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ACT ONE Prologue A gate area of a large, ultra- modern airport—circa 1960s. Lights fade up. We hear the sounds of JETS taking off and landing. ANNOUNCEMENTS murmur throughout. Courtesy phones, pages for passengers, calls for specific airlines and flights, mentioning long-gone airlines like TWA, Braniff, and Pan Am. VOICE OVER ANNOUNCEMENT Welcome to Miami Dade International Airport. Braniff flight 663 service to New York’s Idlewild Airport is now boarding. PASSENGERS hurry back and forth, to and from their flights. FRANK ABAGNALE, JR. has been sitting on an airport chair reading the newspaper. FBI Agents enter, revolvers drawn: BRANTON and DOLLAR. They mistakenly pursue an airline passenger running for his flight. BRANTON There he is! Hold it right there! DOLLAR Stop or I'll shoot! AGENT CARL HANRATTY enters from Stage Right. As with the other agents, we don't see much beneath the fedora. HANRATTY Hold your fire! Where the heck is he? He’s not giving us the slip this time. Frank Junior, carrying a suitcase, rises from the chair and quickly runs up the aisle. Hanratty looks off stage, then notices Frank Junior exiting in the house. Frank Junior, still carrying his suitcase, quickly reverses course and jumps up onto the stage with AGENT COD on his tail. The Agents chase him. Wait a minute, Men. There he goes! That’s him! Goddangit that’s him!
BRANTON Don't move! DOLLAR I'll shoot! I will shoot! Frank Junior hesitates ... COD And he's a really bad shot. ... then takes off again. Hanratty gives chase. HANRATTY Dammit! COD (overlapping) There. There he is! BRANTON (overlapping) No you don’t! DOLLAR (overlapping) I'm gonna shoot! A deafening SHOT stops everyone in their tracks. The Passengers all stop and stare. FRANK, JR. drops the suitcase which falls open, exposing its contents. Large quantities of cash. HANRATTY For the love of—Dollar, what does "hold your fire" mean where you come from? DOLLAR
I fired a warning shot, Agent Hanratty! COD
(squints at ceiling)
I think you shot down a plane. FRANK JUNIOR That was close! You could hurt someone. HANRATTY Come on, Frank. I'd rather take you alive than dead. FRANK JUNIOR Can I at least make a statement first? HANRATTY At the airport? No. FRANK JUNIOR I'm sure these people want to know why you're shooting at me.
(Looks to them: they kind of do)
I think they should know who I am and what I did and why I did it.
HANRATTY This is one of your tricks. Men! (Jerks his head to the Agents, who close in) You're not going to fool me again, Frank, like you did in that hotel room in L.A. You're not putting on a show for these people. FRANK JUNIOR A show? (MUSIC: A figure from the orchestra—we'll call it our STINGER. Frank Junior looks at us and smiles.) A show. (Frank Junior snaps his fingers. MUSIC CONTINUES with a huge timpani roll. A sudden reveal shows a lavish backdrop and tuxedoed ORCHESTRA on a jazzy bandstand.) We need some lights. (He waves his arm. Lights change.) COD The hell is he doing? FRANK JUNIOR A studio audience. HANRATTY Misdirection. It's a con. That's the technique. FRANK JUNIOR Cameras. And the Frank Abagnale Junior Orchestra! (He waves to the Orchestra, the CONDUCTOR acknowledges, and launches into the song proper.) HANRATTY Frank, what the hell are you doing? Branton, Cod, get everyone out of here. (As the other agents hurry the passengers to the exits, Hanratty edges upstage to check out the orchestra, keeping his gun on Frank Junior ... ... who crosses downstage to us.) FRANK JUNIOR My name is Frank William Abagnale ... Junior. This is my story. HANRATTY These people have musical instruments.
) SONG: LIVE IN LIVING COLOR FRANK JUNIOR LIVE IN LIVING COLOR LET ME TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE YES. all under assumed names. when that shot rang out. Frank. FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty.) HANRATTY All right. HANRATTY You think your life is a T. I saw it all! Well I mean. special? FRANK JUNIOR I know.V. Like on a television special or something. and tries not to be too unsettled. Hanratty comes downstage and notices us. Mister Hanratty thinks he has all the facts. (sings) I GOTTA STORY I'D LIKE TO TELL BUT I'M GONNA NEED HELP TO TELL IT WELL I GOTTA STORY ABOUT FAME AND MONEY AND IT'S GOT MORE CURVES THAN A PLAYBOY BUNNY I WANNA LIVE NOT JUST SURVIVE I WANNA TELL MY STORY LIVE AND IN LIVING COLOR! (The ENSEMBLE has entered. but only I know just how I did it. the highlights.V.. mom and dad and me. FRANK JUNIOR True story. HANRATTY Virtue has never been one of your virtues. and Hanratty finds himself surrounded by dancing bodies . practiced medicine at a top Atlanta hospital. Hanratty points the gun at Frank Junior. I flew almost five million miles as a Pan Am pilot. I'M LIVE IN LIVING COLOR SO SIT BACK AND LET ME BE YOUR T. As he does.. Now. And I did it in style. that’s enough. Modesty has never been one of my virtues. Like we used to watch.4 FRANK JUNIOR I was a millionaire twice over and half again before I was twenty-one. GUIDE! (The groove kicks in. (He sings to us. you're coming in.) ENSEMBLE (on Frank Junior's "color") LIVE IN LIVING COLOR . and worked as a prosecutor for the State of Lousiana. my whole life flashed before my eyes. I stole every nickel of it.
when he bilked twenty grand from his father's Mobil card to buy presents for girls. he had stolen almost one-point-eight million dollars..V.. + ENSEMBLE LIVE IN LIVING COLOR FRANK JUNIOR AND IT'S BROUGHT TO YOU BY ME YES IT'S LIVE IN LIVING COLOR ENSEMBLE LIVE IN LIVING COLOR FRANK JUNIOR THIS WON'T FIT IN YOUR T. FRANK JUNIOR Thank you! FRANK JR.! (speaks) Also starring my parents. and he ducks.) FRANK JUNIOR SOMETHING SPECIAL'S UP TONIGHT YES I'M FRANK JUNIOR + ENSEMBLE LIVE IN LIVING COLOR FRANK JUNIOR LIFE AIN'T LIVED IN BLACK AND WHITE! (speaks) Ladies and gentlemen." FRANK JUNIOR Oh. as Frank Junior continues. how "I like girls" becomes "I'm wanted on five continents. the Frank Abagnale Junior Singers and Dancers! (Hanratty fights his way through the Frank Abagnale Junior Singers and Dancers and speaks to us. by the time this guy was twenty years old. and fights his way out to one side. listen. Frank. plain and simple.5 (. Has been since the age of sixteen. Frank and Paula Abagnale! . When he got caught his only excuse was— FRANK JUNIOR I like girls. Tell the folks. flails. Folks.) HANRATTY Hold on. and bring in the set. you mean like the story of how Superman became Superman? HANRATTY (half beat) Your ability to pull myth from manure is truly impressive. The Ensemble dress Frank Junior for the show. HANRATTY He likes girls. He's a con man.
faithful and true Brenda Strong. FRANK SENIOR (To us) All the people in that little French village were so happy to see Americans that they decided to put on a show for us. and she starts to dance .N. Stunning and romantic. I could watch them dance all night.. and they dance off with the other couples. The men are literally holding their breath. And I turned to my buddies and I said— FRANK SENIOR + FRANK JUNIOR —I am not leaving France without that woman.) HANRATTY [continuing as needed] Frank. Cheryl Ann . PAULA I always get into trouble when I dance with you.) CHERYL ANN I'm surprised you even remembered my first name. and begin to dance together. A little village called Montrichard.6 (MUSIC CHANGES. After the war. Frank Junior watches.) My parents met in France. you no good sonofabitch— FRANK JUNIOR Thank you. (Hanratty steps in. They are mirrored by two other dancing couples. don't try to sell me [some sentimental picture of domestic bliss]— (Frank Junior plows forth as MUSIC CHANGES. Frank Senior sweeps Paula off her feet. (They dance.. Frank! . My mother was young and beautiful. beautifully..) FRANK JUNIOR When I was a kid. R. come on. So they crammed two hundred soldiers into a tiny social hall and the first person to walk on stage is your mother. FRANK JUNIOR Also starring Playboy's Playmate of the Year. I interviewed both your parents. Listen.. who's pissed. FRANK SENIOR and PAULA enter in a sweep.! (Lights on BRENDA. featuring the beautiful. sweet. My dad was a GI. Cheryl Ann! And introducing the Strong family. Something! (Lights on CHERYL ANN. with ROGER and CAROL STRONG behind her) BRENDA Hi.
Listen. I love you. FRANK JUNIOR I don’t believe you. How’d you pass the bar exam? In New Orleans? How’d you cheat the bar? FRANK JUNIOR All right Mr. In fact. Brenda. BRENDA Frank. Or whatever you're calling yourself today … wait … where am I going? (Hanratty disappears down the center elevator lift) FRANK JUNIOR WHAT'S IN A NAME? JUST WINDOW DRESSING SHOO-BEE DOO-WOP. HANRATTY Okay. BOP-BOP MIX AND MATCH ME TRY TO CATCH ME IF YOU CAN OH. BRENDA Frank. too. Now. BOP-BOP . you’re one of the stars. to himself:) FRANK JUNIOR I loved you. I think you want the rest of the story. Frank. don’tcha think? I’ll get to tell my story. You let me finish. (Hanratty has had enough. BOP-BOP JUST KEEP 'EM GUESSING SHOO-BEE DOO-WOP. HANRATTY I know the whole story – All right. wait a minute.7 FRANK JUNIOR Hi. I wouldn’t do this for anyone but you. And you’ll have a full confession. We owe each other that much. Hanratty I’ll make you a deal. will you wait for me over there? I'll let you know when it's time. I've heard all I can hear. deal. Frank. I've got this show to do and you're gonna be in it. I GOTTA STORY THAT'S STRANGE BUT TRUE ENSEMBLE SHOO-BEE DOO-WOP. And says. I don't want to hear any more.) HANRATTY All right. (Brenda exits with her parents. there’s something that still bugs me. and I’ll tell you anything. Frank Junior watches. FRANK JUNIOR You're gonna be great. BOP-BOP EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT IT'S THE CLOTHES THAT MAKE THE MAN CLOTHES THAT MAKE THE MAN PLAY THE GAME SHOO-BEE DOO-WOP.
) SONG: LIVE IN LIVING COLOR (TAG) ENSEMBLE LIVE IN LIVING COLOR TUNE ME IN AND TURN ME ON LIVE IN LIVING COLOR BLINK YOUR EYES AND I’LL BE GONE (As we complete the TRANSITION TO . YES I'M LIVE IN LIVING COLOR TUNE ME IN AND TURN ME ON. The Abagnale home.) FRANK JUNIOR Ladies and gentlemen. 1964. The ensemble break their tableaux and dance in the background as Frank Junior speaks to us — our host. and the family everyone wanted to be.8 I GOTTA STORY THAT'S STRANGE BUT TRUE SO COME FLY WITH ME FOR A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW SO COME FLY WITH ME FOR A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW I'VE GOT THE WORLD AT MY COMMAND I'VE GOT THE WORLD AT MY COMMAND AND I'LL BE YOUR ONE-MAN DISNEYLAND AND I'LL BE YOUR ONE-MAN DISNEYLAND I DON’T WANNA WAIT FOR THE COPS TO ARRIVE I WANNA TELL MY STORY LIVE AND IN LIVING COLOR LIVE IN LIVING COLOR TUNE ME IN AND TURN ME ON. our story begins on Christmas Eve. YES I'M LIVE IN LIVING COLOR BLINK YOUR EYES AND I'LL BE GONE. (MUSIC begins again. (Frank Junior goes. and the Ensemble comes forward—and set the stage for the Abagnale home. New York. The house everyone wanted. YES I'M LIVE IN LIVING COLOR BLINK YOUR EYES BLINK YOUR EYES AND I'LL BE GONE LIVE IN LIVING COLOR LIVE IN LIVING COLOR LIVE IN LIVING COLOR BLINK YOUR EYES BE GONE! SONG ENDS. New Rochelle.. A beautiful house on the best street..) .
a television set. I DO have dinner going(But she starts to dance with him. .) FRANK JUNIOR Wow Dad. is still with the television.9 Scene 1: Living Room. New Rochelle (. PAULA Frank. C’mon – dance with me. and the SINGERS fade from house speakers to the television set—they're on the show Frank Junior is watching. and a used Ford? FRANK SENIOR Can I strike a bargain or what? I left those guys with their heads spinning.one hundred percent acrylic. Frank Junior is watching a small color television set. FRANK SENIOR How about that thirteen-inch screen? FRANK JUNIOR It’s like Andy Williams is right here in our living room. FRANK SENIOR It’s the genuine spirit of real Christmas. PAULA It truly is a beautiful tree. PAULA I think I know the feeling. The Abagnale House. FRANK SENIOR It’s that Abagnale magic. PAULA But – so that I understand – you left this morning with a Cadillac and two hundred dollars and come home with a Christmas tree. Frank Jr. right there . Frank.. you're right—everything is better in color.. Frank Senior watches her.) ENSEMBLE (ON TV) LIVE IN LIVING COLOR … LIVE IN LIVING COLOR … SONG ENDS. Paula opens the Christmas Tree. and the dancers move to the background and then disappear.
FRANK JUNIOR Thanks. But if they didn't give you the loan. They have all the money. FRANK JUNIOR Oh.) Fifty checks. Dad. A house. why did you — FRANK SENIOR One day you’re gonna want something from these people. PAULA (pulls away) I really should see to dinner. FRANK SENIOR And who are we? . it’s just a technicality.) FRANK JUNIOR That’s great you got the loan. I put twenty-five dollars in it so you can buy whatever you want. (hands him a checkbook. The second mouse wouldn't quit. (She goes. He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into butter … FRANK SENIOR AND FRANK JUNIOR … and he climbed out. There’s always another move to make. use the loan to tide the business over until you can get the Caddy back. FRANK JUNIOR But Dad. It’s all a dance – swap the Caddy for the Ford. use the mortgage to leverage the bank loan. FRANK SENIOR Listen to me. use the extra cash to pay the mortgage. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned. Don't tell your mother. Dad. Two little mice fell into a bucket of cream. investigation.S. Frankie. a car. FRANK JUNIOR You didn’t – but I thought you saidFRANK SENIOR I got something better. And this means from this day on. They won't loan to anyone under I. I didn’t get the loan.10 FRANK SENIOR Nothing’s too good for my boy or my bride. didn’t those guys know you were getting away with something? FRANK SENIOR People only know what you tell them. You remember this story. FRANK SENIOR Shh. The account's in your name.R. FRANK JUNIOR But why didn't they give you the loan? FRANK SENIOR Ah. you're in their little club.
my dad—Frank . you know what ? We're going downtown to buy you your Christmas present. (MUSIC. mesmerized. It's the uniform. A brand new Botany 500 suit. staring at the pinstripes. FRANK JUNIOR Dad.. Senior! FRANK SENIOR WHEN A PILOT WALKS ONTO THE PLANE ALL THE PASSENGERS SMILE AND RELAX DO THEY SEE HE’S STILL TIGHT FROM THAT PARTY LAST NIGHT AND THE BACK TO BACK “JACKS”? STEWED TO THE MAX FRANK SENIOR NO!. WHAT THEY SEE IS THE UNIFORM HOW IT FITS TO A TEE LIKE THAT VISITING TEAM THAT THE YANKEES WILL CREAM THE PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT THEY SEE BEAUTIFUL GIRLS OOOOOOOH SMILE AND RELAX SMILE AND RELAX . FRANK SENIOR Frankie. We're gonna be fine.) The other teams just stand there. The Dodgers were so scared they had to leave town. SONG: THE PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT THEY SEE FRANK SENIOR WHEN YOUR MOTHER WALKED INTO THAT DANCEHALL IN MONTRICHARD WHAT DID SHE SEE? THROUGH THE HAZE OF CHAMPAGNE DID SHE NOTICE MY BRAIN OR MY COLLEGE DEGREE? KID. that’s too expensive. pausing as needed) Ladies and gentlemen. FRANK SENIOR Damn straight we are.11 FRANK JUNIOR We're the second mouse.. Abagnale . the smartest man I know. WHAT SHE SAW … WAS THE UNIFORM! THROUGH THE DIRT AND DEBRIS YEAH.) FRANK JUNIOR (to us. As a matter of fact. THOSE LADIES GAVE THANKS TO US VISITING YANKS CAUSE THE PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT THEY SEE (Frank Senior is joined by a bevy of BEAUTIFUL GIRLS in Yankee pinstripes. Frank Junior comes downstage: our host. The man with all the moves. It's not Joe Pepitone... You know why the Yankees win all the time? It's not the Mick.
MUSIC CONTINUES as we CONTINUE TO:) . Paula comes to Frank Junior. Jack goes to Frank Senior and shakes his hand. Jack Barnes and Paula enter.) IF YOU WANNA BE A SOMEONE YOU CAN’T LOOK LIKE A BUM A BOOK’S JUDGED BY IT’S COVER THAT’S THE FIRST RULE OF THUMB I WANNA SEE YA TAKE OFF STRAIGHT TO THE TOP FLOOR START DRESSIN’ TO IMPRESS ‘EM SON YOU'LL STROLL IN THE FRONT DOOR A KID IN A MAN’S CANDY STORE … (As Frank Junior speaks to us. not quite separately.12 (The Beautiful Girls surround Frank Junior. and he emerges dressed smartly in his prep-school blazer.
