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ACT ONE Prologue A gate area of a large, ultra- modern airport—circa 1960s. Lights fade up. We hear the sounds of JETS taking off and landing. ANNOUNCEMENTS murmur throughout. Courtesy phones, pages for passengers, calls for specific airlines and flights, mentioning long-gone airlines like TWA, Braniff, and Pan Am. VOICE OVER ANNOUNCEMENT Welcome to Miami Dade International Airport. Braniff flight 663 service to New York’s Idlewild Airport is now boarding. PASSENGERS hurry back and forth, to and from their flights. FRANK ABAGNALE, JR. has been sitting on an airport chair reading the newspaper. FBI Agents enter, revolvers drawn: BRANTON and DOLLAR. They mistakenly pursue an airline passenger running for his flight. BRANTON There he is! Hold it right there! DOLLAR Stop or I'll shoot! AGENT CARL HANRATTY enters from Stage Right. As with the other agents, we don't see much beneath the fedora. HANRATTY Hold your fire! Where the heck is he? He’s not giving us the slip this time. Frank Junior, carrying a suitcase, rises from the chair and quickly runs up the aisle. Hanratty looks off stage, then notices Frank Junior exiting in the house. Frank Junior, still carrying his suitcase, quickly reverses course and jumps up onto the stage with AGENT COD on his tail. The Agents chase him. Wait a minute, Men. There he goes! That’s him! Goddangit that’s him!
BRANTON Don't move! DOLLAR I'll shoot! I will shoot! Frank Junior hesitates ... COD And he's a really bad shot. ... then takes off again. Hanratty gives chase. HANRATTY Dammit! COD (overlapping) There. There he is! BRANTON (overlapping) No you don’t! DOLLAR (overlapping) I'm gonna shoot! A deafening SHOT stops everyone in their tracks. The Passengers all stop and stare. FRANK, JR. drops the suitcase which falls open, exposing its contents. Large quantities of cash. HANRATTY For the love of—Dollar, what does "hold your fire" mean where you come from? DOLLAR
I fired a warning shot, Agent Hanratty! COD
(squints at ceiling)
I think you shot down a plane. FRANK JUNIOR That was close! You could hurt someone. HANRATTY Come on, Frank. I'd rather take you alive than dead. FRANK JUNIOR Can I at least make a statement first? HANRATTY At the airport? No. FRANK JUNIOR I'm sure these people want to know why you're shooting at me.
(Looks to them: they kind of do)
I think they should know who I am and what I did and why I did it.
HANRATTY This is one of your tricks. Men! (Jerks his head to the Agents, who close in) You're not going to fool me again, Frank, like you did in that hotel room in L.A. You're not putting on a show for these people. FRANK JUNIOR A show? (MUSIC: A figure from the orchestra—we'll call it our STINGER. Frank Junior looks at us and smiles.) A show. (Frank Junior snaps his fingers. MUSIC CONTINUES with a huge timpani roll. A sudden reveal shows a lavish backdrop and tuxedoed ORCHESTRA on a jazzy bandstand.) We need some lights. (He waves his arm. Lights change.) COD The hell is he doing? FRANK JUNIOR A studio audience. HANRATTY Misdirection. It's a con. That's the technique. FRANK JUNIOR Cameras. And the Frank Abagnale Junior Orchestra! (He waves to the Orchestra, the CONDUCTOR acknowledges, and launches into the song proper.) HANRATTY Frank, what the hell are you doing? Branton, Cod, get everyone out of here. (As the other agents hurry the passengers to the exits, Hanratty edges upstage to check out the orchestra, keeping his gun on Frank Junior ... ... who crosses downstage to us.) FRANK JUNIOR My name is Frank William Abagnale ... Junior. This is my story. HANRATTY These people have musical instruments.
HANRATTY You think your life is a T. And I did it in style. Hanratty comes downstage and notices us. my whole life flashed before my eyes. Modesty has never been one of my virtues. I stole every nickel of it. and tries not to be too unsettled.) SONG: LIVE IN LIVING COLOR FRANK JUNIOR LIVE IN LIVING COLOR LET ME TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE YES.) HANRATTY All right. I flew almost five million miles as a Pan Am pilot. Hanratty points the gun at Frank Junior. the highlights.. FRANK JUNIOR True story. I'M LIVE IN LIVING COLOR SO SIT BACK AND LET ME BE YOUR T. I saw it all! Well I mean. Mister Hanratty thinks he has all the facts. As he does. FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty. (He sings to us. and worked as a prosecutor for the State of Lousiana. special? FRANK JUNIOR I know. all under assumed names. and Hanratty finds himself surrounded by dancing bodies .) ENSEMBLE (on Frank Junior's "color") LIVE IN LIVING COLOR . Now.4 FRANK JUNIOR I was a millionaire twice over and half again before I was twenty-one. you're coming in.V.V. mom and dad and me. GUIDE! (The groove kicks in. HANRATTY Virtue has never been one of your virtues. Like we used to watch. when that shot rang out. Frank. that’s enough. practiced medicine at a top Atlanta hospital.. but only I know just how I did it. (sings) I GOTTA STORY I'D LIKE TO TELL BUT I'M GONNA NEED HELP TO TELL IT WELL I GOTTA STORY ABOUT FAME AND MONEY AND IT'S GOT MORE CURVES THAN A PLAYBOY BUNNY I WANNA LIVE NOT JUST SURVIVE I WANNA TELL MY STORY LIVE AND IN LIVING COLOR! (The ENSEMBLE has entered. Like on a television special or something.
. and he ducks. HANRATTY He likes girls.V. When he got caught his only excuse was— FRANK JUNIOR I like girls. Has been since the age of sixteen.5 (. Folks.) FRANK JUNIOR SOMETHING SPECIAL'S UP TONIGHT YES I'M FRANK JUNIOR + ENSEMBLE LIVE IN LIVING COLOR FRANK JUNIOR LIFE AIN'T LIVED IN BLACK AND WHITE! (speaks) Ladies and gentlemen. when he bilked twenty grand from his father's Mobil card to buy presents for girls. and bring in the set." FRANK JUNIOR Oh.! (speaks) Also starring my parents.) HANRATTY Hold on. Tell the folks. Frank. by the time this guy was twenty years old. Frank and Paula Abagnale! .. He's a con man. and fights his way out to one side. The Ensemble dress Frank Junior for the show. plain and simple. you mean like the story of how Superman became Superman? HANRATTY (half beat) Your ability to pull myth from manure is truly impressive. FRANK JUNIOR Thank you! FRANK JR. the Frank Abagnale Junior Singers and Dancers! (Hanratty fights his way through the Frank Abagnale Junior Singers and Dancers and speaks to us. flails. he had stolen almost one-point-eight million dollars. listen. + ENSEMBLE LIVE IN LIVING COLOR FRANK JUNIOR AND IT'S BROUGHT TO YOU BY ME YES IT'S LIVE IN LIVING COLOR ENSEMBLE LIVE IN LIVING COLOR FRANK JUNIOR THIS WON'T FIT IN YOUR T. as Frank Junior continues. how "I like girls" becomes "I'm wanted on five continents.
(Hanratty steps in. beautifully.) CHERYL ANN I'm surprised you even remembered my first name. Stunning and romantic. PAULA I always get into trouble when I dance with you. Cheryl Ann .. sweet. So they crammed two hundred soldiers into a tiny social hall and the first person to walk on stage is your mother. FRANK SENIOR (To us) All the people in that little French village were so happy to see Americans that they decided to put on a show for us... you no good sonofabitch— FRANK JUNIOR Thank you. Something! (Lights on CHERYL ANN. Listen. don't try to sell me [some sentimental picture of domestic bliss]— (Frank Junior plows forth as MUSIC CHANGES. faithful and true Brenda Strong. FRANK SENIOR and PAULA enter in a sweep.) HANRATTY [continuing as needed] Frank. My mother was young and beautiful. (They dance. The men are literally holding their breath. A little village called Montrichard. and begin to dance together. My dad was a GI. They are mirrored by two other dancing couples.) FRANK JUNIOR When I was a kid. R.. Cheryl Ann! And introducing the Strong family. And I turned to my buddies and I said— FRANK SENIOR + FRANK JUNIOR —I am not leaving France without that woman. After the war. and she starts to dance .6 (MUSIC CHANGES. Frank Senior sweeps Paula off her feet. featuring the beautiful. I interviewed both your parents. and they dance off with the other couples. Frank! . FRANK JUNIOR Also starring Playboy's Playmate of the Year. who's pissed.! (Lights on BRENDA. come on.N. I could watch them dance all night. Frank Junior watches. with ROGER and CAROL STRONG behind her) BRENDA Hi.) My parents met in France.
I GOTTA STORY THAT'S STRANGE BUT TRUE ENSEMBLE SHOO-BEE DOO-WOP. BRENDA Frank. BRENDA Frank.7 FRANK JUNIOR Hi. And says. BOP-BOP EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT IT'S THE CLOTHES THAT MAKE THE MAN CLOTHES THAT MAKE THE MAN PLAY THE GAME SHOO-BEE DOO-WOP. (Brenda exits with her parents. I don't want to hear any more. I think you want the rest of the story. to himself:) FRANK JUNIOR I loved you. deal. Frank Junior watches. How’d you pass the bar exam? In New Orleans? How’d you cheat the bar? FRANK JUNIOR All right Mr. FRANK JUNIOR You're gonna be great. there’s something that still bugs me. and I’ll tell you anything. You let me finish. you’re one of the stars. BOP-BOP . too. Now. Hanratty I’ll make you a deal. BOP-BOP MIX AND MATCH ME TRY TO CATCH ME IF YOU CAN OH. I've heard all I can hear. (Hanratty has had enough.) HANRATTY All right. I wouldn’t do this for anyone but you. Frank. Or whatever you're calling yourself today … wait … where am I going? (Hanratty disappears down the center elevator lift) FRANK JUNIOR WHAT'S IN A NAME? JUST WINDOW DRESSING SHOO-BEE DOO-WOP. FRANK JUNIOR I don’t believe you. Listen. HANRATTY Okay. will you wait for me over there? I'll let you know when it's time. In fact. We owe each other that much. I love you. Frank. I've got this show to do and you're gonna be in it. don’tcha think? I’ll get to tell my story. And you’ll have a full confession. BOP-BOP JUST KEEP 'EM GUESSING SHOO-BEE DOO-WOP. wait a minute. Brenda. HANRATTY I know the whole story – All right.
YES I'M LIVE IN LIVING COLOR TUNE ME IN AND TURN ME ON. YES I'M LIVE IN LIVING COLOR BLINK YOUR EYES BLINK YOUR EYES AND I'LL BE GONE LIVE IN LIVING COLOR LIVE IN LIVING COLOR LIVE IN LIVING COLOR BLINK YOUR EYES BE GONE! SONG ENDS. 1964.. A beautiful house on the best street. and the Ensemble comes forward—and set the stage for the Abagnale home. (MUSIC begins again. YES I'M LIVE IN LIVING COLOR BLINK YOUR EYES AND I'LL BE GONE. The ensemble break their tableaux and dance in the background as Frank Junior speaks to us — our host. New York. The house everyone wanted. and the family everyone wanted to be. The Abagnale home.) FRANK JUNIOR Ladies and gentlemen.) .) SONG: LIVE IN LIVING COLOR (TAG) ENSEMBLE LIVE IN LIVING COLOR TUNE ME IN AND TURN ME ON LIVE IN LIVING COLOR BLINK YOUR EYES AND I’LL BE GONE (As we complete the TRANSITION TO . our story begins on Christmas Eve.. New Rochelle.8 I GOTTA STORY THAT'S STRANGE BUT TRUE SO COME FLY WITH ME FOR A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW SO COME FLY WITH ME FOR A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW I'VE GOT THE WORLD AT MY COMMAND I'VE GOT THE WORLD AT MY COMMAND AND I'LL BE YOUR ONE-MAN DISNEYLAND AND I'LL BE YOUR ONE-MAN DISNEYLAND I DON’T WANNA WAIT FOR THE COPS TO ARRIVE I WANNA TELL MY STORY LIVE AND IN LIVING COLOR LIVE IN LIVING COLOR TUNE ME IN AND TURN ME ON. (Frank Junior goes.
Paula opens the Christmas Tree. FRANK SENIOR It’s that Abagnale magic. PAULA I think I know the feeling. Frank Jr. Frank. Frank Senior watches her. right there . Frank Junior is watching a small color television set. New Rochelle (. .) FRANK JUNIOR Wow Dad... PAULA Frank. I DO have dinner going(But she starts to dance with him. C’mon – dance with me. The Abagnale House. is still with the television. PAULA But – so that I understand – you left this morning with a Cadillac and two hundred dollars and come home with a Christmas tree. a television set. and a used Ford? FRANK SENIOR Can I strike a bargain or what? I left those guys with their heads spinning. and the dancers move to the background and then disappear. and the SINGERS fade from house speakers to the television set—they're on the show Frank Junior is watching.9 Scene 1: Living Room.) ENSEMBLE (ON TV) LIVE IN LIVING COLOR … LIVE IN LIVING COLOR … SONG ENDS. FRANK SENIOR How about that thirteen-inch screen? FRANK JUNIOR It’s like Andy Williams is right here in our living room. you're right—everything is better in color. FRANK SENIOR It’s the genuine spirit of real Christmas. PAULA It truly is a beautiful tree.one hundred percent acrylic.
FRANK JUNIOR Oh. There’s always another move to make.) FRANK JUNIOR That’s great you got the loan. use the mortgage to leverage the bank loan.10 FRANK SENIOR Nothing’s too good for my boy or my bride.) Fifty checks. A house. They have all the money. And this means from this day on. investigation. I put twenty-five dollars in it so you can buy whatever you want. The second mouse wouldn't quit. FRANK JUNIOR Thanks. FRANK JUNIOR You didn’t – but I thought you saidFRANK SENIOR I got something better. FRANK JUNIOR But why didn't they give you the loan? FRANK SENIOR Ah. Dad. The account's in your name. FRANK JUNIOR But Dad. (She goes. It’s all a dance – swap the Caddy for the Ford. I didn’t get the loan. Don't tell your mother. But if they didn't give you the loan. you're in their little club. why did you — FRANK SENIOR One day you’re gonna want something from these people. FRANK SENIOR And who are we? . a car. Frankie. use the extra cash to pay the mortgage. They won't loan to anyone under I. FRANK SENIOR Shh. You remember this story. it’s just a technicality. Two little mice fell into a bucket of cream. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned. use the loan to tide the business over until you can get the Caddy back. (hands him a checkbook.R. PAULA (pulls away) I really should see to dinner. didn’t those guys know you were getting away with something? FRANK SENIOR People only know what you tell them. He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into butter … FRANK SENIOR AND FRANK JUNIOR … and he climbed out. FRANK SENIOR Listen to me. Dad.S.
(MUSIC. The man with all the moves. mesmerized.. staring at the pinstripes. my dad—Frank . THOSE LADIES GAVE THANKS TO US VISITING YANKS CAUSE THE PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT THEY SEE (Frank Senior is joined by a bevy of BEAUTIFUL GIRLS in Yankee pinstripes.. It's not Joe Pepitone. you know what ? We're going downtown to buy you your Christmas present.11 FRANK JUNIOR We're the second mouse. FRANK JUNIOR Dad.. WHAT SHE SAW … WAS THE UNIFORM! THROUGH THE DIRT AND DEBRIS YEAH. As a matter of fact. FRANK SENIOR Frankie. that’s too expensive. It's the uniform. A brand new Botany 500 suit.. We're gonna be fine. Frank Junior comes downstage: our host.) The other teams just stand there. WHAT THEY SEE IS THE UNIFORM HOW IT FITS TO A TEE LIKE THAT VISITING TEAM THAT THE YANKEES WILL CREAM THE PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT THEY SEE BEAUTIFUL GIRLS OOOOOOOH SMILE AND RELAX SMILE AND RELAX . SONG: THE PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT THEY SEE FRANK SENIOR WHEN YOUR MOTHER WALKED INTO THAT DANCEHALL IN MONTRICHARD WHAT DID SHE SEE? THROUGH THE HAZE OF CHAMPAGNE DID SHE NOTICE MY BRAIN OR MY COLLEGE DEGREE? KID. the smartest man I know. pausing as needed) Ladies and gentlemen. The Dodgers were so scared they had to leave town. Senior! FRANK SENIOR WHEN A PILOT WALKS ONTO THE PLANE ALL THE PASSENGERS SMILE AND RELAX DO THEY SEE HE’S STILL TIGHT FROM THAT PARTY LAST NIGHT AND THE BACK TO BACK “JACKS”? STEWED TO THE MAX FRANK SENIOR NO!. You know why the Yankees win all the time? It's not the Mick. Abagnale .) FRANK JUNIOR (to us. FRANK SENIOR Damn straight we are.
and he emerges dressed smartly in his prep-school blazer.12 (The Beautiful Girls surround Frank Junior. not quite separately. Paula comes to Frank Junior.) IF YOU WANNA BE A SOMEONE YOU CAN’T LOOK LIKE A BUM A BOOK’S JUDGED BY IT’S COVER THAT’S THE FIRST RULE OF THUMB I WANNA SEE YA TAKE OFF STRAIGHT TO THE TOP FLOOR START DRESSIN’ TO IMPRESS ‘EM SON YOU'LL STROLL IN THE FRONT DOOR A KID IN A MAN’S CANDY STORE … (As Frank Junior speaks to us. Jack goes to Frank Senior and shakes his hand. MUSIC CONTINUES as we CONTINUE TO:) . Jack Barnes and Paula enter.
