Ankiza by Gloria L. Velasquez

Ankiza
BOOKS IN The Roosevelt High School Series
Juanita Fights the School Board Mayas Divided World Rinas Family Secret Rudys Memory Walk Teen Angel Tommy Stands Alone Tyrones Betrayal
Ankiza
The Roosevelt High School Series
Gloria L. Velsquez
PIATA BOOKS ARTE PBLICO PRESS HOUSTON, TEXAS
Ankiza is made possible through grants from the National Endowment for the Arts (a federal agency), Andrew W. Mellon Foundation, the Lila Wallace Readers Digest Fund and the City of Houston through the Houston Arts Alliance. Piata Books are full of surprises! Arte Pblico Press University of Houston 452 Cullen Performance Hall Houston, Texas 77204-2004 Cover illustration and design by Vega Design Group
Velsquez, Gloria L. Ankiza / by Gloria L. Velsquez. p. cm. (The Roosevelt High School series) Summary: When she begins dating a wealthy white senior, Ankiza must face the reactions and prejudices of other students, parents, and school officials. ISBN 978-1-55885-308-9 (clothbound : alk. paper) ISBN 978-1-55885-309-6 (paperback : alk. paper) [1. Interracial datingFiction. 2. PrejudicesFiction. 3. Afro-AmericansFiction. 4. High schoolsFiction. 5. SchoolsFiction.] I. Title. PZ7.V488 An 2000 [Fic]dc21 00-041697 CIP
The paper used in this publication meets the requirements of the American National Standard for Information SciencesPermanence of Paper for Printed Library Materials, ANSI Z39.48-1984.
2000 by Gloria L. Velsquez Printed in the United States of America October 2009November 2009 Cushing-Malloy, Inc., Ann Arbor, MI 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3
In Memory of Dr. Marilyn Fife

who dreamed of a world where the North Philly Genius and the kids of Roosevelt High could have all their own dreams come true 1948-1992
Ankiza
At Boo Boo Records, I walk straight to the counter and ask the clerk with the Elvis Presley haircut if he has the new CD of Bob Marleys greatest hits. Revealing a set of perfect white teeth, the clean-cut looking guy smiles at me as he points toward the Jazz section at the back of the room. I glance quickly at his name tag, thinking it might read Elvis or Dion, but it doesnt. It simply reads Joe. As I make my way through aisles of music, I daydream about all the latest CDs, wishing I had more money to spend. Youd think my family was poor the way Dad insists on giving me a meager forty-dollar allowance each month. If it werent for the money I earn from babysitting, Id never be able to buy anything. Then Id really be poor like my friend, Juanita, whose parents work in the fields and cant even afford to give her an allowance. The Reggae section is against the back wall next to the jazz music. After I spend a few minutes examining the newest reggae groups, I move over to the Bob Marley section. Im about to reach up for The Best of Bob Marley,
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when an obtrusive arm reaches over and grabs the only copy left on the shelf. Startled, I release a loud exasperated sigh. Just then, an unfamiliar voice says, Oh, sorry. Hope you werent looking for this one too. I turn around slowly and stare in bewilderment at the handsome stranger whose musical taste matches my own. Youre Mayas friend, arent you? he asks as I gaze into his aqua-blue eyes. I nod, suddenly feeling awkward and clumsy. Ive seen you with her at lunchtime. My names Hunter. Hunter Bianchi. I know Maya from tennis. Im on Roosevelts varsity tennis team. I dont respond. Instead, I spin back around to scan the shelves one more time, hoping to find another CD like the one that was just stolen from me. Dont bother wasting your time. Its the last one, Hunter says. Then he reaches into his jean pocket and takes out a coin, adding, Why dont we flip for it. Heads, you win the CD. Tails, you lose. There is something very persuasive about Hunter and I cant help but nod helplessly as he tosses the coin up in the air and catches it. Sorry, you lose, he whispers, frowning. Dont worry about it, I say, taking off back in the direction of the entrance. A few minutes later, Im heading toward the center of the mall, when I feel someone tap me on the shoulder. The least you can do is let me treat you to a Coke, Hunter
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insists, coming up next to me. What did you say your name was? Ankiza, I repeat, slightly irritated by his persistence. Thats a beautiful name, Hunter says. Then, as we approach the snack bar area, he adds, Well, how about it? Will you have a Coke with me? I hesitate for a moment, but Hunters smile wins me over and I find myself walking up to Bimbos snack bar with him. While we order our drinks, I notice that he is several inches taller than me. Im pleased by this since most of the time Im the tallest one in the group. As I sit next to Hunter at one of the small tables in front of Bimbos, Im aware of people turning to stare at us. Youd think theyd never seen an African-American girl with a white guy. But I guess in a small town like Laguna, it doesnt happen that often. Now, tell me where you got your name, Hunter insists, scrutinizing me with those piercing blue eyes that remind me of a seascape I once saw in an art book. Its African, I begin. When my Dad was in medical school at UCLA, his best friend was from Tanzania and his wifes name was Ankiza. After they graduated, Dad never wanted to forget his friends, so when I was born, he named me Ankiza. What a great story. So your Dads a doctor? Yeah, havent you heard? Dads the only AfricanAmerican doctor in Laguna.
Thats awesome, Hunter says with a half-smile. I notice that he has a small dimple on his right cheek. Yeah, but hes gone a lot. Sos my dad, Hunter sighs. Hes an investment banker and he travels all the time. Do you live around here? I nod reluctantly. I dont know why but Hunters question is making me very uneasy. Unable to conceal my nervousness, I glance at my Mickey Mouse wristwatch. I better go, I say, standing up to leave. Thanks for the Coke. When Hunter offers to give me a ride home, I politely tell him no. As I turn to walk away, Hunter calls out, Bye, Ankiza. See you at school tomorrow! rrr The city bus drops me off a few blocks from my house, which is located in the Laguna Hills area. A professional neighborhood, Laguna Hills is made up of some of the most expensive two-and three-story homes. There is a beautiful canyon and green rolling hills behind them with a breathtaking view of the city. But the best thing about living in this neighborhood is that my best friend, Maya, lives only a few streets away from me. Other than that, Laguna Hills is kind of sterile, almost like a hospital. I remember when we first moved here from Los Angeles and how much I hated it cause we were the only people of color in this area. But since then, a few more African-Americans and
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Chicanos have moved into Laguna Hills, so I guess its not so bad anymore. As soon as I open the front door, Mom calls out for me to join her and my four-year-old sister in the family room. Kicking off my shoes, I race upstairs into the kitchen, where I grab a handful of Oreos from the Oscar-theGrouch cookie jar. Then I go into the family room where I find Mom on the couch reading a magazine while Athena watches Sesame Street. Hey, Muffin, I greet Athena, plopping down on the love seat next to her. Theyre learning how to count in Spanish today, Mom says as I glance at Big Bird, who is talking with the Cookie Monster. Athena turns to look at me, saying Watch, Ankiza. Then she holds up her chubby little fingers and repeats, Uno, dos, tres, cinco. Mom, who speaks perfect Spanish, corrects her, but Athena ignores her, turning her attention back to the argument between Oscar the Grouch and Big Bird. Mom smiles, then asks me about my day, and I shrug, telling her it was boring. Then I stuff another cookie in my mouth and ask what time Dad is getting home. Mom frowns. He was called to the hospital for an emergency and you know how that goes. I give Mom a look that I hope shows my sympathy. Ill never understand how she does it, married to a doctor. I know I couldnt. It would be awful being married to some-
one whos gone so much. But I guess its cause she really loves Dad. And he loves her too. Did you and Maya have fun at the mall? Mom asks, interrupting my thoughts. Maya couldnt make it. She had a dentist appointment. Oh, thats too bad, Mom sighs, her green eyes narrowing. Looking at Mom, I think back to the day Maya first came to the house and was shocked to find out my stepmom was a cream-colored Chicana who spoke Spanish. It wasnt until later that I explained to Maya that Dad and my real mother had divorced when I was a little girl and that he had met my step-mom when they were students at UCLA. Then, Maya wanted to know how often I visited my real mother and I told her I hadnt seen her since the divorce and hardly remembered her at all. But Dads always saying that Im tall and beautiful, like my real mother when she was my age. Athena looks just like my step-mom. She has the same light skin and green eyes, while Im darker with long frizzy hair. Most of the time, people dont believe Athena and I are sisters, but I try not to let it bother me. Well, I guess I better do my homework, I manage to get out while swallowing my last bit of cookie. Mom nods sympathetically, reminding me that tonight is leftover lasagna night. As I leave the room, I tug on one of Athenas pigtails, but shes still too involved with Sesame Street to pay me any attention.
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I think about how lucky my sister and I are to have our bedrooms away from both the family room and my parents bedroom. I like the privacy this gives me. My parents can get on my nerves sometimes, especially on weekends. In my room, I pause in front of the full-length mirror on my closet door to gaze at my reflection. Sometimes I wish I werent so tall, but then again, Mayas always saying I could pass for one of the models in Seventeen. Once I asked Dad where I got my small nose and lips from, and he said that it was probably from my real mother, who has Native American ancestry in her family. Still, I cant help but wish I were thin like Maya. But then again, Maya insists the reason the guys always whistle at me is cause of my long legs and big boobs. As I plop down on my bed to start my homework, I think about meeting Hunter at the Town & Country Mall. I smile to myself as I remember the way he kept staring at me. I wonder if he thinks Im beautiful.
Ankiza
The next morning, Im surprised to find Dad at the kitchen table having breakfast with Mom and Athena. Hes wearing a bright yellow Polo shirt with matching shorts, which means hes off to the golf course. Good morning, Princess, Dad greets me as I help myself to a bowl of cereal. I grimace when I hear the nickname Princess. This always makes me feel like Im ten years old. But Dad is quick to apologize, Sorry, I forgot you dont like to be called Princess anymore. Thanks, Dad, I reply, taking a seat next to Athena, who is busy removing soggy alphabet letters from her cereal. When Athena proudly hands me the letter A, Mom reminds her that its time to eat and not play or shell be late for school. Frowning, Athena manages to take several slurps from her cereal, but not before she hands me two more letters. I smile, wondering if I was that poky an eater when I was her age.
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Hows the new semester coming along? Dad asks, looking directly at me. Real good, I answer. Mayas always telling me how Dad reminds her of the actor Sidney Poitier. When I told Dad what Maya said, he just laughed. But I think Mayas right. Dad does resemble a movie star with his finely sculpted African features and those majestic eyes that seem endless like the evening sky. Golf today? I ask Dad. He nods, explaining how much he needs to relax after having spent a long evening at the hospital. When Mom gives Dad an understanding look, I think back to our first few years in Laguna. Dad worked as an emergency room doctor at Laguna Hospital and he had the weirdest schedule. But now hes an internal medicine specialist and he has his own practice in a small clinic with two other specialists. Just think, Dad, I blurt out, Maya and I will be seniors in just a few months. I can hardly believe it, Mom sighs. When I first met your Dad, you were in kindergarten. Im in kindergarten! Athena hollers out, milk dripping down the sides of her mouth. Mom and I smile at Athena, and Dad orders her to wipe her mouth and finish the rest of the milk in her bowl. Poor Athena, I think to myself getting up from the table. If theres anything I cant stand, its when my parents try to boss me around. Better go or Ill miss the bus! I say,
grabbing my backpack off the floor. Then I wave good-bye to Athena and head for the stairs. At the bus stop, Maya is talking to a couple of freshman girls whose names I dont even remember. As soon as she sees me, Maya comes over to meet me. Youre just in time, Ankiza, she whispers. Gina and Erin are losing it. All they do is talk about what happened on Sweet Valley High last night. Can you believe it? I smile at Mayas tone of superiority. Now that were almost seniors, she loves to show off with the wimpy freshman. If they only knew what the real world was like, Maya goes on. Then theyd really go nuts. Then, as the school bus pulls up to the curb, Maya tells me, Whatever you do, Ankiza, just dont sit next to them. On the way to Roosevelt High, I want to ask Maya about Hunter, but I never get the chance. Maya cant stop complaining about her dad and how he totally flaked out on buying her the car they had looked at during spring break. He says he cant afford it, that its too expensive. Can you believe it? He said I should work this summer and buy my own car. What a jerk. Sounds like my dad, I mumble. Youd think we were poor or something, Maya says, frowning. I thought parents were supposed to help out with money. And I dont know why Dad makes promises he cant keep.
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By the time the bus drops us off at the school parking lot, Maya has still not exhausted the topic of money and cars. And as we hurry across campus to the main building where our lockers are located, I scan every face I see, hoping that one will be Hunters. But no such luck, so I race to my locker for my books, promising Maya that Ill meet her for lunch. My morning turns out to be pretty boring until I get to Health Education, which is my favorite class. This week were discussing health issues that affect teenagers, like venereal diseases and HIV. Miss Channing, who is one of the youngest teachers at Roosevelt, is good at getting students to open up and talk about sex. She calls on me a lot because she knows one day Id like to go to nursing school. Dad thinks Im crazy for wanting to be a nurse instead of a doctor like him. He says nurses are terribly underpaid and overworked. But, I dont know. It seems like ever since I can remember, Ive dreamt about being like Mary Beth, my pediatricians nurse. I remember when I sprained my arm in second grade. It was Mary Beth who comforted me until I stopped crying. And every time I had to get a shot, Mary Beth would tell me a funny story to get my mind off the pain, and when it was over, shed let me pick a toy from the big wooden chest in the reception room. I dont care what Dad says about nurses, Id still like to be just like Mary Beth. Were having a heated discussion on birth control when the lunch bell rings. As we start to move, Miss Channing
reminds us to read Chapter 8 and finish the questions at the end of the chapter. My stomach is growling by the time I make my way out of the Science building and back to the main quad. Im a few feet away from my locker, when I hear a voice call out to me. Hey, slow down, Hunter says, coming up alongside of me. I wanted to give you something. I can feel my pulse quicken as I pause, turning to look at Hunter. What is it? I ask, doing my best to maintain a steady voice so I dont sound nervous. Hunter places a cassette in my hand. Its a copy of the Bob Marley CD you wanted. Stupefied, I mumble thanks. Hunter insists on following me to my locker, where Maya and Rina are waiting for me. As we approach them, Hunter says, Ankiza, I wanted to ask you something. What? I answer absentmindedly, but just then Hunter pauses to greet Maya and Rina, who havent taken their eyes off of us. I was wondering if youd like to see a movie with me tomorrow night? Hunter says, looking deep into my eyes. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a bemused look on Mayas face. Trying to ignore Hunters question, I abruptly turn my back on him and dial the combination on my locker.
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Well, how about it? Hunter insists. I spin around to look at him and am completely blown away by his radiant smile. Yeah, sure. Why not? I answer with a faint smile in return. Great! Ill pick you up around seven, Hunter calls out as he takes off down the crowded hallway. Before I can react to what has just happened, Rina sarcastically says, Hey, Ankiza, picking up senior guys now? I give her a nasty look and tell her to mind her own business, but Maya quickly stands up for her, warning me that Im being too sensitive. Frustrated, I start to walk away with the two of them at my side. As we leave the building, Rina apologizes, but I shrug her off. After all, everyone knows Rina has the bad habit of sticking her foot in her big mouth. Juanita, or Johnny, as Maya calls her, has joined us by the time we get to the football field, where the rest of our friends are waiting to have lunch with us. Rina and I take a seat on the bleachers next to Tommy. Maya and Juanita sit down one row below, with Tyrone and Rudy. Juanita gets the conversation going by complaining about Celia, her younger sister who is in the ninth grade. According to Juanita, Celia is driving her parents crazy about dating. Dad still wont let me date, and Celia thinks hes gonna let her do it? Shes loca, Juanita says in an exasperated tone.
Maya and I exchange a quick glance, realizing how lucky we are not to have such strict parents. Then Rina changes the subject by saying, Guess who Ankiza has a hot date with on Saturday? A burning sensation starts to creep up the base of my neck as Tommy and Tyrone teasingly rattle off names of geeky-looking guys. When Rina finally blurts out Hunters name, a hostile look appears on Tyrones face. Youre kidding, right? he asks, his obsidian eyes digging into me. Im painfully aware that everyone is waiting for my response, and Im determined not to back down. And what if Im not? Its none of your business, anyway. Tyrones anger intensifies. You prefer white guys now, or what? Cut it out, Ty, Maya interrupts. Ankiza can date anyone she wants. Rudy lets out a dry, sarcastic laugh. Yeah, even poor little rich boys! Tommy glares at Rudy, warning him to shut up and leave me alone. By now, Im so embarrassed that I want to break into tears, but Maya comes to my rescue. She mentions how her dad flaked out on buying her a car. Then Rudy brags about how his dad is going to sell him their old junker as soon as he can get a new one. I start to relax as the conversation turns to cars and everyone forgets about my date with Hunter.
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After lunch, we hurry back to the main building. I try not to let it bother me that Tyrone avoids walking next to me. After all, he doesnt run my life, and just because Im African-American doesnt mean I cant date whoever I want. On the way home after school, Maya asks me how I know Hunter. I start to tell her about meeting him at Boo Boo Records, but just then, I hear a few giggles behind me and turn around to glare at Gina and Erin. They smile sweetly at me as if I havent caught them eavesdropping. Frowning, I turn back to Maya, who agrees with me that its better to finish my story on the phone, since there isnt any privacy on the school bus. As soon as I walk in the front door, I go downstairs to my room, where I spend the next hour going through all the clothes in my closet. Unsure of what to wear on my first date with Hunter, I remember how Mom is always saying that bright colors make my dark skin glow, so I settle on a red skirt with a matching knit top. At dinnertime, Athena keeps asking me one question after another until I finally snap at her. Surprised, Mom asks me if anything is wrong, but I reluctantly explain that I have a lot of things on my mind. Then she reminds me that were having dinner at the Marshalls tomorrow night. YeahI get to play with Jamie! Athena shouts, waving her fork wildly in the air until Mom scolds her and orders her to finish eating. Making the saddest face, Athena pokes her fork into a green bean, and it instantly reminds
me of how much I hated eating vegetables when I was her age. I smile at Athena, giving her a look of sympathy. Then I turn my attention back to Mom. I cant go to the Marshalls. I have a date, I explain. Oh. Thats nice, Mom says, raising her left eyebrow slightly. Shes quiet for a few moments while she waits for me to give her more details, but I dont say anything. Finally, Mom asks for my dates name. I shrug my shoulders and say, Oh, just some guy I know. Then, before she has time to ask any more questions, I push my chair back, insisting I have loads of homework. Back in my room, I lie on my bed daydreaming about Hunter until Athena comes in and begs me to play a game with her. When I finally agree, she disappears happily and returns a few minutes later with not just one game, but two. Now Ill never get rid of her!
Ankiza
On Saturday, I spend most of the day in my room stressing over my date with Hunter. After all, its the first time Ive agreed to date someone who isnt African-American or Chicano, so Im not really sure what to expect. Its bad enough that my own friends are already acting weird about it. At six-thirty, Dad pokes his head in my room to ask what time my date is coming to pick me up. When he sees me, Dad frowns and asks me if I dont think my skirts a bit too short. I remind him that this is the style now, but the look on his face tells me that hes not convinced. As he turns to leave, Dad reminds me to make sure I introduce my date to him and Mom. I nod, relieved that he hasnt quizzed me about Hunter. Nervous, I start to fuss with the small barrette at the back of my head which holds a small portion of my hair. Sometimes my long frizzy hair frustrates me. Its so thick and wavy that I have to gel it down to keep it from flying all over my face. When I was in junior high, I used to spend hours ironing it so that it could be straight and flat, but now,
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I wear it naturally. Maya says people would die for my hair. Shes always complaining because her hair is thin and straight. Indian hair is what she calls it. At the sound of the doorbell, I slip on my red sandals and hurry downstairs. When I open the front door, Hunter is standing on the front steps wearing a bright blue shirt that makes his eyes appear even bluer than the ocean. For you, Hunter says, handing me a single red rose. I whisper thank you and invite him upstairs to meet my parents. As we walk into the family room, Dad, who is on the couch next to Athena, glances up at us. I cant help but notice the quizzical expression on his face. Dad, I begin. This is Hunter, Hunter Bianchi. When Dad stands up to shake Hunters hand, Im aware of a slight fluttering in the pit of my stomach. Just then, Mom comes into the room and she greets Hunter warmly. I can feel Dad scrutinizing him as we sit down on the love seat next to each other. Hunter smiles at Athena, who hasnt taken her eyes off of him for a minute. When he asks what her name is, Athena shyly repeats her name. Hunter says, Thats a beautiful name. Athenas face breaks into a smile, and I know that Hunter has her instant approval. Clearing his voice, Dad leans back on the couch and says, Bianchi, that name sounds familiar. After a second or two, he adds, Any relation to Bianchi Vineyards?
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Dad, stop being so nosy, I repeat, exchanging a look of embarrassment with Mom. But Hunter, who is unnerved by Dads question, explains that Bianchi Vineyards was founded by his paternal grandfather, who came from the Italian province of Tuscany and settled here to raise grapes. Hunter goes on to say that his grandfather has retired, and one of his uncles now runs the family business. When Hunter finishes, Dad makes a point of praising the wines that are produced by Bianchi Vineyards. Then Mom tells Hunter that he doesnt look Italian. Hunter doesnt seem offended. Instead, he grins and politely explains that he has Dutch ancestry from his mothers side of the family. Athena interrupts, asking what Dutch means and Hunter tells her a little about the Dutch language and culture. Next, Dad asks Hunter what his plans are after graduation. Mom and I exchange a quick look while Hunter explains that hes been accepted at Stanford University. When Dad states that Stanford is an excellent choice, Hunter says hes expected to go there since its his dads alma mater. The next thing I know, Dad is asking Hunter what line of business his dad is in, and I start to feel even more embarrassed. With all of Dads questions, youd think Hunter and I were planning on getting married instead of going out on a simple date. As soon as Hunter is finished talking about his dads banking business, I stand up, saying that we have to go or well be late for the movie. Hunter politely shakes Dads
hand before we leave, saying good-bye to Mom and Athena who smiles up at him timidly. On the way downtown, I apologize for Dads obnoxious behavior, but Hunter pats me on the hand, saying, Dont sweat it, Ankiza. Id act the same way if I had a daughter as beautiful as you. I smile back at Hunter, pleased by his answer. We find a parking space directly across from the Rialto Theater and then hurry over to buy our tickets. After we get a couple of Cokes at the snack bar, we go into the theater. All the lights are still on, and Im aware of people staring as we take a couple of seats in the third row. When the movie begins, Hunter reaches behind me and gently puts his arm around me. A tingling sensation filters through my body, and Im glad that the movie is a silly comedy because Im unable to concentrate. After the movie ends, Hunter takes my hand and we head out with the rest of the crowd. Then Hunter invites me for some pizza and we walk three blocks to the pizza parlor on Main Street. As we go inside and stand in line to order, a few heads turn to look at us, but I pretend not to notice. When its finally our turn to order, the chubby redhead behind the counter takes Hunters order. Then she turns to me and says, And what would you like to order? With a sharp look, Hunter politely informs the redheaded waitress that were together and she mumbles, Sorry. Hunter looks at me apologetically. I want to say something but I dont. After all, what did he expect?
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We find an empty booth and as soon as we sit down, Hunter starts to talk about the movie. Wasnt Jim Carrey hilarious? he asks. Yeah, I really liked the part where he dresses up like a nun. Yeah, me too. Theres a slight pause. Then Hunter says, So how long have you been a Bob Marley fan? Forever. How about you? One of my friends turned me on to Bob Marley when I was in junior high, and ever since then, Ive been crazy about reggae. Just then, the pizza arrives and we forget all about music. After about the third slice, I confess that Im stuffed, and Hunter teases me about being on a diet. When I reply that I think its stupid that girls think they have to be anorexic-looking to be liked, Hunter nods in agreement. Hunter is biting into his last slice of pizza when a guy with a blond crew-cut approaches our booth. There is a tall thin girl on each side of him hanging on tightly to each arm. Whats up, Hunter? he says. Hi, Mike. The two perfect-looking Barbie dolls also greet Hunter, who takes a few moments to introduce me to Mike, Tara and Michelle. The girls both flash me a plastic smile and quickly turn their attention back to Hunter. In a coy voice, Tara says, Hunter, were having a party at the clubhouse next Friday. Hope you can make it.
Oblivious to Taras flirty behavior, Hunter looks at me and says, Sure. Maybe Ankiza will come with me? Embarrassed, I dont reply, hoping that Tara or one of her friends will extend the invitation to me, but they dont. Instead, Michelle speaks up to say that the party will begin around eight oclock. Tara gives Hunter another flirty look, and Hunter turns back to me and asks if I have plans on Friday night. Before I have time to answer, Mike interrupts to ask Hunter if he wants to play tennis with him in the morning. Im instantly relieved when they all start talking about tennis. After Mike and the two Barbies leave, Hunter tells me, Im sorry they acted so rude, Ankiza. Theyre not always like that. Its all right, Hunter, I reply, trying to hide the hurt in my voice. Lots of people act like they think were invisible. Reaching across the booth, Hunter places his hand on mine. Ankiza, I hope you know Im not like that. His eyes are fastened on me now, and I can feel my pulse quicken. I hesitate, then say, Can I ask you something? Sure, go right ahead. How come you asked me out? Were you just curious about what its like to date a black girl? Im aware my question bothers Hunter because a slight flush appears on his face and he wrinkles his left eyebrow. Leaning forward, he says, Ankiza, I asked you out because I like you, because I wanted to get to know you,
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thats why. It has nothing to do with your being AfricanAmerican. When I dont respond, Hunter adds, Do you think Im that shallow and superficial? Hunters bright blue eyes are boring into me, and I find myself apologizing to him. Im sorry, Hunter. I know youre not like that at all. Its just, well, theres so many people who think like that at Roosevelt. I know there are, but Im not one of them. And not everyone is narrow-minded like Tara and Michelle. Theres some really good people at school like Kim Marsh. Do you know her? No, but Maya does. She says Kims cool. Yeah, she is and so am I, Hunter says squeezing my hand.
rrr
Later, when Hunter walks me to the front door, he tells me that he had a great time on our first date. Then, as he turns to leave, he pauses, turns around and gives me a light kiss on the lips. I feel a slight fluttering in my heart, and I cant take my eyes off Hunter as I watch him climb into his metallic green Honda and drive away. Before I go inside, I stare up into the starlit sky and take in the magic of the full moon.
Ankiza
By the time I wake up, its almost eleven oclock in the morning. I panic until I realize its Saturday and I dont have to rush to school. Before I get out of bed, I let my thoughts drift to my date with Hunter. It was wrong of me to think hed be stuck-up like all the other preppies at school. And it didnt seem to bother him the way people stared at us at the theater or the way his friends freaked when they saw me with him. But it did bother me. It made me feel paranoid. I wonder if thats what Mom and Dad went through when they were first dating. After I shower and dress, I head upstairs to the kitchen, wondering why Athena hasnt come bouncing into my room like she always does on Saturday mornings. As I make myself a bowl of cereal, I read the note Mom has left for me on the fridge. Shes gone to the library with Athena while Dad is at the hospital. Athena loves going to the library on Saturday mornings when they have story-telling hour. Once I went along with her while Mom ran errands. There was a woman there telling a story about a turkey
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named Clara whos about to be cooked for Thanksgiving. I almost cried at the part where Clara is mistakenly separated from her husband and her babies. Athena never forgets that story. Last year for Thanksgiving, she didnt want to eat any of our turkey in case it was Clara. Im almost finished eating when Maya calls and invites me to go with her to the mall. She says shes lonely since her mom, who is a professor at Laguna University, had to go to campus. I complain to Maya that Ive already spent all of my allowance. She says shes broke too, but insists itll be fun window shopping. She nags me until I reluctantly agree to go with her. A short while later, Im about to ring Mayas door bell, when the door is flung wide open. Hi, Ankiza, Maya greets me as she steps outside to join me. Hey, girl. Maya is wearing a pair of tight bell-bottoms that make her look pounds thinner. Youre looking hot, I tell her. Maya gives me an impish smile. You dont think I look like Boney Maroney, skinny as macaroni? Dont be stupid, I answer teasingly. We cross the street and head toward the bus stop. Mayas always wishing she was heavier, and even though she eats like a porker, she never gains any weight. Wish I had that problem. On the bus ride to the mall, Maya grills me about my date with Hunter. When I get to the part about running into his friends at the pizza parlor, Maya rolls her eyes. She says, Michelle and Tara are airheads. Dont pay any atten-
tion to them. But you do know, dont you, that Hunter lives at Country Club Estates? I nod. Maya adds, But Hunters not a snob. Hes pretty cool. Im quiet for a very long moment. Then I tell Maya, It made me sick how everyone just stared at us. Her eyes widening, Maya exclaims. Wake up, Ankiza! You know how Laguna is! Mom says if it werent for the university, it would be even worse. Just then, the bus pulls up at the main entrance to Town & Country Mall, and were forced to stop talking as we prepare to get off. Once were inside the mall, we have fun window shopping. We stop at several shoe stores, where we examine all the new sandals, wishing we had the money to buy a pair or two. Then we go into a small boutique and look at the fancy headbands, barrettes, and jewelry. Before we leave, Maya digs three dollars out of her purse and buys a pair of gold-colored hoops. From there, we go to the cosmetics section at May Co., where we put on all the expensive perfumes. After that, we try on different lipsticks until the rude sales clerk comes over and asks if we plan on buying anything. We flash her a dirty look as we turn around and head toward the clothing area, where we spend the next couple of hours trying on the latest spring outfits.
Ankiza 27
Standing in front of the mirror admiring the bright green dress shes trying on, Maya sighs, If only Mom would let me have a charge card, then I could buy this. I know what you mean. Ive begged and begged my dad for one, but he wont give in. Just cause his parents were poor, he wants to act as if were poor. Sounds like my mom, Maya groans as she starts to undress. I get sick of hearing the same old stories about how she didnt have this or that when she was growing up. After weve had our fill of trying on clothes, Maya and I go back toward the center of the mall. We stop at the snack bar for a couple of Cokes and two giant Mrs. Fields cookies. Then we sit at one of the small tables to rest our feet and check out the cute guys going by. After a short while, we decide its time to head back for the main entrance to catch the bus. When I get home, Dads car is already in the driveway, so I go upstairs to the family room where I find him in his favorite chair reading the latest issue of National Geographic. Dad loves reading about other cultures. Sometimes he gets on my nerves cause he can go on and on about some article hes just read. Hi, Dad, I say, plopping down on the love seat. Wheres everyone? Your moms out in the back and Athenas in her room playing, Dad answers, putting his magazine down so he can look at me. Your mom said you got home awfully late last night.
Dads stern voice instantly puts me on the defensive. I find myself explaining everything Hunter and I did last night. When Im finished, Dad leans forward and asks, Ankiza, are you serious about this boy? Im momentarily stunned, then I feel something inside of me snap. Dad, I cant believe youre asking this! Dads voice is subdued. You do know the consequences of dating someone like Hunter? Just then, Mom steps into the room, but I ignore her fleeting smile. Why dont you stop beating around the bush, Dad? You mean someone whos white, dont you? Sensing my apparent frustration, Mom quickly comes to Dads defense. Ankiza, your Dad and I are worried that you might get hurt. Baffled, I stare into Moms hazel eyes. I thought if anyone would understand about my date with Hunter, it would be you, Mom. Havent you noticed youre Mexican and Dads black? Mom is at a loss for words, but Dad jumps in. Its been pure hell, your Mom will tell you that much. To this day, her family still doesnt accept me completely. Now Im feeling completely caged in. Out of sheer frustration, I yell back at him, Dad, youre making a big deal out of this. It was only a date. Im not marrying Hunter! Then I get up and storm out of the room.
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Ankiza 29
Later, Im lying on my bed, feeling miserable about Mom and Dads attitude, when the door is thrust open and Athena comes racing into my room. Read to me! she pleads, waving a big colorful book at me. Sure, Muffin, I answer, forcing out a smile. Athena hands me her book and climbs on the bed. As she snuggles up next to me, I think that the best thing about having a little sister is that she always makes me smile, even when Im sad.
Professor Sonia Gonzales