You do what you have to do. Frank Junior heads to school. PAULA My brave little soldier. what's the Flash without his suit? Anyway. PAULA Well.? (The two students LAUGH and move past him. the Jock accidentally-on-purpose bumping Frank Junior and sending him stumbling.) FRANK JUNIOR Shouldn’t you boys be in class? Depechez-vous. (STINGER.I.) . Dad'll get back on his feet and I'll be back at St.B. He looks like a . I mean. you don't have to wear your school blazer. kisses him on the cheek. Jack Barnes. You aren't afraid of anything... Frank Junior looks at us and smiles. FRANK JUNIOR I’ll be fine. like a substitute teacher or somethin'. Francis before you know it. you do look handsome. FRANK JUNIOR I'm used to it. Mom. Comme tu es beau! (She sighs. You're going to public school now. Frank Senior and Paula are with a dour female PRINCIPAL.13 Scene 2: New Rochelle High School FRANK JUNIOR Everybody loved my dad. called him— FRANK JUNIOR AND JACK BARNES —the most popular businessman in New Rochelle! PAULA Frankie. He is met by a JOCK and a NERD) FRANK JUNIOR 'Scuse me. (Lights change. public school is only for now. And. Vite. Vite. Vite. and goes.) JOCK Yeah. the head of the Chamber of Commerce. is this room 17 French? NERD (checking his outfit) Who wants to know? The F.
Glaser's French class. FRANK SENIOR You must have dropped it.) FRANK SENIOR French fry factory?! (Finally. who slowly meets his gaze.) FRANK SENIOR AND FRANK JUNIOR YEAH. and Mrs. and was planning a class field trip to a French Fry Factory in Trenton. Looks at his son. Mister Abagnale. As Frank Senior shakes hands with the Principal. PRINCIPAL Well.) PAULA Frankie … Je ne peux pas. Frank Senior takes her place. Lecturing the students. And Frank Junior LAUGHS. who exits opposite. (But she takes it. WE’RE GONNA BE AT RINGSIDE LIFE WILL BE BETTER THAN BEFORE FOR TWO KIDS IN A MAN’S CANDY STORE .) PAULA Frank. outside the Principal's office.14 PRINCIPAL OWINGS Mr. PAULA He what? PRINCIPAL Your son has been pretending to be a substitute teacher.) PAULA You have to forgive him. There's been so much change. Looks like it was made for you. I found this necklace on the floor. (Frank Junior waits. putting on his hat. Abagnale. please. giving out homework. I regret to inform you that for the past week. Frank Senior LAUGHS. Frank has been teaching Mrs. on my way in from the outer office. (She shakes her head again and goes. Paula goes to Frank Junior. Is it yours? (He pulls a locket necklace from his pocket. nervously. We lost our house— FRANK SENIOR (smoothly cuts her off) Principal Owings. Your son held three teacher-parent conferences yesterday. WE’RE GONNA HIT THE HIGH-LIFE WE’VE ONLY JUST BEGUN WE’RE GONNA BE TOGETHER FRANK SENIOR AND SON DINE AT “THE LATIN QUARTER” A NIGHTCAP AT “TOOTS SHOR” YEAH.
(Frank Senior claps his son on the shoulder and goes. Frank Junior moves to follow, but sees BETTY.) FRANK JUNIOR Hi. BETTY Hi. Is the Principal in her office? I need to give her this note from my mother, excusing me from sixth period. FRANK JUNIOR You should fold it. It's more believable that way. BETTY No, this really is a note from my mother. FRANK JUNIOR What's the first thing you do when your mother hands you a note? You fold it up and put it in your pocket. (A half-beat, and Betty folds the note.) BETTY Thanks. I'm Betty. FRANK JUNIOR Frank. BETTY Nice jacket. (She plants an impulsive kiss on his cheek, and goes. He swoons and sings.) WHAT THEY SEE IS THE UNIFORM JUST ASK ONE MAITRE D’ OR A TAILOR IN PARIS GO ASK ROGER MARIS! THE PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT THEY SEE (Frank Junior dances his way home as we TRANSITION TO ...)
Scene 3: The Abagnale Apartment, Downtown New Rochelle (... and as Frank Junior dances right on in the door, his mother and father dance on opposite. But with a turn, in an instant, we see that it's not his father. It's JACK BARNES. And Frank Junior sees this, and they see him. MUSIC STOPS suddenly.) SONG ENDS. FRANK JUNIOR Mom, Dad I met this girl – PAULA Frankie! You remember your father's friend, Jack Barnes? FRANK JUNIOR Hello. JACK BARNES Frank. Good to see you. Paula … I … Take care. (He grabs his hat and goes. Frank Junior is silent.) PAULA Are you hungry, Frankie? I'll make you a sandwich. (Frank Junior doesn't move.) Frankie? (No answer.) You're not going to tell him. FRANK JUNIOR No. PAULA That's right. There's nothing to tell. I'm going out for a few hours to visit some old friends from the tennis club, and when I get back, we'll all have dinner together, right? (Frank Junior rubs his eyes. Paula gets her pocketbook.) Do you need some money, Frankie? A few dollars to buy some comic books? Here, take two. (She stuffs two dollar bills in his pants pocket. He doesn’t acknowledge her. Then …) FRANK JUNIOR Two hundred soldiers in that tiny social hall, and you ... you ... PAULA I was sixteen years old when I met your father. I was your age. How could I know what I wanted? Dites donc?
FRANK JUNIOR You wanted him. PAULA I did, once. And I wanted to get out of France. And I wanted to have a child. (She reaches for him, but he pulls away.) (considers him, then) It was a long time ago, Frankie. Believe me, one day you'll look at yourself, and you won't be who you were. (He turns away from her and walks into his bedroom: piles of comic books, a "Flash" bedspread. He takes his jacket off and tosses it.) SONG: SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN FRANK JUNIOR THERE’S NO PHONE BOOTH THERE’S NO CAPE THERE’S NO STEVE MCQUEEN TO HELP ME MAKE MY GREAT ESCAPE HOW CAN I FLY LIKE A HERO IN THE SKY BE A SHOOTING STAR OUT IN THE STRATOSPHERE WHERE’S “THE SHADOW”? HE MIGHT KNOW WHERE’S THAT SEARCHLIGHT IN THE SKY TO POINT THE WAY TO GO? THROUGH SOME NEW CLOUD TO DISAPPEAR INTO THE CROWD THOUGH THE FUTURE’S DARK THERE’S ONE THING CRYSTAL CLEAR THAT THERE’S NO HOME HERE … (MUSIC CONTINUES as we TRANSITION TO:)
It's going to be okay. and the judge. New Rochelle (The Family Court Judge appears with Frank Senior and Paula . but it's better if the family does. Frankie.. We just need a name. and as the bedroom goes away. PAULA Nobody's fighting. Look at me.) JUDGE Son.. Doesn't tell me why. (The adults continue. overlapping. DON’T JUMP THE TRACK TRY A NEW GAME AND PRAY THAT I CAN WIN . Do what you have to do.) FRANK JUNIOR (to us) One day the principal pulls me out of class and drives me to the Courthouse. just give them a name. FRANK JUNIOR RULES OF THE ROAD SAY DON’T LOOK BACK EYES STRAIGHT AHEAD.18 Scene 4: Family Court and Train Station. with their lawyers. and this will all be over. I’ve got no room to move here. JUDGE It can get very expensive.. FRANK JUNIOR THIS KINDA NOISE JUST MAKES ME WANNA SHOUT PAULA My brave little soldier. people fighting over their children. (. Nobody's fighting. Frankie. FRANK JUNIOR IT’S LIKE A GAME WHERE EITHER TEAM I LOSE FRANK SENIOR Frankie. as Frank Junior sings to us.. Frank Junior comes downstage for that "break-in-a-ballad" confessional moment.) FRANK JUNIOR SO MANY VOICES TELLING ME TO CHOOSE JUDGE The court can decide these things. Your mother or your father. I walk in and I see my parents up front. listen to me. FRANK JUNIOR I’D LIKE TO BUY A ONE-WAY TICKET OUT FRANK SENIOR I’m sorry.
because I don't plan on coming back— (The Railroad Agent takes the money from Frank Junior. And I take my money back from the ticket seller and I make it disappear — (He does. Misdirection. The Family Court disappears. Frank Junior turns and runs. Maintain eye contact. MUSIC CHANGES. who turns to go. He holds out a couple of crumpled bills) FRANK JUNIOR One for Grand Central Station.19 'CAUSE I JUST DON'T FEEL AT HOME IN MINE SO I'LL SLIP NOW INTO SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN (And as the music hits a driving groove. and waiting for my change. and I'm not proud of this but my instincts took over. using a nifty bit of sleight-of-hand. so now I have four dollars which is enough for my one way ticket to Manhattan. or in this case my money back. but:) RAILROAD AGENT Hold it! FRANK JUNIOR What? .) — and I spin some tale about meeting my grandmother at Idlewild while I ask for my change. RAILROAD AGENT Round trip is five dollars. One way is three. and he gives me two dollars. He looks at us.) COMMUTERS HOO-HOO. Lights change. without pause. You have two. I just knew I had to get out. MUSIC CHANGES. so I didn't really know what I was doing. please. COMMUTERS hurrying to and fro. HOO HOO (The RAILROAD AGENT appars and Frank Junior approaches.) FRANK JUNIOR Okay. and speaks rapidly. Frank is on the street. Keep talking. isolating Frank Junior. even though he doesn't owe me any change — RAILROAD AGENT Wait. (The Railroad Agent holds up the bills. as the Railroad Agent continues as if Frank Junior is still just in the scene with him. and in his confusion he thinks he owes me change. what? FRANK JUNIOR — but I keep talking.
I had to find a way out. but you do what you have to do. I'm not proud of it. SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN. (MUSIC CONTINUES as we TRANSITION TO:) OO-OO-OO FULL OF TEARS COMMUTERS RUN DOWN THE STREET RUN OUT OF TOWN RUN FROM THE BOOKS 'CAUSE IT'S ALL BEEN A FAKE AH AH AH AH TODAY HOO-HOO HOO-HOO AH-AH AH-AH AH-AH AH-AH SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN. SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN.20 RAILROAD AGENT Your ticket. Track Two.. (MUSIC STARTS TO BUILD as he continues. SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN.) They wanted me to choose . and I chose.. Like I said. SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN. SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN. the ten-fifteen to New York City! FRANK JUNIOR RUN DOWN THE STREET RUN OUT OF TOWN I'M GONNA RUN FROM THE HOME TEAM AND NEVER TOUCH DOWN RUN FROM THE BOOKS 'CAUSE IT'S ALL BEEN A FAKE I'M GONNA RUN FROM THE CHOICES THAT I DON'T WANNA MAKE SCHOOL'S NOT OUT BUT I CAN'T WAIT IT'S THE PERFECT TIME TO GRADUATE TODAY I'VE GOTTA RUN AWAY NOW I'VE GOT TO RUN AWAY I KNOW THEY'LL SEE THE TRUTH WHEN I MOVE ON THEY'LL NEED EACH OTHER MUCH MORE ONCE I'M GONE AND WHEN I'M FLUSH AND HE'S BACK ON HIS FEET I'LL PICK HIM UP AND RIDE DOWN EASY STREET NO TIME TO CRY FOR ALL THE YEARS A RUSTY GAS TANK FULL OF TEARS GETS YOU NOWHERE NOT THE PLACES I WANT IN AND I JUST DON'T FEEL AT HOME IN MINE SO I'LL SLIP NOW INTO SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN. and this is the way I found. . FRANK JUNIOR Thanks. The New Haven line.
Manhattan (On applause from SOMEONE ELSE’S SKIN. (Three ATTRACTIVE ASSISTANTS bring in the products as Frank describes them. With a pair of scissors you can cut and paste names from other documents.21 Scene 5: Chase Bank. ladies and gentlemen. a word from our sponsors! (He gestures. you're ten years older. and you're officially Frank Taylor Junior. Frank Junior comes downstage to speak to us. and three ATTRACTIVE ASSISTANTS come dancing in. A TOUCH OF GLUE THREE ASSISTANTS AND YOU’LL BE GOOD TO GO FRANK JUNIOR BIG THANKS TO ALL OUR SPONSORS! INDIA INK ELMER’S GLUE . A FOURTH ATTRACTIVE ASSISTANT holds Frank’s briefcase for him) Swiss Army Penknives can help you alter the age on your driver's license. And if Frank Taylor wears out his welcome— ELMER’S GLUE ASSISTANT (with Elmer's Glue) You can be Frank Adams! ATTRACTIVE ASSISTANT #2 Or Frank Conners. A DAB. Because a sixteen-year-old cashing a check or opening an account by himself— SWISS ARMY KNIFE ASSISTANT (with Swiss Army knife) —gets a lot of questions! FRANK JUNIOR Higgins brand Genuine Original India Ink flows easily through your pen or brush—a few dabs on your license. ATTRACTIVE ASSISTANT #1 Or William Taylor. INDIA INK ASSISTANT (with bottle of ink) And no one can tell the difference! FRANK JUNIOR Elmer's Glue is perfect for the craftsperson of any age who needs to change their name. SWISS ARMY KNIFE A SNIP.) These great products can help you survive your first few weeks in New York with just fifty checks and a driver's license.) FRANK JUNIOR And now.
B. Mister Taylor. We can’t cash this.) DIANE. (He escorts Hanratty toward the wings. He opened accounts all over the tri-state area. He didn’t know that his clock was ticking. BANK TELLER I'm sorry.) . HANRATTY (shows us) Seems someone put out an F. BANK TELLER I'm sorry. But Hanratty stays and keeps speaking to us. we can hold on to this— (Frank Junior drops the necklace in his valise. (Frank Junior is before DIANE.) HANRATTY He didn’t know his bad checks were on my desk. thanks for stopping by. the Bank Teller at a counter. FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty. Diane. He didn’t know his mother had filed a missing-persons report. in his charming fashion.I. Mister Taylor. slides the check off the counter. grocery store. bulletin. is the fact that in just a few short months this guy had soaked just about every branch of Chase Manhattan in the five boroughs and in northern New Jersey. and I think it might be yours— HANRATTY It's not. HANRATTY (Hanratty comes downstage to us.22 THREE ASSISTANTS NOW. Hanratty enters from Stage Right) HANRATTY I know. and dropped rubber in just about every hotel. He was the Johnny Appleseed of fraud. I found this on the sidewalk out front. we have new restrictions on cashing checks. Very good. backs away. Mister Hanratty. and dry cleaners from here to Hoboken. Very entertaining.) What he’s leaving out folks. BANK TELLER If you'd like to leave us your home phone number. then leaves him to join a BANK TELLER. FRANK JUNIOR Say. FRANK JUNIOR Ladies and Gentlemen! It’s our very special guest star. RIGHT BACK TO THE SHOW! (As the Assistants dance off Stage Left. I know. we’re going to be seeing him of him in just a bit but right now there’s a much more exciting turn of events.
For an appointment. Mister Hanratty and his team were trying to find my trail. Right now.) HANRATTY He’s going to try six more banks—same story. (MUSIC. We were on him. (comes down to talk to us) Trying to put it all together.) FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty’s jumping ahead.23 FRANK JUNIOR You know. He and I don’t even meet face to face for months yet.) LIVE IN LIVING COLOR (Reprise) FRANK JUNIOR AND THOUGH I’M LIVE IN LIVING COLOR AT THE FBI THE SHOW’S IN BLACK AND WHITE. (Hanratty freezes. While I was producing more rubber than a tire factory. onto Hanratty and into the open elevator traps. Frank Junior sings. (He backs away. but Hanratty stops him. With my stockbroker. but I'm late. (He drops a colorful check. he’s still stuck at his desk. and a load of black and white checks rain down from the flies. I bought a little printing press and I made my own. . thank you. when my first fifty checks ran out. See. FRANK JUNIOR Then why didn’t he catch me? HANRATTY Only a matter of time.
