Holman Kiley |1 Kiley Holman Kholma11@bruinmail.slcc.edu Interpersonal Theme Paper Professor Art Kanehara Com. 1010-016 M. W. 11:30 a.m.

to 12:50 p.m. Interpersonal Themes Hand Plucked By Kiley Holman Communication is a very important thing in the everyday life of any intelligent being, although this is exponential for humans, with our advanced forms of communication. Understanding what communication types exist is the key element in understanding the meaning of what others are saying to you. Communication is irreversible (pg. 7-9) is the essence of communication, where people are able to remember what someone elses actions, words, body language, and emphasis without being able to erase those thoughts from others. The best way you can use Irreversible communication to your advantage is to know how and when to avoid using offensive mannerisms when trying to communicate sensitive subjects or just merely a conversation between friends. Try to remember when you were in junior high school there was at least one kid that was picked on more than other kids. Most of the kids would say mean and hurtful things to him/her. Now granted most of the people who were making these irreversible harmful communications probably dont remember what they said. There is at least one person who was the aggressor who regrets what they did to that person. With the emerging technology, maybe one of the next generations will be able to benefit from all the irreversible communication that is spread all over the internet. They just might learn from some of our mistakes through history. Communication is evolving alongside our technology we are now able to have a conversation with someone that is on the opposite side of the world with no delay. If you looked back a hundred years ago, this would have been considered impossible! With this new rapid form of communication leading to the question of which channel of communication you need to use to get your ideas across to someone. The channel you chose depends on a wide variety of factors from the amount of information need to broadcast the message. If you need to show emotion you would rather choose a face-to-face, or even video-chat, format rather than a text message or memo (pg. 11-14). Another factor is the amount of time you have to broadcast your message, such as a synchronous communication format which allows for rapid exchange in information. Synchronous communication consists of face-to-face, video chat, phone calls, and voice chat rooms with all of these channels there is no time variances to slow messages down as they go back and forth between the parties. The other option for communication is asynchronous communications, which consist of slower forms of communications. For example emails, letters,

Holman Kiley |2 newspapers, and even text messages. The last factor is the amount of control you will need to broadcast your message with the most efficiency possible. If you intend to just broadcast a message and not expect any interruption the asynchronous formats would be a better choice, but if you would like a two way communication setting then the synchronous may be a better situation. For example you wouldnt want to call in to work for with an email, text message, or letter. Rather you would use the synchronous channels such as phone call, voice chat, and faceto-face. I mentioned before communication is the ability that people are able to remember what someone elses actions, words, body language, and emphasis without being able to erase those thoughts from others. Body language plays a major role on how you message is received by others. These non-verbal messages communicate to others the psychological thought processes that we use naturally (90-103). Take for example you are going in for an interview, as you walk in to the room the interview is going to be conducted. Behind the desk sits a man with a stagnant look on his face, using a monotone voice, and doesnt move a muscle for the whole interview. When you are done he stands up apathetically shakes your hand and walks out of the room with haste. Now lets look at a different situation to compare the two. You are telling one of your friends story about what had happened to you the week before. Every now and then your friend looks at the time on his watch. Before you can even finish your story your friend stops you and says Sorry but I need to go and leaves without letting you finish. With the first example you wouldnt be able to read the psychology due to the lack of body language and apathetic verbal communication. With the second example you can pick up on the idea that maybe your friend has something they need to do or have an appointment. These basic examples show that there is a required amount of emotion when communicating. Communication between each generation is different due to the culture values that change over time (pg. 34). For example the Y generation, which is the generation I belong too, is much more familiar with technology and adapting to the next generation technology, no pun intended, when compared to the baby boomers. The baby boomers face a battle when it comes to familiarity and adaptations to technological changes. Most baby boomers are familiar with computers to the extent of maybe knowing how to send emails, or access websites. Not many of them would know how to convert one type of document into a different format, although there are some who know a great amount of computer knowledge. Where the baby boomers lack in technology they make up for in other aspects such as their strong work ethics. For example my grandfather would not sit in his lazy boy recliner until he made sure the lawn was mowed, the garden was groomed then watered, and all the other daily chores that he had for the day were completely done before he could take a break. This strong work ethic that is through-out their generation is due to the generation before them and how their ethics were before. Every generation changes certain aspects if not almost entirely change the cultures taboos from the previous generations. Such as the views on marijuana; although this debate has been argued since the 1930s, generation Ys views on marijuana as a natural alternative to prescription drugs