Bob Dylans music floated in the air as I made my way toward the back to the only vacant table at the Campus Coffee House. As I sat down and took a sip of my cappuccino, I thought about how much I disliked being on campus on a Saturday. But today had been different. After my morning committee meeting, I had given a talk to a group of high school students at the MEChA Youth Conference which was sponsored by our campus MEChA organization (the Movimiento Estudiantil Chicano de Aztln). I had felt proud discussing my role as a professor of Chicano Studies. Afterwards, I had met individually with the students to answer questions they might have about the university experience. I was about to start reading an article for one of my lectures when I heard someone ask, Would you mind if I shared this table with you? As I turned around to gaze at the stranger standing before me, I was struck by his piercing jade-colored eyes.
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Five
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Sure, I mumbled to the handsome man with the wavy, jet-black hair. My names Glenn, Glenn Bishop, he said, sitting down and holding his hand out to me. As I shook Glenns hand, I thought there was something vaguely familiar about him. Have we met before? He gave me a warm smile, which revealed a set of slightly uneven, but very white, teeth. Not formally, Glenn answered. But I heard you speak to the kids this morning. You were great. It was then that I remembered seeing Glenn sitting at the back of the conference room with some of the teachers while I gave my presentation. You must be a high school teacher, I said absentmindedly. Yes, Im one of those underpaid and overworked nuts. I smiled at Glenns frankness. What do you teach? I asked, trying my best to avoid the intensity of his jaguar eyes. In Spanish, Glenn explained that he taught all levels of Spanish at San Martn High School. When I complimented him on his almost perfect Spanish accent, Glenn switched back to English, explaining that during college, he had lived with a family in Guadalajara, as a foreign exchange student. He went on to confess that he loved anything mexicanothe food, the music, the people. After pausing for a moment, Glenn asked, And what about you? Did you learn Spanish at home? Yes, my parents spoke both Spanish and English to me from the time I was born.
Glenn asked where I was born, and I found myself talking freely about New Mexico and my blend of Mexican and Navajo roots. Glenn listened carefully, then congratulated me on my cultural heritage. He went on to describe his students, who were primarily from poor migrant backgrounds, adding that they were the hardest-working students he had ever met. His face lit up as he talked about their never-ending invitations to quinceaeras and weddings where he was usually the only gringo present. I wasnt prepared for Glenns next question. Do you have any kids? he asked. I felt myself start to blush, and I blurted out, I have one daughter, Maya. Shes sixteen. Im divorced. My ex lives in the Bay Area. I paused to take the last drink of my cappuccino, wondering why in the world I had felt it necessary to indicate I was single. But Glenns smile let me know that he was pleased by my confession. He asked me a few more questions about Maya, and I quickly summarized all her good points. Then, after a quick glance at my watch, I pushed my chair back, saying, Time for me to get going. As I gathered up my things to leave, Glenn asked, Can I call you sometime? Maybe we could go out for dinner? Sure, I answered, sounding like a clumsy, awkward teenager as Glenn quickly pulled out a small notebook from his shirt pocket and jotted down my telephone number.
Ankiza 33
As I made my way back toward the front entrance of the coffee house, I was certain that Glenn was still watching me, but I didnt have the nerve to turn around and look.
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Maya was stretched out on the couch watching music videos when I arrived. Hi, kiddo, I said, frowning at the TV screen where a Madonna look-alike was rubbing her almost nude body against two male singers. Mom, dont be so prissy, Maya scolded me as I sat down on the blue recliner next to her. Maybe I should get an outfit like that, I joked. Whats new? Maya turned to look at me, pulling her lean body up into a sitting position. Ankiza and I went to the mall and we saw the neatest spring dresses. Mom, why wont you let me have a credit card at May Co.? I sighed. It seemed like every time Maya went to the mall, she brought up the subject of credit cards. Look, mija, weve discussed this a thousand times. When you get a job so that you can afford to pay for a credit card, then you may have one. Maya shrugged, pushing away a long strand of dark brown hair that was close to entering her mouth. Hows Ankiza? I asked, hoping to change the subject. Mayas face fell. Shes totally bummed.
Why? Did something happen to her? I asked, sensing Mayas concern for Ankiza, who had been one of her friends since we had moved to Laguna several years ago. Maya shrugged. Just cause she went out on a date with this white guy, her dad went off the deep end. What a coincidence, I thought to myself as I remembered todays encounter with Glenn at the Campus Coffee House. Measuring each word carefully, I asked Maya who this guy was that Ankiza had dared to date. Maya smiled, stretching out her long tan legs on the ottoman. Hes a senior, his names Hunter and hes pretty cool. I dont see why Ankizas dad is making such a big deal out of it. I was about to offer my opinion, when Maya abruptly got to her feet. Can we get pizza and a movie tonight? she asked, reaching for the remote to turn the TV off. I nodded and teased her, What, no date tonight? Maya wrinkled her thick eyebrows. Real bummer. Tyrones dad wouldnt lend him the car tonight. Then, Maya sank back down on the couch and started pleading with me about how she must have a car. Amused, I told her to pass me the remote and she rose to her feet angrily, accusing me of trying to change the subject. As I watched her leave the room, I thought to myself, Teenagers! All they do is want, want, want!

