SELF-ANALYSIS PROFILE

Marco D. Meduranda
EDCO 202

CHILDHOOD

I was born on October 24, 1985. I am the eldest

son of my parents and the third in ordinal position in a

family with six children.

Adler’s birth order theory would put me as the

middle child. Though I’m not very assertive, I tend to

Baby Marco together with Ate Cherrie become quite competitive, constantly trying to surpass

my other siblings in terms of achievement in studies and even in attention to my

parents. My excelling in school perhaps can be my way of asserting myself.

My childhood was marked with my strong attachment to my mother. To cite

Sullivan’s theory, I was nurtured by a “good nipple”. Her caring and warm affection

shaped my personality, and in fact, I looked up to her as my role model in terms of

character. Though mom is very affectionate, she knew how to demand discipline. She’s

strict but humane. She would spank us whenever we were committing misbehavior but

would later cuddle us only to talk about to us why she used force in making us realize

our wrong doing. Further, her consistent and sensitive care

and protection to me during my early years have had

developed in me a sense of confidence and optimism. I can

link this with Erickson’s first psychosocial stage (trust vs.

mistrust) where, in my case, basic trust was clearly I was strongly attached to
my Mom
established. Her love and support truly laid a solid foundation to my personality and the

good values she instilled in me shaped my character.

 My mom’s admonitions, teachings and moral ideas mostly

constitute my superego. Though sometimes, they greatly cause

me anxiety, giving me guilt and self-condemnation whenever I

make decisions that run counter to it, I am still thankful because

nevertheless I would never go wrong if my decisions are in

consonance with what she taught me.

In addition, my mom would say that I was a witty, smart and “hyper” kid when I

was a toddler. She would say that when I was four I could already memorized the

schedule of shows in channel two (we’re Kapamilya…) When I turned six, I got asthma

and other respiratory illness. I became much closer to her because she would really

keep an eye on me due to my fragile health. Perhaps, I developed this fixation termed

by Freud as phallic personality. As a consequence, I develop quite an opinion on

myself and perhaps also the reason why I appear effeminate.

When it comes to my father, I can say that he had also

influenced my personality. Indeed, he was a good provider. I truly

admired his sense of responsibility and dedication to his work.

However, like other typical Filipino father, he was quite

unemotional and insensible. Somehow, during my early childhood,

I experienced what Freud termed as Oedipus complex.

I admired dad’s sense of
responsibility.
According to Freud, fixation at this stage would lead to feelings of

guilt over success. I also read that in order to resolve this conflict, the child would

employ the process called identification with the aggressor. As I analyze myself, I

find out that the reason perhaps why I always seek success in all my endeavors

especially in work is that somehow I am identifying with my father.

 Regarding the influence of the place

where I was brought up to my personality, I

want to point out that I was raised in a

suburban environment, Malabon, where

incidence of flooding is a usual occurrence

even if it’s not raining due to high tide and to

the fact that the land is very much below sea level. I can say that the place somehow

also shape my “mental toughness”. I can associate this idea to Bandura’s reciprocal

determinism where personal and environmental factors continuously affect one

another. I have seen how people still managed to continue with their lives even if the

flood is as high as their waist. Flood can be an

inconvenience but people in our community don’t see it

as major encumbrance. Through observational

learning, I was able to acquire a coping mindset towards

any problem; that like flood, problems are just natural

occurrence and they would eventually subside, or be

resolved. Further, I can connect this with Lewin’s

personality formula which postulates that one’s behavior

is the function of the person in interaction with the

environment.

ADOLESCENCE
The stage of adolescence to me was marked by a lot of crisis. My father died

when I was 13 because of diabetes. Consequently, I experienced the most difficult times
in my life during this period because we were confronted by poverty. I saw my mom

working very hard to make both ends meet for us. She got preoccupied with direct

selling in order to bring food on the table. For the first time, I saw my grades drop

because of absenteeism and my inability to pass projects and requirements. That was

the time, I was labeled an underachiever.

The interplay of these difficult situations affected my personality. It was the time I

began to feel small. Though I was confident and self-assured when I was a child, I

started to feel “disliked”. I had a rough time establishing my ego identity. For quite

sometime I thought, I experienced what Erikson termed as a sense of artificiality. I

tried to fit in but I felt my peers were not true to me. In addition, my being a late bloomer

became the butt of jokes among my peers. I experienced what Adler called as organ

inferiority.

I began to feel the neurotic needs for personal admiration, individual

achievement and social recognition. I thought that in order to deal with these anxieties I

did what Horney dubbed as moving towards people where I protected myself by

overtures of affection, dependency and submission to others.

