suit. that’s too expensive. Abagnale . FRANK SENIOR Damn straight we are. It's not Joe Pepitone. The man with all the moves. The Dodgers were so scared they had to leave town. the smartest man I know. Senior! FRANK SENIOR WHEN A PILOT WALKS ONTO THE PLANE ALL THE PASSENGERS SMILE AND RELAX DO THEY SEE HE’S STILL TIGHT FROM THAT PARTY LAST NIGHT AND THE BACK TO BACK “JACKS”? STEWED TO THE MAX FRANK SENIOR NO!.11 FRANK JUNIOR We're the second mouse. It's the uniform.. We're gonna be fine. You know why the Yankees win all the time? It's not the Mick.. my dad—Frank . As a matter of fact. WHAT SHE SAW … WAS THE UNIFORM! THROUGH THE DIRT AND DEBRIS YEAH. WHAT THEY SEE IS THE UNIFORM HOW IT FITS TO A TEE LIKE THAT VISITING TEAM THAT THE YANKEES WILL CREAM THE PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT THEY SEE BEAUTIFUL GIRLS OOOOOOOH SMILE AND RELAX SMILE AND RELAX . SONG: THE PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT THEY SEE FRANK SENIOR WHEN YOUR MOTHER WALKED INTO THAT DANCEHALL IN MONTRICHARD WHAT DID SHE SEE? THROUGH THE HAZE OF CHAMPAGNE DID SHE NOTICE MY BRAIN OR MY COLLEGE DEGREE? KID. mesmerized.
Paula comes to Frank Junior. MUSIC CONTINUES as we CONTINUE TO:) .) IF YOU WANNA BE A SOMEONE YOU CAN’T LOOK LIKE A BUM A BOOK’S JUDGED BY IT’S COVER THAT’S THE FIRST RULE OF THUMB I WANNA SEE YA TAKE OFF STRAIGHT TO THE TOP FLOOR START DRESSIN’ TO IMPRESS ‘EM SON YOU'LL STROLL IN THE FRONT DOOR A KID IN A MAN’S CANDY STORE … (As Frank Junior speaks to us. not quite separately. Jack Barnes and Paula enter. Jack goes to Frank Senior and shakes his hand.12 (The Beautiful Girls surround Frank Junior. and he emerges dressed smartly in his prep-school blazer.
you don't have to wear your school blazer. You're going to public school now. you do look handsome. Vite. FRANK JUNIOR I'm used to it. kisses him on the cheek. what's the Flash without his suit? Anyway.. the Jock accidentally-on-purpose bumping Frank Junior and sending him stumbling.. (STINGER. Jack Barnes. He is met by a JOCK and a NERD) FRANK JUNIOR 'Scuse me.I. FRANK JUNIOR I’ll be fine. He looks like a .) . called him— FRANK JUNIOR AND JACK BARNES —the most popular businessman in New Rochelle! PAULA Frankie.? (The two students LAUGH and move past him. and goes. Vite. PAULA My brave little soldier. Frank Senior and Paula are with a dour female PRINCIPAL. like a substitute teacher or somethin'. (Lights change. Mom. is this room 17 French? NERD (checking his outfit) Who wants to know? The F. I mean. PAULA Well. Dad'll get back on his feet and I'll be back at St. Comme tu es beau! (She sighs. You aren't afraid of anything. You do what you have to do. Vite. public school is only for now.B. And. Frank Junior looks at us and smiles.13 Scene 2: New Rochelle High School FRANK JUNIOR Everybody loved my dad. the head of the Chamber of Commerce. Francis before you know it.) JOCK Yeah.) FRANK JUNIOR Shouldn’t you boys be in class? Depechez-vous. Frank Junior heads to school.
FRANK SENIOR You must have dropped it. Lecturing the students. Frank Senior takes her place. Looks at his son. Paula goes to Frank Junior. Is it yours? (He pulls a locket necklace from his pocket. Frank has been teaching Mrs.) PAULA You have to forgive him. WE’RE GONNA HIT THE HIGH-LIFE WE’VE ONLY JUST BEGUN WE’RE GONNA BE TOGETHER FRANK SENIOR AND SON DINE AT “THE LATIN QUARTER” A NIGHTCAP AT “TOOTS SHOR” YEAH. I found this necklace on the floor.14 PRINCIPAL OWINGS Mr. PAULA He what? PRINCIPAL Your son has been pretending to be a substitute teacher. please. putting on his hat. outside the Principal's office. I regret to inform you that for the past week. giving out homework. Your son held three teacher-parent conferences yesterday. We lost our house— FRANK SENIOR (smoothly cuts her off) Principal Owings. Glaser's French class. (But she takes it. And Frank Junior LAUGHS. and Mrs. Abagnale. PRINCIPAL Well. Frank Senior LAUGHS. who slowly meets his gaze.) PAULA Frank. on my way in from the outer office. and was planning a class field trip to a French Fry Factory in Trenton. (Frank Junior waits. There's been so much change.) PAULA Frankie … Je ne peux pas. who exits opposite. As Frank Senior shakes hands with the Principal. Mister Abagnale.) FRANK SENIOR AND FRANK JUNIOR YEAH.) FRANK SENIOR French fry factory?! (Finally. WE’RE GONNA BE AT RINGSIDE LIFE WILL BE BETTER THAN BEFORE FOR TWO KIDS IN A MAN’S CANDY STORE . (She shakes her head again and goes. Looks like it was made for you. nervously.
(Frank Senior claps his son on the shoulder and goes. Frank Junior moves to follow, but sees BETTY.) FRANK JUNIOR Hi. BETTY Hi. Is the Principal in her office? I need to give her this note from my mother, excusing me from sixth period. FRANK JUNIOR You should fold it. It's more believable that way. BETTY No, this really is a note from my mother. FRANK JUNIOR What's the first thing you do when your mother hands you a note? You fold it up and put it in your pocket. (A half-beat, and Betty folds the note.) BETTY Thanks. I'm Betty. FRANK JUNIOR Frank. BETTY Nice jacket. (She plants an impulsive kiss on his cheek, and goes. He swoons and sings.) WHAT THEY SEE IS THE UNIFORM JUST ASK ONE MAITRE D’ OR A TAILOR IN PARIS GO ASK ROGER MARIS! THE PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT THEY SEE (Frank Junior dances his way home as we TRANSITION TO ...)
Scene 3: The Abagnale Apartment, Downtown New Rochelle (... and as Frank Junior dances right on in the door, his mother and father dance on opposite. But with a turn, in an instant, we see that it's not his father. It's JACK BARNES. And Frank Junior sees this, and they see him. MUSIC STOPS suddenly.) SONG ENDS. FRANK JUNIOR Mom, Dad I met this girl – PAULA Frankie! You remember your father's friend, Jack Barnes? FRANK JUNIOR Hello. JACK BARNES Frank. Good to see you. Paula … I … Take care. (He grabs his hat and goes. Frank Junior is silent.) PAULA Are you hungry, Frankie? I'll make you a sandwich. (Frank Junior doesn't move.) Frankie? (No answer.) You're not going to tell him. FRANK JUNIOR No. PAULA That's right. There's nothing to tell. I'm going out for a few hours to visit some old friends from the tennis club, and when I get back, we'll all have dinner together, right? (Frank Junior rubs his eyes. Paula gets her pocketbook.) Do you need some money, Frankie? A few dollars to buy some comic books? Here, take two. (She stuffs two dollar bills in his pants pocket. He doesn’t acknowledge her. Then …) FRANK JUNIOR Two hundred soldiers in that tiny social hall, and you ... you ... PAULA I was sixteen years old when I met your father. I was your age. How could I know what I wanted? Dites donc?
FRANK JUNIOR You wanted him. PAULA I did, once. And I wanted to get out of France. And I wanted to have a child. (She reaches for him, but he pulls away.) (considers him, then) It was a long time ago, Frankie. Believe me, one day you'll look at yourself, and you won't be who you were. (He turns away from her and walks into his bedroom: piles of comic books, a "Flash" bedspread. He takes his jacket off and tosses it.) SONG: SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN FRANK JUNIOR THERE’S NO PHONE BOOTH THERE’S NO CAPE THERE’S NO STEVE MCQUEEN TO HELP ME MAKE MY GREAT ESCAPE HOW CAN I FLY LIKE A HERO IN THE SKY BE A SHOOTING STAR OUT IN THE STRATOSPHERE WHERE’S “THE SHADOW”? HE MIGHT KNOW WHERE’S THAT SEARCHLIGHT IN THE SKY TO POINT THE WAY TO GO? THROUGH SOME NEW CLOUD TO DISAPPEAR INTO THE CROWD THOUGH THE FUTURE’S DARK THERE’S ONE THING CRYSTAL CLEAR THAT THERE’S NO HOME HERE … (MUSIC CONTINUES as we TRANSITION TO:)
) FRANK JUNIOR (to us) One day the principal pulls me out of class and drives me to the Courthouse. FRANK JUNIOR I’D LIKE TO BUY A ONE-WAY TICKET OUT FRANK SENIOR I’m sorry. people fighting over their children. DON’T JUMP THE TRACK TRY A NEW GAME AND PRAY THAT I CAN WIN . but it's better if the family does.) JUDGE Son.) FRANK JUNIOR SO MANY VOICES TELLING ME TO CHOOSE JUDGE The court can decide these things. with their lawyers.. Frankie. and the judge. New Rochelle (The Family Court Judge appears with Frank Senior and Paula .18 Scene 4: Family Court and Train Station. PAULA Nobody's fighting. overlapping. Doesn't tell me why. I walk in and I see my parents up front. Your mother or your father. and as the bedroom goes away. (The adults continue. as Frank Junior sings to us. Frank Junior comes downstage for that "break-in-a-ballad" confessional moment. Frankie. Nobody's fighting... I’ve got no room to move here. just give them a name. (. We just need a name. listen to me. It's going to be okay. and this will all be over. FRANK JUNIOR THIS KINDA NOISE JUST MAKES ME WANNA SHOUT PAULA My brave little soldier. JUDGE It can get very expensive. Look at me. Do what you have to do.. FRANK JUNIOR IT’S LIKE A GAME WHERE EITHER TEAM I LOSE FRANK SENIOR Frankie. FRANK JUNIOR RULES OF THE ROAD SAY DON’T LOOK BACK EYES STRAIGHT AHEAD.
) COMMUTERS HOO-HOO.) FRANK JUNIOR Okay. so now I have four dollars which is enough for my one way ticket to Manhattan. and he gives me two dollars. using a nifty bit of sleight-of-hand. please. You have two. Misdirection. And I take my money back from the ticket seller and I make it disappear — (He does. what? FRANK JUNIOR — but I keep talking. The Family Court disappears. HOO HOO (The RAILROAD AGENT appars and Frank Junior approaches. so I didn't really know what I was doing. and in his confusion he thinks he owes me change. and I'm not proud of this but my instincts took over.19 'CAUSE I JUST DON'T FEEL AT HOME IN MINE SO I'LL SLIP NOW INTO SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN (And as the music hits a driving groove. He holds out a couple of crumpled bills) FRANK JUNIOR One for Grand Central Station. or in this case my money back. isolating Frank Junior. Frank Junior turns and runs. One way is three. Lights change. MUSIC CHANGES. COMMUTERS hurrying to and fro. who turns to go. Maintain eye contact. even though he doesn't owe me any change — RAILROAD AGENT Wait.) — and I spin some tale about meeting my grandmother at Idlewild while I ask for my change. MUSIC CHANGES. Frank is on the street. because I don't plan on coming back— (The Railroad Agent takes the money from Frank Junior. as the Railroad Agent continues as if Frank Junior is still just in the scene with him. and speaks rapidly. and waiting for my change. Keep talking. without pause. but:) RAILROAD AGENT Hold it! FRANK JUNIOR What? . He looks at us. (The Railroad Agent holds up the bills. I just knew I had to get out. RAILROAD AGENT Round trip is five dollars.
FRANK JUNIOR Thanks. and this is the way I found. but you do what you have to do. the ten-fifteen to New York City! FRANK JUNIOR RUN DOWN THE STREET RUN OUT OF TOWN I'M GONNA RUN FROM THE HOME TEAM AND NEVER TOUCH DOWN RUN FROM THE BOOKS 'CAUSE IT'S ALL BEEN A FAKE I'M GONNA RUN FROM THE CHOICES THAT I DON'T WANNA MAKE SCHOOL'S NOT OUT BUT I CAN'T WAIT IT'S THE PERFECT TIME TO GRADUATE TODAY I'VE GOTTA RUN AWAY NOW I'VE GOT TO RUN AWAY I KNOW THEY'LL SEE THE TRUTH WHEN I MOVE ON THEY'LL NEED EACH OTHER MUCH MORE ONCE I'M GONE AND WHEN I'M FLUSH AND HE'S BACK ON HIS FEET I'LL PICK HIM UP AND RIDE DOWN EASY STREET NO TIME TO CRY FOR ALL THE YEARS A RUSTY GAS TANK FULL OF TEARS GETS YOU NOWHERE NOT THE PLACES I WANT IN AND I JUST DON'T FEEL AT HOME IN MINE SO I'LL SLIP NOW INTO SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN. Track Two. SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN.. SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN. SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN. Like I said. I'm not proud of it. (MUSIC STARTS TO BUILD as he continues. (MUSIC CONTINUES as we TRANSITION TO:) OO-OO-OO FULL OF TEARS COMMUTERS RUN DOWN THE STREET RUN OUT OF TOWN RUN FROM THE BOOKS 'CAUSE IT'S ALL BEEN A FAKE AH AH AH AH TODAY HOO-HOO HOO-HOO AH-AH AH-AH AH-AH AH-AH SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN. SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN. SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN. The New Haven line.20 RAILROAD AGENT Your ticket.) They wanted me to choose . .. I had to find a way out. and I chose.
) FRANK JUNIOR And now. (Three ATTRACTIVE ASSISTANTS bring in the products as Frank describes them. Because a sixteen-year-old cashing a check or opening an account by himself— SWISS ARMY KNIFE ASSISTANT (with Swiss Army knife) —gets a lot of questions! FRANK JUNIOR Higgins brand Genuine Original India Ink flows easily through your pen or brush—a few dabs on your license.21 Scene 5: Chase Bank. A DAB. A TOUCH OF GLUE THREE ASSISTANTS AND YOU’LL BE GOOD TO GO FRANK JUNIOR BIG THANKS TO ALL OUR SPONSORS! INDIA INK ELMER’S GLUE . and three ATTRACTIVE ASSISTANTS come dancing in. INDIA INK ASSISTANT (with bottle of ink) And no one can tell the difference! FRANK JUNIOR Elmer's Glue is perfect for the craftsperson of any age who needs to change their name. a word from our sponsors! (He gestures. ATTRACTIVE ASSISTANT #1 Or William Taylor. And if Frank Taylor wears out his welcome— ELMER’S GLUE ASSISTANT (with Elmer's Glue) You can be Frank Adams! ATTRACTIVE ASSISTANT #2 Or Frank Conners. With a pair of scissors you can cut and paste names from other documents. SWISS ARMY KNIFE A SNIP. Manhattan (On applause from SOMEONE ELSE’S SKIN. A FOURTH ATTRACTIVE ASSISTANT holds Frank’s briefcase for him) Swiss Army Penknives can help you alter the age on your driver's license.) These great products can help you survive your first few weeks in New York with just fifty checks and a driver's license. you're ten years older. and you're officially Frank Taylor Junior. ladies and gentlemen. Frank Junior comes downstage to speak to us.