And. I know that this job is not as exciting as fieldwork. HANRATTY Listen — We do the job because it's the job and as long as I'm Interim Second Assistant Special Agent in Charge of the Bank Fraud and Forgery Subdivision. Office The elevators begin to lift the FBI office into view. Dollar. Hanratty. Dollar. the next time we tell you to move file boxes. And cars. COD. Thanksgiving or no Thanksgiving. BRANTON Come on. Hanratty. I like guns.) DOLLAR He got you there. and it’s an experience I see no reason to repeat. and see how that works out for you. so we are going to sort it out. and you stack them ten high. and DOLLAR are drowning in checks and we hear:) COD Dollar! What have you done! BRANTON Yeah.B. It’s Thanksgiving. HANRATTY (shudders) How about Shelley Winters? She’s loud and fast. go home for lunch one of these days. we have three or four major-league paperhangers somewhere in this mess. could you make sure you’re under them when they fall? DOLLAR Whoops! HANRATTY Leave the kid alone. or counter-intelligence— . Come on. (The men laugh. BRANTON That’s easy for you to say. basically.24 Scene 6: F. even if it means we drop dead at our desks and our fossilized bones are discovered in some archeological dig in the twenty-first century. HANRATTY Low blow. I requested something where I could use my gun. unannounced. Anything loud or fast. Some of us still have wives. Agents BRANTON. North Atlantic region — thank you very much — we will do the job until it’s done. COD C’mon Hanratty it’s 4:45. BRANTON Shouldn’t you be in another department? Like maybe daycare? DOLLAR I was auditing background checks for the Library of Congress and I asked for a transfer. by the way. Don’t you remember how they razzed you? HANRATTY Yes. We always give the rookies a hard time.I. Agent Branton. Now listen.
and that’s the sad thing. And that means there must be thousands more checks just like this out there – more bum checks than a Prague prison! (A second load of checks drops. a check that was cashed in New York gets rerouted all the way to San Francisco and it’s weeks before the bank that cashed it knows they’re bad. and you will. And the day you catch him. the day you slap those cuffs on him and watch them haul him away (music under) —oh. But he does. DOLLAR You mean those numbers at the bottom the check actually mean something? HANRATTY They mean that Frank Taylor and Frank Williams and William Franklin are the same person. He’s changing the MICR numbers on the checks. Jiminy Christmas. DOLLAR Micker? Micker Mouse? COD Who the hell is Micker Mouse? HANRATTY MICR! MICR! M-I-C-R. COD + DOLLAR Nooooo! HANRATTY And that means no Christmas for you MICR mouse. BRANTON I know you think so. HANRATTY —and maybe nobody knows you're down here.) BRANTON. This is very.25 COD Or a long. Frank Junior returns and the men sweep the checks onto the lifts as we TRANSITION TO:) . Oh yeah. Look here. (MUSIC. (looks at the other check) And Frank Williams too. He knows. very interesting. slow death. Frank Taylor must've got his hands on a MICR encoder.) And no Hanukah either. Magnetic Ink Character Recognition. They mean that he can stay in one place and write bad checks for weeks and weeks. If you change a zero-two to a one-two. he does. (He points at Cod. now this is interesting (more music under). HANRATTY Look at these two. The one you're after.
My clock was ticking. I went walking past the Tudor Hotel on 42nd Street.. and destiny came walking out those revolving doors. the elevators begin to sink out of sight. But then one day. march in through the door.26 Scene 7: Outside the Tudor Hotel. (MUSIC. I was a crook. (He takes her measure.. He almost collides with a beautiful young Pan Am STEWARDESS emerging.) STEWARDESS #3 (LINDY) Oh! Excuse me. satchels in hand. Manhattan. nothing more.. He bobs and weaves as they move through. FRANK JUNIOR "We all. there .. that should keep Mister Hanratty busy for a while.. all in the same Pan Am outfit.) STEWARDESS #1 (CINDY) That’s quite all right. . travel bags in hand. isn't it? STEWARDESS #2 (MINDY) We all have evening flights. Now I was really good . . FRANK JUNIOR Kinda late to be checking out. I'd always wanted to be good at something. at passing bad checks. and the shelf life was getting shorter.?" (A parade of STEWARDESSES. and in the Skies (As soon as the deck is clear.) STEWARDESS #2 (MINDY) Excuse me.) FRANK JUNIOR Oh!! Excuse me. And Frank Junior ) FRANK JUNIOR Well. (She continues past him.. But unfortunately he was right. I—excuse me—whoops!—hello. (to us) Are you seeing this? (STEWARDESS #3 bumps him on her way by .) FRANK JUNIOR Oh.. agape. as Frank watches. A SECOND STEWARDESS comes through the door.
Um.) MINDY JUST LEFT WISCONSIN WHERE THERE'S CHEESE ENOUGH TO START THIS RAT RACE CINDY BUT THANKS TO THE BROTHERS WRIGHT CINDY + MINDY WE DON'T KNOW WHERE WE'LL SLEEP TONIGHT . I've been training as a pilot. Miss Cindy. Nellie. telling Frank Junior how it is. Is Pan Am hiring? STEWARDESS #1 (CINDY) Aren't you sweet. Kelly. Cindy. "The Jet Set. Tell me—is flying everything it's cracked up to be? STEWARDESS #1 (CINDY) The only thing better than flying—is what happens on the ground.27 FRANK JUNIOR No . Mindy. STINGER. the other Stewardesses join her.. Sherrie.) FRANK JUNIOR (to us.. She pulls another. then at her. and Jane. excuse me. Karrie. It's the wrong one. Lindy.. Tell him Cindy sent you. (Frank Junior steps downstage: our host." SONG: THE JET SET CINDY WOKE UP IN BROOKLYN WITH A FROWN UPON MY FACE (One by one. VP of personnel.. Who are you all waiting for? THE STEWARDESSES The pilots. (She pulls a business card from her bust. Shellie. He smiles at us. Here. then the third time's the charm:) Here it is. (Frank Junior blinks. Terri. I like to call them . our host:) Ladies and gentlemen. miss . FRANK JUNIOR Thank you. Talk to Jerry Taylor..) Excuse me..
I'M A BIRD IN THE SKIES MINDY AND TOMORROW WHEN I RISE LINDY I'LL WAKE UP IN PARIS WITH A NEW LOVE IN MY HEART JANE OR MAYBE GERMANY WITH THAT BRAND NEW PET I MET IN STUTTGART KELLIE SKIES THE LIMIT. "I've been on the same equipment all week. FRANK JUNIOR And what about those I. Another Stewardess opens her satchel. sir! Can I get a picture? PAN EXEC Oh. mostly commuters. now a high school kid) Yes sir. like this one here from Pan Am.D. For instance. It's an airline personnel badge. and he takes out a camera and a notebook.28 CINDY YEAH. jumpin' puddles for the weak and weary?" PAN AM EXECUTIVE Means they've been flying the same plane. . FRANK JUNIOR Thank you for your time. sure. A PAN AM EXECUTIVE enters. I want to know everything there is to know about being a Pan Am pilot. badges that I've seen pilots wear? PAN AM EXEC Every pilot has to have it with him at all times. what does it mean when one pilot says to another pilot.) PAN AM EXECUTIVE So you're the kid writing the article for the school paper? FRANK JUNIOR (turns to him. TIME TO PLAY I'LL PUT DOWN ROOTS SOME OTHER DAY SHELLIE NO NEED TO BE A LONELY JOE STEWARDESSES THE JET-SET IS THE SHELLIE ONLY WAY TO GO (One Stewardess pulls a pair of horn-rimmed glasses from her satchel and puts them on Frank Junior. short flights. Frank Black from Monroe High School.
) FRANK JUNIOR Got it! (The Executive goes and the Stewardesses are back.) STEWARDESSES WOULD’JA LIKE NEW MUSIC AND MYSTERY EACH AND EVERYDAY LOSE THE SAME OLD MUSIC AND HIST’RY MAKE A NEW FRIEND THEN FLY AWAY (One Stewardess brings Frank Junior an in-flight cart with familiar sponsor products: Penknife. NEAR OR FAR FEELS TWICE AS GOOD AS WHERE YOU ARE WHEN YOU’RE SICK OF THE STATUS QUO THE JET-SET IS THE ONLY WAY TO GO … (Frank Junior holds up his completed badge.29 (Frank Junior points the camera right at his ID badge. scissors.) STEWARDESSES (CONT'D) AND … WAKE UP IN TEXAS WHERE THEY TREAT THEIR WOMEN RIGHT AND THEN TRY HOLLYWOOD WHERE THE STARS GET LIT OUT IN BROAD DAYLIGHT ANY CITY. TAILOR Awfully young to be a pilot. Frank holds up a blank piece of paper. India ink.) FRANK JUNIOR My Pan Am pilot's badge! How cool is that? A TAILOR enters. aren't ya? FRANK JUNIOR I get that a lot. glue. and goes to work making a Pan Am Badge. measuring tape and note pad in hand. FLASH. TAILOR Why so nervous? FRANK JUNIOR How would you feel if you lost your uniform your first week on the job? . I'm just a co-pilot.
(?) S— (But before he gets the next number out.) ALL PILOTS WOULD’JA LIKE A SLEIGH RIDE. FRANK JUNIOR That’s why Pan Am will always be around. and Frank Junior pulls it back. they'll take it out of your next paycheck. finished. ONE-WAY TRIP TO SPLITZVILLE ALL PILOTS SWEDISH. the Tailor nods. I hear you. A stunning sight. FRANK JUNIOR Can I write you a check? TAILOR No—no checks. Just need your employee number. to count spaces for numbers:) FRANK JUNIOR Sure.. UP AND AWAY . Six. JUST STAY HOME BUT. That'll be one forty-three ninety-seven.) . (Frank Junior and the Tailor go as the PILOTS enter with Stewardesses.. his uniform at last perfect. A HAYRIDE? THEN KIDDO. no cash.. IF YOU WANT JET-SET THEN GET SET TO LEAVE BEHIND KANSAS THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE ROME ALL STEWARDESSES WAKE UP IN RIO HAVE YOUR COFFEE IN BRAZIL EVERYONE WHEN REAL LIFE GETS YOU DOWN TAKE A FAR-OUT. One. SO FLY! (Frank Junior joins them. Frank tries to read it upside down.(?) Four (?) Five. It's. cap and aviators on.30 TAILOR Ah.. Four . GREEK OR JAPANESE ALL STEWARDESSES A STEWARDESS IS TRAINED TO PLEASE ALL SO IF YOU’VE GOT WHAT IT TAKES BELOW WELL THEN FLY THIS BIRD LIKE CUPID’S BOW CAUSE THE JET SET'S JUST A HOLIDAY YEAH THE JET SET GOES UP. Three. (He pulls out a form and begins to fill it out.) TAILOR Great! I'll bill Pan Am.
(MUSIC begins again. . WE KNOW A JOINT IN OLD BOMBAY ALL SO HANG ON TIGHT LET’S LOOP DE LOOP IT’S TIME TO FLY THIS CHICKEN COOP SO PACK UP YOUR SUITCASE CHECK YOUR WORRIES AT THE GATE COME OUT AND PLAY BOY CRUISE THE WORLD TO FIND YOUR PERFECT PLAYMATE FRANK JUNIOR THINGS LOOK BETTER FROM ABOVE SO BUCKLE UP. As the others exit. Frank comes down center to take the elevator down. The doors open and off steps Cheryl Ann – getting off the elevator of the St.31 FRANK JUNIOR RIGHT DOWN TO IT'LY FOR LA BELLA FEMINA JUMP IN A FOUNTAIN STEWARDESSES WOO! ALL FOR A BIG DOSE OF LA DOLCE VITA FRANK JUNIOR IF YOUR TASTES RUN MORE RISQUÉ TWO STEWARDESSES WELL THEN. NEXT STOP IS LOVE ALL FROM TIMBUKTU TO TOKYO FROM MOZAMBIQUE TO MEXICO THE JET SET IS THE ONLY WAY TO GO FRANK JUNIOR BABBADA BOP BOOP BAH BADOOBA DOO-OH! SONG ENDS. Regis Hotel.
Regis Hotel. What's a night worth? With me? FRANK JUNIOR I — gosh. FRANK JUNIOR Don’t I know you from somewhere? CHERYL ANN Maybe. FRANK JUNIOR Sure — you're that model! Cheryl Ann—something—in the Plaza. Captain. she starts removing her outer garments.. in your room? FRANK JUNIOR I think I do.32 Scene 8: The St. Um. Are you going to make me an offer? FRANK JUNIOR I'm sorry — an offer for what? CHERYL ANN A man like you can buy anything he wants. Three hundred? (She closes her coat and heads back to the elevator.) CHERYL ANN So. Manhattan CHERYL ANN Nice uniform. Cheryl.. CHERYL ANN Frank. I really don't know. a few years ago.) Five hundred? (She gets on the elevator) A thousand dollars? (She stops the elevator doors from closing) CHERYL ANN One thousand dollars. (As they head up the stairs.. Could I get your autograph? CHERYL ANN Do you have a pen . I was on the cover of Seventeen . . FRANK JUNIOR Call me Frank..
m. CHERYL ANN You think this hotel is going to cash a thousand dollar check at three a. and I'll give you four hundred dollars.. It's a cashier's check...? FRANK JUNIOR (pulls one out) They've done it for me before. CHERYL ANN (inspecting it) Endorse it over to me. CHERYL ANN You give me the check . FRANK JUNIOR Even better. She hands him the check and the cash as they disappear together down the elevator lift) .33 FRANK JUNIOR I have to cash a check. (MUSIC. (pulling cash from her bust) .. FRANK JUNIOR It's for fourteen hundred.
This job is about just one guy. Or the wine. HANRATTY We’re getting closer to this guy and you need to bone up on some of the skills you’ve let slide sitting in that basement sipping peppermint schnapps out of your coffee cup.) BRANTON What the hell! DOLLAR (entering) You know. No. He’s out there somewhere. Years I tell you. He is taunting me. He will. And if our UnSub thinks he can hide there he’s sorely mistaken. But they always make a mistake. Hanratty takes aim and fires. ) BRANTON Hanratty. The last bad checks came from Liechtenstein. VA (As Frank Junior leaves with Cheryl Ann. Believe it. William Franklin.34 Scene 9: A Firing Range. He's Old School. One day he's in Dallas. BRANTON It’s just forgery. it's very disappointing. why the hell'd you drag us out to Quantico? This guy’s a pen and ink man. COD He’s gone global. Hanratty. You want to arrest him or hire him? HANRATTY I see him in my sleep. He doesn’t even know you exist. It’s not about punching the clock waiting for retirement. He probably doesn’t even carry a gun. Dollar! This job is not about shooting at people. I didn't feel a thing. Hanratty and the men enter.a. A paperhanger. Sixtyish. FBI Training Ground. He's making the rules. HANRATTY He will.a. Where the hell is Liechtenstein? HANRATTY The principality of Liechtenstein is a landlocked alpine country in Western Europe bordered by Switzerland to the west and south and Austria to the east. There’s no way the Bureau’s gonna give us travel money for Liechtenwhatsit. He's been honing his craft for years. (Bullets WHIZ and DING and they duck for cover. salt-and-pepper. BRANTON But we can't fix a location on him. It's the overconfidence. Rome. No. tall. Frank Taylor a. if shooting people is anything like target practice. a virtuoso. Hanratty. Or the women. HANRATTY Judas Priest. Quantico. boys. COD Jesus. Barcelona. Frank Williams a. HANRATTY This guy's just a forger like Mickey Mantle is just a hitter.k.k. He's not playing the game. or sneaking off for quickies with the secretaries on three. Hanratty. The next he's in Stuttgart. . COD C’mon. He's a true talent. he is toying with me.
Carl Hanratty.." THEY REPLY AND THOUGH I THOUGHT I HATED THEM AND SCREAMED WITH ALL MY MIGHT THE NEXT TIME THAT I HAD A CHOICE GEE WHIZ! I DID WHAT'S RIGHT NO.35 BRANTON Okay. Stay cool. (Frank Junior appears .) SONG: BREAKING ALL THE RULES HANRATTY IT STARTS VERY EARLY ONCE THE BABY TOYS ARE GONE A KID ON THE PLAYGROUND HAS TO CHOOSE WHAT SIDE HE'S ON IT'S THE BULLIES OR THE GOOD GUYS BOY. I NEVER SNUCK A DRINK I NEVER STOLE A PACK OF "KOOLS" 'CAUSE THE GAME AIN'T WORTH WINNING IF YOU'RE BREAKING ALL THE RULES . BRANTON Hanratty. HANRATTY I will not stay cool.. (MUSIC. THERE IS NO MIDDLE GROUND THOUGH HOODLUMS TRY TO BLUR THE LINE AND TWIST THE TRUTH AROUND THEN THEY CALL THEMSELVES A WINNER BUT THEY'RE SELF-DECEIVING FOOLS 'CAUSE THE GAME AIN'T WORTH WINNING IF YOU'RE BREAKING ALL THE RULES THE LAW IS LAYED UPON US WHEN AS KIDS WE FIRST ASK "WHY?" OUR PARENTS SET THE RULES WHEN "'CAUSE I SAID SO. I only wanted to play cops.) I think I was born this way... (.. okay.) FRANK JUNIOR Ladies and gentlemen . were you always like this? HANRATTY Long as I can remember. Other kids wanted to play cops and robbers. I have never been cool and I don’t intend to start now. and disappears..
36 HANRATTY OR ELSE WE’RE LIVING IN THE WILD. WILD WEST DON’T BREAK THE RULES GOD’S KEEPING SCORE AND YOU DON’T WANNA FAIL THAT TEST DON’T BREAK THE RULES YOU THUMB YOUR NOSE RIGHT AT THE LIFE FOR WHICH I STRIVE BUT THOSE RULES. THOSE LAWS KEEP US ALIVE. WILD WEST DON’T BREAK THE RULES GOD’S KEEPING SCORE AND YOU DON’T WANNA FAIL THAT TEST AND BABY … I GUESS … EVERY SUNDAY IN OUR SCHOOLS THOSE RULES. MEN DON’T BREAK THE RULES THEY THINK THEY SEE THEMSELVES DON’TCHA KNOW THEY’RE NOT PAYING BACK POW!!! YOU CAN’T GIVE AWAY THOSE JEWELS DON’T BREAK THE RULES . BOYS. SINAI CRIED AND BEGGED ON THEIR BEHALF OH LORD! HE ALMOST DROPPED THOSE TABLETS WHEN HE SAW THAT GOLDEN CALF WHAT? NOW WE TEACH THE TEN COMMANDMENTS EVERY SUNDAY IN OUR SCHOOLS ‘CAUSE THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING IF YOU’RE BREAKING ALL THE RULES I GUESS THE CONSTITUTION. TO SOME IS TOO COMPLEX THEY THINK OUR FOUNDING FATHERS FOUGHT SO THEY COULD FORGE SOME CHECKS THEY SEE THEMSELVES AS ROBIN HOOD STEALING FROM THE RICH NOT PAYING BACK THE THINGS THEY TAKE WELL PAYBACK IS A BITCH ‘CAUSE THE WORLD AIN’T SHERWOOD FOREST YOU CAN’T GIVE AWAY THOSE JEWELS AND THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING IF YOU’RE BREAKING ALL THE RULES OR ELSE WE’RE LIVING IN THE WILD. IT STARTED BACK WITH MOSES WHEN HE LED AROUND THE JEWS THE JEWS AND CLIMBED WAY UP THAT MOUNTAIN TO PICK UP GOD’S DAILY NEWS TELL ME THE NEWS HE SCHLEPPED UP OLD MT. THOSE LAWS KEEP US ALIVE.