) JOCK Yeah.B. You do what you have to do. I mean.13 Scene 2: New Rochelle High School FRANK JUNIOR Everybody loved my dad. kisses him on the cheek. is this room 17 French? NERD (checking his outfit) Who wants to know? The F. Comme tu es beau! (She sighs. (STINGER. You aren't afraid of anything. the head of the Chamber of Commerce. FRANK JUNIOR I'm used to it. (Lights change.) FRANK JUNIOR Shouldn’t you boys be in class? Depechez-vous. like a substitute teacher or somethin'. public school is only for now. Frank Junior heads to school. Frank Senior and Paula are with a dour female PRINCIPAL. PAULA Well. you don't have to wear your school blazer. called him— FRANK JUNIOR AND JACK BARNES —the most popular businessman in New Rochelle! PAULA Frankie. you do look handsome. Vite.) . and goes.. Mom.? (The two students LAUGH and move past him. Francis before you know it. You're going to public school now. Vite. the Jock accidentally-on-purpose bumping Frank Junior and sending him stumbling. He is met by a JOCK and a NERD) FRANK JUNIOR 'Scuse me. FRANK JUNIOR I’ll be fine. what's the Flash without his suit? Anyway.. Jack Barnes. Frank Junior looks at us and smiles. Vite. And. Dad'll get back on his feet and I'll be back at St. PAULA My brave little soldier. He looks like a .I.
As Frank Senior shakes hands with the Principal. PRINCIPAL Well. on my way in from the outer office.) FRANK SENIOR French fry factory?! (Finally. Looks at his son. nervously. Abagnale. Your son held three teacher-parent conferences yesterday. WE’RE GONNA HIT THE HIGH-LIFE WE’VE ONLY JUST BEGUN WE’RE GONNA BE TOGETHER FRANK SENIOR AND SON DINE AT “THE LATIN QUARTER” A NIGHTCAP AT “TOOTS SHOR” YEAH. WE’RE GONNA BE AT RINGSIDE LIFE WILL BE BETTER THAN BEFORE FOR TWO KIDS IN A MAN’S CANDY STORE . (But she takes it. and was planning a class field trip to a French Fry Factory in Trenton. Is it yours? (He pulls a locket necklace from his pocket. (Frank Junior waits. who exits opposite.) PAULA Frankie … Je ne peux pas. Frank Senior LAUGHS.) PAULA You have to forgive him. please. There's been so much change. outside the Principal's office. Frank Senior takes her place. We lost our house— FRANK SENIOR (smoothly cuts her off) Principal Owings. Lecturing the students. who slowly meets his gaze. Glaser's French class. FRANK SENIOR You must have dropped it.14 PRINCIPAL OWINGS Mr. Mister Abagnale. Frank has been teaching Mrs. giving out homework. PAULA He what? PRINCIPAL Your son has been pretending to be a substitute teacher. putting on his hat. Looks like it was made for you. I regret to inform you that for the past week. Paula goes to Frank Junior. and Mrs. (She shakes her head again and goes. And Frank Junior LAUGHS.) PAULA Frank. I found this necklace on the floor.) FRANK SENIOR AND FRANK JUNIOR YEAH.
(Frank Senior claps his son on the shoulder and goes. Frank Junior moves to follow, but sees BETTY.) FRANK JUNIOR Hi. BETTY Hi. Is the Principal in her office? I need to give her this note from my mother, excusing me from sixth period. FRANK JUNIOR You should fold it. It's more believable that way. BETTY No, this really is a note from my mother. FRANK JUNIOR What's the first thing you do when your mother hands you a note? You fold it up and put it in your pocket. (A half-beat, and Betty folds the note.) BETTY Thanks. I'm Betty. FRANK JUNIOR Frank. BETTY Nice jacket. (She plants an impulsive kiss on his cheek, and goes. He swoons and sings.) WHAT THEY SEE IS THE UNIFORM JUST ASK ONE MAITRE D’ OR A TAILOR IN PARIS GO ASK ROGER MARIS! THE PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT THEY SEE (Frank Junior dances his way home as we TRANSITION TO ...)
Scene 3: The Abagnale Apartment, Downtown New Rochelle (... and as Frank Junior dances right on in the door, his mother and father dance on opposite. But with a turn, in an instant, we see that it's not his father. It's JACK BARNES. And Frank Junior sees this, and they see him. MUSIC STOPS suddenly.) SONG ENDS. FRANK JUNIOR Mom, Dad I met this girl – PAULA Frankie! You remember your father's friend, Jack Barnes? FRANK JUNIOR Hello. JACK BARNES Frank. Good to see you. Paula … I … Take care. (He grabs his hat and goes. Frank Junior is silent.) PAULA Are you hungry, Frankie? I'll make you a sandwich. (Frank Junior doesn't move.) Frankie? (No answer.) You're not going to tell him. FRANK JUNIOR No. PAULA That's right. There's nothing to tell. I'm going out for a few hours to visit some old friends from the tennis club, and when I get back, we'll all have dinner together, right? (Frank Junior rubs his eyes. Paula gets her pocketbook.) Do you need some money, Frankie? A few dollars to buy some comic books? Here, take two. (She stuffs two dollar bills in his pants pocket. He doesn’t acknowledge her. Then …) FRANK JUNIOR Two hundred soldiers in that tiny social hall, and you ... you ... PAULA I was sixteen years old when I met your father. I was your age. How could I know what I wanted? Dites donc?
FRANK JUNIOR You wanted him. PAULA I did, once. And I wanted to get out of France. And I wanted to have a child. (She reaches for him, but he pulls away.) (considers him, then) It was a long time ago, Frankie. Believe me, one day you'll look at yourself, and you won't be who you were. (He turns away from her and walks into his bedroom: piles of comic books, a "Flash" bedspread. He takes his jacket off and tosses it.) SONG: SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN FRANK JUNIOR THERE’S NO PHONE BOOTH THERE’S NO CAPE THERE’S NO STEVE MCQUEEN TO HELP ME MAKE MY GREAT ESCAPE HOW CAN I FLY LIKE A HERO IN THE SKY BE A SHOOTING STAR OUT IN THE STRATOSPHERE WHERE’S “THE SHADOW”? HE MIGHT KNOW WHERE’S THAT SEARCHLIGHT IN THE SKY TO POINT THE WAY TO GO? THROUGH SOME NEW CLOUD TO DISAPPEAR INTO THE CROWD THOUGH THE FUTURE’S DARK THERE’S ONE THING CRYSTAL CLEAR THAT THERE’S NO HOME HERE … (MUSIC CONTINUES as we TRANSITION TO:)
but it's better if the family does. I’ve got no room to move here. overlapping. Frankie. PAULA Nobody's fighting.) JUDGE Son. Doesn't tell me why.) FRANK JUNIOR SO MANY VOICES TELLING ME TO CHOOSE JUDGE The court can decide these things..) FRANK JUNIOR (to us) One day the principal pulls me out of class and drives me to the Courthouse. Frankie. people fighting over their children. Do what you have to do. (. I walk in and I see my parents up front. Look at me. FRANK JUNIOR THIS KINDA NOISE JUST MAKES ME WANNA SHOUT PAULA My brave little soldier. Your mother or your father.18 Scene 4: Family Court and Train Station. Nobody's fighting. just give them a name. DON’T JUMP THE TRACK TRY A NEW GAME AND PRAY THAT I CAN WIN . with their lawyers. Frank Junior comes downstage for that "break-in-a-ballad" confessional moment... and this will all be over. as Frank Junior sings to us. and as the bedroom goes away. New Rochelle (The Family Court Judge appears with Frank Senior and Paula .. It's going to be okay. FRANK JUNIOR I’D LIKE TO BUY A ONE-WAY TICKET OUT FRANK SENIOR I’m sorry. listen to me. FRANK JUNIOR RULES OF THE ROAD SAY DON’T LOOK BACK EYES STRAIGHT AHEAD. FRANK JUNIOR IT’S LIKE A GAME WHERE EITHER TEAM I LOSE FRANK SENIOR Frankie. (The adults continue. and the judge. JUDGE It can get very expensive. We just need a name.
what? FRANK JUNIOR — but I keep talking. COMMUTERS hurrying to and fro. One way is three. The Family Court disappears. HOO HOO (The RAILROAD AGENT appars and Frank Junior approaches. isolating Frank Junior. who turns to go.) FRANK JUNIOR Okay. Frank Junior turns and runs. because I don't plan on coming back— (The Railroad Agent takes the money from Frank Junior. MUSIC CHANGES. and he gives me two dollars. and speaks rapidly. so now I have four dollars which is enough for my one way ticket to Manhattan. using a nifty bit of sleight-of-hand. Misdirection. as the Railroad Agent continues as if Frank Junior is still just in the scene with him. and in his confusion he thinks he owes me change. but:) RAILROAD AGENT Hold it! FRANK JUNIOR What? . without pause. Frank is on the street.) COMMUTERS HOO-HOO. Maintain eye contact. (The Railroad Agent holds up the bills. or in this case my money back. please. I just knew I had to get out. And I take my money back from the ticket seller and I make it disappear — (He does. Lights change. so I didn't really know what I was doing. and I'm not proud of this but my instincts took over. He looks at us. Keep talking. He holds out a couple of crumpled bills) FRANK JUNIOR One for Grand Central Station. even though he doesn't owe me any change — RAILROAD AGENT Wait. RAILROAD AGENT Round trip is five dollars. You have two.19 'CAUSE I JUST DON'T FEEL AT HOME IN MINE SO I'LL SLIP NOW INTO SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN (And as the music hits a driving groove. and waiting for my change.) — and I spin some tale about meeting my grandmother at Idlewild while I ask for my change. MUSIC CHANGES.
20 RAILROAD AGENT Your ticket. and this is the way I found.. SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN. (MUSIC STARTS TO BUILD as he continues. the ten-fifteen to New York City! FRANK JUNIOR RUN DOWN THE STREET RUN OUT OF TOWN I'M GONNA RUN FROM THE HOME TEAM AND NEVER TOUCH DOWN RUN FROM THE BOOKS 'CAUSE IT'S ALL BEEN A FAKE I'M GONNA RUN FROM THE CHOICES THAT I DON'T WANNA MAKE SCHOOL'S NOT OUT BUT I CAN'T WAIT IT'S THE PERFECT TIME TO GRADUATE TODAY I'VE GOTTA RUN AWAY NOW I'VE GOT TO RUN AWAY I KNOW THEY'LL SEE THE TRUTH WHEN I MOVE ON THEY'LL NEED EACH OTHER MUCH MORE ONCE I'M GONE AND WHEN I'M FLUSH AND HE'S BACK ON HIS FEET I'LL PICK HIM UP AND RIDE DOWN EASY STREET NO TIME TO CRY FOR ALL THE YEARS A RUSTY GAS TANK FULL OF TEARS GETS YOU NOWHERE NOT THE PLACES I WANT IN AND I JUST DON'T FEEL AT HOME IN MINE SO I'LL SLIP NOW INTO SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN. (MUSIC CONTINUES as we TRANSITION TO:) OO-OO-OO FULL OF TEARS COMMUTERS RUN DOWN THE STREET RUN OUT OF TOWN RUN FROM THE BOOKS 'CAUSE IT'S ALL BEEN A FAKE AH AH AH AH TODAY HOO-HOO HOO-HOO AH-AH AH-AH AH-AH AH-AH SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN.) They wanted me to choose . but you do what you have to do. SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN. SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN.. . Like I said. SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN. SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIN. and I chose. I had to find a way out. FRANK JUNIOR Thanks. I'm not proud of it. The New Haven line. Track Two.
With a pair of scissors you can cut and paste names from other documents.21 Scene 5: Chase Bank. you're ten years older. A FOURTH ATTRACTIVE ASSISTANT holds Frank’s briefcase for him) Swiss Army Penknives can help you alter the age on your driver's license.) These great products can help you survive your first few weeks in New York with just fifty checks and a driver's license. And if Frank Taylor wears out his welcome— ELMER’S GLUE ASSISTANT (with Elmer's Glue) You can be Frank Adams! ATTRACTIVE ASSISTANT #2 Or Frank Conners. (Three ATTRACTIVE ASSISTANTS bring in the products as Frank describes them. ATTRACTIVE ASSISTANT #1 Or William Taylor. ladies and gentlemen. Manhattan (On applause from SOMEONE ELSE’S SKIN.) FRANK JUNIOR And now. and you're officially Frank Taylor Junior. Frank Junior comes downstage to speak to us. INDIA INK ASSISTANT (with bottle of ink) And no one can tell the difference! FRANK JUNIOR Elmer's Glue is perfect for the craftsperson of any age who needs to change their name. A DAB. a word from our sponsors! (He gestures. and three ATTRACTIVE ASSISTANTS come dancing in. SWISS ARMY KNIFE A SNIP. A TOUCH OF GLUE THREE ASSISTANTS AND YOU’LL BE GOOD TO GO FRANK JUNIOR BIG THANKS TO ALL OUR SPONSORS! INDIA INK ELMER’S GLUE . Because a sixteen-year-old cashing a check or opening an account by himself— SWISS ARMY KNIFE ASSISTANT (with Swiss Army knife) —gets a lot of questions! FRANK JUNIOR Higgins brand Genuine Original India Ink flows easily through your pen or brush—a few dabs on your license.
Very good. RIGHT BACK TO THE SHOW! (As the Assistants dance off Stage Left. Very entertaining. I know. thanks for stopping by.) What he’s leaving out folks. FRANK JUNIOR Say.22 THREE ASSISTANTS NOW.B. in his charming fashion. He opened accounts all over the tri-state area. HANRATTY (shows us) Seems someone put out an F. Mister Taylor.) HANRATTY He didn’t know his bad checks were on my desk. Mister Hanratty. and I think it might be yours— HANRATTY It's not. We can’t cash this. and dropped rubber in just about every hotel. we’re going to be seeing him of him in just a bit but right now there’s a much more exciting turn of events. HANRATTY (Hanratty comes downstage to us. BANK TELLER I'm sorry. we have new restrictions on cashing checks. the Bank Teller at a counter. we can hold on to this— (Frank Junior drops the necklace in his valise. He was the Johnny Appleseed of fraud. But Hanratty stays and keeps speaking to us. and dry cleaners from here to Hoboken.) DIANE. FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty. (Frank Junior is before DIANE.I. He didn’t know his mother had filed a missing-persons report.) . Mister Taylor. BANK TELLER I'm sorry. Hanratty enters from Stage Right) HANRATTY I know. Diane. He didn’t know that his clock was ticking. then leaves him to join a BANK TELLER. FRANK JUNIOR Ladies and Gentlemen! It’s our very special guest star. slides the check off the counter. I found this on the sidewalk out front. grocery store. is the fact that in just a few short months this guy had soaked just about every branch of Chase Manhattan in the five boroughs and in northern New Jersey. (He escorts Hanratty toward the wings. backs away. BANK TELLER If you'd like to leave us your home phone number. bulletin.
. he’s still stuck at his desk. but I'm late.) LIVE IN LIVING COLOR (Reprise) FRANK JUNIOR AND THOUGH I’M LIVE IN LIVING COLOR AT THE FBI THE SHOW’S IN BLACK AND WHITE. Mister Hanratty and his team were trying to find my trail.) HANRATTY He’s going to try six more banks—same story. With my stockbroker. (comes down to talk to us) Trying to put it all together. We were on him. but Hanratty stops him. (MUSIC. onto Hanratty and into the open elevator traps. I bought a little printing press and I made my own. thank you. Right now. and a load of black and white checks rain down from the flies. (He backs away. For an appointment. He and I don’t even meet face to face for months yet.) FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty’s jumping ahead. FRANK JUNIOR Then why didn’t he catch me? HANRATTY Only a matter of time. While I was producing more rubber than a tire factory. when my first fifty checks ran out. Frank Junior sings. See. (He drops a colorful check.23 FRANK JUNIOR You know. (Hanratty freezes.
even if it means we drop dead at our desks and our fossilized bones are discovered in some archeological dig in the twenty-first century. Hanratty.I. go home for lunch one of these days. BRANTON Shouldn’t you be in another department? Like maybe daycare? DOLLAR I was auditing background checks for the Library of Congress and I asked for a transfer. And. I know that this job is not as exciting as fieldwork. Anything loud or fast.24 Scene 6: F.B. or counter-intelligence— .) DOLLAR He got you there. COD C’mon Hanratty it’s 4:45. Dollar. HANRATTY Low blow. and DOLLAR are drowning in checks and we hear:) COD Dollar! What have you done! BRANTON Yeah. and you stack them ten high. Some of us still have wives. Now listen. and see how that works out for you. Agents BRANTON. BRANTON Come on. unannounced. HANRATTY Listen — We do the job because it's the job and as long as I'm Interim Second Assistant Special Agent in Charge of the Bank Fraud and Forgery Subdivision. BRANTON That’s easy for you to say. Come on. Thanksgiving or no Thanksgiving. It’s Thanksgiving. Office The elevators begin to lift the FBI office into view. We always give the rookies a hard time. the next time we tell you to move file boxes. I like guns. so we are going to sort it out. Agent Branton. North Atlantic region — thank you very much — we will do the job until it’s done. (The men laugh. And cars. Dollar. by the way. could you make sure you’re under them when they fall? DOLLAR Whoops! HANRATTY Leave the kid alone. Hanratty. HANRATTY (shudders) How about Shelley Winters? She’s loud and fast. I requested something where I could use my gun. Don’t you remember how they razzed you? HANRATTY Yes. COD. basically. we have three or four major-league paperhangers somewhere in this mess. and it’s an experience I see no reason to repeat.