Diane. we have new restrictions on cashing checks.) DIANE. bulletin.) . the Bank Teller at a counter. BANK TELLER I'm sorry. thanks for stopping by. in his charming fashion. we’re going to be seeing him of him in just a bit but right now there’s a much more exciting turn of events. slides the check off the counter. and dry cleaners from here to Hoboken.I. Hanratty enters from Stage Right) HANRATTY I know. I found this on the sidewalk out front. But Hanratty stays and keeps speaking to us. He didn’t know that his clock was ticking. BANK TELLER I'm sorry. (He escorts Hanratty toward the wings.) HANRATTY He didn’t know his bad checks were on my desk. backs away. and I think it might be yours— HANRATTY It's not.) What he’s leaving out folks. FRANK JUNIOR Say. Mister Taylor. I know. He opened accounts all over the tri-state area.B. and dropped rubber in just about every hotel. RIGHT BACK TO THE SHOW! (As the Assistants dance off Stage Left. grocery store. FRANK JUNIOR Ladies and Gentlemen! It’s our very special guest star. Mister Hanratty. HANRATTY (shows us) Seems someone put out an F. Very good. HANRATTY (Hanratty comes downstage to us. Mister Taylor. He was the Johnny Appleseed of fraud. Very entertaining. We can’t cash this. is the fact that in just a few short months this guy had soaked just about every branch of Chase Manhattan in the five boroughs and in northern New Jersey. (Frank Junior is before DIANE. FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty. BANK TELLER If you'd like to leave us your home phone number. then leaves him to join a BANK TELLER. He didn’t know his mother had filed a missing-persons report. we can hold on to this— (Frank Junior drops the necklace in his valise.22 THREE ASSISTANTS NOW.
With my stockbroker.) HANRATTY He’s going to try six more banks—same story. Frank Junior sings. (comes down to talk to us) Trying to put it all together. Right now.23 FRANK JUNIOR You know. He and I don’t even meet face to face for months yet. FRANK JUNIOR Then why didn’t he catch me? HANRATTY Only a matter of time. (Hanratty freezes.) FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty’s jumping ahead. (He backs away. onto Hanratty and into the open elevator traps. when my first fifty checks ran out. I bought a little printing press and I made my own. thank you. Mister Hanratty and his team were trying to find my trail. (MUSIC.) LIVE IN LIVING COLOR (Reprise) FRANK JUNIOR AND THOUGH I’M LIVE IN LIVING COLOR AT THE FBI THE SHOW’S IN BLACK AND WHITE. he’s still stuck at his desk. See. but Hanratty stops him. While I was producing more rubber than a tire factory. We were on him. but I'm late. . and a load of black and white checks rain down from the flies. (He drops a colorful check. For an appointment.
I. HANRATTY Listen — We do the job because it's the job and as long as I'm Interim Second Assistant Special Agent in Charge of the Bank Fraud and Forgery Subdivision.24 Scene 6: F. unannounced. I requested something where I could use my gun. Hanratty. (The men laugh. Now listen. COD. and it’s an experience I see no reason to repeat. Some of us still have wives. I know that this job is not as exciting as fieldwork. And cars. Don’t you remember how they razzed you? HANRATTY Yes. And. or counter-intelligence— . Anything loud or fast. we have three or four major-league paperhangers somewhere in this mess. and you stack them ten high. BRANTON That’s easy for you to say. Dollar. North Atlantic region — thank you very much — we will do the job until it’s done. COD C’mon Hanratty it’s 4:45. Thanksgiving or no Thanksgiving. Hanratty. and DOLLAR are drowning in checks and we hear:) COD Dollar! What have you done! BRANTON Yeah.B. by the way. Agent Branton. BRANTON Come on. Come on. and see how that works out for you. so we are going to sort it out. We always give the rookies a hard time. It’s Thanksgiving. HANRATTY (shudders) How about Shelley Winters? She’s loud and fast. go home for lunch one of these days. the next time we tell you to move file boxes. Agents BRANTON. basically. Dollar. even if it means we drop dead at our desks and our fossilized bones are discovered in some archeological dig in the twenty-first century. could you make sure you’re under them when they fall? DOLLAR Whoops! HANRATTY Leave the kid alone. BRANTON Shouldn’t you be in another department? Like maybe daycare? DOLLAR I was auditing background checks for the Library of Congress and I asked for a transfer. Office The elevators begin to lift the FBI office into view. HANRATTY Low blow. I like guns.) DOLLAR He got you there.
) And no Hanukah either. a check that was cashed in New York gets rerouted all the way to San Francisco and it’s weeks before the bank that cashed it knows they’re bad. HANRATTY Look at these two. COD + DOLLAR Nooooo! HANRATTY And that means no Christmas for you MICR mouse. slow death. Frank Junior returns and the men sweep the checks onto the lifts as we TRANSITION TO:) . If you change a zero-two to a one-two. And that means there must be thousands more checks just like this out there – more bum checks than a Prague prison! (A second load of checks drops. and you will. Jiminy Christmas. He knows. very interesting. (MUSIC.) BRANTON. Magnetic Ink Character Recognition. They mean that he can stay in one place and write bad checks for weeks and weeks. But he does. DOLLAR You mean those numbers at the bottom the check actually mean something? HANRATTY They mean that Frank Taylor and Frank Williams and William Franklin are the same person. the day you slap those cuffs on him and watch them haul him away (music under) —oh. This is very. and that’s the sad thing. Look here. HANRATTY —and maybe nobody knows you're down here. now this is interesting (more music under). And the day you catch him. BRANTON I know you think so.25 COD Or a long. (looks at the other check) And Frank Williams too. (He points at Cod. he does. Oh yeah. Frank Taylor must've got his hands on a MICR encoder. The one you're after. He’s changing the MICR numbers on the checks. DOLLAR Micker? Micker Mouse? COD Who the hell is Micker Mouse? HANRATTY MICR! MICR! M-I-C-R.
26 Scene 7: Outside the Tudor Hotel. (She continues past him. satchels in hand.) STEWARDESS #2 (MINDY) Excuse me. travel bags in hand. march in through the door.. nothing more. A SECOND STEWARDESS comes through the door. (MUSIC. that should keep Mister Hanratty busy for a while. there . as Frank watches. at passing bad checks.. I was a crook.) STEWARDESS #3 (LINDY) Oh! Excuse me.. . and the shelf life was getting shorter. isn't it? STEWARDESS #2 (MINDY) We all have evening flights. My clock was ticking. FRANK JUNIOR "We all. (to us) Are you seeing this? (STEWARDESS #3 bumps him on her way by . Manhattan.. FRANK JUNIOR Kinda late to be checking out.. I'd always wanted to be good at something. and in the Skies (As soon as the deck is clear. He bobs and weaves as they move through. I went walking past the Tudor Hotel on 42nd Street. agape. I—excuse me—whoops!—hello.. Now I was really good . (He takes her measure.) FRANK JUNIOR Oh. He almost collides with a beautiful young Pan Am STEWARDESS emerging.?" (A parade of STEWARDESSES. And Frank Junior ) FRANK JUNIOR Well. the elevators begin to sink out of sight. But then one day. all in the same Pan Am outfit. But unfortunately he was right. .) FRANK JUNIOR Oh!! Excuse me.. and destiny came walking out those revolving doors.) STEWARDESS #1 (CINDY) That’s quite all right.
our host:) Ladies and gentlemen. Mindy. Karrie. Nellie. Kelly. (Frank Junior steps downstage: our host... miss . Who are you all waiting for? THE STEWARDESSES The pilots. Tell him Cindy sent you. Here. I like to call them .. Talk to Jerry Taylor." SONG: THE JET SET CINDY WOKE UP IN BROOKLYN WITH A FROWN UPON MY FACE (One by one. then the third time's the charm:) Here it is.) FRANK JUNIOR (to us. She pulls another. excuse me. Sherrie. He smiles at us. Cindy. FRANK JUNIOR Thank you. and Jane.) Excuse me. (She pulls a business card from her bust. telling Frank Junior how it is. "The Jet Set. VP of personnel..27 FRANK JUNIOR No . It's the wrong one. then at her. Is Pan Am hiring? STEWARDESS #1 (CINDY) Aren't you sweet... the other Stewardesses join her. I've been training as a pilot. Tell me—is flying everything it's cracked up to be? STEWARDESS #1 (CINDY) The only thing better than flying—is what happens on the ground. Shellie. (Frank Junior blinks. Um. Terri. Lindy. STINGER. Miss Cindy.) MINDY JUST LEFT WISCONSIN WHERE THERE'S CHEESE ENOUGH TO START THIS RAT RACE CINDY BUT THANKS TO THE BROTHERS WRIGHT CINDY + MINDY WE DON'T KNOW WHERE WE'LL SLEEP TONIGHT .
I want to know everything there is to know about being a Pan Am pilot. . For instance. sure. what does it mean when one pilot says to another pilot. A PAN AM EXECUTIVE enters. like this one here from Pan Am. sir! Can I get a picture? PAN EXEC Oh. TIME TO PLAY I'LL PUT DOWN ROOTS SOME OTHER DAY SHELLIE NO NEED TO BE A LONELY JOE STEWARDESSES THE JET-SET IS THE SHELLIE ONLY WAY TO GO (One Stewardess pulls a pair of horn-rimmed glasses from her satchel and puts them on Frank Junior.D. It's an airline personnel badge. mostly commuters.28 CINDY YEAH. badges that I've seen pilots wear? PAN AM EXEC Every pilot has to have it with him at all times. Frank Black from Monroe High School. "I've been on the same equipment all week. FRANK JUNIOR Thank you for your time. now a high school kid) Yes sir. short flights. Another Stewardess opens her satchel. I'M A BIRD IN THE SKIES MINDY AND TOMORROW WHEN I RISE LINDY I'LL WAKE UP IN PARIS WITH A NEW LOVE IN MY HEART JANE OR MAYBE GERMANY WITH THAT BRAND NEW PET I MET IN STUTTGART KELLIE SKIES THE LIMIT. FRANK JUNIOR And what about those I. jumpin' puddles for the weak and weary?" PAN AM EXECUTIVE Means they've been flying the same plane. and he takes out a camera and a notebook.) PAN AM EXECUTIVE So you're the kid writing the article for the school paper? FRANK JUNIOR (turns to him.
TAILOR Awfully young to be a pilot. FLASH.) STEWARDESSES WOULD’JA LIKE NEW MUSIC AND MYSTERY EACH AND EVERYDAY LOSE THE SAME OLD MUSIC AND HIST’RY MAKE A NEW FRIEND THEN FLY AWAY (One Stewardess brings Frank Junior an in-flight cart with familiar sponsor products: Penknife.) STEWARDESSES (CONT'D) AND … WAKE UP IN TEXAS WHERE THEY TREAT THEIR WOMEN RIGHT AND THEN TRY HOLLYWOOD WHERE THE STARS GET LIT OUT IN BROAD DAYLIGHT ANY CITY. India ink.29 (Frank Junior points the camera right at his ID badge. NEAR OR FAR FEELS TWICE AS GOOD AS WHERE YOU ARE WHEN YOU’RE SICK OF THE STATUS QUO THE JET-SET IS THE ONLY WAY TO GO … (Frank Junior holds up his completed badge. and goes to work making a Pan Am Badge.) FRANK JUNIOR Got it! (The Executive goes and the Stewardesses are back. aren't ya? FRANK JUNIOR I get that a lot. TAILOR Why so nervous? FRANK JUNIOR How would you feel if you lost your uniform your first week on the job? . Frank holds up a blank piece of paper.) FRANK JUNIOR My Pan Am pilot's badge! How cool is that? A TAILOR enters. glue. I'm just a co-pilot. scissors. measuring tape and note pad in hand.
(He pulls out a form and begins to fill it out. A stunning sight.) . to count spaces for numbers:) FRANK JUNIOR Sure. FRANK JUNIOR That’s why Pan Am will always be around... his uniform at last perfect. Frank tries to read it upside down. JUST STAY HOME BUT. no cash. Four . ONE-WAY TRIP TO SPLITZVILLE ALL PILOTS SWEDISH.30 TAILOR Ah. (Frank Junior and the Tailor go as the PILOTS enter with Stewardesses. GREEK OR JAPANESE ALL STEWARDESSES A STEWARDESS IS TRAINED TO PLEASE ALL SO IF YOU’VE GOT WHAT IT TAKES BELOW WELL THEN FLY THIS BIRD LIKE CUPID’S BOW CAUSE THE JET SET'S JUST A HOLIDAY YEAH THE JET SET GOES UP. they'll take it out of your next paycheck. That'll be one forty-three ninety-seven..) ALL PILOTS WOULD’JA LIKE A SLEIGH RIDE. It's. FRANK JUNIOR Can I write you a check? TAILOR No—no checks.. Six. UP AND AWAY . A HAYRIDE? THEN KIDDO. SO FLY! (Frank Junior joins them. and Frank Junior pulls it back. I hear you. cap and aviators on.) TAILOR Great! I'll bill Pan Am. Just need your employee number. IF YOU WANT JET-SET THEN GET SET TO LEAVE BEHIND KANSAS THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE ROME ALL STEWARDESSES WAKE UP IN RIO HAVE YOUR COFFEE IN BRAZIL EVERYONE WHEN REAL LIFE GETS YOU DOWN TAKE A FAR-OUT.(?) Four (?) Five. the Tailor nods. One.(?) S— (But before he gets the next number out. finished. Three.
Frank comes down center to take the elevator down. The doors open and off steps Cheryl Ann – getting off the elevator of the St. (MUSIC begins again. Regis Hotel.31 FRANK JUNIOR RIGHT DOWN TO IT'LY FOR LA BELLA FEMINA JUMP IN A FOUNTAIN STEWARDESSES WOO! ALL FOR A BIG DOSE OF LA DOLCE VITA FRANK JUNIOR IF YOUR TASTES RUN MORE RISQUÉ TWO STEWARDESSES WELL THEN. WE KNOW A JOINT IN OLD BOMBAY ALL SO HANG ON TIGHT LET’S LOOP DE LOOP IT’S TIME TO FLY THIS CHICKEN COOP SO PACK UP YOUR SUITCASE CHECK YOUR WORRIES AT THE GATE COME OUT AND PLAY BOY CRUISE THE WORLD TO FIND YOUR PERFECT PLAYMATE FRANK JUNIOR THINGS LOOK BETTER FROM ABOVE SO BUCKLE UP. NEXT STOP IS LOVE ALL FROM TIMBUKTU TO TOKYO FROM MOZAMBIQUE TO MEXICO THE JET SET IS THE ONLY WAY TO GO FRANK JUNIOR BABBADA BOP BOOP BAH BADOOBA DOO-OH! SONG ENDS. . As the others exit.
Are you going to make me an offer? FRANK JUNIOR I'm sorry — an offer for what? CHERYL ANN A man like you can buy anything he wants.) Five hundred? (She gets on the elevator) A thousand dollars? (She stops the elevator doors from closing) CHERYL ANN One thousand dollars. Captain. CHERYL ANN Frank. Manhattan CHERYL ANN Nice uniform.. a few years ago. she starts removing her outer garments. .) CHERYL ANN So. FRANK JUNIOR Call me Frank.. Regis Hotel. What's a night worth? With me? FRANK JUNIOR I — gosh. I really don't know. Three hundred? (She closes her coat and heads back to the elevator.32 Scene 8: The St. Cheryl. I was on the cover of Seventeen . FRANK JUNIOR Sure — you're that model! Cheryl Ann—something—in the Plaza. in your room? FRANK JUNIOR I think I do. (As they head up the stairs. Could I get your autograph? CHERYL ANN Do you have a pen . Um... FRANK JUNIOR Don’t I know you from somewhere? CHERYL ANN Maybe.
