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Greg Gildea Ms. Hinnant English 1101 9/11/13 Influences of a Male My entire life I have had countless influences that drove me to do certain things growing up. My family has always convinced me to study hard in school, be polite, and stay out of trouble, while my friends may have encouraged me to the opposite in some instances. No matter what it was that persuaded to be who I am in my life nothing has influenced me more, than growing up as a male. Obviously being a male has motivated me to dress the way I do and have some of the stereotypical interest of a guy but being a male has also influenced me in ways that I could have never imagined it would. My gender has convinced me to vocally communicate in a certain way, to read the material that I do, and has even induced a certain writing style upon me. Growing up, verbally communicating has always been something I have done in a calm and joking manner. Whether I am hanging out with friends, playing sports, or even just talking with my dad, I have always been surrounded by playful teasing and ridiculing between us guys my entire life. Unlike girls, guys wont hold anything back when we are poking fun at one another, this may be the reason why I have developed such a sarcastic and joking way of communicating, cause without this, things could turn into an ugly situation if someone happens to say something in a stern or offensive manner.
Commented [B5]: You may want to question this a little. I know plenty of girls who dont hold back. Commented [B2]: I feel like this intro is too short. Is there any way you could expand it a little? Commented [B3]: How? Plenty of males dress in different ways. Commented [B4]: Which are what? Make sure youre backing these statements up with evidence. Commented [B1]: You can come up with something more creative than this!

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Men, more than women in my mind are more concerned about their ego or self-image, this may be another reason why I have developed this distinct way of communicating I pointed out before. No one likes to be proved wrong or made fun of in front of people, especially guys, and if its done in an offensive way I have always seen guys react with more rage and aggression than compared to women. Whether its in the form of a chuckle or in the tone of my voice I have learned to communicate in a way that still allows me to poke fun of the people in my life or prove someone wrong in a way that is not offensive and in my mind growing up as a male has played a major role in bringing this upon me. Due to the fact Ive always vocally communicated in a reserved way, I have learned to use writing as a way to express my thoughts and feelings more accurately. Writing has always been a struggle for me, as well as a blessing and growing up as a male is definitely a major reason why. One of my main struggles as a writer is how to get my ideas out of my head and onto paper in a way that doesnt sound like I am writing to one of my friends. This is a result of me growing up my whole life learning that as a young guy its not always cool to express your thoughts in the most knowledgeable way, but instead to use idiotic slang and not care if it sounds dumb. Another roadblock I have encountered as a writer is how to still incorporate my point of view when writing almost entirely about feelings or poetry, topics that dont pertain to me at all. Writing has also been good for me, in a sense it gives me a way to escape that foolish lingo guys talk in, and it allows me to truthfully describe my ideas in a way that sounds wellinformed and mature. Writing also lets me express my views with an assertive tone or even in a less masculine nature without having to worry about being portrayed as arrogant or sounding feminine to someone directly. This has led to me using much more emotion in my writing.

Commented [B6]: Woah. This is a pretty brave statement for you to make. Women tend to be much more concerned about their weight and the way they look.

Commented [B7]: Why do you think this is? Im sure it comes back around to pride, but who or what teaches men that its not okay to be wrong?

Commented [B8]: Can you give me an example here?

Commented [B9]: What does this have to do with being a male?

Commented [B10]: Who taught you this? Do all guys speak this way? Commented [B11]: Why do they not pertain to you? Also, are you arguing that they DO pertain to women? If so, how and why?

Commented [B12]: This is a little vague for me. Can you expand on what you mean here?

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What I read is also majorly influenced by me growing up as a male. Growing up, the media was able to brain wash me with the notion that becoming an outstanding athlete will allow me to get any girl I want, and to become rich and successful, any guys dream. This led me to read anything I could about sports, mainly basketball. Whether it was the sports page in the newspaper or a book on someones career I read it to learn anything I could about the game. As Ive grown older the idea of sports leading me to become rich and successful has faded and although I still love the game I have found an interest in other things such as the field of business. Business, a male dominated profession and the field in which my father works in, I have always found a passion for it. Just like countless other sons I have always aspired to be like my father, this may be the reason why almost entirely what I read about is business related. Whether it is about a certain stocks performance, a business mans story about how he got where he is today or the next best investment, the subject of business is always something I have enjoyed reading about. long novels which flood their stories with excessive emotions and feelings to depict a plot or develop characters have never been something that interested me. Business books typically get straight to the point and I feel as though I can learn something on every page giving me a purpose to continue reading. The influences in my life and the experiences I have gone through have shaped me to be who I am today. My major influences such as my father or my favorite athlete and the experiences I have endured through sports or hanging out with friends are all a direct result of growing up as a male. These influences and experiences have had some impact on my literacy individually but in all nothing influences the way I communicate, what I read, or my writing style more than growing up as a male.
Commented [B15]: An example would work well here. Do you remember a business book in particular that got your attention? Commented [B14]: This could also have a lot to do with how your masculinity has been shaped. As you revise this might be something you want to consider expanding on or thinking more about. Commented [B13]: Good! I like that youre defining what has made you the man you are.

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Greg, Nice work, overall. Gender can be one of the most difficult topics to work with (I think), because typically we just assume that guys read, write, and speak in one way, and girls read, write, and speak in another. What I like about your narrative is that you start to question those things, especially as you talk about the media and its influence on your masculinity. In revision, Id like to see you examine your relationship with your father more in-depth, and how perhaps he was a major figure in showing you what it means to be masculine. Id also like you to work on adding in more personal example and experiences to back up the connections youre trying to make. Use the comments and questions Ive made in the margins to help push you even deeper into critically thinking about how and why your gender has been shaped the way it has. Dont hesitate to e-mail me with any questions or concerns.

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