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ACT ONE Prologue A gate area of a large, ultra- modern airport—circa 1960s. Lights fade up. We hear the sounds of JETS taking off and landing. ANNOUNCEMENTS murmur throughout. Courtesy phones, pages for passengers, calls for specific airlines and flights, mentioning long-gone airlines like TWA, Braniff, and Pan Am. VOICE OVER ANNOUNCEMENT Welcome to Miami Dade International Airport. Braniff flight 663 service to New York’s Idlewild Airport is now boarding. PASSENGERS hurry back and forth, to and from their flights. FRANK ABAGNALE, JR. has been sitting on an airport chair reading the newspaper. FBI Agents enter, revolvers drawn: BRANTON and DOLLAR. They mistakenly pursue an airline passenger running for his flight. BRANTON There he is! Hold it right there! DOLLAR Stop or I'll shoot! AGENT CARL HANRATTY enters from Stage Right. As with the other agents, we don't see much beneath the fedora. HANRATTY Hold your fire! Where the heck is he? He’s not giving us the slip this time. Frank Junior, carrying a suitcase, rises from the chair and quickly runs up the aisle. Hanratty looks off stage, then notices Frank Junior exiting in the house. Frank Junior, still carrying his suitcase, quickly reverses course and jumps up onto the stage with AGENT COD on his tail. The Agents chase him. Wait a minute, Men. There he goes! That’s him! Goddangit that’s him!
BRANTON Don't move! DOLLAR I'll shoot! I will shoot! Frank Junior hesitates ... COD And he's a really bad shot. ... then takes off again. Hanratty gives chase. HANRATTY Dammit! COD (overlapping) There. There he is! BRANTON (overlapping) No you don’t! DOLLAR (overlapping) I'm gonna shoot! A deafening SHOT stops everyone in their tracks. The Passengers all stop and stare. FRANK, JR. drops the suitcase which falls open, exposing its contents. Large quantities of cash. HANRATTY For the love of—Dollar, what does "hold your fire" mean where you come from? DOLLAR
I fired a warning shot, Agent Hanratty! COD
(squints at ceiling)
I think you shot down a plane. FRANK JUNIOR That was close! You could hurt someone. HANRATTY Come on, Frank. I'd rather take you alive than dead. FRANK JUNIOR Can I at least make a statement first? HANRATTY At the airport? No. FRANK JUNIOR I'm sure these people want to know why you're shooting at me.
(Looks to them: they kind of do)
I think they should know who I am and what I did and why I did it.
HANRATTY This is one of your tricks. Men! (Jerks his head to the Agents, who close in) You're not going to fool me again, Frank, like you did in that hotel room in L.A. You're not putting on a show for these people. FRANK JUNIOR A show? (MUSIC: A figure from the orchestra—we'll call it our STINGER. Frank Junior looks at us and smiles.) A show. (Frank Junior snaps his fingers. MUSIC CONTINUES with a huge timpani roll. A sudden reveal shows a lavish backdrop and tuxedoed ORCHESTRA on a jazzy bandstand.) We need some lights. (He waves his arm. Lights change.) COD The hell is he doing? FRANK JUNIOR A studio audience. HANRATTY Misdirection. It's a con. That's the technique. FRANK JUNIOR Cameras. And the Frank Abagnale Junior Orchestra! (He waves to the Orchestra, the CONDUCTOR acknowledges, and launches into the song proper.) HANRATTY Frank, what the hell are you doing? Branton, Cod, get everyone out of here. (As the other agents hurry the passengers to the exits, Hanratty edges upstage to check out the orchestra, keeping his gun on Frank Junior ... ... who crosses downstage to us.) FRANK JUNIOR My name is Frank William Abagnale ... Junior. This is my story. HANRATTY These people have musical instruments.
. Frank. FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty. practiced medicine at a top Atlanta hospital. Like on a television special or something. And I did it in style. Mister Hanratty thinks he has all the facts. and Hanratty finds himself surrounded by dancing bodies . I flew almost five million miles as a Pan Am pilot. I'M LIVE IN LIVING COLOR SO SIT BACK AND LET ME BE YOUR T. I saw it all! Well I mean. all under assumed names. Hanratty points the gun at Frank Junior. I stole every nickel of it.V. HANRATTY Virtue has never been one of your virtues. special? FRANK JUNIOR I know. and worked as a prosecutor for the State of Lousiana. Like we used to watch. Modesty has never been one of my virtues.) ENSEMBLE (on Frank Junior's "color") LIVE IN LIVING COLOR . you're coming in. and tries not to be too unsettled. the highlights. As he does. (sings) I GOTTA STORY I'D LIKE TO TELL BUT I'M GONNA NEED HELP TO TELL IT WELL I GOTTA STORY ABOUT FAME AND MONEY AND IT'S GOT MORE CURVES THAN A PLAYBOY BUNNY I WANNA LIVE NOT JUST SURVIVE I WANNA TELL MY STORY LIVE AND IN LIVING COLOR! (The ENSEMBLE has entered. when that shot rang out. FRANK JUNIOR True story.) SONG: LIVE IN LIVING COLOR FRANK JUNIOR LIVE IN LIVING COLOR LET ME TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE YES. (He sings to us. GUIDE! (The groove kicks in.) HANRATTY All right.V. that’s enough.4 FRANK JUNIOR I was a millionaire twice over and half again before I was twenty-one. mom and dad and me. Hanratty comes downstage and notices us. but only I know just how I did it.. Now. my whole life flashed before my eyes. HANRATTY You think your life is a T.
flails. and fights his way out to one side. you mean like the story of how Superman became Superman? HANRATTY (half beat) Your ability to pull myth from manure is truly impressive. Has been since the age of sixteen. HANRATTY He likes girls. He's a con man. he had stolen almost one-point-eight million dollars. as Frank Junior continues. listen. and he ducks. plain and simple. + ENSEMBLE LIVE IN LIVING COLOR FRANK JUNIOR AND IT'S BROUGHT TO YOU BY ME YES IT'S LIVE IN LIVING COLOR ENSEMBLE LIVE IN LIVING COLOR FRANK JUNIOR THIS WON'T FIT IN YOUR T. Folks. by the time this guy was twenty years old. and bring in the set. FRANK JUNIOR Thank you! FRANK JR.5 (. Frank and Paula Abagnale! . When he got caught his only excuse was— FRANK JUNIOR I like girls..V. Frank. how "I like girls" becomes "I'm wanted on five continents. Tell the folks." FRANK JUNIOR Oh.. the Frank Abagnale Junior Singers and Dancers! (Hanratty fights his way through the Frank Abagnale Junior Singers and Dancers and speaks to us. when he bilked twenty grand from his father's Mobil card to buy presents for girls. The Ensemble dress Frank Junior for the show.! (speaks) Also starring my parents.) HANRATTY Hold on.) FRANK JUNIOR SOMETHING SPECIAL'S UP TONIGHT YES I'M FRANK JUNIOR + ENSEMBLE LIVE IN LIVING COLOR FRANK JUNIOR LIFE AIN'T LIVED IN BLACK AND WHITE! (speaks) Ladies and gentlemen.
Stunning and romantic. A little village called Montrichard. Frank Junior watches.! (Lights on BRENDA. FRANK JUNIOR Also starring Playboy's Playmate of the Year. My mother was young and beautiful.. And I turned to my buddies and I said— FRANK SENIOR + FRANK JUNIOR —I am not leaving France without that woman. The men are literally holding their breath.. beautifully. Something! (Lights on CHERYL ANN. with ROGER and CAROL STRONG behind her) BRENDA Hi. So they crammed two hundred soldiers into a tiny social hall and the first person to walk on stage is your mother. (They dance. don't try to sell me [some sentimental picture of domestic bliss]— (Frank Junior plows forth as MUSIC CHANGES. who's pissed. FRANK SENIOR (To us) All the people in that little French village were so happy to see Americans that they decided to put on a show for us.) FRANK JUNIOR When I was a kid. faithful and true Brenda Strong. and she starts to dance . featuring the beautiful. Frank! . (Hanratty steps in.) CHERYL ANN I'm surprised you even remembered my first name. I interviewed both your parents. Cheryl Ann .N. FRANK SENIOR and PAULA enter in a sweep..) My parents met in France. My dad was a GI.6 (MUSIC CHANGES. and begin to dance together. They are mirrored by two other dancing couples. After the war.) HANRATTY [continuing as needed] Frank. I could watch them dance all night. sweet.. Listen. Cheryl Ann! And introducing the Strong family. R. come on. Frank Senior sweeps Paula off her feet. PAULA I always get into trouble when I dance with you. and they dance off with the other couples. you no good sonofabitch— FRANK JUNIOR Thank you.
and I’ll tell you anything. I love you. (Brenda exits with her parents. HANRATTY I know the whole story – All right. HANRATTY Okay. there’s something that still bugs me. We owe each other that much. BOP-BOP JUST KEEP 'EM GUESSING SHOO-BEE DOO-WOP. I think you want the rest of the story. Frank. to himself:) FRANK JUNIOR I loved you. FRANK JUNIOR I don’t believe you. Brenda. I GOTTA STORY THAT'S STRANGE BUT TRUE ENSEMBLE SHOO-BEE DOO-WOP. too. Or whatever you're calling yourself today … wait … where am I going? (Hanratty disappears down the center elevator lift) FRANK JUNIOR WHAT'S IN A NAME? JUST WINDOW DRESSING SHOO-BEE DOO-WOP. Now. I wouldn’t do this for anyone but you. Hanratty I’ll make you a deal. will you wait for me over there? I'll let you know when it's time. BOP-BOP MIX AND MATCH ME TRY TO CATCH ME IF YOU CAN OH. Frank. you’re one of the stars. How’d you pass the bar exam? In New Orleans? How’d you cheat the bar? FRANK JUNIOR All right Mr. Listen. And you’ll have a full confession. (Hanratty has had enough. don’tcha think? I’ll get to tell my story. wait a minute. BRENDA Frank.7 FRANK JUNIOR Hi. I don't want to hear any more. I've got this show to do and you're gonna be in it. I've heard all I can hear. In fact. You let me finish. BOP-BOP . deal. BOP-BOP EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT IT'S THE CLOTHES THAT MAKE THE MAN CLOTHES THAT MAKE THE MAN PLAY THE GAME SHOO-BEE DOO-WOP. BRENDA Frank. Frank Junior watches.) HANRATTY All right. And says. FRANK JUNIOR You're gonna be great.
) . The Abagnale home. The ensemble break their tableaux and dance in the background as Frank Junior speaks to us — our host. New Rochelle. and the Ensemble comes forward—and set the stage for the Abagnale home. New York.8 I GOTTA STORY THAT'S STRANGE BUT TRUE SO COME FLY WITH ME FOR A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW SO COME FLY WITH ME FOR A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW I'VE GOT THE WORLD AT MY COMMAND I'VE GOT THE WORLD AT MY COMMAND AND I'LL BE YOUR ONE-MAN DISNEYLAND AND I'LL BE YOUR ONE-MAN DISNEYLAND I DON’T WANNA WAIT FOR THE COPS TO ARRIVE I WANNA TELL MY STORY LIVE AND IN LIVING COLOR LIVE IN LIVING COLOR TUNE ME IN AND TURN ME ON. (MUSIC begins again. 1964. YES I'M LIVE IN LIVING COLOR TUNE ME IN AND TURN ME ON. YES I'M LIVE IN LIVING COLOR BLINK YOUR EYES AND I'LL BE GONE. A beautiful house on the best street.) FRANK JUNIOR Ladies and gentlemen. YES I'M LIVE IN LIVING COLOR BLINK YOUR EYES BLINK YOUR EYES AND I'LL BE GONE LIVE IN LIVING COLOR LIVE IN LIVING COLOR LIVE IN LIVING COLOR BLINK YOUR EYES BE GONE! SONG ENDS. (Frank Junior goes.) SONG: LIVE IN LIVING COLOR (TAG) ENSEMBLE LIVE IN LIVING COLOR TUNE ME IN AND TURN ME ON LIVE IN LIVING COLOR BLINK YOUR EYES AND I’LL BE GONE (As we complete the TRANSITION TO . our story begins on Christmas Eve. The house everyone wanted... and the family everyone wanted to be.
. Frank.) FRANK JUNIOR Wow Dad. I DO have dinner going(But she starts to dance with him. . and the dancers move to the background and then disappear. a television set. is still with the television. C’mon – dance with me. Frank Jr. right there .9 Scene 1: Living Room. PAULA It truly is a beautiful tree. FRANK SENIOR It’s that Abagnale magic. PAULA Frank. and a used Ford? FRANK SENIOR Can I strike a bargain or what? I left those guys with their heads spinning. PAULA But – so that I understand – you left this morning with a Cadillac and two hundred dollars and come home with a Christmas tree. Frank Junior is watching a small color television set.) ENSEMBLE (ON TV) LIVE IN LIVING COLOR … LIVE IN LIVING COLOR … SONG ENDS. and the SINGERS fade from house speakers to the television set—they're on the show Frank Junior is watching. PAULA I think I know the feeling.one hundred percent acrylic. The Abagnale House. Paula opens the Christmas Tree. FRANK SENIOR It’s the genuine spirit of real Christmas.. Frank Senior watches her. FRANK SENIOR How about that thirteen-inch screen? FRANK JUNIOR It’s like Andy Williams is right here in our living room. New Rochelle (. you're right—everything is better in color.
) FRANK JUNIOR That’s great you got the loan. You remember this story.R. FRANK SENIOR Listen to me. Two little mice fell into a bucket of cream. The account's in your name.S. FRANK JUNIOR Thanks. Dad. A house. It’s all a dance – swap the Caddy for the Ford. investigation. And this means from this day on. Don't tell your mother. why did you — FRANK SENIOR One day you’re gonna want something from these people. (hands him a checkbook. FRANK JUNIOR You didn’t – but I thought you saidFRANK SENIOR I got something better. FRANK JUNIOR Oh. PAULA (pulls away) I really should see to dinner.) Fifty checks. it’s just a technicality. Frankie.10 FRANK SENIOR Nothing’s too good for my boy or my bride. you're in their little club. FRANK SENIOR Shh. FRANK SENIOR And who are we? . use the extra cash to pay the mortgage. use the loan to tide the business over until you can get the Caddy back. Dad. use the mortgage to leverage the bank loan. didn’t those guys know you were getting away with something? FRANK SENIOR People only know what you tell them. I put twenty-five dollars in it so you can buy whatever you want. They won't loan to anyone under I. I didn’t get the loan. FRANK JUNIOR But Dad. FRANK JUNIOR But why didn't they give you the loan? FRANK SENIOR Ah. (She goes. There’s always another move to make. But if they didn't give you the loan. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned. a car. He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into butter … FRANK SENIOR AND FRANK JUNIOR … and he climbed out. The second mouse wouldn't quit. They have all the money.
THOSE LADIES GAVE THANKS TO US VISITING YANKS CAUSE THE PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT THEY SEE (Frank Senior is joined by a bevy of BEAUTIFUL GIRLS in Yankee pinstripes. The Dodgers were so scared they had to leave town. mesmerized.) The other teams just stand there. my dad—Frank . As a matter of fact. (MUSIC. You know why the Yankees win all the time? It's not the Mick. staring at the pinstripes. Abagnale . It's the uniform. you know what ? We're going downtown to buy you your Christmas present. Senior! FRANK SENIOR WHEN A PILOT WALKS ONTO THE PLANE ALL THE PASSENGERS SMILE AND RELAX DO THEY SEE HE’S STILL TIGHT FROM THAT PARTY LAST NIGHT AND THE BACK TO BACK “JACKS”? STEWED TO THE MAX FRANK SENIOR NO!. We're gonna be fine.11 FRANK JUNIOR We're the second mouse. the smartest man I know. FRANK SENIOR Damn straight we are. SONG: THE PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT THEY SEE FRANK SENIOR WHEN YOUR MOTHER WALKED INTO THAT DANCEHALL IN MONTRICHARD WHAT DID SHE SEE? THROUGH THE HAZE OF CHAMPAGNE DID SHE NOTICE MY BRAIN OR MY COLLEGE DEGREE? KID.. A brand new Botany 500 suit. pausing as needed) Ladies and gentlemen. WHAT SHE SAW … WAS THE UNIFORM! THROUGH THE DIRT AND DEBRIS YEAH. that’s too expensive. It's not Joe Pepitone. FRANK SENIOR Frankie.. The man with all the moves..) FRANK JUNIOR (to us. Frank Junior comes downstage: our host.. WHAT THEY SEE IS THE UNIFORM HOW IT FITS TO A TEE LIKE THAT VISITING TEAM THAT THE YANKEES WILL CREAM THE PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT THEY SEE BEAUTIFUL GIRLS OOOOOOOH SMILE AND RELAX SMILE AND RELAX . FRANK JUNIOR Dad.
MUSIC CONTINUES as we CONTINUE TO:) . and he emerges dressed smartly in his prep-school blazer.) IF YOU WANNA BE A SOMEONE YOU CAN’T LOOK LIKE A BUM A BOOK’S JUDGED BY IT’S COVER THAT’S THE FIRST RULE OF THUMB I WANNA SEE YA TAKE OFF STRAIGHT TO THE TOP FLOOR START DRESSIN’ TO IMPRESS ‘EM SON YOU'LL STROLL IN THE FRONT DOOR A KID IN A MAN’S CANDY STORE … (As Frank Junior speaks to us.12 (The Beautiful Girls surround Frank Junior. Jack goes to Frank Senior and shakes his hand. Jack Barnes and Paula enter. Paula comes to Frank Junior. not quite separately.