. CHERYL ANN You think this hotel is going to cash a thousand dollar check at three a. FRANK JUNIOR Even better.m.33 FRANK JUNIOR I have to cash a check.. FRANK JUNIOR It's for fourteen hundred. It's a cashier's check. CHERYL ANN (inspecting it) Endorse it over to me.? FRANK JUNIOR (pulls one out) They've done it for me before.. She hands him the check and the cash as they disappear together down the elevator lift) . CHERYL ANN You give me the check . and I'll give you four hundred dollars. (MUSIC.. (pulling cash from her bust) .
COD He’s gone global. He’s out there somewhere. Believe it. if shooting people is anything like target practice. HANRATTY Judas Priest. A paperhanger. He's a true talent. He will. Sixtyish. He is taunting me. He's making the rules. BRANTON But we can't fix a location on him. One day he's in Dallas. (Bullets WHIZ and DING and they duck for cover.) BRANTON What the hell! DOLLAR (entering) You know. Frank Williams a. And if our UnSub thinks he can hide there he’s sorely mistaken. The last bad checks came from Liechtenstein. It's the overconfidence. why the hell'd you drag us out to Quantico? This guy’s a pen and ink man. it's very disappointing. This job is about just one guy. Where the hell is Liechtenstein? HANRATTY The principality of Liechtenstein is a landlocked alpine country in Western Europe bordered by Switzerland to the west and south and Austria to the east. I didn't feel a thing. Or the women. boys. He's Old School. HANRATTY We’re getting closer to this guy and you need to bone up on some of the skills you’ve let slide sitting in that basement sipping peppermint schnapps out of your coffee cup. It’s not about punching the clock waiting for retirement. he is toying with me. William Franklin. Hanratty takes aim and fires. Hanratty and the men enter. There’s no way the Bureau’s gonna give us travel money for Liechtenwhatsit. HANRATTY This guy's just a forger like Mickey Mantle is just a hitter. BRANTON It’s just forgery. Dollar! This job is not about shooting at people. tall. The next he's in Stuttgart.k. Hanratty. Hanratty.k. HANRATTY He will. He's been honing his craft for years. Hanratty. COD Jesus. Or the wine. He probably doesn’t even carry a gun. No. No. He's not playing the game. a virtuoso. You want to arrest him or hire him? HANRATTY I see him in my sleep. . COD C’mon. He doesn’t even know you exist. Barcelona. But they always make a mistake. VA (As Frank Junior leaves with Cheryl Ann. salt-and-pepper. Frank Taylor a.a. Rome. or sneaking off for quickies with the secretaries on three. Quantico. FBI Training Ground.a. ) BRANTON Hanratty. Years I tell you.34 Scene 9: A Firing Range.
) FRANK JUNIOR Ladies and gentlemen . (MUSIC. BRANTON Hanratty. (Frank Junior appears .. I have never been cool and I don’t intend to start now.) SONG: BREAKING ALL THE RULES HANRATTY IT STARTS VERY EARLY ONCE THE BABY TOYS ARE GONE A KID ON THE PLAYGROUND HAS TO CHOOSE WHAT SIDE HE'S ON IT'S THE BULLIES OR THE GOOD GUYS BOY.) I think I was born this way.. okay. I only wanted to play cops.. Other kids wanted to play cops and robbers... I NEVER SNUCK A DRINK I NEVER STOLE A PACK OF "KOOLS" 'CAUSE THE GAME AIN'T WORTH WINNING IF YOU'RE BREAKING ALL THE RULES . THERE IS NO MIDDLE GROUND THOUGH HOODLUMS TRY TO BLUR THE LINE AND TWIST THE TRUTH AROUND THEN THEY CALL THEMSELVES A WINNER BUT THEY'RE SELF-DECEIVING FOOLS 'CAUSE THE GAME AIN'T WORTH WINNING IF YOU'RE BREAKING ALL THE RULES THE LAW IS LAYED UPON US WHEN AS KIDS WE FIRST ASK "WHY?" OUR PARENTS SET THE RULES WHEN "'CAUSE I SAID SO. were you always like this? HANRATTY Long as I can remember. HANRATTY I will not stay cool. Carl Hanratty.. and disappears.35 BRANTON Okay. Stay cool. (." THEY REPLY AND THOUGH I THOUGHT I HATED THEM AND SCREAMED WITH ALL MY MIGHT THE NEXT TIME THAT I HAD A CHOICE GEE WHIZ! I DID WHAT'S RIGHT NO.
WILD WEST DON’T BREAK THE RULES GOD’S KEEPING SCORE AND YOU DON’T WANNA FAIL THAT TEST AND BABY … I GUESS … EVERY SUNDAY IN OUR SCHOOLS THOSE RULES. IT STARTED BACK WITH MOSES WHEN HE LED AROUND THE JEWS THE JEWS AND CLIMBED WAY UP THAT MOUNTAIN TO PICK UP GOD’S DAILY NEWS TELL ME THE NEWS HE SCHLEPPED UP OLD MT. THOSE LAWS KEEP US ALIVE. BOYS. THOSE LAWS KEEP US ALIVE. MEN DON’T BREAK THE RULES THEY THINK THEY SEE THEMSELVES DON’TCHA KNOW THEY’RE NOT PAYING BACK POW!!! YOU CAN’T GIVE AWAY THOSE JEWELS DON’T BREAK THE RULES .36 HANRATTY OR ELSE WE’RE LIVING IN THE WILD. WILD WEST DON’T BREAK THE RULES GOD’S KEEPING SCORE AND YOU DON’T WANNA FAIL THAT TEST DON’T BREAK THE RULES YOU THUMB YOUR NOSE RIGHT AT THE LIFE FOR WHICH I STRIVE BUT THOSE RULES. SINAI CRIED AND BEGGED ON THEIR BEHALF OH LORD! HE ALMOST DROPPED THOSE TABLETS WHEN HE SAW THAT GOLDEN CALF WHAT? NOW WE TEACH THE TEN COMMANDMENTS EVERY SUNDAY IN OUR SCHOOLS ‘CAUSE THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING IF YOU’RE BREAKING ALL THE RULES I GUESS THE CONSTITUTION. TO SOME IS TOO COMPLEX THEY THINK OUR FOUNDING FATHERS FOUGHT SO THEY COULD FORGE SOME CHECKS THEY SEE THEMSELVES AS ROBIN HOOD STEALING FROM THE RICH NOT PAYING BACK THE THINGS THEY TAKE WELL PAYBACK IS A BITCH ‘CAUSE THE WORLD AIN’T SHERWOOD FOREST YOU CAN’T GIVE AWAY THOSE JEWELS AND THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING IF YOU’RE BREAKING ALL THE RULES OR ELSE WE’RE LIVING IN THE WILD.
37 DON’T BREAK THE RULES YOU THUMB YOUR NOSE RIGHT AT THE LIFE FOR WHICH I STRIVE BUT THOSE RULES. BABY THOSE RULES THOSE LAWS THE WORLD WOULD BE IN TOTAL CHAOS BOP! ‘CAUSE WITHOUT THEM WE’RE JUST MULES THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING DON’T BREAK THE RULES BUT THOSE RULES. WILD WEST DON’T BREAK THE RULES GOD’S KEEPING SCORE AND YOU DON’T WANNA FAIL THAT TEST DON’T BREAK THE RULES YOU THUMB YOUR NOSE AT THE LIFE FOR WHICH I STRIVE BUT THOSE RULES THOSE LAWS THOSE LAWS THOSE RULES THOSE LAWS THOSE LAWS. SELL SOME POT IT’S ALL THE SAME TO ME YOU’RE EITHER GUILTY OR YOU’RE NOT DOO-WOP. THOSE LAWS KEEP US ALIVE! WHEN YOU STEAL SOMEBODY’S MONEY SCREW HIS DAUGHTER OR HIS WIFE YOU DON’T THINK OF REPERCUSSIONS AS YOU TAP DANCE THROUGH YOUR LIFE THOUGH YOU SMILE LIKE YOU’RE A HERO YOU’RE AN OUTLAW BUT THE ODDS ARE IN MY FAVOR. DOO-WOP. THOSE LAWS KEEP US ALIVE! US ALIVE! OOH-OOH WOP OOH-OOH BOP! OOH-OOH YOU’RE AN OUTLAW THROUGH AND THROUGH AND ONE DAY I’LL CATCH YOU SO. IT’S LAWS THAT KEEP US HUMAN ‘CAUSE WITHOUT THEM WE’RE JUST MULES AND THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING I SAY THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING OH OH OH THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING IF YOU’RE BREAKING ALL THE RULES OR ELSE WE’RE LIVING IN THE WILD. GO SNEAK DOO-WOP. DOO-WOP! . GO SNEAK INTO A MOVIE RUN A RED LIGHT. WOW! IF WE ALL DID WHAT WE WANTED EVERY TIME WE FELT THE URGE THE WORLD WOULD BE IN TOTAL CHAOS IT’S ALREADY ON THE VERGE ‘CAUSE. MAN AND ONE DAY I’LL CATCH YOU SO.
38 KEEP US ALIVE! KEEP US ALIVE! BOP! SONG ENDS. flying all over the world . First Officer. .. Come on aboard. ma’am. Who the hell taught you to shoot? DOLLAR My daddy taught me how to turn a mister into a missus at a hundred yards.. Frank Junior enters with his suitcase. Are you my deadhead today? FRANK JUNIOR Yes...) BRANTON You’re dangerous. not in unison) The Skywayman. HANRATTY All right. with a flyer in hand. jumpin’ puddles for the weak and weary. Crime doesn’t take a holiday.) STEWARDESS Good morning. A lovely STEWARDESS enters with a clipboard.. posing as an airline pilot . (Hanratty enters. and Cod follows him in. All the airlines are after him . Frank Jr. I'm gonna regret this. Branton and Dollar enter opposite. FRANK JUNIOR Thanks! STEWARDESS Be sure to watch out for that Skywayman. I don’t really want to know about that. FRANK JUNIOR Skywayman? (The Stewardess hands him a newspaper. Been on the same equipment all week. but I’ve got the jump seat open. (Hanratty grabs and scans it. STEWARDESS First class is full. (The FBI Agents scatter. BRANTON Yeah . scans it. kid.. opened and folded to an article. but look at this field bulletin..) HANRATTY + FRANK JUNIOR (overlapping. back to work.) COD Hanratty..
We're checking every airport hotel. boys.. he drops rubber everywhere he goes. I'll have to look out for him.) HANRATTY Nice work. cafe. She follows. motel. and commissary on the Eastern seaboard. FRANK JUNIOR Like a superhero. HANRATTY Maybe he's a master con artist. HANRATTY Maybe . All right. FRANK JUNIOR Crazy world we live in. Cod.39 STEWARDESS They don't know how he does it. (Frank Junior gives the paper back to the Hotel Clerk and exits. (MUSIC.) . Hanratty and the boys exit and we go right to the Latin Quarter.. We just became front page news. COD Maybe he forged some credentials? FRANK JUNIOR The Skywayman.
FRANK SENIOR Hollywood. They have a guy to give towels to the guy who gives you towels. Sooner or later. I thought it might be just the place to take you when I got back to the States.40 Scene 10: The Latin Quarter. It's all a matter of timing. The goddamn government knows that. with the girls dressed in pinstripes.) FRANK SENIOR This place .. in uniform. FRANK SENIOR Where? FRANK JUNIOR Los Angeles. I went by the store today. FRANK JUNIOR Yeah. So I just shut the doors myself. I'm sort of just a copilot. waits at their table. Called their bluff. FROM PAREE A MAN CAN MAKE PASSES OR USE X RAY GLASSES BUT! PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT HE’LL SEE! SONG ENDS. FRANK SENIOR Look at us. FRANK SENIOR I had to close the store for a while. they hit you when you're down. Where're you flying that plane tonight? FRANK JUNIOR Well. FRANK SENIOR My son the birdman. (Frank Senior makes his way through the beautiful girls—who give him a little love. I don't really fly. FRANK JUNIOR Dad. Frank. On top of the world.) SONG: THE PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT THEY SEE (REPRISE) SHOWGIRLS UNDERNEATH IS MY UNIFORM ALL IN SILK. I wasn't going to let them take it from me. . they'll forget about me. something else. Frankie. FRANK JUNIOR I heard about it in Paris.. Frank Junior. New York City (A floor show is just finishing.
Frankie. always has been. Dad. FRANK JUNIOR Listen. (Back to Frank Junior. everything's different now. FRANK SENIOR Keep it. MUSIC.) FRANK SENIOR What's this? FRANK JUNIOR Let's open up the store.) Don't worry about your mom and me. I can help out now. I make lots of money.41 (Frank Junior slides a thick envelope across the table. Frankie. Take good care of yourself. FRANK SENIOR I don't know. FRANK SENIOR And here I thought you were just a copilot. Get things back the way they were. she was my wife.) … and strike up an orchestra. I can snap my fingers . watching her dance. And six weeks later. Because I learned from the best. She's stubborn. lunch in Miami. believe me. FRANK SENIOR That's fine. FRANK JUNIOR I can be anything you need me to be. Frank Sr.) Double Bourbon. FRANK JUNIOR If she saw you had the store back — FRANK SENIOR Two hundred soldiers in that tiny social hall. and dinner in San Francisco. . But I won't let her go without a fight. (He raises his hand. There's plenty more where this came from. FRANK JUNIOR She could be again. I got this great job. I can have breakfast in Rome. FRANK JUNIOR I'm fine. Dad.. FRANK JUNIOR But maybe if Mom saw — FRANK SENIOR Do I look like I need your help? (A moment. snaps his fingers twice. Pay off the Feds. I didn't speak a word of French. to bartender. She's a formidable woman. You got your own worries..
HE MADE COFFEE OUT OF BEANS . FRANK SENIOR Well. FRANK JUNIOR This is a duet. FRANK JUNIOR Really? FRANK SENIOR. THERE WAS A COCKROACH IN BRAZIL GOT DRUNK AT THE LOCAL COFFEE MILL HE THOUGHT HIS TIME WAS UP UNTIL HE MADE COFFEE OUTTA BEANS WHEN HE CAME TO HE HEARD SUCH A SOUND MUCH TO HIS SHOCK WHEN HE LOOKED AROUND HE HAD BEEN SCOOPED AND WAS ABOUT TO BE GROUND SO. HE’S THE BIG CHEESE UP AT “LAND O’ LAKES” HE’S LIVING PROOF THAT POP ALL IT TAKES IS A SCHEME SO IF YOU LAND IN THE GUTTER JUST MAKE BUTTER OUT OF CREAM FRANK JUNIOR Your turn. It’s Frank and Dean.. there is one you haven’t told you. DEDUCED HIS PLIGHT SAID “THIS IS NO WAY TO SPEND A SATURDAY NIGHT!” BUT HE HAD THE STYLE TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT SO HE MADE BUTTER OUTTA CREAM HE KICKED HIS LEGS UP HE TOSSED AND TURNED SO NOT TO END UP A GHOST HE DID THE HOKEY-POKEY TILL THE CREAM WAS CHURNED THEN BABY. Dad.42 SONG: BUTTER OUTTA CREAM FRANK JUNIOR REMEMBER THAT STORY I LEARNED AT YOUR FEET WELL NOW IT’S MY TURN. It’s not a solo act.. TAKE A SEAT TWO LITTLE MICE OF GREAT RENOWN FELL IN SOME MILK AND ONE PROCEEDED TO DROWN THE OTHER ONE’S STILL THE TOAST OF THE TOWN CAUSE HE MADE BUTTER OUTTA CREAM HE LOOKED AROUND. you know . FRANK SENIOR Nah—you’re doing great. HE WALKED RIGHT OUT AND BUTTERED HIS TOAST NOW HE’S ON TOP FOR GOODNESS SAKES YEAH.