My high school days were marked by a lot of crisis…

 This was also the stage when I began seeking broader relatedness and

rootedness as what Fromm stated in his five human needs. Though at this time I tried

to desperately conform to some of my peers in order to acquire that sense of

belongingness, it was the start of my journey to individuation. Towards the end of my

high school life, I realized my absurdity.

I gained a greater understanding of life when I started accompanying my mother

to sell bargain clothes on the sidewalks of Grace Park Caloocan. This was the business

scheme that sent us, her children, to college. Mom made us experience the difficult

reality of life and helped us realize that we got to be determined and hard working in

order to achieve what we envision in our lives. I became more matured as I deal with

different kinds of people. The side streets became a window to reality for me. Having

been a sidewalk vendor for four years truly defined and modified my construct system.

I acquired a better measure of authenticity when I entered college. I took the

course that I really liked which was BS Education. Here I became a student leader and

a scholar. Whenever I had no class, I exploited the

opportunity to read books and explore the wealth of

wisdom available in the library. By reading, I became

cognizant on the collective unconscious of the ages

and by deeper reflection I learned how to improve my

way of thinking and construing the world around me. I

got especially interested to the works of Deepak Chopra,

Shakti Gawain, Martin Seligman, Norman Vincent Peale

College activities like this community
outreach in Zambales broadened my
and Wayne Dyer. In college, I was also able to gain a horizon and helped me realize what
Rogers termed as my ideal-self.

handful of very good friends who somehow satisfied my

needs for self-respect and esteem. Furthermore, in this stage I gained a better grasp

on seeking self-enhancement through the choosing of goal in life which is termed by

Allport as propriate striving. With this, I graduated with flying colors and realized my

self-fulfilling prophecy which is delivering a valedictory address that would honor my

mom.

ADULTHOOD

I initially worked as a call

center agent because of my desire

to be handsomely paid. However, I

didn’t find the job fulfilling and I felt

that the classrooms were calling

me. And so when my former

professor phoned me to teach in

Teaching is my calling and I’m happy I heed the call.
the public school where she was

the principal, I immediately grabbed the position even if the salary is lower compared to

what I used to get as an agent. After one year, I was able to get a permanent teaching

position. Consequently, I gained what

Allport identified as functional autonomy,

where in my case; teaching became my

valued end. In its own right, being a

teacher became my personal source of

pleasure and motivation. I was able to

influence and touch lives and at the same

Winning competitions are highlights in my teaching
time established myself
career. as an excellent humanistic high school teacher. In fact, I
experience what Maslow called as peak performance or optimal human experiencing

whenever the students I handle attain success like winning in competitions or attaining

excellent or improved academic performance. Though teaching in public school is not

easy, with 80 students per a class, I learned how to employ the transactional analysis

of Eric Berne in order to foster better interpersonal relationship with my students as well

as my colleagues. Still, despite the fact that public school teachers were seemed to be

overworked and underpaid, I chose to stay in the system, make a difference to the life of

my students, establish a positive teacher persona, and perhaps, eventually, “mine my

own acres of diamond.”

Just last May 5, 2009, I experienced the

greatest pain a person can endure: the death of a

loved one. Mom died because of colon cancer. It

was a six-month ordeal that dramatically changed

my perspective in life.

My mom was the only person who gave me

I will perpetually miss mom.

unconditional positive regard. She was taken away from us in the point when she

would begin to reap the fruits of her labors. Though somehow I have accepted her

passing, I will perpetually miss her.

Her death touched me spiritually. It brought me a lot of lessons and realizations. I

became more in tune with my experience. I learned to develop in me a more meaningful

relation to my Creator, to my Lord and Savior. Hence, I learned to pray. I also learned to

think, speak and act in the direction of truth and love. I learned that suffering is essential

for one to understand and appreciate the real essence of life. I learned to value people.
I learned to be kind to myself whenever I commit blunders. And ultimately, I learned to

live.

FINAL REFLECTIONS

I view my life as a wonderful journey. The experience

along the way is more important than the destination. Truly, I

regard myself as an imperfect, growing, self-actualizing,

spiritual organism. My relationship to my loved ones, my

dedication to work, my deep passion to learn more about life,

and my tireless effort to be the best that I can be are facets of

my personality.

Like others, I have flaws, neurotic needs, fixations, regrets, repressed desires,

and frustrations. However, I choose to emphasize and cultivate the “good me”; the same

thing when I highlight the positive among my students, friends, colleagues and loved

ones. I choose to be a blessing to others. I choose to be a simple person with big

dreams. I choose to live every moment of my life. I choose to enjoy my every waking

hour. I choose to adopt the idea that when my journey ends, the One waiting at the

finished line will say, JOB WELL DONE.

I choose to emphasize and cultivate the “good me”.

SELF-ANALYSIS
PROFILE
EDCO 202

Marco D. Meduranda

College of Education
University of the Philippines