On Sunday, I slept in late, then spent the rest of the morning reading the Los Angeles Times. By the time Maya got out of bed, I was feeling restless and ready to expend some energy, so I convinced her to accompany me on a short hike along one of the trails in Escondido Canyon which provided the backdrop to Laguna Hills. It was an enjoyable walk, listening to Maya chatter away about music, clothes, carsall those important subjects in a teenagers life. When we got back, Maya went to her room to listen to music, and I decided I could no longer avoid the pile of work sitting on my desk. The afternoon went by quickly as I graded one essay after another in the small bedroom which had long ago been converted into an office. When I could no longer ignore the growling in my stomach, I moved into the kitchen to fix something to eat. I was searching through the refrigerator when I heard the telephone ring. A minute later, Maya poked her head into the kitchen and announced, Mom, its for you. Some guy named Glenn.
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Six
Avoiding Mayas inquisitive look, I hurried out to the living room and picked up the receiver. Glenns pleasant voice came on immediately. Hello, Sonia. I hope Im not calling at a bad time. But I wanted to see if youd like to have dinner with me next Friday? Dinner? I repeated. Yes, I thought maybe we could go to my favorite Italian place. How about it? I was silent as doubts filtered through my mind. Since Armando and I had filed for a divorce last summer, I hadnt even thought about dating. Instead, Id buried myself in teaching and designing new courses. Yet, the loneliness had still been there. Maybe it was time for me to stop being so reclusive. Well, what do you say? Glenn asked, interrupting my thoughts. With tension spreading across my shoulders, I answered hesitantly, Sure, that would be nice. Qu suave! Glenn replied with his almost perfect Spanish pronunciation. He asked for my address and I gave it to him, along with directions on how to get to Laguna Hills from the freeway. As soon as I hung up the receiver, Maya was at my side. Who was that? she asked me accusingly.
Ankiza 37
I was about to respond to her question when the telephone started to ring again. Maya quickly reached out for it and a few seconds later, said, Oh, hi, Grandma. Turning to go back into the kitchen, I heard Maya say, Shes fine. But some guy just called her. I froze in mid-step as I imagined what Mom was telling Maya. A moment or two later, I heard Maya say, Yeah, shes right here. Annoyed, I gave Maya a mean look as I took the receiver from her and calmly greeted my mother. She began by asking if I had a new boyfriend. Panic returning, I explained that Glenn was a teacher who taught at a nearby school. Then, before Mom had time to grill me some more about Glenn, I asked about my madrina, Carmela. Mom, who loved to fill me in on all the latest family events, began to tell me about my godmothers new grandson and her recent trip to Jurez, to see a curandero about her rheumatism. Without even a pause, Mom proceeded to tell me about all my aunts and uncles, reminding me that they were expecting Maya and me to visit them in Santa Fe this summer. By the time we hung up, Mom had forgotten all about the mysterious new boyfriend. But at dinner that evening, Maya exploded with questions about Glenn. Mom, who is this Glenn guy and what did he really want? It was impossible to ignore the displeasure in Mayas voice. Hes a teacher I met yesterday on campus. He was calling to see if Id have dinner with him next week.
Mayas lower lip quivered and there was a bleak expression in her dark eyes as she replied, You barely met him and hes hitting on you already? Steadying myself, I answered, Hes a very nice man. It suddenly dawned on me that Maya and I had reversed roles. Now it was she who was acting like the overly concerned parent. Mayas distress seemed to mount even more as she blurted out, For all you know, he could be an ax-murderer! I couldnt help but laugh out loud at Mayas dramatic assessment of Glenn. But Maya was nonplussed. I dont understand why you have to go out with him. Neither does Grandma. You shouldve heard what she said. Thats enough, Maya, I scolded her. Besides, this is none of your grandmas business. And for your information, Glenn and I are only going out for dinner. Yeah, right, Maya said in an irritated voice. There was dead silence as the tension in the room escalated. Maya was over-reacting to my dinner date with Glenn, but she was absolutely right about Moms attitude. She would get very upset if she thought I was serious about anyone besides Armando. Mom was so damn stuck on tradition. I thought back to when I first told her Armando and I were getting a divorce. She had literally kicked me out of her house and refused to speak to me for months, saying I was going against God and the Catholic Church. Dad said he might come down this month, Maya said, breaking the silence and bringing me back to the present.
Ankiza 39
Thats nice, I sighed, noticing Mayas gloomy face. Maybe we could all go to the beach together. I dont think that would be a good idea. Maya was suddenly on her feet shouting angrily at me, Oh, I forgot. Your social calendar might be too full! Then she stormed out of the room before I was able to defend myself. Mayas outburst left me shaken and worried. Was she still harboring secret thoughts that Armando and I would get back together? I certainly hope not, I answered myself as I got up and started loading the dishwashwer. Not once had I ever led Maya to believe such a crazy idea. But then again, maybe it was typical for teenagers to think like that. I needed to get Sandras advice. After all, it was she who had counseled Maya during the divorce. Motherhood, I muttered out loud as I turned the dishwasher on and went back into my office to finish grading essays.
Ankiza
On Wednesday, Im walking past the gym with Maya, Juanita and Rina when Hunter calls out to me from across the main campus road. Trying hard not to appear too excited, I slow down so that he can catch up with us. After he says a quick hello to my friends, Hunter looks at me and explains, Ankiza, I only have a minute. Im president of the senior class and we have a meeting right now. But I wanted to ask you something. Yeah, sure, I say, wishing that Maya, Juanita and Rina would disappear, but I know they wont. Theyre glued to my side, watching every move Hunter makes. With an air of assurance, Hunter goes on. I wanted to know if youd go to the senior prom with me. Hjole, Juanita blurts out as my heart starts to pound wildly. Dumbfounded, I dont say anything, but Hunter is insistent. Well, what do you say, Ankiza? Youre asking me to the senior prom? I stammer.
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Seven
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Yeah, Id really like that, Hunter says, glancing at his watch. Its on May 23. Will you go with me? Answer him, stupid, Maya says, poking me in the side. Suddenly, I find myself nodding in agreement. Great! Hunter says with a big smile. And then, before he takes off back across the street to his meeting, he reminds me about the party on Friday, telling me hell call me later. As we start to walk again, Rina is the first one to offer her opinion about what shes just witnessed. Girl, that white boy likes you! she says very matter-of-factly. Maya lets out a loud giggle and Im about to inform Rina that she has a big mouth, but Juanita beats me to it. She gives Rina a mean look, telling her to stay out of my business. But Rina just smiles at her and says, Take a chill pill, Juanita! When we get to the football field, Tyrone and Tommy are waiting for us on the bleachers. Wheres Rudy? Juanita asks as we find a place to sit. He had to stay in for some cuts, Tyrone answers, putting his arm around Maya, who has been his girlfriend for the past few years. Hes always late for Science. Man, I can hardly wait until June, Tommy says. Then well be big bad seniors. Ill second that, Maya exclaims. The conversation turns to graduation next year and all the parties were going to have.
Juanita, who is not into partying like the rest of us, says, Me, I just want to graduate. Ill be the first one on both sides of my family to get a high school diploma. I smile at Juanita, knowing that if my parents were migrant workers, Id probably feel the same way too. Tommy is about to say something to Juanita when Rina interrupts the conversation. Guess whos going to the senior prom? I jerk my head up from my sandwich just as bigmouthed Rina adds, Hunters taking Ankiza. Unable to speak, my lower lip starts to tremble as I glare at Rina. Tommy, who senses my discomfort, says, Thats cool, Ankiza. Hunters a nice guy. But Im totally unprepared for what happens next. Giving me his meanest look, Tyrone says, Whats up with you, Ankiza? You think white guys are better now? Letting the rest of my sandwich fall down below the bleachers, I explode. Whats wrong with you, Tyrone? I ask angrily. Are you jealous cause hes not black like you? Tommy is on his feet, ordering both of us to calm down, but Tyrone wont stop. Black girls dont date white guys, he warns me. Maya, who hasnt said a word until now, quickly reminds Tyrone that there are few African-Americans at our school, but he ignores her comment. When Tyrone accuses me again of preferring white guys, I shout back,
Ankiza 43
And what about you, Tyrone? Mayas Mexican. And I dont try to tell you who to date! Tyrone is quick to defend himself. Thats different. Anyway, Hunter probably just wants a piece of black ass! I hear several loud gasps as I reach down and slap Tyrone as hard as I can. Then I hurry down the bleachers and take off toward campus. The rest of the afternoon, Im unable to concentrate in my classes. My head starts to ache every time I think about how Tyrone acted at lunchtime. I dont understand what Hunter ever did to make Tyrone dislike him. If I didnt know any better, Id think Tyrone was a racist. At least Tommy said something nice about Hunter. After school, Im glad that Maya has tennis practice and I can ride the bus home in silence. For now, all I want is to be left alone. Alone with my thoughts. If Rina wouldve just kept her big mouth shut, maybe this wouldnt have happened. When I get home, I find Mom and Athena in the family room watching Sesame Street. I yank one of Athenas wavy pigtails, but shes unable to take her attention away from Miss Piggy, who is giving beauty tips to Oscar the Grouch. Mom takes one look at my face as I sink into the love seat and she knows Im not feeling so hot. Bad day at school? she asks gently. Thats an understatement, I answer, kicking off my sandals.
You want to talk about it? There is a brief silence while I debate whether I should say anything to Mom about what happened at school. After a very long minute, I decide to speak. Mom, was it hard when you and Dad were dating, you know, cause he was black? A frown appears on Moms face as she fastens her vivid green eyes on me. Yes, it was very difficult. Not so much with my friends, but with my own family. The minute my mother found out I was dating a black man, she threatened to disown me! She did? Yes, she was raving mad. And for the longest time she and Dad wouldnt have anything to do with me. But I dont understand. Grandma Alvarez loves Dad. She does now, Mom answers, smiling. But when we were dating she refused to accept him. You see, wed always lived in neighborhoods where there were mostly Mexicans and Anglos. But no African-Americans. It was common to see Mexicans dating Anglos, but not blacks with Mexicans. It took my parents a long time before they finally came around and accepted your dad. Now they love him like their own son. Yeah, I know, I mumble, aware that Mom hasnt taken her eyes off me. Ankiza, do these questions have anything to do with you and Hunter?
Ankiza 45
Just then, Athena shuts off the TV and comes over to ask Mom for something to drink. Taking advantage of the sudden interruption, I get up to leave, explaining that I have tons of homework. The pensive look on Moms face lets me know that shes worried about me, but she doesnt pry. Thats one thing I like about Mom. Shes not pushy like a lot of parents. In my room, I lie down on my bed to listen to Bob Marley. Im drifting off to sleep when the phone rings. Its Hunter calling to talk about the party on Friday night at the country club. He explains that its informal and that hell pick me up around seven. I can feel a pounding in my head again as I start to wonder if Ill fit in with his preppie friends. Then Hunter switches topics, confessing how excited he is that Ive agreed to go to the senior prom with him. I try not to think about Tyrones reaction as I listen to Hunter talk about double-dating that night with Tony Mikada and his girlfriend, Kristin. Hunter is pleased to find out that I like Tony and that we have World History together. When I admit to Hunter Ive never been to a prom before and I have no idea what to wear, he lowers his voice and says, Dont worry, Ankiza. Youre so beautiful it wont matter what you wear. I whisper Thank you to Hunter and as I hang up the receiver, I find myself wishing it was the night of the senior prom. That evening, all I can think about is Hunter.
Ankiza
At the bus stop the next morning, the first thing Maya does is ask me why I didnt return her call last night. I make up a lie about how I had a bad headache because my periods coming, and so I went to sleep early. Maya is sympathetic, but I know she isnt convinced. When I dont say much on the way to school, Maya finally says, Youre being awfully quiet, Ankiza. Did what Tyrone said bother you? For a moment, I want to tell Maya that Tyrone is nothing but a creep, and that she should dump him, but I dont. I simply shake my head and pretend Im fine. But at lunchtime, instead of eating with Maya and the others, I hide in the library until its time to go to my fifth period class. On Friday, Im in the library doing my Health Ed homework, when Tommy walks up to the table where Im sitting. Hey, Ankiza, he greets me. How come you havent been eating with us?
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Eight
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I keep my eyes focused on my work and I answer, Ive got this long report to do. But Tommy is insistent. He places his hand on my shoulder gently and says, Come on, Ankiza, you cant fool me. Suddenly, Mrs. Meeker, the librarian, appears from behind a large bookshelf and scolds Tommy for talking. In a stern voice, she reminds us that a library is for studying, not for socializing. As Mrs. Meeker turns to leave, Tommy and I exchange a few giggles. Its no wonder everyone calls her the Amazon Queen. Shes not only six feet tall, but she has shoulders as wide as two semi trucks parked next to each other. Tommy pleads with me until I agree to go out into the hallway with him so we can talk without worrying about the Amazon Queen hunting us down. Okay, Ankiza, tell me whats up, Tommy says with a quiet, encouraging smile. I hesitate and then I begin, Im sick of Tyrones attitude, and I just dont want to be around him. You know how Tyrone is. Why do you let him get to you? Yeah, well, he acts like he knows everything. And hes got a big chip on his shoulder. A slight frown appears on Tommys face. I know what you mean, but Tyrones not a bad person. Remember how he acted when he found out I was gay, how he didnt want
anything to do with me? It took him some time to come around, but hes been cool since then. Its hard for me to believe that Tommy can defend Tyrones ignorant behavior. Me, Im not that generous. All I know is Im gonna date whoever I want whether Tyrone likes it or not! I answer, shaking my head. Tommy is quiet for a moment. Then he adds, I like Hunter. He knows how to kick it. Thanks, Tommy, I say, patting him on the arm. Just then, the bell rings, but before we take off in opposite directions, Tommy makes me promise that Ill have lunch with them next week. Fifth period drags by as I try to listen to Mr. Comptons boring lecture on the political crisis in the Middle East. All I can think about is my own crisis. What do I care about whats going on in the world? My mind flashes to the two Barbies at the pizza parlor. I wonder how theyll act when they see me with Hunter tonight. Will they be rude again and treat me as if Im invisible? Or will they realize that Im a real human being like them? Mr. Compton suddenly asks me a question I cant answer, and Im forced to forget about Hunter and the Barbie girls. At the end of sixth period, Im walking into the P.E. locker room with my friend, Sheena, when I overhear a group of girls mention Hunters name. As soon as she sees me, one of the girls, Louise, who is on the cheerleading squad, whispers, Ssssh, and they all get quiet. Then,
Ankiza 49
Louise, who must think Im stupid or something, turns to me and says hello. I smile faintly while Sheena glares viciously at Louise and her groupies. As we go over to one of the benches and start to undress, Sheena whispers under her breath, Sluts! I let out a small laugh, warning Sheena to be nice. Im putting my shoes on, when Sheena nudges me with her elbow and says, Dont look now, but here come the sluts. I raise my head to find Louise and one of her friends standing in front of me. Twirling a long strand of her flaming red hair, Louise says, Ankiza, is it true that youre going to the senior prom with Hunter? Before I can even open my mouth, Sheena answers sarcastically, So, whats it to you? Louise gives Sheena a dirty look and says, I wasnt talking to you, Sheena. I was talking to Ankiza. Sheena scrunches up her face and in a high-pitched voice, she says, Well, excu-u-use me. I smile at Sheenas imitation of Louise. Its strange to have Sheena sticking up for me. After all, it was only a few years ago when she had that fight with Juanita and went around making bad remarks about blacks and Chicanos. But Sheenas changed since then. Now she doesnt think shes better just because shes Anglo. Still, there arent too many kids at school who like Sheena. They call her white trash and say she sleeps around with anyone who will have
her. But I couldnt care less about those rumors. Sheenas my friend and I like her. Well, is it true? asks an anorexic brunette, who is also on the cheerleading squad. I look at her menacingly and answer, Yes, Hunter did ask me to the prom. You have a problem with that? No, of course not, Louise replies, giving me one of her phony plastic smiles. Anita and I only wanted to find out if the rumor was true. When Sheena asks Louise if she doesnt have anything better to do than gossip, Louise tells her, Shut up, Sheena. Then she and Anita go back to join their friends, who have been watching us closely. Sheena is furious. She looks as if shes about to go after Louise, but I quickly grab her by the arm, saying, Let it go, Sheena. Those girls arent worth getting into trouble over. Heaving a dramatic sigh, Sheena agrees with me. Yeah, I guess so. Anyway, theyre just jealous cause Hunter didnt ask them to the prom. I nod, wondering if Sheena is right. After all, Hunter is one of the finest-looking guys at Roosevelt.
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On the way home, Maya asks if I want to spend the night at her house so we can watch scary movies, but I explain that I have a date with Hunter. When she asks
Ankiza 51
where were going on our date, I tell her about the party at the Country Club. Maya raises her eyebrows and replies, Hanging out with the Sweet Valley High crowd, are you? Dont be stupid, I snap at her as the bus comes to a halt and we get off with all the other trendy-looking teens who live in our neighborhood. As soon as I get home, I hide in my bedroom and search for just the right clothes to wear on my date with Hunter. After almost an hour of trying on different things, I finally narrow it down to a short green plaid skirt with a matching knit top, and a sleeveless lavender dress that makes me look extra sexy, according to Maya. When Athena opens the door to call me for dinner, I ask her which of the two outfits she thinks I should wear. Athena immediately selects the lavender dress, explaining that its the same color as the one shes wearing. Good choice, I tell her. Tonight well both look like twins. Then I hurry upstairs to join Mom and Athena for dinner. On Friday nights, Dad generally takes Mom out for dinner, but tonight hes working late at the clinic so Mom has ordered pizza. Im on my second slice when Athena proudly informs Mom that she and I are dressing like twins for the night. Mom looks at me as I nervously explain about the lavender dress Im wearing on my date with Hunter. Mom smiles at Athena and then gives me a funny look, asking, Another date with Hunter?
Annoyed, I push my chair back and get up from the table saying, God, Mom. Now youre acting just like Dad! Then I excuse myself before she has time to ask me any more dumb questions.
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When Hunter comes to pick me up, Mom is at the top of the stairs watching us. Hello, Mrs. Fife. Hi, Athena, Hunter greets them both cheerfully. Athena waves as Mom invites Hunter in, but I quickly holler up at her, Sorry, Mom. Were running late! As we turn to leave, Mom reminds me to be home by midnight. Hunter quickly reassures her that hell get me home on time.
Ankiza
Fifteen minutes later, were at Country Club Estates, in a secluded area five miles south of Laguna. As we pull up to the gated entry, the watchman, who recognizes Hunter, waves us on through the gate. Hunter carefully maneuvers the car up the main road, which is lined with the most beautiful sycamore trees Ive ever seen. Their long cascading branches make it seem as if were driving through a tunnel. Id like to stop by the house for a minute so you can meet my parents, Hunter says as we weave around the tree-lined drive past the rolling hills of the golf course. I dont know if thats a good idea, I whisper, feeling my pulse start to quicken. Hunter reaches over and pats my hand. Dont worry, Ankiza. Youll like my parents. Theyre very nice. Hunter turns onto another tree-lined road and drives up higher until we reach the top of the hill where the view is breathtaking. Country Club Estates is nestled in a beautiful valley which is surrounded by expansive rolling hills and a lush golf course.
53
Nine
Good. Dads car is here, Hunter exclaims, pulling up next to a two-story Mediterranean-style home with a beautiful tile roof. Just the three of you live here? I gasp. This is a mansion! Hunter smiles sheepishly. My sister Carol is away at UC-Berkeley. But she comes home every break she gets. My legs are wobbly as we descend from the car and start up the long stone walkway, which is made of old bricks with moss growing in the cracks. As we approach the house, Im struck once again by its beauty. It is made of hand-troweled white stucco, and a large oak tree casts shade across the veranda. When I ask Hunter how old the house is, he explains that it was built around 1920. Tightening my grasp on Hunters hand, I follow him through the hand-carved wooden doors to the entryway. Theyre probably in the sitting room, Hunter says as I gaze nervously at the wrought-iron candelabra hanging from the center of the room. Then Hunter leads me across the terra cotta floor into a large sitting room with warm, earthy colors that are inviting and comfortable. Come on, Hunter says, taking me toward his parents who are sitting in front of a stone fireplace in matching fruitwood chairs. Mom, Dad, Hunter begins. I want you to meet Ankiza. A startled look appears on their faces as they turn sideways to gaze at me. I can feel knots forming in the pit of
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my stomach. Mr. Bianchi, who is wearing khaki pants and Italian woven loafers without socks, is the first to speak. Setting his teacup down, he politely shakes my hand and then introduces me to Hunters mother who is still staring profusely at me. After a very long moment, she says, I beg your pardon, what did you say your name was? Speechless, I stare at Mrs. Bianchi. She resembles someone out of Dynasty. She is wearing a champagne-colored silk pants outfit which is set off by a string of pearls with matching diamond and pearl earrings. Hunter repeats my name to Mrs. Bianchi, who hesitates for an instant before she finally reaches out to shake my hand. It makes me wonder if this is the first time shes ever touched a black person. As we take a seat on the chenille down-filled sofa, Mrs. Bianchi asks if Id like some tea, but I politely say no. Then Hunter asks his dad how his trip went, and Mr. Bianchi sighs, saying it was long and boring. Mrs. Bianchi joins in on their conversation while I glance around at the expensive collection of art and sculpture that fills the room. Unlike my home, there are no family photographs on the walls. Here everything seems proper and in its place, like a fancy hotel room or one of those elegant homes in a home decorating magazine. Mr. Bianchi suddenly brings me back to the moment when he turns to me and asks, What kind of employment does your father have? There arent that many employment opportunities in Laguna.
A slight flush appears on Hunters face as he explains to his father that my dad is a physician. Oh, how nice, Mrs. Bianchi says while she fidgets with one of her earrings. Then Hunters father asks if my dad golfs, but before I can answer him, Mrs. Bianchi interrupts, Now, dont be silly. Not everyone golfs. Ignoring Mrs. Bianchis sarcasm, I explain that Dad golfs twice a week. Mr. Bianchi seems pleased, but Hunter, who by now is even more irritated, looks at me, saying, Its time to go, Ankiza. I nod, completely aware that Mrs. Bianchi is observing me very closely. When she politely insists that we stay longer, Hunter explains that were late for a party at the club. As we stand up to leave, I whisper good-bye to Hunters parents, who still havent taken their eyes off of me. As soon as were outside, Hunter sighs heavily, Im sorry, Ankiza. I dont know why they acted like that. They were so rude. Its okay, I answer, sensing his hurt and embarrassment. Hunter squeezes my hand and I want to say more, but I dont. Maybe its better that he deal with this in his own way. We drive back down the hill to the club house, which is directly behind some tennis courts. After we park the car, Hunter takes me for a quick tour of the club house. The first place we visit is the exercise rooms, which are filled with
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people working out. Next, we go through a long hallway adorned with museum-quality paintings to the back where he shows me the cafeteria and several large banquet rooms. From there, we go back up to the sign-up desk and Hunter points out the different ballrooms where the dances are held. After that, I follow Hunter through some double glass doors and out past the Olympic-size swimming pool toward a small cottage. We can hear the music blaring as we open the front door and go inside to join the party. Although the lights have been turned down, I can still make out the cozy fireplace at the center of the room and the couches and chairs which have all been placed against the walls to make room for a larger dance floor. Looking around, I can tell that with the exception of Daryl Cooper, who is on the varsity football team, I am the only African-American present. Hunter invites me over to the refreshment table, where a freckle-faced girl hands us each a glass of punch. When someone hollers out Hunters name, he pulls me toward a group of guys who are standing in front of the fireplace. While I say hello to Hunters friends, the husky guy whose name is Mark, winks twice at me. I can tell that Mark has had too much to drink from the way hes leaning up against the guy next to him. Just then, a tall blonde and two other girls approach us. I recognize one of them as Louise from my P.E. class.
Hello, Hunter, the blonde says coyly. Then she glances at me, adding, Arent you going to introduce me to your little friend? Annoyed, Hunter introduces me to the sarcastic blonde. Her name is Allyson. Do you live here at Country Club Estates? she asks me in a condescending tone. No. Do you? I snap back at her. Mark lets out a small laugh, but Allyson quickly tells him to shut up. When they start to bicker with each other, Hunter takes me by the arm, saying, Come on, Ankiza. Id like you to meet Tony Mikadas girlfriend, and we move to the other side of the dance floor. Tony is thrilled to see us. He right away introduces me to Kristin, the pretty chestnut-haired girl at his side, who flashes me a warm smile. I cant help but notice that although Kristin is about an inch taller than Tony, they seem to fit together like two puzzle pieces. Theyre both friendly and very animated when they speak. Tony said youre in World History together, Kristin says and I nod, remembering the day Tony talked about his Japanese-American grandparents who were dragged away from their homes during World War II and placed in an internment camp in Colorado. Most of the students were shocked and had a hard time believing he was telling the truth. You better believe it! Tony interjects with a wide grin. Ankiza and I are the smartest ones in the class!
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What an egomaniac! Kristin responds, poking Tony in the stomach. Go ahead, Pinnochio, tell us another lie! Tony smiles bashfully as Hunter and I exchange an amused look. We talk about school stuff for a few more minutes and then Hunter suddenly asks me to dance. Im sure everyone is watching us as we weave our way to the busy dance floor. Tony and Kristin are right behind us. The dance floor is so crowded, we can barely dance without bumping into someone. When the music changes to a slow, romantic song, Hunter draws me gently into his arms and I float away to places Ive never been beforefar away where Hunter and I are the only ones who exist. Hunter and I are so lost in each other that it takes us a few minutes to realize that Mark is standing at our side trying to get our attention. My turn, Mark insists, placing his hand firmly on my arm, and Hunter and I are forced to stop dancing. Hunter glares at Mark, telling him to get lost, but Mark, who by now has had way too much to drink, ignores the warning. Instead, he tightens his grasp on my arm and in a slurred voice, tells Hunter, Whats the matter, dont you wanna share? Let go of her, Hunter orders Mark, who attempts to jerk my arm free from Hunters shoulder. A chill runs through my body as a crowd gathers around us. The next thing I know, Hunter steps away from me and
smashes his fist into Marks red face. I hear a loud gasp as Kristin pulls me toward her and Tony grabs Hunter by the shoulders to keep him from Mark, who is lying on the floor looking dazed. The music comes to a sudden halt as Hunter grabs my hand, saying, Lets get out of here. As we cross the floor and head toward the entrance to the cottage, I manage to catch a glimpse of Louise, who is standing with Allyson in front of the refreshment table. There is a a look of stark satisfaction on her face.