Son! BOTH SO THINK OF THOSE TWO WHEN LIFE’S THE PITS FRANK SENIOR “THE BUG” FRANK JUNIOR AND “THE MOUSE” BOTH AT THE END OF THEIR WITS THEY KNEW THE KEY TO LIFE IS THAT ITS WHA’ CHA DREAM SO IF LEMONS CLOG YOUR SINK UP DON’T JUST STAND AROUND AND SCREAM SPIKE SOME LEMONADE AND DRINK UP AND MAKE BUTTER OUT OF CREAM FRANK SENIOR JUST MAKE BUTTER OUT OF CREAM FRANK JUNIOR MAKE SOME BUTTER OUT OF CREAM FRANK SENIOR I HEAR WHAT YOU’RE SAYING. THINGS BEGAN TO PERCOLATE HE HELD HIS BREATH AND SWAM TO THE TOP HE BORROWED BEANS FROM HIS MOM AND POP AND OPENED UP HIS OWN COFFEE SHOP OUT IN QUEENS! WHEN HIS LIGHTS WERE ALMOST OFF HE JUST MADE COFFEE OUTTA BEANS FRANK JUNIOR Let’s bring this one home. SON I’LL MAKE BUTTER OUT OF CREAM! SONG ENDS .43 FRANK SENIOR (CONT’D) HE MARCHED TO THE SOUTH AND HE STOMPED TO THE NORTH HE HAD TO RACE AGAINST FATE HE DID THE CUCARACHA WHILE THOSE TEARS POURED FORTH THEN SEÑOR. Dad! FRANK SENIOR All right.
junk-food containers. . Room 135 (Hanratty. inspecting furniture. when you're dead. DOLLAR (holds up a comic book) The Flash. COD Oh my god! It's Hanratty! HANRATTY That's funny. and Dollar inspect a much-used motel room: comic books. I'll process the room. HANRATTY (sighs) Branton. Branton appears at the door. people.) HANRATTY A man's secrets are in his trash. crumpled papers. COD Looks like he left in a hurry. I'll make a note to laugh later. get license plate numbers on every car in the lot. and dumps the contents on the floor. Dollar.) BRANTON Hanaratty! The manager says he just checked out three hours ago. He likes comic books. Come on. BRANTON (holds up a Playboy) He has a breast fetish. (The other agents look at the trash.) Mister Taylor. then at Hanratty. That's very funny. go canvas the other guests. Cod. Impress me. lifting cushions.) BRANTON I'll take your word for it. HANRATTY Okay fellows. Cod. opening drawers. What's his next move? What goes on in the mind of an obsessive loner? BRANTON Why don't you tell us? (Hanratty glares at Branton. No forwarding. Cod.44 Scene 11: Idlewild Airport Motel. real name unknown. COD (holds up a pizza box and a jar of peanut butter) He lives on junk food. Was here for almost a week. (They begin to pore over the room. then picks up the wastebasket. left us a goldmine.
45 COD (as the men leave) Right. THEY'LL BE MY GUIDE TO THE MAN INSIDE THE CLUES (Lights on Frank Junior. give me the phone.) HANRATTY A BOBBY PIN TWO BASEBALL CARDS SOME DAY-OLD CHINESE FOOD TWO TICKET STUBS THE RED SOX ALWAYS LOSE . no. Say. Elsewhere. I know you're in here somewhere. Paula looks at Jack and shakes her head. SONG: THE MAN INSIDE THE CLUES HANRATTY A COMIC BOOK A MISS JULY A MATCHBOOK FROM "THE FLAME" SOME CHEWING GUM A MISMATCHED PAIR OF SHOES A LETTER HOME THAT WASN’T MAILED A CHECK WITHOUT A NAME YEAH. in night clothes. PAULA Frankie. Hanratty. The Flash? Peanut butter? Maybe he's got a kid? (Hanratty goes to work. are you there? (Frank Junior abruptly hangs up. Something doesn't jive here. no. on the phone.) All right. Jack Barnes and Paula. Lights fade on all three. Paula on the phone. You ever look at your own garbage? (The other agents go.) HANRATTY No. Mister Taylor.) PAULA Hello? Hello? Frankie is that you? JACK BARNES Is it him again? PAULA Frankie? JACK BARNES Paula. A RING. picking through the garbage. in another hotel room.
) HANRATTY DO NOT DISTURB IS ON THE DOOR THE MAID.) BRANTON Anything? HANRATTY (hands him a crumpled sheet of paper) Pan Am stationery.46 A VALENTINE THAT WASN’T SENT A SCENT TO SET THE MOOD WHEN I TAKE A RIDE WITH THE MAN INSIDE THE CLUES (Lights on Frank Junior. sure. Have you been there? It's so beautiful—oh. Maybe then --" (looks up) Unfinished. (reads) "As a Pan Am pilot. (The men exit. SHE NEVER COMES HE LOCKED THE DOOR BUT I DON'T NEED A KEY THERE'S ONLY GARBAGE ON THE FLOOR TO OTHERS. I know it's late—I just flew in from Ireland. my family flies for free. BRANTON He could use the sun. DOLLAR Fantastic. in yet another hotel room. Hanratty moves to follow. COD (as he and Branton turn to go) Now that's the best idea he's had yet. he'd be transparent. I'll hold. If he were any more pale. but stops. yeah. I'd like to place an order. and returns to the room. And so are we.) . BRANTON The two of who? HANRATTY Who knows? But we know he's going to Los Angeles. THEY'RE JUST CRUMBS THOSE CRUMBS LOOK LIKE A FIVE-COURSE MEAL TO ME (The other agents return.) FRANK JUNIOR Hi Miss Room Service. The two of you should come out to Los Angeles with me. (Lights fade on him.
47 HANRATTY I'VE LOOKED INTO SO MANY LIVES BUT NEVER AT MY OWN THE TRAIL I LEFT IS SUCH A DAMN CLICHÉ THE LONELY WIFE. THE HOUSE FOR SALE A MILLION NIGHTS ALONE TO WISH YOU HAD THE THINGS YOU THREW AWAY .. .. BY THE MAN INSIDE THE CLUES THE MAN INSIDE THE CLUES. SONG ENDS. LIKE A FRONT DOOR KEY A HOME COOKED MEAL THE HAPPY BRIDE AND GROOM THEN LIFE KICKS IN AND MAKES YOU PAY YOUR DUES AND THEN YOU FIND YOU'RE BY YOURSELF IN A SINGLE MOTEL ROOM THAT'S BEEN OCCUPIED ...
RADIO ANNOUNCEMENT KRLA … It’s currently a summer sixty five degrees here in Los Angeles … MOTEL MANAGER He wrote three checks.. Hanratty points his gun. I don’t want my customers harassed.B. Junior laying on his bed in his room. in other directions. From the bathroom. (Hanratty proceeds. I was gonna deposit this one today. gun drawn. The rest exit.48 Scene 12: A Motel (Patio and Room) in Los Angeles. to room 201. Dollar takes the exit. HANRATTY I take the lead. you’ll get one. listening to the radio. (Dollar complies. Dollar eagerly follows suit..) If you’re good little boys. MOTEL MANAGER Good. I’ll buy you all a Good Humor bar. Hanratty and men enter the patio with the MOTEL MANAGER. HANRATTY Relax.) HANRATTY F. HANRATTY You mean he’s still here? MOTEL MANAGER (hesitates) Two-oh-one. MOTEL MANAGER You said there wouldn’t be any trouble.! (.I. but the room is empty.B. too.) Hanratty bursts in through the door . mister. glumly.I.. I’ll just take this check and be on my way. I don’t want any trouble.) HANRATTY F. They all cleared.) Put it away. looking over a bureau and table filled with the implements of forgery. (Hanratty draws his gun. We see Frank. Hanratty slowly moves in. HANRATTY There won’t be any trouble. a FLUSH.. cautiously. . You guys back me up.! Come out with your hands on your head.
FRANK JUNIOR Relax. too? HANRATTY No. you’re late. (tosses him wallet) You want my gun.) FRANK JUNIOR Guy's got a MICR encoder. .C. United States Secret Service. We almost had him in New York. then in a motel outside D. The name's Allen. buddy. Nods at Hanratty. HANRATTY What are you talking about? Keep your hands on your head.I. can you believe that? HANRATTY Don’t move. Carl Hanratty. Your man just tried to climb out the window—my partner has him in custody downstairs. near Dulles airport. anyway? HANRATTY Hanratty. FRANK JUNIOR You think the F. FRANK JUNIOR Here. Put your hands on your head or I’ll shoot.B. are the only ones tracking this guy? He’s been dabbling in government checks. Carl? HANRATTY Sure. take my whole wallet. FRANK JUNIORS Can’t be too careful these days. We’ve been following a paper trail for months.49 (Frank Junior calmly emerges from the bathroom. I wasn’t expecting Secret Service on this.) FRANK JUNIOR He’s got about two hundred checks here—a gallon of India ink. Would you mind taking that gun out of my face? It makes me nervous. HANRATTY Keep your hands where I can see them. HANRATTY Let me see some identification. (Frank Junior ignores the gun pointed at him and walks to the desk. He's in a different. What’s your name. Barry Allen. no. black suit. FRANK JUNIOR Don’t worry about it. FRANK JUNIOR You mind if I see some ID. drafting glue—he even makes little payroll envelopes addressed to himself from Pan Am.
He must be your age at least. FRANK JUNIOR (freezes. turns) What? HANRATTY Your wallet. Carl. I don’t want anyway walking through my crime scene. That was a joke. I trust you. . Right here. Frank Junior goes to a pitcher of water and pours himself a drink — and only we can see he's trembling. Five minutes earlier and you would have landed yourself a pretty good collar. HANRATTY Sure. FRANK JUNIOR Hang on to it till I come back for the rest of the stuff.) Hey. HANRATTY Wait.) Here. (Frank Junior picks up the MICR machine and heads for the door. Sit tight a minute while I get some of this evidence downstairs. let me ask you something. I hate when that happens. I’m just a little … (Hanratty indicates nerves with his hands. I asked for that one! FRANK JUNIOR Just do me a favor. (They laugh.50 HANRATTY Sure. HANRATTY Okay. some maid comes in here and starts making the bed. HANRATTY Yeah? I had him figured for an older guy. What does he look like? FRANK JUNIOR He's a handsome son of a bitch. sorry. FRANK JUNIOR He is pretty damn old. HANRATTY That’s okay. HANRATTY You shouldn’t.) FRANK JUNIOR You know. ten seconds later you would have been shot. (Hanratty hands Frank Junior his business card) FRANK JUNIOR Tough luck. then stop laughing.
) FRANK JUNIOR That was close. Fingers through the ID cards within. To us.) I love my job.. Keep talking. Barry Allen from the Secret Service. (unable to contain himself) We got him! (He does a little victory dance. (He stops. HANRATTY Oh. I don't know why. (Frank Junior smiles at him and goes.) Frank Taylor. Carl. (Lights. Opens the wallet.) HANRATTY Nice guy. The best time of the year. I love it. I guess I always wanted to see our nation's capital at Christmas. I love it.) COD Where is he? HANRATTY I had him. sir. Maintain eye contact. I love it. Not to me. Frank Williams. He was right there! BRANTON What are you talking about? HANRATTY I let him convince me he was someone else.) Mister Hanratty and his men caught the next plane back to DC.. . HANRATTY Not to me. And I . Frank Fuck! (The other three agents rush into the room. it happens to the best of us. Jesus Christ. DOLLAR We all make mistakes. I caught the one after that. (He shrugs. wasn't it? Misdirection.51 FRANK JUNIOR You got me. Thinks a minute. DOLLAR Barry Allen? The Flash? HANRATTY What? DOLLAR Barry Allen is the alter ego of the Flash. Frank Black. Frank Junior in a spot.
come on. FRANK JUNIOR I'm just going to get some air.) . THE SOUND’S SUBLIME LISTEN TO THOSE CHURCH BELLS CHIME CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR (A few of the Stewardesses approach Frank Junior.) BRANTON Hanratty. He picks up. He's poring over documents with a loupe. Branton enters. It's Christmas. It's Christmas Eve. (checks his watch without looking up) It's not Christmas Eve. DC SONG: CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR (PARTY VERSION) (The Stewardesses and Pilots party as Frank Junior looks on.52 Scene 13: A Hotel Room and the FBI Building. You've got kids. Hanratty's phone RINGS.) PARTYGOERS ANGELS SING. BRANTON You want me to stay? HANRATTY No.) HANRATTY This is Hanratty. both Washington.) LINDY What’s the matter. honey? CINDY You look pooped! MINDY You need a good long layover. (Frank Junior struggles to extricate himself and get offstage to get his letter jacket on. You're not going to redeem yourself with the boys upstairs by having a miserable holiday.) (The Stewardesses and Pilots dance off as we TRANISTION TO Hanratty's office. BRANTON Merry Christmas. (Lights on Frank Junior at a pay phone. Go home. HANRATTY You're wrong. Merry Christmas. Hanratty (He goes.
FRANK JUNIOR Me either. No family. FRANK JUNIOR Carl. HANRATTY Then tell me something: how did you know I wouldn’t look in your wallet? FRANK JUNIOR I didn’t. HANRATTY You’re gonna get caught. Secret Service! What do you want? FRANK JUNIOR I want to apologize for what happened out in Los Angeles. don’t you? One way or another. Carl. Just like Vegas—the house always wins. I knew it was you. FRANK JUNIOR People only know what you tell them. HANRATTY Yeah? Screw you. CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR FRANK JUNIOR SOME SUGAR PLUMS I HAVEN’T KISSED BUT MISTLETOE I MUST RESIST CAUSE I’M ON ST. It’s Christmas. HANRATTY Goddamn it.53 FRANK JUNIOR Hello. HANRATTY Barry Allen. FRANK JUNIOR I didn’t think I’d get you in. I thought maybe you had a family? HANRATTY No. I’m sorry if I made a fool out of you. The fact is. I did. CARL’S MOST WANTED LIST . SONG: MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR HANRATTY YEAH. Maybe I didn’t pull the trigger but I knew. DON’TCHA LOVE THE YULETIDE FUN THERE’S JOY AND CHEER FOR EVERYONE I WAIT FOR SANTA WITH A GUN YES. you don't feel sorry for me. Merry Christmas. HANRATTY Who is this? FRANK JUNIOR I’ve been trying to track you down. you know that.
But stops. NOT YOU PAULA CAUSE YOUR FAMILY’S HERE FRANK SENIOR & PAULA YEAH. While Hanratty waits on the other end of the phone. RIGHT BY THE PHONE FRANK JUNIOR & HANRATTY YES CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR HANRATTY Wait a minute.) HANRATTY SO. HANRATTY Frank! Wait! (Frank Junior almost hangs up the phone. IF TOMORROW SANTA’S FLOWN THE TREE IS DOWN AND YOU’RE ALONE I'M ALWAYS HERE. FRANK JUNIOR (half beat) I have to go. did you? FRANK JUNIOR What do you mean? HANRATTY You’ve got no one else to talk to.54 BOTH YES. FRANK SR. THEY’RE STILL YOURS TO HOLD IF YOU … FRANK SENIOR & PAULA & HANRATTY COME IN FROM THE COLD (Lights fade on Frank Senior and Paula. FRANK JR. separately.) . Frank Junior covers the mouthpiece and turns to us. PAULA AND THERE’S A HOME WHERE YOU CAN’T GO AND THERE’S A LIFE THAT’S FULL OF LOVE YOU USED TO KNOW HANRATTY FOR ME IT’S TRUE FRANK SENIOR BUT KID. CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR (Lights on Frank Senior and Paula. Wait a minute.) HANRATTY. You didn’t call me to apologize.