Oh yeah.) BRANTON. now this is interesting (more music under). (MUSIC. (He points at Cod. Look here. Magnetic Ink Character Recognition. he does. BRANTON I know you think so. And that means there must be thousands more checks just like this out there – more bum checks than a Prague prison! (A second load of checks drops. But he does. The one you're after.) And no Hanukah either. the day you slap those cuffs on him and watch them haul him away (music under) —oh. DOLLAR Micker? Micker Mouse? COD Who the hell is Micker Mouse? HANRATTY MICR! MICR! M-I-C-R. (looks at the other check) And Frank Williams too. and that’s the sad thing.25 COD Or a long. and you will. He knows. If you change a zero-two to a one-two. slow death. COD + DOLLAR Nooooo! HANRATTY And that means no Christmas for you MICR mouse. a check that was cashed in New York gets rerouted all the way to San Francisco and it’s weeks before the bank that cashed it knows they’re bad. They mean that he can stay in one place and write bad checks for weeks and weeks. DOLLAR You mean those numbers at the bottom the check actually mean something? HANRATTY They mean that Frank Taylor and Frank Williams and William Franklin are the same person. He’s changing the MICR numbers on the checks. HANRATTY —and maybe nobody knows you're down here. This is very. very interesting. And the day you catch him. Jiminy Christmas. HANRATTY Look at these two. Frank Junior returns and the men sweep the checks onto the lifts as we TRANSITION TO:) . Frank Taylor must've got his hands on a MICR encoder.
..) FRANK JUNIOR Oh. nothing more..?" (A parade of STEWARDESSES. and the shelf life was getting shorter. as Frank watches. Now I was really good . (MUSIC.) STEWARDESS #2 (MINDY) Excuse me. A SECOND STEWARDESS comes through the door. there . . But then one day. and destiny came walking out those revolving doors. I'd always wanted to be good at something. My clock was ticking.. isn't it? STEWARDESS #2 (MINDY) We all have evening flights. And Frank Junior ) FRANK JUNIOR Well. . all in the same Pan Am outfit. (She continues past him. that should keep Mister Hanratty busy for a while. I was a crook. I—excuse me—whoops!—hello. FRANK JUNIOR Kinda late to be checking out. (He takes her measure. and in the Skies (As soon as the deck is clear. (to us) Are you seeing this? (STEWARDESS #3 bumps him on her way by .) STEWARDESS #1 (CINDY) That’s quite all right.26 Scene 7: Outside the Tudor Hotel. I went walking past the Tudor Hotel on 42nd Street. Manhattan. He almost collides with a beautiful young Pan Am STEWARDESS emerging. at passing bad checks.) STEWARDESS #3 (LINDY) Oh! Excuse me. travel bags in hand. agape.) FRANK JUNIOR Oh!! Excuse me. march in through the door. But unfortunately he was right. satchels in hand.. the elevators begin to sink out of sight.. FRANK JUNIOR "We all.. He bobs and weaves as they move through.
(She pulls a business card from her bust. then the third time's the charm:) Here it is.27 FRANK JUNIOR No .. then at her. VP of personnel.. Cindy. Shellie. She pulls another. excuse me. I've been training as a pilot. STINGER.) FRANK JUNIOR (to us. Tell him Cindy sent you. He smiles at us. "The Jet Set.. Kelly. and Jane. our host:) Ladies and gentlemen. Nellie. FRANK JUNIOR Thank you. Miss Cindy.) MINDY JUST LEFT WISCONSIN WHERE THERE'S CHEESE ENOUGH TO START THIS RAT RACE CINDY BUT THANKS TO THE BROTHERS WRIGHT CINDY + MINDY WE DON'T KNOW WHERE WE'LL SLEEP TONIGHT . Is Pan Am hiring? STEWARDESS #1 (CINDY) Aren't you sweet. (Frank Junior steps downstage: our host." SONG: THE JET SET CINDY WOKE UP IN BROOKLYN WITH A FROWN UPON MY FACE (One by one. Karrie. I like to call them . telling Frank Junior how it is. Um. (Frank Junior blinks. Here.) Excuse me. It's the wrong one. the other Stewardesses join her.. Sherrie. Tell me—is flying everything it's cracked up to be? STEWARDESS #1 (CINDY) The only thing better than flying—is what happens on the ground. miss .. Talk to Jerry Taylor. Mindy.. Who are you all waiting for? THE STEWARDESSES The pilots. Lindy. Terri.
sir! Can I get a picture? PAN EXEC Oh. For instance.) PAN AM EXECUTIVE So you're the kid writing the article for the school paper? FRANK JUNIOR (turns to him. jumpin' puddles for the weak and weary?" PAN AM EXECUTIVE Means they've been flying the same plane. "I've been on the same equipment all week. what does it mean when one pilot says to another pilot. FRANK JUNIOR Thank you for your time. Frank Black from Monroe High School. Another Stewardess opens her satchel. FRANK JUNIOR And what about those I. and he takes out a camera and a notebook. . like this one here from Pan Am. mostly commuters. A PAN AM EXECUTIVE enters. TIME TO PLAY I'LL PUT DOWN ROOTS SOME OTHER DAY SHELLIE NO NEED TO BE A LONELY JOE STEWARDESSES THE JET-SET IS THE SHELLIE ONLY WAY TO GO (One Stewardess pulls a pair of horn-rimmed glasses from her satchel and puts them on Frank Junior. now a high school kid) Yes sir. I'M A BIRD IN THE SKIES MINDY AND TOMORROW WHEN I RISE LINDY I'LL WAKE UP IN PARIS WITH A NEW LOVE IN MY HEART JANE OR MAYBE GERMANY WITH THAT BRAND NEW PET I MET IN STUTTGART KELLIE SKIES THE LIMIT. badges that I've seen pilots wear? PAN AM EXEC Every pilot has to have it with him at all times. It's an airline personnel badge. I want to know everything there is to know about being a Pan Am pilot.28 CINDY YEAH. sure. short flights.D.
) FRANK JUNIOR Got it! (The Executive goes and the Stewardesses are back.) FRANK JUNIOR My Pan Am pilot's badge! How cool is that? A TAILOR enters. India ink. Frank holds up a blank piece of paper. TAILOR Awfully young to be a pilot.29 (Frank Junior points the camera right at his ID badge. I'm just a co-pilot. TAILOR Why so nervous? FRANK JUNIOR How would you feel if you lost your uniform your first week on the job? . NEAR OR FAR FEELS TWICE AS GOOD AS WHERE YOU ARE WHEN YOU’RE SICK OF THE STATUS QUO THE JET-SET IS THE ONLY WAY TO GO … (Frank Junior holds up his completed badge.) STEWARDESSES (CONT'D) AND … WAKE UP IN TEXAS WHERE THEY TREAT THEIR WOMEN RIGHT AND THEN TRY HOLLYWOOD WHERE THE STARS GET LIT OUT IN BROAD DAYLIGHT ANY CITY. and goes to work making a Pan Am Badge. aren't ya? FRANK JUNIOR I get that a lot. scissors. measuring tape and note pad in hand. FLASH.) STEWARDESSES WOULD’JA LIKE NEW MUSIC AND MYSTERY EACH AND EVERYDAY LOSE THE SAME OLD MUSIC AND HIST’RY MAKE A NEW FRIEND THEN FLY AWAY (One Stewardess brings Frank Junior an in-flight cart with familiar sponsor products: Penknife. glue.
Frank tries to read it upside down.(?) Four (?) Five.) . One. FRANK JUNIOR Can I write you a check? TAILOR No—no checks. (He pulls out a form and begins to fill it out.) ALL PILOTS WOULD’JA LIKE A SLEIGH RIDE.(?) S— (But before he gets the next number out. I hear you. and Frank Junior pulls it back. JUST STAY HOME BUT. Three. finished. his uniform at last perfect. A HAYRIDE? THEN KIDDO. GREEK OR JAPANESE ALL STEWARDESSES A STEWARDESS IS TRAINED TO PLEASE ALL SO IF YOU’VE GOT WHAT IT TAKES BELOW WELL THEN FLY THIS BIRD LIKE CUPID’S BOW CAUSE THE JET SET'S JUST A HOLIDAY YEAH THE JET SET GOES UP. cap and aviators on. to count spaces for numbers:) FRANK JUNIOR Sure. they'll take it out of your next paycheck. Six. SO FLY! (Frank Junior joins them. It's.30 TAILOR Ah. UP AND AWAY .. That'll be one forty-three ninety-seven... (Frank Junior and the Tailor go as the PILOTS enter with Stewardesses. the Tailor nods. IF YOU WANT JET-SET THEN GET SET TO LEAVE BEHIND KANSAS THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE ROME ALL STEWARDESSES WAKE UP IN RIO HAVE YOUR COFFEE IN BRAZIL EVERYONE WHEN REAL LIFE GETS YOU DOWN TAKE A FAR-OUT.) TAILOR Great! I'll bill Pan Am. ONE-WAY TRIP TO SPLITZVILLE ALL PILOTS SWEDISH. Just need your employee number.. FRANK JUNIOR That’s why Pan Am will always be around. Four . no cash. A stunning sight.
Frank comes down center to take the elevator down. The doors open and off steps Cheryl Ann – getting off the elevator of the St. Regis Hotel.31 FRANK JUNIOR RIGHT DOWN TO IT'LY FOR LA BELLA FEMINA JUMP IN A FOUNTAIN STEWARDESSES WOO! ALL FOR A BIG DOSE OF LA DOLCE VITA FRANK JUNIOR IF YOUR TASTES RUN MORE RISQUÉ TWO STEWARDESSES WELL THEN. WE KNOW A JOINT IN OLD BOMBAY ALL SO HANG ON TIGHT LET’S LOOP DE LOOP IT’S TIME TO FLY THIS CHICKEN COOP SO PACK UP YOUR SUITCASE CHECK YOUR WORRIES AT THE GATE COME OUT AND PLAY BOY CRUISE THE WORLD TO FIND YOUR PERFECT PLAYMATE FRANK JUNIOR THINGS LOOK BETTER FROM ABOVE SO BUCKLE UP. NEXT STOP IS LOVE ALL FROM TIMBUKTU TO TOKYO FROM MOZAMBIQUE TO MEXICO THE JET SET IS THE ONLY WAY TO GO FRANK JUNIOR BABBADA BOP BOOP BAH BADOOBA DOO-OH! SONG ENDS. . (MUSIC begins again. As the others exit.
CHERYL ANN Frank. Um. Could I get your autograph? CHERYL ANN Do you have a pen .. FRANK JUNIOR Sure — you're that model! Cheryl Ann—something—in the Plaza.. in your room? FRANK JUNIOR I think I do.) Five hundred? (She gets on the elevator) A thousand dollars? (She stops the elevator doors from closing) CHERYL ANN One thousand dollars. Captain. she starts removing her outer garments. Manhattan CHERYL ANN Nice uniform. . What's a night worth? With me? FRANK JUNIOR I — gosh.32 Scene 8: The St. FRANK JUNIOR Don’t I know you from somewhere? CHERYL ANN Maybe. I was on the cover of Seventeen . I really don't know. Three hundred? (She closes her coat and heads back to the elevator.. FRANK JUNIOR Call me Frank. Regis Hotel. Cheryl.. Are you going to make me an offer? FRANK JUNIOR I'm sorry — an offer for what? CHERYL ANN A man like you can buy anything he wants.) CHERYL ANN So. a few years ago. (As they head up the stairs.
(MUSIC.. CHERYL ANN (inspecting it) Endorse it over to me. CHERYL ANN You give me the check .. She hands him the check and the cash as they disappear together down the elevator lift) .m. CHERYL ANN You think this hotel is going to cash a thousand dollar check at three a.? FRANK JUNIOR (pulls one out) They've done it for me before. (pulling cash from her bust) . and I'll give you four hundred dollars... It's a cashier's check.33 FRANK JUNIOR I have to cash a check. FRANK JUNIOR It's for fourteen hundred. FRANK JUNIOR Even better.
it's very disappointing. Barcelona. if shooting people is anything like target practice. Hanratty.k. Frank Taylor a. Dollar! This job is not about shooting at people. FBI Training Ground. It’s not about punching the clock waiting for retirement. He’s out there somewhere. Years I tell you. No. COD He’s gone global. He's Old School. Believe it. Sixtyish. Hanratty and the men enter. HANRATTY Judas Priest. . Or the wine. HANRATTY We’re getting closer to this guy and you need to bone up on some of the skills you’ve let slide sitting in that basement sipping peppermint schnapps out of your coffee cup. Hanratty. No. He doesn’t even know you exist. salt-and-pepper. This job is about just one guy. tall. COD Jesus. (Bullets WHIZ and DING and they duck for cover. BRANTON But we can't fix a location on him. He's been honing his craft for years. he is toying with me. Quantico. HANRATTY He will. The next he's in Stuttgart.k. He's not playing the game. Or the women. Rome.a. Hanratty. Frank Williams a. But they always make a mistake. why the hell'd you drag us out to Quantico? This guy’s a pen and ink man. He's a true talent.) BRANTON What the hell! DOLLAR (entering) You know. COD C’mon. He is taunting me. One day he's in Dallas. boys. a virtuoso. I didn't feel a thing. BRANTON It’s just forgery. There’s no way the Bureau’s gonna give us travel money for Liechtenwhatsit. And if our UnSub thinks he can hide there he’s sorely mistaken. A paperhanger. You want to arrest him or hire him? HANRATTY I see him in my sleep. Where the hell is Liechtenstein? HANRATTY The principality of Liechtenstein is a landlocked alpine country in Western Europe bordered by Switzerland to the west and south and Austria to the east. Hanratty takes aim and fires. It's the overconfidence. He probably doesn’t even carry a gun.34 Scene 9: A Firing Range. He will.a. William Franklin. HANRATTY This guy's just a forger like Mickey Mantle is just a hitter. or sneaking off for quickies with the secretaries on three. VA (As Frank Junior leaves with Cheryl Ann. ) BRANTON Hanratty. The last bad checks came from Liechtenstein. He's making the rules.
(Frank Junior appears ..35 BRANTON Okay. I NEVER SNUCK A DRINK I NEVER STOLE A PACK OF "KOOLS" 'CAUSE THE GAME AIN'T WORTH WINNING IF YOU'RE BREAKING ALL THE RULES ..) FRANK JUNIOR Ladies and gentlemen .. HANRATTY I will not stay cool. (.. I only wanted to play cops. BRANTON Hanratty. and disappears. okay. I have never been cool and I don’t intend to start now. THERE IS NO MIDDLE GROUND THOUGH HOODLUMS TRY TO BLUR THE LINE AND TWIST THE TRUTH AROUND THEN THEY CALL THEMSELVES A WINNER BUT THEY'RE SELF-DECEIVING FOOLS 'CAUSE THE GAME AIN'T WORTH WINNING IF YOU'RE BREAKING ALL THE RULES THE LAW IS LAYED UPON US WHEN AS KIDS WE FIRST ASK "WHY?" OUR PARENTS SET THE RULES WHEN "'CAUSE I SAID SO." THEY REPLY AND THOUGH I THOUGHT I HATED THEM AND SCREAMED WITH ALL MY MIGHT THE NEXT TIME THAT I HAD A CHOICE GEE WHIZ! I DID WHAT'S RIGHT NO. Other kids wanted to play cops and robbers.. Carl Hanratty. were you always like this? HANRATTY Long as I can remember..) I think I was born this way. Stay cool. (MUSIC.) SONG: BREAKING ALL THE RULES HANRATTY IT STARTS VERY EARLY ONCE THE BABY TOYS ARE GONE A KID ON THE PLAYGROUND HAS TO CHOOSE WHAT SIDE HE'S ON IT'S THE BULLIES OR THE GOOD GUYS BOY.
SINAI CRIED AND BEGGED ON THEIR BEHALF OH LORD! HE ALMOST DROPPED THOSE TABLETS WHEN HE SAW THAT GOLDEN CALF WHAT? NOW WE TEACH THE TEN COMMANDMENTS EVERY SUNDAY IN OUR SCHOOLS ‘CAUSE THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING IF YOU’RE BREAKING ALL THE RULES I GUESS THE CONSTITUTION. WILD WEST DON’T BREAK THE RULES GOD’S KEEPING SCORE AND YOU DON’T WANNA FAIL THAT TEST DON’T BREAK THE RULES YOU THUMB YOUR NOSE RIGHT AT THE LIFE FOR WHICH I STRIVE BUT THOSE RULES. MEN DON’T BREAK THE RULES THEY THINK THEY SEE THEMSELVES DON’TCHA KNOW THEY’RE NOT PAYING BACK POW!!! YOU CAN’T GIVE AWAY THOSE JEWELS DON’T BREAK THE RULES . WILD WEST DON’T BREAK THE RULES GOD’S KEEPING SCORE AND YOU DON’T WANNA FAIL THAT TEST AND BABY … I GUESS … EVERY SUNDAY IN OUR SCHOOLS THOSE RULES. TO SOME IS TOO COMPLEX THEY THINK OUR FOUNDING FATHERS FOUGHT SO THEY COULD FORGE SOME CHECKS THEY SEE THEMSELVES AS ROBIN HOOD STEALING FROM THE RICH NOT PAYING BACK THE THINGS THEY TAKE WELL PAYBACK IS A BITCH ‘CAUSE THE WORLD AIN’T SHERWOOD FOREST YOU CAN’T GIVE AWAY THOSE JEWELS AND THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING IF YOU’RE BREAKING ALL THE RULES OR ELSE WE’RE LIVING IN THE WILD. BOYS.36 HANRATTY OR ELSE WE’RE LIVING IN THE WILD. THOSE LAWS KEEP US ALIVE. THOSE LAWS KEEP US ALIVE. IT STARTED BACK WITH MOSES WHEN HE LED AROUND THE JEWS THE JEWS AND CLIMBED WAY UP THAT MOUNTAIN TO PICK UP GOD’S DAILY NEWS TELL ME THE NEWS HE SCHLEPPED UP OLD MT.