I was standing in front of the mirror wearing a midlength blue dress when Maya walked into the room and sat on the bed to watch me. Mom, she exclaimed, thats too low-cut. Your chichis are hanging out everywhere. Now, Maya, dont exaggerate, I defended myself, pulling up on the tight v-neck bodice. Just because Im a professor doesnt mean I should dress like a nun. Mayas reaction was amusing. She was so accustomed to seeing me in my drab two-piece professor outfits that it shocked her to see me looking any different. But Maya was unconvinced by my explanation. Well, if youre gonna go out with that Glenn guy, she replied, grimacing, I think you should wear a sweater over it. It was clear how much Maya disapproved of my date this evening. But what could I do? For the past few days, I had worn myself out trying to talk to her about Glenn, but she had refused to listen. So for now, there wasnt much else I could do.
61
Ten
You look awfully pretty. Where are you off to tonight? I asked, hoping to ease the tension between us. Were going to the Rock. Tyrone and Rudy are picking me up any minute now. Johnnys supposed to meet us there. Can you believe her dad still wont let her go out on a date? Yes, I can, I said, adjusting the small barrette which held back part of my long brown hair. Mexicano fathers tend to be very strict and traditional. Well, I think it sucks. Johnny has to lie and sneak around all the time to be with Rudy. The sound of the doorbell interrupted our conversation. That must be Glenn, I said, taking another long look at myself in the mirror. Chill out, Mom, Maya hissed as she got up and followed me out to the front room. Buenas noches, Glenn greeted me in Spanish as I opened the door to invite him inside. He was wearing a yellow and green checkered shirt with a pair of olive-colored Dockers that made him look even more handsome than when I had first met him at the Campus Coffee House. Aware that Mayas eyes were fastened on us, I introduced her to Glenn, who gave her his friendliest smile and a warm handshake. Then we went into the living room. As soon as Glenn was seated comfortably on the couch, I offered him something to drink, but he politely refused, turning to look at Maya, who was carefully scrutinizing him from the armchair where she was sitting.
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Your Mom says you go to Roosevelt, he began. How do you like it there? Just fine, Maya answered in a rude tone. Are you taking any Spanish classes? Glenn continued. When Maya nodded yes, Glenn asked her, En qu nivel ests? With a sigh of frustration, Maya informed Glenn in English that she was in Advanced Spanish. This time, I snapped. Maya, youre being extremely rude. When someone speaks to you in Spanish, youre supposed to answer the same way. But Glenn was quick to defend Mayas obnoxious behavior. Thats okay, Sonia, he said while I shot a nasty look at her. Then Glenn turned his attention back to Maya, asking if she planned on getting a Ph.D. like her mother. Arrows shot out of Mayas dark eyes as she exclaimed, No way! Id rather be dead than be a professor! Just then, a horn honked and Maya jumped to her feet. Thats Ty, Mom. Gotta go, she said, racing out of the room without another word to either of us. When I made a feeble attempt at apologizing for Mayas quick exit, Glenn reassured me that Maya was only acting like a typical teenager, so I decided to drop the issue.
rrr
At Antonias, the hostess led us to a small table in the back where we had a nice view of the small creek that bordered the downtown businesses. This is a lovely place, I sighed, gazing out at the creek. Do you come here often? Only on special occasions like this one, Glenn replied. I couldnt help smiling. A short while later, the waiter reappeared with the two glasses of white wine we had ordered, and Glenn raised his glass to mine, saying, Amor, salud, pesetas y tiempo para gozarlos. Thats a beautiful saying, I told Glenn as soon as he had finished our toast. He explained that he had learned it from one of his favorite college professors. What made you decide to study Spanish? Glenns face lit up. Ive always loved Spanish. I was raised in a barrio in San Jose with many Chicanos, and they would always speak Spanish with me. After I graduated from high school, I worked at different jobs until I was in my mid-twenties and enrolled at San Jose State. Thats when I decided I wanted to be a teacher and well, I always loved speaking espaol. How about you? What made you decide to be a professor? Oh, I dont know, I began, feeling a warm rush from the wine. At first I wanted to be a social worker, but when I took my first Chicano Studies course, I fell in love with literature and decided I wanted to teach. Then one of my mentors, Carlos Leal, encouraged me to pursue doctoral
studies so I applied to Stanford and the rest is Chicana herstory. Very impressive, Glenn said as the waiter arrived with our salads. A few minutes later, Glenn paused to ask, Have you been divorced long? No, it hasnt quite been a year yet. How about you, Glenn? Have you ever been married? A veil of sadness suddenly clouded Glenns sharp green eyes. Yes, I was married for five years. But my wife died from breast cancer a few years ago. From the hurt in Glenns voice, I knew that he had loved her deeply. I reached out and patted his hand, but Glenn reassured me that it was all right, that he was finally coming to grips with it. Then he talked about a support group which had helped him deal with his own pain and anger over his wifes death. It was a relief for both of us when the waiter arrived with our food. Glenn insisted that I taste his shrimp scampi and I gave him a bite of my fettuccine Alfredo. While we ate, I asked Glenn about his family. He told me that both of his parents had been working for the same computer company for the past twenty years. He then described his two sistersMaryanne who was thirty-five, two years younger than him and who lived in Idaho with her husband and two kids, and Shannon, the thirty-year-old who lived at home with his parents. Next, Glenn quizzed me about my own family, and I talked about my widowed mother and family
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who lived in Santa Fe. By the time we had finished our dinner, I no longer felt as if Glenn and I were strangers. As we left Antonias, I thanked Glenn for a wonderful evening. He reassured me that it wouldnt be the last time. Next time, itll be my treat, I insisted as Glenn began to tease me about professors being rich.
rrr
Several hours later, I was lying on the couch drifting in and out of sleep when I felt Mayas hand on my shoulder, shaking me lightly. Mom, its me. Wake up, Im home. What time is it? I mumbled. Midnight, curfew time, dont you remember? I sat up, rubbing my eyes. I guess I dozed off when David Letterman came on. How was the dance? Lots of fun! Maya exclaimed. Then she wrinkled up her nose, saying, How was your date with whats his face? It was very nice and since were on the subject, young lady, what is it about Glenn that bothers you so much? Get real, Mom, Maya answered dryly. He looks young enough to be your son. Thats a mean thing to say, Maya! Im going to bed. I have to get up early for a tennis match, Maya replied, turning to leave the room.
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Frustrated, I turned off the lamp and headed upstairs to my bedroom. Mayas behavior was totally out of line. Tomorrow morning I would make it a point to call Sandy.