HANRATTY Sooner or later you'll get tired of running. and she was gonna change everything. Frank Junior jumps off the stage and disappears up the aisle of the theatre. I HOPE WE’LL MEET AGAIN LIKE WHEN YOU’RE SERVING EIGHT TO TEN BOTH YES.55 FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty was right. HANRATTY No I won't. CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR (Hanratty sees Frank Junior in the pay phone booth.. Tonight . HANRATTY Why? FRANK JUNIOR Just do it. END OF ACT ONE . Frank Junior turns back to the phone. dreaming. FRANK JUNIOR Sooner or later you'll get tired of chasing me.. (Lights on Brenda. FRANK JUNIOR Look out the window.) HANRATTY (to himself) He’s a kid.) I’LL CALL YOU SOON. (to us) He’s a kid. BUT WHO KNOWS WHEN HANRATTY AND. Everything. (He sings. She stops and looks in our direction.. SONG ENDS. It was a lonely life.) But right now . HANRATTY Frank? (Brenda fades. FRANK..) FRANK JUNIOR I'm still here. But I was about to meet someone.
I think that's gonna take a while. drinks in hand. (PARTY DOCTORS and NURSES enter at a stumbling run.56 ACT TWO Scene 1: The FBI Building. I moved to the Riverbend Apartments in Atlanta. whipping off his fedora and RayBans to reveal . Washington..) We just go to each address and ask to see a family photo. so it was time for me to lay low for a while. (The PARTY DOCTOR approaches Frank Junior as we CONTINUE TO:) . DC (As the Entre' Acte ends.) ALL PARTY DOCTORS + NURSES Woo-hoo! FRANK JUNIOR Of course. I just had to keep a low profile. no more high living. huddled in a hallway. (Hanratty exits.. Riverbend would be written up in Playboy as the address for swinging singles..) FRANK JUNIOR Good luck with that! Poor Agent Hanratty. We know he's a kid. . DOLLAR (voice over) How long will that take? HANRATTY As long as it takes. it's simple. We find out who's responsible for the kid. Georgia. men. full of professionals. which just keeps coming. a few years later. and I'd wrung out every bank in the Northeast. I pulled a list from the mainframe. So we check out every runaway teen and missing student in the tri-state area over the past three years. the perfect place to keep things quiet. a real nice complex. we see Hanratty and his three men. No more cons. He waves. (He pulls out a sheet of paper. Frank Junior. Let's go.. live off my savings. But for right now.) HANRATTY Look. the long list trailing behind him. My career as a pilot was pretty much done. no more lies. The men follow. The last agent stays behind.
surgery? Orthopedics? FRANK JUNIOR Pediatrics? PARTY DOCTOR Snot-nosed little kids? You can have 'em.. Why do I do this every time? (MUSIC. (Frank Junior turns to us. Why do I do this every time?) PARTY DOCTOR What do you do. no. thank you.. I'm a doctor. what brings you to the Riverbend complex? I thought it was just us doctors and nurses here. Atlanta (The PARTY DOCTOR throws an arm around him. Listen. You know... Frank. I .. ) Oh yeah. FRANK JUNIOR (works the problem) Oh. (. then back to us. I'll find out if there's anything open down at Atlanta General. Well. ARE YOU ON CALL? I'M NOT FEELING SO WELL AT ALL I KEPT THINKING ABOUT YA AS I COULD NOT SLEEP A WINK LAST NIGHT NURSE I TOSSED AND TURNED THE WHOLE NIGHT LONG KEPT FEELING LIKE SOMETHING'S WRONG I NEED A CHECKUP TO MAKE EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT .. (The NURSES seduce Frank Junior into the medical profession—dressing him as a doctor in the process.) FRANK JUNIOR Oh.) SONG: DOCTOR'S ORDERS NURSE HEY DOCTOR. Be great to have you there! (He goes. (Frank Junior shoots us a despairing look. The NURSES rise into view. sexy legs first.) Ladies and gentlemen—nurses.) PARTY DOCTOR So. Frank Junior looks at them .57 Scene 2: The Riverbend Apartments and Atlanta General Hospital.) What am I doing? I can't be a doctor.
I .) BEN CASEY I think what we have here is advanced third-degree encephelomarginalia. (He snaps his fingers and a Ben Casey episode appears.C.58 ALL NURSES SO I . . NURSE MADE THIS APPOINTMENT NURSE AND I CLEARED YOUR AFTERNOON ALL NURSES YES. Frank Junior watches as Ben Casey makes a diagnosis. What do you recommend.." THREE NURSES AND I GOTTA GET SOME SOON . We'll run every test we can. I concur. I NEVER FELT SO BAD I NEED SOMETHING I NEVER HAD AND I'M READY . We'll find out what's ailing you. NURSE NEED ME A LITTLE "T..L.. TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS! ALL NURSES OOH OOH ...) FRANK JUNIOR How am I going to get through this? Medicine? But. now that I think of it... Ben Casey always made it look easy on television. ALL NURSES LET ME TELL YA THAT NURSE MAYBE I NEVER LISTENED GOOD I NEVER DID THE THINGS I SHOULD BUT I'M READY TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS! NURSE BABY. son. Do you concur.. Doctor Casey? BEN CASEY Let's not jump to any conclusions. doctor? OTHER DOCTOR Yes.. standing over a patient with another doctor.. the last one handing him a remote. (The Nurses leave him.
59 FRANK JUNIOR (clicks it off. He's inspecting a parchment document. seriously... (He goes. the sight of blood makes me vomit. DOCTOR WANAMAKER You're just the perfect candidate. DOCTOR WANAMAKER At the moment. and the nurses come back. Beneath a doctor of your qualifications.) NURSE MAYBE I NEED YOUR REMEDY DOC.. Slightly doddering. calligraphy. and press-on-letters. FRANK JUNIOR I should mention. FRANK JUNIOR (to us) Act Two is brought to you by parchment paper. READY DOCTOR'S ORDERS NURSES OOH OOH .. And you actually brought in your diploma.. IT'S AN EMERGENCY AND I'M READY TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS NURSE BABY I NEED THE ANTIDOTE YOU'RE HIDING UNDER THAT WHITE LAB COAT YES I'M READY TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS NURSES OOH OOH . (Wanamaker laughs. READY DOCTOR'S ORDERS . Welcome aboard..) DOCTOR WANAMAKER Harvard University! Very impressive. DOCTOR WANAMAKER And we also have your recommendation from Death Valley Children's Hospital. I could pick up a few books at the Emory bookstore. Doctor . Frank Junior laughs. Frank Junior stops laughing and gives us a panicked look. DOCTOR WANAMAKER All right then. so you wouldn't get much real patient contact— FRANK JUNIOR I'll take it. speaks to us) That’s gonna come in handy. and you'd primarily be supervising residents and interns. the only thing open is overnight ER supervisor. But there's the little matter of a med school degree — (He's joined by DOCTOR WANAMAKER.) No. Doctor Connors. he's the head of Atlanta General. Hanratty? FRANK JUNIOR He’s my mentor.
lifts sheet) He’s got a bone sticking out of his leg..) FRANK JUNIOR Wait! Nurse! Not you! (He tries to follow. Nurse Strong. FRANK JUNIOR (struggling not to lose it) Yes . I. And it didn’t hurt that she was the best nurse there. car versus bike. concur! I concur! Just go! Go! BRENDA You heard him! Go! Go! (She ushers them out as Frank Junior recovers. We'll run every test we can.. (Two interns enter. Doctor . BRENDA (leading him to water) Okay. pushing a gurney. but the Sexy Nurses return to block his way. Doctor Conners. I ..... uh .... Should we set it or get a surgical consult? FRANK JUNIOR (Caseyesque—showing off for her) Let's not jump to any conclusions.) BRENDA Doctor Conners! MVA. Brenda lifts the bloody sheet. but— INTERN (interrupting. she was the one. and pursues her. The minute I saw her. she was real.) NURSES OOH-OOH-OOH OOH-OOH-OOH AH-AH . I needed the help. I knew.60 (BRENDA pushes her way through the passel of sexy nurses) BRENDA Doctor Conners! Doctor Conners! (Frank Junior turns and sees her and FRANK JUNIOR And there she was—in the middle of all those glamazons ..
OOH .) BRENDA Doctor Conners? Doctor Conners? FRANK JUNIOR (wakes with a start) Oh.. I was . LET'S ROCK STEADY ALL 'CAUSE I'M READY . HOT DAMN NURSES OOH OOH . I haven’t been getting much sleep at the apartment these days...... uh . . CAN'T CATCH MY BREATH DOCTOR YOU GOT THE KISS OF DEATH NURSES AND I'M READY READY COME ON.. LET'S ROCK STEADY ALL MEN NURSES AND DOCTORS AHH .. I'VE GOT BLUE CROSS AND I'VE GOT BLUE SHIELD AND I'M READY READY TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS DOCTOR'S ORDERS NURSE BABY. Frank Junior grabs some shut-eye on a gurney... Brenda enters. OOH . TAKE OUT THAT STETHOSCOPE YOU MAY BE MY ONLY HOPE SO I'M READY READY TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS ALL NURSES TALKING ‘BOUT WHAM-BAM DAMN NURSE OXYGEN PLEASE. ENSEMBLE READY READY COME ON..61 NURSE I KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT AN APPLE A DAY TO BE THE STRONGEST GAL IN TOWN BUT IF AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY I'M GONNA BURN THAT ORCHARD DOWN! NURSE BABY DON'T STOP UNTIL I'M HEALED OOH OOH ..... I'M GONNA BURN THAT ORCHARD DOWN SONG ENDS.. FOR DOCTOR'S ORDERS! WOO! (The doctors and nurses exit.
FRANK JUNIOR Hello. dark red in translucent plastic.. just some bad tuna. I've tried to start a conversation with you four times a day for eleven days and you’ve barely even said hello. sir..62 BRENDA Doctor Conners.) BRENDA Are you okay? FRANK JUNIOR Sorry .at the cafeteria. Hello.) NURSE O-negative! O-negative! Who’s got the O-negative? (Brenda holds it up and the nurse grabs it.. Pretend I’m a pilot. (She moves to go. . BRENDA But their coffee’s worse than the tuna. FRANK JUNIOR Pretend I'm not a doctor. Doctor Conners. Is it me? BRENDA I’m so sorry. They don't like us to fraternize with the doctors. Oh! You mean have a cup of coffee in a social way.) Doctor? (A nurse strides through. Or an astronaut. FRANK JUNIOR I guess I do.) FRANK JUNIOR Nurse Strong! BRENDA I’m sorry. groaning.. BRENDA (half beat) Goodbye. BRENDA Is there anything I can do? FRANK JUNIOR You could have coffee with me. do you know which patient gets the O-Negative? (She holds up a blood bag. Frank Junior takes one look and turns and clutches his stomach.
) INTERN Doctor Conners. A playboy maybe. tall. Act like you're not afraid. I'll call surgery. . I’m the youngest nurse here. And they can't exactly find the hand . and pretty soon you will. FRANK JUNIOR I’m not really in to all that Riverbend madness. (Two Interns enter at a run. Doctor Conners. sir.63 BRENDA Oh. you just want people to think you are? FRANK JUNIOR Well. Meat slicer. FRANK JUNIOR If you want them to listen.. Act like you have confidence. BRENDA Thank you. FRANK JUNIOR You’re very serious. Brenda steps up. Go! (The Interns hurry off.. BRENDA Good day. BRENDA Oh. with a gurney. sort of a part I play. Okay? BRENDA (smiles) Okay. you just have to sound like you know what you're talking about..) FRANK JUNIOR See? Look at you. Doctor Conners. (Frank Junior takes one look and starts to lose it. we've got a kitchen accident.. BRENDA So you’re not really a skirt-chasing party animal. I mean. FRANK JUNIOR Hey—there's a smile. and you won't be. no. no. It’s just . BRENDA I’m just trying to do a good job. They’re all so confident and sure of themselves and ... And you’re the best nurse we have. yeah. I don’t think I could see you as a pilot.) BRENDA Trauma One. I mean—wait. FRANK JUNIOR I’m the youngest doctor here. no one ever listens to me.
HANRATTY Sort of a .) SONG: LIVE IN LIVING COLOR (REPRISE) FRANK JUNIOR LIVE IN LIVING COLOR NOW THE PICTURE SEEMS SO CLEAR SHE'S ALIVE IN LIVING COLOR SO EXCUSE ME WHILE I DISAPPEAR . You were busy with Brenda.64 FRANK JUNIOR Call me Frank.) HANRATTY Sooner or later.) . (a moment. And waits. film noir .. Fine. FRANK JUNIOR All right.] HANRATTY (also to us) Actually. type of thing. Hanratty turns to us. Phillip Marlowe. MUSIC. HANRATTY I interviewed your parents. we cracked it pretty quickly— FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty. Frank Junior watches her go. New Jersey. (Hanratty appears opposite. Frank.. it's taking Agent Hanratty a really really long time to visit the house of every single runaway—[in New York. He sings. then she remembers:) Oh! Surgery! (She hurries off. You weren't there. Maybe this part is my show. (Frank Junior gestures: Have at it. and Connecticut. FRANK JUNIOR Sure.. they always make a mistake. BRENDA Okay. FRANK JUNIOR Brenda wasn't a mistake.... watching him. HANRATTY Sooner or later— FRANK JUNIOR (abruptly turns to us) Meanwhile. It's my show.
Hanratty will become the fourth. even for August. with three handsome DANCING BOYS.65 HANRATTY It was hot. But not as hot as the woman I was about to interview. . Paula enters.) FRANK JUNIOR Ladies and Gentlemen. So hot my ass was sticking to the seat of my car like a fly on paper and my suit was my own personal sauna. Too bad she was some poor kid’s mother. a few years older. Paula Abagnale and the Abagnale Dancers perform "Dancing Around the Subject". (MUSIC. She gave new meaning to the words femme fatale.
HANRATTY Oh. forging government documents— PAULA Well? So? Half of the kids his age are on dope but instead you chase after Frankie because he made a little mistake? Tant pis. She opens the book up.) HANRATTY That's him.. New Rochelle PAULA I haven’t seen Frankie. Tell me how much he owes.. Unlikely. since he ran away. Heavens to Betsy.. that's him. (reads from yearbook) Class Treasurer? PAULA Is Frankie in some sort of trouble? HANRATTY Ma'am. Here . PAULA It sounds like Frankie’s good at this. you should be very proud. He has been passing bad checks. but possible.. . (One of the Handsome Dancing Men hands her the yearbook. PAULA I don't have a recent one.. I'll write you a check— HANRATTY So far it's one-point-four million dollars. HANRATTY Yes. his junior class yearbook . PAULA Ce n'est pas possible. it's possible.66 Scene 3: The Barnes House and A Bar.. and Hanratty grabs it. your son's in a great deal of trouble. If you wanted to raise a crook. I ALWAYS KNEW I’D SEE THIS DAY I CAN’T SAY IT’S A SHOCK WHAT’S THAT EXPRESSION? QU’EST-CE QUE C’EST? HE’S “A CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK” BUT IF YOU SEE HIM PLEASE PASS ON THIS PLEA DON’T BE A STRANGER TELL HIM THAT FOR ME HANRATTY If I could just look at a photo .