) . Frank Senior and Paula are with a dour female PRINCIPAL. what's the Flash without his suit? Anyway.? (The two students LAUGH and move past him.I. He is met by a JOCK and a NERD) FRANK JUNIOR 'Scuse me. You aren't afraid of anything. (Lights change. And. You do what you have to do. Vite. and goes.) JOCK Yeah. like a substitute teacher or somethin'. Dad'll get back on his feet and I'll be back at St. You're going to public school now. Francis before you know it. FRANK JUNIOR I'm used to it.. is this room 17 French? NERD (checking his outfit) Who wants to know? The F. PAULA My brave little soldier. Comme tu es beau! (She sighs. Jack Barnes. PAULA Well. Mom. you don't have to wear your school blazer. He looks like a . public school is only for now. Vite.13 Scene 2: New Rochelle High School FRANK JUNIOR Everybody loved my dad.B. (STINGER. Frank Junior looks at us and smiles.. Frank Junior heads to school. FRANK JUNIOR I’ll be fine. I mean. the head of the Chamber of Commerce. called him— FRANK JUNIOR AND JACK BARNES —the most popular businessman in New Rochelle! PAULA Frankie. kisses him on the cheek. you do look handsome. the Jock accidentally-on-purpose bumping Frank Junior and sending him stumbling. Vite.) FRANK JUNIOR Shouldn’t you boys be in class? Depechez-vous.
outside the Principal's office. We lost our house— FRANK SENIOR (smoothly cuts her off) Principal Owings.) PAULA Frankie … Je ne peux pas. There's been so much change. PAULA He what? PRINCIPAL Your son has been pretending to be a substitute teacher. Frank Senior LAUGHS.) PAULA You have to forgive him. WE’RE GONNA HIT THE HIGH-LIFE WE’VE ONLY JUST BEGUN WE’RE GONNA BE TOGETHER FRANK SENIOR AND SON DINE AT “THE LATIN QUARTER” A NIGHTCAP AT “TOOTS SHOR” YEAH. And Frank Junior LAUGHS.14 PRINCIPAL OWINGS Mr. and was planning a class field trip to a French Fry Factory in Trenton. who exits opposite. putting on his hat. who slowly meets his gaze. (Frank Junior waits. PRINCIPAL Well. Paula goes to Frank Junior. (But she takes it. Looks like it was made for you. Is it yours? (He pulls a locket necklace from his pocket. FRANK SENIOR You must have dropped it. I found this necklace on the floor. Frank Senior takes her place. Your son held three teacher-parent conferences yesterday. please. Frank has been teaching Mrs. giving out homework. Abagnale.) PAULA Frank. I regret to inform you that for the past week. (She shakes her head again and goes.) FRANK SENIOR French fry factory?! (Finally.) FRANK SENIOR AND FRANK JUNIOR YEAH. Glaser's French class. As Frank Senior shakes hands with the Principal. Looks at his son. and Mrs. on my way in from the outer office. Lecturing the students. Mister Abagnale. WE’RE GONNA BE AT RINGSIDE LIFE WILL BE BETTER THAN BEFORE FOR TWO KIDS IN A MAN’S CANDY STORE . nervously.
(Frank Senior claps his son on the shoulder and goes. Frank Junior moves to follow, but sees BETTY.) FRANK JUNIOR Hi. BETTY Hi. Is the Principal in her office? I need to give her this note from my mother, excusing me from sixth period. FRANK JUNIOR You should fold it. It's more believable that way. BETTY No, this really is a note from my mother. FRANK JUNIOR What's the first thing you do when your mother hands you a note? You fold it up and put it in your pocket. (A half-beat, and Betty folds the note.) BETTY Thanks. I'm Betty. FRANK JUNIOR Frank. BETTY Nice jacket. (She plants an impulsive kiss on his cheek, and goes. He swoons and sings.) WHAT THEY SEE IS THE UNIFORM JUST ASK ONE MAITRE D’ OR A TAILOR IN PARIS GO ASK ROGER MARIS! THE PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT THEY SEE (Frank Junior dances his way home as we TRANSITION TO ...)
Scene 3: The Abagnale Apartment, Downtown New Rochelle (... and as Frank Junior dances right on in the door, his mother and father dance on opposite. But with a turn, in an instant, we see that it's not his father. It's JACK BARNES. And Frank Junior sees this, and they see him. MUSIC STOPS suddenly.) SONG ENDS. FRANK JUNIOR Mom, Dad I met this girl – PAULA Frankie! You remember your father's friend, Jack Barnes? FRANK JUNIOR Hello. JACK BARNES Frank. Good to see you. Paula … I … Take care. (He grabs his hat and goes. Frank Junior is silent.) PAULA Are you hungry, Frankie? I'll make you a sandwich. (Frank Junior doesn't move.) Frankie? (No answer.) You're not going to tell him. FRANK JUNIOR No. PAULA That's right. There's nothing to tell. I'm going out for a few hours to visit some old friends from the tennis club, and when I get back, we'll all have dinner together, right? (Frank Junior rubs his eyes. Paula gets her pocketbook.) Do you need some money, Frankie? A few dollars to buy some comic books? Here, take two. (She stuffs two dollar bills in his pants pocket. He doesn’t acknowledge her. Then …) FRANK JUNIOR Two hundred soldiers in that tiny social hall, and you ... you ... PAULA I was sixteen years old when I met your father. I was your age. How could I know what I wanted? Dites donc?
FRANK JUNIOR You wanted him. PAULA I did, once. And I wanted to get out of France. And I wanted to have a child. (She reaches for him, but he pulls away.) (considers him, then) It was a long time ago, Frankie. Believe me, one day you'll look at yourself, and you won't be who you were. (He turns away from her and walks into his bedroom: piles of comic books, a "Flash" bedspread. He takes his jacket off and tosses it.) SONG: SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN FRANK JUNIOR THERE’S NO PHONE BOOTH THERE’S NO CAPE THERE’S NO STEVE MCQUEEN TO HELP ME MAKE MY GREAT ESCAPE HOW CAN I FLY LIKE A HERO IN THE SKY BE A SHOOTING STAR OUT IN THE STRATOSPHERE WHERE’S “THE SHADOW”? HE MIGHT KNOW WHERE’S THAT SEARCHLIGHT IN THE SKY TO POINT THE WAY TO GO? THROUGH SOME NEW CLOUD TO DISAPPEAR INTO THE CROWD THOUGH THE FUTURE’S DARK THERE’S ONE THING CRYSTAL CLEAR THAT THERE’S NO HOME HERE … (MUSIC CONTINUES as we TRANSITION TO:)
I’ve got no room to move here. Frankie.) JUDGE Son. FRANK JUNIOR RULES OF THE ROAD SAY DON’T LOOK BACK EYES STRAIGHT AHEAD. It's going to be okay. New Rochelle (The Family Court Judge appears with Frank Senior and Paula . overlapping. as Frank Junior sings to us. FRANK JUNIOR IT’S LIKE A GAME WHERE EITHER TEAM I LOSE FRANK SENIOR Frankie. Do what you have to do. and as the bedroom goes away. Frank Junior comes downstage for that "break-in-a-ballad" confessional moment.. people fighting over their children. Nobody's fighting. with their lawyers.. and this will all be over. and the judge. FRANK JUNIOR THIS KINDA NOISE JUST MAKES ME WANNA SHOUT PAULA My brave little soldier.) FRANK JUNIOR SO MANY VOICES TELLING ME TO CHOOSE JUDGE The court can decide these things. (. We just need a name. (The adults continue. just give them a name. FRANK JUNIOR I’D LIKE TO BUY A ONE-WAY TICKET OUT FRANK SENIOR I’m sorry.) FRANK JUNIOR (to us) One day the principal pulls me out of class and drives me to the Courthouse. but it's better if the family does. Look at me.. JUDGE It can get very expensive. listen to me. Your mother or your father.. I walk in and I see my parents up front.18 Scene 4: Family Court and Train Station. DON’T JUMP THE TRACK TRY A NEW GAME AND PRAY THAT I CAN WIN . PAULA Nobody's fighting. Frankie. Doesn't tell me why.
and speaks rapidly. MUSIC CHANGES. You have two. Maintain eye contact. RAILROAD AGENT Round trip is five dollars. using a nifty bit of sleight-of-hand. or in this case my money back. Misdirection.) — and I spin some tale about meeting my grandmother at Idlewild while I ask for my change. Frank Junior turns and runs. isolating Frank Junior. please. so I didn't really know what I was doing.) COMMUTERS HOO-HOO. what? FRANK JUNIOR — but I keep talking.19 'CAUSE I JUST DON'T FEEL AT HOME IN MINE SO I'LL SLIP NOW INTO SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN (And as the music hits a driving groove. Keep talking. MUSIC CHANGES. but:) RAILROAD AGENT Hold it! FRANK JUNIOR What? . And I take my money back from the ticket seller and I make it disappear — (He does. HOO HOO (The RAILROAD AGENT appars and Frank Junior approaches. and waiting for my change. Lights change. as the Railroad Agent continues as if Frank Junior is still just in the scene with him. so now I have four dollars which is enough for my one way ticket to Manhattan. I just knew I had to get out. One way is three. He looks at us. because I don't plan on coming back— (The Railroad Agent takes the money from Frank Junior. COMMUTERS hurrying to and fro.) FRANK JUNIOR Okay. and he gives me two dollars. (The Railroad Agent holds up the bills. who turns to go. He holds out a couple of crumpled bills) FRANK JUNIOR One for Grand Central Station. and I'm not proud of this but my instincts took over. without pause. Frank is on the street. even though he doesn't owe me any change — RAILROAD AGENT Wait. The Family Court disappears. and in his confusion he thinks he owes me change.
(MUSIC CONTINUES as we TRANSITION TO:) OO-OO-OO FULL OF TEARS COMMUTERS RUN DOWN THE STREET RUN OUT OF TOWN RUN FROM THE BOOKS 'CAUSE IT'S ALL BEEN A FAKE AH AH AH AH TODAY HOO-HOO HOO-HOO AH-AH AH-AH AH-AH AH-AH SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN. SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN. . SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN. I had to find a way out. SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN. and this is the way I found.20 RAILROAD AGENT Your ticket. The New Haven line. and I chose.. Like I said. SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN. but you do what you have to do. I'm not proud of it.) They wanted me to choose . FRANK JUNIOR Thanks. the ten-fifteen to New York City! FRANK JUNIOR RUN DOWN THE STREET RUN OUT OF TOWN I'M GONNA RUN FROM THE HOME TEAM AND NEVER TOUCH DOWN RUN FROM THE BOOKS 'CAUSE IT'S ALL BEEN A FAKE I'M GONNA RUN FROM THE CHOICES THAT I DON'T WANNA MAKE SCHOOL'S NOT OUT BUT I CAN'T WAIT IT'S THE PERFECT TIME TO GRADUATE TODAY I'VE GOTTA RUN AWAY NOW I'VE GOT TO RUN AWAY I KNOW THEY'LL SEE THE TRUTH WHEN I MOVE ON THEY'LL NEED EACH OTHER MUCH MORE ONCE I'M GONE AND WHEN I'M FLUSH AND HE'S BACK ON HIS FEET I'LL PICK HIM UP AND RIDE DOWN EASY STREET NO TIME TO CRY FOR ALL THE YEARS A RUSTY GAS TANK FULL OF TEARS GETS YOU NOWHERE NOT THE PLACES I WANT IN AND I JUST DON'T FEEL AT HOME IN MINE SO I'LL SLIP NOW INTO SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN. (MUSIC STARTS TO BUILD as he continues. Track Two.. SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN.
and three ATTRACTIVE ASSISTANTS come dancing in. Because a sixteen-year-old cashing a check or opening an account by himself— SWISS ARMY KNIFE ASSISTANT (with Swiss Army knife) —gets a lot of questions! FRANK JUNIOR Higgins brand Genuine Original India Ink flows easily through your pen or brush—a few dabs on your license. SWISS ARMY KNIFE A SNIP. ATTRACTIVE ASSISTANT #1 Or William Taylor. A DAB. And if Frank Taylor wears out his welcome— ELMER’S GLUE ASSISTANT (with Elmer's Glue) You can be Frank Adams! ATTRACTIVE ASSISTANT #2 Or Frank Conners. Manhattan (On applause from SOMEONE ELSE’S SKIN. A TOUCH OF GLUE THREE ASSISTANTS AND YOU’LL BE GOOD TO GO FRANK JUNIOR BIG THANKS TO ALL OUR SPONSORS! INDIA INK ELMER’S GLUE .21 Scene 5: Chase Bank. and you're officially Frank Taylor Junior. a word from our sponsors! (He gestures.) FRANK JUNIOR And now. (Three ATTRACTIVE ASSISTANTS bring in the products as Frank describes them. A FOURTH ATTRACTIVE ASSISTANT holds Frank’s briefcase for him) Swiss Army Penknives can help you alter the age on your driver's license. ladies and gentlemen. With a pair of scissors you can cut and paste names from other documents. Frank Junior comes downstage to speak to us.) These great products can help you survive your first few weeks in New York with just fifty checks and a driver's license. INDIA INK ASSISTANT (with bottle of ink) And no one can tell the difference! FRANK JUNIOR Elmer's Glue is perfect for the craftsperson of any age who needs to change their name. you're ten years older.
in his charming fashion. HANRATTY (Hanratty comes downstage to us. But Hanratty stays and keeps speaking to us. BANK TELLER If you'd like to leave us your home phone number. is the fact that in just a few short months this guy had soaked just about every branch of Chase Manhattan in the five boroughs and in northern New Jersey.) HANRATTY He didn’t know his bad checks were on my desk. (Frank Junior is before DIANE. thanks for stopping by. He was the Johnny Appleseed of fraud. FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty. BANK TELLER I'm sorry. the Bank Teller at a counter. Mister Taylor.I. we can hold on to this— (Frank Junior drops the necklace in his valise. He didn’t know that his clock was ticking. and dropped rubber in just about every hotel. FRANK JUNIOR Say. We can’t cash this. grocery store.22 THREE ASSISTANTS NOW. FRANK JUNIOR Ladies and Gentlemen! It’s our very special guest star. BANK TELLER I'm sorry. Mister Hanratty. He didn’t know his mother had filed a missing-persons report.) DIANE. He opened accounts all over the tri-state area. I know. backs away.B. slides the check off the counter. and dry cleaners from here to Hoboken. RIGHT BACK TO THE SHOW! (As the Assistants dance off Stage Left. we have new restrictions on cashing checks. HANRATTY (shows us) Seems someone put out an F.) What he’s leaving out folks.) . Mister Taylor. I found this on the sidewalk out front. Diane. Very entertaining. (He escorts Hanratty toward the wings. we’re going to be seeing him of him in just a bit but right now there’s a much more exciting turn of events. Hanratty enters from Stage Right) HANRATTY I know. then leaves him to join a BANK TELLER. and I think it might be yours— HANRATTY It's not. bulletin. Very good.
(comes down to talk to us) Trying to put it all together. he’s still stuck at his desk.) LIVE IN LIVING COLOR (Reprise) FRANK JUNIOR AND THOUGH I’M LIVE IN LIVING COLOR AT THE FBI THE SHOW’S IN BLACK AND WHITE. (Hanratty freezes. FRANK JUNIOR Then why didn’t he catch me? HANRATTY Only a matter of time.) HANRATTY He’s going to try six more banks—same story. onto Hanratty and into the open elevator traps. but Hanratty stops him. He and I don’t even meet face to face for months yet. See.23 FRANK JUNIOR You know. For an appointment. (He backs away.) FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty’s jumping ahead. thank you. when my first fifty checks ran out. I bought a little printing press and I made my own. (MUSIC. Mister Hanratty and his team were trying to find my trail. but I'm late. While I was producing more rubber than a tire factory. Frank Junior sings. We were on him. Right now. and a load of black and white checks rain down from the flies. . (He drops a colorful check. With my stockbroker.
B. Don’t you remember how they razzed you? HANRATTY Yes. and you stack them ten high. Agent Branton. the next time we tell you to move file boxes. And cars. BRANTON Come on. Dollar. North Atlantic region — thank you very much — we will do the job until it’s done. BRANTON Shouldn’t you be in another department? Like maybe daycare? DOLLAR I was auditing background checks for the Library of Congress and I asked for a transfer. I requested something where I could use my gun. Dollar. even if it means we drop dead at our desks and our fossilized bones are discovered in some archeological dig in the twenty-first century. and DOLLAR are drowning in checks and we hear:) COD Dollar! What have you done! BRANTON Yeah. COD C’mon Hanratty it’s 4:45. and it’s an experience I see no reason to repeat. and see how that works out for you. I like guns. COD. by the way.I. we have three or four major-league paperhangers somewhere in this mess. Thanksgiving or no Thanksgiving. Come on. We always give the rookies a hard time. HANRATTY (shudders) How about Shelley Winters? She’s loud and fast.) DOLLAR He got you there.24 Scene 6: F. Hanratty. (The men laugh. BRANTON That’s easy for you to say. Hanratty. And. Office The elevators begin to lift the FBI office into view. Now listen. go home for lunch one of these days. HANRATTY Listen — We do the job because it's the job and as long as I'm Interim Second Assistant Special Agent in Charge of the Bank Fraud and Forgery Subdivision. basically. I know that this job is not as exciting as fieldwork. HANRATTY Low blow. Agents BRANTON. unannounced. Some of us still have wives. could you make sure you’re under them when they fall? DOLLAR Whoops! HANRATTY Leave the kid alone. or counter-intelligence— . Anything loud or fast. It’s Thanksgiving. so we are going to sort it out.