THOSE LAWS KEEP US ALIVE! US ALIVE! OOH-OOH WOP OOH-OOH BOP! OOH-OOH YOU’RE AN OUTLAW THROUGH AND THROUGH AND ONE DAY I’LL CATCH YOU SO. DOO-WOP! .37 DON’T BREAK THE RULES YOU THUMB YOUR NOSE RIGHT AT THE LIFE FOR WHICH I STRIVE BUT THOSE RULES. SELL SOME POT IT’S ALL THE SAME TO ME YOU’RE EITHER GUILTY OR YOU’RE NOT DOO-WOP. WOW! IF WE ALL DID WHAT WE WANTED EVERY TIME WE FELT THE URGE THE WORLD WOULD BE IN TOTAL CHAOS IT’S ALREADY ON THE VERGE ‘CAUSE. BABY THOSE RULES THOSE LAWS THE WORLD WOULD BE IN TOTAL CHAOS BOP! ‘CAUSE WITHOUT THEM WE’RE JUST MULES THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING DON’T BREAK THE RULES BUT THOSE RULES. GO SNEAK INTO A MOVIE RUN A RED LIGHT. WILD WEST DON’T BREAK THE RULES GOD’S KEEPING SCORE AND YOU DON’T WANNA FAIL THAT TEST DON’T BREAK THE RULES YOU THUMB YOUR NOSE AT THE LIFE FOR WHICH I STRIVE BUT THOSE RULES THOSE LAWS THOSE LAWS THOSE RULES THOSE LAWS THOSE LAWS. THOSE LAWS KEEP US ALIVE! WHEN YOU STEAL SOMEBODY’S MONEY SCREW HIS DAUGHTER OR HIS WIFE YOU DON’T THINK OF REPERCUSSIONS AS YOU TAP DANCE THROUGH YOUR LIFE THOUGH YOU SMILE LIKE YOU’RE A HERO YOU’RE AN OUTLAW BUT THE ODDS ARE IN MY FAVOR. IT’S LAWS THAT KEEP US HUMAN ‘CAUSE WITHOUT THEM WE’RE JUST MULES AND THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING I SAY THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING OH OH OH THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING IF YOU’RE BREAKING ALL THE RULES OR ELSE WE’RE LIVING IN THE WILD. GO SNEAK DOO-WOP. MAN AND ONE DAY I’LL CATCH YOU SO. DOO-WOP.
jumpin’ puddles for the weak and weary.. with a flyer in hand. . STEWARDESS First class is full. scans it.) COD Hanratty. (The FBI Agents scatter.. Come on aboard. Been on the same equipment all week. but I’ve got the jump seat open..38 KEEP US ALIVE! KEEP US ALIVE! BOP! SONG ENDS.. flying all over the world . kid. and Cod follows him in. BRANTON Yeah . I'm gonna regret this.) STEWARDESS Good morning. (Hanratty enters. Crime doesn’t take a holiday. (Hanratty grabs and scans it. HANRATTY All right. Frank Junior enters with his suitcase.) HANRATTY + FRANK JUNIOR (overlapping. Branton and Dollar enter opposite. First Officer. Are you my deadhead today? FRANK JUNIOR Yes. not in unison) The Skywayman.) BRANTON You’re dangerous. FRANK JUNIOR Thanks! STEWARDESS Be sure to watch out for that Skywayman.. posing as an airline pilot .. opened and folded to an article. FRANK JUNIOR Skywayman? (The Stewardess hands him a newspaper. Frank Jr. ma’am.. All the airlines are after him . A lovely STEWARDESS enters with a clipboard. Who the hell taught you to shoot? DOLLAR My daddy taught me how to turn a mister into a missus at a hundred yards. I don’t really want to know about that. but look at this field bulletin.. back to work.
HANRATTY Maybe . boys. he drops rubber everywhere he goes. FRANK JUNIOR Like a superhero. I'll have to look out for him. COD Maybe he forged some credentials? FRANK JUNIOR The Skywayman. She follows. FRANK JUNIOR Crazy world we live in.. Hanratty and the boys exit and we go right to the Latin Quarter. Cod. HANRATTY Maybe he's a master con artist. and commissary on the Eastern seaboard. (Frank Junior gives the paper back to the Hotel Clerk and exits. All right..39 STEWARDESS They don't know how he does it. We just became front page news. (MUSIC. We're checking every airport hotel.) HANRATTY Nice work.) . motel. cafe.
It's all a matter of timing. On top of the world. in uniform. FRANK JUNIOR I heard about it in Paris. FRANK SENIOR My son the birdman. . something else. Frankie. Where're you flying that plane tonight? FRANK JUNIOR Well. Frank Junior. So I just shut the doors myself. The goddamn government knows that. FRANK SENIOR Look at us. I'm sort of just a copilot.. I don't really fly. they hit you when you're down. Called their bluff. I thought it might be just the place to take you when I got back to the States. Sooner or later. Frank. FROM PAREE A MAN CAN MAKE PASSES OR USE X RAY GLASSES BUT! PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT HE’LL SEE! SONG ENDS. I went by the store today. FRANK JUNIOR Yeah. they'll forget about me.40 Scene 10: The Latin Quarter. FRANK JUNIOR Dad. waits at their table. with the girls dressed in pinstripes. I wasn't going to let them take it from me. (Frank Senior makes his way through the beautiful girls—who give him a little love.. FRANK SENIOR I had to close the store for a while.) FRANK SENIOR This place . They have a guy to give towels to the guy who gives you towels. New York City (A floor show is just finishing. FRANK SENIOR Hollywood.) SONG: THE PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT THEY SEE (REPRISE) SHOWGIRLS UNDERNEATH IS MY UNIFORM ALL IN SILK. FRANK SENIOR Where? FRANK JUNIOR Los Angeles.
. Frankie. And six weeks later. snaps his fingers twice. . But I won't let her go without a fight. FRANK SENIOR That's fine. (Back to Frank Junior. (He raises his hand.) FRANK SENIOR What's this? FRANK JUNIOR Let's open up the store. Dad. and dinner in San Francisco. Get things back the way they were. lunch in Miami. You got your own worries. she was my wife. FRANK JUNIOR But maybe if Mom saw — FRANK SENIOR Do I look like I need your help? (A moment. Frankie.. FRANK JUNIOR She could be again. Take good care of yourself. everything's different now. FRANK JUNIOR If she saw you had the store back — FRANK SENIOR Two hundred soldiers in that tiny social hall. FRANK SENIOR And here I thought you were just a copilot. FRANK JUNIOR I can be anything you need me to be. I didn't speak a word of French. She's a formidable woman. to bartender. believe me. Dad.) … and strike up an orchestra. Frank Sr. I got this great job. I can snap my fingers . FRANK SENIOR Keep it. I make lots of money. MUSIC. always has been. FRANK SENIOR I don't know. I can help out now. I can have breakfast in Rome. watching her dance. There's plenty more where this came from. FRANK JUNIOR Listen.) Don't worry about your mom and me. Because I learned from the best.41 (Frank Junior slides a thick envelope across the table. Pay off the Feds. She's stubborn.) Double Bourbon. FRANK JUNIOR I'm fine.
Dad.. TAKE A SEAT TWO LITTLE MICE OF GREAT RENOWN FELL IN SOME MILK AND ONE PROCEEDED TO DROWN THE OTHER ONE’S STILL THE TOAST OF THE TOWN CAUSE HE MADE BUTTER OUTTA CREAM HE LOOKED AROUND. FRANK SENIOR Nah—you’re doing great. HE MADE COFFEE OUT OF BEANS .42 SONG: BUTTER OUTTA CREAM FRANK JUNIOR REMEMBER THAT STORY I LEARNED AT YOUR FEET WELL NOW IT’S MY TURN. FRANK JUNIOR Really? FRANK SENIOR. HE’S THE BIG CHEESE UP AT “LAND O’ LAKES” HE’S LIVING PROOF THAT POP ALL IT TAKES IS A SCHEME SO IF YOU LAND IN THE GUTTER JUST MAKE BUTTER OUT OF CREAM FRANK JUNIOR Your turn. THERE WAS A COCKROACH IN BRAZIL GOT DRUNK AT THE LOCAL COFFEE MILL HE THOUGHT HIS TIME WAS UP UNTIL HE MADE COFFEE OUTTA BEANS WHEN HE CAME TO HE HEARD SUCH A SOUND MUCH TO HIS SHOCK WHEN HE LOOKED AROUND HE HAD BEEN SCOOPED AND WAS ABOUT TO BE GROUND SO. It’s Frank and Dean. It’s not a solo act. FRANK JUNIOR This is a duet.. you know . DEDUCED HIS PLIGHT SAID “THIS IS NO WAY TO SPEND A SATURDAY NIGHT!” BUT HE HAD THE STYLE TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT SO HE MADE BUTTER OUTTA CREAM HE KICKED HIS LEGS UP HE TOSSED AND TURNED SO NOT TO END UP A GHOST HE DID THE HOKEY-POKEY TILL THE CREAM WAS CHURNED THEN BABY. FRANK SENIOR Well. there is one you haven’t told you. HE WALKED RIGHT OUT AND BUTTERED HIS TOAST NOW HE’S ON TOP FOR GOODNESS SAKES YEAH.
43 FRANK SENIOR (CONT’D) HE MARCHED TO THE SOUTH AND HE STOMPED TO THE NORTH HE HAD TO RACE AGAINST FATE HE DID THE CUCARACHA WHILE THOSE TEARS POURED FORTH THEN SEÑOR. THINGS BEGAN TO PERCOLATE HE HELD HIS BREATH AND SWAM TO THE TOP HE BORROWED BEANS FROM HIS MOM AND POP AND OPENED UP HIS OWN COFFEE SHOP OUT IN QUEENS! WHEN HIS LIGHTS WERE ALMOST OFF HE JUST MADE COFFEE OUTTA BEANS FRANK JUNIOR Let’s bring this one home. Son! BOTH SO THINK OF THOSE TWO WHEN LIFE’S THE PITS FRANK SENIOR “THE BUG” FRANK JUNIOR AND “THE MOUSE” BOTH AT THE END OF THEIR WITS THEY KNEW THE KEY TO LIFE IS THAT ITS WHA’ CHA DREAM SO IF LEMONS CLOG YOUR SINK UP DON’T JUST STAND AROUND AND SCREAM SPIKE SOME LEMONADE AND DRINK UP AND MAKE BUTTER OUT OF CREAM FRANK SENIOR JUST MAKE BUTTER OUT OF CREAM FRANK JUNIOR MAKE SOME BUTTER OUT OF CREAM FRANK SENIOR I HEAR WHAT YOU’RE SAYING. SON I’LL MAKE BUTTER OUT OF CREAM! SONG ENDS . Dad! FRANK SENIOR All right.
He likes comic books. lifting cushions. . (They begin to pore over the room. left us a goldmine. then picks up the wastebasket. get license plate numbers on every car in the lot. when you're dead. What's his next move? What goes on in the mind of an obsessive loner? BRANTON Why don't you tell us? (Hanratty glares at Branton. Dollar. COD Looks like he left in a hurry.44 Scene 11: Idlewild Airport Motel. and Dollar inspect a much-used motel room: comic books. Come on. COD Oh my god! It's Hanratty! HANRATTY That's funny. then at Hanratty. I'll process the room.) BRANTON Hanaratty! The manager says he just checked out three hours ago. Room 135 (Hanratty. I'll make a note to laugh later. Branton appears at the door. go canvas the other guests. Impress me. HANRATTY Okay fellows. junk-food containers. COD (holds up a pizza box and a jar of peanut butter) He lives on junk food. people. HANRATTY (sighs) Branton. Cod. inspecting furniture. and dumps the contents on the floor. opening drawers. No forwarding. crumpled papers. (The other agents look at the trash. Cod.) Mister Taylor. real name unknown.) HANRATTY A man's secrets are in his trash. Was here for almost a week. Cod. DOLLAR (holds up a comic book) The Flash. BRANTON (holds up a Playboy) He has a breast fetish. That's very funny.) BRANTON I'll take your word for it.
no. The Flash? Peanut butter? Maybe he's got a kid? (Hanratty goes to work. on the phone.) HANRATTY No. Paula looks at Jack and shakes her head.45 COD (as the men leave) Right. Elsewhere. Jack Barnes and Paula. Something doesn't jive here. in another hotel room. Hanratty. SONG: THE MAN INSIDE THE CLUES HANRATTY A COMIC BOOK A MISS JULY A MATCHBOOK FROM "THE FLAME" SOME CHEWING GUM A MISMATCHED PAIR OF SHOES A LETTER HOME THAT WASN’T MAILED A CHECK WITHOUT A NAME YEAH. A RING. I know you're in here somewhere. PAULA Frankie. picking through the garbage. are you there? (Frank Junior abruptly hangs up. Mister Taylor.) PAULA Hello? Hello? Frankie is that you? JACK BARNES Is it him again? PAULA Frankie? JACK BARNES Paula. Lights fade on all three.) HANRATTY A BOBBY PIN TWO BASEBALL CARDS SOME DAY-OLD CHINESE FOOD TWO TICKET STUBS THE RED SOX ALWAYS LOSE . Say. Paula on the phone. no.) All right. THEY'LL BE MY GUIDE TO THE MAN INSIDE THE CLUES (Lights on Frank Junior. give me the phone. in night clothes. You ever look at your own garbage? (The other agents go.
in yet another hotel room. If he were any more pale. BRANTON He could use the sun. I know it's late—I just flew in from Ireland. DOLLAR Fantastic. (reads) "As a Pan Am pilot. (Lights fade on him. Hanratty moves to follow. sure. Have you been there? It's so beautiful—oh. BRANTON The two of who? HANRATTY Who knows? But we know he's going to Los Angeles. my family flies for free. but stops. yeah. I'd like to place an order. THEY'RE JUST CRUMBS THOSE CRUMBS LOOK LIKE A FIVE-COURSE MEAL TO ME (The other agents return.) HANRATTY DO NOT DISTURB IS ON THE DOOR THE MAID. SHE NEVER COMES HE LOCKED THE DOOR BUT I DON'T NEED A KEY THERE'S ONLY GARBAGE ON THE FLOOR TO OTHERS. And so are we.) BRANTON Anything? HANRATTY (hands him a crumpled sheet of paper) Pan Am stationery. The two of you should come out to Los Angeles with me. Maybe then --" (looks up) Unfinished.) FRANK JUNIOR Hi Miss Room Service. (The men exit. I'll hold. and returns to the room. COD (as he and Branton turn to go) Now that's the best idea he's had yet. he'd be transparent.) .46 A VALENTINE THAT WASN’T SENT A SCENT TO SET THE MOOD WHEN I TAKE A RIDE WITH THE MAN INSIDE THE CLUES (Lights on Frank Junior.
..47 HANRATTY I'VE LOOKED INTO SO MANY LIVES BUT NEVER AT MY OWN THE TRAIL I LEFT IS SUCH A DAMN CLICHÉ THE LONELY WIFE. BY THE MAN INSIDE THE CLUES THE MAN INSIDE THE CLUES. SONG ENDS.. .. THE HOUSE FOR SALE A MILLION NIGHTS ALONE TO WISH YOU HAD THE THINGS YOU THREW AWAY . LIKE A FRONT DOOR KEY A HOME COOKED MEAL THE HAPPY BRIDE AND GROOM THEN LIFE KICKS IN AND MAKES YOU PAY YOUR DUES AND THEN YOU FIND YOU'RE BY YOURSELF IN A SINGLE MOTEL ROOM THAT'S BEEN OCCUPIED .
From the bathroom. HANRATTY You mean he’s still here? MOTEL MANAGER (hesitates) Two-oh-one.) HANRATTY F. listening to the radio. Hanratty and men enter the patio with the MOTEL MANAGER.) Hanratty bursts in through the door . I don’t want my customers harassed. Hanratty slowly moves in. Dollar eagerly follows suit.B. looking over a bureau and table filled with the implements of forgery. MOTEL MANAGER Good..I. in other directions. a FLUSH.B.) HANRATTY F. (Hanratty draws his gun. HANRATTY There won’t be any trouble. We see Frank. to room 201. you’ll get one. RADIO ANNOUNCEMENT KRLA … It’s currently a summer sixty five degrees here in Los Angeles … MOTEL MANAGER He wrote three checks. . (Hanratty proceeds. I was gonna deposit this one today.) Put it away. Junior laying on his bed in his room. gun drawn. I’ll buy you all a Good Humor bar. The rest exit. glumly. cautiously. Hanratty points his gun. HANRATTY Relax. but the room is empty. MOTEL MANAGER You said there wouldn’t be any trouble.. mister.! (.. too.48 Scene 12: A Motel (Patio and Room) in Los Angeles. (Dollar complies. I don’t want any trouble. They all cleared. I’ll just take this check and be on my way.) If you’re good little boys..! Come out with your hands on your head. You guys back me up. HANRATTY I take the lead. Dollar takes the exit.I.