HANRATTY Okay then. ALL'S FAIR . He says Frankie writes to him. HANRATTY And would I find his father? PAULA Check the bars in town. I just catch the bad guys.67 PAULA MY FRANKIE HAD A CLEVER MIND HE COULD SPEND HOURS ALL ALONE I WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN SURPRISED TO FIND HE CHANGED HIS DIAPER ON HIS OWN COULD I HAVE BEEN THERE MORE? WELL. A NEW ROMANCE IS IT A CRIME TO SAY I MADE A CHOICE AND CHOSE WHAT'S BEST FOR ME HANRATTY Where might I locate your son? PAULA Ask his father. I'LL JUST BIDE MY TIME PAULA IN LOVE. Is that what you're saying? HANRATTY I don't do blame. PAULA THOUGH I TRIED. (Split scene: The Barnes living room splits the stage with a dive bar. Frank Senior on a barstool. Paula continues to dance with the THREE ATTRACTIVE MEN in the background. ma'am.) FRANK SENIOR I GUESS TO YOU I SEEM A SCHMUCK WELL. I COULDN'T HIDE WHEN LOVE HAD FLOWN AWAY CHILDREN CLOSE THEIR EYES BUT STILL THEY SEE I TOOK A CHANCE. C’EST LA VIE DON’T BE A STRANGER TELL HIM THAT FOR ME HANRATTY You haven't heard from him since you left your husband? PAULA I'm to blame.
HANRATTY Do you have any idea where your child is? FRANK SENIOR He's always in the air. Here's the truth. Mister Abagnale. (looks Hanratty over) You expect a father to give up his son. I do. HANRATTY Yes. (waves an envelope) Got a letter from him just today. He signed up. I’d like to bring him in alive.68 FRANK SENIOR 'CAUSE I BELIEVE THAT LADY LUCK CAN STILL TURN ON A DIME PAULA COMME A LA GUERRE FRANK SENIOR AND MAYBE ONE WILL ONCE AGAIN BE THREE PAULA C'EST C'QUE J'AI TOUJOURS DIT FRANK SENIOR DON'T BE A STRANGER TELL THEM THAT FOR ME PAULA DON'T BE A STRANGER TELL HIM THAT FOR ME BOTH (NO) DON'T BE A STRANGER TELL HIM (THEM) THAT FOR ME. He never was. He's over in Nam. FRANK SENIOR Okay. Now listen to me. HANRATTY Can I see that letter? . I expect a father to do that. Real guns. People get shot in my line of work. SONG ENDS. serving his country. He's a pilot for Pan Am! What a life! HANRATTY Your son isn’t a pilot with anyone. Real bullets. I just wanted to see what you knew. FRANK SENIOR I knew that. Mister Abagnale. Your son is a counterfeiter and a con man.
I couldn't live up to that. I did the best I could. FRANK SENIOR Then I think we're all in a lot of trouble. I'd say. when the banks and the government and the big boys try to rob you blind. the game. Jesus Christ.69 FRANK SENIOR (shakes his head. What could they possibly have in common? Oh yeah. He's in country. I told him I loved him—every day. . (MUSIC. You might be the only one who can.) HANRATTY Mister Abagnale. FRANK SENIOR What can I possibly do for him that he can't do better for himself? HANRATTY You can tell him to come in.) FRANK JUNIOR These two need some music. Not a bad way to leave his troubles behind. FRANK SENIOR Please—Frank. Hell. risking his life for you and me. HANRATTY Frank. HANRATTY The game? FRANK SENIOR You know. Me. He got out of the game at just the right time. HANRATTY A man should face up to what he's done. the kid used to see me as Dean Martin. HANRATTY Is that what you taught your son? FRANK SENIOR A man should go after what he wants in life. (He smiles and exits as Hanratty and Frank Senior turn back downstage. puts letter away) No return address. Your kid needs you now. and JFK all rolled into one. You can tell him to stop.) A saloon song for two lonely souls. Don't let the bastards get the best of you. (The BARTENDER turns to pour for them—and it's Frank Junior. Frank Junior quietly replaced by the regular BARTENDER. Look out for yourself. Carl.
BE A MAN YEAH.. Of darkness. HANRATTY I swear to God.70 HANRATTY Maybe you should've told him not to commit grand larceny. HANRATTY Until someone breaks it. BE A MAN. It's the eternal cycle." HANRATTY But you want to do your kid better. FRANK SENIOR Way of the world. LITTLE BOY. Carl? HANRATTY I do not. RUN!" . we turn around and do the same to our kids. Carl. SONG: LITTLE BOY. YOU'RE NO PETER PAN. he did not. I CAME OUT JUST FINE AND IF I EVER WOULD CRY HE'D SMACK THE TEAR FROM OUT MY EYE HE TOLD ME "GROW UP. GROW SOME BALLS FRANK SENIOR Oh. right? FRANK SENIOR You got any kids. Every single day. THAT WAS POP'S ONLY PLAN HE NEVER KISSED ME OR SANG "BABY MINE" SURE. BE A MAN FRANK SENIOR LITTLE BOY. KID. HANRATTY Yeah. Our fathers screw us up. THAT MOTTO RANG THROUGHOUT THE HALLS ON MY TENTH BIRTHDAY HE SHOWED ME A GUN THEN TOOK ME TO THE CORNFIELDS AND SAID "OKAY . FRANK SENIOR Then what the hell do you know about it? I suppose your father was a prince. I'D HAVE LOVED A HUG BUT HEY. FRANK SENIOR Hah! HANRATTY LITTLE MAN..
like son. (he sings) LITTLE MAN. HANRATTY You're sure about that? FRANK SENIOR Ya gotta let go. HANRATTY LUCKY FOR ME. GROW SOME BALLS BOTH BALLGAMES THAT HE MISSED NIGHTS HE CAME HOME PISSED WELL. I DON'T THINK ABOUT THAT ANY LONGER HANRATTY NO ONE IN THE BLEACHERS FRANK SENIOR FISTFIGHTS WITH MY TEACHERS BOTH I'M LIVING PROOF WHAT DOESN'T KILL YA MAKES YA STRONGER! HANRATTY So what do you say we set the kid straight. SO WAS HIS AIM! IF HE HAD SEWN SOME NEEDLEPOINT THAT HUNG ON THE WALLS (IT WOULDA SAID) LITTLE MAN.71 HIS SENSE OF HUMOR WAS LAME FRANK SENIOR Like father. Can't hold on forever. Carl. LITTLE ME THEY COME WITH NO WARRANTY I TRIED TO FIX IT BUT WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED BOTH IT'S HARD TO SAY BUT FATHER DOESN'T ALWAYS KNOW BEST FRANK SENIOR SO CARL. huh Frank? FRANK SENIOR (thickly) Aw. waves it) A pilot! Serving his country! (slaps the envelope on the bar) He's doin' fine. the kid's great. WHEN YOU HAVE A KID HANRATTY MY EX SAID HEAVEN FORBID . (pulls the envelope out.
(MUSIC. NOT AS I DID BOTH LIKE DAD AFTER DAD AFTER DAD AFTER DAD SINCE THE WHOLE MESS BEGAN FRANK SENIOR YOU DO THE BEST YOU CAN HANRATTY LITTLE BOY. (Hanratty watches Frank Senior waver. Checks the return address.72 FRANK SENIOR DO AS I SAY. head on the bar. he is home.) SONG: MAN INSIDE THE CLUES (REPRISE) HANRATTY I’VE LOOKED INTO SO MANY LIVES BUT NEVER GOT THIS CLOSE THE DISTANCE MADE IT EASIER TO SEE I LIKE TO DO THE JOB AT HAND AND THEN IT’S “ADIOS” BUT HERE’S A CASE THAT’S GOT THE BEST OF ME AN ENVELOPE WITH HIS ADDRESS A BRAND NEW SET OF TRACKS LEADING TO A KID WITH NO ROADS LEFT TO CHOOSE THERE’S NO ONE LEFT TO SAVE THE DAY IT’S TIME TO FACE THE FACTS SO I’LL TAKE THAT RIDE TO THE BOY INSIDE THE CLUES (He goes.. TRANSITION TO . and pass out cold.) BARTENDER Anything else for ya? HANRATTY Payphone? I need to get to Atlanta. (pulls out a few bills) Make sure he gets home. Hanratty steps outside the bar. Slaps it against his hand. ) . okay? BARTENDER Buddy. BE A MAN SONG ENDS.. sit hard. Music switches to “MAN INSIDE THE CLUES” Hanratty picks up the letter.
it’s okay—I can wait. FRANK JUNIOR Brenda. I’d wait forever for you. . I mean. why'd you leave New Orleans? BRENDA (turns away) Oh. and Italy. Home. Frank. I love that you’re good at your job and that you work hard. I want to. You know girls from everywhere. FRANK JUNIOR I think we have more than you know.. But we have nothing in common. And I haven’t been back since. ordinary.. BRENDA You say that now. Frank? You could have any nurse here. (She groans. and he wasn’t very nice to me. I'm sorry. FRANK JUNIOR No.. (reaches for her) You know I'll never hurt you.. I love that I can ask you anything.) FRANK JUNIOR Brenda. No reason. I love that I can be myself around you. Why would you do something like that? BRENDA I was engaged.) Brenda come on.) BRENDA I’m sorry. Well—I sort of ran away. like . BRENDA But why me. It’s okay.C. Code Blue! Party in the I. (Frank Junior emerges from the covers.. and think of all the beautiful women there must be in Germany.U. You've been to Paris.73 Scene 4: Atlanta General Hospital INTERCOM Code Blue. To be married. Why me? FRANK JUNIOR Because . FRANK JUNIOR Brenda. (Brenda emerges. and on the morning of my wedding day I looked at myself in my dress and I realized I didn’t want to marry him. I just—I’m not ready. BRENDA I didn’t mean to be rude. BRENDA But you’re the Harvard graduate world traveler and I'm just . And so I left. it’s fine—I love a challenge. FRANK JUNIOR You ran away! Wow.. He was the son of my father’s law partner. it took a month just to get you to talk to me.
while I was looking for you. THE GRAND CANAL IN VENICE? AN EYE-TALIAN TOILET BOWL. THEY CAN'T COMPARE TO YOU I'VE BEEN A LOTTA PLACES YES. THE TAJ MAHAL? A FIXER-UPPER. THEY CAN'T COMPARE TO YOU I'VE BEEN A LOTTA PLACES YES. BRENDA THE AURORA BOREALIS? FRANK JUNIOR JUST A NIGHT LIGHT ON THE FRITZ BRENDA STONEHENGE? FRANK JUNIOR JUST A BUNCH OF ROCKS . (MUSIC.. I'VE TRAVELED NEAR AND FAR BUT NOW I KNOW THAT HOME IS WHERE YOU ARE NIAGARA FALLS? A LEAKY FAUCET THAT A PLUMBER OUGHTA FIX THE PYRAMIDS? ARE REALLY JUST A DUSTY PILE OF BRICKS.) —just some subtle orchestrations. I don't need a fancy restaurant or a huge orchestra— (He sneaks a look to the bandstand. THE GRAND CANYON? JUST A HOLE.) SONG: SEVEN WONDERS FRANK JUNIOR I'VE SEEN THE SEVEN WONDERS IF YOU GIVE OR TAKE A FEW BUT ALL THEM SEVEN WONDERS WELL.74 FRANK JUNIOR Ordinary is beautiful. (Frank sings.) All that other stuff was just what I found along way . I don't need Paris. I'VE SEEN THE SEVEN WONDERS IF YOU GIVE OR TAKE A FEW BUT ALL THEM SEVEN WONDERS WELL.. And maybe a little mood lighting. I'VE TRAVELED NEAR AND FAR BUT NOW I KNOW THAT HOME IS WHERE YOU ARE.
You'll change your mind. FRANK JUNIOR I won't. Brenda. BRENDA We can't just run away. MY TRAVELIN' DAYS ARE OVER GET THE CHECK. JUST STANDING STILL. if you were engaged? BRENDA Come on. Frank. I want to make a home with you. FRANK JUNIOR Do you think you could go home again .75 BRENDA LA BREA'S TAR? FRANK JUNIOR THE PITS. FRANK JUNIOR We could go to your parents. BRENDA My father is very intimidating. (sings) I'VE BEEN A LOTTA PLACES BUT I'VE LEARNED NOW NEAR AND FAR THERE'S NO NEED TO ROAM 'CAUSE HOME IS WHERE YOU ARE BRENDA THERE'S NO NEED TO ROAM 'CAUSE HOME IS WHERE YOU ARE FRANK JUNIOR YES.. We can run away tonight. FRANK JUNIOR The clock's ticking.. NOW I KNOW . I can't—I don't want to be a doctor forever. BRENDA HOW 'BOUT THE LEANING TOWER OF PISA? FRANK JUNIOR LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING UP AND BROKE. You're the overnight ER supervisor. tell them we're in love. BRENDA MOUNT RUSHMORE? FRANK JUNIOR SOMEONE CLIMB UP THERE AND TELL THEM BOYS A JOKE! FRANK JUNIOR + BRENDA YES. Don't tease me. I'LL PAY THE BILL 'CAUSE I SEE ALL THE WONDERS IN YOUR EYES.
) FRANK JUNIOR While Brenda and I go get dressed. fast forward a few weeks for a little segment I like to call "Frank's on First.76 FRANK JUNIOR + BRENDA THAT HOME IS WHERE YOU ARE. (As they ride off stage on their respective gurneys." . Frank Junior speaks to us. and catch the train to Nawlins. SONG ENDS.
Frank William Abagnale. and Dollar with Doctor Wanamaker. Branton. Frank Williams. Cod. A Couple Weeks Later (MUSIC. HANRATTY (to quick head shakes from Wanamaker) What about Robert Franklin? Frank Thompson? Frank Meyers? Meyer Williams? William Robertson? WANAMAKER Robert Wilson? DOLLAR Robert Williamson.) HANRATTY Doctor. WANAMAKER Wilson Robertson? DOLLAR Robert Wilkinson? HANRATTY Shut up. But that man's a pilot. WANAMAKER He looks like a pilot. we're looking for a man who goes by the names of Frank Abagnale. WANAMAKER That's a lot of names. HANRATTY William Robertson. and William Franklin Williams. HANRATTY He's not a pilot. Dollar. William Franklin.. WANAMAKER So is he a doctor? . Lights on Hanratty. Frank Taylor.77 Scene 5: Hospital Corridor. HANRATTY He's not a pilot.. (Branton pulls out a picture of Frank Junior) BRANTON Have you seen a man who looked like this? WANAMAKER Maybe .
Dollar. Too bad—good doctor. Frank Williams. DOLLAR Jeez. Dollar. HANRATTY Frank Conners. DOLLAR I knew a Frank Collins in high school. Turned in all his paperwork on time.K. Don't know where. Frank— HANRATTY Shut up. COD Frank Conners. Brenda something.78 HANRATTY Wait—he's a doctor? WANAMAKER Are you asking me or telling me? HANRATTY Did he say he's a doctor? WANAMAKER Son.A. I don't know. Frank Taylor. COD Frank Collins? WANAMAKER Frank Conners. HANRATTY So who's Frank Collins? WANAMAKER You tell me. HANRATTY + COD + BRANTON + WANAMAKER Shut up. Looked like this? WANAMAKER Without the uniform. do you have any idea who you're looking for? (Branton pulls out another photo) BRANTON Frank William Abagnale Junior. we did have a Frank Conners. DOLLAR A. . WANAMAKER You know. Ran off with a nurse.