The next morning, as soon as I showered and dressed, I dialed Sandys number. Sensing my urgency, Sandy immediately agreed to meet me for lunch at Moon Jas, our favorite Chinese restaurant. As I hung up the phone, I reflected on my friendship with Sandy, who, over the years, had become my best friend, or comadre, as we jokingly referred to each other. And I knew all too well that if it hadnt been for her friendship during my divorce from Armando, I would have been completely alone. Yes, despite her stress-filled days as a psychologist, Sandy was always there when I needed her. True friends like her werent easy to find in Laguna. And if anyone knew that, it was me. As soon as I walked into Moon Jas, the hostess directed me to the small table near the back where Sandy and I always chose to sit. It was our favorite spot because it faced a long window that gave us a nice view of the downtown streets. While I busied myself watching the tourists stroll in and out of the trendy shops, which were a trademark of Laguna, Sandy came rushing up to greet me.
68
Eleven
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Sorry, Im late, she apologized, looking very relaxed in a pair of torn Levis and a moon-yellow sweater that highlighted her light-colored skin and jet-black hair. And here I thought shrinks were always punctual, I teased her playfully. I stopped by my office and you know how that goes, Sandy sighed, taking a seat across from me. We gave the waiter our order, and just as soon as he was out of sight, Sandy asked how academia was treating me. Overworked as usual, I frowned, complaining at length about all the committee work I was expected to do while teaching new courses. Sandy was sympathetic, reminding me to take care of myself, but I quickly retorted, How in the world can I do that, always eating lunch in my office? Then I asked Sandy how Frank was and she sighed heavily, Hes finally coming out from all the income tax preparation hes been doing for the past five months. Last weekend we even managed a visit to my parents in Delano. When I asked Sandy about her fathers health, she replied sadly, Oh, about the same. He still refuses to go to an AA meeting. But Moms been to a few Al-Anon meetings, and they seem to be helping her cope better. Just then, the waiter arrived with two steaming plates of shrimp chow mein and we began to stuff ourselves. After a few minutes, Sandy gave me an imploring look and said,
Now Sonia, I know something is troubling you. Can you tell me what it is? I looked deep into Sandys eyes, knowing that it was time to confide in her and tell her the real reason why I had wanted to get together with her. Ive met someone new, I began hesitantly. Sandys face brightened. Thats great! Who is he and what does he do? His names Glenn Bishop. Hes a high school teacher and hes kind, handsome and very, very sexy. Sandy laughed, saying, He cant be any sexier than my Frank, and this time we both laughed. Then Sandy gave me a serious look, adding, Im so glad youve finally met someone nice. I was beginning to wonder if youd joined a nunnery. I smiled at Sandys assessment of my love-life. For being a psychologist, she was sometimes tactless. When Sandy went on to ask me if I thought my relationship with Glenn would develop into something long-lasting, I frowned, returning her steady gaze. It could be, but theres only one problem. And what might that be? I felt my lower lip tremble as I described in detail Mayas negative reaction to Glenn. That doesnt sound at all like the Maya I know, Sandy said. Exactly.
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I suspect that something else is going on inside of Maya. I stared into Sandys pensive eyes. Mayas always been so accepting of everyone and now shes acting so strange. It just doesnt make sense. Do you think she might still be hoping that Armando and I will get back together? I cant imagine where she would get such an idea. Armando and I lead two totally different lives now. Sandy leaned back in her chair. As bizarre as it might seem, Sonia, its not uncommon for kids from a divorced background to hang on to the belief that their parents will one day be reunited. This even occurs with adult children of divorced parents. Have you tried broaching this subject with Maya? Not really, I shrugged. Then I suggest you bring it up with her as soon as possible. Help clear up any secret hopes that she might be harboring about you and Armando getting back together. After a slight pause, Sandra went on, Equally important, I would suggest that you invite Glenn for dinner one night when Maya is there. Once Maya gets to know Glenn better, she wont see him as a threat. I nodded, hoping that Sandra was right.
rrr
When Maya returned from her tennis match that afternoon, I gave her enough time to shower and rest before I
went looking for her. I found her lying on her bed reading Seventeen. As I made myself comfortable on the edge of the bed, I asked about the tennis match. She wrinkled up her thick eyebrows and said, San Martn whipped our butts. Oh, thats too bad, I sighed as Maya turned to look at me. Dont worry. Well get em next time. Then I casually mentioned my lunch date with Sandy. Mayas face came alive as she confessed, I love Ms. Martnez! Shes so cool. Hoping to take advantage of Mayas positive frame of mind, I added cautiously, Maya, Im not sure how to discuss this, but you seemed a bit hostile toward Glenn last night. I was wondering if this has anything to do with your feelings toward your dad and me? Maya sat up, crossing her long dark legs. Why do you say that? I heaved a deep sigh, attempting to ignore her defiant look. Maya, I began slowly. I want you to know that your dad is just as content with his new life as I am with mine. And in no way are we planning on getting together in the future. Im only telling you this because I dont want you to get hurt thinking that your dad and I will ever remarry. Mayas face was on fire now. So you think this whatshis-face will make a better husband than Dad? Shocked by Mayas accusation, I managed to control my feelings. Maya, please understand that my relationship
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with Glenn has nothing to do with your dad. And besides that, Glenn and I are only friends. Maya was about to say something back to me when the telephone rang. I waited while she answered it and a few moments later, Maya covered the receiver and said, Its Johnny. May I please have some privacy? Frustrated, I went back into my office, where I attempted to bury my feelings in the pile of essays which still needed to be graded. A short while later, Maya came strolling into my office. In a nonchalant voice, she stated, Mom, Tys on his way over. Were going out for pizza. Mija, I exclaimed, turning sideways to look at her. Id like to finish our conversation. Maya ignored my request, insisting that she needed to finish putting on her make-up. Then she was gone, leaving me even more frustrated than before. It was painfully clear that Maya didnt want to hear a single word I had to say about Glenn.
Ankiza
When the school bus picks us up on Monday morning, Maya mentions that her mom has a new boyfriend, a high school teacher and that hes Anglo-American. I can tell by Mayas indignant attitude that she doesnt like him, but I dont say anything. Instead, I listen quietly while she complains about him. After a few minutes, Maya pauses to ask, Whats bugging you today, Ankiza? Youre never this quiet. Acting as if nothing is wrong, I shrug my shoulders, but Maya keeps on pestering me until I find myself talking about the fight at the club house. I tell her about Marks startled look when Hunter punched him. I dont know why Hunter let Mark get to him. Besides, Mark is nothing but a macho jerk and the only thing he wanted to do was show off in front of his friends. Shocked by what Ive just told her, Maya remarks, Im glad Hunter let him have it! That Mark guy is a real creep. I cant believe he said that to you!
74
Twelve
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Why not? I snap angrily. The other day, Tyrone acted just like Mark. A somber look appears on Mayas face as she replies, That was different. Why? You think just cause Tyrone is African-American, that its okay for him to act prejudiced toward Hunter? I didnt say that, Maya answers defensively. Then she glares at the two freshman girls in front of us, who have been listening to every word of our conversation, and she tells them to mind their own business. Look, Maya, I go on, not caring whether the entire bus hears me, no one has the right to put another person down just because of the color of their skin. Dont be stupid, Ankiza. Dont you think I know that? Maya says accusingly as the bus comes to a halt in the school parking lot. Maya hardly says a word to me on the way to the main building, but Im glad I gave her a piece of my mind. Maya always thinks she knows everything and its about time someone put her in her place. First period drags by as I listen to Mr. Burns lecture on molecules, but my next two classes arent so boring, since were allowed to work in small groups. By the end of Health Ed, my stomach is growling fiercely, so I race to my locker for my sack lunch. Im debating whether I should eat with Maya and the girls, when Hunter appears before me.
Hi, Ankiza, he says. Can you eat with me today? I need to talk to you. Noticing the troubled look on Hunters perfectly chiseled face, I nod, walking out of the building with him toward the patio area in front of the Liberal Arts building. All of the benches are taken, so we sit next to each other on the grass. When Hunter turns to look at me, his eyes are bleak. Whats wrong, Hunter? I ask, expecting him to bring up Mark and the nasty fight. Embarrassed, Hunter bows his head slightly and says, Its my parents . . . Theyre acting just like Mark. I reach out for Hunters hand, wondering how he couldve been so naive to expect anything different. I know I didnt. I never thought theyd act this way, Hunter says, raising his head to look into my eyes. Mom made the dumbest remark about you. She said, Well at least shes not that dark. And Dad joked about an African-American who tried to join the country club last year. He thought it was hilarious. Filled with shame, Hunter hesitates and I squeeze his hand again, whispering, Its not your fault, Hunter. I never expected my parents to act so racist. Can you believe theyve always prided themselves on being liberal? Now I dont know what to say. Im at a complete loss for words.
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But I came right out and accused them of being ignorant, Hunter adds angrily. I also made it clear that I have a right to choose my own dates. Then Hunter reaches up and strokes my cheek tenderly, apologizing for everything that has happened. Pretending Im okay, I whisper that Im fine, but as he pulls me closer to him, there is a heaviness tugging at my heart. After lunch, Hunter walks me as far as the gym, where he says good-bye and heads for his P.E. class. When I get to my locker, Maya and Rina are waiting for me. Hey, girl, where were you? Rina asks while Maya eyes me suspiciously. I ate with Hunter. We missed you, Maya adds. Then she points to the top of my locker door, where there is a piece of paper sticking out of the vent. Looks like somebody left you a note, Rina says. I pull on the folded note, but its jammed so tightly inside the vent that I have to dial my locker combination in order to get to it. With Rina peering over my shoulder, I open the note and start to read the words printed in big red letters: WE DONT WANT NIGGERS AT OUR SENIOR PROM. I gasp. Rina begins to swear angrily. Crumpling up the note, I let it fall to the floor, but Maya, who is acutely aware that something terrible has just happened, picks it up and reads it.
Who the hell did this? Maya exclaims, choking with anger while Rina threatens to beat up whoever wrote it. The tardy bell rings for fifth period, but I am unable to move. My body is frozen, and I am in total shock. Were going straight to Mrs. Michaels office, Maya says, grabbing me by the arm. Do you think we should? I whisper as tears start to slide down my cheeks. Yes, Maya demands. Were gonna tell the counselor about this right now. We find Mrs. Michaels in the main office next to the Xerox machine. She takes one look at our faces and knows right away that something is wrong. As soon as were inside her office, I burst into tears. Handing me a Kleenex, Mrs. Michaels puts her arm around me while Rina describes what happened at my locker. Then Maya hands Mrs. Michaels the note. As soon as Mrs. Michaels reads it, she squeezes my shoulder and says, Im very sorry, Ankiza. This is a hateful note written by someone who is extremely ignorant. Im glad you trusted me enough to bring it to me. Now I must report it to Mr. Marshall. I nod silently as Mrs. Michaels leaves the room. Several minutes later, she asks us to follow her to the principals office, which is at the other end of the hallway. When we get there, Mr. Marshall, who appears more agitated than usual, politely asks us to sit down.
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After he clears his voice, he looks directly at me, and says, This a very unfortunate incident that goes against our school policy. I want to reassure all of you, and especially you, Miss Fife, that Roosevelt High has a school policy against any kind of hate speech. With your permission, Miss Fife, Id like to keep the note as evidence, and the first thing Ill do is have the dean of students start an investigation so that we can find out where it originated. And believe me, we will get to the bottom of this, even if we have to interview every single student in the school. Unable to speak, I give Mr. Marshall a feeble smile. But Rina, who knows how uncaring the school administration has been toward students of color, tells Mr. Marshall, Something better be done about this or else! Maya seconds Rinas statement and Mr. Marshall, whose left eye has begun to twitch nervously, reassures us that the school will take action on the incident. Back in Mrs. Michaels office, she tells me I can call my parents and go home if Id like, but I shake my head, saying that Id prefer to finish out the rest of my classes. Mrs. Michaels is very understanding about my decision and gives each of us an excuse slip so we can get back into our classes. By the time I get home from school, the principal has already contacted Mom, who is nervous and upset about the entire incident. When I burst into tears, Athena gets a sad face, and reaches for my hand.
Does your stomach hurt, Ankiza? she asks. Mom insists that I go to my room and rest. For once, I dont argue. I do exactly as Mom says, knowing that I need to be alone with my thoughts to try and sort out what has happened. In my room, I lie in bed and cry until my eyes are swollen and my nose is stuffy. Try as I might, I dont understand why someone would write such awful words to me. I mean, I know these things happen. But why to me? Ive never done anything to hurt anybody. All I ever do is try to be nice to people. I cant understand why people can be so mean and ugly. The shrillness of the telephone ringing pulls me away from my sad thoughts. Its Hunter calling to talk about prom night. Sensing that Im awfully quiet, he asks if anything is wrong, so I take a deep breath and tell him all about the note. There is a loud hiss on the other end of the line, which is followed by a few cuss words, and the first thing that comes to my mind is that Ive never heard Hunter swear. A moment or two later, Hunter says angrily, I dont know what evil person could have done that. I am so sorry, Ankiza. When I let out a muffled sob, Hunter says hes coming right over, but I insist Ill be fine. Before we hang up, Hunter makes me promise that I wont let anyone or anything stop me from going to the senior prom with him.
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Later that evening, Dad comes into my room and sits on the bed next to me. His voice is tired and there are storm clouds in his eyes. Ankiza, he begins, your mother told me what happened at school. Im outraged. I was hoping I could protect you from something like this. Thats why I was so critical of your dating someone like Hunter. All of a sudden, I understand why Dad acted so hostile toward Hunter. He was only trying to protect me. But Dad, I reply adamantly, none of this is Hunters fault. Yes, I know, Dad says, pausing to tenderly wipe away the stray tear that is sliding down my cheek before he continues. Princess, I want you to know Im calling the school principal first thing in the morning. And Im going to demand an investigation as well as a formal apology in writing. Im also going to contact the local chapter of the NAACP. Suddenly, Im more nervous than before. Dad, arent you going overboard on this? I ask accusingly. Dads face is on fire now. No, Princess, Im not. The school needs to know that this type of behavior is totally reprehensible and that we wont stand for it. But Dad, why do you have to tell the NAACP? The last thing I want is my name all over the newspapers! Ankiza, we have to make sure that this is well-documented and that it never happens to anyone again. Do you think he cared what the newspapers printed or what anyone
said about him? Dad says, pointing to the poster of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. hanging above my dresser. I nod quietly, knowing that Dad is right, yet deep down inside of me, I wish things could be different. When Dad reaches over to hug me, we cling quietly to each other for the longest time before he finally gets up to leave.
Thirteen
Ankiza
The next day, Im called out of my third-period class so I can attend a meeting with my parents and Mr. Hess, the dean of students. As I nervously take a seat next to Mom, who is looking very serene in the black two-piece suit she usually wears to church, Dad gives me an encouraging smile. After Mr. Hess greets me, he gets right to the point. As Mr. Marshall indicated to you earlier, it is my responsibility as dean of students to handle the incident which has occurred, which will most likely entail disciplinary action. Id like to inform you that Roosevelt High School does have a Secondary School Discipline Code which addresses specific verbal and written acts of discrimination. Dad waits until Mr. Hess finishes reading the school discipline code to us. Then, raising his voice slightly, he says, With all due respect, Mr. Hess, my wife and I want to know exactly what specific steps the school is going to take to remedy the racial attack on our daughter.
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Nodding reassuringly, Mr. Hess leans forward in his chair and informs Dad that the incident has been reported to the campus resource officer, who is already conducting an investigation. In addition, he adds briskly, this week, we will be holding a special school assembly to discuss the incident with students and faculty. Mom, who has been silent until now, looks directly into Mr. Hesss pale blue eyes and asks him pointblank, Are your teachers and school administrators trained to deal with racial issues? Looking slightly annoyed, Mr. Hess doesnt give Mom a direct answer to her question. Instead, he rambles on about how this incident has made the school administration aware of the importance of making that information available to their faculty. Dad effectively chooses this moment to drop a bomb in Mr. Hesss lap. This morning I spoke with the president of the NAACP. He reassured me that he will be contacting the school very soon and that the NAACP will make every effort to become involved in the handling of this incident, so nothing like it happens again. The room is silent as Mr. Hess stares speechlessly at Dad, who has a triumphant glow on his handsome dark face. After a strained pause, Mr. Hess says, I look forward to hearing from the NAACP. I will pass this information on to Mr. Marshall. Then, forcing a smile onto his ashen face, Mr. Hess asks me if I have any questions.
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When I shake my head quietly, Dad reminds the dean of students that I am expecting a formal written apology. Embarrassed, I flash Dad a warning look while Mr. Hess nods in agreement, reminding me that if I need anything at all, to please contact him directly. After we leave Mr. Hesss office, my parents act as if they want to hang around and talk to me in the hallway, but I whisper a quick good-bye, hurrying off to my next class before any more students see me with them. Annoyed, Im sure that by the end of the day, the entire school will know about the note. And sure enough, at lunchtime, Rudy looks at me with his rugged-looking face and says, Hey, esa. I saw your parents at the school this morning. Qu pas? Are you in some kind of trouble? Im debating how to answer him, when big-mouth Rina jumps in and describes the entire episode of the nasty note. Juanita lets out a small gasp. Tyrone, who hasnt missed a single word, turns to me and says, See what happens when you date white guys. Shut up, Tyrone! Maya orders, jabbing him in the ribs with her elbow. You dont even know what youre talking about. Just then, Tommy reaches over and pats me gently on the arm, asking if theres anything he can do to help. I whisper thank you to him while I glare angrily at Tyrone. When Maya tells everyone that weve already reported the incident to the principal, Rudy grins facetiously and
Tyrone says, Yeah, babe, as if hes gonna do something about it. There is dead silence. Then Juanita gives me a warm smile and says, Dont worry, Ankiza. Were here for you. Tommy and Maya second Juanitas remark. Rina, on the other hand, gets a defiant look on her face and announces, Dont worry, girl. Theyre gonna do something about it, if they know whats good for them! All of a sudden Rudy is on his feet. Raising two fists in the air, he tells Rina, Come on, esa, well go two rounds. Shut up, pendejo, Rina tells him and we all start to laugh. By Friday, everyone at school is talking about the note, and as the day goes by, different students stop me in the hallway to ask questions or to offer their support. At first, Im embarrassed, but I slowly begin to realize that many students really do care about the awful thing that happened to me. Even students who I never talk to make it a point to offer their help. Like Jean Ornelas, who everyone calls a dyke behind her back just cause shes a lesbian. After I talk with Jean, I realize shes very nice and that we have a lot of things in common. And Im really happy when Marsea Schaller, who is Jewish and is president of the School Council, stops by my locker to tell me how horrified she is about the incident. During P.E., the principal comes on the intercom to announce that a special school assembly will be held at the end of the day. When Sheena sees how nervous this makes
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me, she whispers, Dont sweat it, Ankiza. You didnt do anything wrong. When the seventh period bell rings and its time to file into the school auditorium with my classmates, I can feel my legs weaken beneath me. I spot Hunter sitting in the front rows with a group of seniors and I get even more panicky, hurrying up the stairs to the back, where he cant possibly see me. Once everyone is seated, Mr. Marshall approaches the microphone and begins speaking. Id like to welcome everyone to this special assembly weve called to discuss a serious incident that occurred at our school this week. At this time, Id like to introduce Mr. Hess, the dean of students, who will give a brief summary of this unfortunate incident. The tension in my neck increases as Mr. Hess walks up to the podium and begins to describe the note which was left at my locker. When he gets to the part about the racial slur, the auditorium is filled with gasps. Raising his voice, Mr. Hess repeats sharply, This type of behavior is absolutely unacceptable. Furthermore, Id like to inform all students that Roosevelt does have a school disciplinary code which addresses bias-motivated infractions. If any student is caught committing such infractions, he or she will be punished according to school policy. Mr. Hess pauses briefly while a ripple of applause fills the air. Then he explains that the campus resource officer will be conducting an investigation in an attempt to uncov-
er the perpetrators of the hate speech. Naturally, Mr. Hess continues, we will begin by interviewing the seniors, since the racial slur was related to the senior prom. Now Im aware of heads turning to look at me, and I slump down in my seat, wishing I could disappear off the face of the earth. Juanita, who is sitting directly behind me, reaches down to squeeze my shoulder, saying, Dont worry, Ankiza. Everything will be all right. Before I can say anything, a loud round of applause rumbles through the auditorium as the dean of students introduces Marsea Schaller, who walks up to the podium, looking very poised and determined. A few whistles break out as Marsea lowers the microphone and begins to speak. As you all know, as the president, I represent the entire student body. And Im here today to let you all know how disturbed I am by the racial incident that happened at our school. Some of you may not know this, but Im Jewish and I know what it feels like to be attacked for who I am. I want you to know that I firmly believe in respecting all human beings, regardless of their ethnic, racial or religious background. Another loud round of applause is heard and for a few moments, I forget about my nervousness. I listen quietly, mesmerized by Marseas eloquent words. Marsea waits for the noise to die down before she continues. Id like to end by stating that the senior prom is for everyone, and that the students of Roosevelt High will not
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tolerate exclusion of anyone due to racism. We live in a diverse society and it is my strong belief that everyone merits respect and equal treatment. Thats all I wanted to say. Loud whistles and cheers resonate through the auditorium as Marsea retreats from the podium. Im filled with inspiration as rows of students stand up to applaud the end of her speech. The final speaker is Mrs. Michaels, who is very brief and to the point. She reminds students that if anyone has any information regarding this incident that they should notify her or contact one of the teachers. Mrs. Michaels concludes by emphasizing the importance of seeking out help and pulling together when problems such as this one occur. When the last bell of the day rings, the principal reappears to dismiss students who are already springing to their feet. And despite the fact that Im relieved that its all out in the open, I cant help but feel a bit nervous as I hurry back down the stairs with Juanita close behind me. Maya and Rina are waiting for us outside. Noticing my unhappy face, Maya asks, Ankiza, are you okay? What do you think? I snap back at her as we take off in the direction of our lockers. Juanita and Maya exchange a guarded look and Rina exclaims, That was a bad talk Marsea gave. I dont say anything. All I want to do is get to that school bus as quickly as I can and go back home.