BABY THOSE RULES THOSE LAWS THE WORLD WOULD BE IN TOTAL CHAOS BOP! ‘CAUSE WITHOUT THEM WE’RE JUST MULES THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING DON’T BREAK THE RULES BUT THOSE RULES. SELL SOME POT IT’S ALL THE SAME TO ME YOU’RE EITHER GUILTY OR YOU’RE NOT DOO-WOP. IT’S LAWS THAT KEEP US HUMAN ‘CAUSE WITHOUT THEM WE’RE JUST MULES AND THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING I SAY THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING OH OH OH THE GAME AIN’T WORTH WINNING IF YOU’RE BREAKING ALL THE RULES OR ELSE WE’RE LIVING IN THE WILD. DOO-WOP! . DOO-WOP. GO SNEAK DOO-WOP. THOSE LAWS KEEP US ALIVE! WHEN YOU STEAL SOMEBODY’S MONEY SCREW HIS DAUGHTER OR HIS WIFE YOU DON’T THINK OF REPERCUSSIONS AS YOU TAP DANCE THROUGH YOUR LIFE THOUGH YOU SMILE LIKE YOU’RE A HERO YOU’RE AN OUTLAW BUT THE ODDS ARE IN MY FAVOR. WOW! IF WE ALL DID WHAT WE WANTED EVERY TIME WE FELT THE URGE THE WORLD WOULD BE IN TOTAL CHAOS IT’S ALREADY ON THE VERGE ‘CAUSE. MAN AND ONE DAY I’LL CATCH YOU SO. WILD WEST DON’T BREAK THE RULES GOD’S KEEPING SCORE AND YOU DON’T WANNA FAIL THAT TEST DON’T BREAK THE RULES YOU THUMB YOUR NOSE AT THE LIFE FOR WHICH I STRIVE BUT THOSE RULES THOSE LAWS THOSE LAWS THOSE RULES THOSE LAWS THOSE LAWS. THOSE LAWS KEEP US ALIVE! US ALIVE! OOH-OOH WOP OOH-OOH BOP! OOH-OOH YOU’RE AN OUTLAW THROUGH AND THROUGH AND ONE DAY I’LL CATCH YOU SO.37 DON’T BREAK THE RULES YOU THUMB YOUR NOSE RIGHT AT THE LIFE FOR WHICH I STRIVE BUT THOSE RULES. GO SNEAK INTO A MOVIE RUN A RED LIGHT.
scans it.. (Hanratty grabs and scans it. (The FBI Agents scatter. Who the hell taught you to shoot? DOLLAR My daddy taught me how to turn a mister into a missus at a hundred yards... with a flyer in hand. posing as an airline pilot . but I’ve got the jump seat open. ma’am.) COD Hanratty. and Cod follows him in. Crime doesn’t take a holiday. kid. but look at this field bulletin. Been on the same equipment all week. FRANK JUNIOR Skywayman? (The Stewardess hands him a newspaper. opened and folded to an article. Frank Junior enters with his suitcase..) HANRATTY + FRANK JUNIOR (overlapping. . not in unison) The Skywayman.. BRANTON Yeah . (Hanratty enters. I'm gonna regret this. back to work. A lovely STEWARDESS enters with a clipboard. STEWARDESS First class is full.38 KEEP US ALIVE! KEEP US ALIVE! BOP! SONG ENDS. flying all over the world . jumpin’ puddles for the weak and weary.) BRANTON You’re dangerous.. HANRATTY All right.. First Officer. I don’t really want to know about that. Come on aboard. Frank Jr. Branton and Dollar enter opposite.. FRANK JUNIOR Thanks! STEWARDESS Be sure to watch out for that Skywayman. Are you my deadhead today? FRANK JUNIOR Yes. All the airlines are after him .) STEWARDESS Good morning.
he drops rubber everywhere he goes. motel.39 STEWARDESS They don't know how he does it. HANRATTY Maybe .) .. We just became front page news. HANRATTY Maybe he's a master con artist. I'll have to look out for him. boys. Cod. and commissary on the Eastern seaboard. Hanratty and the boys exit and we go right to the Latin Quarter. FRANK JUNIOR Like a superhero. We're checking every airport hotel.. She follows. COD Maybe he forged some credentials? FRANK JUNIOR The Skywayman. cafe. All right. FRANK JUNIOR Crazy world we live in. (Frank Junior gives the paper back to the Hotel Clerk and exits. (MUSIC.) HANRATTY Nice work.
they hit you when you're down. Sooner or later. Where're you flying that plane tonight? FRANK JUNIOR Well. FRANK JUNIOR I heard about it in Paris. they'll forget about me. Frank. I don't really fly. Called their bluff. FROM PAREE A MAN CAN MAKE PASSES OR USE X RAY GLASSES BUT! PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT HE’LL SEE! SONG ENDS. FRANK SENIOR Where? FRANK JUNIOR Los Angeles. FRANK SENIOR My son the birdman. FRANK SENIOR Look at us. I thought it might be just the place to take you when I got back to the States.. I went by the store today. Frank Junior.. waits at their table. The goddamn government knows that. New York City (A floor show is just finishing. FRANK SENIOR Hollywood. On top of the world.) FRANK SENIOR This place . It's all a matter of timing.40 Scene 10: The Latin Quarter. with the girls dressed in pinstripes. in uniform. FRANK JUNIOR Yeah. I'm sort of just a copilot.) SONG: THE PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT THEY SEE (REPRISE) SHOWGIRLS UNDERNEATH IS MY UNIFORM ALL IN SILK. FRANK JUNIOR Dad. Frankie. . They have a guy to give towels to the guy who gives you towels. I wasn't going to let them take it from me. FRANK SENIOR I had to close the store for a while. So I just shut the doors myself. something else. (Frank Senior makes his way through the beautiful girls—who give him a little love.
(Back to Frank Junior.41 (Frank Junior slides a thick envelope across the table. Frank Sr. She's a formidable woman.) FRANK SENIOR What's this? FRANK JUNIOR Let's open up the store. FRANK JUNIOR But maybe if Mom saw — FRANK SENIOR Do I look like I need your help? (A moment. FRANK JUNIOR She could be again. FRANK JUNIOR I'm fine. I can have breakfast in Rome. believe me. But I won't let her go without a fight. lunch in Miami. Because I learned from the best. There's plenty more where this came from. everything's different now. MUSIC. And six weeks later.) Double Bourbon. Dad. FRANK SENIOR I don't know. You got your own worries. FRANK JUNIOR Listen.. watching her dance. I can snap my fingers . Get things back the way they were. FRANK SENIOR That's fine. I can help out now. I got this great job. and dinner in San Francisco. always has been. I didn't speak a word of French. (He raises his hand. Take good care of yourself. FRANK SENIOR And here I thought you were just a copilot. to bartender. FRANK SENIOR Keep it. Frankie. .. I make lots of money. Frankie. Dad. She's stubborn.) … and strike up an orchestra. FRANK JUNIOR I can be anything you need me to be. snaps his fingers twice. she was my wife. Pay off the Feds. FRANK JUNIOR If she saw you had the store back — FRANK SENIOR Two hundred soldiers in that tiny social hall.) Don't worry about your mom and me.
FRANK JUNIOR This is a duet. HE WALKED RIGHT OUT AND BUTTERED HIS TOAST NOW HE’S ON TOP FOR GOODNESS SAKES YEAH. THERE WAS A COCKROACH IN BRAZIL GOT DRUNK AT THE LOCAL COFFEE MILL HE THOUGHT HIS TIME WAS UP UNTIL HE MADE COFFEE OUTTA BEANS WHEN HE CAME TO HE HEARD SUCH A SOUND MUCH TO HIS SHOCK WHEN HE LOOKED AROUND HE HAD BEEN SCOOPED AND WAS ABOUT TO BE GROUND SO.. HE MADE COFFEE OUT OF BEANS . DEDUCED HIS PLIGHT SAID “THIS IS NO WAY TO SPEND A SATURDAY NIGHT!” BUT HE HAD THE STYLE TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT SO HE MADE BUTTER OUTTA CREAM HE KICKED HIS LEGS UP HE TOSSED AND TURNED SO NOT TO END UP A GHOST HE DID THE HOKEY-POKEY TILL THE CREAM WAS CHURNED THEN BABY. HE’S THE BIG CHEESE UP AT “LAND O’ LAKES” HE’S LIVING PROOF THAT POP ALL IT TAKES IS A SCHEME SO IF YOU LAND IN THE GUTTER JUST MAKE BUTTER OUT OF CREAM FRANK JUNIOR Your turn. It’s not a solo act. Dad. FRANK SENIOR Well. It’s Frank and Dean. you know . there is one you haven’t told you. TAKE A SEAT TWO LITTLE MICE OF GREAT RENOWN FELL IN SOME MILK AND ONE PROCEEDED TO DROWN THE OTHER ONE’S STILL THE TOAST OF THE TOWN CAUSE HE MADE BUTTER OUTTA CREAM HE LOOKED AROUND.. FRANK SENIOR Nah—you’re doing great.42 SONG: BUTTER OUTTA CREAM FRANK JUNIOR REMEMBER THAT STORY I LEARNED AT YOUR FEET WELL NOW IT’S MY TURN. FRANK JUNIOR Really? FRANK SENIOR.
THINGS BEGAN TO PERCOLATE HE HELD HIS BREATH AND SWAM TO THE TOP HE BORROWED BEANS FROM HIS MOM AND POP AND OPENED UP HIS OWN COFFEE SHOP OUT IN QUEENS! WHEN HIS LIGHTS WERE ALMOST OFF HE JUST MADE COFFEE OUTTA BEANS FRANK JUNIOR Let’s bring this one home. SON I’LL MAKE BUTTER OUT OF CREAM! SONG ENDS . Son! BOTH SO THINK OF THOSE TWO WHEN LIFE’S THE PITS FRANK SENIOR “THE BUG” FRANK JUNIOR AND “THE MOUSE” BOTH AT THE END OF THEIR WITS THEY KNEW THE KEY TO LIFE IS THAT ITS WHA’ CHA DREAM SO IF LEMONS CLOG YOUR SINK UP DON’T JUST STAND AROUND AND SCREAM SPIKE SOME LEMONADE AND DRINK UP AND MAKE BUTTER OUT OF CREAM FRANK SENIOR JUST MAKE BUTTER OUT OF CREAM FRANK JUNIOR MAKE SOME BUTTER OUT OF CREAM FRANK SENIOR I HEAR WHAT YOU’RE SAYING. Dad! FRANK SENIOR All right.43 FRANK SENIOR (CONT’D) HE MARCHED TO THE SOUTH AND HE STOMPED TO THE NORTH HE HAD TO RACE AGAINST FATE HE DID THE CUCARACHA WHILE THOSE TEARS POURED FORTH THEN SEÑOR.
COD Oh my god! It's Hanratty! HANRATTY That's funny. people. BRANTON (holds up a Playboy) He has a breast fetish. HANRATTY Okay fellows. real name unknown. Cod. COD Looks like he left in a hurry. inspecting furniture. That's very funny. junk-food containers. Come on. COD (holds up a pizza box and a jar of peanut butter) He lives on junk food. go canvas the other guests. Cod. opening drawers. What's his next move? What goes on in the mind of an obsessive loner? BRANTON Why don't you tell us? (Hanratty glares at Branton. Room 135 (Hanratty. when you're dead. HANRATTY (sighs) Branton. (They begin to pore over the room. left us a goldmine. Branton appears at the door. Dollar.) HANRATTY A man's secrets are in his trash. He likes comic books. DOLLAR (holds up a comic book) The Flash.44 Scene 11: Idlewild Airport Motel.) Mister Taylor. crumpled papers. and dumps the contents on the floor. Cod. Impress me. get license plate numbers on every car in the lot. then at Hanratty. and Dollar inspect a much-used motel room: comic books. No forwarding.) BRANTON I'll take your word for it. . I'll process the room. then picks up the wastebasket.) BRANTON Hanaratty! The manager says he just checked out three hours ago. lifting cushions. (The other agents look at the trash. Was here for almost a week. I'll make a note to laugh later.
) PAULA Hello? Hello? Frankie is that you? JACK BARNES Is it him again? PAULA Frankie? JACK BARNES Paula. Lights fade on all three. I know you're in here somewhere. Mister Taylor. THEY'LL BE MY GUIDE TO THE MAN INSIDE THE CLUES (Lights on Frank Junior. Hanratty. Paula on the phone. Something doesn't jive here. You ever look at your own garbage? (The other agents go. PAULA Frankie.) All right. A RING.45 COD (as the men leave) Right.) HANRATTY A BOBBY PIN TWO BASEBALL CARDS SOME DAY-OLD CHINESE FOOD TWO TICKET STUBS THE RED SOX ALWAYS LOSE . no. picking through the garbage. Jack Barnes and Paula. give me the phone. Paula looks at Jack and shakes her head. in night clothes.) HANRATTY No. SONG: THE MAN INSIDE THE CLUES HANRATTY A COMIC BOOK A MISS JULY A MATCHBOOK FROM "THE FLAME" SOME CHEWING GUM A MISMATCHED PAIR OF SHOES A LETTER HOME THAT WASN’T MAILED A CHECK WITHOUT A NAME YEAH. in another hotel room. Elsewhere. no. The Flash? Peanut butter? Maybe he's got a kid? (Hanratty goes to work. Say. are you there? (Frank Junior abruptly hangs up. on the phone.
Hanratty moves to follow. (Lights fade on him. SHE NEVER COMES HE LOCKED THE DOOR BUT I DON'T NEED A KEY THERE'S ONLY GARBAGE ON THE FLOOR TO OTHERS. (reads) "As a Pan Am pilot. BRANTON The two of who? HANRATTY Who knows? But we know he's going to Los Angeles. I'll hold.) BRANTON Anything? HANRATTY (hands him a crumpled sheet of paper) Pan Am stationery. (The men exit.) HANRATTY DO NOT DISTURB IS ON THE DOOR THE MAID. but stops. DOLLAR Fantastic. I'd like to place an order. Maybe then --" (looks up) Unfinished. Have you been there? It's so beautiful—oh.) FRANK JUNIOR Hi Miss Room Service. The two of you should come out to Los Angeles with me. in yet another hotel room. he'd be transparent. If he were any more pale. BRANTON He could use the sun. my family flies for free. and returns to the room. And so are we.) . I know it's late—I just flew in from Ireland. yeah. sure. THEY'RE JUST CRUMBS THOSE CRUMBS LOOK LIKE A FIVE-COURSE MEAL TO ME (The other agents return. COD (as he and Branton turn to go) Now that's the best idea he's had yet.46 A VALENTINE THAT WASN’T SENT A SCENT TO SET THE MOOD WHEN I TAKE A RIDE WITH THE MAN INSIDE THE CLUES (Lights on Frank Junior.
. SONG ENDS.. THE HOUSE FOR SALE A MILLION NIGHTS ALONE TO WISH YOU HAD THE THINGS YOU THREW AWAY .47 HANRATTY I'VE LOOKED INTO SO MANY LIVES BUT NEVER AT MY OWN THE TRAIL I LEFT IS SUCH A DAMN CLICHÉ THE LONELY WIFE. LIKE A FRONT DOOR KEY A HOME COOKED MEAL THE HAPPY BRIDE AND GROOM THEN LIFE KICKS IN AND MAKES YOU PAY YOUR DUES AND THEN YOU FIND YOU'RE BY YOURSELF IN A SINGLE MOTEL ROOM THAT'S BEEN OCCUPIED . ... BY THE MAN INSIDE THE CLUES THE MAN INSIDE THE CLUES.
. They all cleared. (Hanratty proceeds.! Come out with your hands on your head. The rest exit. but the room is empty..B. I’ll buy you all a Good Humor bar.I.) Put it away.) Hanratty bursts in through the door .) If you’re good little boys. I was gonna deposit this one today. I’ll just take this check and be on my way.48 Scene 12: A Motel (Patio and Room) in Los Angeles. Hanratty slowly moves in. HANRATTY Relax.) HANRATTY F. Hanratty and men enter the patio with the MOTEL MANAGER. HANRATTY You mean he’s still here? MOTEL MANAGER (hesitates) Two-oh-one. From the bathroom. You guys back me up. I don’t want my customers harassed.I. too. cautiously. a FLUSH.B.. (Dollar complies. in other directions. listening to the radio. Junior laying on his bed in his room. I don’t want any trouble. Hanratty points his gun. glumly. Dollar takes the exit. HANRATTY I take the lead. We see Frank.. HANRATTY There won’t be any trouble. you’ll get one. MOTEL MANAGER You said there wouldn’t be any trouble. gun drawn.! (.) HANRATTY F. mister. (Hanratty draws his gun. to room 201. RADIO ANNOUNCEMENT KRLA … It’s currently a summer sixty five degrees here in Los Angeles … MOTEL MANAGER He wrote three checks. MOTEL MANAGER Good. . Dollar eagerly follows suit. looking over a bureau and table filled with the implements of forgery.
