Bonds-Torres 1 Deric Bonds-Torres Professor Whiteacre ENG 285-10 October 23, 2013

Why Pretend? Why wasnt I just given hands? Id rather have those so at least I could feel the curves of my wife or hold my sons hand after hes born. Ahh these fins do me no good on land, just give me a hand. Or if not a hand then give me a wing! At least then I could fly to get more food rather than waddling for miles and miles. No no not wings, maybe just give me knees so then I can run. Guarantee I would run all the time if I could. And these stupid outfits, what if I want to dress down? No casual Fridays for me. Oh just being me is a chore but if I didnt have fins how would I swim. Im sure thered be a way around itbut I might not be very fast. If I wasnt very fast, would I get eaten? Oh but I would have knees to run right?But I might slip on the ice and break my knees, then I couldnt get food. I guess these outfits arent too bad, I mean they make me look sophisticated much better than if I was wearing spots or those tacky stripes. I guess its not all that bad. Honestly I guess I dont even really know what having hands would feel like because Ive never had them. I also dont really know how great flying would be probably not so great if thats all that Ive ever done. So what if I cant hold my child in my arms or brush my teeth with a toothbrush I am what I am. Why should I pretend to be a human? Being a penguin is hard, but Im just going to guess being a human pretending to be a penguin is probably even harder

Bonds-Torres 2 A Picture Says 1000 Words ClickI remember that day like it was yesterday. It was June 23, 1995 and oh what a great day it was. It was simply beautiful out on that fine afternoon. The warm summer breeze filled your lungs with every young breath you took. Filling your little nose with smells of elephant ears, roasted nuts, and hot dogs with all that gross stuff mom likes on it. Im pretty sure you had just got off that elephant ride with grandpa, what was it called?...Oh yeah the Dumbo ride. You must have ridden that thing a million times with him! By the looks of it you must have had quite a day because by the time I saw you, you looked pooped. Maybe even, dare I say it, ready for a nap. Boy you really used to hate those. I remember you were determined to stay awake. You didnt want to miss a second of that vacation! The band of three behind you had just packed up their gear before I got there and by the looks on everyones faces they must not have been anything more then your average, we are fifty and we have nothing better to do kind of band. Remember when you met Mickey?! Click. I thought your eyes were going to pop out! He seemed pretty great all except for that vivacious yellow mustard stain on his suit but Im sure you didnt even notice that, ha heck you had enough stains of your own to worry aboutclick. Some time after that we went on that log ride. I swear we waited in line for like three hours. I believe I was freaking out for every second of that three hours. I was petrified of getting even the slightest bit of water on me. Heck I was young too, barely developed let alone ready for a wet and wild adventure like that. Grandma was practically sitting on me to keep me dry. In all honesty, Im glad I went on that ride. That ride gave me a sense of adventure, a sense of danger that I had never felt before. I remember the color of the water as it rushed over the log raft. The water held such gorgeous blue ripples with the purest white rapids. It cascaded down our mountain of doom with such vivid contrast from the

Bonds-Torres 3 luscious deep green grass on both sides. Quite a beautiful site how could anyone not take it in?...click. The sun had started to go down creating a warm auburn glow that covered the entire theme park. You slept in that lively blue rented stroller for a good hour or so while everyone took a break from walking click flash. Everyone said you were just the cutest thing they had ever seenclick flash. I dont even want to try to remember how many people asked to touch your beautiful curly hair. You finally woke up after your sleeping beauty like slumber, kissed by the sound a distant drum or trumpet, I dont know. All I remember is that I couldnt believe it when I saw it. The most beautiful display of light like and explosion of joy exposed in an array of colors and hue. It was the most magnificent thing I had ever seen. One after the other the lights erupted from floats and outfits. Your eyes sparkled in delightclick flash. Wow, you said in amazement, and I in awe as well. We were there together both stunned by the beauty of the colors before us. You seemed to know each waiving character as they smiled at you with great recognition. Up onto grandpas wide sturdy shoulders you went while I stayed in the back of the stroller. Im sure you had an even better view as you held onto grandpa but I was content with where I was. I had never been exposed to such light before, something that I could have only dreamt of. And in a flash, just as swiftly as it beganit ended. Your eyes still wide and your pupils still dilated. What a show?! Off we started towards the front of the park. You dragged you feet in great disgust as your little sandals left light scuffs on the sidewalk behind you. Cant we stay longer, you asked already knowing the answer before even opening your mouth. What a long, beautiful, and exciting day it had been. I remember you looked down at the ground sad that the show was all

Bonds-Torres 4 over. Though there wasnt much light and the night was drawing to a close, the sky was just as ready for bed as you werenot at all! A shimmer of light caught your peripherals charming you to lift your head. As you peered up at the sky your face exploded with great joy once more. The moon and stars seamed to put on a rivaling show of their own. A show so natural and beautiful it put the earlier lights to shame. You tried to take a pictureclick. But the moon just didnt seem as bright. And the stars click. They didnt seem to dance like they did in real life. That little camera tried its best to capture the moment, but it was at a loss. I remember this day so clearly and I truly hope that every time that you see me you remember that day. I hope that when you look at me those joyous feelings come back, those careless weightless feelings. I hope that every time you look at me your eyes light up like they did when you saw the skies vast landscape that night. I hope that when you see me you smile like you did that day and you remember the smells of deep fried joy and candy coated happiness. That was a great time in your life and all Ive ever wanted to do is bring it back to you. I am a memory, I am a picture, and I was made for you.