Frank Taylor must've got his hands on a MICR encoder. And that means there must be thousands more checks just like this out there – more bum checks than a Prague prison! (A second load of checks drops. HANRATTY —and maybe nobody knows you're down here. HANRATTY Look at these two. he does. Frank Junior returns and the men sweep the checks onto the lifts as we TRANSITION TO:) . He knows.) And no Hanukah either. DOLLAR You mean those numbers at the bottom the check actually mean something? HANRATTY They mean that Frank Taylor and Frank Williams and William Franklin are the same person. and that’s the sad thing. a check that was cashed in New York gets rerouted all the way to San Francisco and it’s weeks before the bank that cashed it knows they’re bad. and you will. COD + DOLLAR Nooooo! HANRATTY And that means no Christmas for you MICR mouse.) BRANTON. But he does. Look here. now this is interesting (more music under). (MUSIC. (looks at the other check) And Frank Williams too. They mean that he can stay in one place and write bad checks for weeks and weeks. Oh yeah. The one you're after.25 COD Or a long. (He points at Cod. Magnetic Ink Character Recognition. the day you slap those cuffs on him and watch them haul him away (music under) —oh. This is very. If you change a zero-two to a one-two. DOLLAR Micker? Micker Mouse? COD Who the hell is Micker Mouse? HANRATTY MICR! MICR! M-I-C-R. very interesting. Jiminy Christmas. And the day you catch him. BRANTON I know you think so. slow death. He’s changing the MICR numbers on the checks.
) STEWARDESS #3 (LINDY) Oh! Excuse me. and destiny came walking out those revolving doors... agape. there . FRANK JUNIOR "We all. (She continues past him. And Frank Junior ) FRANK JUNIOR Well. My clock was ticking. Now I was really good . Manhattan.) FRANK JUNIOR Oh!! Excuse me. all in the same Pan Am outfit. He bobs and weaves as they move through.. (to us) Are you seeing this? (STEWARDESS #3 bumps him on her way by . isn't it? STEWARDESS #2 (MINDY) We all have evening flights. He almost collides with a beautiful young Pan Am STEWARDESS emerging.. and in the Skies (As soon as the deck is clear..26 Scene 7: Outside the Tudor Hotel. travel bags in hand.?" (A parade of STEWARDESSES. (MUSIC. . satchels in hand. I—excuse me—whoops!—hello. nothing more..) FRANK JUNIOR Oh.) STEWARDESS #1 (CINDY) That’s quite all right. FRANK JUNIOR Kinda late to be checking out. at passing bad checks. (He takes her measure. I went walking past the Tudor Hotel on 42nd Street. I'd always wanted to be good at something.. and the shelf life was getting shorter.) STEWARDESS #2 (MINDY) Excuse me. A SECOND STEWARDESS comes through the door. But unfortunately he was right. . that should keep Mister Hanratty busy for a while. I was a crook. as Frank watches. But then one day. the elevators begin to sink out of sight. march in through the door.
He smiles at us. I've been training as a pilot. Cindy. the other Stewardesses join her.) Excuse me. I like to call them . (She pulls a business card from her bust. Terri. Tell him Cindy sent you. Talk to Jerry Taylor. Nellie. Lindy. Mindy. and Jane.27 FRANK JUNIOR No . then the third time's the charm:) Here it is. Sherrie. Um. Here. Shellie. "The Jet Set... telling Frank Junior how it is. miss .. Miss Cindy. (Frank Junior steps downstage: our host.. Karrie..) MINDY JUST LEFT WISCONSIN WHERE THERE'S CHEESE ENOUGH TO START THIS RAT RACE CINDY BUT THANKS TO THE BROTHERS WRIGHT CINDY + MINDY WE DON'T KNOW WHERE WE'LL SLEEP TONIGHT . It's the wrong one. Is Pan Am hiring? STEWARDESS #1 (CINDY) Aren't you sweet.) FRANK JUNIOR (to us.. Who are you all waiting for? THE STEWARDESSES The pilots." SONG: THE JET SET CINDY WOKE UP IN BROOKLYN WITH A FROWN UPON MY FACE (One by one. STINGER. FRANK JUNIOR Thank you. She pulls another. (Frank Junior blinks. our host:) Ladies and gentlemen. Tell me—is flying everything it's cracked up to be? STEWARDESS #1 (CINDY) The only thing better than flying—is what happens on the ground. then at her. VP of personnel. excuse me. Kelly.
and he takes out a camera and a notebook. A PAN AM EXECUTIVE enters. like this one here from Pan Am. TIME TO PLAY I'LL PUT DOWN ROOTS SOME OTHER DAY SHELLIE NO NEED TO BE A LONELY JOE STEWARDESSES THE JET-SET IS THE SHELLIE ONLY WAY TO GO (One Stewardess pulls a pair of horn-rimmed glasses from her satchel and puts them on Frank Junior. sure. For instance. Another Stewardess opens her satchel. jumpin' puddles for the weak and weary?" PAN AM EXECUTIVE Means they've been flying the same plane. I want to know everything there is to know about being a Pan Am pilot. now a high school kid) Yes sir.) PAN AM EXECUTIVE So you're the kid writing the article for the school paper? FRANK JUNIOR (turns to him.28 CINDY YEAH. sir! Can I get a picture? PAN EXEC Oh. I'M A BIRD IN THE SKIES MINDY AND TOMORROW WHEN I RISE LINDY I'LL WAKE UP IN PARIS WITH A NEW LOVE IN MY HEART JANE OR MAYBE GERMANY WITH THAT BRAND NEW PET I MET IN STUTTGART KELLIE SKIES THE LIMIT. "I've been on the same equipment all week.D. . FRANK JUNIOR Thank you for your time. Frank Black from Monroe High School. It's an airline personnel badge. badges that I've seen pilots wear? PAN AM EXEC Every pilot has to have it with him at all times. FRANK JUNIOR And what about those I. short flights. mostly commuters. what does it mean when one pilot says to another pilot.
glue. aren't ya? FRANK JUNIOR I get that a lot. and goes to work making a Pan Am Badge.) STEWARDESSES WOULD’JA LIKE NEW MUSIC AND MYSTERY EACH AND EVERYDAY LOSE THE SAME OLD MUSIC AND HIST’RY MAKE A NEW FRIEND THEN FLY AWAY (One Stewardess brings Frank Junior an in-flight cart with familiar sponsor products: Penknife.) FRANK JUNIOR Got it! (The Executive goes and the Stewardesses are back. TAILOR Awfully young to be a pilot. TAILOR Why so nervous? FRANK JUNIOR How would you feel if you lost your uniform your first week on the job? . Frank holds up a blank piece of paper.) FRANK JUNIOR My Pan Am pilot's badge! How cool is that? A TAILOR enters.) STEWARDESSES (CONT'D) AND … WAKE UP IN TEXAS WHERE THEY TREAT THEIR WOMEN RIGHT AND THEN TRY HOLLYWOOD WHERE THE STARS GET LIT OUT IN BROAD DAYLIGHT ANY CITY. scissors.29 (Frank Junior points the camera right at his ID badge. NEAR OR FAR FEELS TWICE AS GOOD AS WHERE YOU ARE WHEN YOU’RE SICK OF THE STATUS QUO THE JET-SET IS THE ONLY WAY TO GO … (Frank Junior holds up his completed badge. FLASH. India ink. measuring tape and note pad in hand. I'm just a co-pilot.
.. (He pulls out a form and begins to fill it out. Just need your employee number. they'll take it out of your next paycheck. JUST STAY HOME BUT. to count spaces for numbers:) FRANK JUNIOR Sure. SO FLY! (Frank Junior joins them. I hear you. Four .) TAILOR Great! I'll bill Pan Am. FRANK JUNIOR That’s why Pan Am will always be around.. the Tailor nods.. It's.(?) Four (?) Five.30 TAILOR Ah. A HAYRIDE? THEN KIDDO. GREEK OR JAPANESE ALL STEWARDESSES A STEWARDESS IS TRAINED TO PLEASE ALL SO IF YOU’VE GOT WHAT IT TAKES BELOW WELL THEN FLY THIS BIRD LIKE CUPID’S BOW CAUSE THE JET SET'S JUST A HOLIDAY YEAH THE JET SET GOES UP. no cash. FRANK JUNIOR Can I write you a check? TAILOR No—no checks.) ALL PILOTS WOULD’JA LIKE A SLEIGH RIDE. A stunning sight. finished. and Frank Junior pulls it back. (Frank Junior and the Tailor go as the PILOTS enter with Stewardesses. UP AND AWAY . IF YOU WANT JET-SET THEN GET SET TO LEAVE BEHIND KANSAS THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE ROME ALL STEWARDESSES WAKE UP IN RIO HAVE YOUR COFFEE IN BRAZIL EVERYONE WHEN REAL LIFE GETS YOU DOWN TAKE A FAR-OUT. cap and aviators on. Three. Frank tries to read it upside down. Six. That'll be one forty-three ninety-seven.(?) S— (But before he gets the next number out. One.) . his uniform at last perfect. ONE-WAY TRIP TO SPLITZVILLE ALL PILOTS SWEDISH.
(MUSIC begins again. Frank comes down center to take the elevator down. .31 FRANK JUNIOR RIGHT DOWN TO IT'LY FOR LA BELLA FEMINA JUMP IN A FOUNTAIN STEWARDESSES WOO! ALL FOR A BIG DOSE OF LA DOLCE VITA FRANK JUNIOR IF YOUR TASTES RUN MORE RISQUÉ TWO STEWARDESSES WELL THEN. As the others exit. NEXT STOP IS LOVE ALL FROM TIMBUKTU TO TOKYO FROM MOZAMBIQUE TO MEXICO THE JET SET IS THE ONLY WAY TO GO FRANK JUNIOR BABBADA BOP BOOP BAH BADOOBA DOO-OH! SONG ENDS. The doors open and off steps Cheryl Ann – getting off the elevator of the St. Regis Hotel. WE KNOW A JOINT IN OLD BOMBAY ALL SO HANG ON TIGHT LET’S LOOP DE LOOP IT’S TIME TO FLY THIS CHICKEN COOP SO PACK UP YOUR SUITCASE CHECK YOUR WORRIES AT THE GATE COME OUT AND PLAY BOY CRUISE THE WORLD TO FIND YOUR PERFECT PLAYMATE FRANK JUNIOR THINGS LOOK BETTER FROM ABOVE SO BUCKLE UP.
. I really don't know. FRANK JUNIOR Sure — you're that model! Cheryl Ann—something—in the Plaza.) CHERYL ANN So. What's a night worth? With me? FRANK JUNIOR I — gosh.32 Scene 8: The St. FRANK JUNIOR Call me Frank. in your room? FRANK JUNIOR I think I do. FRANK JUNIOR Don’t I know you from somewhere? CHERYL ANN Maybe.. she starts removing her outer garments. a few years ago. CHERYL ANN Frank. I was on the cover of Seventeen . Cheryl. Regis Hotel.. (As they head up the stairs. Are you going to make me an offer? FRANK JUNIOR I'm sorry — an offer for what? CHERYL ANN A man like you can buy anything he wants. Three hundred? (She closes her coat and heads back to the elevator. Manhattan CHERYL ANN Nice uniform. . Could I get your autograph? CHERYL ANN Do you have a pen .) Five hundred? (She gets on the elevator) A thousand dollars? (She stops the elevator doors from closing) CHERYL ANN One thousand dollars.. Um. Captain.
FRANK JUNIOR Even better.. CHERYL ANN (inspecting it) Endorse it over to me. She hands him the check and the cash as they disappear together down the elevator lift) .. CHERYL ANN You think this hotel is going to cash a thousand dollar check at three a. and I'll give you four hundred dollars. (MUSIC. FRANK JUNIOR It's for fourteen hundred...? FRANK JUNIOR (pulls one out) They've done it for me before. (pulling cash from her bust) .33 FRANK JUNIOR I have to cash a check. CHERYL ANN You give me the check . It's a cashier's check.m.
This job is about just one guy. FBI Training Ground. or sneaking off for quickies with the secretaries on three. Believe it. .k. William Franklin. He's been honing his craft for years. He's making the rules. Hanratty. It’s not about punching the clock waiting for retirement. COD Jesus. He will. HANRATTY Judas Priest. No. ) BRANTON Hanratty. Sixtyish.a. if shooting people is anything like target practice. And if our UnSub thinks he can hide there he’s sorely mistaken. Or the women. boys. I didn't feel a thing.34 Scene 9: A Firing Range. Quantico. Frank Taylor a. He’s out there somewhere.a. You want to arrest him or hire him? HANRATTY I see him in my sleep. Barcelona. He is taunting me. HANRATTY This guy's just a forger like Mickey Mantle is just a hitter. The last bad checks came from Liechtenstein. Or the wine. a virtuoso. BRANTON But we can't fix a location on him. A paperhanger. One day he's in Dallas. (Bullets WHIZ and DING and they duck for cover. it's very disappointing. COD He’s gone global. why the hell'd you drag us out to Quantico? This guy’s a pen and ink man. He's a true talent. Hanratty. tall. Frank Williams a. The next he's in Stuttgart. salt-and-pepper. COD C’mon. But they always make a mistake. VA (As Frank Junior leaves with Cheryl Ann. he is toying with me. Years I tell you. There’s no way the Bureau’s gonna give us travel money for Liechtenwhatsit. He probably doesn’t even carry a gun. It's the overconfidence. Hanratty. HANRATTY We’re getting closer to this guy and you need to bone up on some of the skills you’ve let slide sitting in that basement sipping peppermint schnapps out of your coffee cup. Dollar! This job is not about shooting at people. BRANTON It’s just forgery. Where the hell is Liechtenstein? HANRATTY The principality of Liechtenstein is a landlocked alpine country in Western Europe bordered by Switzerland to the west and south and Austria to the east. Hanratty takes aim and fires. Hanratty and the men enter.k. Rome. He's not playing the game. HANRATTY He will. No. He doesn’t even know you exist. He's Old School.) BRANTON What the hell! DOLLAR (entering) You know.
(. okay. I have never been cool and I don’t intend to start now..) FRANK JUNIOR Ladies and gentlemen . Other kids wanted to play cops and robbers. I only wanted to play cops." THEY REPLY AND THOUGH I THOUGHT I HATED THEM AND SCREAMED WITH ALL MY MIGHT THE NEXT TIME THAT I HAD A CHOICE GEE WHIZ! I DID WHAT'S RIGHT NO. Carl Hanratty. BRANTON Hanratty.35 BRANTON Okay. (MUSIC. I NEVER SNUCK A DRINK I NEVER STOLE A PACK OF "KOOLS" 'CAUSE THE GAME AIN'T WORTH WINNING IF YOU'RE BREAKING ALL THE RULES . and disappears... HANRATTY I will not stay cool. (Frank Junior appears .) SONG: BREAKING ALL THE RULES HANRATTY IT STARTS VERY EARLY ONCE THE BABY TOYS ARE GONE A KID ON THE PLAYGROUND HAS TO CHOOSE WHAT SIDE HE'S ON IT'S THE BULLIES OR THE GOOD GUYS BOY... Stay cool. were you always like this? HANRATTY Long as I can remember. THERE IS NO MIDDLE GROUND THOUGH HOODLUMS TRY TO BLUR THE LINE AND TWIST THE TRUTH AROUND THEN THEY CALL THEMSELVES A WINNER BUT THEY'RE SELF-DECEIVING FOOLS 'CAUSE THE GAME AIN'T WORTH WINNING IF YOU'RE BREAKING ALL THE RULES THE LAW IS LAYED UPON US WHEN AS KIDS WE FIRST ASK "WHY?" OUR PARENTS SET THE RULES WHEN "'CAUSE I SAID SO..) I think I was born this way.
IT STARTED BACK WITH MOSES WHEN HE LED AROUND THE JEWS THE JEWS AND CLIMBED WAY UP THAT MOUNTAIN TO PICK UP GOD’S DAILY NEWS TELL ME THE NEWS HE SCHLEPPED UP OLD MT. THOSE LAWS KEEP US ALIVE.36 HANRATTY OR ELSE WE’RE LIVING IN THE WILD. BOYS. TO SOME IS TOO COMPLEX THEY THINK OUR FOUNDING FATHERS FOUGHT SO THEY COULD FORGE SOME CHECKS THEY SEE THEMSELVES AS ROBIN HOOD STEALING FROM THE RICH NOT PAYING BACK THE THINGS THEY TAKE WELL PAYBACK IS A BITCH ‘CAUSE THE WORLD AIN’T SHERWOOD FOREST YOU CAN’T GIVE AWAY THOSE JEWELS AND THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING IF YOU’RE BREAKING ALL THE RULES OR ELSE WE’RE LIVING IN THE WILD. WILD WEST DON’T BREAK THE RULES GOD’S KEEPING SCORE AND YOU DON’T WANNA FAIL THAT TEST DON’T BREAK THE RULES YOU THUMB YOUR NOSE RIGHT AT THE LIFE FOR WHICH I STRIVE BUT THOSE RULES. WILD WEST DON’T BREAK THE RULES GOD’S KEEPING SCORE AND YOU DON’T WANNA FAIL THAT TEST AND BABY … I GUESS … EVERY SUNDAY IN OUR SCHOOLS THOSE RULES. MEN DON’T BREAK THE RULES THEY THINK THEY SEE THEMSELVES DON’TCHA KNOW THEY’RE NOT PAYING BACK POW!!! YOU CAN’T GIVE AWAY THOSE JEWELS DON’T BREAK THE RULES . SINAI CRIED AND BEGGED ON THEIR BEHALF OH LORD! HE ALMOST DROPPED THOSE TABLETS WHEN HE SAW THAT GOLDEN CALF WHAT? NOW WE TEACH THE TEN COMMANDMENTS EVERY SUNDAY IN OUR SCHOOLS ‘CAUSE THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING IF YOU’RE BREAKING ALL THE RULES I GUESS THE CONSTITUTION. THOSE LAWS KEEP US ALIVE.
