Eric Li Freshman Special Topics in Composition Mrs. Canter ------------------------------------------------------------My name is Eric Li.

Im not telling you this because I think you give a damn, because I sure wouldnt, but the key thing to notice there is my last name, Li. If youre not familiar with Chinese last names, wellthere you go. You just learned one! Congratulations! You just learned information that is most likely totally useless! Woo. Id like to say this essay is about how I first learned Chinese, a heartwarming story where I somehow acquired the language all on my own through a Chinese Superman comic book, but the truth is I suck like a deflating whoopee cushion making fart noises at Chinese. So instead, this essay is going to be about why I failed to learn Chinese, providing my perspective of failure on language acquisition instead of the perspective of success. One major factor in my failure to learn Chinese is that I didnt learn it from an early age. Even though Im of Chinese descent, I was born in Newfoundland, Canada. Because of this, my native language is actually English, not Chinese. In psychology, theres a theory that theres an optimal age for language acquisition. However, after moving to the U.S., when I first started Chinese school at the age of six, my optimal period for language acquisition may have already passed. However, even in that optimal period of language acquisition my mom has told me that I had trouble with the English alphabet, so its not like there was any indication that I was a language prodigy to begin with. By the time I was going to Chinese school every Saturday, I was already too integrated with English. Chinese seemed too difficult. Unlike English, every word in Chinese has its own symbol and needs to be pronounced in a certain way. Some words in Chinese sound exactly the same to the un-experienced ear, but in fact, have completely

different meanings. The words water () and sleep () are both pronounced with the exact same syllable and are only differentiated by their tone. The difficulty of the language combined with the late start in learning it made it difficult to understand the lessons without a lot of effort. Looking back on Chinese school, I always felt like Chinese came so much more easily for other students than it did for me. As a result, I felt discouraged and didnt really feel like learning Chinese. Despite that, there was one time where my mom really pushed me to learn Chinese. Every Saturday at the beginning of Chinese class there would be a quiz. My mom would make note cards for me to help my study for these quizzes, with Chinese characters on the back of the note cards and the English translations of those characters at the front. I studied with those note cards and the practice really did work for a couple weeks. But one week I gave up when, even after practicing so much, I couldnt remember a Chinese character on a quiz. Stressed and dumbfounded, when I looked around me, I saw that all my other classmates seemed to have easily finished. It felt like even if I practiced harder than my classmates I would still do worse. I know now that had I continued to practice that diligently I probably would have eventually caught up with my classmates. However, back then it was extremely discouraging because I was working for hours and yet still not getting the same results as my classmates. There was definitely responsibility on my part for failing to learn Chinese. But its also true that setbacks like those can deter a child from learning. In both the United States and Canada, English is used far more than Chinese. As a result, I didnt feel motivated to learn Chinese because learning it wasnt a necessity. The importance of the necessity to learn in the language learning process is exemplified by the fact that during the 2 times I visited China, my Chinese improved dramatically. It even got to the point where, amazingly (for me at least), I could actually speak (kind of) with others. Since I was unable to speak English as my native language in China, I felt compelled to learn Chinese while I was there. Under these circumstances, my Chinese improved rapidly. The reverse effect occurred when, as soon as I returned back to the U.S., all that progress seemed to be lost. Maybe I simply forgot all I had learned because it didnt matter anymore.

My parents noticed too. They actually joked, disturbingly seriously, that they should just send me off to China so I would actually learn Chinese. Honestly, if my parents were actually mean enough to send me off to China, it might have worked. On the other hand, if my parents actually did that to me, during our reunion, theres a good chance Id be putting some newly learned Chinese cuss words to use. As I went to higher and higher grades in Chinese, my teachers used English less and less, gradually solidifying the language barrier. When my Chinese teachers eventually used little to no English at all during lessons, I found myself barely able to comprehend what was going on. Chinese school wasnt a place of learning Chinese for me but simply just that place where I met with friends in class and played either tennis or badminton. However, there was one time when I had the opportunity to overcome that language barrier. When my parents encouraged me to take Chinese in middle school, if I had started from the 1st level of Chinese I could have re-learned the basics if I started from scratch. Unfortunately, that clearly didnt happen or else this essay wouldnt exist. My middle school gave me a test to determine whether I could skip a grade or not. And somehow, someway, for what were probably the most nonsensical reasons ever, I passed. I feel like my graders didnt even read the test, their thought process being: Hmmwell this test looks like it was taken by a dyslexic Chinese 2 year old, but he looks Chinese, so its a PASS. Back then, I should have rejected skipping to Chinese level 2 because I missed a real chance to have a fresh start with Chinese. For some bizarre reason I continued to take Chinese in high school under my parents recommendation because they believed it should have been easy. Little did they know that by that point what was taught in those classes was far above my level of experience. By then getting a C was actually an accomplishment for me. The language barrier had become a language brick wall.

My delayed start in learning Chinese, my lack of motivation, and the increasing difficulty level of my Chinese classes were all major contributing factors in my failure to learn Chinese. But I believe that the most important factor out of all of them was that I simply wasnt motivated enough. If I had a great enough motivation to learn Chinese, with enough hard work and perseverance I could have overcome all of the obstacles that inhibited me from learning Chinese. Sherman Alexie, a man born in a culture that shunned education but who succeeded as a successful writer anyway because of his love for reading, is living proof of that. Obstacles can hinder the success of language acquisition (as in my case) and success in general. But with enough motivation, its still possible to succeed regardless of the obstacles we face.