I wasn’t expecting Secret Service on this. you’re late. The name's Allen. then in a motel outside D. FRANK JUNIOR You think the F.I. HANRATTY Let me see some identification. Put your hands on your head or I’ll shoot. What’s your name. HANRATTY What are you talking about? Keep your hands on your head. HANRATTY Keep your hands where I can see them.49 (Frank Junior calmly emerges from the bathroom. buddy. no. can you believe that? HANRATTY Don’t move. FRANK JUNIOR Here. We almost had him in New York. FRANK JUNIORS Can’t be too careful these days. black suit. Your man just tried to climb out the window—my partner has him in custody downstairs. . anyway? HANRATTY Hanratty. take my whole wallet.) FRANK JUNIOR He’s got about two hundred checks here—a gallon of India ink. Carl Hanratty. Would you mind taking that gun out of my face? It makes me nervous. are the only ones tracking this guy? He’s been dabbling in government checks.C. FRANK JUNIOR Relax. He's in a different. (Frank Junior ignores the gun pointed at him and walks to the desk.B. too? HANRATTY No. Barry Allen. Nods at Hanratty. drafting glue—he even makes little payroll envelopes addressed to himself from Pan Am.) FRANK JUNIOR Guy's got a MICR encoder. We’ve been following a paper trail for months. FRANK JUNIOR Don’t worry about it. United States Secret Service. FRANK JUNIOR You mind if I see some ID. (tosses him wallet) You want my gun. near Dulles airport. Carl? HANRATTY Sure.
turns) What? HANRATTY Your wallet. I trust you. some maid comes in here and starts making the bed. FRANK JUNIOR Hang on to it till I come back for the rest of the stuff. ten seconds later you would have been shot.) Here. sorry. Carl. HANRATTY Yeah? I had him figured for an older guy. (Frank Junior picks up the MICR machine and heads for the door. Sit tight a minute while I get some of this evidence downstairs. let me ask you something. FRANK JUNIOR He is pretty damn old. What does he look like? FRANK JUNIOR He's a handsome son of a bitch. HANRATTY You shouldn’t.50 HANRATTY Sure. I’m just a little … (Hanratty indicates nerves with his hands. FRANK JUNIOR (freezes. HANRATTY Okay. then stop laughing. HANRATTY Wait. I asked for that one! FRANK JUNIOR Just do me a favor. Frank Junior goes to a pitcher of water and pours himself a drink — and only we can see he's trembling. That was a joke. He must be your age at least. HANRATTY Sure. HANRATTY That’s okay. (They laugh. (Hanratty hands Frank Junior his business card) FRANK JUNIOR Tough luck.) Hey. I hate when that happens. .) FRANK JUNIOR You know. Five minutes earlier and you would have landed yourself a pretty good collar. I don’t want anyway walking through my crime scene. Right here.
Barry Allen from the Secret Service. I love it. . I don't know why.) Mister Hanratty and his men caught the next plane back to DC. sir. DOLLAR Barry Allen? The Flash? HANRATTY What? DOLLAR Barry Allen is the alter ego of the Flash. Frank Williams. Jesus Christ. (He stops. (Frank Junior smiles at him and goes. Frank Junior in a spot. To us. it happens to the best of us. (unable to contain himself) We got him! (He does a little victory dance. Not to me. Keep talking. DOLLAR We all make mistakes. Carl. Frank Fuck! (The other three agents rush into the room.51 FRANK JUNIOR You got me. (Lights. I caught the one after that. Thinks a minute.. I guess I always wanted to see our nation's capital at Christmas.. Maintain eye contact. Frank Black.) I love my job.) FRANK JUNIOR That was close. wasn't it? Misdirection. And I . (He shrugs.) COD Where is he? HANRATTY I had him. HANRATTY Not to me. I love it.) Frank Taylor. He was right there! BRANTON What are you talking about? HANRATTY I let him convince me he was someone else. Fingers through the ID cards within.) HANRATTY Nice guy. I love it. HANRATTY Oh. The best time of the year. Opens the wallet.
BRANTON You want me to stay? HANRATTY No.) BRANTON Hanratty. It's Christmas.52 Scene 13: A Hotel Room and the FBI Building. He's poring over documents with a loupe.) HANRATTY This is Hanratty.) (The Stewardesses and Pilots dance off as we TRANISTION TO Hanratty's office. (checks his watch without looking up) It's not Christmas Eve. both Washington.) PARTYGOERS ANGELS SING. You've got kids. DC SONG: CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR (PARTY VERSION) (The Stewardesses and Pilots party as Frank Junior looks on.) . honey? CINDY You look pooped! MINDY You need a good long layover. BRANTON Merry Christmas. come on.) LINDY What’s the matter. (Frank Junior struggles to extricate himself and get offstage to get his letter jacket on. FRANK JUNIOR I'm just going to get some air. Hanratty (He goes. (Lights on Frank Junior at a pay phone. Hanratty's phone RINGS. It's Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas. Go home. Branton enters. HANRATTY You're wrong. He picks up. THE SOUND’S SUBLIME LISTEN TO THOSE CHURCH BELLS CHIME CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR (A few of the Stewardesses approach Frank Junior. You're not going to redeem yourself with the boys upstairs by having a miserable holiday.
HANRATTY Who is this? FRANK JUNIOR I’ve been trying to track you down. HANRATTY Then tell me something: how did you know I wouldn’t look in your wallet? FRANK JUNIOR I didn’t. Just like Vegas—the house always wins. CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR FRANK JUNIOR SOME SUGAR PLUMS I HAVEN’T KISSED BUT MISTLETOE I MUST RESIST CAUSE I’M ON ST. Secret Service! What do you want? FRANK JUNIOR I want to apologize for what happened out in Los Angeles. you know that. you don't feel sorry for me. don’t you? One way or another. FRANK JUNIOR People only know what you tell them. It’s Christmas. Maybe I didn’t pull the trigger but I knew. I’m sorry if I made a fool out of you. Merry Christmas. Carl. HANRATTY You’re gonna get caught. FRANK JUNIOR Carl. HANRATTY Yeah? Screw you. CARL’S MOST WANTED LIST . The fact is. SONG: MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR HANRATTY YEAH. HANRATTY Barry Allen.53 FRANK JUNIOR Hello. I thought maybe you had a family? HANRATTY No. FRANK JUNIOR I didn’t think I’d get you in. No family. I knew it was you. HANRATTY Goddamn it. FRANK JUNIOR Me either. I did. DON’TCHA LOVE THE YULETIDE FUN THERE’S JOY AND CHEER FOR EVERYONE I WAIT FOR SANTA WITH A GUN YES.
Wait a minute. IF TOMORROW SANTA’S FLOWN THE TREE IS DOWN AND YOU’RE ALONE I'M ALWAYS HERE.) HANRATTY. FRANK JR. You didn’t call me to apologize. Frank Junior covers the mouthpiece and turns to us. PAULA AND THERE’S A HOME WHERE YOU CAN’T GO AND THERE’S A LIFE THAT’S FULL OF LOVE YOU USED TO KNOW HANRATTY FOR ME IT’S TRUE FRANK SENIOR BUT KID.) HANRATTY SO. While Hanratty waits on the other end of the phone.54 BOTH YES. CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR (Lights on Frank Senior and Paula. NOT YOU PAULA CAUSE YOUR FAMILY’S HERE FRANK SENIOR & PAULA YEAH. did you? FRANK JUNIOR What do you mean? HANRATTY You’ve got no one else to talk to. FRANK SR. RIGHT BY THE PHONE FRANK JUNIOR & HANRATTY YES CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR HANRATTY Wait a minute. FRANK JUNIOR (half beat) I have to go.) . HANRATTY Frank! Wait! (Frank Junior almost hangs up the phone. separately. But stops. THEY’RE STILL YOURS TO HOLD IF YOU … FRANK SENIOR & PAULA & HANRATTY COME IN FROM THE COLD (Lights fade on Frank Senior and Paula.
It was a lonely life. FRANK..) But right now .55 FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty was right.) I’LL CALL YOU SOON.) FRANK JUNIOR I'm still here. (He sings.. I HOPE WE’LL MEET AGAIN LIKE WHEN YOU’RE SERVING EIGHT TO TEN BOTH YES. But I was about to meet someone. (to us) He’s a kid. BUT WHO KNOWS WHEN HANRATTY AND. dreaming. and she was gonna change everything. Frank Junior jumps off the stage and disappears up the aisle of the theatre. HANRATTY Sooner or later you'll get tired of running. FRANK JUNIOR Look out the window. SONG ENDS. HANRATTY No I won't. END OF ACT ONE .) HANRATTY (to himself) He’s a kid. Frank Junior turns back to the phone. CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR (Hanratty sees Frank Junior in the pay phone booth. FRANK JUNIOR Sooner or later you'll get tired of chasing me.. She stops and looks in our direction. HANRATTY Why? FRANK JUNIOR Just do it.. Tonight . Everything. HANRATTY Frank? (Brenda fades. (Lights on Brenda.
(He pulls out a sheet of paper. so it was time for me to lay low for a while. we see Hanratty and his three men. We know he's a kid. drinks in hand. men. Riverbend would be written up in Playboy as the address for swinging singles.. No more cons. and I'd wrung out every bank in the Northeast. He waves. live off my savings. huddled in a hallway. My career as a pilot was pretty much done. The men follow. DOLLAR (voice over) How long will that take? HANRATTY As long as it takes. The last agent stays behind. DC (As the Entre' Acte ends. no more high living.. whipping off his fedora and RayBans to reveal .. Georgia. which just keeps coming. no more lies.56 ACT TWO Scene 1: The FBI Building. . Frank Junior.. (Hanratty exits. it's simple. Let's go.) We just go to each address and ask to see a family photo. We find out who's responsible for the kid. I just had to keep a low profile. a real nice complex. the perfect place to keep things quiet. I think that's gonna take a while. a few years later.) ALL PARTY DOCTORS + NURSES Woo-hoo! FRANK JUNIOR Of course. I pulled a list from the mainframe. So we check out every runaway teen and missing student in the tri-state area over the past three years.) FRANK JUNIOR Good luck with that! Poor Agent Hanratty.) HANRATTY Look. (The PARTY DOCTOR approaches Frank Junior as we CONTINUE TO:) . Washington. But for right now. the long list trailing behind him. (PARTY DOCTORS and NURSES enter at a stumbling run. full of professionals. I moved to the Riverbend Apartments in Atlanta.
(The NURSES seduce Frank Junior into the medical profession—dressing him as a doctor in the process.. ARE YOU ON CALL? I'M NOT FEELING SO WELL AT ALL I KEPT THINKING ABOUT YA AS I COULD NOT SLEEP A WINK LAST NIGHT NURSE I TOSSED AND TURNED THE WHOLE NIGHT LONG KEPT FEELING LIKE SOMETHING'S WRONG I NEED A CHECKUP TO MAKE EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT . I . Be great to have you there! (He goes..) PARTY DOCTOR So. FRANK JUNIOR (works the problem) Oh. what brings you to the Riverbend complex? I thought it was just us doctors and nurses here. Well. I'll find out if there's anything open down at Atlanta General. Why do I do this every time?) PARTY DOCTOR What do you do.) SONG: DOCTOR'S ORDERS NURSE HEY DOCTOR. surgery? Orthopedics? FRANK JUNIOR Pediatrics? PARTY DOCTOR Snot-nosed little kids? You can have 'em.. Frank. The NURSES rise into view.. sexy legs first. (Frank Junior turns to us. thank you. (Frank Junior shoots us a despairing look. I'm a doctor. Frank Junior looks at them .) FRANK JUNIOR Oh. (. Listen. ) Oh yeah.57 Scene 2: The Riverbend Apartments and Atlanta General Hospital..) Ladies and gentlemen—nurses. You know..) What am I doing? I can't be a doctor. Atlanta (The PARTY DOCTOR throws an arm around him. then back to us. Why do I do this every time? (MUSIC. no.
(He snaps his fingers and a Ben Casey episode appears. What do you recommend.) BEN CASEY I think what we have here is advanced third-degree encephelomarginalia. (The Nurses leave him...) FRANK JUNIOR How am I going to get through this? Medicine? But... Do you concur.. NURSE MADE THIS APPOINTMENT NURSE AND I CLEARED YOUR AFTERNOON ALL NURSES YES. I concur." THREE NURSES AND I GOTTA GET SOME SOON . Ben Casey always made it look easy on television. Frank Junior watches as Ben Casey makes a diagnosis.L. now that I think of it. ALL NURSES LET ME TELL YA THAT NURSE MAYBE I NEVER LISTENED GOOD I NEVER DID THE THINGS I SHOULD BUT I'M READY TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS! NURSE BABY.58 ALL NURSES SO I .. standing over a patient with another doctor. We'll run every test we can. Doctor Casey? BEN CASEY Let's not jump to any conclusions.. We'll find out what's ailing you. I NEVER FELT SO BAD I NEED SOMETHING I NEVER HAD AND I'M READY . TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS! ALL NURSES OOH OOH ... NURSE NEED ME A LITTLE "T. the last one handing him a remote. son. I . doctor? OTHER DOCTOR Yes.. .C.
speaks to us) That’s gonna come in handy..) No. Doctor . Welcome aboard.. DOCTOR WANAMAKER And we also have your recommendation from Death Valley Children's Hospital. I could pick up a few books at the Emory bookstore. (Wanamaker laughs. the sight of blood makes me vomit.. seriously. FRANK JUNIOR I should mention. He's inspecting a parchment document. DOCTOR WANAMAKER All right then. the only thing open is overnight ER supervisor. READY DOCTOR'S ORDERS NURSES OOH OOH . Frank Junior stops laughing and gives us a panicked look. and you'd primarily be supervising residents and interns. and the nurses come back. But there's the little matter of a med school degree — (He's joined by DOCTOR WANAMAKER.. FRANK JUNIOR (to us) Act Two is brought to you by parchment paper. so you wouldn't get much real patient contact— FRANK JUNIOR I'll take it. DOCTOR WANAMAKER You're just the perfect candidate. (He goes. he's the head of Atlanta General. Slightly doddering.59 FRANK JUNIOR (clicks it off. calligraphy.) NURSE MAYBE I NEED YOUR REMEDY DOC. Frank Junior laughs.. READY DOCTOR'S ORDERS .) DOCTOR WANAMAKER Harvard University! Very impressive. DOCTOR WANAMAKER At the moment. Hanratty? FRANK JUNIOR He’s my mentor. and press-on-letters.. Beneath a doctor of your qualifications. And you actually brought in your diploma. IT'S AN EMERGENCY AND I'M READY TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS NURSE BABY I NEED THE ANTIDOTE YOU'RE HIDING UNDER THAT WHITE LAB COAT YES I'M READY TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS NURSES OOH OOH . Doctor Connors.
uh .. I needed the help. (Two interns enter. and pursues her... Should we set it or get a surgical consult? FRANK JUNIOR (Caseyesque—showing off for her) Let's not jump to any conclusions.. Brenda lifts the bloody sheet. I. Doctor .) NURSES OOH-OOH-OOH OOH-OOH-OOH AH-AH . And it didn’t hurt that she was the best nurse there.) BRENDA Doctor Conners! MVA. The minute I saw her. I . she was the one.. Doctor Conners.. pushing a gurney. car versus bike. BRENDA (leading him to water) Okay. lifts sheet) He’s got a bone sticking out of his leg. I knew...) FRANK JUNIOR Wait! Nurse! Not you! (He tries to follow. FRANK JUNIOR (struggling not to lose it) Yes . We'll run every test we can. but— INTERN (interrupting. she was real.. but the Sexy Nurses return to block his way. Nurse Strong..60 (BRENDA pushes her way through the passel of sexy nurses) BRENDA Doctor Conners! Doctor Conners! (Frank Junior turns and sees her and FRANK JUNIOR And there she was—in the middle of all those glamazons . concur! I concur! Just go! Go! BRENDA You heard him! Go! Go! (She ushers them out as Frank Junior recovers.
I'M GONNA BURN THAT ORCHARD DOWN SONG ENDS. CAN'T CATCH MY BREATH DOCTOR YOU GOT THE KISS OF DEATH NURSES AND I'M READY READY COME ON.. HOT DAMN NURSES OOH OOH . TAKE OUT THAT STETHOSCOPE YOU MAY BE MY ONLY HOPE SO I'M READY READY TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS ALL NURSES TALKING ‘BOUT WHAM-BAM DAMN NURSE OXYGEN PLEASE... LET'S ROCK STEADY ALL MEN NURSES AND DOCTORS AHH ... I haven’t been getting much sleep at the apartment these days... . OOH ....) BRENDA Doctor Conners? Doctor Conners? FRANK JUNIOR (wakes with a start) Oh. Frank Junior grabs some shut-eye on a gurney.61 NURSE I KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT AN APPLE A DAY TO BE THE STRONGEST GAL IN TOWN BUT IF AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY I'M GONNA BURN THAT ORCHARD DOWN! NURSE BABY DON'T STOP UNTIL I'M HEALED OOH OOH . OOH ... uh .. FOR DOCTOR'S ORDERS! WOO! (The doctors and nurses exit. LET'S ROCK STEADY ALL 'CAUSE I'M READY ... ENSEMBLE READY READY COME ON. Brenda enters. I'VE GOT BLUE CROSS AND I'VE GOT BLUE SHIELD AND I'M READY READY TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS DOCTOR'S ORDERS NURSE BABY.. I was .