DOO-WOP! . BABY THOSE RULES THOSE LAWS THE WORLD WOULD BE IN TOTAL CHAOS BOP! ‘CAUSE WITHOUT THEM WE’RE JUST MULES THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING DON’T BREAK THE RULES BUT THOSE RULES. IT’S LAWS THAT KEEP US HUMAN ‘CAUSE WITHOUT THEM WE’RE JUST MULES AND THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING I SAY THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING OH OH OH THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING IF YOU’RE BREAKING ALL THE RULES OR ELSE WE’RE LIVING IN THE WILD. THOSE LAWS KEEP US ALIVE! US ALIVE! OOH-OOH WOP OOH-OOH BOP! OOH-OOH YOU’RE AN OUTLAW THROUGH AND THROUGH AND ONE DAY I’LL CATCH YOU SO.37 DON’T BREAK THE RULES YOU THUMB YOUR NOSE RIGHT AT THE LIFE FOR WHICH I STRIVE BUT THOSE RULES. SELL SOME POT IT’S ALL THE SAME TO ME YOU’RE EITHER GUILTY OR YOU’RE NOT DOO-WOP. GO SNEAK INTO A MOVIE RUN A RED LIGHT. MAN AND ONE DAY I’LL CATCH YOU SO. DOO-WOP. WILD WEST DON’T BREAK THE RULES GOD’S KEEPING SCORE AND YOU DON’T WANNA FAIL THAT TEST DON’T BREAK THE RULES YOU THUMB YOUR NOSE AT THE LIFE FOR WHICH I STRIVE BUT THOSE RULES THOSE LAWS THOSE LAWS THOSE RULES THOSE LAWS THOSE LAWS. WOW! IF WE ALL DID WHAT WE WANTED EVERY TIME WE FELT THE URGE THE WORLD WOULD BE IN TOTAL CHAOS IT’S ALREADY ON THE VERGE ‘CAUSE. GO SNEAK DOO-WOP. THOSE LAWS KEEP US ALIVE! WHEN YOU STEAL SOMEBODY’S MONEY SCREW HIS DAUGHTER OR HIS WIFE YOU DON’T THINK OF REPERCUSSIONS AS YOU TAP DANCE THROUGH YOUR LIFE THOUGH YOU SMILE LIKE YOU’RE A HERO YOU’RE AN OUTLAW BUT THE ODDS ARE IN MY FAVOR.
Who the hell taught you to shoot? DOLLAR My daddy taught me how to turn a mister into a missus at a hundred yards. but look at this field bulletin.) COD Hanratty. back to work.) HANRATTY + FRANK JUNIOR (overlapping. Frank Junior enters with his suitcase. Come on aboard. kid. STEWARDESS First class is full. (Hanratty grabs and scans it.) STEWARDESS Good morning. (The FBI Agents scatter. Crime doesn’t take a holiday. I'm gonna regret this. BRANTON Yeah . and Cod follows him in. not in unison) The Skywayman.. I don’t really want to know about that.. (Hanratty enters... flying all over the world . posing as an airline pilot . . jumpin’ puddles for the weak and weary. FRANK JUNIOR Skywayman? (The Stewardess hands him a newspaper. Frank Jr. ma’am. Are you my deadhead today? FRANK JUNIOR Yes.. All the airlines are after him .. opened and folded to an article. scans it. Branton and Dollar enter opposite. A lovely STEWARDESS enters with a clipboard. FRANK JUNIOR Thanks! STEWARDESS Be sure to watch out for that Skywayman. First Officer. Been on the same equipment all week.) BRANTON You’re dangerous.. with a flyer in hand.. but I’ve got the jump seat open.38 KEEP US ALIVE! KEEP US ALIVE! BOP! SONG ENDS. HANRATTY All right.
(MUSIC. HANRATTY Maybe . We just became front page news. I'll have to look out for him. HANRATTY Maybe he's a master con artist. She follows. Hanratty and the boys exit and we go right to the Latin Quarter. and commissary on the Eastern seaboard.. We're checking every airport hotel. boys. motel.) . COD Maybe he forged some credentials? FRANK JUNIOR The Skywayman. FRANK JUNIOR Like a superhero. FRANK JUNIOR Crazy world we live in. (Frank Junior gives the paper back to the Hotel Clerk and exits. he drops rubber everywhere he goes. Cod..) HANRATTY Nice work.39 STEWARDESS They don't know how he does it. All right. cafe.
FRANK SENIOR I had to close the store for a while. they'll forget about me. Where're you flying that plane tonight? FRANK JUNIOR Well. FRANK JUNIOR Dad.. The goddamn government knows that. I thought it might be just the place to take you when I got back to the States. (Frank Senior makes his way through the beautiful girls—who give him a little love. . I'm sort of just a copilot. Frankie. It's all a matter of timing. Called their bluff. New York City (A floor show is just finishing. I wasn't going to let them take it from me.) SONG: THE PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT THEY SEE (REPRISE) SHOWGIRLS UNDERNEATH IS MY UNIFORM ALL IN SILK. I don't really fly. in uniform. Frank. On top of the world. FRANK SENIOR My son the birdman.. FRANK SENIOR Hollywood. they hit you when you're down. So I just shut the doors myself. FROM PAREE A MAN CAN MAKE PASSES OR USE X RAY GLASSES BUT! PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT HE’LL SEE! SONG ENDS. waits at their table. something else. FRANK JUNIOR I heard about it in Paris. I went by the store today. FRANK SENIOR Where? FRANK JUNIOR Los Angeles. FRANK SENIOR Look at us. They have a guy to give towels to the guy who gives you towels. FRANK JUNIOR Yeah. Sooner or later. Frank Junior.40 Scene 10: The Latin Quarter. with the girls dressed in pinstripes.) FRANK SENIOR This place .
FRANK JUNIOR I'm fine.) FRANK SENIOR What's this? FRANK JUNIOR Let's open up the store.) … and strike up an orchestra. She's a formidable woman. Frankie. (Back to Frank Junior.41 (Frank Junior slides a thick envelope across the table. snaps his fingers twice. FRANK SENIOR That's fine.. Frank Sr. (He raises his hand. But I won't let her go without a fight. Because I learned from the best.) Double Bourbon. I make lots of money. I got this great job. Take good care of yourself. FRANK SENIOR And here I thought you were just a copilot. FRANK JUNIOR But maybe if Mom saw — FRANK SENIOR Do I look like I need your help? (A moment. FRANK JUNIOR She could be again. FRANK SENIOR I don't know. . I can have breakfast in Rome. Frankie. Dad. And six weeks later. MUSIC. watching her dance. everything's different now. believe me. and dinner in San Francisco. Pay off the Feds. I didn't speak a word of French. FRANK JUNIOR Listen. to bartender. FRANK JUNIOR If she saw you had the store back — FRANK SENIOR Two hundred soldiers in that tiny social hall. Dad. I can help out now. There's plenty more where this came from..) Don't worry about your mom and me. always has been. she was my wife. I can snap my fingers . FRANK SENIOR Keep it. lunch in Miami. You got your own worries. FRANK JUNIOR I can be anything you need me to be. Get things back the way they were. She's stubborn.
. HE WALKED RIGHT OUT AND BUTTERED HIS TOAST NOW HE’S ON TOP FOR GOODNESS SAKES YEAH.. FRANK SENIOR Well. you know . HE’S THE BIG CHEESE UP AT “LAND O’ LAKES” HE’S LIVING PROOF THAT POP ALL IT TAKES IS A SCHEME SO IF YOU LAND IN THE GUTTER JUST MAKE BUTTER OUT OF CREAM FRANK JUNIOR Your turn. It’s not a solo act. FRANK SENIOR Nah—you’re doing great.42 SONG: BUTTER OUTTA CREAM FRANK JUNIOR REMEMBER THAT STORY I LEARNED AT YOUR FEET WELL NOW IT’S MY TURN. there is one you haven’t told you. FRANK JUNIOR Really? FRANK SENIOR. DEDUCED HIS PLIGHT SAID “THIS IS NO WAY TO SPEND A SATURDAY NIGHT!” BUT HE HAD THE STYLE TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT SO HE MADE BUTTER OUTTA CREAM HE KICKED HIS LEGS UP HE TOSSED AND TURNED SO NOT TO END UP A GHOST HE DID THE HOKEY-POKEY TILL THE CREAM WAS CHURNED THEN BABY. THERE WAS A COCKROACH IN BRAZIL GOT DRUNK AT THE LOCAL COFFEE MILL HE THOUGHT HIS TIME WAS UP UNTIL HE MADE COFFEE OUTTA BEANS WHEN HE CAME TO HE HEARD SUCH A SOUND MUCH TO HIS SHOCK WHEN HE LOOKED AROUND HE HAD BEEN SCOOPED AND WAS ABOUT TO BE GROUND SO. Dad. HE MADE COFFEE OUT OF BEANS . FRANK JUNIOR This is a duet. It’s Frank and Dean. TAKE A SEAT TWO LITTLE MICE OF GREAT RENOWN FELL IN SOME MILK AND ONE PROCEEDED TO DROWN THE OTHER ONE’S STILL THE TOAST OF THE TOWN CAUSE HE MADE BUTTER OUTTA CREAM HE LOOKED AROUND.
SON I’LL MAKE BUTTER OUT OF CREAM! SONG ENDS . Son! BOTH SO THINK OF THOSE TWO WHEN LIFE’S THE PITS FRANK SENIOR “THE BUG” FRANK JUNIOR AND “THE MOUSE” BOTH AT THE END OF THEIR WITS THEY KNEW THE KEY TO LIFE IS THAT ITS WHA’ CHA DREAM SO IF LEMONS CLOG YOUR SINK UP DON’T JUST STAND AROUND AND SCREAM SPIKE SOME LEMONADE AND DRINK UP AND MAKE BUTTER OUT OF CREAM FRANK SENIOR JUST MAKE BUTTER OUT OF CREAM FRANK JUNIOR MAKE SOME BUTTER OUT OF CREAM FRANK SENIOR I HEAR WHAT YOU’RE SAYING.43 FRANK SENIOR (CONT’D) HE MARCHED TO THE SOUTH AND HE STOMPED TO THE NORTH HE HAD TO RACE AGAINST FATE HE DID THE CUCARACHA WHILE THOSE TEARS POURED FORTH THEN SEÑOR. Dad! FRANK SENIOR All right. THINGS BEGAN TO PERCOLATE HE HELD HIS BREATH AND SWAM TO THE TOP HE BORROWED BEANS FROM HIS MOM AND POP AND OPENED UP HIS OWN COFFEE SHOP OUT IN QUEENS! WHEN HIS LIGHTS WERE ALMOST OFF HE JUST MADE COFFEE OUTTA BEANS FRANK JUNIOR Let’s bring this one home.
lifting cushions. Was here for almost a week. COD Looks like he left in a hurry. get license plate numbers on every car in the lot. I'll process the room. I'll make a note to laugh later. when you're dead. Branton appears at the door. (The other agents look at the trash. COD Oh my god! It's Hanratty! HANRATTY That's funny. go canvas the other guests.) Mister Taylor. then at Hanratty. BRANTON (holds up a Playboy) He has a breast fetish. then picks up the wastebasket.) BRANTON I'll take your word for it. DOLLAR (holds up a comic book) The Flash. left us a goldmine. and dumps the contents on the floor. Come on.) HANRATTY A man's secrets are in his trash.44 Scene 11: Idlewild Airport Motel. people. real name unknown. Impress me. Cod. Dollar. HANRATTY Okay fellows. inspecting furniture. (They begin to pore over the room. No forwarding. Cod. . Cod. That's very funny. HANRATTY (sighs) Branton. COD (holds up a pizza box and a jar of peanut butter) He lives on junk food. and Dollar inspect a much-used motel room: comic books. junk-food containers. What's his next move? What goes on in the mind of an obsessive loner? BRANTON Why don't you tell us? (Hanratty glares at Branton. opening drawers. crumpled papers. He likes comic books.) BRANTON Hanaratty! The manager says he just checked out three hours ago. Room 135 (Hanratty.
The Flash? Peanut butter? Maybe he's got a kid? (Hanratty goes to work.) PAULA Hello? Hello? Frankie is that you? JACK BARNES Is it him again? PAULA Frankie? JACK BARNES Paula. Mister Taylor. Something doesn't jive here. Hanratty. are you there? (Frank Junior abruptly hangs up.) All right. Lights fade on all three. give me the phone. A RING. Jack Barnes and Paula. on the phone. no. picking through the garbage.) HANRATTY A BOBBY PIN TWO BASEBALL CARDS SOME DAY-OLD CHINESE FOOD TWO TICKET STUBS THE RED SOX ALWAYS LOSE . in night clothes. Say. PAULA Frankie.45 COD (as the men leave) Right. You ever look at your own garbage? (The other agents go.) HANRATTY No. in another hotel room. no. SONG: THE MAN INSIDE THE CLUES HANRATTY A COMIC BOOK A MISS JULY A MATCHBOOK FROM "THE FLAME" SOME CHEWING GUM A MISMATCHED PAIR OF SHOES A LETTER HOME THAT WASN’T MAILED A CHECK WITHOUT A NAME YEAH. Paula looks at Jack and shakes her head. THEY'LL BE MY GUIDE TO THE MAN INSIDE THE CLUES (Lights on Frank Junior. Paula on the phone. Elsewhere. I know you're in here somewhere.
The two of you should come out to Los Angeles with me.) .) FRANK JUNIOR Hi Miss Room Service. If he were any more pale. SHE NEVER COMES HE LOCKED THE DOOR BUT I DON'T NEED A KEY THERE'S ONLY GARBAGE ON THE FLOOR TO OTHERS. sure. and returns to the room. COD (as he and Branton turn to go) Now that's the best idea he's had yet. I'd like to place an order. (The men exit. he'd be transparent. BRANTON The two of who? HANRATTY Who knows? But we know he's going to Los Angeles. I know it's late—I just flew in from Ireland.46 A VALENTINE THAT WASN’T SENT A SCENT TO SET THE MOOD WHEN I TAKE A RIDE WITH THE MAN INSIDE THE CLUES (Lights on Frank Junior. Maybe then --" (looks up) Unfinished. in yet another hotel room. my family flies for free. And so are we. (Lights fade on him. THEY'RE JUST CRUMBS THOSE CRUMBS LOOK LIKE A FIVE-COURSE MEAL TO ME (The other agents return. but stops. BRANTON He could use the sun.) HANRATTY DO NOT DISTURB IS ON THE DOOR THE MAID. DOLLAR Fantastic. Hanratty moves to follow. yeah.) BRANTON Anything? HANRATTY (hands him a crumpled sheet of paper) Pan Am stationery. (reads) "As a Pan Am pilot. Have you been there? It's so beautiful—oh. I'll hold.
THE HOUSE FOR SALE A MILLION NIGHTS ALONE TO WISH YOU HAD THE THINGS YOU THREW AWAY . . BY THE MAN INSIDE THE CLUES THE MAN INSIDE THE CLUES...47 HANRATTY I'VE LOOKED INTO SO MANY LIVES BUT NEVER AT MY OWN THE TRAIL I LEFT IS SUCH A DAMN CLICHÉ THE LONELY WIFE.. SONG ENDS.. LIKE A FRONT DOOR KEY A HOME COOKED MEAL THE HAPPY BRIDE AND GROOM THEN LIFE KICKS IN AND MAKES YOU PAY YOUR DUES AND THEN YOU FIND YOU'RE BY YOURSELF IN A SINGLE MOTEL ROOM THAT'S BEEN OCCUPIED .
The rest exit...) If you’re good little boys. you’ll get one. Hanratty and men enter the patio with the MOTEL MANAGER. (Dollar complies. to room 201. Dollar takes the exit. cautiously. but the room is empty. too. MOTEL MANAGER Good. mister. looking over a bureau and table filled with the implements of forgery. a FLUSH. I’ll just take this check and be on my way..I. I was gonna deposit this one today. MOTEL MANAGER You said there wouldn’t be any trouble. I don’t want any trouble. . From the bathroom. I’ll buy you all a Good Humor bar.B. They all cleared. We see Frank. You guys back me up.! Come out with your hands on your head. gun drawn. Junior laying on his bed in his room. (Hanratty proceeds.B.. HANRATTY Relax.) Hanratty bursts in through the door . listening to the radio.! (.) Put it away.48 Scene 12: A Motel (Patio and Room) in Los Angeles.I. glumly. HANRATTY You mean he’s still here? MOTEL MANAGER (hesitates) Two-oh-one. I don’t want my customers harassed. Hanratty points his gun. Dollar eagerly follows suit.) HANRATTY F. (Hanratty draws his gun. RADIO ANNOUNCEMENT KRLA … It’s currently a summer sixty five degrees here in Los Angeles … MOTEL MANAGER He wrote three checks. Hanratty slowly moves in. in other directions. HANRATTY I take the lead. HANRATTY There won’t be any trouble.) HANRATTY F.