When I walked into the family room, Maya was stretched out on the couch watching music videos. No date tonight? I asked taking a seat on the armchair next to her. Maya sat up, stretching out her long brown legs on the ottoman. Nope, Tyrones acting like a real jerk. Why do you say that? Maya hesitated, then, turning to look at me, she said, Hes been acting stupid, like me. There was a look on Mayas face that generally meant she had something important to say to me. I asked her to please explain what she meant. Maya drew her thick brows together and said, Mom, Ive been acting pretty stupid about your friend, Glenn. I didnt realize it until I saw how Tyrones been acting toward Ankiza cause shes dating Hunter. Then when that horrible thing happened at school to Ankiza, well, it made me think about how unfair Ive been acting.
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I was truly baffled by Mayas confession. For the past week, all I could think about was trying to get Maya to open up to me about her feelings toward Glenn. And now it was finally happening. What happened to Ankiza? I prodded gently. Reaching for the remote control to lower the sound, Maya told me how Ankiza and Hunter had been the latest gossip since he had asked her out, but that things got worse when he asked her to the senior prom. Pausing for a brief moment, Maya told me about the day Ankiza found the nasty note in her locker. Mom, Maya exclaimed, it was so disgusting. Ankiza cried and cried. When I asked Maya what the schools response had been, she frowned. The dean of students has been interviewing all the seniors this week, but no one has admitted writing the note. That doesnt surprise me, I remarked. We had a similar incident on campus last year, when someone painted a swastika on one of the dorm walls, but university officials never uncovered who did it. Nonetheless, the university now has a racial harassment policy to address this type of incident. Hows Ankiza feeling after all of this? Shes okay, I guess. The principal called a special assembly to discuss the note, and she got embarrassed. There was a slight pause, then Maya went on, Mom, Im sorry for acting so rude with Glenn. I dont know why I
acted like that . . . maybe I was comparing him to Dad. I dont know. I went over to Maya and gave her a big hug. Mija, no one will ever replace your dad. I know, Mom, Maya whispered, returning my hug. How about if we invite Glenn for dinner sometime soon so that you can get to know him. Hes really very nice. Yeah, maybe, Maya hesitated. Then she went on, Mom, since youre a professor, is there any way you can help us raise the awareness about racism at Roosevelt? Most students there are pretty ignorant, and I wish we could do something to change that. Yes, thats a good idea. As a matter of fact, last quarter we had a cultural diversity panel on campus. Maybe we could organize something similar at your school. Now Maya was smiling. Thanks, Mom. I knew youd help. Like mother, like daughter, I thought to myself, giving Maya another hug. It was nice to know that she cared so much about making a difference in other peoples lives and not just her own.
rrr
Later that evening, I decided to call Sandy so I could use her as a sounding board, especially since shed had some run-ins with Roosevelt High Schools administration
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in the past. Appalled by the hate speech that had occurred, Sandy was enthusiastic about my idea for a diversity panel. Thats a terrific idea, she agreed. And I can recommend a couple of great speakers for your panel. Remember Sam Turner, the civil rights attorney who helped Juanita several years ago when the school board was trying to expel her? Hes semi-retired but, I bet hed love to help. I can give you his number. Then theres Connie Koger. Shes an African-American teacher at San Martn High who recently wrote a book on teaching tolerance. I have her number too. Shed be a fabulous speaker for you. Sandy, youre a genius, I complimented her. Those are just the kind of speakers I need. I dont know where youd be without your comadre, Sandy teased back. She was even more pleased when I told her how Maya was starting to open up about Glenn. Mayas a good kid. Just give her time, Sandy emphasized as we ended our conversation. The next day, I called Connie Koger, but she wasnt at home, so I left a detailed message on her answering machine about the panel. Then I dialed the number Sandy had given me for Sam Turner. I was overjoyed when he answered the telephone himself. After I introduced myself as Sandys close friend and Mayas mother, I explained my reason for calling. Sam was very enthusiastic about being a speaker at Roosevelt, but he voiced his concern about my
upcoming meeting with the principal to confirm my idea for the diversity panel. The school administration will most likely try to give you the run-around, try to sweep the racial incident under the rug. They tried to do this with Juanita. But stick to your guns. If they hesitate to support your ideas, remind them that there are organizations in the community, such as the NAACP, that would love to get involved. I guarantee thatll get you their attention. Before we hung up, I thanked Sam for his advice and promised Id call him back later after confirming the date for the panel. On Monday morning, the first thing I did was schedule a one oclock appointment to meet with the principal at Roosevelt High. Several hours later, I found myself in Mr. Marshalls office, nervously introducing myself to him. After politely shaking my hand, Mr. Marshall invited me to sit down, stating, Maya is one of our best students at Roosevelt. I had no idea that her mother was a professor at Laguna University. Smiling back at Mr. Marshall, who seemed puzzled by my visit, I couldnt help but wonder if he was like most people in Laguna who thought Mexicans were farm workers or dishwashers. The smile disappeared from Mr. Marshalls face as soon as I mentioned that I was aware of the hate speech that had occurred at Roosevelt High. He replied, It was indeed an unfortunate incident. But I firmly believe that this issue has been handled properly
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and effectively. The incident has been reported to the campus officer who is now conducting an investigation. Furthermore, we have made our students aware of Roosevelts disciplinary code, which handles such incidents. It was clear that Mr. Marshall believed the racial incident had been fully resolved, but I wasnt about to give up that easily. In the most confident voice I could bring forth, I described my idea for a cultural diversity panel at Roosevelt to provide students with a forum for discussing racial incidents such as the one that had occurred. Sensing Mr. Marshalls resistance, I added, And Im certain that your students as well as your faculty would greatly benefit from such a forum. Clearing his voice, Mr. Marshall thanked me for my concern, but said, Although you have an interesting idea, it isnt necessary at this time. We have very qualified counselors who are responsible for handling any student questions that might arise. Remembering Sam Turners advice, I shifted in my seat and looked him straight in the eye. Im certain that the local chapter of the NAACP would be very interested to know that Roosevelt is not supportive of a panel discussion on cultural diversity, given the recent hate speech on your campus. A pink flush appeared on Mr. Marshalls hollow cheeks as he began to nervously fidget with his pen. After a slight pause, he said, Well, weve already been contacted by that organization, and I suppose we could cancel the pep rally
this Friday. Would that give you enough time to organize the panel? Yes, I replied, feigning an air of absolute confidence. And Ive already lined up several speakers whom Im sure you will approve of. Then, with a taste of victory, I stood up to leave, reassuring Mr. Marshall that by tomorrow, I would fax him a short description of the panel and the speakers.

The day of the cultural diversity panel, the dean of students accompanied me to the main auditorium, where a table and chairs had been set up directly in front of the bleachers for the panelists. Mr. Hess pointed out the podium and the microphone to the left of the table, where Mr. Marshall would give a brief introduction to the speakers before each came up to give their actual speeches. A few minutes later, Mr. Marshall arrived, and I could tell he was more nervous than I was by the way he kept fussing with the microphone to make sure that it was working. The moment I spotted the short gray-haired man with the briefcase who was walking across the auditorium, I knew that he was the brilliant attorney Sam Turner. As I watched him come closer, I had to smile to myself. With his dark slacks, wrinkled white cotton shirt, and no tie, Sam Turner bore a striking resemblance to TVs Lieutenant Columbo. Coming to a halt in front of me, Sam held out his hand, exclaiming, You must be the infamous Dr. Sonia Gonzales!
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Who, me? I teased back, noticing that Sam had Columbos mischievous twinkle in his blue eyes. I shook his hand, then I introduced him to Mr. Marshall and Mr. Hess. While I listened to Sam make small talk with the two school administrators, I noticed a tall, distinguished-looking African-American woman entering the auditorium. She was carrying a brown leather briefcase with a large book bag, which was bulging at the sides. Connie Koger, I thought to myself, as she approached me. I was instantly relieved that both of my speakers had arrived on time. I do hope Im not late, Connie mumbled as we introduced ourselves, but I quickly reassured her that she was right on time. I was in the middle of introducing Connie to Sam Turner and the two adminstrators when a bell went off and all of a sudden, groups of noisy students started to come into the auditorium. Mr. Marshall indicated it was time for us to take a seat at the table, and then asked me who would be the first speaker on the panel. When Sam offered to go first, I quickly agreed with him. From what Sandy had told me, Sam was a powerful speaker who would set the tone for our panel discussion. I then asked Connie if she would follow Sam, and she nodded in agreement. This meant that I would be the last to speak, and it would give me the chance to make the closing statements. At the podium, Mr. Marshall tapped his pen noisily into the microphone while he waited for students to quiet down. After welcoming everyone to the assembly, Mr. Marshall
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stated that Roosevelt High School was honored to have a panel of guest speakers who would be sharing their thoughts on cultural diversity with the student body this afternoon. Then, without any reference to the hate speech, he proceeded to give a brief introduction to Sam Turner, emphasizing Sams prominence as a former civil-rights attorney from Georgia. A loud round of applause resonated through the auditorium as Sam stood up and approached the podium. I watched in awe as the short Columbo look-alike leaned into the microphone and began speaking in a powerful voice. Im not here today to talk about my life from the perspective of an attorney, but rather from that of a human being. Id like to begin by recounting a very personal experience in my life that shaped my perspective, taught me the value of justice and equality, and showed me I need not succumb to hate, fear or vengeance. As Mr. Marshall stated, my parents owned a small farm in Georgia, where I was born and raised. On that farm, there was a black family by the name of Evanston. They lived in a small shack on our property and always helped my father in the fields. Although we were segregated back then, I developed a close friendship with their oldest son, Nelson, whom I considered one of my best friends when I was growing up. But one day my relationship with Nelson would change forever. Now Sam paused to clear his throat, and as I gazed into the audience, it was obvious that they were as mesmerized as I was by Sams story.
Ill never forget that morning, Sam went on. I was fourteen years old and my father had dropped me off at Mr. Thomas barber shop. It was the only barber shop in town, and it was an all-white place. I remember I was sitting there, bored, getting my haircut while Mr. Thomas talked with his customers. The door opened and Nelson walked inside. The room became deathly quiet as everyone stared at him. Mr. Thomas stopped for a moment to ask Nelson, What do you think youre doing in here, boy? Nelson didnt hesitate. He looked Mr. Thomas straight in the eye and said, I come to get a haircut. Several of the customers who were waiting for a haircut started to laugh and Mr. Thomas scolded Nelson, ordering him to get out. Before he even had time to move, two of the white men who were laughing, grabbed him and pushed him outside. I watched in horror through the window as one of the men held Nelsons arms behind his back while the other one pounded his fists into Nelsons face. Just then, a police officer appeared and the two men let go of Nelson. A few minutes later, the police officer came into the barber shop, holding Nelson tightly by the arm. Nelsons left eye was badly cut and blood was spilling from his mouth. The police officer said, I was about to arrest this boy for disturbing the peace, but he claims these two men started the fight. Did anyone here see what happened? The room was silent again as Mr. Thomas shook his head. I could feel the rage in Nelson as he stared up at me. But I didnt say a word. I was afraid to say anything. I was afraid for myself, afraid of the two men
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who were glaring at me. Several days later, Nelson was found dead in a field with a gunshot wound to his head. The police claimed it was suicide. But I knew it was a lie. I knew the truth. Sam paused to take a drink of water. I looked around me and I knew that Sams story had penetrated the hearts of every person in the audience. Clearing his voice a few times, Sam began speaking again. This was my first experience of injustice and racism and, although it was a tragic one, I learned an important lesson that day about human rights. I swore to myself that I would always speak out to uphold the truth. It was then I decided I would become an attorney so that I could strive to make this a more equal society for all people. Applause rippled through the audience. Sam paused, waiting for it to die down. After law school, he continued, I became actively involved in many civil rights cases in which I defended African-Americans whose rights were being violated. One of my first and most important civil rights case was in Texas, where I assisted Morris Dees in defending Vietnamese fishermen against the Texas Knights of the Ku Klux Klan. Other cases, although not as widely publicized, had to do with the killings and lynchings of black people by the Klan. Im not going to discuss these cases, but I do want to reiterate that they have all been about human rights, about respecting all human beings. Sam paused for a moment to take another drink of water. Then, raising his voice slightly, he went on. There
are ways we should treat people and ways we shouldnt. I learned this at an early age from my parents, who were Baptists. They got me involved in church activities and in helping people, white and black, in our communites and taught me to treat all people fairly and respectfully. Acts of intolerance, such as the hate speech that happened here at Roosevelt, represent fear and ignorance. People who commit acts of hate perceive any difference as an implicit threat. This is the way they have been conditioned to think and feel. Before I leave you today, I want to emphasize that it is of the utmost importance that we concentrate on the overwhelming similarities we have as human beings. I further challenge each and every one of you to build a strong moral code that does not excuse or accept hatred on any grounds, for as Dr. Martin Luther King stated, Violence begets violence, hate begets hate. Thank you very much. Loud cheers mixed with applause filled the auditorium as Sam left the podium and came back to our table. I gave Sam the thumbs up signal and Connie leaned over to whisper to him, Youre a hard act to follow. Back at the podium, Mr. Marshall introduced Connie Koger as an innovative teacher who was this years recipient of the NEAs Teacher of the Year Award for her original video titled Rainbow Voices. He went on to praise Connie for her years of teaching in some of the most impoverished school districts in Los Angeles County, where she had served as a leading role model for African-American
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youths. When Connie finally approached the podium, she was greeted with a warm round of applause. Growing up as a poor black woman in southern California, she began, I was exposed to racism at a very young age. In the schools I attended, I was never taught anything about the beauty of my African heritage. Subsequently, I grew up with very low self-esteem, and throughout my high school years, it was a struggle believing I could ever amount to much of anything. It wasnt until one of my English teachers turned me on to the works of Langston Hughes, that I was able to truly value my heritage. It is my firm belief that in order to build a better society, we teachers must encourage our students to celebrate cultural diversity. We need to create an atmosphere in the classroom where students can talk about their ethnic heritage, about their cultural values and racial experiences. In doing so, we will learn to honor and respect people of all cultures. For it is only by honoring and respecting our ethnic and racial identities that we can truly foster a better understanding and appreciation of who we are as human beings. Connie was forced to pause while the audience clapped, and after a moment or two, she continued. The teacher is the greatest role-model. In the classroom, she can acknowledge and value a students history, her sense of self. At San Martn High School where I currently teach, we have a diverse group of studentsAnglos, Chicanos, Vietnamese, African-Americansand our school curriculum clearly
reflects this cultural diversity. In many of our Liberal Arts classes, teachers use literature that offers a new perspective to students, one that allows students to experience the world through someone elses eyes. In other courses, like Computer Graphics, teachers have their students design and produce posters which reflect their feelings about cultural diversity. Several of our art classes assign students projects which encourage them to research their ancestral background. All of these different classroom activities at San Martn High serve to create a better understanding and awareness among students about cultural diversity. It is only by teaching acceptance that we can hope to eradicate acts of intolerance like the one that happened on your campus. One of the main reasons why I developed Rainbow Voices was to provide a tool for teachers and students to talk candidly about issues of race and ethnicity in the classroom. Most teachers are afraid to bring up these issues in the classroom because they dont have the tools to do it. Rainbow Voices provides the tool for teachers and students to examine stereotypes, prejudice and acts of intolerance. In order to create a more tolerant and accepting society, students must be able to openly talk about these issues and to examine their biases. Connies closing statements set off another loud round of applause. Shes quite a woman, Sam whispered, and I nodded, completely spellbound by the powerful black woman who had just inspired a roomful of students.