BRENDA Is there anything I can do? FRANK JUNIOR You could have coffee with me. FRANK JUNIOR Hello. groaning. FRANK JUNIOR I guess I do. Oh! You mean have a cup of coffee in a social way.) Doctor? (A nurse strides through... BRENDA (half beat) Goodbye.) BRENDA Are you okay? FRANK JUNIOR Sorry . . Hello.) FRANK JUNIOR Nurse Strong! BRENDA I’m sorry.62 BRENDA Doctor Conners.. Is it me? BRENDA I’m so sorry. Pretend I’m a pilot. FRANK JUNIOR Pretend I'm not a doctor. just some bad tuna. Frank Junior takes one look and turns and clutches his stomach.at the cafeteria. (She moves to go.. dark red in translucent plastic. do you know which patient gets the O-Negative? (She holds up a blood bag. sir. BRENDA But their coffee’s worse than the tuna. Doctor Conners. They don't like us to fraternize with the doctors.) NURSE O-negative! O-negative! Who’s got the O-negative? (Brenda holds it up and the nurse grabs it. I've tried to start a conversation with you four times a day for eleven days and you’ve barely even said hello. Or an astronaut.
They’re all so confident and sure of themselves and . no one ever listens to me.. yeah.. I'll call surgery. tall. FRANK JUNIOR I’m the youngest doctor here. FRANK JUNIOR If you want them to listen. we've got a kitchen accident. (Frank Junior takes one look and starts to lose it. Act like you have confidence. Doctor Conners. BRENDA I’m just trying to do a good job. Okay? BRENDA (smiles) Okay.. BRENDA Oh. BRENDA So you’re not really a skirt-chasing party animal.. Doctor Conners. And they can't exactly find the hand . Meat slicer. and you won't be. Brenda steps up. A playboy maybe. BRENDA Good day. sir. no. sort of a part I play.. you just have to sound like you know what you're talking about. Act like you're not afraid. and pretty soon you will.) INTERN Doctor Conners..) FRANK JUNIOR See? Look at you. (Two Interns enter at a run. no. I mean—wait. I mean.) BRENDA Trauma One. BRENDA Thank you. FRANK JUNIOR You’re very serious. . It’s just . you just want people to think you are? FRANK JUNIOR Well. FRANK JUNIOR I’m not really in to all that Riverbend madness.63 BRENDA Oh. Go! (The Interns hurry off. with a gurney. I don’t think I could see you as a pilot. And you’re the best nurse we have. I’m the youngest nurse here. FRANK JUNIOR Hey—there's a smile.
. Maybe this part is my show. You weren't there..) SONG: LIVE IN LIVING COLOR (REPRISE) FRANK JUNIOR LIVE IN LIVING COLOR NOW THE PICTURE SEEMS SO CLEAR SHE'S ALIVE IN LIVING COLOR SO EXCUSE ME WHILE I DISAPPEAR .. (Frank Junior gestures: Have at it. Frank. HANRATTY I interviewed your parents. and Connecticut. FRANK JUNIOR Sure. New Jersey. HANRATTY Sooner or later— FRANK JUNIOR (abruptly turns to us) Meanwhile. type of thing. Fine. HANRATTY Sort of a . watching him. then she remembers:) Oh! Surgery! (She hurries off. (Hanratty appears opposite. And waits. BRENDA Okay.) HANRATTY Sooner or later.] HANRATTY (also to us) Actually. You were busy with Brenda. it's taking Agent Hanratty a really really long time to visit the house of every single runaway—[in New York. He sings..) . FRANK JUNIOR Brenda wasn't a mistake... MUSIC. (a moment. Hanratty turns to us.64 FRANK JUNIOR Call me Frank. Phillip Marlowe. Frank Junior watches her go. they always make a mistake. film noir . It's my show. FRANK JUNIOR All right. we cracked it pretty quickly— FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty.
Hanratty will become the fourth. So hot my ass was sticking to the seat of my car like a fly on paper and my suit was my own personal sauna.) FRANK JUNIOR Ladies and Gentlemen. She gave new meaning to the words femme fatale. Paula enters.65 HANRATTY It was hot. Too bad she was some poor kid’s mother. (MUSIC. But not as hot as the woman I was about to interview. with three handsome DANCING BOYS. . Paula Abagnale and the Abagnale Dancers perform "Dancing Around the Subject". even for August. a few years older.
PAULA Ce n'est pas possible. (reads from yearbook) Class Treasurer? PAULA Is Frankie in some sort of trouble? HANRATTY Ma'am. and Hanratty grabs it. it's possible. She opens the book up.66 Scene 3: The Barnes House and A Bar. New Rochelle PAULA I haven’t seen Frankie. you should be very proud.. Heavens to Betsy. HANRATTY Yes. PAULA It sounds like Frankie’s good at this. but possible. I ALWAYS KNEW I’D SEE THIS DAY I CAN’T SAY IT’S A SHOCK WHAT’S THAT EXPRESSION? QU’EST-CE QUE C’EST? HE’S “A CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK” BUT IF YOU SEE HIM PLEASE PASS ON THIS PLEA DON’T BE A STRANGER TELL HIM THAT FOR ME HANRATTY If I could just look at a photo .. If you wanted to raise a crook. Tell me how much he owes.) HANRATTY That's him. PAULA I don't have a recent one... He has been passing bad checks.. Here .. I'll write you a check— HANRATTY So far it's one-point-four million dollars. that's him. forging government documents— PAULA Well? So? Half of the kids his age are on dope but instead you chase after Frankie because he made a little mistake? Tant pis. HANRATTY Oh. since he ran away. (One of the Handsome Dancing Men hands her the yearbook. your son's in a great deal of trouble. . his junior class yearbook . Unlikely.
HANRATTY Okay then. ma'am. Is that what you're saying? HANRATTY I don't do blame. He says Frankie writes to him.67 PAULA MY FRANKIE HAD A CLEVER MIND HE COULD SPEND HOURS ALL ALONE I WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN SURPRISED TO FIND HE CHANGED HIS DIAPER ON HIS OWN COULD I HAVE BEEN THERE MORE? WELL. A NEW ROMANCE IS IT A CRIME TO SAY I MADE A CHOICE AND CHOSE WHAT'S BEST FOR ME HANRATTY Where might I locate your son? PAULA Ask his father. I just catch the bad guys.) FRANK SENIOR I GUESS TO YOU I SEEM A SCHMUCK WELL. PAULA THOUGH I TRIED. ALL'S FAIR . (Split scene: The Barnes living room splits the stage with a dive bar. I'LL JUST BIDE MY TIME PAULA IN LOVE. Paula continues to dance with the THREE ATTRACTIVE MEN in the background. HANRATTY And would I find his father? PAULA Check the bars in town. Frank Senior on a barstool. I COULDN'T HIDE WHEN LOVE HAD FLOWN AWAY CHILDREN CLOSE THEIR EYES BUT STILL THEY SEE I TOOK A CHANCE. C’EST LA VIE DON’T BE A STRANGER TELL HIM THAT FOR ME HANRATTY You haven't heard from him since you left your husband? PAULA I'm to blame.
68 FRANK SENIOR 'CAUSE I BELIEVE THAT LADY LUCK CAN STILL TURN ON A DIME PAULA COMME A LA GUERRE FRANK SENIOR AND MAYBE ONE WILL ONCE AGAIN BE THREE PAULA C'EST C'QUE J'AI TOUJOURS DIT FRANK SENIOR DON'T BE A STRANGER TELL THEM THAT FOR ME PAULA DON'T BE A STRANGER TELL HIM THAT FOR ME BOTH (NO) DON'T BE A STRANGER TELL HIM (THEM) THAT FOR ME. Here's the truth. I just wanted to see what you knew. FRANK SENIOR Okay. serving his country. HANRATTY Yes. Your son is a counterfeiter and a con man. HANRATTY Do you have any idea where your child is? FRANK SENIOR He's always in the air. I’d like to bring him in alive. He never was. (waves an envelope) Got a letter from him just today. He's a pilot for Pan Am! What a life! HANRATTY Your son isn’t a pilot with anyone. He signed up. SONG ENDS. Real bullets. HANRATTY Can I see that letter? . FRANK SENIOR I knew that. Mister Abagnale. Now listen to me. I expect a father to do that. Mister Abagnale. Real guns. I do. (looks Hanratty over) You expect a father to give up his son. He's over in Nam. People get shot in my line of work.
(MUSIC.69 FRANK SENIOR (shakes his head. and JFK all rolled into one. the kid used to see me as Dean Martin. He's in country. Your kid needs you now. (The BARTENDER turns to pour for them—and it's Frank Junior. when the banks and the government and the big boys try to rob you blind. Hell. Jesus Christ. I couldn't live up to that. HANRATTY Is that what you taught your son? FRANK SENIOR A man should go after what he wants in life. risking his life for you and me. You might be the only one who can. Look out for yourself. Me. What could they possibly have in common? Oh yeah.) A saloon song for two lonely souls. HANRATTY The game? FRANK SENIOR You know.) FRANK JUNIOR These two need some music. FRANK SENIOR Please—Frank. Don't let the bastards get the best of you. . Frank Junior quietly replaced by the regular BARTENDER. FRANK SENIOR Then I think we're all in a lot of trouble. FRANK SENIOR What can I possibly do for him that he can't do better for himself? HANRATTY You can tell him to come in. HANRATTY A man should face up to what he's done.) HANRATTY Mister Abagnale. I'd say. the game. Not a bad way to leave his troubles behind. (He smiles and exits as Hanratty and Frank Senior turn back downstage. You can tell him to stop. HANRATTY Frank. puts letter away) No return address. Carl. I told him I loved him—every day. I did the best I could. He got out of the game at just the right time.
Of darkness. right? FRANK SENIOR You got any kids. BE A MAN YEAH. GROW SOME BALLS FRANK SENIOR Oh. THAT MOTTO RANG THROUGHOUT THE HALLS ON MY TENTH BIRTHDAY HE SHOWED ME A GUN THEN TOOK ME TO THE CORNFIELDS AND SAID "OKAY . RUN!" . HANRATTY Yeah. KID. he did not. FRANK SENIOR Way of the world. HANRATTY I swear to God. Our fathers screw us up. BE A MAN. Carl? HANRATTY I do not. It's the eternal cycle. Every single day. we turn around and do the same to our kids. LITTLE BOY.. HANRATTY Until someone breaks it." HANRATTY But you want to do your kid better. FRANK SENIOR Hah! HANRATTY LITTLE MAN. BE A MAN FRANK SENIOR LITTLE BOY. SONG: LITTLE BOY. Carl. I CAME OUT JUST FINE AND IF I EVER WOULD CRY HE'D SMACK THE TEAR FROM OUT MY EYE HE TOLD ME "GROW UP. THAT WAS POP'S ONLY PLAN HE NEVER KISSED ME OR SANG "BABY MINE" SURE.70 HANRATTY Maybe you should've told him not to commit grand larceny. I'D HAVE LOVED A HUG BUT HEY.. FRANK SENIOR Then what the hell do you know about it? I suppose your father was a prince. YOU'RE NO PETER PAN.
HANRATTY LUCKY FOR ME. like son.71 HIS SENSE OF HUMOR WAS LAME FRANK SENIOR Like father. waves it) A pilot! Serving his country! (slaps the envelope on the bar) He's doin' fine. GROW SOME BALLS BOTH BALLGAMES THAT HE MISSED NIGHTS HE CAME HOME PISSED WELL. Can't hold on forever. HANRATTY You're sure about that? FRANK SENIOR Ya gotta let go. LITTLE ME THEY COME WITH NO WARRANTY I TRIED TO FIX IT BUT WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED BOTH IT'S HARD TO SAY BUT FATHER DOESN'T ALWAYS KNOW BEST FRANK SENIOR SO CARL. WHEN YOU HAVE A KID HANRATTY MY EX SAID HEAVEN FORBID . the kid's great. Carl. huh Frank? FRANK SENIOR (thickly) Aw. I DON'T THINK ABOUT THAT ANY LONGER HANRATTY NO ONE IN THE BLEACHERS FRANK SENIOR FISTFIGHTS WITH MY TEACHERS BOTH I'M LIVING PROOF WHAT DOESN'T KILL YA MAKES YA STRONGER! HANRATTY So what do you say we set the kid straight. (he sings) LITTLE MAN. (pulls the envelope out. SO WAS HIS AIM! IF HE HAD SEWN SOME NEEDLEPOINT THAT HUNG ON THE WALLS (IT WOULDA SAID) LITTLE MAN.
Music switches to “MAN INSIDE THE CLUES” Hanratty picks up the letter. TRANSITION TO . Checks the return address. head on the bar. Slaps it against his hand.) BARTENDER Anything else for ya? HANRATTY Payphone? I need to get to Atlanta. he is home. (Hanratty watches Frank Senior waver.. NOT AS I DID BOTH LIKE DAD AFTER DAD AFTER DAD AFTER DAD SINCE THE WHOLE MESS BEGAN FRANK SENIOR YOU DO THE BEST YOU CAN HANRATTY LITTLE BOY.72 FRANK SENIOR DO AS I SAY.. okay? BARTENDER Buddy. (pulls out a few bills) Make sure he gets home. (MUSIC. Hanratty steps outside the bar. sit hard.) SONG: MAN INSIDE THE CLUES (REPRISE) HANRATTY I’VE LOOKED INTO SO MANY LIVES BUT NEVER GOT THIS CLOSE THE DISTANCE MADE IT EASIER TO SEE I LIKE TO DO THE JOB AT HAND AND THEN IT’S “ADIOS” BUT HERE’S A CASE THAT’S GOT THE BEST OF ME AN ENVELOPE WITH HIS ADDRESS A BRAND NEW SET OF TRACKS LEADING TO A KID WITH NO ROADS LEFT TO CHOOSE THERE’S NO ONE LEFT TO SAVE THE DAY IT’S TIME TO FACE THE FACTS SO I’LL TAKE THAT RIDE TO THE BOY INSIDE THE CLUES (He goes. ) . and pass out cold. BE A MAN SONG ENDS.
Home. it took a month just to get you to talk to me. I love that I can ask you anything. I love that you’re good at your job and that you work hard. Frank? You could have any nurse here.U. ordinary. BRENDA But why me. and he wasn’t very nice to me. FRANK JUNIOR Brenda. it’s fine—I love a challenge. and Italy. (Frank Junior emerges from the covers. BRENDA But you’re the Harvard graduate world traveler and I'm just . To be married.. (reaches for her) You know I'll never hurt you. like ..) Brenda come on. Well—I sort of ran away. (She groans. You've been to Paris.. FRANK JUNIOR Brenda. Why me? FRANK JUNIOR Because . And I haven’t been back since. I mean. I’d wait forever for you. FRANK JUNIOR I think we have more than you know. FRANK JUNIOR You ran away! Wow.) BRENDA I’m sorry. FRANK JUNIOR No. It’s okay. BRENDA You say that now. I just—I’m not ready. You know girls from everywhere. . No reason. But we have nothing in common. Frank. Code Blue! Party in the I. (Brenda emerges. I love that I can be myself around you..C. and think of all the beautiful women there must be in Germany. I'm sorry.73 Scene 4: Atlanta General Hospital INTERCOM Code Blue. and on the morning of my wedding day I looked at myself in my dress and I realized I didn’t want to marry him. BRENDA I didn’t mean to be rude. Why would you do something like that? BRENDA I was engaged. it’s okay—I can wait. I want to. He was the son of my father’s law partner. why'd you leave New Orleans? BRENDA (turns away) Oh..) FRANK JUNIOR Brenda. And so I left..
I don't need a fancy restaurant or a huge orchestra— (He sneaks a look to the bandstand. I don't need Paris.74 FRANK JUNIOR Ordinary is beautiful. I'VE TRAVELED NEAR AND FAR BUT NOW I KNOW THAT HOME IS WHERE YOU ARE NIAGARA FALLS? A LEAKY FAUCET THAT A PLUMBER OUGHTA FIX THE PYRAMIDS? ARE REALLY JUST A DUSTY PILE OF BRICKS. BRENDA THE AURORA BOREALIS? FRANK JUNIOR JUST A NIGHT LIGHT ON THE FRITZ BRENDA STONEHENGE? FRANK JUNIOR JUST A BUNCH OF ROCKS . THEY CAN'T COMPARE TO YOU I'VE BEEN A LOTTA PLACES YES.. (MUSIC.. while I was looking for you.) SONG: SEVEN WONDERS FRANK JUNIOR I'VE SEEN THE SEVEN WONDERS IF YOU GIVE OR TAKE A FEW BUT ALL THEM SEVEN WONDERS WELL. THE GRAND CANAL IN VENICE? AN EYE-TALIAN TOILET BOWL. (Frank sings.) —just some subtle orchestrations. THE TAJ MAHAL? A FIXER-UPPER. And maybe a little mood lighting. I'VE SEEN THE SEVEN WONDERS IF YOU GIVE OR TAKE A FEW BUT ALL THEM SEVEN WONDERS WELL. I'VE TRAVELED NEAR AND FAR BUT NOW I KNOW THAT HOME IS WHERE YOU ARE. THEY CAN'T COMPARE TO YOU I'VE BEEN A LOTTA PLACES YES.) All that other stuff was just what I found along way . THE GRAND CANYON? JUST A HOLE.
if you were engaged? BRENDA Come on. I'LL PAY THE BILL 'CAUSE I SEE ALL THE WONDERS IN YOUR EYES. You'll change your mind. NOW I KNOW . JUST STANDING STILL.75 BRENDA LA BREA'S TAR? FRANK JUNIOR THE PITS. MY TRAVELIN' DAYS ARE OVER GET THE CHECK.. FRANK JUNIOR I won't. Brenda. I want to make a home with you. Don't tease me. FRANK JUNIOR We could go to your parents. FRANK JUNIOR The clock's ticking. Frank. tell them we're in love.. (sings) I'VE BEEN A LOTTA PLACES BUT I'VE LEARNED NOW NEAR AND FAR THERE'S NO NEED TO ROAM 'CAUSE HOME IS WHERE YOU ARE BRENDA THERE'S NO NEED TO ROAM 'CAUSE HOME IS WHERE YOU ARE FRANK JUNIOR YES. BRENDA HOW 'BOUT THE LEANING TOWER OF PISA? FRANK JUNIOR LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING UP AND BROKE. We can run away tonight. BRENDA MOUNT RUSHMORE? FRANK JUNIOR SOMEONE CLIMB UP THERE AND TELL THEM BOYS A JOKE! FRANK JUNIOR + BRENDA YES. You're the overnight ER supervisor. FRANK JUNIOR Do you think you could go home again . BRENDA My father is very intimidating. I can't—I don't want to be a doctor forever. BRENDA We can't just run away.