HANRATTY Let me see some identification. (Frank Junior ignores the gun pointed at him and walks to the desk. drafting glue—he even makes little payroll envelopes addressed to himself from Pan Am. FRANK JUNIOR Here. buddy. are the only ones tracking this guy? He’s been dabbling in government checks.49 (Frank Junior calmly emerges from the bathroom. black suit. We’ve been following a paper trail for months.) FRANK JUNIOR He’s got about two hundred checks here—a gallon of India ink. What’s your name. FRANK JUNIOR Relax. FRANK JUNIOR You mind if I see some ID. Would you mind taking that gun out of my face? It makes me nervous. FRANK JUNIOR You think the F. Carl Hanratty. too? HANRATTY No.C. I wasn’t expecting Secret Service on this. can you believe that? HANRATTY Don’t move.I. near Dulles airport. Barry Allen. Carl? HANRATTY Sure. United States Secret Service. (tosses him wallet) You want my gun. FRANK JUNIOR Don’t worry about it. FRANK JUNIORS Can’t be too careful these days. . then in a motel outside D.) FRANK JUNIOR Guy's got a MICR encoder. Put your hands on your head or I’ll shoot.B. anyway? HANRATTY Hanratty. He's in a different. no. take my whole wallet. We almost had him in New York. Your man just tried to climb out the window—my partner has him in custody downstairs. Nods at Hanratty. HANRATTY What are you talking about? Keep your hands on your head. HANRATTY Keep your hands where I can see them. you’re late. The name's Allen.
I don’t want anyway walking through my crime scene. . I trust you.) Here. FRANK JUNIOR He is pretty damn old. That was a joke.) FRANK JUNIOR You know. some maid comes in here and starts making the bed. HANRATTY You shouldn’t. (Frank Junior picks up the MICR machine and heads for the door. I hate when that happens. sorry. FRANK JUNIOR Hang on to it till I come back for the rest of the stuff. (They laugh. Right here. HANRATTY Yeah? I had him figured for an older guy. then stop laughing.50 HANRATTY Sure. Five minutes earlier and you would have landed yourself a pretty good collar. I asked for that one! FRANK JUNIOR Just do me a favor. HANRATTY Sure. HANRATTY Wait.) Hey. turns) What? HANRATTY Your wallet. What does he look like? FRANK JUNIOR He's a handsome son of a bitch. FRANK JUNIOR (freezes. let me ask you something. Sit tight a minute while I get some of this evidence downstairs. He must be your age at least. HANRATTY Okay. (Hanratty hands Frank Junior his business card) FRANK JUNIOR Tough luck. Frank Junior goes to a pitcher of water and pours himself a drink — and only we can see he's trembling. ten seconds later you would have been shot. I’m just a little … (Hanratty indicates nerves with his hands. HANRATTY That’s okay. Carl.
. (He shrugs.. (He stops. Frank Williams.51 FRANK JUNIOR You got me. Carl. (Lights. Frank Junior in a spot. Frank Fuck! (The other three agents rush into the room. Not to me. I don't know why.) HANRATTY Nice guy. I love it. I guess I always wanted to see our nation's capital at Christmas. Thinks a minute. I caught the one after that. Fingers through the ID cards within. I love it. Keep talking. DOLLAR We all make mistakes. (Frank Junior smiles at him and goes. The best time of the year. HANRATTY Oh. Jesus Christ. wasn't it? Misdirection.) COD Where is he? HANRATTY I had him. And I . To us. (unable to contain himself) We got him! (He does a little victory dance. it happens to the best of us. Frank Black. sir. I love it. HANRATTY Not to me. Barry Allen from the Secret Service.) FRANK JUNIOR That was close.. Opens the wallet. Maintain eye contact.) Frank Taylor.) I love my job.) Mister Hanratty and his men caught the next plane back to DC. He was right there! BRANTON What are you talking about? HANRATTY I let him convince me he was someone else. DOLLAR Barry Allen? The Flash? HANRATTY What? DOLLAR Barry Allen is the alter ego of the Flash.
Go home.) PARTYGOERS ANGELS SING. He's poring over documents with a loupe.) LINDY What’s the matter. honey? CINDY You look pooped! MINDY You need a good long layover. Branton enters. HANRATTY You're wrong. both Washington. DC SONG: CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR (PARTY VERSION) (The Stewardesses and Pilots party as Frank Junior looks on. BRANTON You want me to stay? HANRATTY No.) . Merry Christmas. It's Christmas Eve. Hanratty's phone RINGS.) (The Stewardesses and Pilots dance off as we TRANISTION TO Hanratty's office. BRANTON Merry Christmas. come on.) BRANTON Hanratty. (Frank Junior struggles to extricate himself and get offstage to get his letter jacket on. (Lights on Frank Junior at a pay phone. He picks up. You're not going to redeem yourself with the boys upstairs by having a miserable holiday. Hanratty (He goes. FRANK JUNIOR I'm just going to get some air. You've got kids. (checks his watch without looking up) It's not Christmas Eve. THE SOUND’S SUBLIME LISTEN TO THOSE CHURCH BELLS CHIME CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR (A few of the Stewardesses approach Frank Junior.52 Scene 13: A Hotel Room and the FBI Building.) HANRATTY This is Hanratty. It's Christmas.
CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR FRANK JUNIOR SOME SUGAR PLUMS I HAVEN’T KISSED BUT MISTLETOE I MUST RESIST CAUSE I’M ON ST. FRANK JUNIOR People only know what you tell them. I thought maybe you had a family? HANRATTY No. you know that. FRANK JUNIOR I didn’t think I’d get you in. FRANK JUNIOR Carl. Carl. HANRATTY Then tell me something: how did you know I wouldn’t look in your wallet? FRANK JUNIOR I didn’t. No family. SONG: MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR HANRATTY YEAH. Maybe I didn’t pull the trigger but I knew. you don't feel sorry for me. HANRATTY You’re gonna get caught.53 FRANK JUNIOR Hello. don’t you? One way or another. The fact is. I’m sorry if I made a fool out of you. Secret Service! What do you want? FRANK JUNIOR I want to apologize for what happened out in Los Angeles. HANRATTY Yeah? Screw you. HANRATTY Who is this? FRANK JUNIOR I’ve been trying to track you down. Merry Christmas. I did. DON’TCHA LOVE THE YULETIDE FUN THERE’S JOY AND CHEER FOR EVERYONE I WAIT FOR SANTA WITH A GUN YES. It’s Christmas. FRANK JUNIOR Me either. I knew it was you. CARL’S MOST WANTED LIST . HANRATTY Goddamn it. Just like Vegas—the house always wins. HANRATTY Barry Allen.
HANRATTY Frank! Wait! (Frank Junior almost hangs up the phone. RIGHT BY THE PHONE FRANK JUNIOR & HANRATTY YES CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR HANRATTY Wait a minute. Frank Junior covers the mouthpiece and turns to us. CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR (Lights on Frank Senior and Paula.54 BOTH YES. PAULA AND THERE’S A HOME WHERE YOU CAN’T GO AND THERE’S A LIFE THAT’S FULL OF LOVE YOU USED TO KNOW HANRATTY FOR ME IT’S TRUE FRANK SENIOR BUT KID. NOT YOU PAULA CAUSE YOUR FAMILY’S HERE FRANK SENIOR & PAULA YEAH. did you? FRANK JUNIOR What do you mean? HANRATTY You’ve got no one else to talk to. FRANK JR.) HANRATTY SO. FRANK JUNIOR (half beat) I have to go. While Hanratty waits on the other end of the phone.) .) HANRATTY. IF TOMORROW SANTA’S FLOWN THE TREE IS DOWN AND YOU’RE ALONE I'M ALWAYS HERE. But stops. Wait a minute. THEY’RE STILL YOURS TO HOLD IF YOU … FRANK SENIOR & PAULA & HANRATTY COME IN FROM THE COLD (Lights fade on Frank Senior and Paula. separately. FRANK SR. You didn’t call me to apologize.
. I HOPE WE’LL MEET AGAIN LIKE WHEN YOU’RE SERVING EIGHT TO TEN BOTH YES. HANRATTY Sooner or later you'll get tired of running. She stops and looks in our direction. FRANK JUNIOR Look out the window.) I’LL CALL YOU SOON. (He sings. (Lights on Brenda. FRANK JUNIOR Sooner or later you'll get tired of chasing me. Tonight . Frank Junior turns back to the phone. Frank Junior jumps off the stage and disappears up the aisle of the theatre. HANRATTY Frank? (Brenda fades.) HANRATTY (to himself) He’s a kid.55 FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty was right. SONG ENDS..) But right now .. BUT WHO KNOWS WHEN HANRATTY AND. HANRATTY Why? FRANK JUNIOR Just do it. dreaming. (to us) He’s a kid. HANRATTY No I won't. CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR (Hanratty sees Frank Junior in the pay phone booth.) FRANK JUNIOR I'm still here. But I was about to meet someone. Everything. It was a lonely life.. FRANK. END OF ACT ONE . and she was gonna change everything.
I moved to the Riverbend Apartments in Atlanta. Frank Junior. Georgia. We find out who's responsible for the kid.. the long list trailing behind him. no more high living. a real nice complex.) We just go to each address and ask to see a family photo. men.56 ACT TWO Scene 1: The FBI Building. No more cons. So we check out every runaway teen and missing student in the tri-state area over the past three years.. no more lies. live off my savings. and I'd wrung out every bank in the Northeast. I pulled a list from the mainframe. the perfect place to keep things quiet. (He pulls out a sheet of paper. My career as a pilot was pretty much done. whipping off his fedora and RayBans to reveal . I think that's gonna take a while.. He waves. a few years later. it's simple.) HANRATTY Look. drinks in hand.. (Hanratty exits. The men follow. (PARTY DOCTORS and NURSES enter at a stumbling run. (The PARTY DOCTOR approaches Frank Junior as we CONTINUE TO:) . Riverbend would be written up in Playboy as the address for swinging singles.) FRANK JUNIOR Good luck with that! Poor Agent Hanratty. which just keeps coming. DOLLAR (voice over) How long will that take? HANRATTY As long as it takes. But for right now. we see Hanratty and his three men. Let's go.) ALL PARTY DOCTORS + NURSES Woo-hoo! FRANK JUNIOR Of course. Washington. . so it was time for me to lay low for a while. I just had to keep a low profile. We know he's a kid. huddled in a hallway. full of professionals. The last agent stays behind. DC (As the Entre' Acte ends.
I . sexy legs first. no.) FRANK JUNIOR Oh.) What am I doing? I can't be a doctor. You know. Well. surgery? Orthopedics? FRANK JUNIOR Pediatrics? PARTY DOCTOR Snot-nosed little kids? You can have 'em. Why do I do this every time? (MUSIC. FRANK JUNIOR (works the problem) Oh. Atlanta (The PARTY DOCTOR throws an arm around him.) Ladies and gentlemen—nurses.. Be great to have you there! (He goes. what brings you to the Riverbend complex? I thought it was just us doctors and nurses here.) SONG: DOCTOR'S ORDERS NURSE HEY DOCTOR..57 Scene 2: The Riverbend Apartments and Atlanta General Hospital. (The NURSES seduce Frank Junior into the medical profession—dressing him as a doctor in the process. Listen. I'm a doctor. (Frank Junior shoots us a despairing look. ) Oh yeah. (. Frank. (Frank Junior turns to us.. Frank Junior looks at them . then back to us.. Why do I do this every time?) PARTY DOCTOR What do you do.. The NURSES rise into view.. ARE YOU ON CALL? I'M NOT FEELING SO WELL AT ALL I KEPT THINKING ABOUT YA AS I COULD NOT SLEEP A WINK LAST NIGHT NURSE I TOSSED AND TURNED THE WHOLE NIGHT LONG KEPT FEELING LIKE SOMETHING'S WRONG I NEED A CHECKUP TO MAKE EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT . I'll find out if there's anything open down at Atlanta General. thank you.) PARTY DOCTOR So.
" THREE NURSES AND I GOTTA GET SOME SOON . NURSE MADE THIS APPOINTMENT NURSE AND I CLEARED YOUR AFTERNOON ALL NURSES YES.58 ALL NURSES SO I ..) FRANK JUNIOR How am I going to get through this? Medicine? But.L.. (The Nurses leave him. Frank Junior watches as Ben Casey makes a diagnosis. Do you concur. standing over a patient with another doctor. son. .. TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS! ALL NURSES OOH OOH . I . NURSE NEED ME A LITTLE "T. I NEVER FELT SO BAD I NEED SOMETHING I NEVER HAD AND I'M READY .) BEN CASEY I think what we have here is advanced third-degree encephelomarginalia. (He snaps his fingers and a Ben Casey episode appears. I concur. What do you recommend.. the last one handing him a remote.C.. Doctor Casey? BEN CASEY Let's not jump to any conclusions. doctor? OTHER DOCTOR Yes. We'll find out what's ailing you. now that I think of it. ALL NURSES LET ME TELL YA THAT NURSE MAYBE I NEVER LISTENED GOOD I NEVER DID THE THINGS I SHOULD BUT I'M READY TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS! NURSE BABY.... Ben Casey always made it look easy on television.. We'll run every test we can..
DOCTOR WANAMAKER And we also have your recommendation from Death Valley Children's Hospital. Welcome aboard. (Wanamaker laughs. and press-on-letters.59 FRANK JUNIOR (clicks it off. Hanratty? FRANK JUNIOR He’s my mentor. so you wouldn't get much real patient contact— FRANK JUNIOR I'll take it.. the only thing open is overnight ER supervisor. Slightly doddering.. speaks to us) That’s gonna come in handy.. Doctor Connors.) DOCTOR WANAMAKER Harvard University! Very impressive. IT'S AN EMERGENCY AND I'M READY TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS NURSE BABY I NEED THE ANTIDOTE YOU'RE HIDING UNDER THAT WHITE LAB COAT YES I'M READY TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS NURSES OOH OOH . and the nurses come back. seriously.) NURSE MAYBE I NEED YOUR REMEDY DOC.. calligraphy. I could pick up a few books at the Emory bookstore.) No. FRANK JUNIOR (to us) Act Two is brought to you by parchment paper. Beneath a doctor of your qualifications. He's inspecting a parchment document. and you'd primarily be supervising residents and interns. he's the head of Atlanta General. But there's the little matter of a med school degree — (He's joined by DOCTOR WANAMAKER. (He goes. DOCTOR WANAMAKER All right then. Doctor .. Frank Junior stops laughing and gives us a panicked look. the sight of blood makes me vomit. Frank Junior laughs. DOCTOR WANAMAKER You're just the perfect candidate. And you actually brought in your diploma. FRANK JUNIOR I should mention. READY DOCTOR'S ORDERS . DOCTOR WANAMAKER At the moment.. READY DOCTOR'S ORDERS NURSES OOH OOH .
pushing a gurney. she was real. (Two interns enter. And it didn’t hurt that she was the best nurse there. she was the one. lifts sheet) He’s got a bone sticking out of his leg.) NURSES OOH-OOH-OOH OOH-OOH-OOH AH-AH . Doctor . The minute I saw her. concur! I concur! Just go! Go! BRENDA You heard him! Go! Go! (She ushers them out as Frank Junior recovers. and pursues her..60 (BRENDA pushes her way through the passel of sexy nurses) BRENDA Doctor Conners! Doctor Conners! (Frank Junior turns and sees her and FRANK JUNIOR And there she was—in the middle of all those glamazons . I knew. Nurse Strong. I . but— INTERN (interrupting.. Brenda lifts the bloody sheet. I.... BRENDA (leading him to water) Okay. Should we set it or get a surgical consult? FRANK JUNIOR (Caseyesque—showing off for her) Let's not jump to any conclusions..) BRENDA Doctor Conners! MVA. uh . FRANK JUNIOR (struggling not to lose it) Yes .) FRANK JUNIOR Wait! Nurse! Not you! (He tries to follow. but the Sexy Nurses return to block his way. We'll run every test we can.. car versus bike.... I needed the help. Doctor Conners.
. CAN'T CATCH MY BREATH DOCTOR YOU GOT THE KISS OF DEATH NURSES AND I'M READY READY COME ON... uh . HOT DAMN NURSES OOH OOH .. I'M GONNA BURN THAT ORCHARD DOWN SONG ENDS.) BRENDA Doctor Conners? Doctor Conners? FRANK JUNIOR (wakes with a start) Oh. OOH . I haven’t been getting much sleep at the apartment these days. TAKE OUT THAT STETHOSCOPE YOU MAY BE MY ONLY HOPE SO I'M READY READY TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS ALL NURSES TALKING ‘BOUT WHAM-BAM DAMN NURSE OXYGEN PLEASE. .... ENSEMBLE READY READY COME ON. Brenda enters. OOH . LET'S ROCK STEADY ALL MEN NURSES AND DOCTORS AHH . Frank Junior grabs some shut-eye on a gurney. I was .61 NURSE I KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT AN APPLE A DAY TO BE THE STRONGEST GAL IN TOWN BUT IF AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY I'M GONNA BURN THAT ORCHARD DOWN! NURSE BABY DON'T STOP UNTIL I'M HEALED OOH OOH .... LET'S ROCK STEADY ALL 'CAUSE I'M READY . FOR DOCTOR'S ORDERS! WOO! (The doctors and nurses exit.... I'VE GOT BLUE CROSS AND I'VE GOT BLUE SHIELD AND I'M READY READY TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS DOCTOR'S ORDERS NURSE BABY....