FRANK JUNIOR Here. FRANK JUNIOR Don’t worry about it. What’s your name. take my whole wallet. Would you mind taking that gun out of my face? It makes me nervous.B. FRANK JUNIOR You mind if I see some ID. HANRATTY What are you talking about? Keep your hands on your head. Carl? HANRATTY Sure. Your man just tried to climb out the window—my partner has him in custody downstairs. can you believe that? HANRATTY Don’t move. (tosses him wallet) You want my gun. then in a motel outside D. HANRATTY Let me see some identification. . drafting glue—he even makes little payroll envelopes addressed to himself from Pan Am. too? HANRATTY No. FRANK JUNIOR You think the F. are the only ones tracking this guy? He’s been dabbling in government checks. Put your hands on your head or I’ll shoot. HANRATTY Keep your hands where I can see them. The name's Allen. Barry Allen.I. Carl Hanratty. you’re late. We’ve been following a paper trail for months.49 (Frank Junior calmly emerges from the bathroom. I wasn’t expecting Secret Service on this.) FRANK JUNIOR He’s got about two hundred checks here—a gallon of India ink. anyway? HANRATTY Hanratty.) FRANK JUNIOR Guy's got a MICR encoder. black suit. buddy. United States Secret Service. (Frank Junior ignores the gun pointed at him and walks to the desk. FRANK JUNIOR Relax. no. We almost had him in New York. He's in a different. Nods at Hanratty. FRANK JUNIORS Can’t be too careful these days.C. near Dulles airport.
I don’t want anyway walking through my crime scene. some maid comes in here and starts making the bed. ten seconds later you would have been shot. HANRATTY That’s okay.) FRANK JUNIOR You know.50 HANRATTY Sure. HANRATTY You shouldn’t. FRANK JUNIOR (freezes. Frank Junior goes to a pitcher of water and pours himself a drink — and only we can see he's trembling. (They laugh.) Here. then stop laughing. HANRATTY Wait. turns) What? HANRATTY Your wallet. I trust you. Right here. HANRATTY Sure. I’m just a little … (Hanratty indicates nerves with his hands. Carl. sorry. I asked for that one! FRANK JUNIOR Just do me a favor. That was a joke. (Frank Junior picks up the MICR machine and heads for the door. Five minutes earlier and you would have landed yourself a pretty good collar. FRANK JUNIOR Hang on to it till I come back for the rest of the stuff. What does he look like? FRANK JUNIOR He's a handsome son of a bitch. let me ask you something. HANRATTY Okay. Sit tight a minute while I get some of this evidence downstairs. (Hanratty hands Frank Junior his business card) FRANK JUNIOR Tough luck. FRANK JUNIOR He is pretty damn old. HANRATTY Yeah? I had him figured for an older guy. I hate when that happens. .) Hey. He must be your age at least.
Carl. I love it. HANRATTY Not to me.. I love it. HANRATTY Oh. I guess I always wanted to see our nation's capital at Christmas.) Frank Taylor. DOLLAR Barry Allen? The Flash? HANRATTY What? DOLLAR Barry Allen is the alter ego of the Flash. The best time of the year. Frank Junior in a spot. (unable to contain himself) We got him! (He does a little victory dance. Frank Williams. I caught the one after that. He was right there! BRANTON What are you talking about? HANRATTY I let him convince me he was someone else.) HANRATTY Nice guy. Maintain eye contact. Frank Fuck! (The other three agents rush into the room. Thinks a minute. To us.51 FRANK JUNIOR You got me. wasn't it? Misdirection.. (He shrugs. Barry Allen from the Secret Service. And I .) COD Where is he? HANRATTY I had him. Frank Black. I love it.) FRANK JUNIOR That was close. (Frank Junior smiles at him and goes. Keep talking. (Lights. sir. it happens to the best of us. (He stops. .) Mister Hanratty and his men caught the next plane back to DC. Opens the wallet.) I love my job. I don't know why. Not to me. Jesus Christ. DOLLAR We all make mistakes. Fingers through the ID cards within.
) .) LINDY What’s the matter. BRANTON You want me to stay? HANRATTY No. DC SONG: CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR (PARTY VERSION) (The Stewardesses and Pilots party as Frank Junior looks on.) (The Stewardesses and Pilots dance off as we TRANISTION TO Hanratty's office. You've got kids. THE SOUND’S SUBLIME LISTEN TO THOSE CHURCH BELLS CHIME CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR (A few of the Stewardesses approach Frank Junior.) PARTYGOERS ANGELS SING. Hanratty's phone RINGS. Branton enters. honey? CINDY You look pooped! MINDY You need a good long layover. Hanratty (He goes.) HANRATTY This is Hanratty. FRANK JUNIOR I'm just going to get some air. come on. He's poring over documents with a loupe. both Washington. BRANTON Merry Christmas. (Frank Junior struggles to extricate himself and get offstage to get his letter jacket on. (Lights on Frank Junior at a pay phone. It's Christmas Eve. HANRATTY You're wrong. You're not going to redeem yourself with the boys upstairs by having a miserable holiday. Merry Christmas.52 Scene 13: A Hotel Room and the FBI Building. Go home. He picks up. (checks his watch without looking up) It's not Christmas Eve.) BRANTON Hanratty. It's Christmas.
FRANK JUNIOR Carl. The fact is. Merry Christmas. HANRATTY Who is this? FRANK JUNIOR I’ve been trying to track you down. you don't feel sorry for me. I did. Secret Service! What do you want? FRANK JUNIOR I want to apologize for what happened out in Los Angeles. HANRATTY Goddamn it. CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR FRANK JUNIOR SOME SUGAR PLUMS I HAVEN’T KISSED BUT MISTLETOE I MUST RESIST CAUSE I’M ON ST. Carl. I knew it was you. HANRATTY Then tell me something: how did you know I wouldn’t look in your wallet? FRANK JUNIOR I didn’t. HANRATTY Yeah? Screw you. SONG: MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR HANRATTY YEAH.53 FRANK JUNIOR Hello. I thought maybe you had a family? HANRATTY No. It’s Christmas. No family. FRANK JUNIOR I didn’t think I’d get you in. Maybe I didn’t pull the trigger but I knew. FRANK JUNIOR People only know what you tell them. you know that. don’t you? One way or another. HANRATTY Barry Allen. I’m sorry if I made a fool out of you. FRANK JUNIOR Me either. HANRATTY You’re gonna get caught. CARL’S MOST WANTED LIST . DON’TCHA LOVE THE YULETIDE FUN THERE’S JOY AND CHEER FOR EVERYONE I WAIT FOR SANTA WITH A GUN YES. Just like Vegas—the house always wins.
RIGHT BY THE PHONE FRANK JUNIOR & HANRATTY YES CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR HANRATTY Wait a minute.) HANRATTY. PAULA AND THERE’S A HOME WHERE YOU CAN’T GO AND THERE’S A LIFE THAT’S FULL OF LOVE YOU USED TO KNOW HANRATTY FOR ME IT’S TRUE FRANK SENIOR BUT KID. You didn’t call me to apologize. THEY’RE STILL YOURS TO HOLD IF YOU … FRANK SENIOR & PAULA & HANRATTY COME IN FROM THE COLD (Lights fade on Frank Senior and Paula. FRANK JUNIOR (half beat) I have to go.54 BOTH YES. separately. But stops. NOT YOU PAULA CAUSE YOUR FAMILY’S HERE FRANK SENIOR & PAULA YEAH. While Hanratty waits on the other end of the phone. IF TOMORROW SANTA’S FLOWN THE TREE IS DOWN AND YOU’RE ALONE I'M ALWAYS HERE. Wait a minute. Frank Junior covers the mouthpiece and turns to us. FRANK SR. HANRATTY Frank! Wait! (Frank Junior almost hangs up the phone. CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR (Lights on Frank Senior and Paula.) .) HANRATTY SO. did you? FRANK JUNIOR What do you mean? HANRATTY You’ve got no one else to talk to. FRANK JR.
and she was gonna change everything. FRANK. It was a lonely life. Everything.. FRANK JUNIOR Look out the window.) FRANK JUNIOR I'm still here.. END OF ACT ONE .. She stops and looks in our direction. (Lights on Brenda. HANRATTY Why? FRANK JUNIOR Just do it. I HOPE WE’LL MEET AGAIN LIKE WHEN YOU’RE SERVING EIGHT TO TEN BOTH YES. CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR (Hanratty sees Frank Junior in the pay phone booth. (He sings.) But right now . FRANK JUNIOR Sooner or later you'll get tired of chasing me.55 FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty was right.. SONG ENDS. (to us) He’s a kid. Frank Junior jumps off the stage and disappears up the aisle of the theatre. HANRATTY Sooner or later you'll get tired of running. HANRATTY No I won't.) I’LL CALL YOU SOON. dreaming. Tonight . BUT WHO KNOWS WHEN HANRATTY AND. HANRATTY Frank? (Brenda fades. Frank Junior turns back to the phone. But I was about to meet someone.) HANRATTY (to himself) He’s a kid.
(He pulls out a sheet of paper. full of professionals. so it was time for me to lay low for a while. But for right now.) ALL PARTY DOCTORS + NURSES Woo-hoo! FRANK JUNIOR Of course. Frank Junior. live off my savings. Riverbend would be written up in Playboy as the address for swinging singles. . The men follow. I just had to keep a low profile. (PARTY DOCTORS and NURSES enter at a stumbling run. it's simple. Let's go. drinks in hand. The last agent stays behind.. DC (As the Entre' Acte ends. Georgia. My career as a pilot was pretty much done.) We just go to each address and ask to see a family photo. and I'd wrung out every bank in the Northeast. No more cons. men.. no more high living. I think that's gonna take a while. the perfect place to keep things quiet. no more lies.. (The PARTY DOCTOR approaches Frank Junior as we CONTINUE TO:) . a real nice complex. huddled in a hallway. the long list trailing behind him.) FRANK JUNIOR Good luck with that! Poor Agent Hanratty. I pulled a list from the mainframe. Washington. which just keeps coming. a few years later. DOLLAR (voice over) How long will that take? HANRATTY As long as it takes.56 ACT TWO Scene 1: The FBI Building. whipping off his fedora and RayBans to reveal . I moved to the Riverbend Apartments in Atlanta. (Hanratty exits. He waves. So we check out every runaway teen and missing student in the tri-state area over the past three years. we see Hanratty and his three men..) HANRATTY Look. We know he's a kid. We find out who's responsible for the kid.
I .) PARTY DOCTOR So. (. You know. FRANK JUNIOR (works the problem) Oh.) What am I doing? I can't be a doctor. sexy legs first.) FRANK JUNIOR Oh.. The NURSES rise into view. Well. Frank Junior looks at them . surgery? Orthopedics? FRANK JUNIOR Pediatrics? PARTY DOCTOR Snot-nosed little kids? You can have 'em.) Ladies and gentlemen—nurses. Why do I do this every time?) PARTY DOCTOR What do you do. Listen. ) Oh yeah... I'll find out if there's anything open down at Atlanta General. what brings you to the Riverbend complex? I thought it was just us doctors and nurses here.57 Scene 2: The Riverbend Apartments and Atlanta General Hospital. (Frank Junior shoots us a despairing look. ARE YOU ON CALL? I'M NOT FEELING SO WELL AT ALL I KEPT THINKING ABOUT YA AS I COULD NOT SLEEP A WINK LAST NIGHT NURSE I TOSSED AND TURNED THE WHOLE NIGHT LONG KEPT FEELING LIKE SOMETHING'S WRONG I NEED A CHECKUP TO MAKE EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT . thank you. I'm a doctor. (The NURSES seduce Frank Junior into the medical profession—dressing him as a doctor in the process. then back to us. Why do I do this every time? (MUSIC. no... Frank. Atlanta (The PARTY DOCTOR throws an arm around him.) SONG: DOCTOR'S ORDERS NURSE HEY DOCTOR. Be great to have you there! (He goes.. (Frank Junior turns to us.
What do you recommend.) BEN CASEY I think what we have here is advanced third-degree encephelomarginalia. NURSE MADE THIS APPOINTMENT NURSE AND I CLEARED YOUR AFTERNOON ALL NURSES YES. Doctor Casey? BEN CASEY Let's not jump to any conclusions.. Ben Casey always made it look easy on television.) FRANK JUNIOR How am I going to get through this? Medicine? But. .C. TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS! ALL NURSES OOH OOH .. I NEVER FELT SO BAD I NEED SOMETHING I NEVER HAD AND I'M READY .... Do you concur.L. ALL NURSES LET ME TELL YA THAT NURSE MAYBE I NEVER LISTENED GOOD I NEVER DID THE THINGS I SHOULD BUT I'M READY TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS! NURSE BABY. I concur. the last one handing him a remote. We'll find out what's ailing you. NURSE NEED ME A LITTLE "T.. We'll run every test we can. Frank Junior watches as Ben Casey makes a diagnosis. son. doctor? OTHER DOCTOR Yes... (He snaps his fingers and a Ben Casey episode appears." THREE NURSES AND I GOTTA GET SOME SOON . standing over a patient with another doctor. (The Nurses leave him. I ..58 ALL NURSES SO I . now that I think of it..
FRANK JUNIOR (to us) Act Two is brought to you by parchment paper. he's the head of Atlanta General. IT'S AN EMERGENCY AND I'M READY TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS NURSE BABY I NEED THE ANTIDOTE YOU'RE HIDING UNDER THAT WHITE LAB COAT YES I'M READY TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS NURSES OOH OOH . Doctor Connors. and the nurses come back. calligraphy.. And you actually brought in your diploma. READY DOCTOR'S ORDERS NURSES OOH OOH . READY DOCTOR'S ORDERS . and you'd primarily be supervising residents and interns. Frank Junior stops laughing and gives us a panicked look. the only thing open is overnight ER supervisor. Slightly doddering. But there's the little matter of a med school degree — (He's joined by DOCTOR WANAMAKER. DOCTOR WANAMAKER At the moment..) No.. DOCTOR WANAMAKER And we also have your recommendation from Death Valley Children's Hospital. Beneath a doctor of your qualifications.. (He goes. so you wouldn't get much real patient contact— FRANK JUNIOR I'll take it. Frank Junior laughs. and press-on-letters. speaks to us) That’s gonna come in handy.) NURSE MAYBE I NEED YOUR REMEDY DOC. DOCTOR WANAMAKER You're just the perfect candidate.59 FRANK JUNIOR (clicks it off..) DOCTOR WANAMAKER Harvard University! Very impressive. (Wanamaker laughs. Doctor . the sight of blood makes me vomit. FRANK JUNIOR I should mention. DOCTOR WANAMAKER All right then. seriously. Welcome aboard. I could pick up a few books at the Emory bookstore. Hanratty? FRANK JUNIOR He’s my mentor.. He's inspecting a parchment document.
I.. concur! I concur! Just go! Go! BRENDA You heard him! Go! Go! (She ushers them out as Frank Junior recovers. lifts sheet) He’s got a bone sticking out of his leg. (Two interns enter. and pursues her..) NURSES OOH-OOH-OOH OOH-OOH-OOH AH-AH . she was real. And it didn’t hurt that she was the best nurse there..60 (BRENDA pushes her way through the passel of sexy nurses) BRENDA Doctor Conners! Doctor Conners! (Frank Junior turns and sees her and FRANK JUNIOR And there she was—in the middle of all those glamazons . but the Sexy Nurses return to block his way. Should we set it or get a surgical consult? FRANK JUNIOR (Caseyesque—showing off for her) Let's not jump to any conclusions. FRANK JUNIOR (struggling not to lose it) Yes . uh . Doctor . Doctor Conners. The minute I saw her.. I knew. We'll run every test we can... I needed the help.. Nurse Strong. Brenda lifts the bloody sheet.) FRANK JUNIOR Wait! Nurse! Not you! (He tries to follow.. pushing a gurney.. BRENDA (leading him to water) Okay.) BRENDA Doctor Conners! MVA.. she was the one. but— INTERN (interrupting. car versus bike. I .