Holman Kiley |3 for epilepsy, chemo patients, people who suffer from HIV, and many more. Comparing that with the baby boomers views on marijuana such as that only jazz musicians, and sinners smoke weed. The Reefer Madness, a propaganda exploit film, in this film several teens try marijuana and end up going through a series of acts against humanity such as attempted rape, manslaughter, and the decent into insanity. The conservative culture of the time didnt have the technological and scientific information readily available. Even if they did the information was skewed to make the numbers reflect what they were stating as facts. This scare tactic achieved its goal in diverting the populations views on marijuana to think it was evil and unsafe. Generation X could be considered the generation that swayed cultures views on marijuana. With the ideas of peace and love being spread by the hippies, the heavy metal band Black Sabbath, and the hipsters of the 80s all recreationally using marijuana. Defying what the government had laid out the generation before. Richard Nixon tried to reinforce the ideals that marijuana is an evil that needs to be wiped from the face of the earth. When Nixon refused to read the findings by the "Shafer Commission", which was composed of people Nixon assigned, which stated that "neither the marihuana user nor the drug itself can be said to constitute a danger to public safety". This time the generation was fooled once again into a false ideal. Generation X is now the major authority figures in our nation and you can see which states defied this notion set by Nixon with the legalization of medical marijuana, as well as two states that have recreational marijuana. This liberal ideal of marijuana being decriminalized will eventually sweep over our nation as the generation x are replaced by generation y as authority figures. Although most people may not be able to notice, I suffer from a disability myself. Disabilities can sometimes make communicating difficult (pg. 38). Some people will treat someone in a wheelchair differently when compared to a similar peer without the disability. Such as a person avoiding words that have to do with someones disability such as saying talk to you later to someone who is deaf. I suffer from severe back pain caused by a ruptured disc in my L5-S1 vertebrae causing sciatica. I am not able to lift more than twenty-five pounds more than once an hour, with a max lift of fifty pounds once a day. I suffer from pain every day and people often misconstrue my facial expressions as if I am angry, too scary looking to talk to, and yes even described as an as****e. Yet these people dont know the reasoning to why I have these expressions, they are not out of anger or to frighten but of pain and agony. The difficulty people have in deciphering certain human expressions, or non-verbal communication, causing them to communicate with me differently. These people are picking up on nonverbal behavior, which is not the intention that I mean to project to people (pg. 96). With the ambiguousness of nonverbal behavior it is easy for people to interoperate most types of non-verbal communication. With the main aspect of non-verbal encompassing the attitudes of those who are broadcasting the message. The type of non-verbal Im broadcasting is posture and movement. I have to make sure that I am sitting straight, walk with a slight curve to my back, and withstand the constant pain. Some people look at me as if I am weird when I broadcast the non-verbal posture/movement. I asked the person, who told me that I looked scary, why? They told me the reason was my posture

Holman Kiley |4 and the way I carried myself. Completely taken back by their interpretation I explained to them the story about my disability. I now maintain contact with this person and we have been close friends ever since. I have come to accept that through some peoples eyes that I am not capable of what a normal person is capable of, this may be true with the physical aspect but not my mental and emotional abilities. I can say to those people that you never know who has a disability, and not to forget that communication is irreversible, so treat everyone with the same respect as what you come to expect from others. Dont treat someone as if they were special because they have a disability rather treat them as if they were like one of your close peers. I have learned how to conceal the look of pain from my face, although not consistently, to that of a smile to anyone I make eye contact with. With these themes I have shown, which I can relate to the most, giving some insight as to some of what communication consists of; although there is much more detail that I have not covered. Communication is the pinnacle of our human intellect, allowing for people to share and decode information, with the added ability to memorize the information. If we all become masters of communication we may be able to communicate our way through some of the worlds toughest barriers. Tearing down the ideals of oppression, war, sexism, and discrimination around the world. Although this is just a theoretical thought due to variances in views on taboos and culture norms. I hope to become a master of communication so that I may spread my hopes of shedding light on using technology to discover the unknown ocean world. Communicating with others to get feedback and help with the ideas. Using the communication skills that I will develop throughout my college experience to build my skills when it comes time to find a person or foundation to fund my idea. I will be able to reach my goal as long as I keep mastering my communication skills on all fronts.