The moment had arrived for me to go up to the podium, and glancing at my watch, I realized I needed to make my speech as brief as possible. Noticing my uneasiness, Connie tapped me on the arm, saying, Dont worry. We saved the best for last. I smiled back at her, hoping she was right. When Mr. Marshall told the students that I was Maya Gonzales mother, a couple of loud cheers rang out and someone yelled out, Orale, Dr. Gonzales! At the podium, I told the audience jokingly, Its nice to have some fans in the audience, and a few more cheers were heard. Staring steadily into the audience, I began, I remember when I first arrived at Laguna University and I had to teach my first classes. I was a nervous wreck, unsure of my abilities, but a dear friend of mine, who had been teaching there for many years, told me, Sonia, teach yourself. The best teachers are those who teach themselves. To this day, I have not forgotten those words of wisdom which embody
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my philosophy of teaching as an Ethnic Studies professor at Laguna University. In the classroom, I have always strived to teach young people like yourselves to respect and value people of all ethnic backgrounds. And as Connie Koger has beautifully stated, it is so necessary that we learn about who we are as individuals, that we appreciate our unique cultural backgrounds. In my Chicano Studies courses at Laguna University, I begin by teaching the history of Chicanos in the United States. My students are shocked to learn that some Chicanos, like African-Americans, were also lynched during the nineteenth century, that they endured similar discrimination. Using essays, poetry and fiction, I expose students to the rich cultural history of Chicanos. In doing so, I draw parallels with my own Navajo and Mexican ancestry, as well as with that of other peoples who have shared similar experiences. As Sam Turner and Connie Koger have eloquently stated this afternoon, if we are to create a better society, we must celebrate not only our differences but also our similarities. I paused for a moment or two while students applauded. But my courses at Laguna University are not only about celebrating ethnic diversity. They also provide students with a forum for discussing acts of intolerance. In my Introduction to Racism course, we have candid discussions about stereotypes, racism and related issues. Students learn how cultural isolation promotes stereotyping and biased thinking. Students in my classes learn how they
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have been conditioned to dismiss racism because they have not experienced it personally, let alone discussed it. We discuss specific acts of exclusion that many individuals experience on a daily basis. I even relate events from my own life, like what it felt like as a young girl to be called derogatory names like spic and greaser, what it felt like to grow up with restaurant signs that read No Mexicans Allowed. By the end of the quarter, students experience a heightened sensitivity and they also discover that we are not as different as we may think we are. They learn that justice and equality can only be achieved if we work together by respecting all human beings. Only then can we truly respect others. As the auditorium thundered with applause, I thanked everyone and then retreated back to my seat. Mr. Marshall was in the middle of making his closing statements about the cultural diversity panel when the bell went off, so he quickly dismissed the students, who were anxious to go home. Connie and Sam complimented me and the dean of students came by to congratulate me on a successful panel. Then we were surrounded by teachers who wanted to know if they could purchase a copy of Connies video. I was gathering up my notes when I heard a familiar voice. You were awesome, Mom, Maya said, coming around to my side. Her sentiments were echoed by Juanita, who greeted me warmly. I smiled, giving them each a hug.
When Sam spotted Juanita, he abruptly excused himself from the teachers he had been talking with, and came over to us. Wearing his Columbo grin, Sam looked into Juanitas almond-shaped eyes and said, So nice to see you, young lady. Ive heard some good things about you. Juanitas face broke into a smile as wide as the Grand Canyon, revealing her two large dimples. Hi, she exclaimed, returning Sams embrace. I introduced Maya to Sam, who shook her hand and said, I heard those loud cheers when your name was mentioned. You must be a very popular girl. But of course! Maya replied, her face beaming from Sams compliment. Im a superstar like my mom! Humble, just like her mother. Right, Sam? I said, smiling at Mayas smug remark. Nothing wrong with that, Sam answered, turning his attention back to Juanita. How are your parents? Theyre doing good, Juanita answered. My dad might be getting a new job. Thats great news. Tell them hello for me. Junita nodded as Sam went on, And by the way, young lady, Im expecting an invitation to your graduation next year. Have you made any college plans? Juanitas eyes sparkled like stardust as she explained to Sam that she had already met with the counselor to discuss scholarships. Pleased, Sam then asked Maya about her college plans, and Maya explained that she and Ankiza were both applying to Stanford.
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Where is Ankiza? I suddenly thought to ask. Ankiza and Maya always rode the bus home together, so it seemed odd that she wasnt anywhere in sight. I wanted to introduce her to Sam and Connie. Now Maya was frowning. Sorry, Mom. Ankiza decided to stay home today. I guess she was embarrassed to be at the assembly and have everyone stare at her again. I dont blame her for not coming, Juanita confessed. Sam and I exchanged a brief look. We knew Juanita was thinking back to her own embarrassment when the fight with Sheena was the focus of attention. Well, I hope she feels better, Sam said. The worst thing about racial incidents is the pain they inflict on the victims. Mom, can we give Juanita a ride home? Maya suddenly interrupted. Dont worry, young ladies, Sam answered. Ill make sure you both get home one way or another. They dont call me Lieutenant Columbo for nothing! Maya and Juanita started to giggle, and I reminded Sam that we needed to wait for Connie, who was still frantically selling copies of her video to all the teachers waiting patiently in line to meet her.
Seventeen
Ankiza
On Monday morning, Hunter is waiting for me at my locker. Ankiza, I tried calling all weekend, but couldnt get through to you. We need to talk. Can you meet me at lunchtime? Sorry, I cant, I mumble, stepping around him. But Hunter is persistent. He grabs me by the arm and says, Whats wrong, Ankiza? I turn to face him, pulling myself free from his grasp. After everything thats happened, I dont think I should go to the prom with you. Sadness envelops his clear blue eyes and Im forced to look away before he can see my own tears. With shaky fingers, I start to dial my locker combination and as I reach inside for my books, Hunter pleads with me. Please dont talk like that, Ankiza. I want you and only you to go as my date, and Im sticking to that. Have to go or Ill be late for first period, I hastily reply, ignoring Hunters pleading voice.
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Ill call you tonight! Hunter yells out to me as I take off down the noisy corridor. The tardy bell rings just as I get to my Science class, which turns out to be long and boring, since Mr. Burns lectures on atomic energy for the entire period. Im plagued with worries about Hunter and the senior prom. Sometimes I feel like it was all a bad dream, that I never really found the note. Yet I know Im only fooling myself. And when I find myself on the brink of tears, I remember what my friends told me: Dont let it get to you, Ankiza. Dont stoop to their level. I keep repeating these words over and over in my head. In Health Ed, Im finally able to examine my feelings about everything thats happened to me since the day I read those horrible words. Once were all seated and quiet, Mrs. Channing, informs us that were going to watch the video Rainbow Voices, which she purchased from Fridays speaker. She then explains that its about teaching tolerance. When Jerry Davenport, who is the class whiner, asks Mrs. Channing why we have to watch it, Jean Ornelas gives him a dirty look and says, So that we can learn something, pendejo. Mrs. Channing cant help but smile and several students start to laugh. Rainbow Voices turns out to be very dramatic. Its made up of three separate skits, and all of the acting is done by high school students. The first skit is about Carrie, an Anglo-American who starts to date an African-American
guy. When Carries mother witnesses her daughter giving Harvey a kiss as she gets out of his car, she confronts her daughter about it. They have a heated discussion and Carries anger erupts when her mother refers to Harvey as colored. Carrie accuses her mother of being a racist, and the mother defends herself by saying that its better to stick to your own kind. The skit ends with Carrie storming out of the room in tears, threatening to run away from home. The next skit shows a group of Latinos who are standing around the front of the high school talking. When Marcos, who is in one of their classes, walks by with another guy, they start to taunt him behind his back. Bobby, who appears to be the leader of the group, flips his hand back and starts to mimic the way Marcos walks. Someone whistles at Marcos and one of the Latinas in the group, tells Bobby, Now youre a joto, too. Another Latino says, Yeah, queer boy, and everyone starts to laugh. The last skit is about a Filipina student named Vivian. When the scene opens, Vivian is in the school cafeteria having lunch with three Anglo-Americans. Theyre having fun talking about their classes. After a few minutes, the scene changes and Vivian is at her locker, when she is suddenly confronted by two girls. What are you, a coconut? asks Grace, who is Chinese-American. Then the other girl, Elena, who is a dark-skinned Latina, accuses Vivian of thinking shes too good to hang out with brown people. Vivian hesitates, but after a few seconds decides to speak out. I have a lot of different friends, she blurts out
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angrily. White, brown, black . . . I dont pick them by the color of their skin! Then Vivian turns around and flees to the nearest bathroom, where she bursts into tears. Just then, Erin, a friend from one of Vivians classes, who has witnessed the entire incident, walks into the bathroom and tells Vivian, I saw what happened with Elena and Grace. You did the right thing standing up to them. Relief spreads across Vivians face as the scene comes to an end. Turning the VCR off, Mrs. Channing asks the class what they thought of the skits. Julio Ramrez, who is always very quiet, is the first one to speak. In a thick Spanish accent, he tells Mrs. Channing that he knows exactly what its like to be treated different. He confesses that other kids make fun of him because his English isnt perfect and that even though hes from Nicaragua, they tell him to go back to Mexico. A couple of Chicanos in the class sympathize with Julio, saying theyve been called greasers and spics as far back as elementary school. Then Mrs. Channing interrupts to ask the class, How do you think a person should respond when someone calls them derogatory names like coconut or spic? Rina yells out, Punch them in the face! When someone yells out, Way to go, Rina Schwarzenegger! the tension in the room diminishes and laughter fills the air. Then Lupe Morales raises her hand to say, Id stick up for myself like Vivian did. Then Id go tell a teacher what happened.
Billy Thompson, who seems to be very uneasy with the entire discussion, raises his hand and says, Why is it that white people are always made to look like the bad guys? Because we act like it, thats why, Karen Morris quickly answers him. Most of the time were the ones making the racist remarks. Not me, Billy replies defensively. All the while, I stay in the background, refusing to give my opinion, but Billys sarcasm finally gets to me. I look him directly in the eye and say, Sometimes its not what a person says that makes us feel degraded, but how they act, like were not as smart or dont belong in their clubs. My heart is pumping wildly as several students in the class speak up in agreement with me. Just then, the bell goes off and Mrs. Channing quickly summarizes our discussion by stating, Its important to acknowledge that many times were not aware of our own prejudices. Its only by becoming aware of them that we can learn to create positive changes and hopefully make a difference in society. See you tomorrow.
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By lunchtime, the entire school is buzzing with talk about Rainbow Voices, and those students who havent seen it are asking their teachers when theyll be viewing it. I cant believe it, Maya says while were having lunch at the football field. Its the first time Ive ever heard so much discussion about racism at Roosevelt.
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Tommy, who is between Sheena and Rina says, Yeah, and I think it was so cool that your mom organized that panel. You know, Sheena says, biting into her sandwich, most of the time us whites, well, we never talk about racism. We pick up things from our parents and we dont even realize that what were saying or doing is wrong until something happens to make us see it. When Sheena and Juanita exchange an understanding look, I know that theyre both thinking about that awful fight they once had. But its not just Anglos who are prejudiced, Sheena, Maya interjects, glancing at Tyrone, who pretends he doesnt get the point. I wait for Tyrone to make some kind of wisecrack, but he doesnt. Are you still goin to the prom with Hunter? Rina asks, bringing me back to the moment at hand. Im not sure, I answer, aware that Tyrones dark eyes are on me now. Any minute, Im expecting him to make some stupid remark about why I shouldnt go to the prom with Hunter. But for the second time today, Tyrone surprises me by keeping his big mouth shut. Tommy, who has been listening attentively to everything Ive said, tells me he thinks I should stand up for myself and go with Hunter to the prom just as I had planned.
Maya nods in agreement and Rudy says, Dont worry, esa, everythings gonna be cool. Yeah, eyza, Sheena agrees, trying to imitate Rudys Spanish pronunciation. Make those Barbie girls pee in their pants with envy. I smile at Sheena and then Rudy accuses her of sounding like Mrs. Plumb, the Spanish teacher. Rina suddenly jumps up and starts to do a hysterical imitation of Mrs. Plumb, pulling up her bra strap, and we forget all about the prom.
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When I get home from school, I join Mom and Dad in the family room. Athena is out in the back yard playing with her friend, Crystal, who lives across the street. Hi, Princess, Dad greets me cheerfully. Hes looking very relaxed in a dark blue Polo shirt with matching shorts. Golf day? I ask, plopping down on the love seat. You must be psychic, Dad answers, teasingly. Mom looks up from her magazine to ask how my day went. I take a slow deep breath. Then I tell them about Rainbow Voices, describing each of the three skits as well as the conversation we had in class after the film ended. When I pause, Dad admits how glad he is that the school is making an effort to raise student awareness about racism. Mom nods in agreement. Then she looks at me oddly, asking if anything else happened at school that I want to talk about.
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Theres something telepathic about moms. They always seem to know when something is going on. I hesitate for a moment, then I say, Im not sure if I should still go to the prom with Hunter. Listen, Princess, Dad begins, I know I havent been very understanding about you and Hunter. But I was only being cautious. I behaved rudely and Id like to make it up to you. In shock, I stammer, Do you really mean that, Dad? Yes, I do, Princess. Your mom and I were talking and wed like to invite Hunter for a barbecue on Saturday. I spring from the love seat and sing out, Thanks, Dad. Im calling Hunter right now so I can tell him about it! As I race downstairs to my room, I feel as if a hundredpound sack has been lifted off my shoulders.
Eighteen
Ankiza
On Tuesday, Im in the P.E. locker room getting dressed when Sheena whispers, Red alert! There are two Barbies headed in our direction. I look up just as Louise and another girl, who could pass for Louises twin if it werent for the blond hair, come to a halt in front of me. Louise smiles and asks, Ankiza, I was wondering if youd like to come to a party at my house Friday night? Taken aback by Louises invitation, I stare at her in bafflement, wondering if shes playing a sick joke. When Louise repeats her invitation in the most sincere tone Ive ever heard her use, I know shes absolutely serious. Well, what do you say? she insists when I keep staring at her. It would be great if you came. Sorry, I cant, I reply, noticing the look of triumph spreading across Sheenas face. Oh, too bad. Maybe next time, Louise exclaims in a good-natured way. Then, she adds, Tina and I are going to
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the mall on Saturday to shop for prom dresses. How about joining us? Tina is smiling at me while Louise waits for my answer. But this time, Im really shocked. Who wouldve thought Id get two invitations from Louise all in one day? Thanks, I finally answer, but Mom and I are driving to Santa Barbara next weekend to look around. Louise nods and Tina says, Make sure you go to Camilles. They have the sexiest dresses. As soon as theyre gone, Sheena purses her lips and in a high-pitched squeaky voice, she mimics Louise: Make sure you go to Camilles. I cant help but let a few giggles escape at Sheenas crudeness as she goes on to say, What a bunch of hypocrites. I bet theyre the ones who wrote you that note, those sludges. Shut up, Sheena, I tell her, picking up my gym bag and turning to leave. Whats with you? Sheena asks, catching up to me as I open the door.
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At lunchtime on Thursday, Hunter meets me at my locker and we walk to the main quad, where we sit down on the grass to eat together. When I mention my invitations from Louise, Hunter is baffled. After a moment of silence, he says, Who knows, maybe they learned something from the speakers or from the video weve all been seeing.
I nod, hoping Hunter is right. Then he changes topics and in a very gentle voice, asks, Ankiza, have you made your mind up about the prom? We stare deeply into each others eyes and there is a kind of magical silence that swirls around us, lifting us high up into the clear blue sky. Yes, Hunter. Id very much like to go with you, I whisper at last, breaking the quiet moment that has enveloped us. Hunter yells, All right! and a couple of heads turn to stare at us, but Hunter doesnt seem to even notice. He reaches over and gives me a light kiss on the lips. Just then, Maya and Tyrone come walking up to us. Slightly embarrassed, I mutter hello to Maya as she lets her skinny body fall on the grass next to me. Hey, whats kickin? Tyrone asks Hunter, who smiles back at him and explains that were talking about our prom date. Thats cool, Tyrone exclaims, without a single word of criticism. Then Maya turns to me and says, Ty and I were wondering if you two would like to double-date with us next weekend. The new Austin Powers movie will be out. I cant believe what I am hearing. A double-date after the creepy way Tyrone has acted about my dating Hunter? Well, what do you say, Ankiza? Maya asks, pleadingly. Hunter looks at me and says, Sounds like fun to me.
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Cool, Tyrone says, and then we all start talking about last nights Laker game. That evening after dinner, I tell Mom about the nice things that happened at school. Mom is very happy for me, and shes even happier when I tell her I let Hunter know that I would definitely attend the prom with him. Then we make plans for our shopping trip to Santa Barbara. When Mom agrees to let me bring Maya along as a dress consultant, I race to my room to call her. We spend the next hour discussing the type of gown I should buy. Tight and sexy is what you need, girl. Gotta show off that bod! Maya insists, mentioning the prom fashions in the latest issue of Seventeen.
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When Saturday afternoon rolls around, Im eager to help Mom get ready for the barbecue. Athena is excited because I let her help fix the salad. I seat her next to me and put her to work slicing cucumbers and tomatoes. Its fun watching her chop them up in different sizes, but its annoying having to clean up the mess she makes. At five oclock, Dad gets home from the hospital. After he changes into some comfortable clothes, he goes out to the deck to light the grill and get ready to barbecue the chicken. Dad loves to barbecue. He says it relaxes him, but Mom likes to tease him because thats the only thing he can cook. Then, while Mom prepares Spanish rice, Athena and I set the patio table.
Hunter arrives at exactly six, and the minute Athena sees him, she grabs on to his hand, begging him to read her a book. I warn her to stop bugging him, but her face lights up like a firefly when Hunter promises to read to her after we eat. Hunter says hello to Mom as we walk through the kitchen and out onto the deck. Dad looks up from the grill to greet Hunter, adding, I hope youre hungry! Dad always barbecues enough chicken for an army, I warn Hunter who admits that his dad does the same thing. I offer Hunter a Coke and, when Dad announces that its time to eat, I help Mom bring out the rest of the food to the table. Athena insists on sitting next to Hunter. Mom warns him that shell talk his ear off, but Hunter says he doesnt mind. When Hunter praises the chicken, Athena blurts out, My dads the best cook in the world! We all laugh at Athenas comment, but I can tell that dad is secretly pleased by Hunters compliment. Were almost finished eating when Dad clears his voice and looks directly at Hunter. I know I acted very critical when you first came to the house and I found out you were Ankizas date. Well, I wanted to apologize for my rude behavior, he confesses. There is a warmth in Hunters voice as he replies, Thats okay, Mr. Fife. I understand. If I had a daughter as beautiful as Ankiza, Id be just as protective.
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I exchange a quick glance with Hunter, who turns back to Dad and adds, I only wish my parents were as understanding as you, Mr. Fife. Have your parents been giving you a rough time? Dad asks. Hunter nods, frowning slightly. I just dont understand them. But Ive made it clear that Ill date whoever I want, whenever I want. And even my sister, Carol, backs me up on this. Be patient with your parents, Hunter, Mom says sympathetically. It took my own parents the longest time to accept the fact that I was dating an African-American. Dad gazes lovingly at Mom and says, And now they cant get enough of me! Hunter and I exchange another look as I go on to tell Dad, Yeah, right, Dad. But your moms right, Ankiza, it took a very long time for them to come around. Just then, Athena, who has finally finished her drumstick, interrupts to ask if its time to roast marshmallows. Dad nods and Athena squeals, racing off to get the bag of marshmallows from the kitchen. When Mom gets up, Hunter insists on helping her clear the table. I can tell that he has scored some major points with mom when he goes on to explain that ever since he was little, his Mom made him help out in the kitchen. Mom smiles, glancing over at Dad, who is helping Athena roast
a marshmallow. Then, in a loud voice, she sighs, At least some men are trained properly! By the time the barbecue ends and its time for Hunter to leave, I know that the air has been cleared with my dad. And when I walk Hunter to the front door, he tells me, Your parents are great, Ankiza. Yes, I think so too, I answer, wishing everyone could have parents like mine.