) Doctor? (A nurse strides through. FRANK JUNIOR Hello. Doctor Conners. .at the cafeteria. Frank Junior takes one look and turns and clutches his stomach. Or an astronaut. dark red in translucent plastic.. I've tried to start a conversation with you four times a day for eleven days and you’ve barely even said hello. BRENDA Is there anything I can do? FRANK JUNIOR You could have coffee with me. Pretend I’m a pilot. BRENDA But their coffee’s worse than the tuna. FRANK JUNIOR I guess I do.) NURSE O-negative! O-negative! Who’s got the O-negative? (Brenda holds it up and the nurse grabs it.) BRENDA Are you okay? FRANK JUNIOR Sorry . Hello. They don't like us to fraternize with the doctors.. groaning..) FRANK JUNIOR Nurse Strong! BRENDA I’m sorry. Oh! You mean have a cup of coffee in a social way.62 BRENDA Doctor Conners. sir. (She moves to go. Is it me? BRENDA I’m so sorry. just some bad tuna.. BRENDA (half beat) Goodbye. FRANK JUNIOR Pretend I'm not a doctor. do you know which patient gets the O-Negative? (She holds up a blood bag.
. Doctor Conners. BRENDA Good day. no. . (Frank Junior takes one look and starts to lose it. sort of a part I play. FRANK JUNIOR Hey—there's a smile. BRENDA I’m just trying to do a good job. no one ever listens to me. yeah. I'll call surgery. Okay? BRENDA (smiles) Okay. And you’re the best nurse we have. BRENDA Thank you. Doctor Conners. FRANK JUNIOR You’re very serious. BRENDA So you’re not really a skirt-chasing party animal. I mean—wait. BRENDA Oh. Meat slicer.. A playboy maybe. with a gurney. (Two Interns enter at a run. I don’t think I could see you as a pilot. FRANK JUNIOR I’m the youngest doctor here.) INTERN Doctor Conners.) FRANK JUNIOR See? Look at you.. Act like you're not afraid. and you won't be. Go! (The Interns hurry off. And they can't exactly find the hand . you just want people to think you are? FRANK JUNIOR Well. They’re all so confident and sure of themselves and . tall. Act like you have confidence. FRANK JUNIOR If you want them to listen. we've got a kitchen accident.. FRANK JUNIOR I’m not really in to all that Riverbend madness. Brenda steps up.. sir. I’m the youngest nurse here. no. you just have to sound like you know what you're talking about. It’s just . I mean.63 BRENDA Oh. and pretty soon you will..) BRENDA Trauma One.
(Frank Junior gestures: Have at it.. watching him. HANRATTY Sooner or later— FRANK JUNIOR (abruptly turns to us) Meanwhile.64 FRANK JUNIOR Call me Frank. He sings. New Jersey. film noir . Phillip Marlowe. BRENDA Okay. You were busy with Brenda. And waits.) SONG: LIVE IN LIVING COLOR (REPRISE) FRANK JUNIOR LIVE IN LIVING COLOR NOW THE PICTURE SEEMS SO CLEAR SHE'S ALIVE IN LIVING COLOR SO EXCUSE ME WHILE I DISAPPEAR . (a moment.. HANRATTY Sort of a . it's taking Agent Hanratty a really really long time to visit the house of every single runaway—[in New York. It's my show. (Hanratty appears opposite. HANRATTY I interviewed your parents. Frank Junior watches her go. we cracked it pretty quickly— FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty. Maybe this part is my show.) HANRATTY Sooner or later. MUSIC. Fine.. and Connecticut. they always make a mistake..) . You weren't there. FRANK JUNIOR All right... Hanratty turns to us.] HANRATTY (also to us) Actually. FRANK JUNIOR Brenda wasn't a mistake. FRANK JUNIOR Sure. type of thing. Frank. then she remembers:) Oh! Surgery! (She hurries off.
Paula Abagnale and the Abagnale Dancers perform "Dancing Around the Subject". So hot my ass was sticking to the seat of my car like a fly on paper and my suit was my own personal sauna. Hanratty will become the fourth. (MUSIC.65 HANRATTY It was hot. . Paula enters. Too bad she was some poor kid’s mother. But not as hot as the woman I was about to interview. She gave new meaning to the words femme fatale. even for August. with three handsome DANCING BOYS.) FRANK JUNIOR Ladies and Gentlemen. a few years older.
Tell me how much he owes. you should be very proud. HANRATTY Oh. New Rochelle PAULA I haven’t seen Frankie.. I ALWAYS KNEW I’D SEE THIS DAY I CAN’T SAY IT’S A SHOCK WHAT’S THAT EXPRESSION? QU’EST-CE QUE C’EST? HE’S “A CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK” BUT IF YOU SEE HIM PLEASE PASS ON THIS PLEA DON’T BE A STRANGER TELL HIM THAT FOR ME HANRATTY If I could just look at a photo . his junior class yearbook . PAULA Ce n'est pas possible.66 Scene 3: The Barnes House and A Bar. it's possible. forging government documents— PAULA Well? So? Half of the kids his age are on dope but instead you chase after Frankie because he made a little mistake? Tant pis. She opens the book up.) HANRATTY That's him. since he ran away. PAULA I don't have a recent one. PAULA It sounds like Frankie’s good at this. If you wanted to raise a crook. that's him. but possible.. (One of the Handsome Dancing Men hands her the yearbook.. (reads from yearbook) Class Treasurer? PAULA Is Frankie in some sort of trouble? HANRATTY Ma'am. I'll write you a check— HANRATTY So far it's one-point-four million dollars. and Hanratty grabs it.. Heavens to Betsy. . your son's in a great deal of trouble.. HANRATTY Yes. Here . He has been passing bad checks. Unlikely..
Paula continues to dance with the THREE ATTRACTIVE MEN in the background. (Split scene: The Barnes living room splits the stage with a dive bar. PAULA THOUGH I TRIED. HANRATTY And would I find his father? PAULA Check the bars in town. C’EST LA VIE DON’T BE A STRANGER TELL HIM THAT FOR ME HANRATTY You haven't heard from him since you left your husband? PAULA I'm to blame. He says Frankie writes to him. HANRATTY Okay then. I COULDN'T HIDE WHEN LOVE HAD FLOWN AWAY CHILDREN CLOSE THEIR EYES BUT STILL THEY SEE I TOOK A CHANCE.67 PAULA MY FRANKIE HAD A CLEVER MIND HE COULD SPEND HOURS ALL ALONE I WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN SURPRISED TO FIND HE CHANGED HIS DIAPER ON HIS OWN COULD I HAVE BEEN THERE MORE? WELL.) FRANK SENIOR I GUESS TO YOU I SEEM A SCHMUCK WELL. I'LL JUST BIDE MY TIME PAULA IN LOVE. I just catch the bad guys. ma'am. ALL'S FAIR . Frank Senior on a barstool. A NEW ROMANCE IS IT A CRIME TO SAY I MADE A CHOICE AND CHOSE WHAT'S BEST FOR ME HANRATTY Where might I locate your son? PAULA Ask his father. Is that what you're saying? HANRATTY I don't do blame.
FRANK SENIOR I knew that. FRANK SENIOR Okay. HANRATTY Yes. (waves an envelope) Got a letter from him just today. I just wanted to see what you knew. I expect a father to do that. Now listen to me. SONG ENDS. He never was. Mister Abagnale. He's over in Nam. Your son is a counterfeiter and a con man. People get shot in my line of work. Here's the truth. He signed up. (looks Hanratty over) You expect a father to give up his son. I’d like to bring him in alive. Mister Abagnale. He's a pilot for Pan Am! What a life! HANRATTY Your son isn’t a pilot with anyone. serving his country. I do. Real bullets.68 FRANK SENIOR 'CAUSE I BELIEVE THAT LADY LUCK CAN STILL TURN ON A DIME PAULA COMME A LA GUERRE FRANK SENIOR AND MAYBE ONE WILL ONCE AGAIN BE THREE PAULA C'EST C'QUE J'AI TOUJOURS DIT FRANK SENIOR DON'T BE A STRANGER TELL THEM THAT FOR ME PAULA DON'T BE A STRANGER TELL HIM THAT FOR ME BOTH (NO) DON'T BE A STRANGER TELL HIM (THEM) THAT FOR ME. HANRATTY Do you have any idea where your child is? FRANK SENIOR He's always in the air. HANRATTY Can I see that letter? . Real guns.
I'd say. What could they possibly have in common? Oh yeah. the game. FRANK SENIOR Then I think we're all in a lot of trouble. Not a bad way to leave his troubles behind. I did the best I could. Hell. risking his life for you and me. Jesus Christ. the kid used to see me as Dean Martin. You can tell him to stop.) A saloon song for two lonely souls.) HANRATTY Mister Abagnale. Frank Junior quietly replaced by the regular BARTENDER. FRANK SENIOR Please—Frank. FRANK SENIOR What can I possibly do for him that he can't do better for himself? HANRATTY You can tell him to come in. HANRATTY Is that what you taught your son? FRANK SENIOR A man should go after what he wants in life. He got out of the game at just the right time.69 FRANK SENIOR (shakes his head. (The BARTENDER turns to pour for them—and it's Frank Junior. Me. I couldn't live up to that. He's in country. Your kid needs you now. Don't let the bastards get the best of you. You might be the only one who can. (MUSIC. Look out for yourself. Carl. I told him I loved him—every day. and JFK all rolled into one. HANRATTY The game? FRANK SENIOR You know. . HANRATTY Frank. HANRATTY A man should face up to what he's done. puts letter away) No return address. (He smiles and exits as Hanratty and Frank Senior turn back downstage.) FRANK JUNIOR These two need some music. when the banks and the government and the big boys try to rob you blind.
FRANK SENIOR Hah! HANRATTY LITTLE MAN. YOU'RE NO PETER PAN.. FRANK SENIOR Then what the hell do you know about it? I suppose your father was a prince. Carl. SONG: LITTLE BOY.70 HANRATTY Maybe you should've told him not to commit grand larceny. Carl? HANRATTY I do not. KID.. HANRATTY I swear to God. It's the eternal cycle. HANRATTY Yeah. he did not. Every single day. RUN!" . I CAME OUT JUST FINE AND IF I EVER WOULD CRY HE'D SMACK THE TEAR FROM OUT MY EYE HE TOLD ME "GROW UP. BE A MAN YEAH. GROW SOME BALLS FRANK SENIOR Oh. Our fathers screw us up. THAT WAS POP'S ONLY PLAN HE NEVER KISSED ME OR SANG "BABY MINE" SURE. BE A MAN. LITTLE BOY. Of darkness. BE A MAN FRANK SENIOR LITTLE BOY. HANRATTY Until someone breaks it. we turn around and do the same to our kids. I'D HAVE LOVED A HUG BUT HEY." HANRATTY But you want to do your kid better. THAT MOTTO RANG THROUGHOUT THE HALLS ON MY TENTH BIRTHDAY HE SHOWED ME A GUN THEN TOOK ME TO THE CORNFIELDS AND SAID "OKAY . right? FRANK SENIOR You got any kids. FRANK SENIOR Way of the world.
HANRATTY You're sure about that? FRANK SENIOR Ya gotta let go. the kid's great. GROW SOME BALLS BOTH BALLGAMES THAT HE MISSED NIGHTS HE CAME HOME PISSED WELL. SO WAS HIS AIM! IF HE HAD SEWN SOME NEEDLEPOINT THAT HUNG ON THE WALLS (IT WOULDA SAID) LITTLE MAN. like son. HANRATTY LUCKY FOR ME. Carl. waves it) A pilot! Serving his country! (slaps the envelope on the bar) He's doin' fine. huh Frank? FRANK SENIOR (thickly) Aw. Can't hold on forever. (he sings) LITTLE MAN. (pulls the envelope out. I DON'T THINK ABOUT THAT ANY LONGER HANRATTY NO ONE IN THE BLEACHERS FRANK SENIOR FISTFIGHTS WITH MY TEACHERS BOTH I'M LIVING PROOF WHAT DOESN'T KILL YA MAKES YA STRONGER! HANRATTY So what do you say we set the kid straight.71 HIS SENSE OF HUMOR WAS LAME FRANK SENIOR Like father. LITTLE ME THEY COME WITH NO WARRANTY I TRIED TO FIX IT BUT WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED BOTH IT'S HARD TO SAY BUT FATHER DOESN'T ALWAYS KNOW BEST FRANK SENIOR SO CARL. WHEN YOU HAVE A KID HANRATTY MY EX SAID HEAVEN FORBID .
NOT AS I DID BOTH LIKE DAD AFTER DAD AFTER DAD AFTER DAD SINCE THE WHOLE MESS BEGAN FRANK SENIOR YOU DO THE BEST YOU CAN HANRATTY LITTLE BOY. Music switches to “MAN INSIDE THE CLUES” Hanratty picks up the letter. Slaps it against his hand.) BARTENDER Anything else for ya? HANRATTY Payphone? I need to get to Atlanta.) SONG: MAN INSIDE THE CLUES (REPRISE) HANRATTY I’VE LOOKED INTO SO MANY LIVES BUT NEVER GOT THIS CLOSE THE DISTANCE MADE IT EASIER TO SEE I LIKE TO DO THE JOB AT HAND AND THEN IT’S “ADIOS” BUT HERE’S A CASE THAT’S GOT THE BEST OF ME AN ENVELOPE WITH HIS ADDRESS A BRAND NEW SET OF TRACKS LEADING TO A KID WITH NO ROADS LEFT TO CHOOSE THERE’S NO ONE LEFT TO SAVE THE DAY IT’S TIME TO FACE THE FACTS SO I’LL TAKE THAT RIDE TO THE BOY INSIDE THE CLUES (He goes.. he is home. Checks the return address. head on the bar. Hanratty steps outside the bar. sit hard.72 FRANK SENIOR DO AS I SAY. okay? BARTENDER Buddy. and pass out cold. BE A MAN SONG ENDS.. (Hanratty watches Frank Senior waver. (pulls out a few bills) Make sure he gets home. ) . TRANSITION TO . (MUSIC.
. and on the morning of my wedding day I looked at myself in my dress and I realized I didn’t want to marry him.. Code Blue! Party in the I. ordinary. BRENDA You say that now. And I haven’t been back since. FRANK JUNIOR Brenda. it’s fine—I love a challenge. Home. Why would you do something like that? BRENDA I was engaged. (Brenda emerges. BRENDA But why me. FRANK JUNIOR No. And so I left.) BRENDA I’m sorry. (reaches for her) You know I'll never hurt you. (She groans.) Brenda come on.C.. Frank. like . it’s okay—I can wait. It’s okay. I love that I can be myself around you. and he wasn’t very nice to me. FRANK JUNIOR I think we have more than you know. . No reason. I'm sorry. and think of all the beautiful women there must be in Germany.73 Scene 4: Atlanta General Hospital INTERCOM Code Blue. and Italy. To be married. You've been to Paris. I just—I’m not ready. I love that you’re good at your job and that you work hard.) FRANK JUNIOR Brenda. FRANK JUNIOR Brenda.. I mean. Why me? FRANK JUNIOR Because .U. why'd you leave New Orleans? BRENDA (turns away) Oh. I want to. Frank? You could have any nurse here.. (Frank Junior emerges from the covers. BRENDA I didn’t mean to be rude. You know girls from everywhere. BRENDA But you’re the Harvard graduate world traveler and I'm just . I’d wait forever for you.. Well—I sort of ran away. I love that I can ask you anything. But we have nothing in common. it took a month just to get you to talk to me. FRANK JUNIOR You ran away! Wow. He was the son of my father’s law partner.
THE GRAND CANYON? JUST A HOLE.) —just some subtle orchestrations. I don't need a fancy restaurant or a huge orchestra— (He sneaks a look to the bandstand.) SONG: SEVEN WONDERS FRANK JUNIOR I'VE SEEN THE SEVEN WONDERS IF YOU GIVE OR TAKE A FEW BUT ALL THEM SEVEN WONDERS WELL. I'VE TRAVELED NEAR AND FAR BUT NOW I KNOW THAT HOME IS WHERE YOU ARE NIAGARA FALLS? A LEAKY FAUCET THAT A PLUMBER OUGHTA FIX THE PYRAMIDS? ARE REALLY JUST A DUSTY PILE OF BRICKS. I don't need Paris.. THE TAJ MAHAL? A FIXER-UPPER. THE GRAND CANAL IN VENICE? AN EYE-TALIAN TOILET BOWL.. I'VE SEEN THE SEVEN WONDERS IF YOU GIVE OR TAKE A FEW BUT ALL THEM SEVEN WONDERS WELL.) All that other stuff was just what I found along way . THEY CAN'T COMPARE TO YOU I'VE BEEN A LOTTA PLACES YES. And maybe a little mood lighting. BRENDA THE AURORA BOREALIS? FRANK JUNIOR JUST A NIGHT LIGHT ON THE FRITZ BRENDA STONEHENGE? FRANK JUNIOR JUST A BUNCH OF ROCKS . I'VE TRAVELED NEAR AND FAR BUT NOW I KNOW THAT HOME IS WHERE YOU ARE.74 FRANK JUNIOR Ordinary is beautiful. (MUSIC. (Frank sings. while I was looking for you. THEY CAN'T COMPARE TO YOU I'VE BEEN A LOTTA PLACES YES.
if you were engaged? BRENDA Come on. FRANK JUNIOR I won't. BRENDA MOUNT RUSHMORE? FRANK JUNIOR SOMEONE CLIMB UP THERE AND TELL THEM BOYS A JOKE! FRANK JUNIOR + BRENDA YES. You'll change your mind. I want to make a home with you. MY TRAVELIN' DAYS ARE OVER GET THE CHECK. tell them we're in love. NOW I KNOW . I'LL PAY THE BILL 'CAUSE I SEE ALL THE WONDERS IN YOUR EYES. BRENDA HOW 'BOUT THE LEANING TOWER OF PISA? FRANK JUNIOR LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING UP AND BROKE. (sings) I'VE BEEN A LOTTA PLACES BUT I'VE LEARNED NOW NEAR AND FAR THERE'S NO NEED TO ROAM 'CAUSE HOME IS WHERE YOU ARE BRENDA THERE'S NO NEED TO ROAM 'CAUSE HOME IS WHERE YOU ARE FRANK JUNIOR YES. BRENDA We can't just run away.75 BRENDA LA BREA'S TAR? FRANK JUNIOR THE PITS. JUST STANDING STILL. We can run away tonight. FRANK JUNIOR The clock's ticking. Brenda. FRANK JUNIOR We could go to your parents.. Frank. BRENDA My father is very intimidating. Don't tease me. FRANK JUNIOR Do you think you could go home again . You're the overnight ER supervisor.. I can't—I don't want to be a doctor forever.