Deep Sleep So there I was in a hot air balloon. Looking down on the small blurry world like a king of his castle. Little specks moved around like pepper in a boiling pot of soup. I could see the wind as it moved my clothes and propelled my floating throne further and further. I simply could not feel the wind but it didnt matter I was happy. No matter how far my balloon drifted I never felt a sense of fear. Drip drip I feel a cold liquid touch my leg. Oh oops, Im so sorry, blurted out by the girl at the bar beside me. I wiped my leg not really looking at it. She was pretty, I think. The rest

Bonds-Torres 5 of the room in a deep haze I tried to get a good look at her but I couldnt really focus. Her face reminded me of well a lot of girls Ive met. Ouch my arm! What an odd sensation. First of all I can not believe that I am this close to a gorilla let alone close enough for him to be squeezing my arm. What happened? I must have gone in for a handshake. My arm tingles like a million ants crawling all over it occasionally bighting. Thats when the zookeeper came in. Stop, dont let him do that! She exclaimed but seemed to be yelling at the gorilla while it looked like she was pointing the tranquilizer at me! I dont know anything about tranquilizers but that looks just like Matt and Joshs paintball gun. I forgot all about that thing. It was red on the top and shiny silver on the end. I dont think I ever got a chance to shoot it though. Man I used to go over to their house everyday! The beautiful warm summer breeze caresses my face. Summer, ahh just like I remember her. I dribble the ball from my hand to the sun heated cement beneath my bare feet. I shoot and swoosh! Oh that sound of the swoosh I cant ever forget. Matt and Josh both high five me as we enter the house. Thank God we finished our homework early, Matt said bubbling with excitement. We found ourselves in the basement jamming on ancient instruments and chowing down on Doritos for hours. But, we somehow where not in their basement I think it was minemore of a mix of mine and my Grandmas but it just felt right. What are my little siblings doing here? I think thats them. I was sitting outside the hotel we stayed at when I was like five. The Don Cesar, thats what it was called. Such a beautiful beach with sand like crystals. The littles couldnt have even been born by then yet but whatever. I just want some ice cream. Alright ice cream, and the blue moon kind I wanted too! I lick it and can taste it but for some reason it isnt cold. Oh my goodness, there is a shark in the water! No worse its a lion crawling out of the ocean with great intention. As beautiful it looks it

Bonds-Torres 6 is still terrifying as well. He is going straight towards little Elli! I ran towards her to protect her but I was scared to the core! He looked right at me and I new I was going to have to run. I ran as fast as I could but it felt like my legs were in quick sand. They werent sinking in the sand but they felt so heavy. There was no way I was getting away fast enough! The ferocious beast finally caught up to. He stood before me with magnificence. Majestic yet terrifying in the same, he lunged towards me and I jerked back. He was too quick for me and with a great bite clamped down on my arm. Grinding his teeth all the way up from my fingertips to my elbow. He never opened his mouth but I guessed his teeth were clean. My arm hurt on and off. It felt more like fire ants crawling on and biting it this time. But that pain would be relieved by a tickling sensation. With a lion gnawing on my arm as I stood there I began to hear music coming from the food bar down the beach. It was a short little jingle that kept repeating. A jingle that I knew but couldnt remember from where. It was getting louder now but I wasnt sure why Ahh turn off the alarm, I hate that song. Man my arm is killing me! I roll over, lines from my shirt imprinted across my arm all the way down from my elbow to my fingertips... I stand up and look at the blurry ground beneath my feet. My scattered clothes hazy and sporadic and almost seem as if they are movinglike ants. I go to the kitchen for breakfast to find that I left last nights soup out. Little specks of black pepper float across the top of the pot wait.

Bonds-Torres 7 Deric Bonds-Torres Professor Whiteacre ENG 285-10 November 6, 2013

Revision Response Essay My fiction sample entitled Why Pretend had a comedic feel to it. It was created as a stream of consciousness. This stream of consciousness was from the perspective of a questioning confused penguin. Everyone said that there really wasnt anything they would change about it. It seemed to be the right length. Any longer and it would get bland. It had just the right amount of information to keep the reader question while fully resolving in the end. Many seemed to like the end how it played on the idea that it obvious was a human writing the piece pretending to be a penguin. I wrote A Picture Says 1000 Words from the prospective of a photograph taken of me on vacation at Disney World. I wanted the picture to drop hints for the reader to understand who was talking. I assumed by the title people would understand what was happening. I was a bit unsure if the readers would understand if I completely personified the photograph so I tried to give my picture limited senses. I hoped to give it only sight but. I also wanted to make the picture seem sensitive to sight and extremely observant. Each time I wrote the word click I wanted that to signify a new picture, however the narrator stayed as the original picture. I tried to make the overall feel of the piece happy but I also wanted it to be evident that a picture cant always capture everything but it so badly longs to.

Bonds-Torres 8 The third and final piece entitled Deep Sleep was a narrators stream of consciousness as he is in a dream. I used different tenses to try to resemble the way you feel in a dream, where you really dont have much of a concept of time and space. For some reason while youre in a dream a lack of physics or time and doesnt really seem to throw you off most of the time. Maybe this is a personal thing but many times when I am in a dream faces are never definite but I somehow usually who it is in my dream with me. I tried to portray when I talked about the pretty girl in the first portion of the dream that seemed to have a face that was a sum of all the girls faces I have seen before. I separated each portion of the dream with a paragraph break but I considered making the entire thing one long stanza much like how in a dream everything just kind of runs together. I wanted to better tie the ending together with the beginning as the narrator figures out that he just had a dream due to his subconscious collecting his real life surroundings but I couldnt seem to think of a way clever enough to satisfy my longing for a twist in the ended. So I feel like I kind of settled for a less dramatic ending but I still like it none the less.