ENSEMBLE READY READY COME ON.. OOH . I was .. CAN'T CATCH MY BREATH DOCTOR YOU GOT THE KISS OF DEATH NURSES AND I'M READY READY COME ON... I haven’t been getting much sleep at the apartment these days.. LET'S ROCK STEADY ALL 'CAUSE I'M READY ......61 NURSE I KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT AN APPLE A DAY TO BE THE STRONGEST GAL IN TOWN BUT IF AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY I'M GONNA BURN THAT ORCHARD DOWN! NURSE BABY DON'T STOP UNTIL I'M HEALED OOH OOH .... FOR DOCTOR'S ORDERS! WOO! (The doctors and nurses exit. LET'S ROCK STEADY ALL MEN NURSES AND DOCTORS AHH . uh . Brenda enters. TAKE OUT THAT STETHOSCOPE YOU MAY BE MY ONLY HOPE SO I'M READY READY TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS ALL NURSES TALKING ‘BOUT WHAM-BAM DAMN NURSE OXYGEN PLEASE.) BRENDA Doctor Conners? Doctor Conners? FRANK JUNIOR (wakes with a start) Oh. I'VE GOT BLUE CROSS AND I'VE GOT BLUE SHIELD AND I'M READY READY TO TAKE DOCTOR'S ORDERS DOCTOR'S ORDERS NURSE BABY.. HOT DAMN NURSES OOH OOH . OOH . . I'M GONNA BURN THAT ORCHARD DOWN SONG ENDS.. Frank Junior grabs some shut-eye on a gurney..
dark red in translucent plastic. BRENDA (half beat) Goodbye. BRENDA Is there anything I can do? FRANK JUNIOR You could have coffee with me. do you know which patient gets the O-Negative? (She holds up a blood bag. BRENDA But their coffee’s worse than the tuna.) BRENDA Are you okay? FRANK JUNIOR Sorry . They don't like us to fraternize with the doctors. Pretend I’m a pilot. FRANK JUNIOR I guess I do. Hello. Doctor Conners. groaning.) FRANK JUNIOR Nurse Strong! BRENDA I’m sorry.62 BRENDA Doctor Conners.at the cafeteria. (She moves to go. Is it me? BRENDA I’m so sorry. Or an astronaut.) NURSE O-negative! O-negative! Who’s got the O-negative? (Brenda holds it up and the nurse grabs it. FRANK JUNIOR Hello.. just some bad tuna. FRANK JUNIOR Pretend I'm not a doctor. I've tried to start a conversation with you four times a day for eleven days and you’ve barely even said hello. Frank Junior takes one look and turns and clutches his stomach.. sir.) Doctor? (A nurse strides through.. Oh! You mean have a cup of coffee in a social way.. .
) FRANK JUNIOR See? Look at you. no. FRANK JUNIOR You’re very serious. sir... I'll call surgery. you just have to sound like you know what you're talking about.. FRANK JUNIOR If you want them to listen. BRENDA Good day. I don’t think I could see you as a pilot. no one ever listens to me. It’s just .) INTERN Doctor Conners. Doctor Conners.) BRENDA Trauma One. sort of a part I play. tall. FRANK JUNIOR I’m the youngest doctor here. They’re all so confident and sure of themselves and . you just want people to think you are? FRANK JUNIOR Well. Brenda steps up. no.. we've got a kitchen accident... Doctor Conners. Go! (The Interns hurry off. I mean—wait. BRENDA Oh. Act like you have confidence. and you won't be. Okay? BRENDA (smiles) Okay. And you’re the best nurse we have. (Two Interns enter at a run. BRENDA Thank you. BRENDA So you’re not really a skirt-chasing party animal. BRENDA I’m just trying to do a good job. and pretty soon you will.63 BRENDA Oh. yeah. A playboy maybe. And they can't exactly find the hand . (Frank Junior takes one look and starts to lose it. with a gurney. FRANK JUNIOR I’m not really in to all that Riverbend madness. I’m the youngest nurse here. . Act like you're not afraid. FRANK JUNIOR Hey—there's a smile. Meat slicer. I mean.
.) . And waits.] HANRATTY (also to us) Actually.64 FRANK JUNIOR Call me Frank. and Connecticut.) HANRATTY Sooner or later. film noir . it's taking Agent Hanratty a really really long time to visit the house of every single runaway—[in New York. we cracked it pretty quickly— FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty. Hanratty turns to us.. BRENDA Okay. Maybe this part is my show. FRANK JUNIOR Brenda wasn't a mistake. HANRATTY Sooner or later— FRANK JUNIOR (abruptly turns to us) Meanwhile. HANRATTY I interviewed your parents. You weren't there. He sings. HANRATTY Sort of a . they always make a mistake. It's my show. MUSIC. (a moment. FRANK JUNIOR Sure. (Hanratty appears opposite. Fine.. Phillip Marlowe.. You were busy with Brenda.. (Frank Junior gestures: Have at it. type of thing. then she remembers:) Oh! Surgery! (She hurries off. New Jersey. FRANK JUNIOR All right. watching him. Frank Junior watches her go. Frank.) SONG: LIVE IN LIVING COLOR (REPRISE) FRANK JUNIOR LIVE IN LIVING COLOR NOW THE PICTURE SEEMS SO CLEAR SHE'S ALIVE IN LIVING COLOR SO EXCUSE ME WHILE I DISAPPEAR ..
Paula enters.65 HANRATTY It was hot. But not as hot as the woman I was about to interview. Too bad she was some poor kid’s mother. Hanratty will become the fourth. (MUSIC. She gave new meaning to the words femme fatale.) FRANK JUNIOR Ladies and Gentlemen. Paula Abagnale and the Abagnale Dancers perform "Dancing Around the Subject". a few years older. even for August. So hot my ass was sticking to the seat of my car like a fly on paper and my suit was my own personal sauna. . with three handsome DANCING BOYS.
Heavens to Betsy. PAULA I don't have a recent one. your son's in a great deal of trouble.66 Scene 3: The Barnes House and A Bar.. (One of the Handsome Dancing Men hands her the yearbook. it's possible. Here .. that's him. Unlikely. PAULA Ce n'est pas possible. you should be very proud. She opens the book up. I ALWAYS KNEW I’D SEE THIS DAY I CAN’T SAY IT’S A SHOCK WHAT’S THAT EXPRESSION? QU’EST-CE QUE C’EST? HE’S “A CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK” BUT IF YOU SEE HIM PLEASE PASS ON THIS PLEA DON’T BE A STRANGER TELL HIM THAT FOR ME HANRATTY If I could just look at a photo .. PAULA It sounds like Frankie’s good at this. HANRATTY Oh. but possible. New Rochelle PAULA I haven’t seen Frankie. ..) HANRATTY That's him. and Hanratty grabs it. He has been passing bad checks. forging government documents— PAULA Well? So? Half of the kids his age are on dope but instead you chase after Frankie because he made a little mistake? Tant pis. since he ran away. HANRATTY Yes. (reads from yearbook) Class Treasurer? PAULA Is Frankie in some sort of trouble? HANRATTY Ma'am.. I'll write you a check— HANRATTY So far it's one-point-four million dollars.. his junior class yearbook . If you wanted to raise a crook. Tell me how much he owes.
ALL'S FAIR . Frank Senior on a barstool. C’EST LA VIE DON’T BE A STRANGER TELL HIM THAT FOR ME HANRATTY You haven't heard from him since you left your husband? PAULA I'm to blame. HANRATTY Okay then.) FRANK SENIOR I GUESS TO YOU I SEEM A SCHMUCK WELL. I'LL JUST BIDE MY TIME PAULA IN LOVE.67 PAULA MY FRANKIE HAD A CLEVER MIND HE COULD SPEND HOURS ALL ALONE I WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN SURPRISED TO FIND HE CHANGED HIS DIAPER ON HIS OWN COULD I HAVE BEEN THERE MORE? WELL. I COULDN'T HIDE WHEN LOVE HAD FLOWN AWAY CHILDREN CLOSE THEIR EYES BUT STILL THEY SEE I TOOK A CHANCE. (Split scene: The Barnes living room splits the stage with a dive bar. Paula continues to dance with the THREE ATTRACTIVE MEN in the background. He says Frankie writes to him. ma'am. Is that what you're saying? HANRATTY I don't do blame. HANRATTY And would I find his father? PAULA Check the bars in town. I just catch the bad guys. PAULA THOUGH I TRIED. A NEW ROMANCE IS IT A CRIME TO SAY I MADE A CHOICE AND CHOSE WHAT'S BEST FOR ME HANRATTY Where might I locate your son? PAULA Ask his father.
Mister Abagnale. I expect a father to do that. serving his country. HANRATTY Can I see that letter? . Here's the truth. He's over in Nam. FRANK SENIOR Okay. I’d like to bring him in alive. He never was. Real guns. HANRATTY Do you have any idea where your child is? FRANK SENIOR He's always in the air. SONG ENDS. People get shot in my line of work. He's a pilot for Pan Am! What a life! HANRATTY Your son isn’t a pilot with anyone.68 FRANK SENIOR 'CAUSE I BELIEVE THAT LADY LUCK CAN STILL TURN ON A DIME PAULA COMME A LA GUERRE FRANK SENIOR AND MAYBE ONE WILL ONCE AGAIN BE THREE PAULA C'EST C'QUE J'AI TOUJOURS DIT FRANK SENIOR DON'T BE A STRANGER TELL THEM THAT FOR ME PAULA DON'T BE A STRANGER TELL HIM THAT FOR ME BOTH (NO) DON'T BE A STRANGER TELL HIM (THEM) THAT FOR ME. I do. Real bullets. FRANK SENIOR I knew that. (waves an envelope) Got a letter from him just today. Mister Abagnale. He signed up. Your son is a counterfeiter and a con man. I just wanted to see what you knew. (looks Hanratty over) You expect a father to give up his son. HANRATTY Yes. Now listen to me.
Frank Junior quietly replaced by the regular BARTENDER.) FRANK JUNIOR These two need some music.) A saloon song for two lonely souls. HANRATTY A man should face up to what he's done. (He smiles and exits as Hanratty and Frank Senior turn back downstage. Don't let the bastards get the best of you. You can tell him to stop. HANRATTY Frank. FRANK SENIOR Then I think we're all in a lot of trouble.) HANRATTY Mister Abagnale. Me. the game. I'd say.69 FRANK SENIOR (shakes his head. He's in country. Your kid needs you now. Jesus Christ. Look out for yourself. He got out of the game at just the right time. FRANK SENIOR Please—Frank. What could they possibly have in common? Oh yeah. I couldn't live up to that. I did the best I could. the kid used to see me as Dean Martin. and JFK all rolled into one. risking his life for you and me. when the banks and the government and the big boys try to rob you blind. (MUSIC. FRANK SENIOR What can I possibly do for him that he can't do better for himself? HANRATTY You can tell him to come in. . HANRATTY Is that what you taught your son? FRANK SENIOR A man should go after what he wants in life. HANRATTY The game? FRANK SENIOR You know. I told him I loved him—every day. (The BARTENDER turns to pour for them—and it's Frank Junior. Carl. puts letter away) No return address. Hell. Not a bad way to leave his troubles behind. You might be the only one who can.
GROW SOME BALLS FRANK SENIOR Oh. I'D HAVE LOVED A HUG BUT HEY. KID. RUN!" . HANRATTY Yeah. I CAME OUT JUST FINE AND IF I EVER WOULD CRY HE'D SMACK THE TEAR FROM OUT MY EYE HE TOLD ME "GROW UP. Carl. THAT WAS POP'S ONLY PLAN HE NEVER KISSED ME OR SANG "BABY MINE" SURE.70 HANRATTY Maybe you should've told him not to commit grand larceny. BE A MAN FRANK SENIOR LITTLE BOY. Every single day. THAT MOTTO RANG THROUGHOUT THE HALLS ON MY TENTH BIRTHDAY HE SHOWED ME A GUN THEN TOOK ME TO THE CORNFIELDS AND SAID "OKAY . HANRATTY I swear to God. Our fathers screw us up.. It's the eternal cycle. LITTLE BOY. we turn around and do the same to our kids.." HANRATTY But you want to do your kid better. BE A MAN. BE A MAN YEAH. FRANK SENIOR Hah! HANRATTY LITTLE MAN. he did not. YOU'RE NO PETER PAN. FRANK SENIOR Way of the world. HANRATTY Until someone breaks it. FRANK SENIOR Then what the hell do you know about it? I suppose your father was a prince. Carl? HANRATTY I do not. right? FRANK SENIOR You got any kids. SONG: LITTLE BOY. Of darkness.
I DON'T THINK ABOUT THAT ANY LONGER HANRATTY NO ONE IN THE BLEACHERS FRANK SENIOR FISTFIGHTS WITH MY TEACHERS BOTH I'M LIVING PROOF WHAT DOESN'T KILL YA MAKES YA STRONGER! HANRATTY So what do you say we set the kid straight. Can't hold on forever. HANRATTY You're sure about that? FRANK SENIOR Ya gotta let go. HANRATTY LUCKY FOR ME. huh Frank? FRANK SENIOR (thickly) Aw. WHEN YOU HAVE A KID HANRATTY MY EX SAID HEAVEN FORBID .71 HIS SENSE OF HUMOR WAS LAME FRANK SENIOR Like father. waves it) A pilot! Serving his country! (slaps the envelope on the bar) He's doin' fine. LITTLE ME THEY COME WITH NO WARRANTY I TRIED TO FIX IT BUT WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED BOTH IT'S HARD TO SAY BUT FATHER DOESN'T ALWAYS KNOW BEST FRANK SENIOR SO CARL. GROW SOME BALLS BOTH BALLGAMES THAT HE MISSED NIGHTS HE CAME HOME PISSED WELL. Carl. (he sings) LITTLE MAN. SO WAS HIS AIM! IF HE HAD SEWN SOME NEEDLEPOINT THAT HUNG ON THE WALLS (IT WOULDA SAID) LITTLE MAN. (pulls the envelope out. the kid's great. like son.
) . sit hard. and pass out cold. okay? BARTENDER Buddy.) SONG: MAN INSIDE THE CLUES (REPRISE) HANRATTY I’VE LOOKED INTO SO MANY LIVES BUT NEVER GOT THIS CLOSE THE DISTANCE MADE IT EASIER TO SEE I LIKE TO DO THE JOB AT HAND AND THEN IT’S “ADIOS” BUT HERE’S A CASE THAT’S GOT THE BEST OF ME AN ENVELOPE WITH HIS ADDRESS A BRAND NEW SET OF TRACKS LEADING TO A KID WITH NO ROADS LEFT TO CHOOSE THERE’S NO ONE LEFT TO SAVE THE DAY IT’S TIME TO FACE THE FACTS SO I’LL TAKE THAT RIDE TO THE BOY INSIDE THE CLUES (He goes. (pulls out a few bills) Make sure he gets home. Hanratty steps outside the bar. head on the bar. (Hanratty watches Frank Senior waver. NOT AS I DID BOTH LIKE DAD AFTER DAD AFTER DAD AFTER DAD SINCE THE WHOLE MESS BEGAN FRANK SENIOR YOU DO THE BEST YOU CAN HANRATTY LITTLE BOY. Music switches to “MAN INSIDE THE CLUES” Hanratty picks up the letter.) BARTENDER Anything else for ya? HANRATTY Payphone? I need to get to Atlanta. TRANSITION TO .72 FRANK SENIOR DO AS I SAY. he is home.. Checks the return address. Slaps it against his hand. (MUSIC. BE A MAN SONG ENDS..
And so I left. FRANK JUNIOR No. (She groans. I mean. Frank..U. I'm sorry. I’d wait forever for you. BRENDA But you’re the Harvard graduate world traveler and I'm just . But we have nothing in common. ordinary. You've been to Paris. Well—I sort of ran away. BRENDA I didn’t mean to be rude. You know girls from everywhere. It’s okay. Home. I just—I’m not ready. and Italy. BRENDA But why me. (Frank Junior emerges from the covers. BRENDA You say that now. Why would you do something like that? BRENDA I was engaged. and on the morning of my wedding day I looked at myself in my dress and I realized I didn’t want to marry him.) FRANK JUNIOR Brenda. it took a month just to get you to talk to me.. Why me? FRANK JUNIOR Because . (Brenda emerges. I love that I can be myself around you..) Brenda come on. it’s fine—I love a challenge. To be married. why'd you leave New Orleans? BRENDA (turns away) Oh.C. FRANK JUNIOR You ran away! Wow. No reason. . and think of all the beautiful women there must be in Germany.) BRENDA I’m sorry. and he wasn’t very nice to me. Frank? You could have any nurse here. I love that you’re good at your job and that you work hard.73 Scene 4: Atlanta General Hospital INTERCOM Code Blue.. I want to. And I haven’t been back since. He was the son of my father’s law partner.. FRANK JUNIOR Brenda. (reaches for her) You know I'll never hurt you. it’s okay—I can wait.. FRANK JUNIOR Brenda. like . Code Blue! Party in the I. I love that I can ask you anything. FRANK JUNIOR I think we have more than you know.
THE GRAND CANYON? JUST A HOLE. BRENDA THE AURORA BOREALIS? FRANK JUNIOR JUST A NIGHT LIGHT ON THE FRITZ BRENDA STONEHENGE? FRANK JUNIOR JUST A BUNCH OF ROCKS . I don't need a fancy restaurant or a huge orchestra— (He sneaks a look to the bandstand.. THE GRAND CANAL IN VENICE? AN EYE-TALIAN TOILET BOWL. I don't need Paris. I'VE SEEN THE SEVEN WONDERS IF YOU GIVE OR TAKE A FEW BUT ALL THEM SEVEN WONDERS WELL.) —just some subtle orchestrations. And maybe a little mood lighting. (Frank sings.) SONG: SEVEN WONDERS FRANK JUNIOR I'VE SEEN THE SEVEN WONDERS IF YOU GIVE OR TAKE A FEW BUT ALL THEM SEVEN WONDERS WELL.74 FRANK JUNIOR Ordinary is beautiful. THEY CAN'T COMPARE TO YOU I'VE BEEN A LOTTA PLACES YES.. while I was looking for you. THEY CAN'T COMPARE TO YOU I'VE BEEN A LOTTA PLACES YES. I'VE TRAVELED NEAR AND FAR BUT NOW I KNOW THAT HOME IS WHERE YOU ARE NIAGARA FALLS? A LEAKY FAUCET THAT A PLUMBER OUGHTA FIX THE PYRAMIDS? ARE REALLY JUST A DUSTY PILE OF BRICKS. THE TAJ MAHAL? A FIXER-UPPER. I'VE TRAVELED NEAR AND FAR BUT NOW I KNOW THAT HOME IS WHERE YOU ARE.) All that other stuff was just what I found along way . (MUSIC.