SONG ENDS.76 FRANK JUNIOR + BRENDA THAT HOME IS WHERE YOU ARE.) FRANK JUNIOR While Brenda and I go get dressed. and catch the train to Nawlins. fast forward a few weeks for a little segment I like to call "Frank's on First. Frank Junior speaks to us. (As they ride off stage on their respective gurneys." .
and Dollar with Doctor Wanamaker. and William Franklin Williams. HANRATTY He's not a pilot. WANAMAKER Wilson Robertson? DOLLAR Robert Wilkinson? HANRATTY Shut up. But that man's a pilot. Frank William Abagnale..) HANRATTY Doctor. William Franklin. Frank Taylor. HANRATTY (to quick head shakes from Wanamaker) What about Robert Franklin? Frank Thompson? Frank Meyers? Meyer Williams? William Robertson? WANAMAKER Robert Wilson? DOLLAR Robert Williamson. A Couple Weeks Later (MUSIC. Dollar. HANRATTY William Robertson. WANAMAKER So is he a doctor? . HANRATTY He's not a pilot. Lights on Hanratty. WANAMAKER That's a lot of names. WANAMAKER He looks like a pilot. (Branton pulls out a picture of Frank Junior) BRANTON Have you seen a man who looked like this? WANAMAKER Maybe . Cod.77 Scene 5: Hospital Corridor.. Frank Williams. we're looking for a man who goes by the names of Frank Abagnale. Branton.
. DOLLAR Jeez. HANRATTY Frank Conners.A. Looked like this? WANAMAKER Without the uniform. Frank Taylor. DOLLAR A. I don't know. DOLLAR I knew a Frank Collins in high school. Dollar. Ran off with a nurse. WANAMAKER You know. Too bad—good doctor. Frank Williams.K. HANRATTY + COD + BRANTON + WANAMAKER Shut up. Turned in all his paperwork on time. Dollar. do you have any idea who you're looking for? (Branton pulls out another photo) BRANTON Frank William Abagnale Junior. we did have a Frank Conners. Don't know where.78 HANRATTY Wait—he's a doctor? WANAMAKER Are you asking me or telling me? HANRATTY Did he say he's a doctor? WANAMAKER Son. COD Frank Collins? WANAMAKER Frank Conners. COD Frank Conners. Frank— HANRATTY Shut up. Brenda something. HANRATTY So who's Frank Collins? WANAMAKER You tell me.
Lights change. as if looking into the camera. and incredibly intimidating future father-in-law. And the cultured.79 HANRATTY You let this man operate on patients? WANAMAKER Oh. on:) . witty. (he crosses to join the Strongs. brilliant. Why? HANRATTY Let's go. Now. introducing the newest feature on our show.. (Hanratty and men leave... in tableau. Roger Strong . Brenda stands nervously in a spot. refined.) FRANK JUNIOR Go ahead.. Carol Strong. MUSIC: A vaudeville out. District Attorney. . Frank Junior is behind her. and unique Mrs. no. (He gives her a little nudge. and she runs to the dining room. Frank Junior continues presenting as each Strong enters in turn. supportively. Brenda Strong. at home with the Strong family! (turns to Frank Junior) Are you sure you're ready for this? FRANK JUNIOR I was born ready. And featuring the lovely. He just supervised the ER. with some dread. HANRATTY For the love of—Doc.) FRANK JUNIOR (to us) Introducing our newest young star. and stands by the dining room table. you ever go in to take out someone’s appendix and come out with something else? WANAMAKER Once or twice. BRENDA And now.
absolutely. sir. you were in California? FRANK JUNIOR Yes. but I hope to have lots of kids. CAROL Amen and goddamn that was beautiful. yes. would you like to say grace? (off Frank Junior's hesitation:) Unless you're not comfortable. BRENDA Mother. CAROL Well goddamn and gumbo. Frank. ROGER Doctor Conners. Much better than that ratty little Delacroix boy. Right behind the Macy’s.) ROGER And before Atlanta. (folds hands. New Orleans (The tableau comes to life as all take their seats for dinner. bows head. ROGER They have a Children's Hospital in Death Valley? FRANK JUNIOR Yes. call me Frank. ah.80 Scene 6: The Strong House. Do you come from a large family? FRANK JUNIOR Please. sir. no. FRANK JUNIOR Oh. ROGER + BRENDA Amen. Family is the most important thing. We pick up the scene in progress. now. Death Valley Children's Hospital. CAROL Ding ding! Correct answer. sir. Brenda. . I'm an only child. Don't lie to me. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned but the second mouse. This one's a hunky hunk of you-betcha. you pious piece of cutie-pie? FRANK JUNIOR The. Are you a Lutheran? FRANK JUNIOR Why. I think you landed one this time. thinks) Two little mice fell into a bucket of cream. Where did you learn that. he struggled so hard that he eventually churned that cream into butter and walked out. ROGER Well then. First Lutheran Church of Death Valley. Amen. I am a Lutheran. But now for the make-or-break round.
CAROL Oh my saints and stars. Columbia . aren’t you full of surprises. to be quite honest.. Frank. The dog was dead when I got there.81 ROGER Frank. . BRENDA Oh. Brenda. could he Daddy? Could he please? Could he come work with you please? ROGER So. Yale. ROGER Are you a doctor or a lawyer? FRANK JUNIOR Before I went to medical school. have you decided which hospital you want to work at here in New Orleans? FRANK JUNOR Well.. Was that snake Hollingsworth still teaching there when you went through Berkeley? FRANK JUNIOR Hollingsworth . ROGER And that dog of his? Tell me Frank. Grumpy old Hollingsworth.. Roger. CAROL Sakes alive. Fantastic. then:) I'm sorry. meaner than ever. darlin'.. right? I tell ya. FRANK JUNIOR (a look to us: he's surprised himself) Yes I am. BRENDA + CAROL Berkeley! BRENDA That's where daddy went! FRANK JUNIOR Oh! Wow. I practiced law for a year. You're always bellyachin' about how hard it is to find assistant prosecutors who aren't bayou inbreds. then I decided. what was the name of his little dog? FRANK JUNIOR (works the problem. why not try my hand at pediatrics? BRENDA Well. I’ve been thinking about getting back into law. yes. ? FRANK JUNIOR Berkeley. Frank should work for you. you got yourself magic on a stick with this one! ROGER Where did you go to law school? Harvard. the yummy Yankee is a doctor and a lawyer! Oh. I passed the bar in California.
. is . and I have a right to know. Tell me the truth. a Lutheran. sir .. I’m nothing. I know what you are. a lawyer.. So what are you.. Daddy! But. What are you doing here? What is a man of your accomplishments doing with Brenda? After all.. FRANK JUNIOR I am? ROGER Yes you are. I'd like to hear the truth from you now. ROGER But who are you Frank? If you want my blessing . Frank! (Brenda and Frank kiss. The truth is I’m not a lawyer. sir? ROGER The truth.) BRENDA Oh. She’s the real thing. Frank? 'Cause I think you're about to ask my daughter's hand in marriage..82 ROGER How unfortunate. y’all! . FRANK JUNIOR Know what. A doctor. FRANK JUNIOR The truth? The truth. Frank. I’m not a doctor. (pause) You’re a romantic. ROGER No. Carol jumps up:) CAROL Oh. Daddy. we’ve been through all this before with her. Men like us are nothing without the women we love. look at the time! ROGER Is it seven-thirty already? BRENDA Is it time for Mitch? FRANK JUNIOR Mitch? CAROL Come on. If you want my daughter . FRANK JUNIOR Brenda’s the best girl I’ve ever known.. FRANK JUNIOR Well goddamn and gumbo! (All laugh. sir.. really. I’m just a kid who’s in love with your daughter.
P. Mitch Miller. MITCH MILLER appears. Mother. SONG: (OUR) FAMILY TREE CAROL I FEEL A MIGHTY QUAKE THE SOUTH BEGINS TO SHAKE UNDER OUR FAMILY TREE THE LEAVES BEGIN TO BLOW GONE WITH THE WIND THEY GO ALL THROUGH OUR FAMILY TREE UP TOP MAGNOLIAS BLOOM THEY SPREAD A SWEET PERFUME FOR THIS ANCESTRAL JUBILEE NOW EVERY BOUGH MUST PULL ITS WEIGHT IT’S TIME TO PRUNE AND PROPAGATE WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY TREE MITCH MILLER Let's hear from those fantastic fathers! ROGER I HEAR THE DOGWOOD'S BARK A SEED'S BEGUN TO SPARK INSIDE OUR FAMILY TREE A TWIG BEGINS TO POKE FROM OUT THAT MIGHTY OAK TO JOIN OUR JAMBOREE CAROL Ruff! Tsst! FAMILY TREE CAROL JAMBOREE MEN SAVE SOME OF THAT GUMBO FOR ME ROGER AND LADIES AND LIKE A SLIDE TROMBONE HE GLIDES OUT FULLY GROWN A DIXIELAND R.83 FRANK JUNIOR Who’s Mitch? (They all head for the couch.S. MUSIC. and the Sing Along Gang! Hey! Don't just sit there. Let's begin with all those beautiful mothers! ROGER Take it. Come on and sing! This one's for the whole family. CAROL AND MEN WA-WAH WA-WA-WA-WAH .V.) MITCH MILLER NBC Presents: Sing Along With Mitch! Starring me.
ALL WOO!! FRANK JUNIOR I'LL GIVE A REBEL YELL TO EVERY SOUTHERN BELLE UNDER OUR FAMILY TREE I'LL SWING THE SECOND LINE WHEN OUR TWO CLANS COMBINE FOR SOME BIG FRANK JUNIOR + ALL EASY HARMONY FRANK JUNIOR TRUMPETS BEGIN TO SHOUT TO WELCOME YOUR NEW SPROUT YOU'VE CHARMED THIS YANKEE REFUGEE YOU’RE ALL SO LUSH AND OVERGROWN BUT I KNOW I’LL NEVER BE ALONE I'M GLAD TO CLIMB YOUR FAMILY TREE ROGER + CAROL + BRENDA + FRANK JUNIOR YOUR LOVE HAS RAISED THE BAR I'M SWINGIN' ON A STAR DOO WOW! FRANK JUNIOR FOR THAT WHO NEEDS A LAW DEGREE?!? GIRLS THE TREES THAT BEAR THE RIPEST FRUITS STRONG FAMILY SINGERS DOO WOW! . MITCH MILLER Frank. will you marry me? BRENDA Yes Frank Conners. Brenda Strong. because they all led me to you. I will marry you.84 ROGER AND NO ONE MINDS AN EXTRA LIMB CAROL ESPECIALLY WHEN IT LOOKS LIKE HIM ROGER + CAROL + LADIES SO WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY TREE MITCH MILLER Ready Frank? FRANK JUNIOR (goes down on one knee) I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. but I wouldn’t change a single one. welcome to the Family Tree.
BOYS ARE THE TREES THAT HAVE THE DEEPEST ROOTS ROGER + CAROL + BRENDA SO WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY STRONGS + STRONG FAMILY SINGERS WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY TREE Look out old Frankie is home! SONG ENDS. (After applause: MUSIC. Roger takes Carol and they dance close. Much as Frank Senior and Paula danced at the top of the show. Frank Junior watches Roger and Carol dance. Brenda returns and helps Frank Junior on with a trench coat. He gives her a kiss, and as Roger and Carol dance off we TRANSITION TO:) FRANK JUNIOR I'M WELCOME IN THE FAMILY TREE!
Scene 7: Dive Bar, New Rochelle (Frank Senior, in a postal uniform, at the bar, a crusty old BARTENDER behind it. Frank Junior enters.) FRANK JUNIOR Dad. FRANK SENIOR (turns, doesn't go to him) What are you doing here? FRANK JUNIOR I came to see you. Why are you dressed like that? FRANK SENIOR I took a job. A government job. I'm beating them at their own game. I'm a government employee—you see how beautiful that is? You got a good lawyer? FRANK JUNIOR I sort of am a lawyer now. FRANK SENIOR Look at this letter. The I.R.S. wants more. They ate the cake. Now they want the crumbs. You know what? I'll make them chase me. For the rest of their lives. (looks at Frank Junior) I had an FBI agent come see me. FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty. FRANK SENIOR You got their number, son. The United States government, champ. Running for the hills. FRANK JUNIOR Dad. It's over. I'm gonna stop now. FRANK SENIOR They're never gonna catch you, Frankie. Why would you stop? FRANK JUNIOR I'm settling down. I'm going to raise a family. (reaches into his coat, pulls out an invitation) I came here to give you this. It's an invitation to an engagement party. Daddy, I'm getting married. Can you believe it? I'm getting married. I've got two tickets for you and mom, first-class, for the wedding— FRANK SENIOR Why would you do that? You're on top of the world. FRANK JUNIOR I'm changing my life, Dad. And you won't have to worry about anything anymore. The house, the Cadillac, Everything they took from us. I’m going to get it all back. And Mom’s gonna see— FRANK SENIOR Your mother's remarried. To my friend Jack Barnes. They have a house out on Long Island.
FRANK JUNIOR Why would she do that? FRANK SENIOR Don't get married, Frankie. FRANK JUNIOR But—why would she do that to us? FRANK SENIOR There's no us anymore. Listen to me. I'm your father. FRANK JUNIOR Then tell me to stop. FRANK SENIOR Why would I tell you to stop? FRANK JUNIOR Because you're my father. FRANK SENIOR You can't stop. You're on a winning streak. You gotta ride it. You gotta ride that, baby. (as Frank Junior begins to back away.) You're an Abagnale! (a cappella, he sings:) THEY KNEW THE KEY TO LIFE (Frank Jr. pushes him away and exits.) Hey, come on and sing it with me, Frankie ... CAUSE WHEN LEMONS CLOG YOUR SINK UP DON’T JUST STAND AROUND AND SCREAM (to the band) Hey, hit it guys ... SPIKE SOME LEMONADE AND DRINK UP AND MAKE BUTTER OUT OF CREAM JUST MAKE BUTTER ... (speaks, almost inaudibly, and almost in darkness:) Frankie. (Suddenly a jangly phone RING pierces the darkness. Frank Junior steps into one spot, Hanratty into another. Both on the phone.) HANRATTY Well, well, Doctor Conners. What do you want? FRANK JUNIOR I want it to be over. I'm getting married, Carl. I'm settling down. I'm going to have a family.
She knows him as Frank Conners. Carl. HANRATTY And does she know the truth? About who you are? FRANK JUNIOR Do you? HANRATTY Almost all of it. (Frank Junior hangs up. Please. HANRATTY He can't. FRANK JUNIOR I'm getting married. The hotel in Lake Charles. the one. You will be caught. (Branton snaps his fingers. but Frank Junior stands stock still in his spot. get all the Louisiana papers. BRANTON He would've changed his name by now. And TRANSITION TO:) . Hanratty looks at us. I met the girl . last two months. Branton joins Hanratty). You think we’re just going to call that a wedding present? This is not something that you can run away from. He loses the name.) HANRATTY They always make a mistake. and goes. And you're tired. Hanratty hangs up. Frank.. Carl. HANRATTY You're scared because you know I'm getting closer. FRANK JUNIOR Goodbye Carl. I know you rented that car in Shreveport. Frank Conners. Look for an engagement notice. HANRATTY Listen. he loses the girl. You will go to jail. Blackout. You're scared.88 HANRATTY You have stolen almost two million dollars. Where did you think this was headed? FRANK JUNIOR Please let me stop.. MUSIC.