There was a light fluttering in my stomach at the sound of the doorbell. Turning to Maya, who was in charge of setting the table for dinner, I quickly mumbled, Ill get it. Then I hurried out to the living room, hoping that this evening Maya would come away with a more favorable opinion of Glenn. The instant I opened the door, Glenn placed a bouquet of bright yellow roses in my hand. These are for you, he said, smiling. Thank you, I sighed, inviting Glenn into the family room, where he took a seat on the couch. Just then, Maya came walking into the room. As she said hello to Glenn, he stood up to hand her a single yellow rose he had been mysteriously hiding. This ones for you, he exclaimed. Tyrone is going to get jealous, I teased Maya, who was flashing Glenn a radiant smile, thanking him for the present. When Maya took a seat on the opposite end of the couch, I turned my attention back to Glenn and said, Im
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going to put these in a vase. How about a glass of wine before dinner? Sure, Id love one, Glenn answered. Can I have one too, Mom? Maya teased. I frowned at her as I took off into the kitchen. When I returned a few minutes later, Maya and Glenn were deep in the middle of a discussion. Mom, Maya informed me as I handed Glenn his glass of wine, Glenn was saying that in Europe kids drink wine at the dinner table all the time. Youve been to Europe? I asked Glenn, ignoring Mayas persistent nagging. With a long face, Maya groaned, See, Glenn, thats what Mom does when she doesnt want to answer me: she changes the subject. Glenn took pity on Maya, telling her that his own mother used to do the same thing. Then he came back to my question, explaining that the summer after graduation, he had worked and saved enough money to take a trip to France. From there, I traveled to other countries, like Germany and Italy. Wish I could go to Europe someday, Maya sighed wistfully. Some of the greatest artists have lived there. Maybe one day you will, mija, I agreed with Maya, who went on to add that shed have to invite Juanita and Ankiza, since they were her best friends. Glenn and I shared a quick look of amusement at Mayas plans.
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After a few more minutes of conversation, we finally went into the kitchen to eat. Before she sat at the table with us, Maya placed her rose in a small vase and hurried off to find the perfect place for it in her bedroom. While we ate, Glenn raved about my lasagna, admitting it had been weeks since hed had a home-cooked meal. When Maya asked, Dont you know how to cook? Glenn smiled, confessing that it was easier to eat fast-food instead of cooking for one person. There was a short pause before Maya started up the conversation again with questions about Glenns family background. As Glenn talked about his parents and two younger sisters, I was pleased to see that Maya was taking a sincere interest in Glenns life. After a few minutes, Maya exclaimed with a heavy sadness in her voice, I wish I had brothers and sisters. But Glenn promptly assured her that they could be a pain sometimes. Yeah, thats what my friend, Johnny, always says, Maya concluded. Glenn went on to tell Maya one funny story after another about childhood pranks he would play on his youngest sister. But I couldnt do that with my older sister, Glenn ended. She was much bigger than me and could beat me up easily. Sounds like my friend, Rina, Maya smiled. Shes always threatening to beat up the guys when they get out of line.
We stopped talking for a few seconds while I served Glenn his third helping of lasagna. After a few mouthfuls, he surprised Maya by asking her if the students at Roosevelt had enjoyed Rainbow Voices. How did you know we saw the video? Maya asked, raising her thick eyebrows. Connie Koger teaches at my school. Isnt she great? She reminds me of Dolores Huertaa born leader. Yeahshe was terrific, Maya said, her dark eyes shining like a star-lit evening sky. It was obvious from her response that she was impressed that Glenn had mentioned Dolores Huerta, who happened to be one of her heroes. At my urging, Maya recounted some of the responses from the students in her English class who had seen Rainbow Voices. When she was finished, Glenn exclaimed, Connie has created a great educational tool. It really inspires a great reaction from students. The conversation suddenly switched to Mayas college plans. Maya told Glenn she was planning on getting a B.A. in Art so that she could become an art teacher. When Glenn asked Maya if she liked to draw, Maya pointed to the still life on the wall behind us and told Glenn it had received first prize in an art contest. Glenn praised Maya for her use of color and, when he asked if he could see more of her drawings, she nodded. As soon as we were finished eating, Maya raced off to her room while Glenn and I went into the family room.
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Five minutes later, Maya reappeared with some pen and ink drawings and her sketch book. Her face beamed as she showed off her artwork to Glenn, who asked about the motivation behind each piece. I cringed when Maya came to a large pen and ink sketch she had done of me on my birthday last year. That looks just like your mom, Glenn said admiringly. Maya looked up at me and said, See, Mom. I told you it did. She has too many wrinkles, I teased, but Glenn shook his head at me, saying I looked perfect. When Maya finally left the room, Glenn turned to me and said, Mayas a great kid. You must be very proud of her. Yes, I am, I answered. And Im so glad shes finally acting normal. I had to laugh as Glenns face took on a contorted look. Normal? he repeated in a shrill voice. Are you crazy, Sonia? Theres no such thing as a normal teenager!
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The next morning, I was sitting in the front room with my cup of coffee and the Los Angeles Times, when Maya paused for a few seconds at the front door to tell me, Mom, that Glenn guys not so bad.
Thanks, mija, I replied as Maya raced out the door to meet Ankiza. I have to call Sandy and tell her, I thought to myself, reaching for the telephone to dial her number. As soon as Sandys voice came on the line, I told her all about last nights successful evening with Maya and Glenn. Sandy was happy to hear the good news, but she also reminded me that it was only the beginning, and that it would take time and patience. Yes, comadre, I teased, then reminded Sandy that I had once completed a minor in psychology. Sandys laughter filled the phone. And when I went on to admit that I was still somewhat hesitant about the age difference between Glenn and me, Sandy scolded me, Now Dr. Gonzales, this is something you need to work out in your own head, since it obviously doesnt bother anyone but you. I suppose so, I sighed, knowing that Sandy was probably right. Nonetheless, I knew all too well about the double standard with regard to aging. Sandys next remark snapped me back to attention. Sam Turner called me. He was raving about the success of your diversity panel at Roosevelt High. Yes, it was a huge success, I replied, going on to explain how Connies Rainbow Voices had sparked a lot of discussion among the students. Thats what its all about, Sandy repeated.
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We talked for a few more minutes about the panel and, before we hung up, Sandy told me that Sam had said he would be getting in touch with me very soon.

On Wednesday, I was in my office going through a stack of mail, when there was a light tapping on the door. I spun around in my chair to find Sam Turner standing at my doorway. Hello Professor Gonzales, he greeted me as I stood up to shake his hand. Just finished a meeting with a client on campus and thought you might need a break. What a nice surprise, I said, smiling. I was just starting to get hungry. Why dont we walk to the campus store. We can get something to eat and sit outside in the sun. Sam quickly agreed, so I grabbed my wallet and we took off down the hallway and out of the faculty office building. When we got to the campus store, it took us almost ten minutes to get through the long lines of students, and pay for our sandwiches and soft drinks. We were about to give up looking for a place to sit out on the patio when two students stood up to leave. We hurried over and grabbed their table before anyone could beat us to it. Just as I was about to bite into my turkey sandwich, two
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students came walking up to our table. I recognized Marisol Garca from my Chicano Studies course last quarter. Dr. Gonzales, Im so excited! Marisol exclaimed as I put my sandwich down to give her a hug. Im student teaching at San Martn this quarter and Im doing a cultural unit on Chicanos. Thats terrific, I replied, taking a moment to introduce Marisol and her friend, whose name was Xochitl, to Sam. Marisol and I talked for a few more minutes about her students, then she quickly interrupted me, saying that she had to rush off to her next class. Nice kid. I can tell she admires you a great deal, Sam said after Marisol and Xochitl left. I nodded, telling Sam how proud I was of Marisol since she was the first in a migrant family of six to graduate from the university. Just then, we were interrupted by Alma Torres, a Puerto Rican student from my Introduction to Ethnic Studies course. Maestra, Alma said, her dark eyes looking troubled. I was wondering if I could come by and talk to you today. Of course, you can. Is everything all right? A grief-stricken look appeared on Almas round face as she confessed that her parents, who lived in Salinas, were experiencing some serious problems. And I wanted to talk to you about them, Alma sighed. When I told Alma that Id be in my office after two oclock, she shook her head, explaining that her last lab
ended at six oclock. Well, then, can you come by the house this evening? Alma nodded, giving me a smile of relief. Then, as Sam watched in amusement, I gave Alma my home address and telephone number. After she was gone, Sam turned to look at me with his smoky blue eyes and said, Dr. Gonzales, it has come to my attention that youre a VIP on this campus. I smiled at Sam, recognizing the same mischievous twinkle in his eyes that Id seen the day of the diversity panel. Im sure Sandy told you that Im one of a few professors of color on this campus, so most of the time I function as the mam for the ethnic students who have a hard time adjusting or being away from their family and community. Sam was in total agreement with me. Yes, Im certain it has to be difficult for them coming to a strange new campus. But Im very pleased to see that these young people have you as a mentor and role-model. Sandra speaks very highly of your hard work and dedication on this campus. I thanked Sam for the compliment, taking a few minutes to praise him for his own contributions in helping underrepresented groups. Then we started talking about the cultural diversity panel at Roosevelt. When I thanked Sam again for all his help, he responded, It was all my pleasure, Sonia. It sounds like it was very beneficial to the students there as well as to the school administration.
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I agreed. It was so successful that Ive received an invitation from the dean of students to give an in-service workshop for their staff on how to incorporate multiculturalism into their Liberal Arts program. Can you believe they havent done this already? Yes, I can. The community here is very resistant to change. But despite all that, good things do come about. As a result of your panel, Ive been working closely with the local chapter of the NAACP. Theyve asked me to assist them in revising Roosevelts racial harassment policy so that it will include a step-by-step procedure on how to respond to acts of intolerance. As it stands, Roosevelts policy is not very precise. Im so glad to hear this, Sam. We were all so afraid that the school administration would ignore everything that happened. Yes, and thats a valid fear since its happened in the past. But this time, the NAACP and I are determined that positive change will come about as a result of what happened to Ankiza. I keep thinking of a dicho, or saying, that my mother always used to repeat in Spanish, No hay mal que por bien venga, or There is no wrong that doesnt bring some right. You better write that one down for me, Sam nodded, saying that his Spanish was very rusty. When I asked Sam about his plans for the summer, he went on to explain that he was taking a cruise to Mexico
with his wife. She keeps reminding me that Im supposed to be retired, so I finally gave in to her wishes. What about you? Sam asked. Will you be going anywhere exciting this summer? Well, Maya and I will probably visit my mother in New Mexico for a few weeks. Then well come back and Ill have to find ways to keep Maya occupied. You know how weird teenagers act in the summer. Sam smiled. Yes, I know exactly what you mean. Marge and I have our hands full with the grandchildren this summer. Glancing at my watch, I told Sam, Time to run. I have a class in five minutes. Oh, you professors, always on the run, Sam said, giving me his impish Columbo look as we stood up to leave.
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That evening when the telephone rang, I heard Maya pick it up. Hi, Grandma, she said. After a few minutes of silence, I heard Maya say, Yeah, Grandma, Moms fine. Her new boyfriend came to dinner the other night. Hes sort of cool. As Maya yelled out that Grandma wanted to talk to me, I was instantly filled with pride at having raised such a daughter. Being a mother wasnt so bad after all, I thought to myself as I headed for the other telephone.
Twenty-One
Ankiza
Its the morning of the senior prom, and all I can think about is how the evening will turn out. After everything thats happened to me, its hard to believe this day has finally come. But Im glad I didnt back down, that I followed my principles, like Dad always taught me. When Kristin calls to ask what Im doing with my hair, I tell her that Mom is going to comb it for me in some kind of a French twist. Kristin sighs, Youre so lucky. My mom couldnt comb the hair on a dead person even if she tried. We start to giggle, and when Kristin asks me what shoes Im wearing tonight, I describe the new pair of satin heels that I bought to match my gown. Kristin doesnt waste any time complaining about the low heels she has to wear so she wont look an inch taller than Tony. Then I ask Kristin if shes been able to find out where the guys are taking us for dinner, and she exclaims, Not yet, but I sure hope its not Taco Bell! Im bursting with giggles again, and by the time I hang up with Kristin, Ive already released a good part of my
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nervous tension. The day seems to drag by like a boat without a sail as I wait for three oclock to come so that I can shower and put on my make-up. By four oclock, I announce to Mom that Im ready to have my hair done. With Athena tagging along, I follow Mom to her bedroom, where she sits me down in front of her dressing table. First, Mom puts tons of gel in my hair to soften it up, and then after several attempts, pulls it all up to the back with an antique hair clasp that matches my dress. Next, she arranges a few short strands of hair around my forehead, and pulls a few long ones down alongside my ears. It seems to take her forever but when I finally gaze at myself in the mirror, Im pleased with what I see. Athena, who has been a restless wiggleworm the whole time, jumps off the bed and announces, You look so pretty . . . just like Miss Piggy! After that, I hurry to my room to put on the prom dress Maya helped me pick out last weekend at Camilles. Its made of green velvet and it has a sexy v-neck that definitely shows off my boobs, according to what Maya said. Im admiring myself in the mirror when Mom comes walking into the room. This is for you, Mom says, handing me a small jewelry box. I gasp when I open the box and find a delicate gold necklace shaped like a half-moon with four inlaid pearls and three diamonds surrounding it. Next to it is a pair of small matching diamond pearl earrings. Catching my breath, I whisper, Mom, these are beautiful!
They belonged to my abuelita. She gave them to me before she died. I want you to have them. Now my eyes are brimming with tears. Mom, I cant. What if I lose them? Mom instantly replies, Dont be silly. I reach out to give her the biggest hug I can without messing up my hairdo. After I put on the beautiful earrings and necklace, I slip my satin heels on, grab my little purse and follow Mom upstairs to the living room to wait for Hunter. As soon as Dad sees me, he whistles, teasing me that Im going to drive all the guys crazy and make the girls green with envy. And when Hunter arrives a short while later, he says, Wow! You look so beautiful! You dont look so bad yourself, I tell him, admiring the black tuxedo he is wearing. Hunter grins as he hands me a box with a small corsage made of orchids. I think you wear it on your wrist, he explains. After I carefully place the corsage on my wrist, I order Athena to hand me Hunters boutonniere from the kitchen island. When she returns with it, I pin it on Hunter, noticing how wonderful he smells. Then, as were about to leave, Mom appears with her camera. When Athena protests in a small whiny voice that she wants her picture taken, Hunter calls her to our side and we take the last picture with her standing between us. Before we go out the door, Dad shakes Hunters hand and he tells us to have fun, reminding us to be careful.
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Tony and Kristin are waiting in the back seat of the sleek-looking Mercedes Benz that Hunter has borrowed from his dad for the evening. As Hunter opens the door and I slide into the front seat, I say hello to Kristin and Tony, who are snuggled up tightly against each other. On the way downtown, Hunter finally reveals the name of the restaurant where well be eating dinner. Its called Marcelinos and its the newest Italian restaurant in Laguna. Ive heard rumors that its very expensive, but that the food is well worth it. As we pass Taco Bell, I turn around to sneak a peek at Kristin, and we both start to giggle. When Tony asks us whats so funny, Kristin tells him its a private joke. Hunter quickly joins in and says, Yeah, Tony, they thought we were a couple of dork-heads who were taking them to eat at Taco Bell! Tony laughs, replying, Hey, thats not such a bad idea, but Kristin tells him to shut up. The dinner at Marcelinos is wonderful. I order my absolute favorite Italian dish, cheese ravioli, and Hunter orders something called risotto. Kristin and Tony both go for the spaghetti with clams. While we eat, we jump around from one topic to the next. Tony talks about the new action movie that is showing at the Town & Country Theater. When Kristin brings up job hunting for the summer, Hunter tells us hell be working with his dad until he leaves for Stanford. They all laugh
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when I mention that the only summer plan I have is to sleep in and watch Jerry Springer. After weve finished eating, we walk a few blocks to the Performing Arts Center, where the prom is being held. Its a warm evening and the air is filled with the sweet smell of lilacs. The first thing we see as we approach the front of the building, is a large banner with this years senior prom themeEnchanted Night. At the entrance, which is colorfully decorated with pink and purple flowers, are two teachers whom I dont recognize. After they collect our tickets, they point out a large room on the right side where a small studio has been set up to take prom pictures before the dance commences. Once the photographer has taken our pictures, we follow the other couples into the main ballroom, where round tables have been set up alongside the walls. The center of the ballroom has been left wide open for dancing. Most of the tables are already filled with couples who are eager for the music to begin. There are two long refreshment tables on each side of the D.J., who is situated directly in the center on a small stage. We finally manage to find a table with a group of Tonys friends. Looking around, I notice that, once again, Im one of a handful of African-American students, but Im determined that I wont let this bother me. All evening long, the D.J. plays one song after another, and Hunter and I dance without stopping. After a very long
while, a song finally comes on that we both hate, so we decide to get something to drink. Were standing next to the refreshment table, when Louise and a tall good-looking guy, whom I vaguely remember from the party, come walking up to us. Louise is the first to speak. Hello, Hunter, she says and then turns to ask me, Ankiza, do you know Jason? I shake my head and Louise politely introduces us. She gives me the nicest smile as she says, I love your gown. That color is very becoming on you. Thanks, I tell Louise while Hunter squeezes my hand, adding, Yeah, isnt she beautiful? Louise smiles sweetly. When she invites Hunter and me to a party at the Roman Knights, Jason interrupts to explain that he and two other seniors rented a room for the entire night. Id really like it if you and Hunter could come by, Louise repeats. Speechless, I stare at Louise, knowing shes being sincere. Hunter quickly thanks her, saying that weve made other plans. As they walk away, I tell Hunter, That was nice of her. He nods, pulling me back onto the dance floor. At eleven-thirty, the D. J. stops the music. Everyone cheers wildly as the senior class president goes up on stage to announce the names of the Prom King and Queen. A tall sandy-haired guy and a pretty brunette proudly march on stage to be crowned.
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Hunter tells me, I knew Jack would win! After a round of applause, we all gather around as the Prom King and Queen dance to a slow romantic love song. After a few minutes, we all join in and the dance floor is crowded again. The prom ends at midnight, and we reluctantly file out of the ballroom with all the other couples. As we walk back to the car with Tony and Kristin, we talk about how much fun we had, and make plans to get together for a movie next weekend. After we drop off Tony and Kristin, we drive to the lake that is near my house. Hunter parks the car and then turns to me and says, Thanks, for going to the prom with me, Ankiza. I know it wasnt an easy decision, but I want you to know that youve made my senior year very special. Then, before I can utter a single word, Hunter pulls me into his arms and gives me a long, tender kiss. When he finally lets go of me, I know that I wont ever forget my first prom.
rrr
The moment I unlock the front door that night, Mom comes downstairs to meet me. She looks half-asleepher hair is tousled and shes wearing her Charlie Brown nightgown. I know that shes been waiting up for me. How was the dance? she asks, fighting off a yawn. It was the best, Mom! Hunter and I danced all night.
Thats all I needed to hear, Mom says, letting another yawn escape. Now lets go to bed and you can tell me all about it in the morning. I give Mom a good-night hug, then head for my bedroom to undress. As I hang up my beautiful gown in the closet, I remember the ugly note and how afraid I was to attend the prom. Now, I cant help but smile to myself, knowing deep inside of me that I made the right decision. Things always work out if you stand up for what you believe.
Gloria L. Velsquez created the Roosevelt High School Series so that young adults of different ethnic backgrounds would find themselves visible instead of invisible. When I was growing up, there werent any books with characters with whom I could relate, characters that looked or talked like Maya, Juanita, or Ankiza. The Roosevelt High School Series [RHS] is my way of promoting cultural diversity as well as providing a forum for young people to discuss serious issues that impact their lives. I often will refer to the RHS Series as my Rainbow Series since I modeled it after Jesse Jacksons concept of the rainbow coalition. Velsquez has received numerous honors for her writing and achievements, such as being featured for Hispanic Heritage Month on KTLA, Channel 5, Los Angeles, an inclusion in Whos Who Among Hispanic Americans, Something About the Author and Contemporary Authors. In 1989, Velsquez became the first Chicana to be inducted into the University of Northern Colorados Hall of Fame. The 2003 anthology, Latina and Latino Voices in Literature for Teenagers and Children, devotes a chapter to Velsquezs life and development as a writer. Velsquez is also featured in the 2006 PBS Documentary, La Raza de Colorado. In 2007, she was also included in the award-winning anthology A-Z Latino Writers and Journalists. In 2004, Velsquez was featured in 100 History Making Ethnic Women by Sherry Park (Linworth Publishing). Stanford University recently honored her with The Gloria Velsquez Papers, archiving her life as a writer and humanitarian.

Ankiza by Gloria L. Velasquez

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BOOKS IN The Roosevelt High School Series

PIATA BOOKS ARTE PBLICO PRESS HOUSTON, TEXAS

In Memory of Dr. Marilyn Fife

Professor Sonia Gonzales

Professor Sonia Gonzales

Professor Sonia Gonzales

Professor Sonia Gonzales

Professor Sonia Gonzales

Professor Sonia Gonzales

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Professor Sonia Gonzales

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Professor Sonia Gonzales

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