Why? HANRATTY Let's go. (he crosses to join the Strongs. and stands by the dining room table. Frank Junior continues presenting as each Strong enters in turn. at home with the Strong family! (turns to Frank Junior) Are you sure you're ready for this? FRANK JUNIOR I was born ready.. HANRATTY For the love of—Doc.. And the cultured. Carol Strong. District Attorney. as if looking into the camera. refined. and unique Mrs. and incredibly intimidating future father-in-law.. Brenda Strong. He just supervised the ER. no.79 HANRATTY You let this man operate on patients? WANAMAKER Oh. with some dread. supportively. witty. (He gives her a little nudge. you ever go in to take out someone’s appendix and come out with something else? WANAMAKER Once or twice. in tableau. And featuring the lovely. Lights change. Brenda stands nervously in a spot. . on:) ..) FRANK JUNIOR (to us) Introducing our newest young star. (Hanratty and men leave. BRENDA And now. Frank Junior is behind her. brilliant.) FRANK JUNIOR Go ahead. and she runs to the dining room. Now. MUSIC: A vaudeville out. introducing the newest feature on our show. Roger Strong .
Are you a Lutheran? FRANK JUNIOR Why. no. he struggled so hard that he eventually churned that cream into butter and walked out. call me Frank. First Lutheran Church of Death Valley. Right behind the Macy’s. you were in California? FRANK JUNIOR Yes. but I hope to have lots of kids. Where did you learn that. This one's a hunky hunk of you-betcha. sir. Frank. ROGER They have a Children's Hospital in Death Valley? FRANK JUNIOR Yes. would you like to say grace? (off Frank Junior's hesitation:) Unless you're not comfortable. you pious piece of cutie-pie? FRANK JUNIOR The. I'm an only child. ROGER + BRENDA Amen. absolutely. ROGER Well then. FRANK JUNIOR Oh. . bows head. Don't lie to me. I am a Lutheran. ah. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned but the second mouse. sir. CAROL Well goddamn and gumbo. Brenda. (folds hands. Do you come from a large family? FRANK JUNIOR Please. Family is the most important thing. Amen. yes. CAROL Ding ding! Correct answer. now. New Orleans (The tableau comes to life as all take their seats for dinner. BRENDA Mother. Death Valley Children's Hospital. CAROL Amen and goddamn that was beautiful. We pick up the scene in progress. sir. I think you landed one this time.) ROGER And before Atlanta. ROGER Doctor Conners. thinks) Two little mice fell into a bucket of cream. Much better than that ratty little Delacroix boy. But now for the make-or-break round.80 Scene 6: The Strong House.
the yummy Yankee is a doctor and a lawyer! Oh. I’ve been thinking about getting back into law. Frank. BRENDA Oh. then I decided. Yale. The dog was dead when I got there. Frank should work for you. aren’t you full of surprises. to be quite honest. ROGER Are you a doctor or a lawyer? FRANK JUNIOR Before I went to medical school. yes. Brenda. Grumpy old Hollingsworth. right? I tell ya. I passed the bar in California. Was that snake Hollingsworth still teaching there when you went through Berkeley? FRANK JUNIOR Hollingsworth . Fantastic. meaner than ever.81 ROGER Frank. Roger. ? FRANK JUNIOR Berkeley. CAROL Oh my saints and stars.. what was the name of his little dog? FRANK JUNIOR (works the problem. then:) I'm sorry. why not try my hand at pediatrics? BRENDA Well.... FRANK JUNIOR (a look to us: he's surprised himself) Yes I am. You're always bellyachin' about how hard it is to find assistant prosecutors who aren't bayou inbreds. ROGER And that dog of his? Tell me Frank. you got yourself magic on a stick with this one! ROGER Where did you go to law school? Harvard. have you decided which hospital you want to work at here in New Orleans? FRANK JUNOR Well. Columbia . could he Daddy? Could he please? Could he come work with you please? ROGER So. I practiced law for a year. . BRENDA + CAROL Berkeley! BRENDA That's where daddy went! FRANK JUNIOR Oh! Wow. CAROL Sakes alive. darlin'.
I'd like to hear the truth from you now. If you want my daughter . FRANK JUNIOR Know what. FRANK JUNIOR Brenda’s the best girl I’ve ever known.) BRENDA Oh. FRANK JUNIOR The truth? The truth. sir. Frank? 'Cause I think you're about to ask my daughter's hand in marriage. FRANK JUNIOR I am? ROGER Yes you are. we’ve been through all this before with her. sir . a lawyer. (pause) You’re a romantic. What are you doing here? What is a man of your accomplishments doing with Brenda? After all.. sir? ROGER The truth. a Lutheran. Carol jumps up:) CAROL Oh. ROGER But who are you Frank? If you want my blessing . ROGER No. and I have a right to know. I’m nothing. Frank... Frank! (Brenda and Frank kiss. Men like us are nothing without the women we love. FRANK JUNIOR Well goddamn and gumbo! (All laugh. Tell me the truth. I’m not a doctor. She’s the real thing. A doctor. Daddy. I know what you are. Daddy! But.. is . look at the time! ROGER Is it seven-thirty already? BRENDA Is it time for Mitch? FRANK JUNIOR Mitch? CAROL Come on. really. I’m just a kid who’s in love with your daughter. So what are you.....82 ROGER How unfortunate. The truth is I’m not a lawyer. y’all! .
SONG: (OUR) FAMILY TREE CAROL I FEEL A MIGHTY QUAKE THE SOUTH BEGINS TO SHAKE UNDER OUR FAMILY TREE THE LEAVES BEGIN TO BLOW GONE WITH THE WIND THEY GO ALL THROUGH OUR FAMILY TREE UP TOP MAGNOLIAS BLOOM THEY SPREAD A SWEET PERFUME FOR THIS ANCESTRAL JUBILEE NOW EVERY BOUGH MUST PULL ITS WEIGHT IT’S TIME TO PRUNE AND PROPAGATE WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY TREE MITCH MILLER Let's hear from those fantastic fathers! ROGER I HEAR THE DOGWOOD'S BARK A SEED'S BEGUN TO SPARK INSIDE OUR FAMILY TREE A TWIG BEGINS TO POKE FROM OUT THAT MIGHTY OAK TO JOIN OUR JAMBOREE CAROL Ruff! Tsst! FAMILY TREE CAROL JAMBOREE MEN SAVE SOME OF THAT GUMBO FOR ME ROGER AND LADIES AND LIKE A SLIDE TROMBONE HE GLIDES OUT FULLY GROWN A DIXIELAND R. Come on and sing! This one's for the whole family. Mitch Miller.) MITCH MILLER NBC Presents: Sing Along With Mitch! Starring me. MUSIC. Let's begin with all those beautiful mothers! ROGER Take it.P. Mother.S. and the Sing Along Gang! Hey! Don't just sit there. MITCH MILLER appears.83 FRANK JUNIOR Who’s Mitch? (They all head for the couch. CAROL AND MEN WA-WAH WA-WA-WA-WAH .V.
ALL WOO!! FRANK JUNIOR I'LL GIVE A REBEL YELL TO EVERY SOUTHERN BELLE UNDER OUR FAMILY TREE I'LL SWING THE SECOND LINE WHEN OUR TWO CLANS COMBINE FOR SOME BIG FRANK JUNIOR + ALL EASY HARMONY FRANK JUNIOR TRUMPETS BEGIN TO SHOUT TO WELCOME YOUR NEW SPROUT YOU'VE CHARMED THIS YANKEE REFUGEE YOU’RE ALL SO LUSH AND OVERGROWN BUT I KNOW I’LL NEVER BE ALONE I'M GLAD TO CLIMB YOUR FAMILY TREE ROGER + CAROL + BRENDA + FRANK JUNIOR YOUR LOVE HAS RAISED THE BAR I'M SWINGIN' ON A STAR DOO WOW! FRANK JUNIOR FOR THAT WHO NEEDS A LAW DEGREE?!? GIRLS THE TREES THAT BEAR THE RIPEST FRUITS STRONG FAMILY SINGERS DOO WOW! . MITCH MILLER Frank. but I wouldn’t change a single one. welcome to the Family Tree. I will marry you.84 ROGER AND NO ONE MINDS AN EXTRA LIMB CAROL ESPECIALLY WHEN IT LOOKS LIKE HIM ROGER + CAROL + LADIES SO WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY TREE MITCH MILLER Ready Frank? FRANK JUNIOR (goes down on one knee) I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. because they all led me to you. Brenda Strong. will you marry me? BRENDA Yes Frank Conners.
BOYS ARE THE TREES THAT HAVE THE DEEPEST ROOTS ROGER + CAROL + BRENDA SO WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY STRONGS + STRONG FAMILY SINGERS WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY TREE Look out old Frankie is home! SONG ENDS. (After applause: MUSIC. Roger takes Carol and they dance close. Much as Frank Senior and Paula danced at the top of the show. Frank Junior watches Roger and Carol dance. Brenda returns and helps Frank Junior on with a trench coat. He gives her a kiss, and as Roger and Carol dance off we TRANSITION TO:) FRANK JUNIOR I'M WELCOME IN THE FAMILY TREE!
Scene 7: Dive Bar, New Rochelle (Frank Senior, in a postal uniform, at the bar, a crusty old BARTENDER behind it. Frank Junior enters.) FRANK JUNIOR Dad. FRANK SENIOR (turns, doesn't go to him) What are you doing here? FRANK JUNIOR I came to see you. Why are you dressed like that? FRANK SENIOR I took a job. A government job. I'm beating them at their own game. I'm a government employee—you see how beautiful that is? You got a good lawyer? FRANK JUNIOR I sort of am a lawyer now. FRANK SENIOR Look at this letter. The I.R.S. wants more. They ate the cake. Now they want the crumbs. You know what? I'll make them chase me. For the rest of their lives. (looks at Frank Junior) I had an FBI agent come see me. FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty. FRANK SENIOR You got their number, son. The United States government, champ. Running for the hills. FRANK JUNIOR Dad. It's over. I'm gonna stop now. FRANK SENIOR They're never gonna catch you, Frankie. Why would you stop? FRANK JUNIOR I'm settling down. I'm going to raise a family. (reaches into his coat, pulls out an invitation) I came here to give you this. It's an invitation to an engagement party. Daddy, I'm getting married. Can you believe it? I'm getting married. I've got two tickets for you and mom, first-class, for the wedding— FRANK SENIOR Why would you do that? You're on top of the world. FRANK JUNIOR I'm changing my life, Dad. And you won't have to worry about anything anymore. The house, the Cadillac, Everything they took from us. I’m going to get it all back. And Mom’s gonna see— FRANK SENIOR Your mother's remarried. To my friend Jack Barnes. They have a house out on Long Island.
FRANK JUNIOR Why would she do that? FRANK SENIOR Don't get married, Frankie. FRANK JUNIOR But—why would she do that to us? FRANK SENIOR There's no us anymore. Listen to me. I'm your father. FRANK JUNIOR Then tell me to stop. FRANK SENIOR Why would I tell you to stop? FRANK JUNIOR Because you're my father. FRANK SENIOR You can't stop. You're on a winning streak. You gotta ride it. You gotta ride that, baby. (as Frank Junior begins to back away.) You're an Abagnale! (a cappella, he sings:) THEY KNEW THE KEY TO LIFE (Frank Jr. pushes him away and exits.) Hey, come on and sing it with me, Frankie ... CAUSE WHEN LEMONS CLOG YOUR SINK UP DON’T JUST STAND AROUND AND SCREAM (to the band) Hey, hit it guys ... SPIKE SOME LEMONADE AND DRINK UP AND MAKE BUTTER OUT OF CREAM JUST MAKE BUTTER ... (speaks, almost inaudibly, and almost in darkness:) Frankie. (Suddenly a jangly phone RING pierces the darkness. Frank Junior steps into one spot, Hanratty into another. Both on the phone.) HANRATTY Well, well, Doctor Conners. What do you want? FRANK JUNIOR I want it to be over. I'm getting married, Carl. I'm settling down. I'm going to have a family.
.88 HANRATTY You have stolen almost two million dollars. You think we’re just going to call that a wedding present? This is not something that you can run away from. Blackout. HANRATTY And does she know the truth? About who you are? FRANK JUNIOR Do you? HANRATTY Almost all of it. Hanratty hangs up. (Frank Junior hangs up. and goes. Look for an engagement notice. Branton joins Hanratty). He loses the name. Hanratty looks at us. HANRATTY Listen. I know you rented that car in Shreveport. FRANK JUNIOR Goodbye Carl. Frank. (Branton snaps his fingers. Carl. You will go to jail. but Frank Junior stands stock still in his spot. FRANK JUNIOR I'm getting married. Where did you think this was headed? FRANK JUNIOR Please let me stop. The hotel in Lake Charles. he loses the girl. You're scared. HANRATTY You're scared because you know I'm getting closer. Please. get all the Louisiana papers. MUSIC. Carl. the one.. HANRATTY He can't. And you're tired. She knows him as Frank Conners. You will be caught. last two months. BRANTON He would've changed his name by now.) HANRATTY They always make a mistake. And TRANSITION TO:) . Frank Conners. I met the girl .
BRENDA Frank. What’s going on? FRANK JUNIOR I mean. or a .. In two days. I’ll be too afraid—I’m no good at lying. right—what's a name? My name is Frank Conners. a Lutheran. and it's full of money.) BRENDA Frank. where'd you get all that money? FRANK JUNIOR A name. BRENDA What? FRANK JUNIOR You love me. But we all have secrets. You’re gonna leave the house after your parents go to sleep. you love me no matter what? BRENDA Well—of course. . I'm not a lawyer. in a party dress. Strong House. I never went to medical school. BRENDA Frank. New Orleans (Frank Junior madly pulling suitcases from beneath the bed. or whether I had a different name? (He opens a suitcase to throw some clothes in. I use the name Frank Taylor. FRANK JUNIOR We have to leave. And you're not going to tell anyone.) BRENDA Frank. give the driver that money and tell him to drive all through the night. BRENDA Frank . right? That's who I am with you. take a taxi cab.. what are you talking about? Why are you saying all this? FRANK JUNIOR I don't want to lie to you anymore. Frank. Here's what we're gonna do. I can’t. You're not a Lutheran? FRANK JUNIOR Okay. FRANK JUNIOR Whether I was poor. sees what he's doing:) What're you doing? Everyone's downstairs waiting to meet the groom-to-be. Brenda sweeps in. I ran away from home two years ago when I was sixteen. right? BRENDA Of course. engagement gifts from Daddy's friends— (breaks off. Here’s money. Not even your parents. or a Harvard graduate. or whether I was sick. That's my secret. where should I put these? They're checks. Sometimes when I travel..89 Scene 8: Brenda's Bedroom. I'm not a doctor. you're gonna meet me at Miami International Airport. Brenda.. or a Berkeley graduate.
) BRENDA I don’t think I can do this alone. (He grabs the suitcase to go. He pulls away gently. William.) The spotlight’s on you now. It’s like I told you before—act like you're brave.) BRENDA Frank! Please. Frank.) CAROL (offstage) Brenda! HANRATTY Brenda. sweetheart. Junior.90 FRANK JUNIOR You know you can do this. FRANK JUNIOR My name. gently:) Listen to me. He guides Brenda to it. this could end very badly. Brenda. BRENDA Frank— FRANK JUNIOR Shh. (They kiss. HANRATTY Where’d he go? (gets no answer. You have to. Now! BRENDA I can’t. and Hanratty enter. Please tell me your name.) I have to go now. Abagnale. BRENDA I love you. but she pulls him back. Roger. and you will be. FRANK JUNIOR I know you can. You need to tell me where he’s going. Is Frank. Carol. I’m gonna see you real soon. Before you go. Men who shoot to kill. Where is he? BRENDA He’s gone. No time for goodbyes. FRANK JUNIOR I love you too. then. (A spotlight appears. (He turns to go. (He kisses her again and slips out the window. We’ve got men after him in every state. .