You’re gonna leave the house after your parents go to sleep. In two days. where should I put these? They're checks. Here’s money. BRENDA Frank. right? That's who I am with you. you love me no matter what? BRENDA Well—of course. or whether I had a different name? (He opens a suitcase to throw some clothes in. And you're not going to tell anyone. what are you talking about? Why are you saying all this? FRANK JUNIOR I don't want to lie to you anymore. or a Harvard graduate.. I never went to medical school. right? BRENDA Of course. I ran away from home two years ago when I was sixteen. take a taxi cab. Frank. But we all have secrets. Brenda sweeps in. or a Berkeley graduate. or whether I was sick. I'm not a doctor. Strong House.. a Lutheran. You're not a Lutheran? FRANK JUNIOR Okay. . I’ll be too afraid—I’m no good at lying. Brenda. That's my secret. and it's full of money. give the driver that money and tell him to drive all through the night.) BRENDA Frank. I'm not a lawyer. Sometimes when I travel. BRENDA Frank . where'd you get all that money? FRANK JUNIOR A name. or a .) BRENDA Frank. I use the name Frank Taylor. New Orleans (Frank Junior madly pulling suitcases from beneath the bed.89 Scene 8: Brenda's Bedroom. What’s going on? FRANK JUNIOR I mean. Not even your parents. FRANK JUNIOR Whether I was poor.. engagement gifts from Daddy's friends— (breaks off. BRENDA Frank. I can’t. FRANK JUNIOR We have to leave. right—what's a name? My name is Frank Conners.. BRENDA What? FRANK JUNIOR You love me. Here's what we're gonna do. in a party dress. you're gonna meet me at Miami International Airport. sees what he's doing:) What're you doing? Everyone's downstairs waiting to meet the groom-to-be.
HANRATTY Where’d he go? (gets no answer. He guides Brenda to it.) I have to go now. FRANK JUNIOR I know you can.) The spotlight’s on you now. He pulls away gently. Before you go. Carol.) BRENDA Frank! Please. FRANK JUNIOR My name. sweetheart. You have to. this could end very badly. You need to tell me where he’s going. Frank. and you will be. (They kiss. FRANK JUNIOR I love you too. Men who shoot to kill. (A spotlight appears. It’s like I told you before—act like you're brave. No time for goodbyes. Is Frank. (He grabs the suitcase to go.90 FRANK JUNIOR You know you can do this. but she pulls him back. I’m gonna see you real soon. gently:) Listen to me. Abagnale.) CAROL (offstage) Brenda! HANRATTY Brenda.) BRENDA I don’t think I can do this alone. Please tell me your name. We’ve got men after him in every state. Brenda. Now! BRENDA I can’t. (He kisses her again and slips out the window. then. BRENDA I love you. BRENDA Frank— FRANK JUNIOR Shh. Roger. and Hanratty enter. (He turns to go. Junior. . William. Where is he? BRENDA He’s gone.
FLY.) SONG: FLY. YEAH. Three of the guests saw someone leaving out the back.. HE SURE UNLOCKED MY SOUL SO IN RETURN. Carol.) ROGER Brenda. FLY AWAY BRENDA WHEN I WAS A CHILD MY EYES WERE CLEAR. MMM-MMM. FLY AWAY . if you love him.. I SURELY WANT TO HELP TO SET HIM FREE . darling. you’ll do the right thing.91 (Cod bursts in. NOW I WANNA SEE HIM FLY . (Hanratty. WITH HIS SWEET AND GENTLE TOUCH. INDIAN CHIEF BUT HE WAS JUST A LONELY LITTLE BOY TO ME.) Young lady.. (Roger shakes his head and exits. (Brenda continues to look at the pool of light. I SAW THE GOOD SIDE THAT'S THE KIND OF SECOND SIGHT THAT DOESN'T LAST TOO LONG BUT WHEN I WAS LOST I HEARD A VOICE THAT BROUGHT ME HEALING THAT'S THE KIND OF SPECIAL HOPE HE BROUGHT ME WITH HIS SONG PEOPLE ONLY SAW THE DOCTOR. and Cod go.. I DIDN'T GET TO SAY GOODBYE. FLY . AH-AH BRENDA MEN WHO THEY CALL REAL THREE WOMEN . OOH-OOH. moving to go) Don’t go anywhere..) COD Hanratty.... LAWYER. HANRATTY (to Brenda. GOODBYE NO NEED TO TELL ME WHY MY BABY MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY THREE WOMEN OOH-OOH. I'LL BE YOUR ALIBI MY BABY FLY.
FLY AWAY . FLY. MMM-MMM.. WE DIDN'T GET TO SAY GOODBYE.. CRUEL MEN WITH CHRISTIAN NAMES WHO TAUGHT ME MANNERS BUT THIS MAN WITHOUT A NAME TAUGHT ME HOW TO FEEL THEY ONLY SAW THE MAGIC TRICKS THE SMOKE AND MIRRORS OOH-OOH-OOH. AAH-AAH.. FLY . YOU AND I. WE DIDN'T GET TO SAY GOODBYE. OOH-OOH-OOH. OOH-OOHOOH-OOH.. GOODBYE NO NEED TO TELL ME WHY MY BABY MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY BABY WHEN YOU'RE IN THE CLOUDS PLEASE KEEP A LOOKOUT MAYBE DARLING FIND A HIDEAWAY FOR YOU AND I YOU AND I NOW I'LL SEE HIM FLY . FLY . AAH-AAH. OOH-OOH-OOH WAS I THE ONLY ONE TO EVER SEE THE BOY SO NOW THEY WANNA CLIP HIS PRECIOUS WINGS AND BRING HIM DOWN BUT IN HIS HEART AND SOUL'S THE KIND OF GOOD THEY CAN'T DESTROY (Brenda’s bedroom starts to go away) YEAH. FLY AWAY . AAH-AAH . I'VE KNOWN CRUEL. I'LL BE YOUR ALIBI MY BABY FLY... FLY. I'LL BE YOUR ALIBI MY BABY FLY.92 WERE REALLY FAKES WHO LEFT ME NOTHING MMM-MMM-MMM BUT THIS MAN THEY CALL A FAKE GAVE ME SOMETHING REAL AH. AAH. BRING HIM DOWN AAH-AAH... FLY AWAY … GOODBYE BOY. FLY. OOH-OOH. OOH … FLY … FLY … FLY. OOH-OOH. NOW I WANNA SEE HIM FLY .. AAH.. OOH-OOH OOH-OOH AAH-OOH-OOH... AH-AH. GOODBYE NO NEED TO TELL ME WHY MY BABY MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY FLY FLY AWAY GOODBYE MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE OOH-OOH.
93 AAH-AAH. FLY AWAY. SONG ENDS. the deafening roar of a jet plane taking off. OOH. FLY.) . OOH-OOH-OOH-OOH. In black. (Lights to black. MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY AND I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU THERE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY. OOH-OOH-OOH.
get everyone out of here.) HANRATTY Branton. Just go. . Men! (Jerks his head to the Agents. HANRATTY This is one of your tricks. HANRATTY Come on. I'd rather take you alive than dead. lost in thought.) I think they should know who I am and what I did and why I did it. Cod. FRANK JUNIOR I'm sure these people want to know why you're shooting at me. He crosses downstage. Frank. (He smiles at us. Like you did in that hotel room in L. They kind of do. FRANK JUNIOR That was close! You could hurt someone.) HANRATTY For the love of — Dollar. You're not putting on a show for these people. (He looks to them. FRANK JUNIOR Can I at least make a statement first? HANRATTY At the airport? No.A. Agent Hanratty! COD (squints at ceiling) I think you shot down a plane. but this time there's no stinger from the orchestra—only silence. Frank.94 Scene 9: Miami International Airport (Lights on the same airport scene we saw at rise: Dollar has just fired his gun. The Agents watch him closely. who close in) You're not going to fool me again. BRANTON Hanratty don’t let himHANRATTY I got this. what does "hold your fire" mean where you come from? DOLLAR (proud) I fired a warning shot.
with my beloved Brenda. (Hanratty murmurs into his walkie-talkie. HANRATTY You left Brenda behind. You're wanted on every continent. FRANK JUNIOR NOW IT'S TIME TO SAY GOODNIGHT— HANRATTY There's nowhere you can run. HANRATTY Let’s go.95 (The other agents hurry the passengers to the exits. Any minute. HANRATTY That’s not true. YEAH. Frank? What happens when it’s all over? FRANK JUNIOR You mean … (MUSIC. but it’s time for me to settle down to a quiet family life. HANRATTY This is not something that you can walk away from. SONG: GOODBYE FRANK JUNIOR IT'S MY HAPPY ENDING. FRANK JUNIOR TELL THE SPOTLIGHT MAN TURN OFF MY LIGHT.) FRANK JUNIOR It’s sure been an exciting run. (But Frank Junior pays no heed.) FRANK JUNIOR 'CAUSE THE SHOW IS DONE NOW AND IT'S TIME TO LEAVE THE STAGE. Son. FRANK JUNIOR She'll be here. coming downstage to speak to us: our host. FRANK JUNIOR WE CAN STOP PRETENDING.) How does it all end.) When the show’s over? HANRATTY That’s right. THE GOOD GUY WON NOW .
Frank. NOW THE CURTAIN'S DESCENDING AND I HOPE YOU GOT YOUR MONEY'S WORTH . BRENDA Frank. (He starts toward her but stops short when Branton and Dollar appear behind her. I understand.96 AND THE BAND HAS NO MORE SONGS TO PLAY IT'S A HAPPY ENDING SO I'LL SAY GOODBYE GOODBYE TO ALL THE MAKE BELIEVE GOODBYE THERE'S NO MORE MAGIC UP MY SLEEVE THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO ACT UP HERE I'LL TAKE MY BOW AND DISAPPEAR NO QUESTIONS LEFT FOR ANSWERING THERE'S ONLY ONE WORD LEFT TO SING GOODBYE (Brenda appears. I tried. HANRATTY All right. get her out of here. I loved you too. BRENDA Frank—I love you.) BRENDA Frank! FRANK JUNIOR Brenda! Just in time.) FRANK JUNIOR (after she's gone) Yeah. FRANK JUNIOR IT'S A HAPPY ENDING TO THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH.) FRANK JUNIOR Brenda? HANRATTY Brenda was your mistake. We followed her right to you. FRANK JUNIOR It’s okay. I’m sorry. (And they do. HANRATTY It’s time to give up.
FRANK JUNIOR You’re lying to me. The police report said he had been drinking. FRANK JUNIOR My dad’s waiting for me up north. FRANK JUNIOR GONNA STOP THE SHOW NOW 'CAUSE I WANNA LEAVE ON TOP SO GET UP AND GO NOW 'CAUSE THERE'S NOTHING LEFT INSIDE MY HEAD EVERYTHING THAT'S LEFT TO SAY'S BEEN SAID BUT GOODBYE GOODBYE TO ALL THE SONG AND DANCE GOODBYE OFFSTAGE I STAND A BETTER CHANCE THE SHOW IS THROUGH. THE PART'S BEEN PLAYED NO STANDING IN THE WINGS AFRAID NO VIOLINS OR PHONY TEARS THE WORD THAT'S MUSIC TO MY EARS IS GOODBYE GOODBYE GOODBYE GOODBYE I'M NOT AFRAID OF STOPPING THIS END COULD BE MY START I WANNA LIVE A LIFE AND NOT JUST PLAY A PART I'LL WALK INTO THE SUNSET I'LL SAIL ACROSS THE SEA .97 (He turns to exit another way. HANRATTY I don't lie. That's not how this ends. Frank. we’re gonna open up the store— HANRATTY Your dad’s dead. Frank. HANRATTY I’m sorry. FRANK JUNIOR No. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you. but Hanratty is there.) HANRATTY Let’s go. too. You don't get to say that. Grand Central Station-he fell down some steps and broke his neck. We're gonna move back to New Rochelle.
BUT HERE'S THE LAST GOODBYE GOODBYE GOODBYE GOODBYE! SONG ENDS. I just wanted to help him get back on his feet. Because it won’t bring you dad back. The show’s over. (Frank Junior is alone on stage.) FRANK JUNIOR I don’t understand. Hanratty is part of the scene. Hanratty. and crosses down to us.) GOODBYE TO EVERY NIGHT ALONE GOODBYE GOODBYE TO LIVES THAT I DON’T OWN (Frank Junior looks around at the bare stage.) FRANK JUNIOR I'M TIRED OF LIVING ON THE STAGE A LIFE THAT'S ONLY ON THE PAGE THE EMPTY LIVES ARE IN THE PAST I'VE TRIED BEFORE.98 THE FINAL WORD THE LAST YOU'LL HEAR OF ME OF ME IS GOODBYE (He begins to strip the show away. HANRATTY I know. FRANK JUNIOR What if I don't know how? HANRATTY You don’t have a choice. HANRATTY Yup. Time to face up to what you’ve done. I could run. Back to real life. It’s time to stop. FRANK JUNIOR I know. it seems. Frozen in a spot. FRANK JUNIOR I could go. FRANK JUNIOR How do you know? HANRATTY Because you’re tired of running. but you won’t. though everywhere he turns. Mister Hanratty. No—he’s not alone. . Long after the applause has ended. right now.
) Because I'm the only one who can. You’ll come work for the Bureau. Merry Christmas. WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT I'D SHARE THIS DANCE WITH YOU LOOKS LIKE WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER WHICH IS STRANGE BUT TRUE.. . pay your debt to society and we’ll get you out early. (Frank Jr. swiftly embraces Hanratty. BEFORE I SHOOT. You’ll get a life. (Pause. Frank. FRANK JUNIOR So how do we end this? HANRATTY Your way. Listen. then let me out and pay me for what you locked me up for? HANRATTY That’s what I said. come with me. son. it’s only going to get worse . Mister Hanratty.) (Cuffs Frank Jr. FRANK JUNIOR The FBI? Really? You’re gonna lock me up.) SONG: (STUCK TOGETHER) STRANGE BUT TRUE HANRATTY STOP YOUR SOBBIN' KID. YOUR NOSE IS RUNNING ON MY ONLY SUIT. FRANK JUNIOR At the FBI? HANRATTY We need you’re know how.. FRANK JUNIOR But why would you want to help me? HANRATTY (Pause. FRANK JUNIOR Would I get a badge? HANRATTY Even better.99 HANRATTY I know.) FRANK JUNIOR Thanks. We’re years behind in counterfeit and forgery. You do your time. (MUSIC.) HANRATTY Hey. and now with these computers and credit cards coming in.
CAROL Woo! Woo! FRANK JUNIOR I set up my own security company and would pay back every bad check I passed. KID WE'LL SEE WHAT GOOD BEHAVIOR CAN DO. THEY WON'T BE SEEING YOU FOR QUITE A LONG TIME. FRANK JUNIOR Agent Hanratty turned out to be as good as his word. HANRATTY Brenda married a real doctor and lived happily ever after. MISTER TORTOISE—HERE'S YOUR RABBIT STEW. HANRATTY TELL MISTER RIPLEY AT "BELIEVE IT OR NOT" HANRATTY + FRANK JUNIOR THE SHOW IS OVER AND HE'S ALL THAT I GOT. NOW THE CHASE IS DONE. Cheryl Ann. YOU MUST ADMIT I GAVE YOU QUITE THE RUN. AND AFTER YOU'VE PAID FOR YOUR LIFE OF CRIME WELL. (Frank Junior turns to us. Let it go. FRANK JUNIOR Carl and I became good friends. How'd you cheat on the bar exam? FRANK JUNIOR I didn't cheat. I studied. . THANK YOUR PUBLIC WHILE YOU'RE STILL IN YOUR PRIME. and he even was the godfather to my kids.) HANRATTY Keep your promise. HANRATTY Frank was sentenced to fifteen years in prison but was released after seven for good behavior. musters a smile) GUESS YOU CAUGHT ME. HANRATTY FRANK.100 FRANK JUNIOR (wipes his eyes. HANRATTY HARD TO BELIEVE IT BUT WE'RE TYING THE KNOT TODAY FRANK JUNIOR THAT'S OKAY. LOOKS LIKE WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER WHICH IS STRANGE BUT TRUE. HANRATTY Not now. HANRATTY No! I hate you. CHERYL ANN He never paid me back. HANRATTY AND FRANK JUNIOR 'TIL THEN WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER WHICH IS STRANGE BUT TRUE.
MONKEY DO. . HANRATTY LET'S MAKE SOME BUTTER OUT OF CREAM! (Hanratty and Frank Jr. exit though the house. HANRATTY A SIMPLE CASE OF MONKEY SEE. AND TELL J. FRANK JUNIOR + HANRATTY BUT NOW A NEW DUET HAS MADE ITS DEBUT AND NOW WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER COMPANY OH YEAH! BOTH IN AND OUT OF LUCK TOGETHER! COMPANY OH YEAH! BOTH I'M GLAD WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER WHICH IS STRANGE BUT TRUE. FRANK JUNIOR I'M GLAD TO BE ON YOUR TEAM. FRANK JUNIOR YOUR JUNIOR PARTNER CAME THROUGH. "BABY I'VE GONE FISHIN'!" (Frank Jr. EDGAR HOOVER. and Hanratty ad lib) FRANK JUNIOR IF YOU HAD READ THIS. YOU'D HAVE SAID "NO WAY!" I ALMOST MAKE IT LOOK LIKE CRIME DOES PAY THERE'S LOTS OF FOLKS THAT I MISS EVERYDAY (He looks around at all the faces from his past—the full company. MISTER TWO-ON-THE-AISLE— YOU NEVER CAN PREDICT WHEN FORTUNE MAY SMILE.) THE END. HANRATTY IN FACT.101 (MUSIC BUILDS as the full company enters. MISTER LAWYER. I THINK I'M GONNA BREAK WITH TRADITION.) FRANK JUNIOR + HANRATTY+FULL COMPANY HEY.
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