" . and catch the train to Nawlins.) FRANK JUNIOR While Brenda and I go get dressed. Frank Junior speaks to us. (As they ride off stage on their respective gurneys.76 FRANK JUNIOR + BRENDA THAT HOME IS WHERE YOU ARE. fast forward a few weeks for a little segment I like to call "Frank's on First. SONG ENDS.
But that man's a pilot. HANRATTY (to quick head shakes from Wanamaker) What about Robert Franklin? Frank Thompson? Frank Meyers? Meyer Williams? William Robertson? WANAMAKER Robert Wilson? DOLLAR Robert Williamson. WANAMAKER So is he a doctor? . HANRATTY He's not a pilot. William Franklin. Frank Taylor.) HANRATTY Doctor. HANRATTY He's not a pilot. A Couple Weeks Later (MUSIC... Cod. and Dollar with Doctor Wanamaker. (Branton pulls out a picture of Frank Junior) BRANTON Have you seen a man who looked like this? WANAMAKER Maybe . and William Franklin Williams. HANRATTY William Robertson. WANAMAKER That's a lot of names. Dollar. Lights on Hanratty.77 Scene 5: Hospital Corridor. Frank Williams. Frank William Abagnale. we're looking for a man who goes by the names of Frank Abagnale. Branton. WANAMAKER He looks like a pilot. WANAMAKER Wilson Robertson? DOLLAR Robert Wilkinson? HANRATTY Shut up.
Turned in all his paperwork on time. HANRATTY Frank Conners. Don't know where. Looked like this? WANAMAKER Without the uniform.K. Too bad—good doctor. Frank Williams.78 HANRATTY Wait—he's a doctor? WANAMAKER Are you asking me or telling me? HANRATTY Did he say he's a doctor? WANAMAKER Son. do you have any idea who you're looking for? (Branton pulls out another photo) BRANTON Frank William Abagnale Junior. Dollar. COD Frank Conners.A. Frank— HANRATTY Shut up. Frank Taylor. Dollar. Brenda something. COD Frank Collins? WANAMAKER Frank Conners. . Ran off with a nurse. DOLLAR A. DOLLAR Jeez. HANRATTY + COD + BRANTON + WANAMAKER Shut up. I don't know. WANAMAKER You know. we did have a Frank Conners. DOLLAR I knew a Frank Collins in high school. HANRATTY So who's Frank Collins? WANAMAKER You tell me.
District Attorney. and she runs to the dining room. (Hanratty and men leave. (He gives her a little nudge. as if looking into the camera. He just supervised the ER. .. Brenda stands nervously in a spot..) FRANK JUNIOR (to us) Introducing our newest young star. And the cultured. Carol Strong. witty. brilliant. Frank Junior is behind her. (he crosses to join the Strongs.. MUSIC: A vaudeville out. and unique Mrs. Now. refined. in tableau. Brenda Strong. And featuring the lovely. introducing the newest feature on our show.79 HANRATTY You let this man operate on patients? WANAMAKER Oh. with some dread. BRENDA And now. Frank Junior continues presenting as each Strong enters in turn. on:) . Why? HANRATTY Let's go. at home with the Strong family! (turns to Frank Junior) Are you sure you're ready for this? FRANK JUNIOR I was born ready. HANRATTY For the love of—Doc. and incredibly intimidating future father-in-law. Lights change. no.) FRANK JUNIOR Go ahead. you ever go in to take out someone’s appendix and come out with something else? WANAMAKER Once or twice. supportively.. Roger Strong . and stands by the dining room table.
sir. sir. Much better than that ratty little Delacroix boy. Where did you learn that. Death Valley Children's Hospital. thinks) Two little mice fell into a bucket of cream. no. New Orleans (The tableau comes to life as all take their seats for dinner. (folds hands. Right behind the Macy’s. bows head. ROGER Well then. ROGER + BRENDA Amen. But now for the make-or-break round. you were in California? FRANK JUNIOR Yes. I think you landed one this time. Brenda. would you like to say grace? (off Frank Junior's hesitation:) Unless you're not comfortable.) ROGER And before Atlanta. FRANK JUNIOR Oh. BRENDA Mother. call me Frank. Family is the most important thing. Do you come from a large family? FRANK JUNIOR Please. you pious piece of cutie-pie? FRANK JUNIOR The. absolutely. ROGER Doctor Conners. Frank. sir. First Lutheran Church of Death Valley. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned but the second mouse. ROGER They have a Children's Hospital in Death Valley? FRANK JUNIOR Yes. now. CAROL Well goddamn and gumbo. We pick up the scene in progress. I'm an only child. he struggled so hard that he eventually churned that cream into butter and walked out. Amen.80 Scene 6: The Strong House. CAROL Amen and goddamn that was beautiful. Don't lie to me. I am a Lutheran. Are you a Lutheran? FRANK JUNIOR Why. This one's a hunky hunk of you-betcha. CAROL Ding ding! Correct answer. ah. . yes. but I hope to have lots of kids.
Roger. could he Daddy? Could he please? Could he come work with you please? ROGER So. Frank should work for you. CAROL Sakes alive. Columbia . I’ve been thinking about getting back into law. ? FRANK JUNIOR Berkeley... aren’t you full of surprises.81 ROGER Frank. Was that snake Hollingsworth still teaching there when you went through Berkeley? FRANK JUNIOR Hollingsworth . BRENDA Oh. why not try my hand at pediatrics? BRENDA Well. Grumpy old Hollingsworth. right? I tell ya. to be quite honest. the yummy Yankee is a doctor and a lawyer! Oh. The dog was dead when I got there. then I decided.. FRANK JUNIOR (a look to us: he's surprised himself) Yes I am. Brenda. CAROL Oh my saints and stars. . then:) I'm sorry. Yale. Frank. ROGER Are you a doctor or a lawyer? FRANK JUNIOR Before I went to medical school. darlin'. you got yourself magic on a stick with this one! ROGER Where did you go to law school? Harvard. yes. meaner than ever. You're always bellyachin' about how hard it is to find assistant prosecutors who aren't bayou inbreds. BRENDA + CAROL Berkeley! BRENDA That's where daddy went! FRANK JUNIOR Oh! Wow. I passed the bar in California. what was the name of his little dog? FRANK JUNIOR (works the problem.. ROGER And that dog of his? Tell me Frank. I practiced law for a year. have you decided which hospital you want to work at here in New Orleans? FRANK JUNOR Well. Fantastic.
The truth is I’m not a lawyer. y’all! . I know what you are.. Men like us are nothing without the women we love. Carol jumps up:) CAROL Oh. I’m just a kid who’s in love with your daughter.. really. If you want my daughter . a Lutheran. Daddy! But.) BRENDA Oh. look at the time! ROGER Is it seven-thirty already? BRENDA Is it time for Mitch? FRANK JUNIOR Mitch? CAROL Come on. FRANK JUNIOR Know what. I'd like to hear the truth from you now. Frank. She’s the real thing. Frank! (Brenda and Frank kiss. sir . FRANK JUNIOR The truth? The truth. I’m nothing. sir. sir? ROGER The truth.. I’m not a doctor.. FRANK JUNIOR I am? ROGER Yes you are. ROGER But who are you Frank? If you want my blessing . we’ve been through all this before with her. a lawyer... A doctor. Frank? 'Cause I think you're about to ask my daughter's hand in marriage.. FRANK JUNIOR Brenda’s the best girl I’ve ever known. FRANK JUNIOR Well goddamn and gumbo! (All laugh. and I have a right to know. Tell me the truth. is .82 ROGER How unfortunate. What are you doing here? What is a man of your accomplishments doing with Brenda? After all. ROGER No. So what are you.. (pause) You’re a romantic. Daddy.
P. Let's begin with all those beautiful mothers! ROGER Take it. Come on and sing! This one's for the whole family. Mother. CAROL AND MEN WA-WAH WA-WA-WA-WAH . and the Sing Along Gang! Hey! Don't just sit there.) MITCH MILLER NBC Presents: Sing Along With Mitch! Starring me.83 FRANK JUNIOR Who’s Mitch? (They all head for the couch. Mitch Miller. SONG: (OUR) FAMILY TREE CAROL I FEEL A MIGHTY QUAKE THE SOUTH BEGINS TO SHAKE UNDER OUR FAMILY TREE THE LEAVES BEGIN TO BLOW GONE WITH THE WIND THEY GO ALL THROUGH OUR FAMILY TREE UP TOP MAGNOLIAS BLOOM THEY SPREAD A SWEET PERFUME FOR THIS ANCESTRAL JUBILEE NOW EVERY BOUGH MUST PULL ITS WEIGHT IT’S TIME TO PRUNE AND PROPAGATE WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY TREE MITCH MILLER Let's hear from those fantastic fathers! ROGER I HEAR THE DOGWOOD'S BARK A SEED'S BEGUN TO SPARK INSIDE OUR FAMILY TREE A TWIG BEGINS TO POKE FROM OUT THAT MIGHTY OAK TO JOIN OUR JAMBOREE CAROL Ruff! Tsst! FAMILY TREE CAROL JAMBOREE MEN SAVE SOME OF THAT GUMBO FOR ME ROGER AND LADIES AND LIKE A SLIDE TROMBONE HE GLIDES OUT FULLY GROWN A DIXIELAND R.S. MUSIC. MITCH MILLER appears.V.
MITCH MILLER Frank. I will marry you. will you marry me? BRENDA Yes Frank Conners. but I wouldn’t change a single one. welcome to the Family Tree. ALL WOO!! FRANK JUNIOR I'LL GIVE A REBEL YELL TO EVERY SOUTHERN BELLE UNDER OUR FAMILY TREE I'LL SWING THE SECOND LINE WHEN OUR TWO CLANS COMBINE FOR SOME BIG FRANK JUNIOR + ALL EASY HARMONY FRANK JUNIOR TRUMPETS BEGIN TO SHOUT TO WELCOME YOUR NEW SPROUT YOU'VE CHARMED THIS YANKEE REFUGEE YOU’RE ALL SO LUSH AND OVERGROWN BUT I KNOW I’LL NEVER BE ALONE I'M GLAD TO CLIMB YOUR FAMILY TREE ROGER + CAROL + BRENDA + FRANK JUNIOR YOUR LOVE HAS RAISED THE BAR I'M SWINGIN' ON A STAR DOO WOW! FRANK JUNIOR FOR THAT WHO NEEDS A LAW DEGREE?!? GIRLS THE TREES THAT BEAR THE RIPEST FRUITS STRONG FAMILY SINGERS DOO WOW! . because they all led me to you. Brenda Strong.84 ROGER AND NO ONE MINDS AN EXTRA LIMB CAROL ESPECIALLY WHEN IT LOOKS LIKE HIM ROGER + CAROL + LADIES SO WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY TREE MITCH MILLER Ready Frank? FRANK JUNIOR (goes down on one knee) I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life.
BOYS ARE THE TREES THAT HAVE THE DEEPEST ROOTS ROGER + CAROL + BRENDA SO WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY STRONGS + STRONG FAMILY SINGERS WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY TREE Look out old Frankie is home! SONG ENDS. (After applause: MUSIC. Roger takes Carol and they dance close. Much as Frank Senior and Paula danced at the top of the show. Frank Junior watches Roger and Carol dance. Brenda returns and helps Frank Junior on with a trench coat. He gives her a kiss, and as Roger and Carol dance off we TRANSITION TO:) FRANK JUNIOR I'M WELCOME IN THE FAMILY TREE!
Scene 7: Dive Bar, New Rochelle (Frank Senior, in a postal uniform, at the bar, a crusty old BARTENDER behind it. Frank Junior enters.) FRANK JUNIOR Dad. FRANK SENIOR (turns, doesn't go to him) What are you doing here? FRANK JUNIOR I came to see you. Why are you dressed like that? FRANK SENIOR I took a job. A government job. I'm beating them at their own game. I'm a government employee—you see how beautiful that is? You got a good lawyer? FRANK JUNIOR I sort of am a lawyer now. FRANK SENIOR Look at this letter. The I.R.S. wants more. They ate the cake. Now they want the crumbs. You know what? I'll make them chase me. For the rest of their lives. (looks at Frank Junior) I had an FBI agent come see me. FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty. FRANK SENIOR You got their number, son. The United States government, champ. Running for the hills. FRANK JUNIOR Dad. It's over. I'm gonna stop now. FRANK SENIOR They're never gonna catch you, Frankie. Why would you stop? FRANK JUNIOR I'm settling down. I'm going to raise a family. (reaches into his coat, pulls out an invitation) I came here to give you this. It's an invitation to an engagement party. Daddy, I'm getting married. Can you believe it? I'm getting married. I've got two tickets for you and mom, first-class, for the wedding— FRANK SENIOR Why would you do that? You're on top of the world. FRANK JUNIOR I'm changing my life, Dad. And you won't have to worry about anything anymore. The house, the Cadillac, Everything they took from us. I’m going to get it all back. And Mom’s gonna see— FRANK SENIOR Your mother's remarried. To my friend Jack Barnes. They have a house out on Long Island.
FRANK JUNIOR Why would she do that? FRANK SENIOR Don't get married, Frankie. FRANK JUNIOR But—why would she do that to us? FRANK SENIOR There's no us anymore. Listen to me. I'm your father. FRANK JUNIOR Then tell me to stop. FRANK SENIOR Why would I tell you to stop? FRANK JUNIOR Because you're my father. FRANK SENIOR You can't stop. You're on a winning streak. You gotta ride it. You gotta ride that, baby. (as Frank Junior begins to back away.) You're an Abagnale! (a cappella, he sings:) THEY KNEW THE KEY TO LIFE (Frank Jr. pushes him away and exits.) Hey, come on and sing it with me, Frankie ... CAUSE WHEN LEMONS CLOG YOUR SINK UP DON’T JUST STAND AROUND AND SCREAM (to the band) Hey, hit it guys ... SPIKE SOME LEMONADE AND DRINK UP AND MAKE BUTTER OUT OF CREAM JUST MAKE BUTTER ... (speaks, almost inaudibly, and almost in darkness:) Frankie. (Suddenly a jangly phone RING pierces the darkness. Frank Junior steps into one spot, Hanratty into another. Both on the phone.) HANRATTY Well, well, Doctor Conners. What do you want? FRANK JUNIOR I want it to be over. I'm getting married, Carl. I'm settling down. I'm going to have a family.
the one.) HANRATTY They always make a mistake. Please. Look for an engagement notice. BRANTON He would've changed his name by now. You will be caught. get all the Louisiana papers. Blackout. HANRATTY He can't. Hanratty hangs up. Frank Conners. Carl. Hanratty looks at us. but Frank Junior stands stock still in his spot. You think we’re just going to call that a wedding present? This is not something that you can run away from. HANRATTY Listen. The hotel in Lake Charles. (Branton snaps his fingers. I met the girl . and goes. Carl.. I know you rented that car in Shreveport. HANRATTY You're scared because you know I'm getting closer. FRANK JUNIOR Goodbye Carl. MUSIC.88 HANRATTY You have stolen almost two million dollars. He loses the name.. Frank. And TRANSITION TO:) . You're scared. She knows him as Frank Conners. (Frank Junior hangs up. Where did you think this was headed? FRANK JUNIOR Please let me stop. FRANK JUNIOR I'm getting married. last two months. And you're tired. he loses the girl. You will go to jail. HANRATTY And does she know the truth? About who you are? FRANK JUNIOR Do you? HANRATTY Almost all of it. Branton joins Hanratty).