Carol. WITH HIS SWEET AND GENTLE TOUCH... GOODBYE NO NEED TO TELL ME WHY MY BABY MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY THREE WOMEN OOH-OOH.) SONG: FLY. you’ll do the right thing. FLY. FLY AWAY .. (Brenda continues to look at the pool of light.91 (Cod bursts in. YEAH. Three of the guests saw someone leaving out the back. LAWYER. FLY . darling.) Young lady. if you love him. (Hanratty.. and Cod go.. I DIDN'T GET TO SAY GOODBYE. MMM-MMM. (Roger shakes his head and exits. HE SURE UNLOCKED MY SOUL SO IN RETURN.... HANRATTY (to Brenda. NOW I WANNA SEE HIM FLY . I SURELY WANT TO HELP TO SET HIM FREE .) COD Hanratty. INDIAN CHIEF BUT HE WAS JUST A LONELY LITTLE BOY TO ME. I SAW THE GOOD SIDE THAT'S THE KIND OF SECOND SIGHT THAT DOESN'T LAST TOO LONG BUT WHEN I WAS LOST I HEARD A VOICE THAT BROUGHT ME HEALING THAT'S THE KIND OF SPECIAL HOPE HE BROUGHT ME WITH HIS SONG PEOPLE ONLY SAW THE DOCTOR.) ROGER Brenda. moving to go) Don’t go anywhere. AH-AH BRENDA MEN WHO THEY CALL REAL THREE WOMEN . I'LL BE YOUR ALIBI MY BABY FLY. OOH-OOH. FLY AWAY BRENDA WHEN I WAS A CHILD MY EYES WERE CLEAR.
. I'LL BE YOUR ALIBI MY BABY FLY. BRING HIM DOWN AAH-AAH. MMM-MMM. OOH-OOH-OOH..92 WERE REALLY FAKES WHO LEFT ME NOTHING MMM-MMM-MMM BUT THIS MAN THEY CALL A FAKE GAVE ME SOMETHING REAL AH. FLY. AAH. I'VE KNOWN CRUEL. WE DIDN'T GET TO SAY GOODBYE. OOH-OOH-OOH WAS I THE ONLY ONE TO EVER SEE THE BOY SO NOW THEY WANNA CLIP HIS PRECIOUS WINGS AND BRING HIM DOWN BUT IN HIS HEART AND SOUL'S THE KIND OF GOOD THEY CAN'T DESTROY (Brenda’s bedroom starts to go away) YEAH. AH-AH. WE DIDN'T GET TO SAY GOODBYE. OOH-OOH. FLY. YOU AND I. NOW I WANNA SEE HIM FLY .. FLY AWAY . FLY . GOODBYE NO NEED TO TELL ME WHY MY BABY MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY FLY FLY AWAY GOODBYE MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE OOH-OOH. AAH-AAH.. FLY AWAY . FLY. OOH … FLY … FLY … FLY.. AAH. FLY . AAH-AAH . I'LL BE YOUR ALIBI MY BABY FLY. OOH-OOH. AAH-AAH.. GOODBYE NO NEED TO TELL ME WHY MY BABY MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY BABY WHEN YOU'RE IN THE CLOUDS PLEASE KEEP A LOOKOUT MAYBE DARLING FIND A HIDEAWAY FOR YOU AND I YOU AND I NOW I'LL SEE HIM FLY . FLY AWAY … GOODBYE BOY. OOH-OOH OOH-OOH AAH-OOH-OOH..... OOH-OOHOOH-OOH.. CRUEL MEN WITH CHRISTIAN NAMES WHO TAUGHT ME MANNERS BUT THIS MAN WITHOUT A NAME TAUGHT ME HOW TO FEEL THEY ONLY SAW THE MAGIC TRICKS THE SMOKE AND MIRRORS OOH-OOH-OOH..
(Lights to black. FLY. MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY AND I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU THERE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY. OOH-OOH-OOH-OOH. In black.) . OOH. the deafening roar of a jet plane taking off. OOH-OOH-OOH. SONG ENDS.93 AAH-AAH. FLY AWAY.
Men! (Jerks his head to the Agents. Frank. HANRATTY This is one of your tricks.94 Scene 9: Miami International Airport (Lights on the same airport scene we saw at rise: Dollar has just fired his gun. FRANK JUNIOR I'm sure these people want to know why you're shooting at me. BRANTON Hanratty don’t let himHANRATTY I got this. HANRATTY Come on.) I think they should know who I am and what I did and why I did it.) HANRATTY For the love of — Dollar. Just go. FRANK JUNIOR That was close! You could hurt someone. Frank. but this time there's no stinger from the orchestra—only silence.) HANRATTY Branton. The Agents watch him closely. get everyone out of here. . (He smiles at us. who close in) You're not going to fool me again. You're not putting on a show for these people.A. Cod. lost in thought. (He looks to them. Agent Hanratty! COD (squints at ceiling) I think you shot down a plane. He crosses downstage. FRANK JUNIOR Can I at least make a statement first? HANRATTY At the airport? No. Like you did in that hotel room in L. what does "hold your fire" mean where you come from? DOLLAR (proud) I fired a warning shot. I'd rather take you alive than dead. They kind of do.
95 (The other agents hurry the passengers to the exits. FRANK JUNIOR WE CAN STOP PRETENDING. Any minute. HANRATTY This is not something that you can walk away from.) FRANK JUNIOR It’s sure been an exciting run. but it’s time for me to settle down to a quiet family life. Son. HANRATTY That’s not true.) How does it all end. FRANK JUNIOR NOW IT'S TIME TO SAY GOODNIGHT— HANRATTY There's nowhere you can run.) FRANK JUNIOR 'CAUSE THE SHOW IS DONE NOW AND IT'S TIME TO LEAVE THE STAGE.) When the show’s over? HANRATTY That’s right. FRANK JUNIOR TELL THE SPOTLIGHT MAN TURN OFF MY LIGHT. (Hanratty murmurs into his walkie-talkie. HANRATTY Let’s go. FRANK JUNIOR She'll be here. THE GOOD GUY WON NOW . coming downstage to speak to us: our host. SONG: GOODBYE FRANK JUNIOR IT'S MY HAPPY ENDING. with my beloved Brenda. Frank? What happens when it’s all over? FRANK JUNIOR You mean … (MUSIC. YEAH. HANRATTY You left Brenda behind. You're wanted on every continent. (But Frank Junior pays no heed.
) FRANK JUNIOR (after she's gone) Yeah. I loved you too. FRANK JUNIOR IT'S A HAPPY ENDING TO THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH. NOW THE CURTAIN'S DESCENDING AND I HOPE YOU GOT YOUR MONEY'S WORTH . HANRATTY It’s time to give up. I tried. I understand. BRENDA Frank. FRANK JUNIOR It’s okay. (He starts toward her but stops short when Branton and Dollar appear behind her.) FRANK JUNIOR Brenda? HANRATTY Brenda was your mistake. BRENDA Frank—I love you. (And they do.) BRENDA Frank! FRANK JUNIOR Brenda! Just in time. I’m sorry. get her out of here.96 AND THE BAND HAS NO MORE SONGS TO PLAY IT'S A HAPPY ENDING SO I'LL SAY GOODBYE GOODBYE TO ALL THE MAKE BELIEVE GOODBYE THERE'S NO MORE MAGIC UP MY SLEEVE THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO ACT UP HERE I'LL TAKE MY BOW AND DISAPPEAR NO QUESTIONS LEFT FOR ANSWERING THERE'S ONLY ONE WORD LEFT TO SING GOODBYE (Brenda appears. Frank. We followed her right to you. HANRATTY All right.
The police report said he had been drinking. FRANK JUNIOR No. FRANK JUNIOR GONNA STOP THE SHOW NOW 'CAUSE I WANNA LEAVE ON TOP SO GET UP AND GO NOW 'CAUSE THERE'S NOTHING LEFT INSIDE MY HEAD EVERYTHING THAT'S LEFT TO SAY'S BEEN SAID BUT GOODBYE GOODBYE TO ALL THE SONG AND DANCE GOODBYE OFFSTAGE I STAND A BETTER CHANCE THE SHOW IS THROUGH. too. Grand Central Station-he fell down some steps and broke his neck. Frank. but Hanratty is there. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you. FRANK JUNIOR My dad’s waiting for me up north. THE PART'S BEEN PLAYED NO STANDING IN THE WINGS AFRAID NO VIOLINS OR PHONY TEARS THE WORD THAT'S MUSIC TO MY EARS IS GOODBYE GOODBYE GOODBYE GOODBYE I'M NOT AFRAID OF STOPPING THIS END COULD BE MY START I WANNA LIVE A LIFE AND NOT JUST PLAY A PART I'LL WALK INTO THE SUNSET I'LL SAIL ACROSS THE SEA . HANRATTY I don't lie.) HANRATTY Let’s go. we’re gonna open up the store— HANRATTY Your dad’s dead. HANRATTY I’m sorry. You don't get to say that. FRANK JUNIOR You’re lying to me.97 (He turns to exit another way. That's not how this ends. Frank. We're gonna move back to New Rochelle.
FRANK JUNIOR I know.) FRANK JUNIOR I'M TIRED OF LIVING ON THE STAGE A LIFE THAT'S ONLY ON THE PAGE THE EMPTY LIVES ARE IN THE PAST I'VE TRIED BEFORE. it seems. Mister Hanratty. BUT HERE'S THE LAST GOODBYE GOODBYE GOODBYE GOODBYE! SONG ENDS. HANRATTY Yup. It’s time to stop. The show’s over. and crosses down to us.98 THE FINAL WORD THE LAST YOU'LL HEAR OF ME OF ME IS GOODBYE (He begins to strip the show away. HANRATTY I know.) GOODBYE TO EVERY NIGHT ALONE GOODBYE GOODBYE TO LIVES THAT I DON’T OWN (Frank Junior looks around at the bare stage. No—he’s not alone. Long after the applause has ended. but you won’t. Hanratty. I just wanted to help him get back on his feet. though everywhere he turns. Frozen in a spot. Because it won’t bring you dad back. FRANK JUNIOR How do you know? HANRATTY Because you’re tired of running. right now. . Back to real life. (Frank Junior is alone on stage. Hanratty is part of the scene. I could run. FRANK JUNIOR What if I don't know how? HANRATTY You don’t have a choice. FRANK JUNIOR I could go.) FRANK JUNIOR I don’t understand. Time to face up to what you’ve done.
BEFORE I SHOOT.99 HANRATTY I know.) Because I'm the only one who can. We’re years behind in counterfeit and forgery. FRANK JUNIOR The FBI? Really? You’re gonna lock me up.) (Cuffs Frank Jr. then let me out and pay me for what you locked me up for? HANRATTY That’s what I said. (Frank Jr.) HANRATTY Hey. pay your debt to society and we’ll get you out early. Merry Christmas. YOUR NOSE IS RUNNING ON MY ONLY SUIT. (MUSIC. Listen. come with me. son.. You’ll get a life. it’s only going to get worse . and now with these computers and credit cards coming in. FRANK JUNIOR Would I get a badge? HANRATTY Even better. Mister Hanratty.) SONG: (STUCK TOGETHER) STRANGE BUT TRUE HANRATTY STOP YOUR SOBBIN' KID.) FRANK JUNIOR Thanks. FRANK JUNIOR At the FBI? HANRATTY We need you’re know how. You do your time.. WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT I'D SHARE THIS DANCE WITH YOU LOOKS LIKE WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER WHICH IS STRANGE BUT TRUE. . (Pause. You’ll come work for the Bureau. swiftly embraces Hanratty. FRANK JUNIOR So how do we end this? HANRATTY Your way. FRANK JUNIOR But why would you want to help me? HANRATTY (Pause. Frank.
FRANK JUNIOR Agent Hanratty turned out to be as good as his word. CHERYL ANN He never paid me back. THANK YOUR PUBLIC WHILE YOU'RE STILL IN YOUR PRIME. HANRATTY TELL MISTER RIPLEY AT "BELIEVE IT OR NOT" HANRATTY + FRANK JUNIOR THE SHOW IS OVER AND HE'S ALL THAT I GOT. Cheryl Ann. HANRATTY AND FRANK JUNIOR 'TIL THEN WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER WHICH IS STRANGE BUT TRUE. THEY WON'T BE SEEING YOU FOR QUITE A LONG TIME. CAROL Woo! Woo! FRANK JUNIOR I set up my own security company and would pay back every bad check I passed. FRANK JUNIOR Carl and I became good friends. YOU MUST ADMIT I GAVE YOU QUITE THE RUN. HANRATTY Frank was sentenced to fifteen years in prison but was released after seven for good behavior. Let it go. I studied. (Frank Junior turns to us. and he even was the godfather to my kids.) HANRATTY Keep your promise.100 FRANK JUNIOR (wipes his eyes. MISTER TORTOISE—HERE'S YOUR RABBIT STEW. HANRATTY Not now. musters a smile) GUESS YOU CAUGHT ME. HANRATTY FRANK. How'd you cheat on the bar exam? FRANK JUNIOR I didn't cheat. HANRATTY No! I hate you. KID WE'LL SEE WHAT GOOD BEHAVIOR CAN DO. . HANRATTY Brenda married a real doctor and lived happily ever after. LOOKS LIKE WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER WHICH IS STRANGE BUT TRUE. HANRATTY HARD TO BELIEVE IT BUT WE'RE TYING THE KNOT TODAY FRANK JUNIOR THAT'S OKAY. AND AFTER YOU'VE PAID FOR YOUR LIFE OF CRIME WELL. NOW THE CHASE IS DONE.
FRANK JUNIOR YOUR JUNIOR PARTNER CAME THROUGH. HANRATTY A SIMPLE CASE OF MONKEY SEE. MONKEY DO. FRANK JUNIOR + HANRATTY BUT NOW A NEW DUET HAS MADE ITS DEBUT AND NOW WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER COMPANY OH YEAH! BOTH IN AND OUT OF LUCK TOGETHER! COMPANY OH YEAH! BOTH I'M GLAD WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER WHICH IS STRANGE BUT TRUE. HANRATTY LET'S MAKE SOME BUTTER OUT OF CREAM! (Hanratty and Frank Jr. exit though the house. YOU'D HAVE SAID "NO WAY!" I ALMOST MAKE IT LOOK LIKE CRIME DOES PAY THERE'S LOTS OF FOLKS THAT I MISS EVERYDAY (He looks around at all the faces from his past—the full company. MISTER LAWYER. I THINK I'M GONNA BREAK WITH TRADITION. EDGAR HOOVER. MISTER TWO-ON-THE-AISLE— YOU NEVER CAN PREDICT WHEN FORTUNE MAY SMILE.) THE END.) FRANK JUNIOR + HANRATTY+FULL COMPANY HEY. HANRATTY IN FACT.101 (MUSIC BUILDS as the full company enters. and Hanratty ad lib) FRANK JUNIOR IF YOU HAD READ THIS. "BABY I'VE GONE FISHIN'!" (Frank Jr. FRANK JUNIOR I'M GLAD TO BE ON YOUR TEAM. AND TELL J. .
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