Frank. tell them we're in love. BRENDA MOUNT RUSHMORE? FRANK JUNIOR SOMEONE CLIMB UP THERE AND TELL THEM BOYS A JOKE! FRANK JUNIOR + BRENDA YES. FRANK JUNIOR We could go to your parents. if you were engaged? BRENDA Come on. Don't tease me.75 BRENDA LA BREA'S TAR? FRANK JUNIOR THE PITS. I can't—I don't want to be a doctor forever. You'll change your mind. JUST STANDING STILL. Brenda. FRANK JUNIOR I won't. We can run away tonight. FRANK JUNIOR Do you think you could go home again .. You're the overnight ER supervisor. I want to make a home with you. (sings) I'VE BEEN A LOTTA PLACES BUT I'VE LEARNED NOW NEAR AND FAR THERE'S NO NEED TO ROAM 'CAUSE HOME IS WHERE YOU ARE BRENDA THERE'S NO NEED TO ROAM 'CAUSE HOME IS WHERE YOU ARE FRANK JUNIOR YES. MY TRAVELIN' DAYS ARE OVER GET THE CHECK.. BRENDA My father is very intimidating. BRENDA HOW 'BOUT THE LEANING TOWER OF PISA? FRANK JUNIOR LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING UP AND BROKE. I'LL PAY THE BILL 'CAUSE I SEE ALL THE WONDERS IN YOUR EYES. NOW I KNOW . BRENDA We can't just run away. FRANK JUNIOR The clock's ticking.
fast forward a few weeks for a little segment I like to call "Frank's on First.76 FRANK JUNIOR + BRENDA THAT HOME IS WHERE YOU ARE. SONG ENDS.) FRANK JUNIOR While Brenda and I go get dressed. (As they ride off stage on their respective gurneys. and catch the train to Nawlins. Frank Junior speaks to us." .
Cod. HANRATTY (to quick head shakes from Wanamaker) What about Robert Franklin? Frank Thompson? Frank Meyers? Meyer Williams? William Robertson? WANAMAKER Robert Wilson? DOLLAR Robert Williamson. WANAMAKER He looks like a pilot.. A Couple Weeks Later (MUSIC. Frank Taylor. and Dollar with Doctor Wanamaker. Frank Williams.) HANRATTY Doctor. HANRATTY He's not a pilot. and William Franklin Williams. WANAMAKER So is he a doctor? . (Branton pulls out a picture of Frank Junior) BRANTON Have you seen a man who looked like this? WANAMAKER Maybe . WANAMAKER That's a lot of names.. WANAMAKER Wilson Robertson? DOLLAR Robert Wilkinson? HANRATTY Shut up. William Franklin. we're looking for a man who goes by the names of Frank Abagnale. Frank William Abagnale. Branton. HANRATTY He's not a pilot. But that man's a pilot. HANRATTY William Robertson. Lights on Hanratty. Dollar.77 Scene 5: Hospital Corridor.
Dollar. . HANRATTY Frank Conners. Dollar. do you have any idea who you're looking for? (Branton pulls out another photo) BRANTON Frank William Abagnale Junior. Frank— HANRATTY Shut up.K. Brenda something. Frank Williams. DOLLAR A. Looked like this? WANAMAKER Without the uniform. COD Frank Collins? WANAMAKER Frank Conners. Don't know where. DOLLAR I knew a Frank Collins in high school. Frank Taylor. DOLLAR Jeez.78 HANRATTY Wait—he's a doctor? WANAMAKER Are you asking me or telling me? HANRATTY Did he say he's a doctor? WANAMAKER Son. Ran off with a nurse.A. HANRATTY So who's Frank Collins? WANAMAKER You tell me. we did have a Frank Conners. HANRATTY + COD + BRANTON + WANAMAKER Shut up. I don't know. Turned in all his paperwork on time. WANAMAKER You know. COD Frank Conners. Too bad—good doctor.
Now. Brenda stands nervously in a spot. you ever go in to take out someone’s appendix and come out with something else? WANAMAKER Once or twice. Brenda Strong.) FRANK JUNIOR Go ahead. in tableau. Carol Strong. (Hanratty and men leave. HANRATTY For the love of—Doc.. supportively. brilliant. and she runs to the dining room. And the cultured. MUSIC: A vaudeville out. And featuring the lovely. as if looking into the camera. introducing the newest feature on our show. and unique Mrs.. no. Lights change. He just supervised the ER. and incredibly intimidating future father-in-law. . Frank Junior is behind her. Why? HANRATTY Let's go. on:) . BRENDA And now. (He gives her a little nudge. with some dread. District Attorney. (he crosses to join the Strongs..) FRANK JUNIOR (to us) Introducing our newest young star. Frank Junior continues presenting as each Strong enters in turn. witty. at home with the Strong family! (turns to Frank Junior) Are you sure you're ready for this? FRANK JUNIOR I was born ready.79 HANRATTY You let this man operate on patients? WANAMAKER Oh. and stands by the dining room table. Roger Strong . refined..
But now for the make-or-break round. I am a Lutheran. sir. . thinks) Two little mice fell into a bucket of cream. Where did you learn that. you were in California? FRANK JUNIOR Yes. First Lutheran Church of Death Valley. bows head. Do you come from a large family? FRANK JUNIOR Please. FRANK JUNIOR Oh. ROGER Well then. CAROL Amen and goddamn that was beautiful. you pious piece of cutie-pie? FRANK JUNIOR The. ROGER + BRENDA Amen.) ROGER And before Atlanta. call me Frank. Frank. Are you a Lutheran? FRANK JUNIOR Why. but I hope to have lots of kids. Family is the most important thing. CAROL Well goddamn and gumbo. yes. Much better than that ratty little Delacroix boy. I think you landed one this time. We pick up the scene in progress. he struggled so hard that he eventually churned that cream into butter and walked out. no. Amen. absolutely. Death Valley Children's Hospital.80 Scene 6: The Strong House. sir. BRENDA Mother. CAROL Ding ding! Correct answer. sir. would you like to say grace? (off Frank Junior's hesitation:) Unless you're not comfortable. (folds hands. Right behind the Macy’s. now. Don't lie to me. New Orleans (The tableau comes to life as all take their seats for dinner. ah. This one's a hunky hunk of you-betcha. I'm an only child. Brenda. ROGER Doctor Conners. ROGER They have a Children's Hospital in Death Valley? FRANK JUNIOR Yes. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned but the second mouse.
then I decided. BRENDA Oh. You're always bellyachin' about how hard it is to find assistant prosecutors who aren't bayou inbreds. right? I tell ya.. why not try my hand at pediatrics? BRENDA Well.. BRENDA + CAROL Berkeley! BRENDA That's where daddy went! FRANK JUNIOR Oh! Wow. have you decided which hospital you want to work at here in New Orleans? FRANK JUNOR Well. I passed the bar in California. CAROL Oh my saints and stars. ROGER Are you a doctor or a lawyer? FRANK JUNIOR Before I went to medical school. Frank.. yes. then:) I'm sorry. Roger. . CAROL Sakes alive. Fantastic. Was that snake Hollingsworth still teaching there when you went through Berkeley? FRANK JUNIOR Hollingsworth . the yummy Yankee is a doctor and a lawyer! Oh. I’ve been thinking about getting back into law. ROGER And that dog of his? Tell me Frank. could he Daddy? Could he please? Could he come work with you please? ROGER So.. Yale. I practiced law for a year. you got yourself magic on a stick with this one! ROGER Where did you go to law school? Harvard. to be quite honest. Frank should work for you. darlin'. Brenda. meaner than ever. The dog was dead when I got there. Columbia .81 ROGER Frank. aren’t you full of surprises. what was the name of his little dog? FRANK JUNIOR (works the problem. ? FRANK JUNIOR Berkeley. FRANK JUNIOR (a look to us: he's surprised himself) Yes I am. Grumpy old Hollingsworth.
I’m nothing. a lawyer.. FRANK JUNIOR Know what... FRANK JUNIOR Well goddamn and gumbo! (All laugh. Tell me the truth. If you want my daughter .) BRENDA Oh. Frank! (Brenda and Frank kiss. FRANK JUNIOR I am? ROGER Yes you are. ROGER But who are you Frank? If you want my blessing . ROGER No. really. Carol jumps up:) CAROL Oh. Frank. Daddy! But. sir . I know what you are. sir? ROGER The truth. I’m not a doctor.. FRANK JUNIOR Brenda’s the best girl I’ve ever known. The truth is I’m not a lawyer. I’m just a kid who’s in love with your daughter. look at the time! ROGER Is it seven-thirty already? BRENDA Is it time for Mitch? FRANK JUNIOR Mitch? CAROL Come on. (pause) You’re a romantic.. I'd like to hear the truth from you now. A doctor. and I have a right to know. What are you doing here? What is a man of your accomplishments doing with Brenda? After all.. So what are you. is . sir. Daddy.. y’all! .82 ROGER How unfortunate. FRANK JUNIOR The truth? The truth. Men like us are nothing without the women we love. a Lutheran. we’ve been through all this before with her.. Frank? 'Cause I think you're about to ask my daughter's hand in marriage. She’s the real thing.
V.S. and the Sing Along Gang! Hey! Don't just sit there. MUSIC. Let's begin with all those beautiful mothers! ROGER Take it.) MITCH MILLER NBC Presents: Sing Along With Mitch! Starring me. Come on and sing! This one's for the whole family. SONG: (OUR) FAMILY TREE CAROL I FEEL A MIGHTY QUAKE THE SOUTH BEGINS TO SHAKE UNDER OUR FAMILY TREE THE LEAVES BEGIN TO BLOW GONE WITH THE WIND THEY GO ALL THROUGH OUR FAMILY TREE UP TOP MAGNOLIAS BLOOM THEY SPREAD A SWEET PERFUME FOR THIS ANCESTRAL JUBILEE NOW EVERY BOUGH MUST PULL ITS WEIGHT IT’S TIME TO PRUNE AND PROPAGATE WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY TREE MITCH MILLER Let's hear from those fantastic fathers! ROGER I HEAR THE DOGWOOD'S BARK A SEED'S BEGUN TO SPARK INSIDE OUR FAMILY TREE A TWIG BEGINS TO POKE FROM OUT THAT MIGHTY OAK TO JOIN OUR JAMBOREE CAROL Ruff! Tsst! FAMILY TREE CAROL JAMBOREE MEN SAVE SOME OF THAT GUMBO FOR ME ROGER AND LADIES AND LIKE A SLIDE TROMBONE HE GLIDES OUT FULLY GROWN A DIXIELAND R.83 FRANK JUNIOR Who’s Mitch? (They all head for the couch.P. MITCH MILLER appears. CAROL AND MEN WA-WAH WA-WA-WA-WAH . Mother. Mitch Miller.
because they all led me to you. MITCH MILLER Frank. ALL WOO!! FRANK JUNIOR I'LL GIVE A REBEL YELL TO EVERY SOUTHERN BELLE UNDER OUR FAMILY TREE I'LL SWING THE SECOND LINE WHEN OUR TWO CLANS COMBINE FOR SOME BIG FRANK JUNIOR + ALL EASY HARMONY FRANK JUNIOR TRUMPETS BEGIN TO SHOUT TO WELCOME YOUR NEW SPROUT YOU'VE CHARMED THIS YANKEE REFUGEE YOU’RE ALL SO LUSH AND OVERGROWN BUT I KNOW I’LL NEVER BE ALONE I'M GLAD TO CLIMB YOUR FAMILY TREE ROGER + CAROL + BRENDA + FRANK JUNIOR YOUR LOVE HAS RAISED THE BAR I'M SWINGIN' ON A STAR DOO WOW! FRANK JUNIOR FOR THAT WHO NEEDS A LAW DEGREE?!? GIRLS THE TREES THAT BEAR THE RIPEST FRUITS STRONG FAMILY SINGERS DOO WOW! . Brenda Strong. I will marry you. but I wouldn’t change a single one. will you marry me? BRENDA Yes Frank Conners. welcome to the Family Tree.84 ROGER AND NO ONE MINDS AN EXTRA LIMB CAROL ESPECIALLY WHEN IT LOOKS LIKE HIM ROGER + CAROL + LADIES SO WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY TREE MITCH MILLER Ready Frank? FRANK JUNIOR (goes down on one knee) I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life.
BOYS ARE THE TREES THAT HAVE THE DEEPEST ROOTS ROGER + CAROL + BRENDA SO WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY STRONGS + STRONG FAMILY SINGERS WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY TREE Look out old Frankie is home! SONG ENDS. (After applause: MUSIC. Roger takes Carol and they dance close. Much as Frank Senior and Paula danced at the top of the show. Frank Junior watches Roger and Carol dance. Brenda returns and helps Frank Junior on with a trench coat. He gives her a kiss, and as Roger and Carol dance off we TRANSITION TO:) FRANK JUNIOR I'M WELCOME IN THE FAMILY TREE!
Scene 7: Dive Bar, New Rochelle (Frank Senior, in a postal uniform, at the bar, a crusty old BARTENDER behind it. Frank Junior enters.) FRANK JUNIOR Dad. FRANK SENIOR (turns, doesn't go to him) What are you doing here? FRANK JUNIOR I came to see you. Why are you dressed like that? FRANK SENIOR I took a job. A government job. I'm beating them at their own game. I'm a government employee—you see how beautiful that is? You got a good lawyer? FRANK JUNIOR I sort of am a lawyer now. FRANK SENIOR Look at this letter. The I.R.S. wants more. They ate the cake. Now they want the crumbs. You know what? I'll make them chase me. For the rest of their lives. (looks at Frank Junior) I had an FBI agent come see me. FRANK JUNIOR Mister Hanratty. FRANK SENIOR You got their number, son. The United States government, champ. Running for the hills. FRANK JUNIOR Dad. It's over. I'm gonna stop now. FRANK SENIOR They're never gonna catch you, Frankie. Why would you stop? FRANK JUNIOR I'm settling down. I'm going to raise a family. (reaches into his coat, pulls out an invitation) I came here to give you this. It's an invitation to an engagement party. Daddy, I'm getting married. Can you believe it? I'm getting married. I've got two tickets for you and mom, first-class, for the wedding— FRANK SENIOR Why would you do that? You're on top of the world. FRANK JUNIOR I'm changing my life, Dad. And you won't have to worry about anything anymore. The house, the Cadillac, Everything they took from us. I’m going to get it all back. And Mom’s gonna see— FRANK SENIOR Your mother's remarried. To my friend Jack Barnes. They have a house out on Long Island.
FRANK JUNIOR Why would she do that? FRANK SENIOR Don't get married, Frankie. FRANK JUNIOR But—why would she do that to us? FRANK SENIOR There's no us anymore. Listen to me. I'm your father. FRANK JUNIOR Then tell me to stop. FRANK SENIOR Why would I tell you to stop? FRANK JUNIOR Because you're my father. FRANK SENIOR You can't stop. You're on a winning streak. You gotta ride it. You gotta ride that, baby. (as Frank Junior begins to back away.) You're an Abagnale! (a cappella, he sings:) THEY KNEW THE KEY TO LIFE (Frank Jr. pushes him away and exits.) Hey, come on and sing it with me, Frankie ... CAUSE WHEN LEMONS CLOG YOUR SINK UP DON’T JUST STAND AROUND AND SCREAM (to the band) Hey, hit it guys ... SPIKE SOME LEMONADE AND DRINK UP AND MAKE BUTTER OUT OF CREAM JUST MAKE BUTTER ... (speaks, almost inaudibly, and almost in darkness:) Frankie. (Suddenly a jangly phone RING pierces the darkness. Frank Junior steps into one spot, Hanratty into another. Both on the phone.) HANRATTY Well, well, Doctor Conners. What do you want? FRANK JUNIOR I want it to be over. I'm getting married, Carl. I'm settling down. I'm going to have a family.
The hotel in Lake Charles. I met the girl . the one. Frank. Hanratty looks at us. get all the Louisiana papers. You think we’re just going to call that a wedding present? This is not something that you can run away from. You will go to jail. MUSIC. HANRATTY You're scared because you know I'm getting closer.. (Branton snaps his fingers. but Frank Junior stands stock still in his spot. Where did you think this was headed? FRANK JUNIOR Please let me stop. Please. She knows him as Frank Conners. And you're tired. BRANTON He would've changed his name by now. Carl. Frank Conners. he loses the girl. And TRANSITION TO:) . and goes. last two months. HANRATTY He can't. FRANK JUNIOR I'm getting married. He loses the name. HANRATTY And does she know the truth? About who you are? FRANK JUNIOR Do you? HANRATTY Almost all of it. Blackout. You will be caught. You're scared. I know you rented that car in Shreveport. Hanratty hangs up. Branton joins Hanratty). (Frank Junior hangs up.) HANRATTY They always make a mistake. Carl.. HANRATTY Listen.88 HANRATTY You have stolen almost two million dollars. FRANK JUNIOR Goodbye Carl. Look for an engagement notice.