Not even your parents. Strong House. right? That's who I am with you.89 Scene 8: Brenda's Bedroom. New Orleans (Frank Junior madly pulling suitcases from beneath the bed. right? BRENDA Of course.. or whether I was sick. sees what he's doing:) What're you doing? Everyone's downstairs waiting to meet the groom-to-be. take a taxi cab. I’ll be too afraid—I’m no good at lying. FRANK JUNIOR Whether I was poor. BRENDA Frank. where should I put these? They're checks. or whether I had a different name? (He opens a suitcase to throw some clothes in. BRENDA Frank. or a Berkeley graduate.. or a Harvard graduate. And you're not going to tell anyone. engagement gifts from Daddy's friends— (breaks off. where'd you get all that money? FRANK JUNIOR A name. I use the name Frank Taylor. You’re gonna leave the house after your parents go to sleep.. . Brenda sweeps in. give the driver that money and tell him to drive all through the night. I'm not a lawyer. a Lutheran. Brenda. What’s going on? FRANK JUNIOR I mean. BRENDA Frank . I can’t. Here's what we're gonna do. That's my secret. you're gonna meet me at Miami International Airport. BRENDA What? FRANK JUNIOR You love me. right—what's a name? My name is Frank Conners. But we all have secrets. Frank. or a . FRANK JUNIOR We have to leave. you love me no matter what? BRENDA Well—of course. and it's full of money. Sometimes when I travel..) BRENDA Frank. You're not a Lutheran? FRANK JUNIOR Okay.) BRENDA Frank. in a party dress. Here’s money. I'm not a doctor. I ran away from home two years ago when I was sixteen. In two days. I never went to medical school. what are you talking about? Why are you saying all this? FRANK JUNIOR I don't want to lie to you anymore.
He pulls away gently. and you will be. He guides Brenda to it. Frank. FRANK JUNIOR I know you can. (A spotlight appears. Now! BRENDA I can’t. (He turns to go. FRANK JUNIOR I love you too. then.) The spotlight’s on you now.) I have to go now. Roger. Men who shoot to kill. Abagnale.) CAROL (offstage) Brenda! HANRATTY Brenda. (He kisses her again and slips out the window. gently:) Listen to me. Brenda.) BRENDA I don’t think I can do this alone. sweetheart. BRENDA Frank— FRANK JUNIOR Shh. No time for goodbyes. FRANK JUNIOR My name. (They kiss.) BRENDA Frank! Please. and Hanratty enter. We’ve got men after him in every state. It’s like I told you before—act like you're brave. Please tell me your name. but she pulls him back. Where is he? BRENDA He’s gone. I’m gonna see you real soon. . (He grabs the suitcase to go. William. Junior. Carol.90 FRANK JUNIOR You know you can do this. You have to. Before you go. HANRATTY Where’d he go? (gets no answer. BRENDA I love you. this could end very badly. Is Frank. You need to tell me where he’s going.
and Cod go.. if you love him. FLY AWAY BRENDA WHEN I WAS A CHILD MY EYES WERE CLEAR... (Brenda continues to look at the pool of light.) COD Hanratty. Three of the guests saw someone leaving out the back. MMM-MMM. WITH HIS SWEET AND GENTLE TOUCH. AH-AH BRENDA MEN WHO THEY CALL REAL THREE WOMEN . moving to go) Don’t go anywhere.. (Hanratty. FLY. I'LL BE YOUR ALIBI MY BABY FLY. NOW I WANNA SEE HIM FLY .. FLY AWAY . YEAH. (Roger shakes his head and exits. GOODBYE NO NEED TO TELL ME WHY MY BABY MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY THREE WOMEN OOH-OOH. FLY . HANRATTY (to Brenda. I DIDN'T GET TO SAY GOODBYE. Carol. LAWYER.) ROGER Brenda. HE SURE UNLOCKED MY SOUL SO IN RETURN.) SONG: FLY.91 (Cod bursts in. you’ll do the right thing. I SAW THE GOOD SIDE THAT'S THE KIND OF SECOND SIGHT THAT DOESN'T LAST TOO LONG BUT WHEN I WAS LOST I HEARD A VOICE THAT BROUGHT ME HEALING THAT'S THE KIND OF SPECIAL HOPE HE BROUGHT ME WITH HIS SONG PEOPLE ONLY SAW THE DOCTOR. darling. INDIAN CHIEF BUT HE WAS JUST A LONELY LITTLE BOY TO ME. I SURELY WANT TO HELP TO SET HIM FREE . OOH-OOH...) Young lady..
... FLY . WE DIDN'T GET TO SAY GOODBYE.. OOH-OOHOOH-OOH. I'LL BE YOUR ALIBI MY BABY FLY. FLY . OOH-OOH-OOH WAS I THE ONLY ONE TO EVER SEE THE BOY SO NOW THEY WANNA CLIP HIS PRECIOUS WINGS AND BRING HIM DOWN BUT IN HIS HEART AND SOUL'S THE KIND OF GOOD THEY CAN'T DESTROY (Brenda’s bedroom starts to go away) YEAH.. AAH.... AAH. FLY AWAY … GOODBYE BOY.92 WERE REALLY FAKES WHO LEFT ME NOTHING MMM-MMM-MMM BUT THIS MAN THEY CALL A FAKE GAVE ME SOMETHING REAL AH. GOODBYE NO NEED TO TELL ME WHY MY BABY MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY BABY WHEN YOU'RE IN THE CLOUDS PLEASE KEEP A LOOKOUT MAYBE DARLING FIND A HIDEAWAY FOR YOU AND I YOU AND I NOW I'LL SEE HIM FLY . OOH … FLY … FLY … FLY. FLY AWAY . OOH-OOH OOH-OOH AAH-OOH-OOH. CRUEL MEN WITH CHRISTIAN NAMES WHO TAUGHT ME MANNERS BUT THIS MAN WITHOUT A NAME TAUGHT ME HOW TO FEEL THEY ONLY SAW THE MAGIC TRICKS THE SMOKE AND MIRRORS OOH-OOH-OOH. FLY. AAH-AAH. WE DIDN'T GET TO SAY GOODBYE. OOH-OOH.. AAH-AAH. AH-AH. I'VE KNOWN CRUEL. FLY. YOU AND I. BRING HIM DOWN AAH-AAH. AAH-AAH . FLY AWAY . NOW I WANNA SEE HIM FLY . OOH-OOH-OOH... MMM-MMM. FLY. GOODBYE NO NEED TO TELL ME WHY MY BABY MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY FLY FLY AWAY GOODBYE MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE OOH-OOH. OOH-OOH.. I'LL BE YOUR ALIBI MY BABY FLY.
OOH-OOH-OOH. MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY AND I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU THERE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY.) . the deafening roar of a jet plane taking off. OOH. FLY AWAY. (Lights to black. OOH-OOH-OOH-OOH.93 AAH-AAH. FLY. SONG ENDS. In black.
) HANRATTY For the love of — Dollar. who close in) You're not going to fool me again. Cod. what does "hold your fire" mean where you come from? DOLLAR (proud) I fired a warning shot. Frank. Just go. lost in thought. BRANTON Hanratty don’t let himHANRATTY I got this.) HANRATTY Branton. . Frank.A. FRANK JUNIOR I'm sure these people want to know why you're shooting at me. (He smiles at us. but this time there's no stinger from the orchestra—only silence. HANRATTY Come on. The Agents watch him closely. Like you did in that hotel room in L. (He looks to them. get everyone out of here.) I think they should know who I am and what I did and why I did it. I'd rather take you alive than dead. Men! (Jerks his head to the Agents. He crosses downstage. They kind of do. FRANK JUNIOR That was close! You could hurt someone. Agent Hanratty! COD (squints at ceiling) I think you shot down a plane. You're not putting on a show for these people. HANRATTY This is one of your tricks. FRANK JUNIOR Can I at least make a statement first? HANRATTY At the airport? No.94 Scene 9: Miami International Airport (Lights on the same airport scene we saw at rise: Dollar has just fired his gun.
SONG: GOODBYE FRANK JUNIOR IT'S MY HAPPY ENDING. but it’s time for me to settle down to a quiet family life. HANRATTY That’s not true.) How does it all end. (Hanratty murmurs into his walkie-talkie. You're wanted on every continent. Son.) When the show’s over? HANRATTY That’s right. HANRATTY Let’s go.) FRANK JUNIOR 'CAUSE THE SHOW IS DONE NOW AND IT'S TIME TO LEAVE THE STAGE. with my beloved Brenda. THE GOOD GUY WON NOW . Any minute. Frank? What happens when it’s all over? FRANK JUNIOR You mean … (MUSIC.) FRANK JUNIOR It’s sure been an exciting run. FRANK JUNIOR WE CAN STOP PRETENDING. (But Frank Junior pays no heed. YEAH. FRANK JUNIOR NOW IT'S TIME TO SAY GOODNIGHT— HANRATTY There's nowhere you can run.95 (The other agents hurry the passengers to the exits. FRANK JUNIOR She'll be here. FRANK JUNIOR TELL THE SPOTLIGHT MAN TURN OFF MY LIGHT. HANRATTY This is not something that you can walk away from. coming downstage to speak to us: our host. HANRATTY You left Brenda behind.
HANRATTY It’s time to give up. Frank. I understand. I loved you too. (He starts toward her but stops short when Branton and Dollar appear behind her. We followed her right to you. I’m sorry.) BRENDA Frank! FRANK JUNIOR Brenda! Just in time. HANRATTY All right. FRANK JUNIOR IT'S A HAPPY ENDING TO THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH. BRENDA Frank. BRENDA Frank—I love you.96 AND THE BAND HAS NO MORE SONGS TO PLAY IT'S A HAPPY ENDING SO I'LL SAY GOODBYE GOODBYE TO ALL THE MAKE BELIEVE GOODBYE THERE'S NO MORE MAGIC UP MY SLEEVE THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO ACT UP HERE I'LL TAKE MY BOW AND DISAPPEAR NO QUESTIONS LEFT FOR ANSWERING THERE'S ONLY ONE WORD LEFT TO SING GOODBYE (Brenda appears.) FRANK JUNIOR Brenda? HANRATTY Brenda was your mistake. (And they do. I tried. FRANK JUNIOR It’s okay. NOW THE CURTAIN'S DESCENDING AND I HOPE YOU GOT YOUR MONEY'S WORTH .) FRANK JUNIOR (after she's gone) Yeah. get her out of here.
HANRATTY I don't lie. FRANK JUNIOR GONNA STOP THE SHOW NOW 'CAUSE I WANNA LEAVE ON TOP SO GET UP AND GO NOW 'CAUSE THERE'S NOTHING LEFT INSIDE MY HEAD EVERYTHING THAT'S LEFT TO SAY'S BEEN SAID BUT GOODBYE GOODBYE TO ALL THE SONG AND DANCE GOODBYE OFFSTAGE I STAND A BETTER CHANCE THE SHOW IS THROUGH. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you. Grand Central Station-he fell down some steps and broke his neck. too. THE PART'S BEEN PLAYED NO STANDING IN THE WINGS AFRAID NO VIOLINS OR PHONY TEARS THE WORD THAT'S MUSIC TO MY EARS IS GOODBYE GOODBYE GOODBYE GOODBYE I'M NOT AFRAID OF STOPPING THIS END COULD BE MY START I WANNA LIVE A LIFE AND NOT JUST PLAY A PART I'LL WALK INTO THE SUNSET I'LL SAIL ACROSS THE SEA . FRANK JUNIOR You’re lying to me. FRANK JUNIOR No. The police report said he had been drinking. we’re gonna open up the store— HANRATTY Your dad’s dead. HANRATTY I’m sorry.97 (He turns to exit another way. but Hanratty is there. We're gonna move back to New Rochelle. Frank.) HANRATTY Let’s go. Frank. FRANK JUNIOR My dad’s waiting for me up north. You don't get to say that. That's not how this ends.
HANRATTY Yup. BUT HERE'S THE LAST GOODBYE GOODBYE GOODBYE GOODBYE! SONG ENDS. No—he’s not alone. The show’s over. Because it won’t bring you dad back.98 THE FINAL WORD THE LAST YOU'LL HEAR OF ME OF ME IS GOODBYE (He begins to strip the show away. Hanratty. Hanratty is part of the scene. (Frank Junior is alone on stage. Frozen in a spot. and crosses down to us. Mister Hanratty. right now. but you won’t. FRANK JUNIOR I know. Back to real life.) FRANK JUNIOR I don’t understand. FRANK JUNIOR I could go.) FRANK JUNIOR I'M TIRED OF LIVING ON THE STAGE A LIFE THAT'S ONLY ON THE PAGE THE EMPTY LIVES ARE IN THE PAST I'VE TRIED BEFORE. I could run. it seems. Time to face up to what you’ve done. HANRATTY I know. . though everywhere he turns. FRANK JUNIOR What if I don't know how? HANRATTY You don’t have a choice. It’s time to stop.) GOODBYE TO EVERY NIGHT ALONE GOODBYE GOODBYE TO LIVES THAT I DON’T OWN (Frank Junior looks around at the bare stage. FRANK JUNIOR How do you know? HANRATTY Because you’re tired of running. Long after the applause has ended. I just wanted to help him get back on his feet.
YOUR NOSE IS RUNNING ON MY ONLY SUIT. Mister Hanratty. FRANK JUNIOR Would I get a badge? HANRATTY Even better. son. We’re years behind in counterfeit and forgery. WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT I'D SHARE THIS DANCE WITH YOU LOOKS LIKE WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER WHICH IS STRANGE BUT TRUE. then let me out and pay me for what you locked me up for? HANRATTY That’s what I said. Frank. BEFORE I SHOOT. swiftly embraces Hanratty.) SONG: (STUCK TOGETHER) STRANGE BUT TRUE HANRATTY STOP YOUR SOBBIN' KID.) HANRATTY Hey. You do your time. it’s only going to get worse .99 HANRATTY I know. .) Because I'm the only one who can. FRANK JUNIOR At the FBI? HANRATTY We need you’re know how. FRANK JUNIOR The FBI? Really? You’re gonna lock me up. Merry Christmas. Listen. pay your debt to society and we’ll get you out early. You’ll come work for the Bureau. FRANK JUNIOR But why would you want to help me? HANRATTY (Pause. FRANK JUNIOR So how do we end this? HANRATTY Your way. and now with these computers and credit cards coming in. come with me.) (Cuffs Frank Jr.) FRANK JUNIOR Thanks.. (Frank Jr. (Pause. You’ll get a life.. (MUSIC.
.100 FRANK JUNIOR (wipes his eyes. HANRATTY AND FRANK JUNIOR 'TIL THEN WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER WHICH IS STRANGE BUT TRUE. (Frank Junior turns to us. LOOKS LIKE WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER WHICH IS STRANGE BUT TRUE. FRANK JUNIOR Agent Hanratty turned out to be as good as his word. THANK YOUR PUBLIC WHILE YOU'RE STILL IN YOUR PRIME. MISTER TORTOISE—HERE'S YOUR RABBIT STEW. I studied. CHERYL ANN He never paid me back. AND AFTER YOU'VE PAID FOR YOUR LIFE OF CRIME WELL. THEY WON'T BE SEEING YOU FOR QUITE A LONG TIME. and he even was the godfather to my kids.) HANRATTY Keep your promise. CAROL Woo! Woo! FRANK JUNIOR I set up my own security company and would pay back every bad check I passed. HANRATTY FRANK. Let it go. YOU MUST ADMIT I GAVE YOU QUITE THE RUN. HANRATTY TELL MISTER RIPLEY AT "BELIEVE IT OR NOT" HANRATTY + FRANK JUNIOR THE SHOW IS OVER AND HE'S ALL THAT I GOT. HANRATTY Brenda married a real doctor and lived happily ever after. NOW THE CHASE IS DONE. HANRATTY Frank was sentenced to fifteen years in prison but was released after seven for good behavior. How'd you cheat on the bar exam? FRANK JUNIOR I didn't cheat. Cheryl Ann. FRANK JUNIOR Carl and I became good friends. KID WE'LL SEE WHAT GOOD BEHAVIOR CAN DO. HANRATTY HARD TO BELIEVE IT BUT WE'RE TYING THE KNOT TODAY FRANK JUNIOR THAT'S OKAY. HANRATTY No! I hate you. musters a smile) GUESS YOU CAUGHT ME. HANRATTY Not now.
FRANK JUNIOR YOUR JUNIOR PARTNER CAME THROUGH. AND TELL J. MONKEY DO. HANRATTY A SIMPLE CASE OF MONKEY SEE. I THINK I'M GONNA BREAK WITH TRADITION. FRANK JUNIOR I'M GLAD TO BE ON YOUR TEAM. HANRATTY IN FACT. EDGAR HOOVER. YOU'D HAVE SAID "NO WAY!" I ALMOST MAKE IT LOOK LIKE CRIME DOES PAY THERE'S LOTS OF FOLKS THAT I MISS EVERYDAY (He looks around at all the faces from his past—the full company.101 (MUSIC BUILDS as the full company enters. HANRATTY LET'S MAKE SOME BUTTER OUT OF CREAM! (Hanratty and Frank Jr. MISTER LAWYER. FRANK JUNIOR + HANRATTY BUT NOW A NEW DUET HAS MADE ITS DEBUT AND NOW WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER COMPANY OH YEAH! BOTH IN AND OUT OF LUCK TOGETHER! COMPANY OH YEAH! BOTH I'M GLAD WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER WHICH IS STRANGE BUT TRUE. and Hanratty ad lib) FRANK JUNIOR IF YOU HAD READ THIS.) THE END. "BABY I'VE GONE FISHIN'!" (Frank Jr. MISTER TWO-ON-THE-AISLE— YOU NEVER CAN PREDICT WHEN FORTUNE MAY SMILE. .) FRANK JUNIOR + HANRATTY+FULL COMPANY HEY. exit though the house.