Brenda sweeps in. right? That's who I am with you. and it's full of money. or whether I was sick. engagement gifts from Daddy's friends— (breaks off. I'm not a lawyer. You’re gonna leave the house after your parents go to sleep. BRENDA Frank. Not even your parents. give the driver that money and tell him to drive all through the night. where should I put these? They're checks... Here's what we're gonna do. I can’t. where'd you get all that money? FRANK JUNIOR A name. . FRANK JUNIOR Whether I was poor. That's my secret. Strong House. sees what he's doing:) What're you doing? Everyone's downstairs waiting to meet the groom-to-be. Frank. I use the name Frank Taylor.89 Scene 8: Brenda's Bedroom. But we all have secrets. you love me no matter what? BRENDA Well—of course. What’s going on? FRANK JUNIOR I mean.. BRENDA Frank .. Here’s money. in a party dress. what are you talking about? Why are you saying all this? FRANK JUNIOR I don't want to lie to you anymore. I never went to medical school. In two days. or a Berkeley graduate. I ran away from home two years ago when I was sixteen. right? BRENDA Of course. I'm not a doctor. FRANK JUNIOR We have to leave.) BRENDA Frank. I’ll be too afraid—I’m no good at lying. you're gonna meet me at Miami International Airport. Sometimes when I travel. a Lutheran. You're not a Lutheran? FRANK JUNIOR Okay. or a . BRENDA What? FRANK JUNIOR You love me. New Orleans (Frank Junior madly pulling suitcases from beneath the bed. BRENDA Frank. Brenda. take a taxi cab. right—what's a name? My name is Frank Conners. or a Harvard graduate.) BRENDA Frank. And you're not going to tell anyone. or whether I had a different name? (He opens a suitcase to throw some clothes in.
Abagnale.) CAROL (offstage) Brenda! HANRATTY Brenda.) BRENDA I don’t think I can do this alone. He pulls away gently. Where is he? BRENDA He’s gone. No time for goodbyes. BRENDA Frank— FRANK JUNIOR Shh. this could end very badly. BRENDA I love you. William. FRANK JUNIOR I love you too. Frank.) I have to go now. Men who shoot to kill. but she pulls him back. Carol. I’m gonna see you real soon. He guides Brenda to it. (He turns to go. We’ve got men after him in every state. FRANK JUNIOR I know you can.) The spotlight’s on you now. FRANK JUNIOR My name. (He kisses her again and slips out the window. (He grabs the suitcase to go. . HANRATTY Where’d he go? (gets no answer. (A spotlight appears. (They kiss. sweetheart. then. Roger. You have to. and Hanratty enter. Brenda. It’s like I told you before—act like you're brave. Before you go.) BRENDA Frank! Please.90 FRANK JUNIOR You know you can do this. Is Frank. You need to tell me where he’s going. Junior. gently:) Listen to me. and you will be. Please tell me your name. Now! BRENDA I can’t.
I DIDN'T GET TO SAY GOODBYE.. HE SURE UNLOCKED MY SOUL SO IN RETURN. OOH-OOH. MMM-MMM. YEAH. (Roger shakes his head and exits. (Brenda continues to look at the pool of light. FLY AWAY BRENDA WHEN I WAS A CHILD MY EYES WERE CLEAR. moving to go) Don’t go anywhere. GOODBYE NO NEED TO TELL ME WHY MY BABY MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY THREE WOMEN OOH-OOH.) Young lady.. if you love him. you’ll do the right thing.. (Hanratty. I SAW THE GOOD SIDE THAT'S THE KIND OF SECOND SIGHT THAT DOESN'T LAST TOO LONG BUT WHEN I WAS LOST I HEARD A VOICE THAT BROUGHT ME HEALING THAT'S THE KIND OF SPECIAL HOPE HE BROUGHT ME WITH HIS SONG PEOPLE ONLY SAW THE DOCTOR.. FLY AWAY . darling. I SURELY WANT TO HELP TO SET HIM FREE . HANRATTY (to Brenda.) SONG: FLY.) COD Hanratty..91 (Cod bursts in. NOW I WANNA SEE HIM FLY . AH-AH BRENDA MEN WHO THEY CALL REAL THREE WOMEN .. and Cod go. LAWYER.. FLY.. Carol.) ROGER Brenda. Three of the guests saw someone leaving out the back. FLY . I'LL BE YOUR ALIBI MY BABY FLY. INDIAN CHIEF BUT HE WAS JUST A LONELY LITTLE BOY TO ME. WITH HIS SWEET AND GENTLE TOUCH.
OOH-OOH-OOH WAS I THE ONLY ONE TO EVER SEE THE BOY SO NOW THEY WANNA CLIP HIS PRECIOUS WINGS AND BRING HIM DOWN BUT IN HIS HEART AND SOUL'S THE KIND OF GOOD THEY CAN'T DESTROY (Brenda’s bedroom starts to go away) YEAH. FLY AWAY . OOH-OOH OOH-OOH AAH-OOH-OOH. OOH-OOHOOH-OOH. AAH-AAH .92 WERE REALLY FAKES WHO LEFT ME NOTHING MMM-MMM-MMM BUT THIS MAN THEY CALL A FAKE GAVE ME SOMETHING REAL AH. AH-AH. YOU AND I. I'LL BE YOUR ALIBI MY BABY FLY. AAH. FLY . CRUEL MEN WITH CHRISTIAN NAMES WHO TAUGHT ME MANNERS BUT THIS MAN WITHOUT A NAME TAUGHT ME HOW TO FEEL THEY ONLY SAW THE MAGIC TRICKS THE SMOKE AND MIRRORS OOH-OOH-OOH. FLY. AAH. AAH-AAH.. GOODBYE NO NEED TO TELL ME WHY MY BABY MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY FLY FLY AWAY GOODBYE MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE OOH-OOH.. OOH-OOH-OOH.... NOW I WANNA SEE HIM FLY .. GOODBYE NO NEED TO TELL ME WHY MY BABY MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY BABY WHEN YOU'RE IN THE CLOUDS PLEASE KEEP A LOOKOUT MAYBE DARLING FIND A HIDEAWAY FOR YOU AND I YOU AND I NOW I'LL SEE HIM FLY . OOH-OOH. WE DIDN'T GET TO SAY GOODBYE. FLY . WE DIDN'T GET TO SAY GOODBYE. I'LL BE YOUR ALIBI MY BABY FLY... BRING HIM DOWN AAH-AAH.. OOH-OOH. FLY AWAY ... AAH-AAH. OOH … FLY … FLY … FLY. MMM-MMM.. FLY. FLY. I'VE KNOWN CRUEL. FLY AWAY … GOODBYE BOY.
OOH-OOH-OOH-OOH. MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY AND I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU THERE YOU'LL FLY BACK HOME TO ME ONE DAY. FLY AWAY. (Lights to black. the deafening roar of a jet plane taking off.93 AAH-AAH. SONG ENDS.) . OOH. FLY. In black. OOH-OOH-OOH.
Frank. HANRATTY Come on. Agent Hanratty! COD (squints at ceiling) I think you shot down a plane. (He looks to them. what does "hold your fire" mean where you come from? DOLLAR (proud) I fired a warning shot.94 Scene 9: Miami International Airport (Lights on the same airport scene we saw at rise: Dollar has just fired his gun. get everyone out of here. FRANK JUNIOR That was close! You could hurt someone. I'd rather take you alive than dead.) HANRATTY For the love of — Dollar. FRANK JUNIOR Can I at least make a statement first? HANRATTY At the airport? No. BRANTON Hanratty don’t let himHANRATTY I got this. who close in) You're not going to fool me again. HANRATTY This is one of your tricks. (He smiles at us. He crosses downstage. . Like you did in that hotel room in L. lost in thought. but this time there's no stinger from the orchestra—only silence. Frank.) I think they should know who I am and what I did and why I did it. Cod. They kind of do. You're not putting on a show for these people. Just go. FRANK JUNIOR I'm sure these people want to know why you're shooting at me. Men! (Jerks his head to the Agents.A. The Agents watch him closely.) HANRATTY Branton.
HANRATTY You left Brenda behind.) When the show’s over? HANRATTY That’s right. (But Frank Junior pays no heed. Son. SONG: GOODBYE FRANK JUNIOR IT'S MY HAPPY ENDING. THE GOOD GUY WON NOW . HANRATTY Let’s go.) FRANK JUNIOR It’s sure been an exciting run. with my beloved Brenda. HANRATTY That’s not true.95 (The other agents hurry the passengers to the exits. FRANK JUNIOR WE CAN STOP PRETENDING. but it’s time for me to settle down to a quiet family life. Frank? What happens when it’s all over? FRANK JUNIOR You mean … (MUSIC. FRANK JUNIOR TELL THE SPOTLIGHT MAN TURN OFF MY LIGHT. (Hanratty murmurs into his walkie-talkie. Any minute. HANRATTY This is not something that you can walk away from. FRANK JUNIOR NOW IT'S TIME TO SAY GOODNIGHT— HANRATTY There's nowhere you can run. You're wanted on every continent. FRANK JUNIOR She'll be here. YEAH.) FRANK JUNIOR 'CAUSE THE SHOW IS DONE NOW AND IT'S TIME TO LEAVE THE STAGE. coming downstage to speak to us: our host.) How does it all end.
We followed her right to you. I’m sorry. I understand. BRENDA Frank. HANRATTY It’s time to give up. (And they do. get her out of here.96 AND THE BAND HAS NO MORE SONGS TO PLAY IT'S A HAPPY ENDING SO I'LL SAY GOODBYE GOODBYE TO ALL THE MAKE BELIEVE GOODBYE THERE'S NO MORE MAGIC UP MY SLEEVE THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO ACT UP HERE I'LL TAKE MY BOW AND DISAPPEAR NO QUESTIONS LEFT FOR ANSWERING THERE'S ONLY ONE WORD LEFT TO SING GOODBYE (Brenda appears. Frank. I tried. FRANK JUNIOR It’s okay.) BRENDA Frank! FRANK JUNIOR Brenda! Just in time. NOW THE CURTAIN'S DESCENDING AND I HOPE YOU GOT YOUR MONEY'S WORTH .) FRANK JUNIOR Brenda? HANRATTY Brenda was your mistake.) FRANK JUNIOR (after she's gone) Yeah. HANRATTY All right. FRANK JUNIOR IT'S A HAPPY ENDING TO THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH. BRENDA Frank—I love you. (He starts toward her but stops short when Branton and Dollar appear behind her. I loved you too.
FRANK JUNIOR My dad’s waiting for me up north. THE PART'S BEEN PLAYED NO STANDING IN THE WINGS AFRAID NO VIOLINS OR PHONY TEARS THE WORD THAT'S MUSIC TO MY EARS IS GOODBYE GOODBYE GOODBYE GOODBYE I'M NOT AFRAID OF STOPPING THIS END COULD BE MY START I WANNA LIVE A LIFE AND NOT JUST PLAY A PART I'LL WALK INTO THE SUNSET I'LL SAIL ACROSS THE SEA . FRANK JUNIOR You’re lying to me. HANRATTY I don't lie. FRANK JUNIOR No. too. HANRATTY I’m sorry. FRANK JUNIOR GONNA STOP THE SHOW NOW 'CAUSE I WANNA LEAVE ON TOP SO GET UP AND GO NOW 'CAUSE THERE'S NOTHING LEFT INSIDE MY HEAD EVERYTHING THAT'S LEFT TO SAY'S BEEN SAID BUT GOODBYE GOODBYE TO ALL THE SONG AND DANCE GOODBYE OFFSTAGE I STAND A BETTER CHANCE THE SHOW IS THROUGH. You don't get to say that.97 (He turns to exit another way. we’re gonna open up the store— HANRATTY Your dad’s dead. Grand Central Station-he fell down some steps and broke his neck.) HANRATTY Let’s go. That's not how this ends. Frank. The police report said he had been drinking. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you. but Hanratty is there. We're gonna move back to New Rochelle. Frank.
Because it won’t bring you dad back. and crosses down to us.) FRANK JUNIOR I'M TIRED OF LIVING ON THE STAGE A LIFE THAT'S ONLY ON THE PAGE THE EMPTY LIVES ARE IN THE PAST I'VE TRIED BEFORE. (Frank Junior is alone on stage. Hanratty is part of the scene.) FRANK JUNIOR I don’t understand. Back to real life. it seems.98 THE FINAL WORD THE LAST YOU'LL HEAR OF ME OF ME IS GOODBYE (He begins to strip the show away. I could run. right now. Mister Hanratty.) GOODBYE TO EVERY NIGHT ALONE GOODBYE GOODBYE TO LIVES THAT I DON’T OWN (Frank Junior looks around at the bare stage. No—he’s not alone. Frozen in a spot. but you won’t. FRANK JUNIOR What if I don't know how? HANRATTY You don’t have a choice. HANRATTY Yup. FRANK JUNIOR How do you know? HANRATTY Because you’re tired of running. though everywhere he turns. FRANK JUNIOR I know. It’s time to stop. BUT HERE'S THE LAST GOODBYE GOODBYE GOODBYE GOODBYE! SONG ENDS. The show’s over. HANRATTY I know. Long after the applause has ended. I just wanted to help him get back on his feet. FRANK JUNIOR I could go. Time to face up to what you’ve done. . Hanratty.
) FRANK JUNIOR Thanks. (Pause. YOUR NOSE IS RUNNING ON MY ONLY SUIT.) Because I'm the only one who can. WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT I'D SHARE THIS DANCE WITH YOU LOOKS LIKE WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER WHICH IS STRANGE BUT TRUE. You’ll come work for the Bureau. Mister Hanratty. FRANK JUNIOR Would I get a badge? HANRATTY Even better. Merry Christmas. it’s only going to get worse . FRANK JUNIOR At the FBI? HANRATTY We need you’re know how. FRANK JUNIOR But why would you want to help me? HANRATTY (Pause. Listen. FRANK JUNIOR The FBI? Really? You’re gonna lock me up.) (Cuffs Frank Jr. You’ll get a life. swiftly embraces Hanratty. then let me out and pay me for what you locked me up for? HANRATTY That’s what I said. BEFORE I SHOOT. FRANK JUNIOR So how do we end this? HANRATTY Your way. (Frank Jr.) HANRATTY Hey. come with me. son.) SONG: (STUCK TOGETHER) STRANGE BUT TRUE HANRATTY STOP YOUR SOBBIN' KID. and now with these computers and credit cards coming in. Frank. ..99 HANRATTY I know. (MUSIC. pay your debt to society and we’ll get you out early. We’re years behind in counterfeit and forgery. You do your time..
NOW THE CHASE IS DONE.100 FRANK JUNIOR (wipes his eyes. HANRATTY Frank was sentenced to fifteen years in prison but was released after seven for good behavior. CAROL Woo! Woo! FRANK JUNIOR I set up my own security company and would pay back every bad check I passed. MISTER TORTOISE—HERE'S YOUR RABBIT STEW. YOU MUST ADMIT I GAVE YOU QUITE THE RUN. Cheryl Ann. FRANK JUNIOR Carl and I became good friends. musters a smile) GUESS YOU CAUGHT ME. HANRATTY Brenda married a real doctor and lived happily ever after. KID WE'LL SEE WHAT GOOD BEHAVIOR CAN DO. THANK YOUR PUBLIC WHILE YOU'RE STILL IN YOUR PRIME. HANRATTY FRANK. CHERYL ANN He never paid me back. LOOKS LIKE WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER WHICH IS STRANGE BUT TRUE. . HANRATTY TELL MISTER RIPLEY AT "BELIEVE IT OR NOT" HANRATTY + FRANK JUNIOR THE SHOW IS OVER AND HE'S ALL THAT I GOT. HANRATTY HARD TO BELIEVE IT BUT WE'RE TYING THE KNOT TODAY FRANK JUNIOR THAT'S OKAY. Let it go. FRANK JUNIOR Agent Hanratty turned out to be as good as his word. How'd you cheat on the bar exam? FRANK JUNIOR I didn't cheat.) HANRATTY Keep your promise. THEY WON'T BE SEEING YOU FOR QUITE A LONG TIME. (Frank Junior turns to us. I studied. and he even was the godfather to my kids. HANRATTY Not now. HANRATTY AND FRANK JUNIOR 'TIL THEN WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER WHICH IS STRANGE BUT TRUE. AND AFTER YOU'VE PAID FOR YOUR LIFE OF CRIME WELL. HANRATTY No! I hate you.
FRANK JUNIOR YOUR JUNIOR PARTNER CAME THROUGH. MISTER TWO-ON-THE-AISLE— YOU NEVER CAN PREDICT WHEN FORTUNE MAY SMILE. HANRATTY LET'S MAKE SOME BUTTER OUT OF CREAM! (Hanratty and Frank Jr. MONKEY DO. MISTER LAWYER. . FRANK JUNIOR I'M GLAD TO BE ON YOUR TEAM. AND TELL J. EDGAR HOOVER.) THE END.101 (MUSIC BUILDS as the full company enters. I THINK I'M GONNA BREAK WITH TRADITION.) FRANK JUNIOR + HANRATTY+FULL COMPANY HEY. "BABY I'VE GONE FISHIN'!" (Frank Jr. and Hanratty ad lib) FRANK JUNIOR IF YOU HAD READ THIS. YOU'D HAVE SAID "NO WAY!" I ALMOST MAKE IT LOOK LIKE CRIME DOES PAY THERE'S LOTS OF FOLKS THAT I MISS EVERYDAY (He looks around at all the faces from his past—the full company. FRANK JUNIOR + HANRATTY BUT NOW A NEW DUET HAS MADE ITS DEBUT AND NOW WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER COMPANY OH YEAH! BOTH IN AND OUT OF LUCK TOGETHER! COMPANY OH YEAH! BOTH I'M GLAD WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER WHICH IS STRANGE BUT TRUE. exit though the house. HANRATTY A SIMPLE CASE OF MONKEY SEE. HANRATTY IN FACT.
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